sakukaguxxi - Tumblr blog

sakukaguxxi · 8 months

Text

LADEVOTEE k.hj

Summary: Your life might be mundane to others in a city of stars and wanna-be's, but you don't care. You're just trying to keep your head down and work hard, even if all your friends just don't get you. Also, How is it that everyone knows Kim Hongjoong and you don't? is there really anything that special about him? The answer is yes. The real question is, is there anything special bout you? He seems to think so.

Warnings: afab reader, swearing, alchohol use, people being assholes, car sex, unprotected sex, marking, probably some other stuff, let me know this is really long.

Wc: 21.1k (i know im sorry)

Author's Note: Yeah this is totally based on the Panic at the Disco song, no I don't like any of their new music basically at all but that one slaps. Also, I've had this idea for at least a year and I've tried writing it like three times but this is the first time its worked. maybe that's why its so long.

🔸comments and reblogs are appreciated🔸

You don’t know how the fuck you got here, really in truly. The sun had set about an hour ago, but the air was still warm and a pleasant breeze wrapped around your bare shoulders and ruffled your dress. You weren’t dressed for the occasion at all. You wore light florals, fit for a friendly gathering. Not at all what this party had turned into.

From where you stood by the bar you could see the party unfold into picturesque chaos around you. Everyone was too beautiful, too graceful, and too confident, even as they jumped into the pool with their too expensive clothes still on. It felt like a scene out of a movie. If your life was a movie right now, it would be called “wallflower”

You looked to the skyline as it seemed to be the only place you could look without staring at someone. California was a desert, people always seem to forget that. And everyone knows the desert is best at night. There were no stars, the lights from the city shown too bright, but from this house's spot on a hill, you could see all the twinkling lights of life in the city around you, illuminating the sparse clouds in the sky making them glow against the black.

You used to love this city. You used to love being from LA and living the magic. But as you grew, things became a little duller. The world became a little too real. You barely had time to stop and admire it. But to others, the city glowed like the sunset that just passed. Deserts also have amazing sunsets. And the place drew people like moths to a flame. That’s who most of these people were anyway.

You couldn’t see anyone you came with, and you didn’t even know whose house it was. The text your coworker and friend had sent you was simple ‘I’m picking you up at 8, wear something cute.’ This text had woefully underprepared you for tonight. But it’s not that what it’s like here in LA? A chance invite to the right party could be enough to set your career on the fast track. And a party was never just a party. Except you weren’t an aspiring actor or musician, you were a hairdresser. So no, this was not your scene.

Your phone rang in your pocket. It was Macy, your coworker. With a huff, you fished the last drops of your drink, set down the glass, and pushed your way to the far back of the patio where the pounding house music would not be so loud in your ear.

“Where are you?” You asked into the phone, not waiting a moment for pleasantries. You could hear voices in the background over the phone, but suspiciously no music.

“I’m going to the beach with some friends I met, on no! Did you want to come?” Macy's bubbly voice called through the receiver. She practically screamed the words to be heard, but a slight tremor of a slur told you she had drunk herself into this situation.

“No, Macy-“ you cut yourself off with a sigh, “what did you need?” You asked in exasperation. Just as you spoke a loud cheer broke out from the partygoers behind you. A glance over your shoulder allowed you to see many of them crowding the big glass doors that led to the patio and the rest of the party inside. You whipped back around.

“What?” Macy asked after a beat.

“You called me Mace, did you need something?” You spoke slowly, enunciating into the phone. Your patient was wearing thin.

“Ummm, oh wait yeah! Can you cover my clients tomorrow?”

You didn’t even try to stop the groan that left you. You loved Macy. You did, but covering for her every time she had a hangover was getting exhausting. Especially since this time she had dragged you out with her as well.

“Yeah fine, call me if you need me to come to get you.” You replied dryly.

“Oh my God! Thank you so much! I love you!” She called into the phone before the line went dead.

You sat in shock for a moment. Why did you agree to that? It’s not like you had a stick up your butt or anything. You loved parties, you loved drinking with your friends and having fun, but this? This party was way too Hollywood Hills for your taste. And now you couldn’t even get drunk to enjoy it because you have to work tomorrow.

You turned back to the sea of people. The party was still bumping it seemed even wilder than when you turned around a few minutes ago, but it seemed to have lost the magic sparkle that you had been quietly admiring only moments before at the bar.

You debated just leaving altogether if you hadn’t just finished a drink. You would have to give yourself an hour or so before you felt safe to drive though you were definitely not drunk enough to jump into the sparkling crystal water as the other girls had.

“Why the long face?” A voice you recognized inquired. You looked up to see Anthony, he was the manager of your salon, and one of the people who had dragged you out here and essentially abandoned you by the bar. It wasn’t his fault. It was wrong to blame your shitty night on him, but it was just so easy with him standing in front of you.

“I’m taking over for Macy tomorrow,” you reply drily as ever. It wasn’t rude but even then you felt guilty for taking it out on him. Before you could even voice an apology the tall skinny man was laughing.

“Such a team player! I knew I did the right thing by hiring you.” Anthony patted himself on the back, spilling a bit of his drink across his baby blue shirt.

Just as you were about to comment on it another man approached your conversation, but this one you did not know, but by god did you want to.

A small but lithe hand landed softly on Anthony’s shoulder. Patting at the damp spot. The hand was attached to an arm, bare completely except for a few small tattoos that were inked into blemish-less golden skin. The arm was attached to a well-built shoulder wrapped in a tight black sleeveless top. Muscles bulged from the shirt, not in an overt bodybuilder way but just enough to distort the word written across his chest, the man had a jean jacket thrown over his other shoulder. And holy fuck, the collection of silver chains and trinkets that hung around his neck.

