seema-inthesky

[seema-inthesky]

SAD

In October 4 years ago I was diagnosed with lupus.

As much as I am now ok with it , as much as I hate october.

no matter what , it still a painful cribbelling condition to make amend with.

Today out of nowhere it just hit me.

Ahhh, It been long hard four years of being like this , and it doesn't end here , its gonna stay with me for the rest of my life , it doesn't make it any less hard by being somewhat ok in my career life , it doesn't matter that i have supportive family and friends , because at the end of the day , I am here alone in my room crying “alone” , whether I like it or not , I am facing this alone , this is a sole battle I am going through.

I know life goes on, I know i will be laughing tomorrow, and I know the pain doesn't last.but it still hard ,honestly really hard.

it doesn't make it any easier that other people with less conditions than mine are complaining about their pain, its not okay that people doesn’t know what I’m going through give me advices about my acne and my weight which was caused by taking steroids for 3 and half years.

Its not fair that I was refused in a marriage proposal because of my condition,

it hurts,

it hurts so much.

and I don't know what to do.

it actually felt nice to cry it out loud

I really don’t know where this cloud of sadness just came from.

lately the thought “ maybe I am better alone” came to mind , but on days like today I wish I had someone by my side.

#sad #Lupus #diary blog

[seema-inthesky]

I am scared and tired

[seema-inthesky]

..

Why am I feeling this way?

Is it shame?

Is it disappointment ?!

I feel so lost, so away from Allah..

I despise myself for doing what I did..

And I feel so lonely

I don't think I ever felt this way before

Like I need someone to talk to...

I feel like everyone is so distant..

Everyone is so concerned about their own life..

About their own struggle..

I shouldn't be feeling this way..

I got what I wanted..

But something feels off..

Like a missing piece of a puzzle.

Am I exaggerating my feelings?

Its not depression, nor anxiety..

I am just sad..

But with no obvious reason..

[seema-inthesky]

How strong is your faith?

[seema-inthesky]

I got a job :)

I got a training program just like I prayed for.

My prayers were answered.

It all started on 20th of April when I got a call saying that I can go to this medical center to have six months training with minimum wage and full time work, it may seem ridiculous, but I was happy, I was satisfied, it's what I wished and prayed for, because in all my 12 interviews I did, all was a failure due my lack of experience. So I thought this is my chances, the doors of life are finally opening.

So on 21st I went to the center, the staff were nice "I see everyone as a nice person until they prove me otherwise" there was an other doctor in the same position as me, but the only down side is that I had in mind that I would do a real training, like going in a rotations, like every month or something I would be trained in different department, and if I am good enough and lucky enough I would be hired as a full time Doctor, but boy was I wrong, it's very silly of me actually, I know how bad the world is, I know how opportoinitist the people is, and everyone knows how private medical center only care about money.

Anyway, what happened was that I was stationed in the covid-19 swabs, no rotations, no training, no nothing, all the training I got was from a younger doctor than me on how to do swabs, she did a bad job at it too, I was so disappointed in what reality had for me , I mean it wasn't bad at the beginning, I had my rest I had my breaks, but somehow later on I was on my foot for 6-8 hours leaning in for swabs for almost 20% of what others doctors at the same center were erning, I mean what do they have and I don't?

But I kept praying, I kept talking to Allah asking for the best, cause I know my own abilitys, I know my own worth, I know I can do much more,

And on 4th of May, with only 20 minutes to my shift, with my eyes barely kept open due lack of sleep in morning shifts in Ramadan, exactly at 13:39 I received an email stating that I can go the following day to go sign my contract of Clinical Masters in Family Medicine.

I was so lost of words my mind kept flying, my heart was beating out of my chest my hands were trembling, what contract? What sign, why there isnt my name anywhere, is this some kind of sick joke, or stupid mistake that this was sent by mistake? Or was I really accepted, should I call my sisters? Should I text them? Or should I ask my BFF? Should I call the University just to be clear? But I ended up just sending a reply asking whether I got accepted or not...

A thousand thoughts came to mind, I couldnt set, I couldn't stand up, and there was travelers to be swabbed, I actually did one swab with out protective gloves just because my mind wasn't really functioning, of course I washed my hands fully throughly afterwards, and wore gloves for the next person.

At 13:56, I got an email titled " Acceptance letter"

And this is when the doors of haven opened up for me, I knew my prayers were answered.

