salemwitchezz
salemwitchezz
twilight gives me an inner sanctity.
★彡 lexa 彡★17 • she/her • infp • requests are CLOSED!
salemwitchezz · a day ago
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promises - jean kirstein
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this was a request i received on my old account! i’m posting here since that one was decatived a while ago! if you recognize this just know that it was not copied, only transferred from one blog to another. hope you enjoy <3 (the blog was from a few months ago)
warnings: season 3 spoilers, mentions of death, blood, and angst lol
word count: 1, 716
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Jean felt like he was going to be sick.
He couldn’t think straight, the ringing in his ears rendering it impossible for him to regain his composure.
The last he remembered, you were with Hange and the rest of your squad fending off as many titans as you possibly could.
He was adamant that you would make it back to him, knowing your strength and agility rivaled that of the Captain, and how effortlessly you danced across the battlefield, taking your opponents down as if they were nothing.
Now, he wasn’t so sure, considering the events that took place only moments before.
He wasn’t ready. Wasn’t ready to welcome the idea that he may be walking out of this mission without his lover. Without you.
Knowing that jumping to the worst conclusion was unwise to do in a situation like this, he did his best to shake those thoughts away. Hoping and praying that if there was truly a God above, they would bring you back to him.
He knew that you had promised to return to him, that you would always be there for him by his side, but he also knew that some promises are meant to be broken.
“Jean?” You mumbled into his chest.
“Yea?”
“I want you to know that I’m always going to be here for you no matter what. There’s nothing out there that can take us away from eachother.”
“I promise.” You said.
“I know, I’m just worried… I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.” He muttered quietly.
“Don’t talk like that, you aren’t gonna lose me, I can guarantee it.”
“We’re both capable of handling ourselves, so there’s no need to worry.” You said in a comforting tone.
“You’re right. I love you more than anything Y/N.”
“Now get to sleep, we need to be well rested for tomorrow.” He replied, placing a kiss on your forehead.
“I love you too Jean.” You quietly said, falling into a deep sleep.
Snapping out of the memory from only hours before, he finally came back to his senses.
He could see that there were two figures to his left, screaming incoherent words his way, but no matter how hard he strained his ears, the only thing he could focus on was the constant thumping of his heart.
“What?” He mumbled. “I can’t hear you.”
Feeling a pair of hands on his shoulders, shaking him, he brought his eyes up to meet a pair of hazel ones.
“Connie.” Jean whispered.
“Yes Jean it’s me! Come on we have to go… We don’t have time for this, there’s still the armoured titan to take down.” Connie frantically said.
“Where’s Y/N?” Jean wavered.
“I don’t know, but we can worry about that after! There’s more important things to worry about right now.. I’m sorry.”
Jean knew that he shouldn’t be worrying about you right now, but it was too hard not to. He couldn’t bear to lose the person who meant the world to him. He just couldn’t.
But, he also knew that endangering his comrades for his own sake, was a cowardly thing to do.
Pushing aside the racing thoughts he had of you, he pulled himself together.
Noticing that Reiner was crouching low to the ground seemingly unoccupied, Jean attentively listened as his squad members revised their plan for attack.
As his squad members began to disperse around him, he stayed back for a moment, trying his hardest to calm his raging nerves.
Feeling a hand being placed on his shoulder, he turned to see that it was Mikasa.
“I know you’re worried about her, but she’ll be okay, she’s strong.” She said, and with that she was off.
Hoping that she was right, he shot across the top of the houses below him, placing himself in proper position, and awaiting the signal for their attack.
As the moments went by with no signal, he began to notice his hands shaking in the grasp of the thunder spears.
He desperately wanted to cry, to let out all his sadness and anger right at that moment, but he knew he couldn’t.
He knew that you would be disappointed in him, for letting his composure fall and allowing himself to be vulnerable during the time where everyone was relying on him.
That was the last thing he wanted to do, let you down, and let his friends down.
They had lost so many in the events leading up to this moment, and to lose any more because of his foolishness, was something he couldn’t even bare the thought of.
Hearing shouts comfirming that the signal had been given, he sprung out of his hiding spot and shot towards the armoured beast.
Swinging his arms around, and shooting the spears towards their required destination, he hoped that their efforts would be victorious.
Only they weren’t. All their efforts had been in vain.
Sasha had missed and Reiners jaw was still in tact.
It was up to Mikasa now. She had to find them a way out of this or they were screwed.