As your eyes moved up to his face your breath hitched. He was easily the best-looking man you had ever seen. Sharp and defined eyes, a pointed nose, and a wide smile curved into his lips showing rows of pearly white teeth. All of this was topped with more piercings in each ear than you could count and bright cherry red hair styled effortlessly to perfection.

If Anthony noticed your gawking, he didn’t say anything. And the man hadn’t even looked at you yet. As your manager turned to look at the man his eyes lit up.

“Hongjoong! My man, it’s good to see you, I didn’t even know you were here!” Anthony cheered, before returning the gesture with a pat on the shoulder. Now it was the man’s, or Hongjoong you suppose, turn to speak.

“Only just arrived, got caught up by some old friends at the door.”

Oh my lord, his voice was like honey. The reflection from the pool danced across one side of his sculpted face as he spoke, his bright smile only stretching wider.

And then it clicked. When you were on the phone earlier, the people cheering, the crowd by the door. This man wasn’t just a man, he was The Man. The kind of hug everyone wanted to know, the one they all wanted to call friends, the one everyone just knew was gonna make it big.

This thought alone was enough to pull you out of your daydream. Yeah, you had no chance with him. It's not like you didn’t think you were hot enough or cool enough. More like, you weren’t known enough.

And as if to prove your point, as soon as Anthony finished whatever sentence that he had started and you didn’t hear, Hongjoong bid farewell and walked away, without a glance in your direction.

Just because you didn’t have a chance didn’t mean you weren’t allowed to admire the way his stylish clothes clung to his body. And you couldn’t help but notice the way you could hear the click of his boots even over the pounding music.

There was no way you could stop the words tumbling from your lips.

“So what’s his deal?” Luckily they came out far more nonchalant than you felt, in fact, you were dying to know. But you never got a clear answer.

“Wait? You’ve never met Hongjoong? How is that even possible, everyone knows Hongjoong!” He looked stunned.

“Well I don’t,” this time you didn’t even feel bad for being annoyed.

“Come on, I’ll introduce you!”

before you even had a chance to reply or feel mortified that you were about to be introduced to a man that had completely ignored you, Anthony took hold of your shoulder and was leading you down the pavement to a small set of stairs. Two steps down then it leveled into a small but equally crowded fire pit area. You barely had time to look around at the beautiful bodies around you before you stopped directly in front of the best of them all.

Somehow Hongjoong had already been integrated into a group of others, who were already hanging on his every word. Anthony pushed past several of them before depositing you at Hongjoong feet. From where he sat at the fire pit, you could feel his gaze burning you as it moved up your body, for the first time that evening you felt truly self-conscious about your outfit, you could practically feel his gaze analyzing every inch of you before landing on your face. His eyes held your gaze without moving, his hand halfway in the hair as he stopped mid-sentence, no expression painting his features but a stone-cold stare.

“Hey, I almost forgot to introduce you to my friend!”

Anthony called over your shoulder.

As if the words flicked a switch. Hongjoong’s face morphed into that wide bright smile, he reached out one of those perfect hands to you, you couldn’t help noticing electric blue polish on some of his nails. His entire body seemed to ooze charisma when only moments ago he looked as cold as stone. It seems he had finally decided you were worth knowing.

“Hi, I’m Kim Hongjoong, lovely to meet you.”

“Wait Hongjoong showed up after I left! No fair! I wish I had stayed.”

It was exactly one week after the party. As Macy spoke you ran a comb through her hair, snipping lightly at the ends. You had no customers for an hour or so and Macy had all but begged you to trim her sleek back hair, while you had the time.

You paused to take a sip of the iced coffee that was acting as your lunch, you would never do this with a customer, but if she wanted her hair done during your break she would have to deal with it.

“Does everyone know this guy but me?” You asked aloud, you hadn’t really expected an answer but Macy gave you one anyway.

“Well duh, it’s Kim Hongjoong, he’s gonna be famous one day.” She spelled it out as if you were missing some great point.

“Yeah, I gathered that,” you huffed. Returning to her hair.

“Listen, Kim Hongjoong is a really cool guy. He has some cool raps on sound cloud- don’t give me that face it’s actually really good.” At the mention of sound cloud, your eyes had rolled so far it was impossible to miss as she was facing the mirror. But she continued.

“But that’s not even it, his real thing is producing, he does all of his own songs but he’s also helping out a lot of other people, and not just nobodies, some of his friends have connections and I bet it’s only a matter of time before he gets a job at a real label working with real celebrities.” She explained, her face twisting into a satisfied smile at the end.

You couldn’t help but sigh. You had lived in LA all your life, and much of the glamour had lost its touch to you, but Macey had only moved out here 3 years ago and was obsessed with celebrity culture. That and her well-off parents allowed her to live way more comfortably than you could on your commission, not to mention they footed the bill for her partying habits. You didn’t mind covering for her, LA was expensive and any customer she didn’t take was extra money for you, it’s not like she would miss it. Macy, though she was technically older than you, felt like your little sister in a lot of ways.

“What did you guys even talk about? You don’t have anything in common.” You knew she meant no harm by the words but they still stung if only a little.

“We didn’t actually talk that much, Anthony introduced us, but there were so many people around him all trying to get his attention I barely think he heard my name.” You replied honestly, snipping again at her hair.

“Oh well, that makes sense, like I said he’s very popular.” She shrugged. You ran a brush through her hair before tapping her shoulder.

“Yeah whatever, you're all done, get up my next customer is gonna be here in a few minutes.”

You brushed off your shoulders before unclipping her apron. Macey all but squealed. Getting to her feet she admired herself in your mirror before whipping around with her hands clasped and a bright smile.

