Am I bad?
Roman's POV after the events of putting others first.
Some prinxiety, can been seen as either platonic or romantic
This is my first sanders side oneshot ever and I actually loved writing it!
Roman ran. Sinking out before any of the others could see the tears gathering in his eyes. Were they being serious? Trusting that... that snake over him? Dece- ‘Janus’ had been their enemy for as long long as Roman could remember and yet they were now going to take his side over Roman's? They had been together on the same side from the start. They were supposed to be a family. They had gone through so much together, both good and bad but all that snake had to do was talk smoothly and everyone was all of a sudden on his side?
Roman curls up in the corner of his brightly lit room, burying his face in his arms as he tries to control the tears. Normally the bright lights and Disney posters would cheer him up whenever he felt down, now they did nothing to lessen the pain. It wasn’t fair, how did they even know if he was telling the truth about anything? He was the lord of the flipping lies and yet Thomas and Patton had taken his side over Romans.
Roman was nothing like Remus. He couldn’t be. When Deceit had compared him to his twin... it had felt like he had been slapped in the face. He wasn’t like Remus, he couldn’t be. He was the Prince, the good guy. Wasn’t he?
Rubbing angrily at the falling tears, Roman pulls at his sash in frustration. What if he wasn’t as good as he had thought he was? Had he been hurting Thomas all along? Breathing heavily, Roman squeezes his eyes shut. Thomas didn’t see Roman as his hero anymore. That, well seeing the look in Thomas’s eyes when he had tried saying that he was had hurt. Because he knew, even before looking to Deceit for confirmation, that Thomas had been lying.
Maybe Roman wasn’t the good guy anymore. He rips the sash off, tossing it across the room without looking up. If he wasn’t the Prince anymore, what was he?
‘I’m nobody’s hero,’ Roman grips his hair, trying to shut his loud thoughts out. ‘I’m just like Remus.’ Why had everything gone so wrong? He had once been good, the hero. He could still remember how happy he had been when Thomas had first called him his hero. Now that memory stung, a reminder of how far he had fallen.
“Hey... Roman?”
Roman doesn’t look up at the sound of the familiar voice. He couldn’t, the shame at the thought of anyone seeing him like this made his cheeks burn bright red.
“I heard about what happened, are you okay?”
Roman heard Virgil walking across the room. “I’m fine.”
“Yeah, you look like it.”
“Why are you here?“ Roman wanted nothing more than to be left alone right now. “If you heard what happened, then you should know that I’m the bad guy this time.” I’m no better than Remus.
“You aren’t a bad guy,” Virgil says softly. “You just made a mistake, but it’ll be okay.”
Roman though differently. He felt Virgil kneel next to him but doesn’t make any move to lift his head.
“I uh... I’m really not great at dealing with this stuff but...” He pauses, “but I do know that you’re good, you always just want to help Thomas achieve his goals, Janus was wrong to say what he did.”
“How can they just trust him like that? Take his side? He’s a dark side, they’re the bad guys.”
Virgil doesn’t reply for a long moment. “Do you think I’m a bad guy?” He says finally.
This got Roman to look up, wiping at the tears clinging to his cheeks. “What?”
Virgil looks at him, eyes dark and... sad? “Am I a bad guy?”
Roman hesitates for only the barest of a second. “No! You’re... well you may be a bit intense at times and sometimes you can be a bit moody but you’re one of us, you’re nothing like them.”
“I used to be one of them.” Virgil says softly.
“But you changed, you wanted to be good, to be a light side.” Roman swallows thickly. “You want to help Thomas.”
“Even so, I still used to be one of them, so if I can want to be good, why can’t they?”
Roman grabs at his hair, his thoughts a mess. For so long he had viewed the world as black and white. Good and bad. Now, the grey areas were growing larger. He couldn’t even trust his own views anymore. What was good and bad?
“But... but.”
“People can change, Roman, not everything is as black and white as you see it, that’s something Pat had to learn as well.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Roman whispers painfully.
Virgil does something out of character then, wrapping a comforting arm around Roman. “Oh god I’m really not good with this stuff,” he muttered so quietly that Roman could barely catch his words. “Uh, it’ll all be okay, you hear me? Everything is gonna work out.”
“I just... this isn’t like me, I should be helping Thomas achieve his hopes and dreams, not letting you all down.”
Virgil only hugs him tighter. “We all have our bad days.”
How could he face everyone after what he had said? “They all probably hate me.”
“Okay you know who you’re starting to sound like?”
“Who?”
“Me.” Virgil draws back to look at Roman. “Being all gloomy and stuff is my job, stop trying to copy my style Prince, because no one can pull it off as cool as I do.”
This drew a small giggle from Roman. “Oh I could never be the emo nightmare that you are.”
“Exactly, because you’re... you. The Prince,” Virgil gives him a rare genuine smile. “And as a Prince, you have the strength in you to get through any situation, just like the prince’s in the Disney movies.”
Roman nods slowly, running a hand through his hair to try and fix the mess it was now in. “You’re right.”
“Excuse me? Could you repeat that?”
“Shush,” Roman looks down at his hands. “And uh, thanks for... talking to me.”
“Yeah well don’t expect me to be this kind all the time, I’m still anxiety after all,” Virgil stands. “But I hope you feel better soon.”
Once he’s gone, Roman takes a moment to breath slowly, waiting for his thoughts to slow. He could do this. Standing up, he walks over to his rumpled sash and grabs it. Time to do some apologizing.
He could do this.
83 notes
·
View notes