sadndeadinside - Tumblr blog

sadndeadinside · 8 months

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I have a home but i feel homeless at times

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sadndeadinside · 9 months

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I feel like everything i know about in life is a lie and i just have to start over again and relearn everything again in a short amount of time.

Learning new skills and studying

Friends, making friends, keep them

Work

Money

How the world works

Everything Anything

My life is a lie

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sadndeadinside · 9 months

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sadndeadinside · 9 months

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I used to love being by myself

But i discovered the joy of being with friends

But as time past all my friends have drifted apart

I thought i would enjoy being alone again

But i didnt

Now i feel lonely when im with friends and by myself

I feel lonely when I'm with friends because there is no deep connection and I have no one to turn to when there is something i want to talk to

So i thought i would prefer if i was alone when im with friends

But when im alone i feel lonely again seeing people out the window hanging out with friends and on my phone everyone is hanging out with friends

I feel so alone that i feel like I'm an alien but at the same time i know I'm not because sometimes i was wany to be invisible and listen or watch my friends or some group of strangers hanging out and have fun but i cant do that cause it will be probably be creepy and weird i feel like i just want to be invisible sometimes and watch people like watching a movie maybe i will be less lonely when i can join people but not actually participate in it

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sadndeadinside · 9 months

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I used to love solidarity and say that "being alone isnt being lonely" and not alot of people around me understand or agree with me.

But now i think i understand their point of view, as i have more friends and losing them i started to feel lonely when I'm alone

I wish i never knew of this happiness and the joy of having friends and just enjoyed my solidarity and being happy with just being alone

#depressing shit #alone with my thoughts

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sadndeadinside · 9 months

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Update i have moved on and my life is better and I'm happier in some part of my life while also in some other areas i feel like im at my lowest point. Idk how that is possible. I'm in constant stress and worry that I'm so tired and sometimes i feel like its better to have just died but at the same time im reminded that i survived it and i have become happier so i can get thru it again but im so tired of having to be keep going in this almost seemingly endless cycle of ups and down that im kind of tired of it all.

#depressing shit

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sadndeadinside · 2 years

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Wtf is wrong with me I swear

Like my life is fine but I still feel like shit

Like I still hate myself and everyone

I swear there's something wrong with me or maybe just the people around me that is something wrong

I fucking hate this feeling and every moment of this right now

I just feel so stuck again urgh!

I hate myself

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