“OMG! Thank you it looks too good!” She hugged you. You returned it just as tight.

“Well thanks again babe, but I have to get going, Shane is picking me up soon.” She swooned.

“When’s he going to make you his girlfriend? You asked with a chuckle, re-organizing your tools. She had been spilling to you about her situationship for weeks now and honestly, you doubted he was the kind of guy who even wanted a real girlfriend, but a happy Macy made your life easier, you were better equipped to be her shoulder to cry on when it went south then try to stop it. You couldn’t with the last guy.

“I don’t know, hopefully soon!” She called on her way out the door.

You heard to bell tinkle to signal her departure. You finished setting up for your next client, slowly bopping your head to the music playing in the salon. You had been so focused on your task that you almost missed the tingle of the bell letting you know someone had entered. When you looked up you had expected to see Mrs. Alton a middle-aged woman with a wealthy husband who tipped exceptionally well. But instead, leaning against the counter, in shredded jeans and another god-forsaken tank top was a mop of cherry red hair. He was looking around at the decor with mild interest.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

At first, you were confused, then mortified, then suddenly, as you remembered that there was no way this man was here to see you, you were about to turn back to your station when you realized that your salon's receptionist was nowhere to be found. Damn lunch breaks.

As you approached the counter you once again realized how not dressed up you were. I mean, you're at work, it’s not like you would ever normally need to look good there beyond being presentable, but with how stunning Hongjoong looked even in his causal clothes you suddenly wished you had picked a better outfit.

You made your way behind the counter and Hongjoong turned to you.

“How can I help you?“ you asked, sounding convincingly casual as if you hadn’t just been talking about him mere minutes before. You internally giggled about telling Macy that she had just missed him once again.

Hongjoong’s face was blank at first, then recognition dawned on him.

“Hey, I met you at Gabriel’s party,” he mentioned in an off-hand way. Cool, at least now you know whose house you were at. You didn’t know who Gabriel was.

“Anthony didn’t mention you worked for him.”

“Well, didn’t really have the chance did he.” You point out. At this Hongjoong cracked a faux bashful smile. Even when it was fake it was still beautiful.

“Sorry about that by the way, you know how parties like that get.” He explains in an off-hand way. No, you didn’t know how parties like that get, but you also didn’t know how to tell him that it’s actually just like that for him. Because everyone loves him.

“Well, how can I help you?” You ask, trying to keep him from realizing just how different you are from him. Yeah, you had already accepted that that just wasn’t going to happen, but you still wanted him to like you. It seemed like that was his superpower.

“I need to see Anthony.” He replied,

“Anthonys not here right now, what did you need him for?” You ask.

“I was gonna ask for his help with my hair, normally I do it myself but now that it’s getting longer I think I need professional help.” He winks. Upon closer inspection you can see now that he wasn’t lying, the roots of his dark hair were beginning to show, and although his hair was styled well, you could see the beginnings of damage from the low-quality dye.

“Oh well, he isn’t really taking new clients right now but I’m sure he’d make an exception for his friend, I’ll put you in his books.” You reply, turning to the computer and clicking the mouse to wake it up, leaning over slightly to see the screen better.

“Oh there's no need for that,” he calls, when you look up in confusion Hongjoong is leaning fully onto the counter now, face much closer to yours.

“You can do it.” he replies, with what could almost be called a smirk. You can’t help it, you blush. And what’s worse, your fucking stutter.

“U-um well, I’m busy right now, not many openings.” You murmur, turning back to the computer as you feel your cheeks flush.

“Come on,” Hongjoong all but whines, “even for a friend?” He asks all too innocently, batting his eyes at you. You are a weak, weak woman.

“Well-“ you start, nodding your head while thinking it over. You had one spot today. Right at the end, you had purposely not booked anyone at that time, planning to leave early and maybe treat yourself to the new spa that opened across the street with a bit of the extra money you had earned from covering for Macy. You glanced longingly at the storefront through the window before caving.

“I have an appointment right now but if you want to come back at 3 I have some time then?” You asked.

Hongjoong’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas.

“Great, It’s a date then.”

And just like that, he was gone. The only sign he was ever there was the doorbell quietly tinkling as it closed. You stood there dumbfounded. If this were one of the romantic comedies being made a few miles away right now, or if you still believed in the magic others thought this city had, you would be giggling like a schoolgirl. But this wasn’t a movie, this wasn’t a meet cute, and this most importantly was certainly not a date.

You were still staring blankly at the door when Mrs. Alton walked in.

Your fingers tapped at your phone nervously as you sat in your salon chair. 3 o clock ticked nearer with every second. Your eyes instinctively scanned the room again, as if expecting him to appear suddenly out of thin air. Thank god the door had a bell. The salon was significantly emptier than it had been at 12 today. Many of the other stylists had gone home as it was a Friday and lost like to get out a little early if they could. Like you could be doing right now.

3:05, he was officially late. But it’s ok, most people are at least a little late, it’s not the end of the world.

3:10, still not here, probably just got caught in traffic.

3:19, you were just about to give up and see what the spa could do for you before they closed at 4.

3:23 the doorbell tinkled. Your head whipped up. Hongjoong stood in the doorway, looking around before locking eyes with you and giving your a crooked smile.

“So, ready to get started?”

Not going to lie, you had expected him to be a little more apologetic about making you wait, at the very least a half-hearted excuse. But this was your first lesson on Kim Hongjoong, he came and went as he pleased.

You could only nod.

As you made your way to the wash bowl you suddenly realized you were going to actually have to touch him. In hindsight, of course, you would, but as the man himself settled into the chair, and you helped the chair recline him to position his head comfortably in the bowl and turn on the water you found yourself hesitant to actually touch his hair. You tested the water against your had for temperature.

