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Wash Away the Rain - C1: Shades of Gray

Soulmate AU Challenge - Colours: You see in black and white until you look into your soulmate's eyes. Then you start seeing in colour.

“…Oh shit!” she gasped. “What, did you forget your ‘magic’ muffins in the oven?” Kit scoffed. They both ignored her. “Oh shit,” he echoed the girl. No, not ‘the girl’. His soulmate.

When Graydon Hastur is sent out on a journey he did not want to go on, the last thing he expected to discover was his soulmate. Let alone that his soulmate was Elora Danan! The party discover a girl following behind them, and when he looks into her eyes, his world bursts into colour. There's just a few problems... He is engaged to Princess Kit. And she is in love with Prince Arik. It wasn't complicated at all...

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Crown Prince Graydon Hastur’s heart bet frantically in his chest, practically trying to break out of his ribcage as he pressed up against a tree, trying to stay as invisible as possible. It was beating so loudly he was certain that whoever was following could hear it from where they were. He could hear the muted thumps of their horse’s hooves on the soft grass of the clearing but couldn’t bring himself to even peek around the tree. Not even as Boorman launched himself from his hiding place at the incoming enemy, closing his eyes tight at the thuds and grunts and sounds of the ensuing scuffle.

“Hey! Put me down!!!” a distinctly female voice echoed through the clearing. His eyes snapped open.

It was a young woman by the sound of it. Certainly not the voice of the horrible Bone Reaver or one of the hellish Gales that Graydon had imagined was following them with the intention of eviscerating them and tearing them limb from limb.

Cautiously, he finally peeked around the tree to see that the others had already all jumped out to attack their stalker, only to stop short seeing a thin young woman with pale skin and light hair that he assumed was blonde. She was wrapped in a knitted shawl as dark as the trees around them… so, possibly green? - though he’d never been able to tell ‘colours’ apart very well when they were a similar shade of grey. She also wore a scowl as Princess Kit scoffed as they approached. Even then, he found that the girl was… pretty.

“Uh-uh. Absolutely not,” Kit scoffed. Clearly, she knew who this was.

“I want to help rescue the prince!” the girl argued.

“Tough. Go home.”

She scowled at the princess, and Graydon couldn’t help but smile, seeing someone who was clearly one of her subjects standing up to her like that. No one at home would dare treat him like that openly, even if he knew they did behind his back.

“You don’t understand!” she continued. “We’re in love.”

Oh.

So, she was in love with Prince Arik? …Of course, she was. The prince was handsome and charming, and any person could easily fall for him. He’d seen several women and men swooning over him while he flirted with them at dinner the night before.

...Not that it mattered that she loved Prince Arik anyway. It’s not like it mattered to him. He was engaged, after all.

“…I don’t know how to break it to you,” Jade said delicately, “but Arik’s been in love with quite a fe-”

“Not like this!” she cut her off passionately. “Not like us!” She was met by a lot of rolled eyes from some of the people who knew Arik well. She sighed in frustration. “You think I’m a fool. Fine, I don’t care! What we have comes around once, maybe – if you’re lucky. And there is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other!”

Graydon blinked in surprise hearing the girl’s impassioned speech. He could only imagine what it would be like to have someone love him that much. Someone who loved him so much that they braved unknown perils and most probable certain death to get him back. His chest burned sickly as he thought of Arik flirting with the courtiers last night. Did he even know what a treasure he had?

“Have you ever been in a fight?” Kit asked the girl, her frustration barely hidden.

“You mean, like… verbally?” He couldn’t help but smile at the response. It was funny and adorable. Though, the snickers from the others he knew were making fun of her.

“I mean, like, defending yourself against someone who wants to hurt you.”

“No,” she said. “Have you?” He couldn’t help letting out a low ‘Oooh!’ under his breath as he finally moved out from behind the tree, watching as the fair woman verbally sparred with the others below him. Everyone seemed stunned by the response. “I can do other stuff,” she continued, turning imploringly towards Jade, Boorman and General Kase. “Whatever you need - tend horses. Somebody’s gotta cook, right?”

“Are you any good?” Boorman asked, perking up at the mention of food.

“I’m phenomenal!”

This time he grinned. She certainly was confident. He wished he could be as confident and passionate as she was.

“She’s not coming with us, Boorman,” Kit groused.

“You heard the Princess,” Kase told the girl as he led his horse. “You’re going back to Tir Asleen at first light.”

Kit turned to look at him sharply. “What?!”

“What? It will be dark soon. She can go back in the morning.”

From the sheepish look on the General’s face, Graydon could tell he wanted to keep her around for the night so he could get a good meal. And if General Kase was willing to keep her around for her cooking after all the warnings he’d given them about safety, then she must be as good as she said. He could do with a nice meal himself, and he certainly wasn’t against her staying with them longer. She seemed nice.

Before Kit could argue any further – something he was quickly tiring of – he took a step forward to the top of the hill and finally drew attention to himself.

“So, what can you cook out here?” he asked the girl.

She turned sharply to look at him, surprised having forgotten there was another in their party, and his breath caught in this chest. He had thought that her voice was lovely, and her delicate features were beautiful… but that was nothing compared to her luminous eyes. Her brilliant eyes locked with his, and after a second they blew wide. He found himself doing the same, his mouth falling open as he was suddenly overwhelmed by an assault to his senses, the world around him bursting into intense vibrancy. The shades of grey he’d known his entire life being chased away by what he could only assume was colour. It was so much all at once, almost giving him a headache, and he looked about wildly to take it all in. He saw the colour of the sky above them, something he’d always been told was blue, and the green of the trees – indeed the colour of the girl’s shawl. He didn’t yet have a name for the shocking colour of Jade’s hair, unlike anything else around them.

Amongst all the new mess of colours, the girl stood out like a bright, fair beacon, looking about as frantically as he was before their eyes locked once more. Their stunning blue colour, the first he’d ever seen…

“…Oh shit!” she gasped.

“What, did you forget your ‘magic’ muffins in the oven?” Kit scoffed.

They both ignored her. “Oh shit,” he echoed the girl.

No, not ‘the girl’.

His soulmate.

“Ah… what’s going on? You two having a staring contest?” Boorman asked looking between them before getting a look of realisation. “Ohh… I see, you have a thing for princes, don’t you girlie? We got a bit of a… ex-lovers reunion going on, don’t we?”

“Wh-what? No!” she protested. Graydon wanted to protest as well, but he was too stunned to talk. “He- I- It- …I’m going to forage some ingredients!”

“Hey! You’re not staying!” Kit shouted as his soulmate fled into the treeline in the other direction to him. “Ugh. She’s going to get killed out there.”

“Shut up and kill me a possum, Princess!” she shouted back. Kit scowled, muttering something under her breath and Jade was attempting to hide a smile.

Graydon looked about at the others, the bright colours of their clothing and the overwhelming green of the forest making him dizzy. This was why he wore dark clothing. You didn’t have to deal with colours when everything was dark. Not that he’d ever had to deal with colours until just now.

“I… I’ll get some firewood,” he stuttered. “You need fire to cook, right? Yeah. Firewood. Cooking. Firewood… Cooking…”

Muttering as his mind swirled with chaos, he turned and wandered aimlessly into the trees behind him.

“Well, that was weird,” he heard Boorman say.

It was ten minutes later that Graydon realised he hadn’t even looked at the ground, let alone picked up a twig for kindling… And he might be a little lost.

…Which way was the clearing?

And hour later, Graydon lazed on the grass, close to a crackling fire, sheltered by a makeshift ‘tent’ he’d made with two large sticks and his coat. His soulmate sat not far off, working over a cast iron pot at the edge of the fire. The stew she was preparing smelled amazing already, but… She hadn’t said anything to him since she’d gotten back, and he’d been too nervous to do the same. She had barely even looked at him.

Overwhelmed by the colours he wasn’t used to seeing and incredibly anxious about the entire idea that his soulmate – his soulmate! – sat mere feet from him, he had pulled out his flute in an attempt to ease his mind. The high, reedy notes drifted peacefully through the air for a few wonderful moments. Until…

“Seriously? You brought a flute?” Kit scoffed.

“Yeah, was that not a good idea?” he asked, annoyance and anxiety mixing together. “My nan believed that music was a balm for the soul. So...” He wasn’t entirely sure why he was always explaining why he did the things he did, why he felt the need to justify every action he took. But he always had. This was something important to him. He was sort of moments away from a panic attack to be honest, and he needed the calming sound of his music. He needed the distraction of focusing on the notes he was playing. How could something as innocuous as music annoy the princess? Gods, was there anything she enjoyed? He could understand that she was stressed about her brother’s kidnap, but it felt like she had been in a perpetual state of irritation since they’d met.

“This is not some jaunt or your chance to see the world,” she snapped. “It's dangerous. And those things that took Airk, they're not just gonna give him back!” There was silence for a moment, and she looked over to Boorman for help. “Hey, tell him.” She pointed towards him.

Boorman turned his head to the side and spat out the stick of blackroot he’d been chewing on. “Well, you're all so naive, it's- it’s adorable,” he told her. Kit turned away, offended by the accusation. “What? You've never known pain, fear, hunger…” Graydon’s stomach twisted. He did know those feelings… all too well. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone. Despite the fact he was a prince… No, not despite – because he was a prince of Galladoorn, he knew just what it was like to live in pain and fear, and yes, even hunger. But not how Boorman was thinking of it. “Out there, it won't matter who your parents are, or what you think you deserve. ‘Cause the world is bigger than you could possibly imagine... It doesn't give a damn about any of you.”

“Possum stew?” his soulmate said sweetly, cutting off anything else Boorman had been about to say. He leaned forward eagerly, not just to watch Boorman’s reaction, but to observe his soulmate more. Living at court, he knew well the art of distraction, so he could recognise she was preventing him from upsetting them with his words. It was very diplomatic, and incredibly sweet of her. He could tell she was a very compassionate woman, and despite only being a kitchen maid, it seemed she had picked up a few tricks living in the castle.

Oh, gods. His father would never allow him to marry a kitchen maid! …But screw it! She was his soulmate. Surely his father would understand that. And if he couldn’t… well… Well, he’d just have to stay with her. Leave Galladoorn and forsake his crown. Certainly, his father would prefer he marry a servant over losing his last and only heir… Maybe it would overcome his insistence to use him to gain an heir to Tir Asleen…

He shook his head. That didn’t matter away. He was set to be married to Kit, and his soulmate was already in love… He wasn’t about to stand in the way of her happiness. They’d only just met…

“Wow!” Boorman exclaimed after taking his first mouthful of the stew. It was clear he was impressed.

“Phenomenal,” she whispered at him smugly, nodding to him. She knew she was good, and proud to have proved it to him. His heart fluttered in his chest, his gut twisting in a way that was more pleasant than what he was used to.

She went back to the pot, filling up a bunch of bowls and handing them out to everyone in turn. When she handed him one, he was all too aware that their fingers gazed as she handed him the bowl – the first time they’d ever touched, and he thanked her with a gentle voice, earning a nervous smile in response. Once everyone had their bowls and was happily slurping away, she grabbed a bowl for herself and settled down across the fire from him. Sure, it was near where she had been cooking, but he couldn’t help but notice it was as far away from him as she could get… but it was also directly in sight of him.

As soon as conversation started up, Kit stood and went and sat on a log not too far away, leaving her bowl of stew behind. Boorman immediately went to reach for it, only to be swatted away by Jade.

As he ate, he watched his soulmate look over at Kit, unable to read the emotions there. It was clear they had some kind of history, considering she was in a relationship with the princess’s twin. And from the way Kit treated her and reacted to her, and the annoyed yet melancholy way his soulmate gazed at her, he didn’t think it was a good one. Eventually, his soulmate’s gaze moved past his… fiancée, further out to the shimmering haze of magic on the horizon.

“I know this is a silly question…” she said eventually, “but what is the Barrier, actually?”

“It's a force field,” Jade informed her before he could even open his mouth to explain. “Forged by Raziel and Cherlindrea to protect the realm. It was a refuge for those who wanted a life that was more than just survival.” She hesitated a moment, looking as if she was going to say something else. She leaned back, sniffing and clearing her throat to get rid of the tears he hadn’t noticed had welled in her eyes. “My, um, family was headed to the Mothers' Gate when we were attacked. I was the only one who survived.”

