scaredadults

[scaredadults]

The SAGA

BUT AT LEAST I DIDN’T STEP ON THAT TURD...NO SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE TOOK A BIG SHIT ON A STREET... I PEEPED IT AND SIDE STEPPED IT.  THINGS COULD BE WORSE. MY ONLY PAIR OF SHOES COULD HAVE BEEN RUINED. 

#I should have avoided my family

[scaredadults]

Just found out I’m one of those unlucky folks who has to collect their stimulus check as tax credit. I’m not going to see that money. I had spent months and months trying to get my refund from IRS in 2020 and they finally gave it to me almost seven months after I filed. 

Trying to get your money from the IRS is like trying to get “the ring” from Gollum. 

#second stimulus check

[scaredadults]

Trying to find side hustles is a scary endeavor. Especially when you keep checking off things you don’t have the skills for. 

#side hustle #money #income #skills

[scaredadults]

Slightly..Embarrassing

I’m really into the hot priest from fleabag. 

Is it weird that I think it’s less hot when his not a priest. Like somehow the black garment with the white collar creates a glamour of sexy...mixed with the characters personality, and combined with the forbidden element it’s just too much sexyness. 

I don’t know when it happened... but I suddenly have a priest kink...

How embarrassing. 

I’ll probably have whoever I end up dating wear a priest costume..because the this kink is a little too strong. 

#fleabag #fleabag season 2 #hot priest

[scaredadults]

Confession

I fear that if I continue to seek validation and acceptance from people, then all I will be doing is opening the door for more toxic people in my life. 

I also fear my unhealthy attachment style that stems from neglect and abandonment as child will make it impossible for me to form healthy relationships. It’s not fair for people to have to emotionally take care of me because I had a shitty childhood, and I shouldn't expect people to fill that void. 

You know. 

I want to be loved, but I also need to reparent myself so that I’m open to secure and unconditional love, otherwise, I’ll probably either run or close myself off or hide or find a way to sabotage it. Like I’ve done before. 

Oh and I think I might be afraid of unconditional secure love. Not a joke, but yea, I’m a mess. 

#toxic family #toxic parents #abandonment #fear of abandonment #toxic relationship #attachment styles #reparenting #conditional love #unconditional love #confession #childhood trauma #validation #secure love #love #sabotaging #romance #friendships

[scaredadults]

When you are scared of people not accepting you as you are. So you hide yourself and who you actually are from the world.

And then you see this. 

Wow the fear was legit. 

i dont care if theres a genetic basis for being gay. i dont care if trans people’s brains resemble their gender. i don’t care. can we please stop focusing on answering why people arent cishet and more on how to actually stop homophobia and transphobia? because going out of our way to show that trans and gay people are weird variants on “normal” cishets isn’t helping.

#Homophobia #transphobia #qtpoc #gay black tumblr #cishets

[scaredadults]

The List Of Worries:

1. Money.

2. Money.

3. Money.

4. Money.

5. Money.

6. Money.

7. Food.

8. Health. 

9. Dying Alone. 

10. Money. 

#anxiety #stress #worries #money #fuck covid #trauma #covid relief #confession #home & lifestyle #black tumblr #poc tumblr #poverty

[scaredadults]

I’m scared of not being enough or worthy.

this keeps me up a lot. 

When you’re told you’re not enough for most of your life. You start to believe it. 

#confession #self doubt #self worth #self love #anxiety #depressing quotes #scaredadults #failing at life #life lessons #home & lifestyle #toxic family #reparenting

[scaredadults]

Confession.

There are days...weeks...where I’m scared that I’ve just wasted my time, and days away for people who don’t care about me, and for things that gave my life no meaning. 

I worry that at the end, I’ll be left with nothing but regrets and no time to make up for them. Oh, and materialist crap that I can’t take with me to the afterlife. 

#fears #realtalk #anxiety #life lessons #adulthood #your 20s #minimalism #minimalist #toxic friends #toxic parents #toxic family #toxic boss #deep thoughts #confession #life quote

[scaredadults]

12 years a Slave.

I’ve been laboring away (from 2008/9-2020, 12 yrs) to pay the government to help me when I need it. As insurance right, on a rainy day it helps you. 

I’ve paid 80-150k in taxes. 

I go to cash my IOU check, on 2020 pandemic unemployment mother load of rainy days crisis. 

Nobody is taking calls. I get ghosted. 

Get chump change thrown at me...like here bitch, this is what you deserve.

While these companies get millions, and I read that op-ed, many are fraudulent assistance applications for business loans. Some guy is driving around in his 200k car that he paid for through the business loan relief program from the government. 

People protest about the state sanctioned murders from police brutality, and the economical inequities. 

Politician in their 2k-6k shoes or suit does a press conference to say, “black lives matter.” 

Really? Me: adding up the cost of their clothes, shoes, hair-do, makeup. I haven’t even added up the house, apartment, car, kids tuition, food they eat on our dime, trips they pay for with our taxes, country club, government car/gas,  etc. 

While George Floyd was just trying to buy food and was murdered for it. 

#angry black woman #anxeity #politics #still unemployed #unemployment unemployed life #fuck covid #fuck the government #fuck trump #working class #classism #poor black #poverty #blackmentalhealth #black tumblr #poc tumblr

[scaredadults]

fuck the government, not just the President, but all of them.

Here’s why: 

I’ve been paying taxes since I was 15-16yrs old, and I am now 28yrs old. I paid 80k-150 in taxes in the years I’ve worked. 

That’s a house I could have bought. I could have invested that. I could have  started a business. That could have paid for my retirement. 

It could have paid for my college tuition and I wouldn't be in debt. 

I could have retired early. I could have traveled the world five to ten times over. 

Instead, it paid for these politicians salaries, houses, apartments, cars etc. 

I get hit hard by an economic crisis and they continued to be paid while my ass lives in a temporary shelter.

We worry about how we going to eat, and pay rent, and medical bills etc. They argue/ bicker with each other, sit on their asses and do nothing, and posture for the press. While saying this is an impossible job and impossible situation. Excuse rejected! It’s been 8-10 months. 

They’ve been sitting on a relief package for months. Now they want give out vaccines to elites. 

I want my money back.

I want a refund. 

Fuck democracy if it’s not going to help me.

I don’t want to pay for them to continue living off of me. 

Give me my money back. 

I don’t want you to help me with my retirement. Give me my money back. 

#rent #bills #fuck covid #politics #still unemployed #angry black woman #student debt #covid relief #debt #covid vaccine #black tumblr #poc tumblr #end of 2020

[scaredadults]

I’ve applied to almost 100 jobs in 2020

I’ve only received three call backs for interviews. And if I had been given the job I interviewed for early this year, then I would have been laid off three months later because of covid. 

What gets me heated is if I had been laid off then I could have applied for unemployment. 

Also, if they had changed the rules around unemployment then I could have received assistance for working majority of all last year. 

In the end, I got nothing. 

#still unemployed #unemployment unemployed life #broke life #fuck covid #fuck the government #angry black woman #black mental health #black tumblr #poc tumblr #working class

[scaredadults]

Confessional

Sometimes I worry all the haters are right about me. I’m worried my family, parents, ex friends are right. That I will fail at life, and be a complete loser. That I’m not capable of making it without all the toxic people I kicked out of my life. 

I’m scared that they were right all along. And, I’m the fraud. 

#black mental health #black tumblr #anxeity #toxic parents #toxic family #adulthood #epic fail #poc tumblr #qtpoc #confession #fleabag #ex friends #failing at life #depression #toxic friends