“Are you ok? You keep frowning.” Hongjoong asked aloud. This snapped you from your spiral of thoughts.

“Yeah sorry, I was supposed to leave early today. Is the water ok?” You mention as off-handedly as you could, adjusting the water temperature one more time before finally wetting his hair. The first time you ran your hand through his cherry locks it was barely a ghost of a touch.

“Oh, I must be special then,” Hongjoong shoots back with a grin, completely ignoring your question. You turn away from his face, deciding there was no reason to torture yourself by looking at him when you had a perfectly good excuse not to. You soaked his hair fully with the sprayer as you responded, less and less hesitant with every touch.

“You know you are,” you say more to yourself than him. You hadn’t meant it to sound the way it did. You were simply pointing out that he must get a lot of favors from friends, but as you looked away from his hair to grab the shampoo you couldn’t avoid the smirk growing on his lips.

You count yourself lucky that he did little more than giggle at your little slip of the tongue. You began to work the shampoo into his hair, bringing it to a lather. You both fell silent after that.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later that you realized just how much dye was leaking from his hair onto your hands.

“What brand of dye do you use?” You ask with a frown, running your hand through his hair again, watching as the water that came out ran pink even after the shampoo. You chance a glance at his face only to see his eyes closed. He looked serene. For a second you thought he had fallen asleep before his mouth moved.

“I don’t know, whatever I can find.” He replied, not opening his eyes. Instead, he adjusted in his seat, resting his head against your hand.

“Your really good at that, feels like nice.” He remarked. You are over this man completely out of your league making you blush. Choosing to ignore his comment entirely you continued.

“Whatever it is, it definitely isn’t good for your hair.” You mumbled.

Eventually, you finished washing his hair and turned off the water. Once again slightly convinced he has fallen asleep until he groaned at the lack of contact.

“Don’t stop yet.” He whined.

“Sorry, gotta get you into the chair.” You reason. Moving your party of two to your station.

About halfway through working on his hair in mostly silence, Hongjoong looked up from his phone.

“So why haven’t I seen you at anything before?” He asked casually watching your concentrated face in the mirror as you applied fresh dye to the roots. The bleaching process had already taken longer than your expected and it was nearing 4:40

“Not really my scene.” You hoped to placate him with your short answer, but Hongjoong who had clearly been getting antsy in the chair was not satisfied.

“Why not?”

“Well, big crowd, even bigger house, it’s easy to feel out of place.” You give a slightly more honest answer.

“Out of place? How?” This piqued his interest, and Hongjoong sat up straighter in the chair. You hesitate, brush in hand staring at the spot you planned to place your cherry red dye thinking it over.

“I don’t know, all those people that go to those things have big dreams of making it big or something, it’s all about networking and being seen being cool than actually having fun.” You try to explain as best you can, especially since Hongjoong was one of those people.

“So your not?” Hongjoong asks.

“Not what?” You shot back, returning to your work. The place was basically empty, with only one other stylist working on a customer on the opposite side of the room.

“Not trying to make it big, don’t have a dream?” He asks, trying to meet your eye in the mirror. You can’t help but sigh at his words.

“I mean, I do have a dream, it’s just not to be famous.” You reply.

“What is it?” He continues to pry. You huff, setting down the brush in the bowl of vibrant color, meeting his gaze in the mirror.

“Just this, I want to be a hairstylist, and a good one. Maybe run my own salon one day, who knows” you trail off.

“Sounds like a good enough dream for me,” he replies with a wink.

You didn’t expect Hongjoong to be satisfied with that answer, but you couldn’t help but smile back at him at his words. If he could see the value same in your job as someone with a dream of being a star then maybe you had the right idea.

“But you're wrong though, about those parties,” he continues, lifting his lightly tattooed arm to tap his temple with a smirk. You chuckled at him. You were finding it easier and easier to talk to him, at the very least it was making time to by faster, and what the hell you can admit it, he’s cute. Not just in a beautiful man kind of way, but also in a quirky and charming way and it was working on you.

“Do tell,” you indulge him with a smile and continue your work.

“Yeah there are people doing that stuff to get head but if you think about it like that then anything can be boring, you gotta have fun with it.” He explains, waving a hand in the air.

“Take this job, for example, you are doing it to be good, to hopefully run a salon day. Which is good, that’s what you want. But can’t you think of anyone who’s just doing it because it’s a job, something to fill their day? In that way, you are kinda like those people at the parties trying to get ahead” Your mind flashes with Macy’s face and you can’t help but chuckle.

“Ok, I guess I see your point.” You say with a smile, applying the last of the dye.

“K, we just have to let that sit for a while then rinse and dry then your good to go.” You say. You glance at him in the mirror only to see him already staring at you with a plotting grin.

“What’s that for?” You ask, apprehensively.

“I’m going to teach you how to enjoy yourself more.” He replies with a smirk.

“He said that! He really said that?” Macy screeched through the FaceTime call. She had initially called you the moment you got back to your apartment to spill about her “date” with Shane, and it took until your dinner was almost made before you had the chance to tell her about what she missed today. Oil popped in the pan as you continued stirring your food. Your phone was propped against your mug. As you looked down at her face you could see her sitting up straight in her plush covers after you told the story.

“Yeah Mace, but don’t make a big deal about it. It’s Hongjoong, he’s probably just bored, he’ll maybe invite me to one party before he gets bored and moves on to the next person if he even remembers at all.” And you meant it, even if he was ridiculously charming and seemed interested at the time, Hongjoong was still Hongjoong.

“I mean yeah your right, it’s weird he even offered in the first place, no offense babe,” she stared,

“None taken,” you reassure, turning off the stove and platting your food.