I have never ever felt so grateful for a moment like this, I was overwhelmed overjoyed with gratitude.

You can see that in my previous ranting that I was depressed, I was hopfull and hopeless, you can picture of sort of a place I was in, but because of Ramadan, because of the holy atmosphere, I really felt certain that Allah would only do what best of me, I was certain that I only got this dream to come true because I had complete faith in Allah plan for me, and I was consistently reassured by my dreams

Alhumdullah is all I can say, All praise to the Mighty one, All thankfulness is to the Great One.

All since that day I keep remembering that moment, the letter, the gratefullness I felt, the best feeling ever since the day I was born, I feel so amazing, I feel like the world is smiling at me again, I feel the world is finally in synchronize with my inner self, I beginning to climb the stairs that I stared at the first step for a full year.

I brought a journal at November 2020, just to keep my life a little more organized, to keep in check of what is happening, every month I would started with being hopeful and ending it with feeling disappointed, but it helped, not wanting to feel disappointed I started to attend online courses, to update my resume, I started to go to hospitals and give them my C.V to the HR, until end of January I accidentally ran into the owner of one of the medical centers who offered a job right there on the spot for a training position (( it was a failure too, ended up with the owner choosing one doctor out of 6 training doctors and dismissing us in a very very rude way)) at that time I was applying to the Masters program, and the owner knew about it, it's basically the reason I was dismissed so quickly, I cried so much, I didn't expect to be so sad about it, it was way too far for me, I wasn't getting paid, the workload was no joke, but I was so disappointed in my self for believeing in people, for believing that I finally got my chance, that I had so much confident that I was a valuable asset that I wouldn't be so rudely dissmessed, but after a while I realized how lucky I am for not continuing there.

You see, Allah has a plan for every one of us, every fall, every rise, evry left and right turns, its impossible to be left in the fall without having a rise

"""Chapter 94 Solace سورة الشرح - Al-Inshirah: Verse 5

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا

So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: View more verses"""

What Quran is saying here that by default, that with every hardship comes with along is a solution.

You see If I hadn't went to that first medical center, in my masters interview, I wouldn't have that much faith in my self, I would have thought that I am failure that after 9 interviews no one was willing to take me, I would have felt to much pressure that the Master program interview is my last resort ( which in a way it is) but having at that time a place were I can see my self working, wearing my lap coat, carrying my stethoscope is enough a push to have a little faith in myself, and with my humble experience in my 12 interviews is the first and biggest thing you could have in an interview " Confidence", you should make them sorry for not having you, but that alone is hard to achieve if you are desperate for a job.

But things do work out, have faith and everything will be fine.

Look at me after a year of unemployment, after 12 interviews, after so many tears, I got my Ted talk moment, I got where I want to be.

Yours who's currently over the moon with happiness

seema actually in the sky.

[seema-inthesky]

When feeling this way will ever stop?

[seema-inthesky]

Do you know your value?

[seema-inthesky]

They say what you kindly give is what you desperately need.

#personal blog #diary #here and there #kindness #need

[seema-inthesky]

Am I hopeful or delusional?

[seema-inthesky]

23/12/2020

There is a verse in the Quran "Musa said: by no means; verily with me is my Lord; He shall guide me"

He says this as he is in front of the ocean with the enemy behind his back , and in reward of his faith the ocean split in half and he passes through.

What amazes me and what is always is on my mind is how much faith in a simple verse contains, we know that there is Allah, we know he has a great plan for us, but do we have a complete faith if we stand between the enemy and the ocean?!

You see I am not talking particularly about the ocean and the enemy, just in simple life worries, what is next? What should I do?

I want to have the faith that splits the ocean, to have complete faith in his plan for me. But I can't help but worry, I just feel like I need constant verification, or just a solid prove that things will be okay.

This year has been really tough, emotional wise, at February we lost our nephew at 13 months of age due a sudden fever and sepsis, later on June we found out that my uncle has lung cancer, and it only took him like 2 months and he passed away, and on November we lost my dad's aunt due pneumonia. All of them had a very special place in my heart and their absence had left a very deep impact on me.

And now all I think about is who's next? I know this is very pessimistic way of thinking, but like I said it's out of my hands, it's like this dark aura that surround my thoughts, afraid of whom Iam going to lose, to the point of wishing that I will be next, this is very selfish of me, to not bear the heavy weight of loosing a loved one, wishing my own death.