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Groaning in pain as you awoke, you noticed that you were lying on top of something, or more specifically someone.
As you tried to open your eye, you felt an excruciating pain shoot through the left side of your head.
Bringing your hand up to your left eye you felt a sticky substance, hissing as your hand made contact with the wound.
It was blood. You had lost your left eye.
Not knowing how to react to this newfound discovery, you began to panic.
As your breathing picked up and tears started running down your face, you felt a hand grab your shaking ones.
It was your squad leader Hange.
“It’s okay Y/N. Calm down, you’ll be okay.” She soothed.
Trying your hardest to regain some composure, you realized that you were still infact on top of her, and quickly scrambled to your feet.
Reaching your hand out to help her to her feet, you quickly embraced her in a hug relieved that at least one of your squad members was still alive.
“We have to get out of here, i’m sure the others need help.” You concluded.
Hange nodded in agreement as you both began claiming your way to the top of the well walls.
Reaching the top first and swinging yourself over, you reached behind yourself to lend a hand to Hange, who seemed to be struggling.
“Thank you.” She huffed out.
“No problem, but we need to get to higher ground and find the others.” You said.
Not giving her a change to respond you attached your gear to the top of a building and began your ascent hoping that Hange was following close behind you.
Reaching the roof of the building, you were happy to see that she was close behind you.
Now that you were on higher ground, you quickly analyzed everything that was going on around you.
Seeing that the armoured titan was being perused by your comrades, you wanted to come to their in case anything went wrong but your squad leaders voice halted your movements.
“Wait Y/N, now is not the time to engage.”
“They have it handled, we’re only supposed to interfere in the worst case.” She said.
Nodding you stepped back and prayed that nothing would go south.
Watching as the thunder spears hit their desired spots, you noticed that Reiners jaw was in fact not hanging open as it should’ve been.
Someone had missed.
‘Shit.’ you said internally. ‘I have to go help them.’
Without a second thought, with the remaining thunderspears in your hand, you began flying in the direction of the beast, Hange following closely behind.
With a loud cry of fury, you launched your spears into the jaw of your opponent.
“Y/N!” Mikasa cried out.
“Now’s your chance, Mikasa!” You screamed, landing on the roof beside Sasha, Connie, and Jean.
Without missing a beat, Mikasa landed inside Reiners mouth, and shot her thunderspear to the front of his nape.
As the spear exploded, the titan fell to the ground, and you let out a sigh of relief.
You had succeeded.
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Jean was in shock. Not only had you swooped in to save the day, but you were alive.
Making his way towards you, he quickly scanned over your body for any injuries.
Noticing the blood leaking from your left eye, he brought his hand up to your cheek.
“Are you alright?” He said, voice cracking.
“I’m alright, just a few bumps and bruises but nothing that I can’t handle.” You replied.
“But you’re alive? You made it back to us, to me.”
“Of course Jean, I thought I promised you thought already?”
Sighing in relief, he wasted no more time and brought you into a hug.
You hadn’t broken your promise. You were alive, and you came back to him just like you said you would.
He knew that the remaining few of you should start regrouping and looking for survivors, but you were home in his arms, and he wasn’t going to waste a few extra moments holding you.
“Jean.” you mumbled into his chest. “We have to go. The others are waiting.”
“I know, just a few more seconds like this. Please.” He quietly said.
“Ok, a couple more seconds.”
“I love you so much Y/N. I’m so glad you came back to me.” He whispered into your hair.
“I love you too Jean, you mean everything to me. I could never leave you.” You responded.
Pulling out of the hug, he smiled towards you, grabbing your hand and squeezing it.
“Come on, let’s go find the others.”
Nodding, he attached his gear to the surrounding buildings, and followed you towards the remainder of the scouts.
Letting the wind blow through his hair as he flew through the air, listening to the whistling of the wind in his ears, he felt at peace. Not from the battle that had just occurred, but because you both had once again survived another difficult chapter of your lives.
Thanking whoever was out there, that they had brought you back to him, he smiled contentedly, knowing that this one wasn’t meant to be broken.
It was yours. Your promise.
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salemwitchezz · 9 days ago
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So proud of my mother for doing her own research after I sent her that meme. A sign she hung in her car window.