“But even then, that totally sounds like he’s asking you out and that is sooooo out of character for him!” She shoots back over the phone. This catches you off guard. You hadn’t thought about what Hongjoong’s love life must be but thinking about it now you’d imagine it to be pretty full.

“What do you mean by that?” You ask, taking your phone and plate and moving to the couch to eat and watch some TV. You crossed your small apartment and landed on your second-hand couch with a huff before kicking your feet up on the coffee table.

“I mean, that Hongjoong hasn’t dated anyone in years as far as I know. I’ve heard he’s had causal hookups and stuff but nothing seriou- Holy shit! Do you think he’s just trying to hook up with you?” She shrieks. You had just taken a bite of food and almost choke as those words fell past her lips.

“What? No! Mace, I don’t even think it’s a date! He probably just said it because he felt sorry for me or something but it’s not like I need it. In fact, I can almost promise I will probably never see him again.”

And as if by the divine intervention itself your phone dinged with a text message.

[unknown number]

Hey, this is Hongjoong, I got your number from Anthony, I hope you don’t mind.

7:02pm

It must have shown on your face.

“Oh my God that’s him isn’t it.”

You sigh.

“Goodbye, Macy!” You say loudly stopping her from continuing to explode on you.

“Bye, babe! Tell me what he says!”

Then your phone clicked to silence. Another message pinged.

[unknown number]

So I was thinking, I have just the thing I want to do with you. Are you free tomorrow?

7:04

You frowned. Working on weekends wasn’t required by any means. But this city was face paced. Even something like being a hairstylist was fast passed, if you wanted to achieve your goal you would have to put in the time. In fact, it never seemed like you had enough. But nevertheless, you did have work tomorrow, in the morning only, but you would be exhausted, and you already knew you wouldn’t feel like going out. But even then, you found yourself giving in to Hongjoong, he seemed worth wasting time on.

[you]

I have work in the morning but I guess I have time after.

7:05

You took the time to put his name on your phone.

[Hongjoong]

Great, what I have planned would work better at sunset.

7:05

You can’t help but roll your eyes at how Macy would react if she found out he wants to take you somewhere at sunset. That might be a detail you have to keep to yourself.

[you]

Ok, what time then?

7:05

You forced yourself to put your phone down and take another bite, turning on the TV and loading up your Netflix account.

Ping

[Hongjoong]

I’ll pick you up at 5

This time you had a warning, time to prepare. When you texted him your address you had asked what it is you were doing this morning all he had sent back was a winking emoji. You expect some kind of party seeing as how he had extolled their virtues before, but even if it wasn’t you were determined to look good.

But you didn’t want to look like you had dressed up for him either. Even though you totally had. It was a fine line to walk. You were happy with your ensemble though. And now the waiting game. And of course, he was late again. You kind of expected it this time, however. That doesn’t mean the extra minutes in his absence didn’t let you ponder the idea of not going out at all, your couch was awfully comfortable at the moment.

When he eventually texted you he was outside you made your way out the door. There was a black Honda Civic parked out front, and a head of freshly dyed cherry hair looking out the rolled-down windows. You were almost surprised it wasn’t something more fancy considering who was driving it but you had to remind yourself, that he hadn’t made it, yet.

He got out of the car when he saw you, greeting you with a smile before opening your door. This was starting to feel suspiciously like a date, but as if determined to prove Macy wrong you forgot to thank him.

As he pulled open his own door and sat down with a grin he turned to you.

“Sorry I was late, I was working on some new stuff.” He explained. This time offering an explanation.

“Is that what happened yesterday? Working on new music?” The words leave your mouth before you could stop them and you almost apologize before he laughs.

“Who told you I work with music?” He asks, leaning over slightly as if to whisper but he spoke at full volume. You realized your mistake. Great, now he knows you asked about him. You almost stutter a reply but he only raises a hand to wave it off.

“It’s ok, I did a little research about you too.” He shoots back turning the car on and beginning to drive with a smirk. This catches you off guard.

“Ok, what did you find out.”

“That you're an LA native, that’s great by the way, I think that’s going to make this even better.”

During the drive, Hongjoong is keeping a casual conversation. Of course, he is as sharp-witted and engaging as always, but you can tell whatever it is he has planned is occupying most of his mind.

“So do you always work that much before appointments?” You ask, trying to keep the conversation lit.

At that Hongjoong chuckles, though a bit exasperated.

“I guess yeah, feel like I’m always working, not enough hours in the day.” He sighs but keeps on smiling.

“Really? I thought you were all ‘you got to enjoy life’” you reply, realizing as you look out that he’s taking you into Hollywood.

“I am, don’t get me wrong. But hey, that’s life, you got to make the most of it in every way you can. To me, that means to play hard but work even harder to make up for it.” Hongjoong speaks these words resolutely, you can tell these are the words he lives by and you store them away in your mind. You can tell they are going to nag at your brain later tonight.

It has already been bothering you how much time you’ve been giving Hongjoong, time you could be using to work, or on yourself. But here you are, using your precious hours with him. Why you don’t quite know yet.

“We're here,” Hongjoong announces.

It only took a glance out the front windshield to know where he had taken you. Around you was a parking garage most filled but through the gaps in the concrete, you could see what was waiting outside.

“You took an LA native to Hollywood Boulevard? You ask, whipping your head to look at him incredulously. He was already watching you with the faintest hint of a smile.

“Come on, when’s the last time you’ve actually been out here, seen this part of town?” Hongjoong prodded, clicking open his door and standing up from the car. You pushed open your own door.

Hongjoong looked oddly giddy standing at the end of the car. Shifting his weight from foot to foot as you pushed the door closed and turned to face him.

