sasorikin - Tumblr blog

sasorikin · 2 years

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first post in ages and im agonizing over it only seconds after posting. im just gonna talk more bc again! I can! No one follows me here! God. I’ll still put a read more tho.

I don’t even know that I would call the post I just made finished but I felt like it was the only thing I had that was “done enough” to share and god I’ve been. Wanting to share so badly lately.

I really miss drawing with other people and sharing drawings and feelings abt the subjects (esp bc I’ve always been the kind of person to draw near-exclusively fanart.) and I think it’s probably too late for that on tumblr but Twitter still really scares me.

There’s a part of it that’s wholly egotistical. A part of me that only wants to post if I know people will tell me it’s good. Because if I’m being honest when I look at my art next to other peoples— im really pretty sure it’s not good! And I know every artist deals w that etc etc but like. I’ve been drawing long enough and I’ve talked to enough people and seen enough things that I’d like to think I have at least. Some sort of objectivity about it. Not to mention I’ve seen how people who “know what they’re talking about” (art teachers, more experienced artists, etc) react to my work and what they’ve said about it. Maybe I only think I have that objectivity and really I don’t. But nonetheless, the feeling is what’s actually affecting me, not the reality.

And I’ve made a lot of progress in my productivity this last year, which I know is important. But I still don’t feel like I can ever quite. Finish anything. And so it feels utterly pointless. Just making more and more half finished things. Getting closer each time but still losing interest near the end point. Or seeing the “final” product and still not being satisfied. Knowing that this shading looks completely amateur and that that lineart had been a problem since I put it down. Knowing it’s still not good enough.

I’ve been happier with my artwork since I started drawing the things I wanted to again, and the way I wanted to too. I won’t get into that. But I still feel like I can’t quite get back the feeling I had when I used to draw with friends and used to spend a lot of time in fandom spaces, trading content of our favorite characters. Maybe those friends were just being nice to me when they said my art was good, but I still miss it.

I’m uh. Honestly not sure the point I’m trying to make here. I just don’t feel like I can say these things to anybody, and that they’re really stupid to start with. So I’m sending it off here into the void along with those tags on the last post.

If you did read this, thanks for bearing with me! And sorry I don’t post more. It’s been really hard for me to put up even what I have put up. I can’t make any promises of content and I’m sure no one is waiting for it anyways. I guess, really, I just wanted to get stuff off my chest. That’s all.

#personal stuff #thats not really a tag i have i guess i just #wanna clarify in case anyone needs to know what to expect under the read more

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sasorikin · 2 years

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“…and he performed a sword dance with that wandering eccentric...”

#genshin impact #scaramouche #the balladeer #look ok I’m posting this here specifically bc I know no one follows me #and I’m posting this here because I know tumblr is dead.#I’m gonna wax sentimental for a minute in the tags here bc I know I can #I uh. am really insecure about my art.#and that’s part of why I don’t post here very often this whole blog was #obviously just a throwaway blog for my reread at first and then a place for me to practice getting comfortable with sharing things #but honestly it hasn’t really gotten any easier!#I know that I tried too many different things that I wasn’t comfortable with in this piece #and I feel like only a few of them worked as intended #and I spent a lot of time not being satisfied with it #but also I poured all the love I have for scaramouche in my tiny little heart into it #so uh. i just really wanted to do something with it #sorry.

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sasorikin · 3 years

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honestly i think reze should be allowed to commit literally any crime she wants

#csm #chainsaw man #reze #still playing around w things #i kinda feel like my style looks wildly different from post to post since im still learning so much but oh well #thats life i guess!!

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sasorikin · 3 years

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I cleaned up an old Kobeni sketch to practice coloring. I probably experimented with a few too many moving parts here but oh well

#chainsaw man #csm #kobeni higashiyama #I’m trying to post more frequently too to overcome the anxiety abt it #I’d like to be more productive in general

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sasorikin · 3 years

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Head Bitch in Charge

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #maki zenin #have I mentioned I hate coloring???#finished not perfect #that’s the motto these days

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sasorikin · 3 years

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I have noticed a lot of notes lately on my naruto reread posts

Thank you but also sorry bc those were not supposed to be discoverable. Please check out my art as well if you’d like.

#perhaps soon I will post more of it.#truly who knows

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sasorikin · 3 years

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read chainsaw man

im personally victimized by makima

#csm #chainsaw man #makima #first non naruto art on here what a milestone #the baseball one was for my bf specifically lmao

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sasorikin · 3 years

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Thanks to anyone who came out! I’m gonna try not to plug my streams too too much on this blog, so I’ll probably make most announcements on my twitter!