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salemwitchezz · 17 days ago
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i’m one of those witches ig
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· NaN seconds ago
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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#31 in angst with mammon
pairing: mammon x gn!reader
prompt: 31- “you tried killing me! how am i supposed to get over that?!” (angst)
a/n: can’t believe you requested this shit right after his birthday too :,)
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he didn’t mean to.
you and him were supposed to be spending the night in his room, binge watching one of your favorite television shows when the two of you just casually fell asleep in the middle of it.
everything was fine, until you woke with a jump to a thrashing mammon by your side. he was whimpering, whispering incoherent nonsense in his sleep. he must have been having a nightmare.
you went to wake the demon up, but as soon as you gripped his arm, he shot up— knocking you back in a laying position. and you didn’t have any time to try and get up or speak to him, because he was on top of you…
wrapping his hands around your throat.
you gasped sharply upon feeling the new pressure squeezing your windpipe mercilessly, and your first reaction was to thrash around frantically try to grab at him to try and do something that would make him stop.
“m-mammon..!” you rasped, trying to pull him out of his nightmare when you realized he was still asleep.
you noticed that mammon’s wings had protruded from his back, the white lines of his demon form coming to trace his body and glow with hostility. his eyes were hooded, pupils dilated and glazed over with sleep.
you continued to gasp for air as your vision begun to get blurry, your nails scratching at his skin, creating irritated red trails in their path. but he didn’t wake up, no matter what you tried.
you could feel your head grow hazy from the lack of air, and hot tears started to spill over and down your face.
a pact mark on your body was burning into your skin, you didn’t know which one it was— but you were calling for someone out of impulse, it didn’t matter who, just as long as you could breath again.
suddenly, you felt the grip around your throat loosen, and you gasped desperately, the feeling of relief washing over you as you felt oxygen filling your lungs once again.
you gulped, taking in deep breaths as you looked up warily at mammon whilst cupping your throat gently.
you could see the way his eyes widened with horror as he realized the situation, and he quickly scurried off of you.
you cautiously sat up, eyes trailing down to his hip where his pact mark glowed yellow. that must have been what woke him up, and that must have been the pact mark you felt.
because the first demon you would instinctively call— was him.
you made eye contact with mammon, recognizing the pained look in his eyes as tears spilled down his cheeks. he looked just as scared and shocked as you were, so much so that he didn’t even know what to say— because his mouth hung open, but no words came out.
all he could do was try to reach a hand out to you, but you involuntarily flinched away from him, and you could see how his heart shattered.
it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t mean to. yet, you were still scared.
“y/n..” mammon croaked, “i’m.. please.” his eyes were silently begging you, begging you to not be scared, to stay with him so he could fix this.
but you didn’t, because even if your mind was telling you to comfort him and tell him it was okay, your body moved and dashed out of the room. as soon as you were in the hallway, you fell against the wall and let out the first sob of that night.
you hadn’t even talked to him. you wouldn’t go near him after the incident in his bedroom.
mammon didn’t blame you, he couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror knowing it was his own hands that put you in harm’s way. he couldn’t unsee the look of fear you had in your eyes that night, he wanted to vomit.
he was disgusted with himself— he was supposed to be your protecter! not the one you were being protected from.
he knew he could never forgive himself, but he just hoped you knew that he would never intentionally hurt you. but what was the use in knowing that? he still hurt you, and there was no taking it back.
as the days went on, mammon grew restless. he wanted to talk to you, but he wasn’t sure if he should. maybe he should just let you approach him, maybe he shouldn’t push it and make it even worse.
but he was starting to get desperate, he missed you, so he couldn’t restrain himself from calling your name at the opportune moment while you were heading down the hallway after dinner.
you turned around, slightly surprised. “yes?”
mammon gulped, “listen.. i know why your avoiding me. and.. and i don’t blame ya. but, i was wonderin’ if we could talk.”
you were quiet, he could see the way you hesitated before sighing, “maybe another time, i’m really tired.”
mammon’s heart dropped, “please.. i won’t bother ya anymore. i just want to talk.”
you shook your head, looking stiff and uncomfortable, and mammon wanted to hit himself for making you feel like this around him.
“i don’t really want to right now, mammon, goodnight.” you said quickly, but as you went to turn away, mammon shot forward and grabbed your arm.