“That's... depressing,” Boorman said, “but not why they built the Barrier.”

Graydon’s attention was drawn by movement, and he noticed Kit coming back over to the group, placing a comforting hand on her protector’s shoulder and sitting beside her. It was clear the woman was more than just her guard. They were friends.

“He's right,” Kase told them. “It wasn't built to protect the realm, it was built for Elora Danan.”

“What happened to her?” his soulmate asked.

Graydon looked down, for once not wanting to eagerly share his knowledge. He had a few theories. His father certainly had one to, similar to what he believed to be true, but very different in conclusion. They both believed that Queen Sorcha and her husband had taken Elora Danan back to Tir Asleen, disguised her, given her a new name, and raised her there under their protection, unknown to the rest of the world. But while he believed the Queen had kept her close in the castle, but not too close as to put her in a position someone could suspect who she truly was, his father believed they had raised her as one of their own. After all, it’s only natural to protect one’s child (or so he’d been told, even though he hadn’t experienced much of that), and what better way to prepare the empress for her duties without causing problems in the matter of succession. His father believed they had disguised Elora Danan as their own daughter… Kit. It was why he was forcing him to marry her. Kit and Arik could be asked to stand down at any point when Elora Danan returned. But if Kit was Elora, being her husband would make him consort to the empress, exactly what his father wanted…

But he didn’t think his father was right. Kit wasn’t Elora. He knew she wasn’t. He didn’t know how he did, but he was certain of it.

“People say she's dead,” Jade said, a wide smile growing as if telling her favourite bedtime story. “But the prophecy says that one day she'll return and unite the world against forces of darkness.” She gave a small chuckle before her smile fell and she threw away the balled-up bit of grass she’d been fidgeting with. “Truth is, no one actually knows.”

“My mother knows,” Kit said with certainty, staring into the fire blankly. He looked over at her, wondering if she had any idea… Hoping his father hadn’t been right, despite the certainty he felt that he was wrong. “Pretty sure my father knew too. I think he snuck her out of the castle one night and took her somewhere far away where nobody would find her. And then… stayed with her.” She let out a breath, the subject clearly something that upset her. He couldn’t imagine what it would have been like for your father to just leave one day and never come back…

…He imagined he would have found it a relief…

“That what you really think or what you wanna believe?” Boorman asked her.

“Why would I want to believe that he chose her instead of us?”

“I don't know,” Boorman said with his usual almost sarcastic tone, reaching over for his blade and hugging it to his chest. “Maybe 'cause, you know, sometimes it's easier to hate them.”

With the blade cuddled into him, he grunted as he lay back, shifting about to get comfortable. And at the sound of a soft snore, they realised Kase had already drifted off. The rest of them all silently agreed to follow suit, getting comfortable to rest for the night, Jade quietly saying she’d take first watch and wake Boorman up later. His soulmate had giggled and said he wouldn’t like that, earning a drowsy ‘I’ll kill you if you do’ from the man in question. And his assurances that they were safe within the barrier allowed the bright-haired woman to lay down beside the princess and drift off too.

It was hard to get to sleep. Partly because he was used to soft feather beds, not hard damp grounds. He’d tried to avoid joining his father’s hunting parties as often as he could, but even when he couldn’t, they had at least brought tents and sleeping pallets. But he was also far too aware of the woman sleeping across from him. His soulmate so close, yet so far away, staring off into the night at the shimmering barrier… probably thinking of her prince. The prince that wasn’t him.

He knew that he should talk to her. Everyone else being asleep would mean that they would have some privacy. He didn’t want his soulmate to think he was avoiding her. But the idea she was thinking about someone else right now kept him where he was, mouth shut, laying on the hard ground and looking up at the bright pricks of starlight.

He started searching the sky, finding every constellation he could, just like he and his mother had when he was young and couldn’t sleep because of the nightmares. And soon, his eyes grew heavier, the stars becoming harder to find, and thoughts slowing to a stop as he drifted to sleep.

He woke the next morning to the incessant sound of chirping birds who were awake far too early and the quiet whispers of voices around him.

“The kitchen maid?” Jade was asking someone in a hushed voice.

The kitchen maid? …his soulmate?

“She's gone,” Boorman responded quietly. “When I woke up. Yeah, one night of sleeping on the hard ground will cure anyone of their romantic fantasies.”

His sleep-hazed mind played the interaction around on repeat, trying to make sense of the words, an ache growing deep in his chest. As he became fully alert, that ache paralysed him so all he could do was lay there.

She was gone?

She wasn’t here anymore?

She had left while they were asleep?

“Maybe she kept going?” Jade suggested.

“Nah, unless she found the gate. She won't get across that gorge,” Boorman said.

Graydon’s breath caught in his chest.

His soulmate had packed up and left in the middle of the night. And from what little he knew of her, he knew she had not gone back to Tir Asleen. If she was going to head back home, surely she would have stuck around and made breakfast so she could try to convince the others to let her come along. But the fact that she had gathered all her things and quietly snuck off while they were all asleep meant she didn’t want them to stop her. Which meant she was pressing on… Alone. Into dangerous territory with Bone Reavers and Gales and bandits and marauders who could kill her and worse. And that was if she could get across the gorge… which she seemed stubborn enough to try.

What if something happened to her? Fuck, and he would know if something did. What if on the way to the Mother’s Gate his new colours suddenly dimmed? What if she died out there and he didn’t even have the chance to ask his soulmate her name before he lost her?

Oh no.

Fuck.

…He was going to be sick.

“Ah… Graydon, you okay there?” Jade asked, her voice quiet but concerned. He opened his eyes and looked over to see her leaning over and peering at him in worry. “You’re kind of… hyperventilating…”

“What? Oh, yeah. No, um… I-I get nightmares,” he told her, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. It wasn’t exactly a lie, since he did still suffer from terrible nightmares most nights that made him wake up already having a panic attack, or with anxiety ticks like hyperventilating or trembling hands. But that wasn’t what had him panicking right now.

And he couldn’t exactly tell her the real reason why. It didn’t feel right…

He groaned to try and clear away the remains of sleep and the panic attack that Jade had unknowingly halted when his focus shifted to pretending to be normal and okay for those around him. It was rare that worked, so he was glad it did this time, his need to pretend outweighing the anxiety. The kind guard was nodding in understanding, sitting back to give him some space. And he found his eyes drifting over and settling on the empty patch of ground his soulmate had chosen to settle down on last night.

Whether she had gone back or pressed on… she had not even spoken to him before she left. He hadn’t even managed to ask her name… And that made the still lingering ache in his chest grow stronger.

He should have taken his chance and spoken to her last night…

“She left in the night,” Jade told him, unaware he’d heard them before. “We think she’s gone back to the castle.”

He looked over at her. “With the way she spoke about Arik yesterday, you really think she snuck away in the dead of night to go home?”

After a moment, Jade shook her head. “No… She’s stubborn and dedicated when her mind is set. She’s gone after Arik by herself… I’m just hoping she gives up and goes home if she can’t find the Mother’s Gate.”

“If she does find it, I bet you she’s charming the guards with food,” he joked in an attempt to lighten his mood. He could practically picture it already. His soulmate cooking up some lovely meal and serving it to the guards while sweetly and passionately pleading her case.

There was a groan from the ground beside them. “Whose got food?” Kit mumbled, groggily dragging herself up.

“No one, Kit.”

“Mmm…” Kit smacked her lips, blinking hard a few times to wake up properly and looked about. “Speaking of food, where’s muffin girl?”

“Already gone,” Boorman told her.

“Oh, good. Kind of. Would have been nice for some breakfast before she left.” She paused when she realised what she said. “…Don’t tell her I said that.”

“Your secrets safe with me, Princess,” Jade said in amusement.

“Not with me,” Boorman countered, his delivery flat and serious, but his eyes shining with mirth.

“What have you got against her anyway?” Graydon said, the words leaving his mouth before he’d even processed them. Kit looked at him in surprise.

“Nothing… I don’t…”

He scoffed, shaking his head. “You could have fooled me. I know you’ve got your own… thing going on right now. You’re worried and stressed, and you have every right to be, but you didn’t need to take it out on her. She was just trying to help.”

“I didn’t take it out on her,” she protested. “She just didn’t need to be here. She’d just get in the way.”

“Sure,” he said, unconvincingly.

“What, you think she should come with us?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe. She’d probably be more useful than I’ll be. And at least she wants to come and help, we all know I’m only here because my father forced me to. I’m not good at this sort of stuff. As far as I could tell, she was.”

“Shows what you know,” Kit muttered quietly, but Boorman’s snicker was louder.

“You sound like you admire her.”

“She seemed nice,” he said simply, turning to start packing his belongings in hopes of stopping the conversation there.

“Did she now?” he went on, his voice heavy with suggestion and amusement.

He turned back, roughly jamming a tunic back into his bag. “Oh, for the gods s- We only met yesterday, Boorman!”

“Oh yeah, sure. Because staring at each other in shock, then fleeing in opposite directions into the woods and ignoring but glancing surreptitiously at each other all night is totally normal first meeting behaviour.”

“Look, would you just drop it? I never met her before yesterday, and that’s the truth. I don’t even know her name… When would I have had the chance to meet her? I’ve never even left Galladoorn until we came to Tir Asleen!”

“Mmm, he’s right,” Kit agreed, surprising him. “She’s never left Tir Asleen. She’s been at Prunella’s heels as long as I can remember. Until she decided to cling to my brother like a baby possum to its mother.”

Boorman paused and looked at her oddly. “Are you jealous that she’s spending time with your brother?”

“What? No!” she scoffed, looking about in a familiar way he knew meant she was looking for a distraction. Her eyes landed on Kase, who had wrapped himself in his twilight-sky cloak and rolled over so many times he was practically swaddled in it. “How has he slept through all of this? He looks like he’s in a giant blue cocoon.” Oh, so it was blue. It must just be a darker shade. Wait… As she went over and shook him awake, Graydon’s brow furrowed as he realised she had just said the colour of the cloak. …Kit could see colours? He looked over at the others to see Boorman wearing a similar expression of surprise as him, but Jade hadn’t even blinked. “Kase,” Kit said as she jostled the older man. “Hey, Kase. Wake up, we’re getting ready to go.”

“What? Oh… yes…” He blinked blearily at them, then rolled back over. “Five more minutes…” he mumbled. The four of them looked from the drowsy general, then at each other in varying degrees of annoyance, bafflement and amusement.

…This quest was out to a great start.

Graydon sighed heavily as he walked, tilting his head back and enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face as it slowly dried his uncomfortable, wet clothing. He was trying to decide if the day had been more chaotic than the day before.

Yesterday, Prince Arik had been kidnapped by the Gales, he’d been forced to go on a quest to save the prince, and he had met the prince’s girlfriend only to discover she was his soulmate.

Today he had woken to find his soulmate had left in the night, discovered the Mother’s Gate was deserted and a warning in Pnakotic written on the wall in what he was refusing to admit was probably the blood of the missing guards, an earthquake had struck as he’d read the warning – which somehow felt connected – an odd sensation making his skin prickle, they had found his soulmate again walking across the planes, and Kase had been killed by Bone Reavers who had then pursued them right off the edge of a cliff!

Thankfully there had been a lake bellow the cliff with a deep, sharp drop-off right where they had landed. Also thankfully, the drop-off wasn’t too large. They had landed in the safest spot and been able to quickly get to shallower waters. Because he was admittedly not the strongest swimmer, and his coat had weighed him down too much to keep swimming long. Honestly… he might not have made it if he wasn’t still clinging to his horse’s reins. The wet clothing was uncomfortable, but it was preferable to dying, so maybe he wasn’t as cursed as he’d always thought. Also, as luck would have it, the lake they had come out of was fed by the River Freen. So, it was just a matter of following the river to the Nelwyn village so they could meet with the great sorcerer, Willow.

