sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

look at that piece of art

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

this is my last chance

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it is not always flowers and daisies

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

AN OPEN LETTER TO KANEMOTO YOSHINORI

I am writing this emotional and fangirling letter, October 28, 2020. And this will be posted in May 15, 2021, Yoshi's birthday.

Yesterday, I am beyond proud for Treasure members as they released their title poster in Chapter 3. I am so much proud of Kanemoto Yoshinori, the tiger of Teumes.

To our dearest Tiger, I wish that you're enjoying your idol days. Step by step you, with the members, will be something big in next years. As of now, we Teumes know that you're all doing your best to create music and dances. Please be physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy.

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

i still care

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How though?

It's not easy to find something interesting, especially during bad days. There are times when I doubt my self-capability and think about what if's. I would love to explore more ideas and possibilities but my pessimistic thoughts won't let me. I'm trying to divert my attention and energy to the things that I want to do. I'm confused if I'm doing things for enjoyment or it's just a mere distraction from the things that make me anxious. They say it's okay to do nothing and just feel the solitude, 'til now I want to believe it, but I don't want to be fed by the illusion that I can make progress by not boosting myself. Yes, I make my life more confusing.

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

What Quarantine Taught Me: It's okay not to be okay

This quarantine I always choose to secure my inner peace but it's hard because there are a lot of issues circulating in my social life and online. Like I want to empathize with the unprivileged and poor but how am I going to do it when I'm not in good condition, mentally and emotionally. I don't want to be selfish and just think about myself. When there is bad news (well most of the time) I am deeply affected because all I can do is share posts related to it. I know that it's not enough. I am not capable enough to handle such situations that make me vulnerable. And I hate myself because of it. I want to accept that it's okay to be sorry for the circumstances that I can't control but there are always regrets that I can't do something about it. 

#quarantine #done with life #life is weird #clouds #thoughts #ulapatbituin #malaya

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

How to find thy self

I've been lost for the past years. When I was young I thought I know what to do with my life. I thought I know my passion, which is writing, but as time pass by I can't put enough good and relevant words. I tried blogging but it doesn't improve my skill. I tried making poems and be wary of my environment to find inspiration and be motivated but I can't. Maybe I'm here to answer whether I'll find the old me or discover something new about myself. Maybe I am here because I want to find myself again. Maybe I am here because I want to continue and hone my skill. Maybe I am here for me to find the right words. Maybe I am here to share and tell my story. Maybe. There are a lot of maybes but I know for sure that I'll be myself again. 

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

Today I encounter a good short story entitled, The Prince and the Magician. Here it goes:

Once upon a time there was a young prince who believed in all things but three. He did not believe in princesses, he did not believe in islands, he did not believe in God. His father, the king, told him that such things did not exist. As there were no princesses or islands in his father's domains, and no sign of God, the prince believed his father.

But then, one day, the prince ran away from his palace and came to the next land. There, to his astonishment, from every coast he saw islands, and on these islands, strange and troubling creatures whom he dared not name. As he was searching for a boat, a man in full evening dress approached him along the shore. "Are those real islands?", asked the young prince. "Of course they are real islands, said the man in evening dress. "And those strange and troubling creatures?" "They are all genuine and authentic princesses." "Then God must also exist!”, cried the prince. "I am God", replied the man in evening dress, with a bow.

The young prince returned home as quickly as he could.

"So, you are back", said his father, the king. "I have seen islands, I have seen princesses, I have seen God", said the prince reproachfully. The king was unmoved. "Neither real islands, nor real princesses, nor a real God exist." "I saw them!" "Tell me how God was dressed." "God was in full evening dress." "Were the sleeves of his coat rolled back?" The prince remembered that they had been. The king smiled. "That is the uniform of a magician. You have been deceived." At this, the prince returned to the next land and went to the same shore, where once again he came upon the man in full evening dress. "My father, the king, has told me who you are", said the prince indignantly. "You deceived me last time, but not again. Now I know that those are not real islands or real princesses, because you are a magician." The man on the shore smiled. "It is you who are deceived, my boy. In your father's kingdom, there are many islands and many princesses. But you are under your father's spell, so you cannot see them."

The prince pensively returned home. When he saw his father, he looked him in the eye. "Father, is it true that you are not a real king, but only a magician?" The king smiled and rolled back his sleeves. "Yes, my son, I'm only a magician. "Then the man on the other shore was God." "The man on the other shore was another magician." "I must know the truth, the truth beyond magic. "There is no truth beyond magic", said the king. The prince was full of sadness. He said, "I will kill myself.” The king by magic caused death to appear. Death stood in the door and beckoned to the prince. The prince shuddered, He remembered the beautiful but unreal islands and the unreal but beautiful princesses. "Very well", he said, "I can bear it." "You see, my son" said the king, "You, too, now begin to be a magician."

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Can we just say to people that there is no absolute truth in this world? Like all of us are magicians, we love to trick or manipulate the minds of people around us so our favors or needs or wants will be granted. But why do we manipulate? Why do we have to change their minds? Why? Can we just tell an honest answer so there are no lies? Why does the father told his son that there are no princesses, no islands, and no God? Is he training the young prince to become the manipulative King one day?

#question #thoughts #life #shortstory #people #hypocrisy

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

Finding direction

Eight years ago, I'm really passionate at writing poems, articles, and essays. Eight years ago, I am always proud of myself because I know what I'm going to do for the next ten years, to write. Eight years is gone and I only have two years to fulfill that dream but here I am now, I am lost. I don't know which path to step in. I don't know what are the consequences of my choices.

#life #passion #done with life #thoughts

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

I am living for myself. Right?

Kaya mo 'yan!

#life is strange

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

Kapayapaan lang naman ang hinahangad ko, bakit ang hirap makuha? 

Ang saya siguro sa puso kung malaya kang mag-isip at gumawa ng mga bagay ng walang bumabagabag at pag-aalinlangan sa isip mo.

#life #life is strange #buhay #ulapatbituin #sana #kapayapaan #mentalstrength

[sa-mga-ulap-at-bituin]

Pagpapakilala

Gusto kong makita, magawa at malaman ang mga bagay-bagay na maaaring magbigay sa akin ng mga kahulugan kung ano nga ba ang buhay.  Sa mga ulap at bituin ako humihiling kung kaya ko pa bang tumagal sa mundong ito.

Sa mga ulap at bituin,

Malaya

#malaya #buhay #selfgrow #pilipinas #findinglife