“listen to me, y/n!” he pleaded. he could see the frightened look in your eyes, and he could feel his own start to well up with tears when he realized he was probably making this worse. “ya know i didn’t mean it! i didn’t mean to hurt ya! i’m sorry! why can’t ya just get over it and let me make it up to—“
“you tried killing me! how am i supposed to get over that?!” you cried, and the hallway went quiet.
you could practically hear mammon’s heart breaking in the silence, and you felt horrible as you witnessed it. you didn’t mean to say it like that, you had panicked.
mammon shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks, ripping his hand away from your arm. “no.. y/n, you know i didn’t mean to.”
you didn’t know when you started crying, but you had. “i know.. i know you didn’t, mammon.” you sniffled, “i just.. i can’t not think about it. it’s there.. and..” you paused, the image of mammon on top of you with his hands squeezing your throat making your stomach churn. you shivered.
“just give me some time, okay?”
even though he didn’t want to, mammon had no other choice but to begrudgingly nod with glossy eyes.
he understood. if that’s what you wanted, he would give you as much time as you needed— as long as it meant you would come back to him.
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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LMAO
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I couldn't find this ask for the life of me but I'm glad I have a screenshot, and I just wanna say I thought about it for like a week straight and kept laughing every time
You don't understand how quickly I'd lose my shit if Barb just said 'penis' out of nowhere I'd immediately need to sit down. It's not even because of what he's saying, but the fact that it's HIM and I'm convinced that any unhinged thing he says when it's quiet would end me
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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#31 in angst with mammon
pairing: mammon x gn!reader
prompt: 31- “you tried killing me! how am i supposed to get over that?!” (angst)
a/n: can’t believe you requested this shit right after his birthday too :,)
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he didn’t mean to.
you and him were supposed to be spending the night in his room, binge watching one of your favorite television shows when the two of you just casually fell asleep in the middle of it.
everything was fine, until you woke with a jump to a thrashing mammon by your side. he was whimpering, whispering incoherent nonsense in his sleep. he must have been having a nightmare.
you went to wake the demon up, but as soon as you gripped his arm, he shot up— knocking you back in a laying position. and you didn’t have any time to try and get up or speak to him, because he was on top of you…
wrapping his hands around your throat.
you gasped sharply upon feeling the new pressure squeezing your windpipe mercilessly, and your first reaction was to thrash around frantically try to grab at him to try and do something that would make him stop.
“m-mammon..!” you rasped, trying to pull him out of his nightmare when you realized he was still asleep.
you noticed that mammon’s wings had protruded from his back, the white lines of his demon form coming to trace his body and glow with hostility. his eyes were hooded, pupils dilated and glazed over with sleep.
you continued to gasp for air as your vision begun to get blurry, your nails scratching at his skin, creating irritated red trails in their path. but he didn’t wake up, no matter what you tried.
you could feel your head grow hazy from the lack of air, and hot tears started to spill over and down your face.
a pact mark on your body was burning into your skin, you didn’t know which one it was— but you were calling for someone out of impulse, it didn’t matter who, just as long as you could breath again.
suddenly, you felt the grip around your throat loosen, and you gasped desperately, the feeling of relief washing over you as you felt oxygen filling your lungs once again.
you gulped, taking in deep breaths as you looked up warily at mammon whilst cupping your throat gently.
you could see the way his eyes widened with horror as he realized the situation, and he quickly scurried off of you.
you cautiously sat up, eyes trailing down to his hip where his pact mark glowed yellow. that must have been what woke him up, and that must have been the pact mark you felt.
because the first demon you would instinctively call— was him.
you made eye contact with mammon, recognizing the pained look in his eyes as tears spilled down his cheeks. he looked just as scared and shocked as you were, so much so that he didn’t even know what to say— because his mouth hung open, but no words came out.
all he could do was try to reach a hand out to you, but you involuntarily flinched away from him, and you could see how his heart shattered.
it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t mean to. yet, you were still scared.
“y/n..” mammon croaked, “i’m.. please.” his eyes were silently begging you, begging you to not be scared, to stay with him so he could fix this.
but you didn’t, because even if your mind was telling you to comfort him and tell him it was okay, your body moved and dashed out of the room. as soon as you were in the hallway, you fell against the wall and let out the first sob of that night.
you hadn’t even talked to him. you wouldn’t go near him after the incident in his bedroom.
mammon didn’t blame you, he couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror knowing it was his own hands that put you in harm’s way. he couldn’t unsee the look of fear you had in your eyes that night, he wanted to vomit.
he was disgusted with himself— he was supposed to be your protecter! not the one you were being protected from.
he knew he could never forgive himself, but he just hoped you knew that he would never intentionally hurt you. but what was the use in knowing that? he still hurt you, and there was no taking it back.