He was a bit nervous about meeting Willow. He’d heard so many stories of him growing up and had studied as much of the battle of Nockmaar as he could. As a child he had been fascinated by the idea of magic, though he knew there were no more sorcerers left in the world. He had still wanted to learn anyway, but it had been his possession that had truly driven him to studying magic. Mostly Pnakotic, in an attempt to understand what had happened to him and prevent it from ever happening again. A part of him hoped that he could ask Willow to teach him. He knew the theory of magic… at least of dark magic, as he’d found quite a few resources hidden away in the Galladoorn royal library. But he didn’t yet know how to channel it and make it work… He’d been too scared to even try. Especially since he knew better than to trust the magic in the books he studied. But Willow was one of the two great sorcerers who had defeated Bavmorda. He would be able to teach him better magic, kinder magic… If he accepted him as an apprentice… If he even had the aptitude for it.

The other reason he’d never tried to do magic, other than the fear of doing something terrible with dark magic, was that he didn’t want to give it a go and discover he was unable. He had spent his childhood playing at being a sorcerer, pretending to cast spells and fight battles against Bavmorda and her forces. But he’d always been told to stop being silly, that he was no sorcerer, and to put the fantasies aside. Even his older brother, whom he adored and looked up to, who was always kind to him and encouraged him in everything he did, told him that he ‘just couldn’t do magic’. And the thought that they were right was worse than the thought of never knowing.

…But he was going to try anyway. He had been focusing on how he could ask Willow to train him, practicing what he was going to say. Because it was better than focusing on the girl that kept slipping into his thoughts when he let his mind wander. As they began walking, she had fallen in step with Jade ahead of him. He had tried to move up and join her, but the so-called ‘knowing look’ Boorman had given him made him fall back again.

He wanted to talk to her… But not with these three listening to him so intently.

Instead, he had fallen to the back of the group alongside his fiancée where they had walked in silence for a few hours, both consumed by their own thoughts.

“I wanted to say, um…” Kit suddenly spoke, drawing his attention. “I'm sorry... About the way I behaved.” He blinked, surprised by the sincere apology, and looked down to hide his reaction. His expressions didn’t always match what he was feeling, and it always made his father angry. He didn’t want to make Kit angry, especially not since she was being nice and apologising to him… and especially because it took him a moment to realise that she was apologising about the way she’d acted at their engagement dinner. “It was... I was very childish. And...”

“No, it's okay, he told her quickly, showing her mercy so she didn’t have to force out the painfully awkward apology. “I- I can understand not wanting to marry someone that you barely know. I wasn't happy about it either.”

“You weren't?”

“I mean, you're...” He couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that escaped him. “You're a very pretty person, but, uh... I just think you should be in love with someone before you commit to spending the rest of your life with them, right? Or- or, you know… better yet, find your soulmate. You- you do have a soulmate, right?” he asked. “I heard you mention colours very accurately this morning.”

Kit looked down to try and hide a small smile, very unsuccessfully. “Yeah. Um… We met when we were kids. What about you? If you could tell that I was mentioning colours ‘very accurately’, then you must be able to see them too.”

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly. “Yeah, it’s… fairly new. I haven’t even had a chance to talk to her about it yet. It’s like… our eyes met, we awkwardly danced around each other… and then things got really hectic.”

That was an understatement. The last day had been one thing after another, and he was leaning towards it being the more chaotic of the two. He really should have taken his chance to talk to her at the fire last night. Come up with some excuse to pull her away from the group so no one could hear and have a talk. He still didn’t actually know her name, for crying out loud! But the biggest issue that had made him so hesitant, it seemed, was still a factor. They wouldn’t have found her still travelling out past the barrier if it wasn’t.

His soulmate was in love with his betrothed’s twin brother.

Kit sighed in amusement, rolling her eyes. “So, we both have soulmates we’d rather be with, but are stuck with each other… We could marry for appearances. You know, say the words and all, but be with the one we love in secret.”

He shook his head, trying to push down bitter memories. “No… No, I couldn’t… Sorry, I just… can’t do that. I’ve seen what my father has put my mother through with his mistresses. Even if it was something we agreed to, I don’t think I could do that to you. And rumours always spread. If word got out, it could put you in danger if you got pregnant and the parentage was called into question.”

She scoffed. “Trust me, that won’t be a problem.”

“Besides, like I said, I think you should be in love with someone before you marry them.” He wasn’t in love with his soulmate… Not yet. But he could easily see how he could. He even thought he might be on the way there already. Even before he knew she was his soulmate, before their eyes had locked and their worlds burst into colour, he had admired her. He had felt a surge of jealousy towards Prince Arik for having her love. He had always tried to ignore emotions like jealousy, scared it would feed the entity that had once (and possibly still did) possessed him, and make it surface once more. But he couldn’t deny what he’d felt in that moment. Just as he couldn’t deny he thought his soulmate was beautiful and sweet and funny. She was adorable, and he wanted to spend all his time around her… But she still refused to look at him. Too aware of what they were, and likely conflicted over being in love with someone else. He understood… but it still stung.

But his feelings aside, he knew in his heart he could never go through with an arranged marriage. It was only the threats from his father that had made him go to Tir Asleen at all. His mother and father had been in an arranged marriage, his mother once a princess of Chashmere. He knew that they weren’t soulmates because his father still only saw the world in shades of grey, while he’d come to realise that his mother could see in colour. And while his mother had assured him that they grew to love one another, the things he’d seen and heard his entire life told another story. His father’s blatant affairs, his mother’s secret letters to her soulmate… He did not want to end up like his parents.

“And what about our responsibility to unite the realm?” Kit asked, drawing him back to their conversation.

He thought about that one a moment before hesitantly voicing an idea he’d been too afraid to tell anyone for years. “One day you and I are gonna be in charge. And when that day comes, we don't have to do things the way our parents did.”

He looked over at her with a reassuring smile, happy to see that she was smiling at him in return. She must like the idea. And who knew, maybe they could come up with a plan and stall the engagement when they got back. Even if it was just long enough for one of them to be put in charge.

…Okay, that was horrible, he was considering their parent’s demise. Those were bad thoughts, and he knew they were his own. Nothing had put the idea in his head or played on his negative emotions to cultivate it. Gods, what kind of person was he? Maybe he really was as evil as his father said…

But he knew he could never hurt his mother or Queen Sorcha… He wasn’t entirely sure how he would react to his father’s death, but he knew he could never bare to be the cause of it. He had already killed one family member. He couldn’t kill another.

He shook his head, willing his thoughts to move away from the morbid subject. They had time to figure this out… if they made it back alive.

Once more, he looked up ahead, his eyes instantly drawn to the bright, fair hair of his soulmate. She looked luminous in the sunlight, even more so as she smiled and laughed as she talked to Jade. Seeing her so happy made his heart flutter in his chest, and he quickly looked over at the princess’s protector instead to stop that train of thought in its tracks. She was happily chatting away too, glowing in the sun in that rich colour he didn’t have a name for yet.

“…Hey, can I ask you a question?” he said to Kit suddenly.

“Sure.”

“What, um… What colour is Jade’s hair?”

Kit looked at him incredulously, her mouth popping open in shock. “Ohhhh, it’s that new of a thing!”

He looked down uncomfortably, and she bumped into his shoulder with a comforting smile. The gesture gave him the courage to continue, a smile returning to his face. “Yeah… and I haven’t really told anyone… Except you, now. So far, I’m just kind of guessing colours based off what I’ve heard. You know, sky, grass, trees. I didn’t even know Kase’s cloak was blue until you said it because it wasn’t the colour of the sky.” He looked up at the sky above them, the usual bright blue he had immediately associated as the colour blue. “But I swear I’ve seen the sky be twenty different colours already.”

“Yeah, that stage is super confusing. You never know just how many shades there are until someone explains them to you. And to start with you don’t know if something is a different colour or just a different shade. And that’s without considering the in-between hues. Like, you know how trees are green, right?” He nodded, despite it being rhetorical. “Well, so is that.” She pointed to a rolled-up bundle of fabric on the back of Boorman’s horse. It was definitely not the colour of the trees.

He squinted at the blanket, not understanding what she meant. “Wait, what?”

She laughed. “Yeah, I know, right? It’s a shade of green that’s a little closer to blue. So, it’s like someone mixed the sky and the grass together. There’s heaps of in-between colours that you’ve probably heard the names of, but have zero concept of. Colours are confusing, like… So, you asked what Jade’s hair colour is, right?” He nodded in confirmation. “People call it ‘red’, but it’s not quite red. Not really.”

“So… her hair isn’t the colour of blood?”

“Dude, you haven’t seen blood yet?” she said, taken aback. Her brow furrowed. “How new is this for you?”

His eyes widened. They were both all too aware that he would have seen plenty of blood the night the Gales took Arik. Which had only been the other night.

“Ah… What colour is it, then?” he asked, his voice going up an octave.

Kit chuckled at his obvious deflection, the most genuine smile he’d seen from her so far. “No, her hair is not the colour of blood. Her shirt is closer to the colour of blood than her hair is. That is usually what people mean when they say red. But ‘red-head’ is a little closer to orange… like your blanket back there. But it’s not the colour of the fruit, the fruit is a brighter version. Her hair is a deeper shade. Some call it ‘ginger’… But that is not what colour ginger root is.”

His brows furrowed as he struggled to take that in. “Right… Sure. Not confusing at all.”

Kit laughed so loudly, their companions all turned back to look.

It wasn’t too long later that the woods began to grow up along their side of the river, and they began to see remnants of man-made structures. They were in some kind of village, or at least… what remained of one anyway…

Gods, he hoped it wasn’t the Newlyn village they were looking for.

“Where is everybody?” Jade asked, looking about as they tethered the horses. Everyone looked concerned, probably thinking the same as him. But just when he was about to start panicking that something bad had happened to the legendary Willow Ulfgood, he heard a new voice fill the clearing.

“Oh, Daikini,” he groaned. “Terrific. Just what I needed.”

They all whirled around to see a Nelwyn standing by one of the structures. It was a fusion of natural and man-made, skeletal branches trained around the worked wood of a dilapidated dwelling, covered in overgrowth as nature reclaimed it. Two moss-covered doors of crafted wood stood open, showing the dwelling no longer had a back, making it appear more like a gate.

Finally seeing another living being who wasn’t trying to kill them right away, the group moved towards the man.

“What happened here?” Jade asked him.

“Plenty,” he replied, taking a step towards them so they wouldn’t get too near the gate. “And if you're not careful, it will happen to you too.” Graydon was all too aware of the man’s hands resting on the hilt of two daggers at his side.

“We're looking for the sorcerer, Willow,” Kit told him, ignoring the warning.

“Congratulations. You found him.” He gestured to himself, his hands never leaving the dagger hilts.

“You're Willow?” Boorman asked, sounding somewhat disbelieving.

“Yep, that's me. Willooowww.” Graydon pulled a face, taken aback by the strange way he’d said the name. No one said their own name like that, especially not so mockingly. This man was not what he’d expect when meeting the great Willow Ulfgood. And if this was really Willow, why was he armed with daggers when he could easily do any number of things to them with magic without even getting close? “But I'm out of the sorcery business now. I've retired. So, jog on.” He finally let one dagger go to gesture them away. Yeah, Graydon didn’t believe a word of it. It was clear he was just trying to get rid of them.

“My name is Kit Tanthalos,” she said, stepping forward, trying to convince the Nelwyn to hear them out. “My mother is Sorsha. She sent me here to come find you. She told me that once long ago, you stood together against the forces of evil and defeated them. The world needs you again. It needs your magic.”

The Nelwyn stood there, silently measuring her words, until another voice spoke up from somewhere behind the structure.

“It's okay,” the voice said. “She is who she claims to be.”

“How do you know?” the Nelwyn asked back towards the voice.

“I read her mind,” came the reply. And then he stepped out from the gate and towards his friend. A Nelwyn with a wide grin and a staff taller than he was. A magical one, Graydon guessed by the large blue-ish crystal encased in the top. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that this was the real Willow Ulfgood. Willow let out a good-natured chuckle. “Kidding! Had you though, didn't I? I didn't read your mind. It's just…” He looked fondly Kit. “You remind me of your mother.”

“My brother, Airk, was taken by-”

“The Gales,” he said, already knowing what Kit would say. Queen Sorcha had been right. He was expecting them.

“The what?” Jade asked.