It's not like suicidal kind of thought, it's just too much worries makes it like kind of heavy to carry on, and what way to get rid of that heaviness is other than wishing to end it all.

What I really feel it's like this big lump is sitting inside my heart, like a very big cramped dark lump, I live my day normally, wake up pray eat and spend my day in kind of peaceful manner, but this heavy lump lives with me, the worries the grieve the scary unknown future.

I am turely afraid of what tomorrow hold for me, I keep doing coffee reading and tarot card reading to have a glimce of the future, to be reassured that tomorrow will be better, I keep waiting for something to happen, but I stay stuck at the beginning of the stairs, staring at those who is ahead of me, who climbed and having their life started.

You see these movies and Ted talks about how having a slump, how having too much "No"s will end up being good for you, I am patiently waiting for that to happens for me.

I keep praying that tomorrow will be better, I keep praying that I will be closer to Allah, I keep praying to increase my faith, to have that reassurance I am looking for, and deep down I feel I will find it someday.

I had this dream yesterday that I am running in this wide shallow beach, like the water is just an ankle deep and the water was so clear to the point of reflecting the beautiful sky and clouds while my father looked at me with satisfied smile from afar , and I woke up with peaceful mind, reassured for a brief moment, and Google says that this dream means that something good will happen soon.

I know I am contradicting myself, but this what I am feeling the mixture of hopelessness, worries and hopefullness of what tomorrow holds.

#diary blog #diary #personal blog #worries #thoughts #hope

[seema-inthesky]

24th of October

These days I have been zoning out more than usual, and when I do , it’s not like I’m overthinking, or too deep into a thought , my mind is just goes over the clouds for some reason.

If I stop and think what is exactly wrong , the list is just too long

- Unemployed 26 years Doctor .

- Autoimmune disease and still don’t know how to manage .

- 26 single female.

- currently not doing anything useful to my career life.

- I spend too much unnecessary money.

- I’m so far away from Allah.

- for some reason I can’t get rid of my bad habits.

- I always end up staying up too late even though I have nothing to do.

And the list goes on , and I have no idea how to get out of this vicious cycle, it’s like Iam trapped , in my own little box , no matter what I do I would end up staying in the same little box.

I have tried different solutions, like writing up a to do list , but I only stay committed at first as I have no motivation. I would say what’s the point ? Why am I doing all this for ? Is it for me ? Do I deserve this change ? Am I worth the change ? It’s no use , being jobless and hopeless is eating me up.

What Iam really afraid is if nothing happens now , it will never happen , it feels like now or never kind of thing , but the situation is freezed up , nothing is changing and I feel like handcuffed and like something is holding me up from changing, I don’t know what holding me up , is it my own mentality?

Is it really as simple as a change of mindset? Or is it something more deep and more complicated than that ? I believe in destiny and fate too much “I don’t know if it’s related for being Muslim or not” but I really do deeply believe in it , like even if a red car passed me that day on that specific time and date it is meant to be , even in the smallest insignificant events , so I do believe that my position in life is meant to be , but at the same time I know I shouldn’t be just standing around doing nothing.

But Iam tired all the time , I have no energy, is it related to the lupus ! Or is it just sadness ? Or is it the beginning of a depression?

Every night I would come up around 12 am trying to sleep , and I would feel really exhausted, and I would lay down on my bed , then I would stay up until 5 Am scrolling from manga story to another and they are all related to the romance section, I must really be longing for love , it’s really embarrassing for 26 years girl who hadn’t experienced love even once , despite having a crush for every period of my life.

Any way and that would ended up in me waking up around 1 Pm the next day ( or the same day to be more accurate) and then spend the entire day switching between the ongoing Asian drama I mentioned in the previous ranting ( which by the way all in the romance category) I don’t know of that is normal or not, but I am slowly watching my time being wasted , being gone with no actual use and knowledge.

I tried forcing my self to read a few pages from a book and from a non-medical book every day , I hope the pages would start to increase by it self , and I would slowly start to change.

Yours seema who is lost the sky.

#personal blog #personal #lost #unemployment #sad #tired #romance #wasting your life #wasting time #wasting away

[seema-inthesky]

It's October seventeenth.

Amazing what can happens in few weeks,

I am currently an unemployed Doctor who is only volunteering in the covid 19 pandemic.