as the days went on, mammon grew restless. he wanted to talk to you, but he wasn’t sure if he should. maybe he should just let you approach him, maybe he shouldn’t push it and make it even worse.
but he was starting to get desperate, he missed you, so he couldn’t restrain himself from calling your name at the opportune moment while you were heading down the hallway after dinner.
you turned around, slightly surprised. “yes?”
mammon gulped, “listen.. i know why your avoiding me. and.. and i don’t blame ya. but, i was wonderin’ if we could talk.”
you were quiet, he could see the way you hesitated before sighing, “maybe another time, i’m really tired.”
mammon’s heart dropped, “please.. i won’t bother ya anymore. i just want to talk.”
you shook your head, looking stiff and uncomfortable, and mammon wanted to hit himself for making you feel like this around him.
“i don’t really want to right now, mammon, goodnight.” you said quickly, but as you went to turn away, mammon shot forward and grabbed your arm.
“listen to me, y/n!” he pleaded. he could see the frightened look in your eyes, and he could feel his own start to well up with tears when he realized he was probably making this worse. “ya know i didn’t mean it! i didn’t mean to hurt ya! i’m sorry! why can’t ya just get over it and let me make it up to—“
“you tried killing me! how am i supposed to get over that?!” you cried, and the hallway went quiet.
you could practically hear mammon’s heart breaking in the silence, and you felt horrible as you witnessed it. you didn’t mean to say it like that, you had panicked.
mammon shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks, ripping his hand away from your arm. “no.. y/n, you know i didn’t mean to.”
you didn’t know when you started crying, but you had. “i know.. i know you didn’t, mammon.” you sniffled, “i just.. i can’t not think about it. it’s there.. and..” you paused, the image of mammon on top of you with his hands squeezing your throat making your stomach churn. you shivered.
“just give me some time, okay?”
even though he didn’t want to, mammon had no other choice but to begrudgingly nod with glossy eyes.
he understood. if that’s what you wanted, he would give you as much time as you needed— as long as it meant you would come back to him.
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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pairing: beelzebub x gn!reader
prompt: 5 - feeling their pulse (touching)
> masterlist <
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beel felt you shuffle slightly in his arms before choosing a comfortable position, huffing out an annoyed breath as you did, and the demon subconsciously loosened his arms from around your smaller frame.
“are you uncomfortable?” he asks with a small voice, “i can move to the other side if—“
“no, no. it’s fine.” you quickly interrupt him with a shake of your head, wrapping a hand around his forearm to coax his arms back around you. “i just can’t sleep.”
beel feels a bit of relief, “oh.” he sighs, “so this is okay?”
you nod, snuggling your face into the crook of his arm that laid underneath your head. “mhm, i’ll be able to fall asleep eventually.”
the avatar of gluttony smiles to himself and complies, wrapping his other arm around your figure securely until you both were cozy enough to still your movements.
however, after a few moments of silence, beel started to feel something missing and it was starting to nag at him. he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was, but it was preventing him from dozing off into slumber.
“hmm.” he grunted softly, trying to bury his face into your hair to see if that would work.
“what is it, beel?” you asked, your voice muffled slightly.
beelzebub frowned, “i can’t seem to fall asleep either.”
you gave him a lopsided yet sympathetic smile, “that makes two of us.”
you twisted your arm to gently run your fingertips underneath his bicep, to his elbow, and down to his forearm until you reached his wrist, to where you delicately wrapped your small fingers with beel’s bigger ones.
“i guess you wouldn’t mind just cuddling?” you suggested.
beel smiled down at you warmly, “of course not.”
the demon gently squeezed your hand in his as you got comfortable again, secretly enjoying the size difference between you and him.
his hand lingered there for a moment as he listened to your soft breaths. his fingers then trailed down the back of your hand and to your wrist, running his thumb along the underneath of it, feeling the fragile bones and flesh of the joint.
there, he could feel a faint pulsating beneath your skin, and his thumb stilled so he could feel it again.
beel smiled to himself, snuggling into you as he held your wrist in his hand— the feeling of your pulse being a gentle reminder that you were alive and well in his arms as he was eventually pulled into sleep.
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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REBLOGS WITH EXTREME VIOLENCE
Reblog if you have made a friend online that you would love to hang with, but they live far away.
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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my requests are open again!