Willow continued to address Kit as he filled them all in on the parts they didn’t know. Well, what most of them didn’t know. Graydon was ashamed to admit that he knew more than he let on, but admitting he could understand Pnakotic was not something he did easily. And there was no way he could tell them how he’d hid in his room that night when he heard the whispers commanding the Gales to ‘get the prince’. He hadn’t even thought about Arik, he’d thought they’d come for him. After all, he was the prince that had been touched by darkness so deeply it scarred more than just his skin. Nor could he tell them where he’d heard the Gales say to take Arik without giving away the shameful secret his father demanded he keep. The secret he’d stupidly given away by reading the warning on the wall.

“Your brother's alive,” Willow said. “A prisoner of The Withered Crone, who dwells in the Immemorial City that lies beyond the Shattered Sea. The four who came to Tir Asleen are her servants.”

“I'm sorry, did you say, ‘beyond the Shattered Sea’?” Boorman asked, a hint of worry in his tone. Willow nodded and Boorman immediately turned around to leave. “Okay.”

“What?” Kit asked him.

“Princess, I've travelled all across the world, met some real magical marvins, but I never met anyone who crossed the Shattered Sea. That's where all the maps end.”

Graydon already knew this setting out. He’d even tried to explain it to his father in hopes that he’d see just how perilous it was to send him on this quest. But, as usual, he’d been given no choice in the matter, sent on his way with the encouragement of a dozen terrible threats and a list of atrocities his father asked him to commit that he immediately decided he’d do none of. It had genuinely made him wonder if his father had sent him on this quest in hopes he wouldn’t return. It would certainly give him an excuse to start a war with Tir Asleen, if he could blame them for the death of his only heir… But surely even King Zivian Hastur wasn’t that cruel…

“And that's where we must go,” Willow told them. “Beyond the edge of our world, into the unknown. It's the only way to...” His eyes widened. “-to...”

He faded out, distracted by something he’d seen behind them, and they all turned to see what he was looking at. Willow was looking at his soulmate, who lingered at the back of the group. Also wondering what he was looking at, she turned to look behind her, and then back again when she realised there was nothing there and that they were all looking at her. A look of panic spread over her face, and Graydon felt his heart speed up. Why was Willow Ulfgood walking over to his soulmate? Did he know her? Had he seen something about her? Graydon knew from experience that there was something about her, something he could never hope to name, that drew him to her, even before their eyes met and revealed their connection. But he thought that was perhaps him sensing their connection before it was realised. Or just her natural beauty and passion captivating him…

Still confused as to why, he watched Willow go over to his soulmate and stare at her a moment before stepping closer and pulling down one of her arm warmers

“What... What are you...” Her question died on her lips as he reached up and placed a hand on the crook of her arm, muttering an incantation, his staff glowing brightly, looking almost green like Boorman’s blanket. As he did, Graydon felt the energy of the spell well around them all, making him shift uncomfortably. It had been a long time since he’d been around real magic, and he’d forgotten how it felt under his skin. Not bad, just… overwhelming. He’d felt it earlier in the day during that earthquake too. It made his heart pound, and he tried not to panic at the feeling or worry over what the sorcerer was doing to his soulmate. Willow was good. He wouldn’t hurt her.

When the incantation was complete, the Nelwyn pulled his hand away to reveal a mark on her arm that had not been there a moment before. A mark of an all too familiar rune that had Graydon’s heart stopping in his chest.

It couldn’t be…

But despite all logic, his every instinct screamed that of course, it was. How could it be anything else? How could she be anyone else?

“You shouldn't be here,” Willow told her seriously before a fond smile touched his lips, “but it's so good to see you, Elora.”

“Did he just say...” Kit couldn’t get the name out. Everyone was too shocked, their eyes wide as they looked at one another. But Graydon couldn’t take his eyes off his soulmate – off Elora.

“No, you've made a mistake,” she stuttered. “That's not... I'm not... I'm nobody!”

The insistence made something surge up in him, something protective that made him want to tell her it wasn’t true. That she was someone. Someone incredible, someone passionate, someone sweet and kind, someone talented… someone important – to the world. To him.

But Willow spoke before he could break out of his stupor.

“You are Elora Danan, Last Blood of Kymeria, future Empress, High Priestess, Semprum Sorceress of the Nine Realms, and the world's last, best hope against the evil coming to destroy us all.”

“What?” she said dumbly, too stunned to say much more.

And Graydon completely understood why. It was a shock to find out something like that. He could only imagine what it would be like for her. It was already bewildering enough to know that his soulmate was…

It sounded impossible… and yet, somehow, it felt so right. Something inside him told him that yes, of course, she was. There wasn’t a doubt in his heart that Willow spoke the truth. It’s who she was all along and who he had been waiting to meet his entire life.

His soulmate was Elora Danan.

#Willow Wednesday #willow 2022 #willow series #willow #Graylora #elora danan #graydon hastur #graydon x elora #willow tv series #soulmate AU

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secret-kkh-fics · 1 year

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secret-kkh-fics · 1 year

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Shades of Gray Snippet 2

Instead, he had fallen to the back of the group alongside his fiancée where they had walked in silence for a few hours, both consumed by their own thoughts.

“I wanted to say, um…” Kit suddenly spoke, drawing his attention. “I'm sorry... About the way I behaved.” He blinked, surprised by the sincere apology, and looked down to hide his reaction. His expressions didn’t always match what he was feeling, and it always made his father angry. He didn’t want to make Kit angry, especially not since she was being nice and apologising to him… and especially because it took him a moment to realise she was apologising about the way she’d acted at their engagement dinner. “It was... I was very childish. And...”

“You weren't?”

His soulmate was in love with his betrothed’s twin brother.

She scoffed. “Trust me, that won’t be a problem.”

“And what about our responsibility to unite the realm?”

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secret-kkh-fics · 1 year

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Here's the first half of my Graylora colour's soulmate AU. I can't find Kase's rank, so I gave him one.

Crown Prince Graydon Hastur’s heart beat frantically in his chest, practically trying to break out of his ribcage, as he pressed up against a tree, trying to stay as invisible as possible. It was beating so loudly he was certain that whoever was following could hear it from where they were. He could hear the muted thumps of their horse’s hooves on the soft grass of the clearing but couldn’t bring himself to even peek around the tree. Not even as Boorman launched himself from his hiding place at the incoming enemy, closing his eyes tight at the thuds and grunts and sounds of the ensuing scuffle.

“Hey! Put me down!!!” a distinctly female voice echoed through the clearing. His eyes snapped open.

“Uh-uh. Absolutely not,” Kit scoffed. Clearly she knew who this was.

“I want to help rescue the prince!” the girl argued.

“Tough. Go home.”

“You don’t understand!” she continued. “We’re in love.”

Oh.

...Not that it mattered that she loved Prince Arik anyway. It’s not like it mattered to him. He was engaged, after all.

“…I don’t know how to break it to you,” Jade said delicately, “but Arik’s been in love with-”

“Not like this!” she cut her off passionately. “Not like us!” She was met by a lot of rolled eyes from some of the people who knew Arik well. She sighed in frustration. “You think I’m a fool. Fine, I don’t care! What we have comes around once, maybe – if you’re lucky. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for each other!”

“Have you ever been in a fight?” Kit asked the girl, her frustration barely hidden.

“You mean, like… verbally?” He couldn’t help but smile at the response. It was funny and adorable. Though, the snickers from the others he knew were making fun of her.

“I mean, like, defending yourself against someone who wants to hurt you.”

“No,” she said. “Have you?” He couldn’t help letting out a low ‘Oooh!’ under his breath as he finally moved out from behind the tree, watching as the fair woman verbally sparred with the others bellow him. “I can do other stuff,” she continued, turning imploringly towards Jade, Boorman and General Kase. “Whatever you need - tend horses. Somebody’s gotta cook, right?”

“Are you any good?” Boorman asked, perking up at the mention of food.

“I’m phenomenal!”

This time he grinned. She certainly was confident. He wished he could be as confident and passionate as she was.

“She’s not coming with us!” Kit groused.

“You heard the Princess,” Kase told the girl as he led his horse. “You’re going back to Tir Asleen at first light.”

Kit turned to look at him sharply. “What?!”

“What? It will be dark soon. She can go back in the morning.”

Before Kit could argue any further – something he was quickly tiring of – he took a step forward to the top of the hill and finally drew attention to himself.

“So, what can you cook out here?” he asked the girl.

She turned sharply to look at him, surprised having forgotten there was another in their party, and his breath caught in this chest. He had thought that her voice was lovely, and her delicate features were beautiful… but that was nothing compared to her luminous eyes. Her brilliant eyes locked with his, and after a second they blew wide. He found himself doing the same, his mouth falling open as he was suddenly overwhelmed by an assault to his senses, the world around him burst into intense vibrancy. The shades of grey he’d known his entire life being chased away by what he could only assume was colour. It was so much all at once, almost giving him a headache, and he looked about wildly to take it all in. He saw the colour of the sky above them, something he’d always been told was blue, and the green of the trees – indeed the colour of the girl’s shawl. He didn’t yet have a name for the shocking colour of Jade’s hair, unlike anything else around them.

Amongst all the new mess of colours, the girl stood out like a bright, fair beacon, looking about as frantically as he was before their eyes locked once more. The stunning blue colour the first he’d ever seen…

“…Oh shit!” she gasped.

“What, did you forget your ‘magic’ muffins?” Kit scoffed.

They both ignored her. “Oh shit,” he echoed the girl… No, not ‘the girl’. His soulmate.

“Wh-what? No!” she protested. Graydon wanted to protest as well, but he was too stunned to talk. “He- I- It- …I’m going to forage some ingredients.”

“Hey! You’re not staying! ,” Kit shouted as his soulmate fled into the treeline in the other direction to him. “Ugh. She’s going to get killed out there.”

“Shut up and kill me a possum, Princess!” she shouted back. Kit scowled, muttering something under her breath and Jade was attempting to hide a smile.

“I… I’ll get some firewood,” he stuttered. “You need fire to cook, right? Yeah. Firewood. Cooking. Firewood… Cooking…”

Muttering as his mind swirled with chaos, he turned and wandered aimlessly into the trees behind him.

“Well, that was weird,” he heard Boorman say.

It was ten minutes later that Graydon realised he hadn’t even looked at the ground let alone picked up a twig for kindling… And he might be a little lost. Which way was the clearing?

“Hey! Put me down!!!” a distinctly female voice echoed through the clearing.

A young woman by the sound of it. Certainly not the voice horrible Bone Reaver or one of the Gales that Graydon had imagined was following them with the intention of eviscerating them and tearing them limb from limb.

Cautiously, he peeked around the tree to see that the others had already all jumped out to attack their stalker, only to stop short seeing a thin young woman with pale skin and light hair he assumed was blonde. She was wrapped in a knitted shawl as dark as the trees around them… so, possibly green - though he’d never been able to tell ‘colours’ apart very well when they were a similar shade of grey - and wore a scowl as Princess Kit scoffed as they approached. The girl was… pretty.

“Uh-uh. Absolutely not,” Kit scoffed.

“I want to help rescue the Prince!” the girl argued.

“Tough. Go home.”

“You don’t understand!” she continued. “We’re in love.”

Oh.

So, she was in love with Prince Arik… Of course, she was. The prince was handsome and charming, and any person could easily fall for him. He’d seen several women and men swooning over him while he flirted with them at dinner the night before... Not that it mattered that she loved Prince Arik anyway. It’s not like it mattered to him. He was engaged, after all.

“…I don’t know how to break it to you,” Jade said delicately, “but Arik’s been in love with-”

“Not like this!” she cut her off passionately. “Not like us!” She was met by a lot of rolled eyes from some of the people who knew Arik apparently very well. She sighed in frustration. “You think I’m a fool. Fine, I don’t care! What we have comes around once, maybe – if you’re lucky. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for each other!”

“Have you ever been in a fight?” Kit asked her, her frustration barely hidden.

“You mean, like… verbally?” He couldn’t help but smile at the response. It was funny and adorable. Though, the snickers from the others he knew were making fun of her.

“I mean, like, defending yourself against someone who wants to hurt you.”

“No,” she said. “Have you?” He couldn’t help letting out a low ‘Oooh!’ under his breath as he finally moved out from behind the tree, watching as the fair woman verbally sparred with the others bellow him. “I can do other stuff,” she continued, turning imploringly towards Jade, Boorman and General Kase. “Whatever you need - tend horses. Somebody’s gotta cook, right?”