I had a chance in the past month to get out from the unemployment, but it was all in vain, and I still remained the same due lack of experience in the medical field,

It's very painful to see the days pass by wasted like this, but due the pandemic the choices are very limited, despite the fact that I am not doing much to get the experience needed.

And as you may know I am now on my second year since I was diagnosed with lupus, and since the beginning I was placed on low dose cortisone tablet, I realise that being on low dose supposedly doesn't make you fat, but I have been struggling with loosing the extra weight, it just keeps accumulating very slowly over time, and since my other drug is based on my weight, I had come to an end to start loosing the extra weight, so I have been doing keto diet for almost 2 weeks now, and I have lost almost 3.5 kg so far, since the diet is very restrictive and very lacking in the fruits and vitamins side, I had decided that I would only try it for a couple of weeks, just to get to a specific weight, and get out of it really gradually, I still need 3 more kg to loose and I would be very satisfied, even though in the past 3 days, not much progression has been made but its probably due the fact that my period is around the corner.

Other than that I am now currently in quarantine due being the same place as my sister in low who had been diagnosed with covid 19, our whole family is negative, but due the regulations we are in home isolation for 6 days, I have been watch a lot of ongoing Asian drama, just to get the time passing, 3 Korean and 3 Chinese

1. Love in time 🇨🇳 8.5/10

>> loving the chemistry between the lead <<

2.love is sweet 🇨🇳 7.8/10

>> the story plot is nice, not too much twists <<

3. First Romance 🇨🇳 7/10

>> it gives a nice lifting mood, but I think it got really boring around the end<<

4. Records of youth 🇰🇷 8/10

>> it started to get boring around the end but I like the conversation between the leads <<

5. More than friends 🇰🇷 8.5/10

>>only watched 4 episodes but it has a very good potential, even though all the comments are rooting for the SML, I still have hope for the ML, I think he is cute and very traumatised but he will come around hopefully)

6. Tale of the Nine Tailed 🇰🇷 10/10

>> I am hooked with this one, I love this kind of shows that gets you hooked from A to Z, and the ML is just too charming to ignore<<

And despite that I have this full schedule I still manage to find the time to cook keto meals and read manga stories, cause I like to keep my self busy, even with useless stuff, I don't really enjoy the feeling emptiness and boredom gives me, once you start to overthink its very hard to move on, but like I mentioned, it is the hope and faith in Allah well that keeps us up.

#ketoweightloss #keto dite #lupuswarrior #lupuslife #2020 #personal blog #Shows review

[seema-inthesky]

It’s June 19th

So what happed during last week ?

Unfortunately we had an escalation in COVID-19 morbidity and mortality. It’s the most unsettling thing, people started to be really sacred for their own life , for the life of their beloved elderly.

On more a personal level , I’m trying walking on treadmill every day for at least 40 minutes , not much success, as only out of the 19 days of June nine days were spent working out , and I’m really loving the results despite being on cortisone for 2 years now , I’m finally actually loosing weight , for the last 2 years, I have been dieting on/off for as long as I remember, I would try really hard , trying to overcome my cravings , trying to eat as much as healthy food as I can and actually loose weight , but as soon as I slip my pre-dieting weight would jump right in , and due frustration I would binge eat and actually increase more weight than before, until I hit almost rock bottom, I really hated my self being fat , I hated how round my face is , how nothing fits anymore, A lot of my jeans are unwearable, just hated everything about the whole idea of me increasing weight without a way out of it, to the point of sometime crying about it , I hated taking pictures, it’s like a grey area on my gallry that only contained photos of kids and other useless stuff , but now with me also trying new skin care products ( The ordinary) I’m starting to fall in love with my self again, my skin is much brighter , my weight is decreasing, Iam somehow trying to fix my soul , Plus the volunteer thing , I guess June is gonna be mine.

As you will guess ( no idea who Am I talking to) I’m very emotional chaos , the tiniest thing affects me , may be that’s why I didn’t go into remission yet. Always stressing my self out on useless matters , even though me staying in home away from people had given me some sort of base line kind of feeling, not so much of ups and down , I can fairly say that currently I am happy , still working out some stuff , but generally happy , in my own home between people who love and worries about me.

Well I am now 26 , unemployed doctor , what the family and society wants ? Me getting married, the drumroll heartbeats , the stomachache, the dizziness that every bachelor comes knocking our door..