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMMON!!! ily 💞💞💞
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happy birthday to one of the best boys!!!! 💛💛💛
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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Freeze! ✧ ─=≡Σ((( つ•̀ω•́)つ You’re under arrest for being so lovely. Copy this message to 10 other blogs that you think are beautiful and deserve it. Keep the game going and make others feel beautiful! 😌🤲
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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pairing: beelzebub x gn!reader
prompt: 5 - feeling their pulse (touching)
> masterlist <
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beel felt you shuffle slightly in his arms before choosing a comfortable position, huffing out an annoyed breath as you did, and the demon subconsciously loosened his arms from around your smaller frame.
“are you uncomfortable?” he asks with a small voice, “i can move to the other side if—“
“no, no. it’s fine.” you quickly interrupt him with a shake of your head, wrapping a hand around his forearm to coax his arms back around you. “i just can’t sleep.”
beel feels a bit of relief, “oh.” he sighs, “so this is okay?”
you nod, snuggling your face into the crook of his arm that laid underneath your head. “mhm, i’ll be able to fall asleep eventually.”
the avatar of gluttony smiles to himself and complies, wrapping his other arm around your figure securely until you both were cozy enough to still your movements.
however, after a few moments of silence, beel started to feel something missing and it was starting to nag at him. he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was, but it was preventing him from dozing off into slumber.
“hmm.” he grunted softly, trying to bury his face into your hair to see if that would work.
“what is it, beel?” you asked, your voice muffled slightly.
beelzebub frowned, “i can’t seem to fall asleep either.”
you gave him a lopsided yet sympathetic smile, “that makes two of us.”
you twisted your arm to gently run your fingertips underneath his bicep, to his elbow, and down to his forearm until you reached his wrist, to where you delicately wrapped your small fingers with beel’s bigger ones.
“i guess you wouldn’t mind just cuddling?” you suggested.
beel smiled down at you warmly, “of course not.”
the demon gently squeezed your hand in his as you got comfortable again, secretly enjoying the size difference between you and him.
his hand lingered there for a moment as he listened to your soft breaths. his fingers then trailed down the back of your hand and to your wrist, running his thumb along the underneath of it, feeling the fragile bones and flesh of the joint.
there, he could feel a faint pulsating beneath your skin, and his thumb stilled so he could feel it again.
beel smiled to himself, snuggling into you as he held your wrist in his hand— the feeling of your pulse being a gentle reminder that you were alive and well in his arms as he was eventually pulled into sleep.
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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please reach out to someone if you are suicidal and or have suicidal thoughts/tendencies. my inbox is open if anyone ever needs to talk. ❤️
September is Suicide Prevention Month and I wanted to share some reminders
suicide should not be labeled as “selfish”. people who commit suicide are in incredible pain and think there’s only one way out. that pain is unimaginable if you’ve never experienced it. think about what drove the victim to do it, not just what you think about it
not all suicidal people will self harm or commit suicide. many struggle to live everyday, but continue on. this doesn’t mean that their struggle isn’t as important as those who are actively life threatening
self harm is not an indicator of suicidal thoughts all the time. many people who self harm do it for a release from the pain, not to die. this doesn’t mean their struggle is less important because they aren’t actively suicidal. but it’s also important to keep an eye on them because the release from pain can turn deadly very quickly, and they may become suicidal over time
suicidal people don’t think about dying all the time. they can have moments of happiness, anger, love, compassion, and any other emotion. they can also still be suicidal when they’re not in immediate danger.
speaking of moods, if a suicidal person suddenly is very calm, it’s best to check on them. they may have come to terms with a plan to commit suicide and need help. yes, it can be just a good mood, but it can be life saving to check in on them
being suicidal is not attention seeking. people who are suicidal need help and attention, yes, but they aren’t feeling this way to get it.
suicidal people may not be suicidal because they want the pain to stop. they may feel like people are better off without them, that no one will miss them, they’re tired of reliving trauma, or they just can’t imagine a future with them in it
many suicidal people who make it past their expected death don’t know how to continue on in life. if someone has spent the last few years thinking they won’t make it past a certain age, becoming an adult or getting older and having new challenges can be very difficult to handle because they didn’t plan for it. this is why having a therapist or counselor even once they’re out of the direct suicidal thoughts is important
having someone to cry to and call when you need help is one of the most effective suicide preventers. if a suicidal person thinks they can come to you, please be there for them, it may just save their life
suicidal people may be living for things you don’t see as important, like tv show or waiting for a new book to come out. don’t shame people for what’s keeping them alive, it’s better than nothing
that’s just the beginning of stuff to know about suicidal people and suicide in general. please call a hotline or text a service if you are in crisis. from personal experience as someone who’s been suicidal, i know how hard it is to pick up that phone, but i promise you someone is there to help
hotlines —
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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If you make any more parts to the “am i not good enough for you?” “you never were.” lucifer fic could you tag me pls 🥺👉👈
i’m not sure if there are going to be anymore parts, mostly because i wouldn’t know how to continue it.. but if i get any ideas or inspiration to add more parts then i’ll be more than happy to tag you! <3
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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Love your writing ❤❤❤
your too sweet tysm 😭💞💞
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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Please?? Please take it as a request then?? Thank you!