“Are you any good?” Boorman asked, perking up at the mention of food.

“I’m phenomenal!”

This time he grinned. She certainly was confident. He wished he could be as confident and passionate as she was.

“She’s not coming with us!” Kit groused.

“You heard the Princess,” Kase told the girl as he led his horse. “You’re going back to Tir Asleen at first light.”

Kit turned to look at him sharply. “What?!”

“What? It will be dark soon. She can go back in the morning.”

Before Kit could argue any further – something he was quickly tiring of – he took a step forward to the top of the hill and finally drew attention to himself.

“So, what can you cook out here?” he asked the girl.

She turned sharply to look at him, surprised having forgotten there was another in their party, and his breath caught in this chest. He had thought that her voice was lovely, and her delicate features were beautiful… but that was nothing compared to her luminous eyes. Her brilliant eyes locked with his, and after a second they blew wide. He found himself doing the same, his mouth falling open as he was suddenly overwhelmed by an assault to his senses, the world around him burst into intense vibrancy. The shades of grey being chased away by what he could only assume was colour. It was so much all at once, almost giving him a headache, and he looked about wildly to take it all in. He saw the colour of the sky above them, something he’d always been told was blue, and the green of the trees – indeed the colour of the girl’s shawl. He didn’t have a name for the shocking colour of Jade’s hair, unlike anything else around them.

“…Oh shit!” she gasped.

“What, did you forget your magic muffins?” Kit scoffed.

They both ignored her. “Oh shit,” he echoed the girl… No, not ‘the girl’. His soulmate.

“Wh-what? No!” she protested. Graydon wanted to protest as well, but he was too stunned to talk. “He- I- …I’m going to forage some ingredients.”

“Ugh. She’s going to get killed out there,” Kit said as his soulmate fled into the treeline in the other direction to him.

“Shut up and kill me a possum, Princess!” she shouted back.

Graydon looked about at the others, the bright colours of their clothing and the overwhelming green of the forest making him dizzy. “I… I’ll get some firewood. You need fire to cook, right? Yeah. Firewood. Cooking. Firewood… Cooking…”

Muttering as his mind swirled with chaos, he turned and wandered aimlessly into the trees behind him.

“Well, that was weird,” he heard Boorman say.

It was ten minutes later that Graydon realised he hadn’t even looked at the ground let alone picked up a twig for kindling… And he might be a little lost. Which way was the clearing?

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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Romantic Question Prompts

Some romantic dialogue prompts for your next story!

“Did you get the flowers?”

“Can I take you on a date?”

“Have you ever felt like this before?”

“Can you take me home?”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“Will you marry me?”

“Can you feel it?”

“What do you think is our song?”

“Did you get home safe?”

“Have I told you today that I love you?”

“Can you stay with me?”

“How do you like your breakfast?”

“Can I kiss you right now?”

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

“What is your ideal date?”

“Can I see your beautiful smile?”

“Please, can this moment last forever?��

“Will you still be here tomorrow?”

“Why do we have to get out of bed?”

“Can you feel my heart beating?”

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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About the Author: ask game

Enjoy this random list of questions I found in my docs. Feel free to send any of them in :) or reblog them if you would like to be asked questions too!

What got you into writing?

Have you ever incorporated real relationships/friendships into any of your fics?

Is writing just a hobby or is it something you would like to pursue as a career?

How long have you been writing for?

When you face writer's block, what helps you to unblock?

What kind of setting do you prefer to write in(in bed, at a desk, music, no music, etc)?

What do you enjoy most about writing?

What is your favorite fic that you have written?

What is your favorite fic that you have read?

What authors on tumblr (or any other fanfic site) do you admire/look up to?

What was the hardest fic/story that you have written?

Do you have any fics planned for the future that you're excited about?

What was the first fic you ever posted?

What is the most recent fic you've posted?

What is one fic you always find yourself rereading?

Do you prefer writing original characters or reader inserts?

Do you prefer reading original characters or reader inserts?

What are the main fandoms you write for?

Out of that/those fandom(s), which character is your favorite to write for?

Which is/are your favorite character(s) to read for?

Which fanfic are you especially proud of?

Do you prefer to write AUs or stick to canon?

Which AU is your favorite/least favorite to write?

Which AU is your favorite/least favorite to read?

Does anyone outside of tumblr (or any other website) know you write fanfiction?

Have you/would you ever share your writing with someone you know personally?

What is your favorite/least favorite trope to write?

What is your favorite/least favorite trope to read?

Do you prefer people sending their reactions to your fics via ask, reblog, or comment?

Are there any reactions/comments on your fics that you will never forget?

How did you feel when you posted your first fic vs how do you feel when you post a fic now?

Have you ever regretted sharing your writing with people?

How old is your blog?

What name do you like to go by on Tumblr? Is it real or a nickname?

Where are you from?

When is your birthday?

Do you have any siblings? How many? Are you the oldest, middle, or youngest?

Are you close with your family?

Would you rather live in one of your fandoms worlds, or bring a character to ours?

Which fictional character would you bring to our world, if given the chance?

Where are three places you would love to travel to?

What decade would you visit, if time travel was real? Why?

Would you rather travel to the past or future? Why?

Do you have a happy place? Where is it?

What is your comfort food?

Do you like to cook?

What is your favorite/least favorite food?

What is your favorite/least favorite drink?

Nature or Indoors?

Coffee or Tea?

Cooking or Baking?

Cookies or Brownies?

Hot Coffee or Iced?

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Morning or Night?

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Beach or Forest?

Summer or Winter?

Rain or Snow?

Sunshine or Rain?

Your birthday or Other people's birthday?

Writing or Reading?

Movies or Reading?

Live action or Cartoons?

Cats or Dogs?

Half empty or Half full?

Pick a question you have been dying for someone to ask

Share anything you would like about yourself

A message to your followers

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Advice to new writers

Share a line, or ten, of a new or old wip

Share a childhood memory

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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About the Author: ask game

Enjoy this random list of questions I found in my docs. Feel free to send any of them in :) or reblog them if you would like to be asked questions too!

What got you into writing?

Have you ever incorporated real relationships/friendships into any of your fics?

Is writing just a hobby or is it something you would like to pursue as a career?

How long have you been writing for?

When you face writer's block, what helps you to unblock?

What kind of setting do you prefer to write in(in bed, at a desk, music, no music, etc)?

What do you enjoy most about writing?

What is your favorite fic that you have written?

What is your favorite fic that you have read?

What authors on tumblr (or any other fanfic site) do you admire/look up to?

What was the hardest fic/story that you have written?

Do you have any fics planned for the future that you're excited about?

What was the first fic you ever posted?

What is the most recent fic you've posted?

What is one fic you always find yourself rereading?

Do you prefer writing original characters or reader inserts?

Do you prefer reading original characters or reader inserts?

What are the main fandoms you write for?

Out of that/those fandom(s), which character is your favorite to write for?

Which is/are your favorite character(s) to read for?

Which fanfic are you especially proud of?

Do you prefer to write AUs or stick to canon?

Which AU is your favorite/least favorite to write?

Which AU is your favorite/least favorite to read?

Does anyone outside of tumblr (or any other website) know you write fanfiction?

Have you/would you ever share your writing with someone you know personally?

What is your favorite/least favorite trope to write?

What is your favorite/least favorite trope to read?

Do you prefer people sending their reactions to your fics via ask, reblog, or comment?

Are there any reactions/comments on your fics that you will never forget?

How did you feel when you posted your first fic vs how do you feel when you post a fic now?

Have you ever regretted sharing your writing with people?

How old is your blog?

What name do you like to go by on Tumblr? Is it real or a nickname?

Where are you from?

When is your birthday?

Do you have any siblings? How many? Are you the oldest, middle, or youngest?

Are you close with your family?

Would you rather live in one of your fandoms worlds, or bring a character to ours?

Which fictional character would you bring to our world, if given the chance?

Where are three places you would love to travel to?

What decade would you visit, if time travel was real? Why?

Would you rather travel to the past or future? Why?

Do you have a happy place? Where is it?

What is your comfort food?

Do you like to cook?

What is your favorite/least favorite food?

What is your favorite/least favorite drink?

Nature or Indoors?

Coffee or Tea?

Cooking or Baking?

Cookies or Brownies?

Hot Coffee or Iced?

Sun, Moon, or Stars?

Morning or Night?

Home cooked meal or Take out?

Being alone or Being around people?

Movies or Shows?

Beach or Forest?

Summer or Winter?

Rain or Snow?

Sunshine or Rain?

Your birthday or Other people's birthday?

Writing or Reading?

Movies or Reading?

Live action or Cartoons?

Cats or Dogs?

Half empty or Half full?

Pick a question you have been dying for someone to ask

Share anything you would like about yourself

A message to your followers

A message to your mutuals

Advice to new writers

Share a line, or ten, of a new or old wip

Share a childhood memory

Something that scares you

Something that excites you

Something that annoys you

Something that brings you joy

Something you want to try

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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About the Author: ask game

Enjoy this random list of questions I found in my docs. Feel free to send any of them in :) or reblog them if you would like to be asked questions too!

What got you into writing?

Have you ever incorporated real relationships/friendships into any of your fics?

Is writing just a hobby or is it something you would like to pursue as a career?

How long have you been writing for?

When you face writer's block, what helps you to unblock?

What kind of setting do you prefer to write in(in bed, at a desk, music, no music, etc)?

What do you enjoy most about writing?

What is your favorite fic that you have written?

What is your favorite fic that you have read?

What authors on tumblr (or any other fanfic site) do you admire/look up to?

What was the hardest fic/story that you have written?

Do you have any fics planned for the future that you're excited about?

What was the first fic you ever posted?

What is the most recent fic you've posted?

What is one fic you always find yourself rereading?

Do you prefer writing original characters or reader inserts?

Do you prefer reading original characters or reader inserts?

What are the main fandoms you write for?

Out of that/those fandom(s), which character is your favorite to write for?

Which is/are your favorite character(s) to read for?

Which fanfic are you especially proud of?

Do you prefer to write AUs or stick to canon?

Which AU is your favorite/least favorite to write?

Which AU is your favorite/least favorite to read?

Does anyone outside of tumblr (or any other website) know you write fanfiction?

Have you/would you ever share your writing with someone you know personally?

What is your favorite/least favorite trope to write?

What is your favorite/least favorite trope to read?

Do you prefer people sending their reactions to your fics via ask, reblog, or comment?

Are there any reactions/comments on your fics that you will never forget?

How did you feel when you posted your first fic vs how do you feel when you post a fic now?

Have you ever regretted sharing your writing with people?

How old is your blog?

What name do you like to go by on Tumblr? Is it real or a nickname?

Where are you from?

When is your birthday?

Do you have any siblings? How many? Are you the oldest, middle, or youngest?

Are you close with your family?

Would you rather live in one of your fandoms worlds, or bring a character to ours?

Which fictional character would you bring to our world, if given the chance?

Where are three places you would love to travel to?

What decade would you visit, if time travel was real? Why?

Would you rather travel to the past or future? Why?

Do you have a happy place? Where is it?

What is your comfort food?

Do you like to cook?

What is your favorite/least favorite food?

What is your favorite/least favorite drink?

Nature or Indoors?

Coffee or Tea?

Cooking or Baking?

Cookies or Brownies?

Hot Coffee or Iced?

Sun, Moon, or Stars?

Morning or Night?

Home cooked meal or Take out?

Being alone or Being around people?

Movies or Shows?

Beach or Forest?

Summer or Winter?

Rain or Snow?

Sunshine or Rain?

Your birthday or Other people's birthday?

Writing or Reading?

Movies or Reading?

Live action or Cartoons?

Cats or Dogs?

Half empty or Half full?

Pick a question you have been dying for someone to ask

Share anything you would like about yourself

A message to your followers

A message to your mutuals

Advice to new writers

Share a line, or ten, of a new or old wip

Share a childhood memory

Something that scares you

Something that excites you

Something that annoys you

Something that brings you joy

Something you want to try

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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send an ask: get to know your author

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

4) favorite character you’ve written

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

8) favorite genre to write

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

12) your weaknesses as an author

13) your strengths as an author

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

15) why did you start writing?

