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'you still listen to music from 10 years ago 🤨?' bitch if prehistoric humans had audio recording technology id be sat up here listening to grog and unga bunga's greatest hits don't play with me

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a collection of my favorite tweets regarding the Ever Given in the Suez Canal

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the work printer cries out, "no stop, that's too much! youre gonna make me jam!" as i load a full ream into her tray, but it's too late. "see, you can take it. you're doing such a good job for me." i coo into her feeding tray as i begin printing the morning reports. her warning lights turn red as she moans in i assume ecstacy

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hey don’t cry. spiro the bald eagle failing at catching a crab, okay?

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yesterday i went to a party and i kissed this girl and she kept trying to give me her linkedin and i was like ...LINKEDIN? and she said yes linkedin. so i said i dont use linkedin. do you have instagram though. and she was like yes i do have instagram. you should add me on linkedin. and i said i dont use linkedin. and she said i will add you on linkedin. and i said girl give me your instagram you are NOT flirting with me through linkedin. and she was like. ok. fine. here's my instagram then. and gave me her instagram, which she clearly uses a lot, so it wasnt even that she only uses linkedin but rather that she just wanted to talk to me through linkedin specifically. fascinating woman if i wasnt already attracted to her her unwavering loyalty to linkedin wouldve drawn me in for sure

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6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

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sometimes, the only way i know my roommate is still alive is the $30 cheese that appears and disappears from our fridge

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What if Pokemon & Animal crossing had a crossover game?! #5 Made in Blender, with ACNL assets.

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How it feels growing with Pokemon as a kid.

You can check my short which is a hommage to this game by clicking : HERE

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My brain: You have so many tight deadlines. So many things on your weekly schedule. So many important jobs. You have to get important work done!!!

My hands:

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help i’m in london w my dad and he keeps pointing at buildings and saying ‘there used to be a coffee shop here’ but by ‘used to be’ he means. in the seventeenth century

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It’s such a shame that ben shapiro insists on the whole alt right thing. I really do think he’d make a killing voicing animated squirrels

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