saphiradrake

[saphiradrake]

Alfred: They broke seven of your ribs and fractured your clavicle.

Tim: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.

#alfred pennyworth #tim drake #batfam #source: deep space nine

[saphiradrake]

On the flip side of this is a Bruce who is used to following Tim’s commands, at least as far as self care and nutrition are concerned. Give me a Tim who was as much Alfred’s robin as he was Bruce’s.

Give me Dick and Jason baffled that Bruce, Bruce who ignored Alfred’s remonstrations to care for himself during their tenures. Yet obeys this skinny child that is his robin when he reminds him to eat and quirks an eyebrow at Bruce’s refusal to sleep and sends him off to bed anyway.

Tim who learned the care and feeding of the Bat at Alfred’s elbow, who is unafraid to drug Bruce into obedience so he doesn’t make his injuries worse. Tim who looks at Bruce with the indulgence and care of a parent whose child is wailing at the unfairness of bedtime, vegetables, and trips to the doctor and insists they all must be done anyway, overruling any complaint.

Give me Damian who’s outrage over Tim’s position is less to do with his being robin and more to do with Tim’s power over his father.

Tim has never been a child, he has never been robin in its truest form. Robin is meant to partner with and remind Batman that even in the darkest night there is still light. Tim pulled Bruce from the dark and dragged him to the light with cool reprimands and strict orders. Tim has been the ally and sometimes commander of the Bat but he was never Bruce’s son.

I want less of "the Drakes were terrible people and parents and Bruce rescues poor sad Timmy" (not knocking the trope it just got old for me)

And more of Bruce suffering a hell of his own creation as he tries to figure out how to parent Timothy "latchkey kid" Drake, who doesn't respect the concept of having parental supervision in general and more specifically Bruce's authority as his new guardian at all, because Tim was basically his caretaker for the entire beginning of his tenure as Robin

Any kind of Parental Action would have Bruce choking in his own hypocrisy. Like... imagine trying to get your teenage son to go to bed when he's been putting your ass down for naps for like, years, by that point. Imagine telling him to eat healthier when at 13 years old he was helping your butler with designing your meal plan 'cause you were too depressed to eat

Bruce gently tries to get him to stop working on a case to take a break, and Tim raises a single withering eyebrow (he learned this from Alfred) and Bruce immediately shuts up. Tim only listens to Bruce when he wants to and being legally adopted by the man hasn't changed that

(And I want fics of the rest of the batfam reacting to this dynamic soooooooo bad)

#dc #dc comics #batfam #tim drake #bruce wayne #red robin #batman #alfred pennyworth

[saphiradrake]

How small must the world be for both Bruce and Tim to witness John and Mary Grayson's deaths

Or for 10-year-old Duke to crack the Riddler's puzzle before Batman swoops in and saves the day, long before his powers came into play

Or for Sheila Haywood to leave her son only to end up assisting his killer a decade and a half later

Not to mention the popular fanon concept of Jason knowing baby Damian in the League of Assassins

Now imagine how many other invisible strings could've tied them together

Like what if Tim and Jason went to the same school when Jason was Robin but all they shared was the occasional bump and "excuse me" in the busy halls

Or what if Babs was a tutor and helped an elementary-aged Steph finally understand her homework only for the Browns to cancel after a couple sessions because they couldn't afford it

What if the first person to buy Cass a hot meal was Kate on one of her travels

What if Alfred witnessed young Selina shoplifting groceries but chose to turn a blind eye

What if Jason lived on the same streets as the Row siblings and gave little Harper tips on how to use tools and defend her brother

What if Steph and Duke shared the same school bus, only he sat in the front while she was toward the back

What if the first person to teach Tim how to tie his shoes was Bruce at a gala because Jack and Janet were busy talking to someone important

What if Bette did a DNA test for fun and found a connection in Nanda Parbat but just assumed the results was faulty because she knew her whole family, right?

What if 8-year-old Dick, the day before his parents died, stayed at a cheap hotel near Crime Alley and found 4-year-old Jason wandering alone and said, "I'll be your big brother for tonight"

What if the universe knew they were made for each other and wouldn't rest until they realized it too

#batman #batfam #i’m crying

[saphiradrake]

Shout out to my cat who after begging for treats panic farted and ran away when I actually picked up the container to give her said treats. All because the (plastic) treats container fell off the dresser after I put it back last time resulting in… you guessed it her getting more treats because the lid popped off.

#she’s so dumb but I love her #cats of tumblr #also the fartiest cat i’ve ever owned

[saphiradrake]

Okay but you COULD do a Dracula episode of Leverage and it would be hilarious.