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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Rating: Mature

Relationship: The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov

Words: 3872

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

Darklina Server Mythology Event - Pania of the Reef AU As Aleksander walked quietly through the forest, breathing in the cool night’s air, he saw a soft glow ahead. Curiosity drew his feet closer until he came to the edge of a clear stream that chattered softly in the dark, joined by the refrain of a voice so sweet his heart stuttered in his chest. If her voice had made his heart stutter, it all but stopped when his eyes landed on Alina. Her body glowing gently, illuminating the darkness as she washed her starlight white hair. His breath caught in his chest and his feet froze in place, for he had never seen anyone so beautiful in all his years. Alina is a glittering star, a protector of the skies. One night when she descends from the heavens, she meets a mysterious man shrouded in shadows and falls in love. But those who are torn between two worlds rarely have a happy ending…

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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the plot chickens

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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He wants to make a deal

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secret-kkh-fics · 3 years

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Light Casts a Shadow - Chapter 5

Due to this not being posted anywhere else yet, please like but DON’T REBLOG my fics.

Chapter Index | First Chapter | << Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >>

Chapter Summary:

In the aftermath of the chaos that was the night of the Winter Fête, Alina has to adjust to her new status, and has a go at the Darkling for hiding even more things from her.

Author Note:

Ha! Well, while the previous chapter may have been a lot shorter than expected, this one ended up being WAY longer. I’m honestly not sure how it ended up that long! Good thing I split the chapters up because these two were supposed to be one.

More sad. More fluff. Enjoy!

A Delayed Correspondence

Upon waking, Alina found herself wishing she was a Shadow Summoner instead of a Sun Summoner. Her head hurt, and the bright light was still shining down into her room. She would give anything to be able to cast the room in darkness with only the flick of her wrist. Instead, the best she could do was groan and roll over and throw the blankets over her head. But her entire body felt like lead, and even that was a struggle.

She felt like the few times she’d drunken too much kvas, but she knew she’d had less than a glass the night before… the champaign, on the other hand. No, she hadn’t drunk too much last night. But it had been a rough night all the same.

The longer she lay there awake, the more memories returned to her, and the more she wanted to burrow under the blankets and never come out.

Baghra was Aleksander’s mother and a Shadow Summoner.

Aleksander was the Black Heretic.

He was ancient, and he also wanted to kill the King and use the Fold as a weapon and had considered making her his slave to do it.

Marie was dead.

And Mal hated her.

Nope. She wasn’t coming out of her cocoon.

“It’s about time you’re awake!” Genya’s voice called as she walked into the room. Alina just let out a loud groan and curled into an even tighter ball. “I told you your head would try to tell you there’s such a thing as too much champagne.”

“It wasn’t the champagne, Genya.”

There was silence for a moment, and then she felt the bed dip as Genya perched on the side she wasn’t bundled up on. “You heard about Marie,” she said gently.

Alina nodded, though she doubted Genya would understand what the moment under the blanket was. “Al- General Kirigan told me last night.”

“Ah, so he did find you.” There was an edge of amusement to her voice that Alina really wasn’t ready to deal with right now. “I heard that you went missing for a while. There was even a full-blown search party, not that most people noticed. Something about kidnappers.”

“The only kidnapper was Baghra,” she grumbled.

“I see.” There was a pause. “I also heard that you were seen leaving the Generals rooms very early in the morning.” It was true, but there was something in her tone that made Alina actually sit up, poof the covers away from her face, and look at her. “Of course, the gossip mill is already going, and there’s several versions. Some say that you snuck out half-dressed with a bunch of flowers. Some say you were looking rather… dishevelled.”

“All Saints,” she groaned.

“Others say that you were seen running back to your room in tears.” She just gave a noncommittal hum in response, and Genya frowned in concern. “I can tell you’ve been crying. You’re a mess,” she said affectionately, reaching out to smooth some of her hair.

“Are you okay?” Alina asked.

“Better than last night.”

Alina nodded but paused and shot Genya a look when she took a bite of a pastry she didn’t realise her friend had been holding. “…Is that my breakfast you’re eating?”

Genya froze, her eyes widening slightly before swallowing and swiping a dot of jam from her lip. “Perhaps,” she said, shrugging delicately. “You weren’t eating them, and they were going stale out there.”

Alina couldn't help but laugh at her friend’s sheepish yet indignant expression. “I’d sort of lost my appetite by the time I got back.” As if the sight of food had sent a reminder directly to her stomach, a loud growl filled the room. “I could definitely eat now, though. I missed dinner.”

Genya shook her head in exasperation, a fond smile on her face. “Come on, let’s get some food in you.” She helped Alina to her feet, and the two moved into the parlour where the tray of pasties still waited.

The two of them talked for a little while, touching on their worry of the break-ins and assassination attempts. Genya told her in a little more detail about what had happened, and they mourned their friend. She had Tailored away the bruising from where the bullet had struck her already. She seemed to be handling it alright, ever the soldier. She sounded more surprised that David had seeked her out and had been worryingly babbling on about ways to improve corecloth. And even more so that the Queen had fretted over her that morning, treating her and making sure she was okay, something the woman hadn’t done for her in a very long time. It was clear that it had baffled the Tailor.

They tried to move on to happier topics, which of course, included asking about the rumours she’d heard. But no matter how much Genya tried to pry, she said as little as possible about the night before. That was not a can of worms she was ready to open just yet. Still, she couldn’t help blushing when she tried teasing her about coming out of Aleksander’s rooms so late. She’d tried to defend that they had been talking about important things, but she was not fooling her one bit. Her unwillingness to tell her what they’d spoken about and how flustered she became at the memory of what had happened earlier in the night confirmed Genya’s ideas, and her teasing only increased.

Soon, she was being ushered to the bathtub, where they continued to chat while she scrubbed herself clean. Noticing faint bruising on her arm, she did her best to hide it from Genya, not wanting to worry her friend or talk about the fight. The hot water did wonders for her stiff, aching body, and she begged to hide away in the room, warm and relaxed in the bath. Her pleading was to no avail, and Genya only Tailored away her puffy eyes and laughed as she hurried her out of the tub to get dressed.

As Alina finished dressing in her skirts and tunic, Genya came over with her kefta over her arm, a look of trepidation on her face. It was the black kefta she carried, not the blue… just as she’d requested the day before.

“Are you sure?” Genya asked her.

Alina looked at the garment, reaching out to touch the soft fabric. If she put this on, she knew what it would mean. His colours. She would be seen as his equal. She would no longer fit in with the rest of the Grisha. She would stand above them. But last night had done that for her anyway. Last night had made her a Saint in the eyes of many.

Last night she had made a deal with Aleksander to stand by his side, to work with him to achieve his plots and goals. She had made him open up to her and agree to compromise. She had madeherself his equal. And it was time that she showed it.

She wasthe Sun Summoner.

“Yes,” she said confidently.

“You know what it means…”

Alina nodded. “Yes, I do.” She let out a deep breath. “I’m ready.”

“Good morning, Alina, Genya!” was the friendly greeting they received the moment they opened the door to see Fedyor’s grinning face. “Or should I say good afternoon-” He cut himself off as he took her in properly, his eyes flicking over her kefta before he sunk into a deep bow. “Moya Soverennyi.”

Alina inhaled sharply. She knew what wearing this kefta meant, she’d been prepared to be treated differently, but she hadn’t been expecting that. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it either, especially when it was her friend saying it.

Still… at least it was better than Sankta, at any rate.

“Fedyor, please. Just Alina.”

He smiled at her. “Of course, Alina. Though, I probably shouldn’t around the General.”

She nodded, accepting that she would have to get used to the title in certain situations. She had chosen power. She best get used to all that came with it. But amongst friends, there was no way she’d be anything other than Alina.

“Did you get any rest?” she asked, concerned that he was already outside her door.

“Yes, I got enough,” he told her. “I have not been here long. Ivan got less sleep, but we both slept till midday.”

Her brow furrowed hearing that. “What time is it?”

“Almost three in the afternoon,” Genya told her. “You slept a long time.”

“I didn’t get to sleep until after the sun was up.”

Even then, she had to have at least gotten six or seven hours of sleep. She needed it, as exhausted as she was. And it was still a vast improvement on her restless, insomnia filled nights before she’d learnt to summon at will.

Fedyor nodded. “Neither did we. But we managed to get those two search teams out, so whoever tried to kidnap you won’t be out there much longer. In the meantime, the General has called for a meeting in his war room. It has been going for a little while now, but he wants us both there as soon as you were awake.” He began walking in the direction of the Darkling’s suite, and she followed automatically.

“He wants me at a war meeting?” she said in surprise.

“Of course.” He gave a pointed look at her black kefta.

“Right…”

She was his equal now. Or at least, she was trying to be. They were working together now, no longer an ancient man trying to move her about like the queen on his chessboard. She supposed that him inviting her to his war meetings was a way to do that. To include her in his dealings. And, she supposed, it showed to everyone else that she was his equal too.

Walking down the hall, there were a few Grisha about, but not as many as she’d expected. They walked hurriedly by or stood near the walls having hushed conversations. Everyone seemed quieter than normal, eerily so. It was incredibly jarring compared to the frivolity of the night before. As she passed them by, they stopped their quiet conversations, noticing her and dipped their heads in her direction. They all appeared sombre, but the respect they now held for her was obvious.

“Is everyone okay?” she asked Fedyor quietly.

“News of Marie’s death and the attacks at the Fête was broken to everyone at breakfast this morning,” he told her. “Some are grieving. Those who aren’t are worried about the break in security.”

Her gut turned. “Is Nadia okay?”

Genya’s mouth pressed into a grim line. “I checked in on her before I came to you. She hasn’t left her room since she heard the news. But I suppose she’s doing as well as one can after losing their best friend. Her brother is keeping her company, and other Etherialki have been popping in, so at least she’s not alone.”

Alina nodded, fidgeting with the fabric of her kefta. “Good. That’s good.”

It was only moments later that they arrived at the large double doors emblazoned with a silver sun in eclipse.

“This is where I leave you,” Genya told her, giving her a tight hug. “But I’ll see you later, alright.” She suddenly smirked. “That is if a certain General doesn’t take up all your time.” She wagged her eyebrows teasingly, and Alina’s eyes widened.

“Genya!” she hissed incredulously, swatting at her friend. Her heart hammered at the implication, drawing a snigger from the Heartrender beside her, and she aimed her glair at him instead. “Don’t you start!”

“Sorry,” he said unrepentantly, his grin still wide.

Saints, these two were going to kill her. She couldn’t even think of her brief almost-romance with Aleksander. She was still too preoccupied with the fact that he was the very Shadow Summoner who created the Fold and what that could possibly mean for her from here on out.

With one last sly wave, Genya departed down the corridor, and Fedyor knocked loudly on the door. A moment later, Ivan opened the door and allowed them in once he saw who it was before heading back to stand behind the Darkling. There were several people standing around the war-table now, many that she recognised as the Darkling’s higher-ups. There was at least one Grisha from each order and a few Oprichniki. Aleksander stood at the head of the table, leaning against it heavily as he had the other night when she’d found him there alone… In the same place where he had placed her only the night before as his hands roamed her body, his lips insistent against hers.

A blush bloomed across her cheeks as the memory came back to her, and an odd thrill shot through her at the thought that no one around that table knew what had almost happened on top of it only hours ago. Only her and the man whose dark eyes now rose to meet hers across the table, a barely suppressed smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

She cleared her throat, straightening her spine and trying not to look like a bashful teen. “General,” she greeted.

“Miss Starkov. I’m glad you could join us.”

The Etherialki nearest to her lowered her head in respect with a murmured, “Moya Soverennyi.” As the others all noticed the kefta she now wore, they all bowed, echoing the title, at least one of them murmuring, “Sankta.”

To her surprise, even Ivan dipped his head in respect, and she blinked in shock.

