saxenart

[saxenart]

Am I the bad guy?

Sometimes I think that people want me to be the bad guy, and I don’t understand why. What goes through their mind? Why do they want to make me feel like the bad guy? I’ve been through many experiences in life where, when someone does something, nobody says anything about it, but when I do the same thing, people suddenly get pissed or angry at me.

For example at my internship, a lot of times people ask if they can work home if they are sick, or other reasons. Sometimes they ask without giving a reason. I never did this at first because I was scared that if I asked, my boss would say no. Unfortunately I got sick once and asked, it was approved. The second time I asked if I could stay home is when I cried all day, and couldn’t even get out of my bed and make breakfast. My sisters wedding was also the next day, so I thought that it would’ve been a good idea to stay home so I could get some rest and be happy at my sisters wedding.

But the boss at my internship got pissed at me, and I was so confused. It felt like a stab in the back to me, because she would always tell the interns that mental health is important. Also, why get pissed at me when also allowing other people to stay home, when sometimes, without any reason? She just replied with “that’s fine!” To them.

This happened recently, and it really hurt me, because this happened to me many times in the past already. Why can people do certain things, but when I do it, it’s wrong? This feels like double standards to me, but also manipulation and gaslighting. I’ve been through these kinds of things many times, so i’m able to doubt myself less and notice toxicity of these people. Even then, I still often doubt myself.

It makes me doubt myself and not trust myself anymore. I’m scared to ask certain things because of this and this is also partly why I have social anxiety. It especially hurts me when people tell me that I can trust them, but then they get angry at you for setting boundaries.

I’m not the bad guy, right?

It’s not selfish to say that i’m not, right?

…

No, i’m not. I’m just exhausted by people’s toxicity. I’m just tired of always being the target. I’m just tired of always being seen as…

The bad guy

#vent post #personal rant #venting #mental health #double standards #manipulation #gaslighting #self doubt #SoundCloud

[saxenart]

Sora smash reveal trailer ft Sora's iconic KH1quote

an edit that I made which I'm proud of lolz

#sora4smash #soraforsmash #sora #super smash bros ultimate #sora for smash

[saxenart]

I actually started this digital painting at the start of 2020 or even earlier than that. Because of the season 2 announcement of Vinland Saga i woke up from my grave and finished the background but this is mostly a drawing from 2020.

Only Vinland Saga and Kingdom Hearts can bring me back to life again. Lol, that’s a song title of Evanescence.

#vinland saga #thorfinn #farmland arc #askeladd #thors #art style #fan art #art #sketch #doodle #drawing #digital art #csp #clip studio paint pro

[saxenart]

[saxenart]

Thank you Nomura for the creation of Roxas.

#roxas #art style #melody of memory #sketches #doodles #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 2 #kingdom hearts 3

[saxenart]

My OC, Wojino. 25 years old and half human half wolf.

#traditional drawing #art #original character #sketch #drawing #doodle #art style #sketchbook

[saxenart]

here is some fan art that i made on Clip Studio Paint Pro of Zelda & Link from OOT!🌹

#art #sketch #digital art #drawing #doodle #digital drawing #art style #sketchbook #art study #zelda #ocarina of time #link #legend of zelda

[saxenart]

Participating one day for the Medsfallfashionchallenge

It’s basically about learning how to draw clothes and get better with it. It’s a monthly challenge i think, but i just do it once bc I’m busy with life lolz.

#art #digital art #sketch #doodle #drawing #digital drawing #art style #sketchbook #tekening #art study

[saxenart]

Anatomy studies

#anatomy study #anatomy #art study #anatomy sketches #clip studio paint pro #csp #female anatomy #art #art style #anatomy studies #digital sketch #digital drawing

[saxenart]

I posted this on Instagram a while ago, but i wanna be more active on Tumblr too so I’m posting it here too. I don’t really like Instagram anymore, it was wayy better in 2011, now it’s just dead. I noticed that Tumblr is better with hashtags so also for artists to get noticed faster.

#black lives matter #blacklivesmatter #blm #POC #person of color #poc artist #doodle #art #sketch #sketchbook #drawing

[saxenart]

Old painting i made. Still didn’t post it on tumblr yet, so here. Roxas as a viking.

#art #sketch #drawing #doodle #digital art #digital drawing #manga #kh #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 2 #roxas #viking #AU #kh 3 #re:mind dlc #art style #sketchbook #paint tool sai #dream drop distance #soroku

[saxenart]

Have some genderbend Sora. I love to draw Sora as female.😳🌹

#art #sketch #drawing #doodle #digital art #digital drawing #manga #kh #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts 2 #sora #sketchbook #traditional art #traditional drawing #art style #kh 1 #kingdom hearts 3 #keyblade

[saxenart]

My first Rokushi piece. Kinda proud of this one😔💙

#rokushi #roxas #xion #keyblade #kh #kh art #fan art #kingdom hearts #358/2 days #art #sketch #drawing #doodle #digital art #digital drawing #kingdom hearts 2 #kingdom hearts 3 #re:mind dlc #sora #kingdom hearts 358/2 days #dream drop distance #kh 3 #keyblade master

[saxenart]

Vinland saga AI of Thorfinn as a pizza deliverer bc he has to pay his bills lol.

#thorfinn #thorfinn karlsefni #canute #thors #vinland #vinland saga #doodle #sketch #fan art #digital art #digital drawing #paint tool sai 2 #sai 2 #thorkell #askeladd #art #drawing #painting #digital painting

[saxenart]

Some Thorfinn sketches

#thorfinn #thorfinn karlsefni #vinland #vinland saga #drawing #doodle #sketch #art #manga #viking #vikings #fan art #canute #vs #thors #farmland arc

[saxenart]

Soroku week, day 7: Established relationship

Finally had the time to make a full drawing with coloring. Now i can show my real art skill, lol.

#sorokuweek2020 #soroku #kh #kh2 #sora #roxas

[saxenart]

A beautiful connection between a somebody and a nobody