“Ok, if we’re doing this is we’re doing it right.” You reply, standing up straight as if to accept the challenge. Hongjoong’s grin that hadn’t left his face since you arrived only widened.

“That's exactly what I wanted to hear.”

Hongjoong spun on his heel and began walking to the elevator. You take several large steps to keep up with him before coming into step next to him.

“So what is it that you want to see out here?” You ask. If he hadn’t been here before then your sure he at least had something in mind.

“As much as we can” he shoots back, approaching the elevator and smashing the down button.

The two of you made your way up and down Hollywood Blv, as the sun fell lower and lower in the sky. It was of course packed. People from all over both dressed to the nines or in what could only be described as hiking clothes swarmed around you guys as you followed the flow of people. Flashing signs and creative graffiti littered the streets, and Hongjoong often stopped to photograph his favorite ones.

Every once and a while Hongjoong would point things out to you. Of course, you had been there before, many times in fact, but Hongjoong’s eagerness was beginning to rub off on you. As the minutes ticked on you couldn’t help but feed off his energy, becoming just as excited to point out a clothing store you loved or funny bumper stickers on cars. You each dragged each other into the shops that piqued your interests and pointed out restaurants you’d like to try one day.

Hongjoong had been particularly keen to stop at an ice cream shop he heard was the absolute best in the area. Hongjoong’s hand grasped your arm, lopping his through yours before pulling you inside. Cold air blasted you as you stepped through the threshold, a welcome comfort from the LA heat outside.

The interior was decked out, trendy decor and bubbly signs welcomed you as you made your way to the counter. One thing both you and Hongjoong seemed to have in common was people watching. You liked to guess where the families on vacation were from based on their clothes or how the group of rowdy boys in line ahead of you met based on their words. It was slowly becoming a little game of yours.

You wouldn’t call it eves dropping, not when the boys were speaking so loud they could easily be heard from where you stood behind them, but just as you leaned over to point out that one of them was wearing a shirt from a local college when you heard a snip of their conversation.

“Dude that chick behind us is kind of cute right?” One of them nudged another. He lowered his voice, but definitely not enough. The one he nudged attempted a casual look over the shoulder before responding.

“She’s with her boyfriend bro just leave it alone.” He replied.

At first, you were slightly impressed by the initiative taken by the second boy to not bother a lady in public, but then the first part of his sentence rang in your ear. Boyfriend. You looked down and noticed that your arm was still looped around Hongjoong’s even as he looked aimlessly around the room, he kept you locked to his side.

Your face flushed when you looked away from Hongjoong. His side profile was gorgeous, all sharp and angled, but his eyes were round as he took in the room with a curious expression.

“Do you think that’s real?” He asked aloud suddenly. When you turned to follow his gaze he was staring at the back wall of the shop, covered in succulents attached to the wall.

“I doubt it, probably too much upkeep.” Your reason, but the heat was still rising in your cheeks and you slowly slipped your arm from his. He didn’t mention your slight side step away from his side, nor the way your head turned away from him as if to look around the room in interest as well.

“I’ll bet you five bucks it’s real,” Hongjoong replied and you could hear the smirk in his voice.

“You’re on.”

Ice cream in hand and down an extra five dollars you both pushed out of the shop. The sun was getting lower and lower in the sky. Hongjoong was leading again, walking against the flow of people towards the Hollywood walk of fame.

When you reached it there were still quite a lot of people wandering around, but the sea of people had dispersed some. The sun was hanging low on the horizon, the sky lit up with bright reds and oranges, and the cloud turned pink in the late afternoon light. The first cool breeze of evening air tickled your skin as you began your walk down the path.

“Ok I admit it, this has been pretty fun, if not a little touristy.” You joke as you inspect the names of the stars beneath your feet.

“I never understood how people can live in such cool places, but refuse to ever come and see the things people travel to visit. Seems like a waste to me.” Hongjoong mused, stopping at Meryl Streeps star and looking out to the sunset

Hongjoong was glowing in the golden light. The cherry strands of hair almost looked like wisps of fire as they blew gently in the wind and caught the light. Your heart clenched at the sight but you pushed those thoughts away.

“Where are you from then?” You ask. At these words, Hongjoong looks at you in mild confusion.

“I’m from LA.” Was all he said, as though he expected you to already know. You were taken aback, all day you thought he had been seeing things for the first time. If he had been here before it was amazing how much love he still had for the place.

“Oh, I didn’t know.” You stammered, unnecessarily embarrassed.

“Well, technically I was born in Korea, but I don’t remember it much, I’ve lived here most of my life.” He explains starting to walk again. You follow a few paces behind, just watching his back as he maneuvers gracefully through the crowd. Even these people who didn’t know who he was seemed to part for him to walk through.

After a moment, Hongjoong realizes you're lagging behind and turns to face you. The sun is just barely peaking above the horizon now and it casts a halo of golden sun around his head. Hongjoong reaches out a hand and takes yours firmly in its grip.

“Come on, try to keep up” he shoots with a wink.

“Yeah, that was a date.” Macy mused, working product through the hair of her client.

“Sounds like a date to me,” the older lady in her chair agreed. Macy's station was next to yours. As you both worked on clients through that Monday Macy had been mildly pestering you about what had happened, eventually closer to the end of the day, you finally gave her a few details just to get her to stop asking.

The old lady in her chair had been actively listening, offering her thoughts and wisdom that came with age. Your own client, the old lady’s husband couldn’t seem less interested in the conversation happening between his wife and the two stylists. The couple are regulars for you and Macy. She liked to talk, so she went with Macy, and he liked to sit quietly and get his hair trimmed so he sat with you. At least once a month this was the routine.