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pairing: lucifer x gn!reader
a/n: this is part three to the “am i not good enough for you?” “you never were.” lucifer fic! sorry this took so long, i revised it like five times bc i wasn’t sure how to end it lol. sorry if the ending seemed rushed.
parts —> one two three
> masterlist <
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the next few days went by rougher than you would i have liked.
you forced yourself to stay out of your room most of the time, trying to not leave yourself alone with your thoughts as much as possible, so you always found yourself hanging out with at least one of the brothers.
you were getting better, at least that what you told yourself.
in the back of your mind, you couldn’t shake the thought of lucifer and your last encounter together. he hadn’t spoke to you even once after speaking with you in the kitchen, nothing but a few nods your way when you frequently passed each other.
but even though words weren’t exchanged, you would often find a bouquet of scarlet painted roses in front of your room. it was obvious to you that this was lucifer’s doing, but to be honest, you didn’t find it appealing at all.
if he thought he could just win you over with some weeds, he was sorely mistaken. he doesn’t talk to you, and then he just leaves a pathetic gift for you to only assume it was him. the demon could have at least had the decency to bring you them himself, maybe make it a little more sentimental, but he couldn’t even do that.
you tried to not let it stress you out too much, because there was the possibility that he simply didn’t know how to approach you— that, or maybe it was that he didn’t really care enough to fix things after all.
maybe, it was too much of a hassle for him, and you just weren’t worth the effort. maybe, all of those things he said about you were true after all.
“y/n?”
a distant voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you looked up at beelzebub to see him staring at you with sparkling concerned eyes.
you then remembered where you were, at dinner. everyone had been gathered around, chatting amongst themselves only a few seconds ago, but now it seemed like all their attention was on you.
“are you alright?” satan questioned, leaning his chin on his hand to see you better.
“um..” you looked around the table, giving each and every brother a blank stare until your eyes rested on the chair across the table from you.
expecting to see the eldest, you were met with an empty seat.
right, lucifer didn’t come to dinner.
“yeah.” you nodded, forcing enough effort to put a tight smile on your face. “why?”
mammon spoke up this time. “why? well, we were askin’ ya a question and ya just ignored us!”
you furrowed your eyebrows, not even remembering being asked a question in the first place. “oh, sorry.. um.. could you maybe ask it again?”
they all gave each other a look before returning their attention back to you. sitting up from his resting position, belphagor hummed sleepily, “we were asking if there was anything you wanted to do after dinner.”
“we could always head over to the bookstore to get that new book i was telling you about, y/n.” satan suggested with a warm smile.
mammon scrunched his nose. “a bookstore? nah, thats boring, how about we head over to an arcade?”
“an arcade? that actually sounds—“
“actually, guys, i’m kinda tired.” you interrupted leviathan, your body suddenly feeling sluggish and your mind hazy with exhaustion— you knew you didn’t have the energy to go out and enjoy yourself.
“i was gonna go to bed right after this.”
you felt the mood in the room drop drastically, and you were staring to feel bad.
“of course, beauty sleep is always important.” asmodeus reassured, giving you a closed eyed smile.
belphagor nodded, “if you feel lonely, you could always nap with me.”
you could feel the guilty feeling in your gut start to subside, and you stood up with a tired sigh. “thanks guys, i’m gonna get going, i’ll take your plates if your done.”
gladly, mammon holds up his plate for you to take until satan reaches to guide the second born’s arm down. “it’s alright, y/n, we’ll take care of the dishes. get some rest.”
with that, you smile gratefully at the brothers before taking your leave, glancing at lucifer’s empty seat on your way out.
he’s probably hungry, he needs to eat. you think to yourself, then proceeded to wonder why you cared so much for a man who broke your heart while your feet ultimately ended up leading you towards the kitchen.
you quickly fixed up a plate for the first born before anyone else found you in the kitchen, making your way slowly down the hall while careful to not spill anything from the plate you held in your hands.
you could feel the prickly feeling of anxiety rising within you as you neared lucifer’s office, each step you took sounding louder the closer you got.
once you arrived in front of the office’s door, you didn't knock right away. you took a few moments to calm yourself down when you realized your heart was beating like crazy, and not in the good way like when you used to want to see lucifer.
finally finding the courage, you rapped the door lightly, waiting for a response.