“I was just informing everyone of the details of last nights events and what is happening moving forward. I would have had you here sooner, but I felt you were in need of more rest.” Alina did not miss Ivan’s eye-roll behind him and had to bite her lips to keep from reacting. By the twitch of the Darkling’s eye, she had the feeling he knew why she was doing that. “So, in short… Arken Visser was apprehended at the scene last night and, after questioning, was executed for the attempted assassination of the Sun Summoner and the murder of Marie Kovaleva. He revealed that he broke into the Little Palace with three others, criminals from Ketterdam who were offered one million kruge to kidnap the Sun Summoner. They were not involved with the assassination plot, which was entirely General Zlatan’s design. But though they thankfully weren’t successful in their attempts, they are still guilty, and Fedyor has dispatched a capable team to hunt them down and bring them back to the Palace for questioning and trial.” Beside her, Fedyor nodded in agreeance.

“You are already aware of the situation with Nina Zenik,” he continued, and she nodded in reply. “We’ve made plans to increase security around the Little Palace and find any weaknesses in our defences. We are also in damage control, trying to keep news of last night’s events from getting out of the Little Palace. It’s likely the King has a spy or two within our ranks that may report it to him, but the main concern is making sure the populace doesn’t hear of it, or we could have a riot on our hands that would rival the days of the Palace’s creation. And finally, our spies in Shu Han have reported extra activity since your discovery, rumours of a new weapon.” He looked about the table. “Was there anything else someone wanted to add about this before we move on?”

The table was silent a moment, everyone looking about at each other to see if someone would speak up before a chorus of ‘No, Moi Soverennyi’ filled the room.

“Very good. Onto the next matter.” He began shuffling papers, looking for the ones he wanted. Alina blinked rapidly, stunned by how rapidly things had gone since she had arrived. She’d seen him command a room, but she had never seen him get down to business quite like this. It was strange to see, and she stood with wide eyes just trying to keep up.

“We have news of Morozova’s stag. We know that the Stag was seen somewhere north of Churnast.” He placed a small wooden carving of a white stag on the map. “Unfortunately, we’re not entirely sure, whereas we’ve lost the source of this information.” He placed another piece of paper down on the table. Her drawing, now covered in dried spots of blood.

The small sound of distress she made drew the attention of everyone, and Fedyor looked at her in concern, no doubt because of how fast her heart was pounding in fear. She barely noticed, her wide eyes fixed on the man across the table. The Darkling’s brows were raised as he looked at her, but one of the Fabrikators spoke before he could say anything to her.

“North of Churnast, does that mean it could be in the Permafrost?”

The Darkling looked at him and nodded. “It’s a possibility we have to consider. This means that we would be crossing into Fjerdan territory.”

“General Kirigan,” she managed to say, her voice high and strained. He looked at her once more, waiting for her to continue. “I-” The words stuck in her throat. “You said…” Her eyes flicked about to the other people in the room, full of distress. She couldn’t exactly bring up what they’d spoken of the night before in front of all of them. She doubted they had any idea of his plans, despite being his chosen council. Thankfully, the Darkling realised what she wanted to discuss, and his head tilted up with authority.

“You’re all dismissed,” he addressed the others. “I need to speak to Miss Starkov alone.”

The sound of shuffling and murmurs broke out around the room as the council separated and headed out of the room. Fedyor placed his hand on her arm and informed her he’d be out in the hall if he was needed before slipping out with Ivan. And the two were left alone in the room, the silence heavy between them.

Slowly, the Darkling walked around the table until he was beside her. “What’s wrong, Alina?” His tone gentle but firm.

Her mouth worked silently a couple of times before she was able to get the words out. “I thought that you said you weren’t going to put a collar on me!” she hissed, tears welling in her eyes.

There was a brief look of surprise and realisation on his face before his impassive expression came back once more. She hated that impassive mask. “I said I’d rather you help me willingly, Alina. I have no intention of forcing you to wear it.”

“Then why are you still looking for it?”

He turned to look at the table, leaning heavily against it, and she did the same. “Because war is brewing around us on every front. Our people, Grisha and Otkazat’sya alike, are dying by the dozen every day. It’s only a matter of time until one of our enemies make a move, and we need to move first. Strike before they can. So, no matter our final decision on what we do with the Shadow Fold, you need to be able to control it. You’ve learnt so quickly, but you’re still not strong enough to handle the Fold on your own yet.”

Alina nodded, understanding that part, but she still looked down at the map in trepidation, fear curling in her gut at the idea of him placing a collar on her and channelling her powers. The thing she’d worked so hard to accept and grow, stolen away from her. She didn’t even notice her hand drifting towards her throat.

Aleksander seemed to realise what she was thinking and quickly moved forward, placing his hand on hers on the table, giving it a gentle squeeze. “We will find the Stag, and you can kill it. That way, its power will all be yours, Alina. And, if need be, I can lend you some of mine.” He sent the call through her, and she felt her power rise to meet him, her skin glowing faintly and her heart giving a strange tug as if being pulled towards him by a tether. She let out a deep breath as the familiar sensations of surety and euphoria raced through her. She felt it every time they touched, and she was sure it was only getting stronger. His fingers laced with hers, and her heart tugged once more. “Just think of what we can do together, with my power and the Stag’s amplifying you.” He looked back at the map, his brow furrowed in concern. “If we manage to find it.”

“Mal could find it,” she said automatically. She almost winced, trying not to think of the night before. Aleksander’s hand instantly withdrew from hers, her power fading away with his touch. She shivered from the loss, though it wasn’t the sudden absence of her sunlight that made her grow cold. “He’s the best tracker I know.” She looked at him imploringly, not sure why she felt she had to justify this to him, why she felt like he was drawing away. “He always has been. As a child, we’d go into the meadow, and he would just… find things. Anya Kuya used to say that he could make rabbits out of rocks. He could point out the nearest partridge in the trees or grasses without even seeing it. If anyone could find Morozova’s Stag, it’s him.”

Aleksander rubbed a hand across his mouth, his eyes flitting about in an almost nervous way she hadn’t seen before. Something was wrong…

“Alina I…” He stopped and let out a deep breath. “I need to tell you something. I didn’t want to, after everything yesterday. After Marie. But you have the right to know.”

Trepidation filled her, her heart beating as fast as a hummingbird. “What is it?”

He looked up at her, his eyes intense and earnest. “Your friend, Malyen, is dead.”

The world stopped.

Everything began to spin, the world tilting on its axis. Her breath held tight in her chest for so long she lost track of time. And when she finally drew breath again, it was on a choked sob. Her head shook back and forth harshly, denying what she’d heard. It wasn’t real. It just couldn’t be. There was no way he could be dead.

Not Mal.

Not her stupid best friend. The loveable idiot who had been her home for so many years. He couldn’t be gone. She’d just seen him that morning…

She thought of everything they had said, and it pained her that the last things they’d said to each other were words of hate. That she had let him walk away with a spiteful comment about ‘hoping’ no one killed him as he abandoned her.

Oh, Saints!

Alexander took a step forward to comfort her, his hand already reaching out to cup her face, but she instinctively took a step back, still shaking her head, and he stopped where he was. He looked anguished as he watched tears stream down her face. She could practically feel his need to comfort her, to soothe her pain. But she didn’t think even he could do that. And she didn’t want him to.

“Wh-How?” she croaked out. “When?”

“Baghra,” he told her softly. “She had him killed last night before he could tell me where to find the Stag. He wanted to see you first, but I told him he would have to wait until after the Fête.” He scowled. “No doubt she sent someone loyal to her to kill him, Grisha, Oprichinki, I can’t be sure. But she did make sure to come and rub it in my face once it was done.”

“Last night?” she repeated, and he nodded. “Before you found me?” He nodded once more. This time a look of guilt and worry crept on his face, and she imagined he likely thought she was upset he hadn’t told her earlier. But that was the last thing on her mind right now.

Air filled her lungs, making her dizzy. The world breathed again, though it didn’t stop spinning. Laughter bubbled up within her, incredulous and hysterical. She felt herself almost collapse in on herself in relief, and Aleksander looked at her in mild concern. He was used to all sorts of reactions to grief by now, but that’s not why she couldn’t contain the hysterical laughter.

Mal had said someone had tried to kill him. That one of the Oprichniki had taken him to a hovel near the woods… Baghra had rubbed Mal’s death in his face last night.

“Alina…” She could hear the concern in his voice as she continued to laugh hysterically. His look was now incredulous, and she could practically hear him say, ‘you’re laughing? I tell you your best friend is dead, and you’re laughing?!’

It just made her laugh harder.

“I saw him this morning,” she gasped out, attempting to get her emotions under control. “He’s not- He’s not dead.” She wiped the tears from her face, though they kept flowing, and leaned heavily on the table. “He’s not…”

“You saw him?” He moved closer to her, and this time she allowed him to take her hand. He squeezed it tightly, grounding her and making the world stop spinning so much. The familiar sensation of his amplification washed over her, bringing a calm with it that helped immensely. She took some deep, calming breaths and nodded, wiping at her eyes again. “Tell me everything.”

“It was on the way back to my rooms,” she said, her voice still wavering slightly. “I was halfway down the hall when he suddenly pulled me into a servant’s corridor. Gave me one hell of a scare. I thought the kidnappers had come back for me and really regretted insisting on not having an escort.” She shrugged. “But it was just Mal.”

“He evaded the guards? Even after they’d swept the area a dozen times?” His brow was furrowed in concern, and a smile tugged at Alina’s lips.

“He always was good at hiding. He used to hide from Ana Kuya all the time. And he got forgotten in more games of hide and seek than I can count and came back hours later very upset. Trust me, there’s no issue with the guards. He’s just that good.”

“I see.” He didn’t sound convinced. “And what happened then?”

“Well, he was hurt. A wound on his side. He said that an Oprichniki took him out to a hovel near the woods and tried to kill him. He said it was on your orders.”

“Alina, I wouldn’t-”

“I know,” she told him quickly, squeezing his hand. “He said he’d been tracking the Stag, and I knew that you at least wouldn’t kill him until you had it.”

“Glad to see you have such a high opinion of me,” he muttered.

“He wanted me to go with him.” Aleksander stiffened. “He tried dragging me off, but I wouldn’t let him. I told him I wanted to stay here. I… We got in a fight.”

He glowered. “What kind of fight?”

“Just an argument,” she said quietly. “Not physical or anything.”

Again, the Darkling didn’t look convinced, and it wasn’t until his grey eyes zeroed in on their hands that she realised she’d unconsciously begun rubbing her wrist. Carefully, he brought their still joined hands closer to him, and pushed back her sleeve to reveal the light bruising that lingered there. They’d been light enough she’d been able to hide it from Genya this morning, but now, under his scrutiny, they looked stark against her pale skin. Large fingerprints pressed into her skin where Mal had grabbed her.

The Darkling’s glower intensified, and she knew that if Mal was here, he’d be dead in an instant. Successfully, this time. She could feel the fury rolling off him and reached up to place her hand over the one holding up her sleeve.

“Aleksander, it’s fine,” she told him. She gently pulled her arm away from him, smoothing the sleeve down, and he frowned, his eyes still glued to her wrist. Despite his anger, there was something indescribable in his eyes, the way he looked at her when she said his name.

“He hurt you,” he growled.

“He didn’t mean to. He just didn’t want to leave me here. But…” She shrugged. “I chose to stay.”

“Again.”

She nodded. “Again.” That look was back in his eye. Pride, delight, desire. He was happy that she had chosen him yet again. “He didn’t like that. He left.”

This made his brow furrow once more. “Left, where to?”

“I don’t know.” She shook her head helplessly. “He just said… He just said he was never coming back and walked off down the hall. I went back to my room.” She tried to be nonchalant, but her voice cracked as she spoke, giving her away.

Aleksander’s hand reached up once more and cupped her cheek. “I’m sorry he left,” he told her. “But I’m glad you stayed.”

“What would you do without your Sun Summoner?” she tried to joke.

He tensed, his hand falling away. His mouth grew into a grim line, and he looked away from her. “What indeed,” he murmured.

The silence grew heavy around them once more, the same tense atmosphere as the night before, like there was just too much that neither of them was saying.

“This argument…” He eventually said, his voice quiet and thoughtful. “It happened after you left here last night?” Alina nodded. “And you were feeling angry, upset, annoyed, betrayed?”

“Is there another way you’re supposed to feel during a fight?” She tried to smile, but it fell flat.