And this was the conclusion that they came to, even without the sunset detail.

“I don’t know, I don’t really know what I expected going into that but Hongjoong is a lot different than I would have imagined. You made him seem like some wanna-be celebrity. The more we talked the more he seemed like just some guy.”

That was the understatement of a century on your part. Hongjoong was an intelligent, hard-working, and creative individual, who enjoyed far more of the little things in life than the average person. Not to mention the most attractive man you’ve ever met. Definitely not just some guy, but your point still stands, practically every time you’ve seen Hongjoong so far he has surprised you.

“So what did it not go well? Did you not have a good time?” Macy prods, continuing to style her client's hair. You had finished with her husband, but there was still some time in his slot and he enjoyed sitting next to her and you didn’t mind.

“I had fun, but what I’m trying to say is that I don’t know him that well, it seems early to call it a date. Besides if it was one, wouldn’t he have just said it?” you try to reason.

“She’s hopeless.” The old lady mused, waving a wrinkled hand in the air.

“You're telling me,” Macy agreed, putting the finishing touches on her hair.

“So he told you he wants to hang out again right?” Macy inquired after the couple had left.

“Yeah but not in a concrete way, more like a causal suggestion. Like I said before, he probably will just move on to the next person.” Your reason. The thought made you sad, you really had enjoyed spending time with him. But Hongjoong knew a lot of interesting people, it wouldn’t surprise you if he forgot about you in a week.

Macy watched your face and read your expression like a book, a knowing smile taking over her face.

“Who knows, maybe this is the start of your life as a somebody.” She giggled.

As it turns out, it seems like you were right, it had already been two weeks and you heard nothing from him. Not that you had been expecting to, but it still made you a little upset.

In fact, you were a little peeved. Sure you know you're probably nowhere near the most interesting person in his contacts, but not even a single text from the man in that amount of time felt a little like the cold shoulder.

Ok maybe you were being petty, you could admit that, but you began asking around about him, specifically looking for anything to hate him over. You didn't have a huge amount of friends, especially not close ones which were basically limited to just Macy and Anthony, but you had the numbers of a few of the people in their circles so you messaged them all with one purpose. Dirt on Kim Hongjoong.

The problem arose when no one seemed to have an ill word to say about him. Everyone glowed about him, about his talent as a songwriter, about his exceptional style, about how everyone says he's the best. But you noticed something strange in your endeavors, it seemed like no one was actually that close to him. Not one person could name a single interest of his outside of producing or maybe drinking. The more you looked into his life, the less you found. It seemed he also had a knack for keeping everyone at a distance.

And it had to be on purpose because from what you saw at this "Gabriel's" party, he always had people around, people dying to know more. But from what you could tell he just wasn't talking.

People were curious why you wanted to know so much about him, and it's not like you could just come out and say you were looking for a reason to not like him, but to your surprise, an excuse about a shy friend who happened to be into him (certainly not you) revealed an interesting tidbit that may have given you a reason.

A friend of Anthony, Keller, had said,

"tell her to not bother. Hongjoong is a great guy but he really doesn't want to waste his time with people who aren't worth it."

This set alarm bells ringing, but since your a sadist you chose to pry even more. Keller gave you the following words of advice to tell your friend, totally not you.

"Don't get me wrong, Hongjoongs a people person. But too many people who want to get to know him, he's allowed to be selective with his friends."

From what you can tell, 'selective' meant completely turning people away. But you took that and ran with it. And the more people you asked, the more this pattern appeared. Hongjoong was too good for everyone else, at least in their opinion. And by extension too good for you.

So yeah, you're in a bad mood.

Your life went back to being remarkably routine, more so than it had been before Hongjoong if that was even possible. That probably wasn’t true, it just felt like it after those two days you spoke to him.

That was the fact you kept reminding yourself. It was only been two days, you really can’t expect to become best friends with someone after two days. Maybe you had thought Hongjoong had just as good a time with you as you had with him, but maybe you were just too boring, or too different. Whatever, it’s over and done with. Back to life.

Almost every day you woke up by 8 o clock and were out the door by 8:30. Sometimes you stopped for coffee or a smoothie on the way to work to spice up your morning. You worked client after client each day. Both Saturdays so far Macy has called in with a major hangover, and her extra clients had taken up the time you would be using to wallow in your thoughts.

You once again had no reason to dress up, no reason to leave your house for much else than work and the occasional trip to the grocery store. You had already finished 3 whole seasons of Downton Abbey in your little free time.

So yeah, back to life.

On Sunday Anthony took pity on you and insisted you join him for a drink at a small local bar after work.

You could be a heavy drinker when you wanted to be. But work had kept you from indulging, even now tomorrow was another early morning so you were scheming a way to get home and into bed soon.

Ping

[Hongjoong]

You busy tonight?

8:21

“Who’s that from,” Anthony asked, leaning over the booth to peak at your phone, already a few drinks in and getting nosy.

You quickly pull your phone away from his gaze and shoot him a stern glare.

“None of your damn business.” You grumble sipping your drink. But the text had already worked wonders on your mood. Maybe all those people were wrong, Hongjoong wasn't keeping people away, he was just busy. You couldn’t stop smiling as you typed out your response.

[you]

Yeah, I’m free, what’s up?

8:21

If you had taken a single moment to self-reflect it would have been ironic how quickly you agreed to ditch your friend when he had to drag you kicking and screaming out in the first place. Ping.

[Hongjoong]

Great, I’ll pick you up at 10

8:22

Now your lips were stretching into a full smile.

“Now seriously, tell me who that is.” Anthony tried again, reaching out to try and swipe your phone but you pocketed it before he had the chance. Downing your drink, you stood up.