“..come in.” said a dull voice from behind the door.
taking a deep breath, you twisted the knob and walked in carefully, your eyes landing on lucifer— who had been lifting his head from where it hid in his arms.
you could see the surprised glint in his eyes when he saw you, but that quickly disappeared deep into the void of his widened, tired pupils.
“..y/n, what— what brings you here?” lucifer’s sentence was punctuated by him clearing his throat as he tried to discreetly fix himself up.
you lifted up the plate of food, stepping up to his desk stiffly, “i.. figured you were hungry, since you didn’t come to dinner.”
you missed the sparkle in his eyes before he nodded and sat up straight, “ah, right. thank you.” he says, his voice almost sounding strained.
you nodded, placing the plate in front of the demon and all the paper work that was scattered around him.
you took in lucifer’s appearance from where you stood— his usually kept hair was slightly disheveled, probably from running his hands through it repetitively. the eye bags under his eyes were noticeably heavier, a tell-tale sign of the demon’s lack of sleep.
the documents on his desk were either stacked upon other stacks of paper or spread across his desk in a disorganized fashion, and you noticed that his hand wandered to grab another document before he took his quill to start scribbling down words, completely ignoring the meal in front of him.
you frowned, “aren’t you gonna eat?”
“i have to get these forms finished and sent to diavolo by tomorrow evening.” lucifer told you without tearing his eyes away from the paper. “i’m.. slightly behind.”
you parted your lips in shock, all the paper work surrounding him looked as if he was going to drown in it any second. “you have to give him all of this?”
“isn’t that what i just said?” the demon said lowly, his voice on edge. you watched as he ran another hand through his hair in stress, leaning his forehead on the palm of his hand.
you sighed, wondering if you should just leave him alone or find a way to help. in the back of your mind, you knew that part of the reason he was so slammed and stressed was because of your bitter treatment towards him within the past few days, but you couldn’t be certain.
after debating for a minute, you decided to plop yourself into the empty chair in front of his desk.
these actions drew lucifer’s attention away from his work and towards you, watching as you took a stack of papers and started to file through them.
“what do you think your doing?” he asked as you grabbed an extra quill and began to fill in the blanks of a document about student fees.
“helping.” you said shortly.
out of the corner of your eye, you saw lucifer’s grip on his quill tighten slightly, “that’s not necessary.” he scowled, reaching over to try and grab your paper. “now if you will, i’d like to—“
you quickly held the paper out of his reach and gave him a stern look, “lucifer, why do you insist on doing everything alone? can you not accept help when it’s provided once and a while?”
his formerly dull colored iris’s glowed with agitation, “i don’t need help, especially not from a—“ the demon cut himself off abruptly, his annoyance fading when he realized what he was about to say.
you raised an eyebrow at lucifer, insisting him to finish his sentence. when he didn’t, you clicked your tongue and got up from the seat with a tightness in your chest.
“well, if that’s how you really feel, then so be it.” you turned to walk away, looking over your shoulder to glare at him. “also, if you ever do plan to send me another half-assed bouquet of roses again, at least have the decency to leave a note next time.”
you felt the burning stare of lucifer’s softening glare as you finally turned away, preparing to walk out.
“wait.”
you paused in your steps, turning on your heel to look at lucifer— whom had a troubled look on his face. he struggled to find his words, but you waited patiently before he finally spoke.
“..can we talk?” he asked, his posture tense with anticipation.
you pursed your lips, stepping up closer to his desk. “you wanna talk now?”
he nodded, “yes.. i’m sorry i didn’t sooner. i just.. i wasn’t sure what to do— i hope you haven’t given up on me yet.”
you bit the inside of your cheek in thought before walking around his desk, standing in front of the sitting demon. “are you gonna let me help with all of this.” you asked, gesturing to his overload of paperwork.
lucifer looked over to the mess on his desk before begrudgingly nodding up at you in agreement, and you smiled.
“then let’s go for a quick walk, we can get it finished when we get back.”
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salemwitchezz · a month ago
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@akaazas this you?
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