He huffed a chuckle. “No, I suppose you’re right.” Still, he looked thoughtful, almost perplexed.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Nothing,” he told her, his brow still furrowed. Alina raised a sceptical eyebrow, and he bowed his head sheepishly, knowing she wouldn’t let it drop. “Well, for one thing, I don’t like that a mere boy was able to evade my guards while the palace was on high alert. And I’m regretting not pushing harder last night and commanding you to be escorted back to your room. If it had been someone less pleasant…” She nodded in agreement. In retrospect, considering all that happened, she had been lucky it was only Mal. But she could also tell that that wasn’t what had him so pensive. That wasn’t enough reason for him to look as calculating and confused. So, she continued looking at him expectantly. “There is something else I’m considering,” he admitted. “But I’m not even sure what it is yet. When I have a better idea, I’ll let you know. Promise.”

“You better,” she mumbled.

He smiled at that before his face fell back into one of concern. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Alina nodded. “I’m not brilliant, but I’ll survive,” she assured him. “We just had some… differences to work out…”

“Let me guess, he thought you lied about being Grisha and doesn’t particularly like that you are one?”

“Among other things.” She was about to ask how he knew when she remembered part of the argument. How they’d shouted at each other, annoyed that the other hadn’t written to them… Suspicion crept into her mind that maybe it had less to do with Mal or the postal system and more to do with the man before her. Her eyes narrowed. “And you!” She suddenly poked him hard in the chest, and he looked down at her finger, affronted. “Why the hell did Mal not get my letters? Why didn’t I get any of his?”

The Darkling just looked at her a moment. There was trepidation in his expression but no remorse. “Ah,” he said simply.

“Ah? Ah! That’s all you have to say? You stopped them being sent, didn’t you?”

The emotion was wiped off his face once more as he looked down at her. “I did what I felt was right, Alina. I won’t apologise for that.”

“How was cutting me off from my oldest friend ‘what’s right’?!” Her voice was shrill, and she whacked him on the chest for good measure. A part of her was in disbelief that she was hitting the most powerful person in all of Ravka, that she was hitting the Black Heretic like it was no big deal. The larger part of her was too pissed off to care.

Instead of physically stopping her as Mal would when she whopped him one, the Darkling simply folded his arms over his chest and leant back against the table, moving just out of her reach. She gave up her attack and settled for looking at him in annoyance. He just looked back at her, studying her with that look that said, ‘I’m hundreds of years older than you, and I know better’.

“Alina, tell me,” he said firmly. “If your letters to Mal had gone through… if you’d received his, would you have trusted anyone else here? Would you have trusted and opened up to me, to Genya, Nadia, Marie…” He left the last name pointedly hanging in the air a moment, and tears filled her eyes thinking of her sweet friend who had died being her decoy less than a day ago. “Or would you have closed yourself off and trusted only him?” She opened her mouth to answer, but he cut her off. “Be honest.”

“I don’t know… maybe. He was all I ever had.”

“Yes, he was. But he doesn’t have to be all you have forever. I know you see it as cruel, but I knew there was a possibility... From the moment we met, you’d been asking for him. Before you’d even left Kribirsk you were trying to go find him. Ivan said you were practically screaming at him from the carriage and kept trying to bargain to go back. And then trying to find a way to go back to him once you reached the Little Place or bring him there. He was all you spoke of. And while I didn’t want you cut off from him as you were, I couldn’t have your only contact being an Otkazat'sya.”

She glared in annoyance, her fists clenching at her sides. “What does that have to do with anything?! Just because he’s not Grisha, doesn't mean-”

“Before you knew you were one, what did you think of Grisha, Alina?” he pressed her, raising his brows as he silently demanded an honest answer. “Before we discovered who you were and took you to the Little Palace, and you began to accept yourself and make friends, what did you think of Grisha? What did he think of Grisha?”

Alina was silent long enough to know that he’d proved his point, and she watched as that hint of a smug, knowing smile tugged at his lips. Though, with how quickly it disappeared, she knew he was making an effort to not show it. She sighed. “We thought the same as everyone else. That Grisha were arrogant, self-important jerks who got every luxury and thought they were better than us because of it. Maybe a little scared of them. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with being Grisha, just that they all had an attitude problem.” She was silent for a moment, twisting her hands together as she looked at her feet. “I guess Mal had some issues he never mentioned.” She let out a dry chuckle. “Well, he did say that Grisha women scare him. Which is rich, considering he apparently tumbled Zoya.” Her voice was bitter, but she didn’t care. Aleksander just continued to stare at her with raised brows. This little bit of information appeared to be news to him - amusing news at that. “Would you stop looking so amused!” she snapped.

Aleksander grinned. “I would say I’m sorry, but we are trying to be honest with one another.”

Alina levelled another glare at him and would have whacked him on the chest again if he were closer. However, the glair fell away into uncertainty as she dwelled on another horrible idea that had popped into her head when she realised he’d kept the letters from her, knowing that he had manipulated her. Hesitantly, she voiced her concern.

“So it wasn’t some… some isolation tactic? Cut me off from my only friend, so I had to turn to you?”

The Darkling stiffened. “Alina, if I wanted to isolate you, do you think I would have sent Genya? Do you think I’d even let you get close to Nadia, Marie, Fedyor, any of the other Grisha? I can assure you, if I’d wanted you isolated, you would have only seen myself and a few guards. And it would have been as simple as saying ‘it was for your protection’ or ‘your training is of the utmost importance, and I can’t afford to leave your care to anyone else’. I didn’t want to isolate you. I wanted you to thrive.” He took a step closer to her, reaching up to her, but thinking better of it and retracting his hand. “This is your home, and I meant it.”

He was right, of course. She knew it. She could only imagine all too easily how he could have used the power at his command to make sure that she saw no one but him. He would have been her lifeline, her only point of human contact. She may have hated him for it a little bit, but she would have been dependant on him. Hatred would have turned to fondness in her desperation to not be alone, to be accepted.

“You shouldn’t have kept those letters from me,” she grumbled.

“Maybe not, but I couldn’t risk you closing yourself off any further, and what’s done is done.” His tone was final, and annoyance rose up within her once more.

“If you’d just talked to me to at the start, asked me to try and make friends instead of trying to control my actions!”

“And you would have trusted that?” he shot back. “When you first got here, Alina, it seemed like you tried to do everything but what I asked of you. You clung to your old life and refused to accept who you were.”

“Well, maybe that wasn’t your decision to make!” she snapped.

“Wasn’t it? We needed our Sun Summoner, and we needed her fast. Do you think the King would have let you idle here and learn at your leisure? No, he expected results, and he expected them fast. Trust me when I say that the consequences would not have been pleasant. The command of Lantsov Kings never are.”

“So, you cut off my contact with my best friend because of a king you hate?”

“When did you learn how to summon at will?” he suddenly asked her.

“What? What does that have to do with anything?! You-”

“Alina,” he said more firmly, staring her down. “When did you learn how to summon at will?”

He knew. And even worse, she knew that he had a point. She hadn’t even realised that she had connected the feeling of pushing down her power with staying with Mal until she was so mad at him, she didn’t want to be with him. She had thought that if he didn’t want to respond to her, then she didn’t need him, and she had felt the sunrise up within her, ready to burn in her fury. But rather than exploring that more, she’d held onto that thread of power and run straight to Baghra’s hut.

“You stopped asking about his letters around the same time. My only guess is that it’s because you let him go. Why is that?”

Alina sighed, stroking the place on her hand where her scar used to be. “I realised… I realised that I’d been holding back for him,” she whispered. “That I’d felt the light rising up inside me all the time. But I pushed it down and ignored it, because even as a child, I knew that whatever it was would tear him away from me. He was the only one I had for so long, I didn’t want that. So, I… I pushed it down and forgot about it. I kept this part of me trapped for so, so long. And it was… a relief to let it go.” Her voice lowered to barely a whisper as she spoke, her thumb pressing even harder into her scarless palm. “Letting him go.”

“I knew that something must be holding you back,” he told her gently. “I thought that perhaps it might have been something to do with your parents or heritage. I’ve seen too many Shu refugees with Wasting Sickness. As you can imagine, being discovered as Grisha on that side of the border is worse than a death sentence. The parents that don’t hand their children over to the authorities often teach their children to suppress their gifts. Better a slow death of their own making than the torture Shu Han scientists would inflict. But then, you kept speaking of Mal, and I knew it must have something to do with him. I don’t make mistakes.” She raised a sceptical eyebrow. “…I don’t make mistakes often,” he amended.

“Did you even think they were mistakes?” she bit back.

Aleksander shrugged. “Does anyone walk into a situation knowing it’s probably a mistake?”

“I did last night,” she said before she could stop the words. “Walking back down that secret passage instead of escaping, I kept wondering if I was making the right choice. I knew you at least wouldn’t kill me, but that’s the only assurance I had.”

Hurt flashed across his features for the briefest moments, but he nodded in understanding. Turning away from her, he looked back at the table, toying with the figurine of a soldier. A part of her laughed at how appropriate that was.

“Do you still want them?” he asked quietly after a moment, making her look at him in surprise.

His question made her pause, and it took her a moment to realise he was talking about Mal’s letters. “You still have them?”

A slight smile tugged at his lips. “I managed to not destroy them in a fit of jealousy,” he joked in his deadpan way. “I must admit, the fireplace was very tempting.” Trying to hold back her own smile, she reached out and gently hit him across the chest again, making his genuine smile light up his face.

“I… I think I want to read them,” she admitted. His smile faded at this slightly, and she gripped his sleeve. “I need to at least know what he said.”

He moved through several expressions before lowering his head. “It’s not all nice, Alina,” he told her. “Your tracker seemed to use his letters to process things. And while some are…” He pulled a face. “Incredibly mawkish, others are… Well, saying he doesn’t like Grisha is a kind way of putting it.”

Alina’s mouth set in a hard line. “I know,” she said. “He definitely let his feelings be known when I saw him.”

The Darkling frowned, unhappy to see her so upset at the words of a mere boy. He could tell that the two had some co-dependency issues, based on what they’d written. He’d hoped that had been broken, but seeing Alina so upset, despite the results, was not something he wanted.

After staring at her a moment longer, he turned sharply on his heel and strode towards his desk. He reached under the desk and pressed the two secret levers that popped out the hidden drawer. From one of the compartments, he pulled out the small stack of letters and held them out to her.

Alina watched as he held a small parcel of papers towards her. He wasn’t looking at her, avoiding her eye, but she noticed when his head drifted back to the drawer, and his hand darted out, grabbed something else and popped it in his mouth. As he chewed, he looked back up at her with wide, innocent eyes, taking in her expression of confusion and curiosity. He looked back down at the drawer before pulling another one and holding it out to her.

“Would you like one?”

“Is that… a sweet?” she asked incredulously.

“Yes.” He continued holding it out to her, waiting for her to take it.

“You just have sweets lying in your drawer?” To her surprise, his cheeks and the tips of his ears tinted pink, and his eyes flicked down to said drawer. Before he could say anything else, she dashed forward, ignoring the sweet in his hand and leant over his desk to look inside. She was giddy to see that other than a few other folded up papers, most of the drawer was filled with neatly sorted candies. There were more sweets in that one drawer than she had ever seen in her entire life. Her mouth popped open in shock at the realisation.

The Darkling was a sweet tooth. A sweet hoarder!

“General!” she admonished.

Aleksander fidgeted awkwardly, no longer holding the sweet out to her. She watched as he tilted his chin up defiantly, his brows raised but mirth in his eyes despite the stern expression.

“You know my one true weakness, Miss Starkov,” he told her. “I’m afraid that I can’t let you live.”

For a second, fear shot through her, but then a burst of laughter escaped her at the absurdity.

“That drawer has at least five times more sweets than I’ve ever seen my life!” she gasped. “I think that with what you’ve done, you owe me more than one!”

Aleksander’s lips pursed, and his eyes narrowed. Then, he sighed.

“Very expensive taste,” he muttered. He reached into the drawer once more, selecting several different candies and balancing them on top of Mal’s letters, once more holding them out to her.

With hesitant, shaking hands, Alina took them.

Author Note:

Honestly, half of the letter scenes were writing way back when I first started. It’s great to finally work them into the story.

Things are going to get sad next chapter. I promise I’ll make it up to you all later!

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