Iam really romantic as much as I am emotional, always reading/ watching romantic stuff , my eyes would water , my heart would beat , my stomach would have butterflies in every time the heroine gets her love , some specific manga I would read them multiple times just because I love the feelings it gives me , I have so much hope on my own love story, I would say I am worthy of one , but for the last 26 years , I haven’t really been in love , I had crushes for every period of my life, but never been in actual relationship, and now I really would like to try it, not that I have something to do about it , so choosing a life partner , a love by traditional way , well not much in my mangas or movies have much about it being this way , not that I don’t know any couple who got married in traditional way and not in love , it’s just it’s hard for me to actually picture my self , falling in love with someone whom I chose based on one night interview , even work interviews goes in 2-3 tries before landing on one employee , a lot of people say that you would just know , like some heavenly blessing that comes down upon you the moment you see him , I interviewed one man , and as we talked , I could see that , ok it’s not him , I guess saying no is easier than saying yes.

That’s to say I have declared to my family that I would not go into any marriage dates , until I get my weight right , not for anything, it’s just that if Iam not liking myself , how could I expect the other party to like me ?

Anyway it’s not like they are lining up in our front door , but I had a dream the other night , of me going to a fabric store , and buying a fabric with floral pattern in it , plus buying two very heavy books , and according to google , it’s either a very good promotion or a very good husband, which honestly is I’m very welling to both.

Thank you very much for your time.

#diary #seema #diary blog #lupus #SLE #cortisone #weight #dieting #marrige #life

[seema-inthesky]

It’s June 8th.

So , today was my appointment, Due the Covid-19 , it’s done by the phone, I was really nervous about today ، I really hoped my labs would finally be good , since I practically stayed indoor for the whole month of Ramadan, but I guess it takes more than that, and with this month, with me going to the call center, the shift ends and starts at 3PM , and in our dear country, it’s like walking inside of an oven , so not so much good for my lupus.

I clearly try to wear gloves , wear sunblock , wear the mask , when it’s clearly safe in my own car to not wear it, and the sunglasses, Full-On protection, but my doctor says that I still have my lupus markers active, and I still have to be on my cortisone, I’m truly bummed out, but , in Islam we believe that everything is meant to be , everything was carefully written to match our life perfectly, so who am I to object the will of Allah (عز و جل) , I shall wait patiently and pray sincerely and trust in God Plan for me.

I have been going to the volunteer call center for five days now, the first day was hectic, the second day less hectic, the third was a bit organized, and now Iam the master of my task , I’m really getting the hang of things , although in Saturday, I received two calls about two patients with covid-19 “well suspected cases” and came back home with out registering them on the system , to be honest I wasn’t worrying about the cases as much as I was worried about my supervisor perception of me, I mean I was clearly given an easy task , yet I managed to mess it up, you see , the workload suddenly becomes so overwhelming, and everything becomes on top of each other, you are bound to make mistakes, not that’s justify it , the mistake helped me to be more careful actually.

Today was my first ever night shift, I don’t have any problem with staying up late , on some days , I even mange to stay up till 1 pm in the next day, but it’s as long as I get enough sleep before hand , apparently sleep very very essential for us lupus patients, as the stress what actually triggers the whole thing up, so yesterday since I was too nervous about having my first night shift , I wasn’t able to sleep and when 5AM came , my joints, hands , feet was really sore , to the point of not being able to drive with my left hand , I came home took some pain medicine and slept my fatigue away , and now even though I’m a little bit sleepy , my joint is ok now , and I’m doing much better.

Me being sick , gave me a new perspective of life , everything looks so different, I’m more grateful, more hopeful, more believing, more compassion,I guess this is what they call blessing in disguise.

At the same time it helped to get a perspective how we make such a big deal of insignificant things , like the look that person gave me , or the tone of speach someone used , or how someday interrupted my words according to their understanding, I no longer get too hang up about what people did and why they did it , I mean everybody is has there own life , difficulties, problems, have their own reason of doing things , regardless of it being good or bad intentions, at the end , everybody will be accounted for their own intentions and doings.

Stay simple minded , be open minded , there is a lot going on the world , be gentle , and do everything in the name of god , and don’t be too concerned about what your gaining back , be a giver , and always think of the better good.

#diray #diary blog #covid 19 #lupus #personal #mindfullness #thinking #life #friends #?????????????? #SLE #CALL #CENTER

[seema-inthesky]

02/06/2020

So..