I would do it like this. We'd have some wrong place wrong time protagonist called Jonathan who keeps accidentally witnessing parts of the con in such a way that they appear to him to replicate the events of Dracula. Like, the crew has inhabited some castle but Oh No, the mark's innocent little lawyer man is here, can't let him catch on

Sophie yeets the mirror because our friend Jonathan is about to accidentally see the crew hard at work behind him and she panics. "Oh you don't need this honey" or whatever (something something man's vanity)

He happens to open the window and Parker is just climing the castle like a lizard because that's. What she does

Nate is in an Old Guy disguise for one part of the con, but then Jonathan Not In On It happens to see him out of costume and WTF WTF WHY IS HE GETTING YOUNGER

Letters with fake dates make perfect sense when it's a con

Gets home happens to see the Leverage crew just walking around for the next part of the con, freaks tf out

Quincey Morris is exactly the kind if character Eliot would play

Sophie gets made, decides to have an elaborate Death Scene wherein Elliot and Hardison (as a "definitely licensed doctor") "help" the Mark try to "save" her

Parker plays Hardison's "assistant" but she plays it very VERY Renfield. Jonathan swears he can see her eating bugs (maybe it's a com that she panics and pretends to eat to not give away the game)

Poor Jonathan again sees her up and about post death scene and is like WTF WTF WTF

Eventually they cotton on to what has happened and Elliot (who hasn't been made yet) promises to help Jonathan kill the vampire once and for all

All of their aliases are drawn from Dracula and this is not played as intentional in-universe

Anyway, the whole thrust is that it's a perfectly normal Leverage episode except for one guy who, due to an increasingly unfortunate series of coincidences, believes he is in the novel Dracula. Like Rear Window, only it's Leverage Dracula.

[saphiradrake]

For me it is an innate knowledge. There’s never a moment where I suddenly have that thought of I am a woman. The best way I can describe it is that it’s the base code of my programming, always running in the background of my life. A fundamental and unchangeable tenant of my personhood.

I am a woman isn’t a thought or realization for me it’s just my own universal constant.

Hey. Cis women. Not a poll because I want you to elaborate. How often is “I’m a Woman” a thought that is present in your brain?

#hope that helps #or is at least understandable #saph answers

[saphiradrake]

#alan rickman #galaxy quest #there’s not enough ice in the world for that burn #the driest deserts aspire to reach this level of burning hot loathing

[saphiradrake]

You can only reblog this today.

[saphiradrake]

Romanticizing my 4am drive to work by pretending I am one of the Bats heading home after patrol

[saphiradrake]

look me dead in the eyes and tell me this isn’t the ideal damian wayne + literally anyone (steph, chris, maya, colin, dick, etc) dynamic. u know it in ur heart to be true

[saphiradrake]

It’s Barbie’s Super Bowl not Kens

#kansas city chiefs #chiefs #super bowl #cheifs win #taylor’s team #swifties

[saphiradrake]

guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.

[saphiradrake]

Complete based on this

#batfam #bruce wayne #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #alfred is so done

[saphiradrake]

I’m a huge fan of yours (requested by Anonymous)

#taron egerton #ian mckellen #is a national treasure #as is his dick apparently #not my tags I am not that funny

[saphiradrake]

Your stories make me incredibly happy, and I see your thingum (header?) is Chicago. Can you maybe tell a story at some point about the Magnificent Mile and/or the Tribune Tower?

I actually just moved here a few months ago, so I’m not supremely familiar with either beyond wikipedia and an architectural tour! I’ll sure give it a try anyway, thanks for the prompt!

————————————

The Tribune Tower is a magical hodge podge nightmare place that Steven sort of wishes would just be transported to another dimension already. As the tower’s watcher, he’s not allowed to wish that, but his boss can’t mind read so.

The tower can fuck right off.

Objectively, it’s quite pretty. Gothic design hoisted high into the air, buttresses, stone, the whole nine-yards. His parents had said things like “scenic” and “honor” and “historic” when he’d first been assigned. Back then, he’d even agreed with them.

Now he knows better.

“Get. Your. Hand. Off. The. Stone,” he says through gritted teeth. He’s not angry; he’s cold. It’s snowing lightly, muffling the world around them. Oh, sorry, the snow’s not muffling the world. That’d be the distraction charm, a charm designed to turn the non-magical eye away, cast by the man crouched at the base of the tower.

The man turns and Steven is suddenly angry and cold.

“Raul,” Steven says, taking his hands out of his pockets. “Now.” The chill races from his hands as he calls fire to them.

“Guardian,” Raoul greets far too cheerfully for someone who’s been caught red-handed. Again. “I was just touching, no need to get all snippy.”

Raoul backs away from the tower, hands raised as if to say no harm, no foul. Steven isn’t about to believe the older man, so he stalks forward, keeping a wary eye on him.

This is what Steven is supposed to be watching. There are stones from all over the world embedded in the tower. The Taj Mahal, the White House, the Alamo. Dozens of historic places have lost parts of themselves to this Chicagoan landmark and, for whatever reason, many of them are at ground level. Where idiot sorcerers like Raoul can just walk right up and touch them.

Keep reading

#this is absolutely phenomenal #urban fantasy #steven the dragon

[saphiradrake]

when I say I think Jason is huge as Red Hood, I mean like the guy from the Reacher show. Like when he stands up people get nervous. Thighs the size of tree trunks. Has no chance of ever fully fitting into normal clothing sizes.

[saphiradrake]

Having rewatched Pirates of the Carribean several times, I have noticed something interesting. Will Turner is often the only survivor of massive shipwrecks, like the one that killed his mother or the one with the kraken. Other times even when hes alone he survives drowning in ways he really has no right to, like the destruction of the Interceptor. He just often conveniently finds a perfect sized piece of driftwood or something. Remember what Calypso said? About him having a “touch of destiny?” I think that the sea could never kill him, will always cradle him and protect him, because all along he was destined to be the captain of the Flying Dutchman. The sea could no more kill him than a human could cut off their own arm.

#potc #pirates of the caribbean