“I got to go, Anthony, thanks for inviting me out.” You explain already gathering your things.

“Wait what? You're leaving already? What about the night out?” He asked like a child about to throw a tantrum.

“You know me, Anthony, have I ever been the type to enjoy a night out?” You ask, already walking to the door. Oh, how ironic.

By the time you got home, you already had an outfit planned in your head and ran to your room to put it together. Hongjoong was artistic so you thought he might enjoy the old white converse from high school covered in doodles. At the very least he would notice them right?

He hadn’t mentioned food, in fact, he hadn’t mentioned anything, so you made yourself a quick snack and were already planning how late you could stay out without being too exhausted tomorrow while you munch.

By the time 10 o clock rolled around you expected him to be late, but you were still waiting on the couch, dressed ready to go with shoes on and a purse slung around your shoulder.

By 10:30 you had started pacing by the window. Watching for the familiar black Honda Civic to roll into place.

At 11 you considered sending a text, but the desire to stay aloof was winning.

At 11:30 you finally caved.

[you]

Hey, you almost here?

11:33

No response. Dread had been building in you for the past hour. Slowly eating away at your confidence, the more you looked the more you hated your outfit, and the longer you waited the more sure you were he wasn’t going to come. But still, because you are a fool you stayed sat on the couch with season 4 of Downton Abbey playing on the screen in front of you. You were barely watching. The characters were moving around from scene to scene surely providing you with top-notch entertainment if you had bothered to pay attention. Instead, you chose to continually check your phone every minute until midnight in case a text magically appeared.

On the wall next to you was a large mirror, just in the right position to see your own face out of the corner of your eyes every time the blue light lit up your face.

Dread turned into anger. You could have had a perfectly good night at the bar with your friends exchanging customer horror stories and already be in bed by now. Instead, you were sitting in the middle of a dark and empty room glaring at the TV. Ping.

You practically threw your phone in your attempt to pick it up the second the noise sounded. Yeah, you felt just a little pathetic at how quickly your mood soared at the sound.

[Hongjoong]

Sorry, can’t make it. Working.

12:25

Your heart sank twice as deep as it just rose. Once again you berated yourself for being so hung up on a man so far out of your league. You forced yourself to remember the things others said about him. Kim Hongjoong, he’s gonna be big, always moving, always working, and loved by everyone. No, his time is precious. He doesn’t need to waste time with you.

You were down the next two days. Anthony didn’t mention it, as long as you got your work done who was he to complain? If he noticed that your bad mood started on that night that you left early she hadn’t asked. Macy on the underhand couldn’t let anything go.

The two of you paced through a clothing store, the kind too expensive for you to buy but you enjoyed browsing as much as she enjoyed buying. You flipped through the racks, occasionally pulling out a shirt that captured your fancy before returning it to the rack. This was the type of store that played bass-filled music far too loud to have a normal conversation, but Macy stopped for no one.

“So Shane and I broke up,” Macy spoke, voice raised over the music, you severely doubted that they were ever actually together but you weren’t about to bring that up now.

“Oh, Mace I’m sorry.” You started to console.

“Oh no, don’t worry I’m fine. I’ve already found someone better!” She sings songs at you. You can’t help but sigh as she continues shopping. Always the same with her, no matter how much you loved her, or how much you wanted to help, she never took your advice. And maybe you were a bit salty she was able to get over it so quickly but that is something you will keep to yourself. But your frown was there all the same.

“Doesn’t this just make you feel so much better” she mused, picking out a sequin dress and laying over her arm with her growing pile of clothes to try on.

“For the last time Mace I’m fine.” You grumble, flipping past an electric green shirt, back hunched slightly to better see the clothes in front of you.

“Whatever you say, babe, just let me know when you're out of your funk. It'll be nice to talk to my friend again.” She sighed.

Several hours and several stores later Macy was hauling several large bags back to your car. You loaded hers, as well as your single bag into your trunk to drive her home.

As you drove the sun was setting, and you purposely ignored the ways the colors lit up the sky and the way the palms blew in the breeze.

“Hey just so you know I told Anthony you would cover for me tomorrow afternoon,” Macy spoke up halfway back to her home. You approached a stop light and her words shocked you just enough to hit the breaks a bit harder than necessary. You heard the backs moving in the back and the huff Macy let out, her back hair falling in her face.

“What the hell?“ she asked quietly, adjusting her hair.

“Macy, you can’t keep ditching every time you feel like it.” You shoot back coldly. Maybe it was the timing, maybe it was that she didn’t ask, or maybe it was just your bad fucking mood, but you didn’t care. Macy whined in response.

“You said you don’t mind covering for me!” She pleaded. You sigh, rubbing your furrowed brow in frustration.

“Listen, Macy, it isn’t that I mind covering for you, it’s that it’s becoming more and more frequent. Aren’t you worried about losing your job?” You argued, agitation still dripping into your voice. At that Macy giggled, fucking giggled.

“Oh no, I’m not worried about that. Besides you like having the extra money right?” Macy brushed your words aside, flipping the mirror down and reapplying her lip gloss.

You stared at her in a mix of amazement and furry. Shaking your head you tried to evaluate your emotions. You had told her it was ok. And it was her life, you really needed to stop trying so hard to help hers when clearly she thought she didn’t need it. With a huff, you shook your head and turned to stare at the light till it turned green. Either way, you were allowed to secretly think her life was going to end up a mess.

You dropped Macy off and had just begun your drive home when a text pinged on your phone. You knew better than to text and drive but figuring it was just Macy saying she forgot something at the next light you peek at your phone, completely unprepared for the massage illuminating your screen.

[Hongjoong]

I’m picking you up tomorrow at 1