This the 2nd day , unfortunately I had my period, low mood and no energy to do anything, but I thank god it’s before I start the volunteer thing.

I get really bad periods, like lying in bed all day with pain killers every 6 hours kind of periods , back in school I would vomit and skip the day I get my period , growing up , knowing when to take my analgesia it became more bearable, this one time after I got my diagnosed , I got it really really bad , it was one of the worst days of my life , I was crying all night , vomiting everything I ate , my mom for the first time in my adult life had slept with me in the living room that night , but like everything else in life , it passes, it passes really hard , but it does pass.

So , yea I end up staying in bed all day , every one in the world knows that I have my period that day , here in our community it’s like a taboo to talk about it , it’s like this big secret that everybody knows about it, but can’t talk about it , two months ago , I had to vomit in front of my little brother, he is really nice and kind , but because of the taboo , he acted really awkward and didn’t know what to do, he just sat there quietly like nothing even happened.

Oh, well, its something you just have to accept this pain , the blood , the mood , you just live with, it’s only a day every month, once it’s over , you get back up and resume your life.

But the mood , ohh the mood , it’s like roller coaster, when I was abroad, my friends would know instantly that I have PMS , cause I get really tensed up , really moody , one time I cried to a classic song in the mall just because of the PMS , they were really shocked of how fragile I was , I learned the hard way how to cry alone.

Specially after I was diagnosed, my crying frequency has definitely gone up , but I guess no body would know , cause I try to do it alone and only to Allah, he is the only one , who would know that what Iam really feeling without the need to explain every feeling I have.

You see that’s the problem with relationships, you have to be clear , you have to organize your words to be heard, to be listened to, you have to translate your feelings into words , which to me is very very difficult, and exhausting task , my last roommate was the kind of person that would demand that ...

I’m a person who needs to be loved and accepted , I don’t like the other person feeling unloved , or annoyed, it was wrong of me , to Interpret every action every word according to my own understanding, it was the downfall of our relationship, now we don’t even consider as good friends , we are just buddies of the same group, I can’t exactly pin point what happened , but it definitely had something of me overthinking on my own and coming up with a conclusions, I hope one day I have the courage to open up to her.

I didn’t tell you everybody about my diagnose , my family , some close friends and that’s it , I just didn’t like the idea of being sympathized, when I first got sick , she didn’t ask how I was doing , so I never exactly told her what I had , it’s not like I just go to everybody and say “ hey, did you know that I was diagnosed with a serious autoimmune disease called Lupus” , even though I actually did that to some of my new friends, but not to an old friend whom I lived with for six years , who didn’t even have the courtesy to even ask how I was doing ,

Any way I talked too much , since you know , it’s that time of the month.

#blog #diray #diary blog #periods #that time of the month #emotional #friends #life #sle #autoimmunelife #autoimmune #lupus

[seema-inthesky]

So..

I have been thinking for a while now that I should make a diary blog , just to not let everything in.

I always like to make everything related to a specific time or date , like if I want to start studying, it has to be o’clock, or if I want to wake up , it has to be 0 or 5.

So today is 1st of June.

So I started this blog, it’s gonna involve a very personal things , very general things , perhaps a movie/series/book review , and very weird dreams , just basically what you would write in a diary.

Today I volunteer in a call center for the COVID-19!, it’s my first time doing something like this , I was so eager to volunteer but I have an autoimmune disease (SLE) and I’m still on cortisone supplements even though it’s a very small dose , but I am on it for almost 2 years now , so it’s better to be safe.

I do hope that I would help the world just a little bit by being in the call center.

Anyway,

This is a diary , so I’m supposed to write about my day

Which was very very boring , I woke up at 12 pm, had my breakfast, played with my nephew Haider , had my lunch around 3:30 pm tried to make a donut, failed to do so , it tasted ok , but the look was a disaster.

finally cought up to The good doctor, the last episode was really not good , why did they have to kill the doctor, I mean they could have resected the ischemic part of the bowel , why did they have to kill such a competent, cute doctor, I was really pissed at the ending there, although shun and lea being back together did put a smile on my face.

Anyway, ended up in watching one romantic comedy (the lovebirds) which was hella cute and funny , and watched ( the lodge) which was really really bad , but I was bored , so why not.

#blog #diary #the lovebirds #the lodge #the good doctor #covid 19 #call center.