Kiba, about Shikako and Sasuke : are they flirting ?
Ino : I think so
Shikako : we are not flirting, we are arguing
Sasuke : we are flirting
Kiba, about Shikako and Sasuke : are they flirting ?
Ino : I think so
Shikako : we are not flirting, we are arguing
Sasuke : we are flirting
Shikako: Somebody told me you sound like an owl
Sasuke : who ?
Sasuke : I hate you
Shikako after too many all-nighters : Bricks are domesticated rocks
Sasuke : stop
Naruto: let her speak
if you’re struggling for AU ideas take a look-see at this list i wrote for my friend who dubbed it “better than the 10 commandments"
1) Coffee shop AU
i) Barista and person who has a ridiculous coffee order
ii) I’m worried about your coffee dependency
iii) you accidentally poured boiling hot coffee over me so you’re responsible for taking me to A&E
iv) you give me a different fake name every time you come into starbucks and I just want to know your real name bc ur cute but here I am scrawling “batman” onto your stupid cappuccino
2) Flower shop AU
i) You buy a weird amount of flowers and I’m concerned as to why
ii) I’m allergic to flowers but I work in a flower shop – you’re a customer who’s very confused as to why I’d do that
iii) (this is also a good way to incorporate flower meanings eg, buying certain colours/types for person to represent feelings etc.)
3) Library AU
i) You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down
ii) I work in the library and I’m a little concerned for your health bc you never stop studying
iii) The library’s pretty empty save for you and me and OH that couple making out loudly in the shelves somewhere
4) Awful first time meeting
i) I accidentally punched you in the face when I was too overexcited about something
ii) I thought you were my friend who’s just done something awful to me (read: cut my hair while I slept, dyed all of my clothes pink, etc. etc.) because you look similar from behind so I stormed up to you and shoved you from behind while calling you an asshole
iii) You get the gist to this one
iv) Oooh when you told me your name I thought you were joking because it’s fucking awful and I made a joke about it and things got awkward real fucking fast (perfect for a Hannibal au just saying)
5) Weird places to meet/awkward meetings in general
i) We live in the same block of flats but haven’t ever talked and Sunday morning we were both doing the walk of shame and had to stand in the lift together
ii) “okay I know that being in the woods at 2am is a weird thing to be doing but my friend called me and- wait, why are you in the woods at 2am, fuck I’m going to die aren’t I?”
iii) A personal favourite of mine – first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night
iv) We keep accidentally running into each other I’m not a stalker I swear
v) You live across from me in our apartments and we smile when we see each other but we don’t really know each other and oh you’re the stripper at my friend’s stag do/hen night fuck this is really uncomfortable
vi) “My shower’s broken but I’ve got a date tonight could I possibly use your shower please?” “Oh sure (neighbour that I’ve been crushing on for the past six months) of course you can use my shower to get ready for your date (fuck fuck fuck)”
6) Friends to romance – pining and all that wonderful shit
i) You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you
ii) I really like you but you’re my best friend’s ex
iii) You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?
iv) Somewhere along the way of getting into bar fights together, staying up all night with movie marathons, other friendship things, I’ve fallen in love with you but oh my god this could ruin EVERYTHING
v) Friends with benefits oh wait I like you
7) FAKE DATING HOLY SHIT I LIVE FOR THIS
i) It’s my highschool reunion and I need a hot date so I can rub it in the faces of the people who hated me
ii) My homophobic parents are coming to visit will you pretend to date me as an extra “fuck you”?
iii) There’s a person who won’t stop bugging me will you pretend to be my partner so that they’ll fuck off?
iv) I told my sister I have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set me up with people but now she’s coming to visit and I’m in too deep I need a fake boyf ASAP
8) Soulmate aus
i) The first words your true love(s) will say to you are tattooed on you and why the fuck are their first words something really ridiculous like ‘I’ll pay you a tenner to punch me in the face’ or ‘quick what’s your favourite animal’ or ‘fucking shit hell holy fuck wow oh my god jesus h Christ fuck me’ etc. or even worse a really ridiculous song lyric like the opening lines of uptown funk or a high school musical song or smthing did you have to serenade me the first time you saw me asshole?
ii) You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or an overwhelming feeling that Thatcher was a good prime minister or an image in my mind of a fucking unicorn
iii) The more ridiculous the better actually
iv) Something like whenever your soulmate sings a duet you can’t help but join in and my fucking soulmate is in a goddamn band but I can’t sing for shit
v) Or maybe something like soulmates always sneeze at the same time and I cant be sure but me and this kid in my French class just sneezed at the same time are we soulmates or was it a coincidence (proceed w character trying to make themselves sneeze around said person to see what’s what)
9) Alternate universes for real
ii) Siren and asexual pirate who doesn’t understand why all his crew are losing their shit that person has a nice voice sure but what the fuck is happening
iv) We live in a world where the greek gods are real and you went and got yourself cursed and now I have to go on a fucking quest to sort this shit out why do I love you again?
v) Pacific rim au (either they’re drift compatible or one of them is a ranger and the other stresses constantly bc what if they die yes I have read a fic like this no I didn’t come up with this one but it’s fucking good) (also if you haven’t seen that film go watch it now)
vi) Literally any movie or book universe you like tbh just go for it
10) Other aus that I like
i) I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck
ii) We work in the same office and you have a goddamn squeaky chair and you wONT FUCKING STOP SQUEAKING IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT ANNOYS ME
iii) Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this
iv) It started to snow and I’m the only one of our friends who would go outside with you – I soon found out why none of the others would go out in the snow with you (this works best if they’re new friends who don’t know each other all that well) when you shoved a handful of snow down my back and declared snow war
v) It’s nowhere near Christmas it’s literally still November would you calm down about Christmas wait no why are you getting the tree out no stop please stop (if you do this pre-relationship you can have the grouchy one secretly finding the other’s excitement endearing and falling in love with them actually that works for established relationship too)
vi) Current partner got a new job in America (or other country far away) and we’re getting by on skype calls and emails but it’s not easy and then I met someone new (can be poly or can be finding the OTP person)
vii) You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses
viii) Carrying on from 10.vii. you’ve caught me checking you out in what I thought was a subtle way too many times and now you’re calling me out on it what do I do???
ix) You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??
x) You were waving at your friend behind me but I got confused and waved back at you and now I’m dying of embarrassment but you think it’s cute
xi) I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious and shut up you dumb fuck you don’t know me aahhh
xii) I’m a waiter at this wedding and you’re a drunk guest who will not stop hitting on me please I’m trying to work no I can’t dance with you omg let me find you some water
xiii) Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”
xiv) You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close and the way you talk is kind of nice actually oh fuck no
Okay I could go on forever but this is over 1,500 words of auing already I have too many ideas christ
send me some to @theskyis-forever with a pairing for me to write :)
We need much more emphasis on the fact that women were running the show while the men were off doing Man Things. Women ran the households. They didn’t just sit sewing - although it was a valued skill. Look at the fact that Queens and Empresses expressed esteem with fine and hand-sewn gifts to keep the favour of their Kings’ allies.
Khurrem, wife of Suleiman the Magnificent of Turkey, who spent much of her life living in a harem was also a diplomat, exchanging correspondence with royal households in several countries, strengthening allegiances with several of them. She corresponded directly with the King of Poland and her household also gifted Elizabeth I with tokens of esteem to curry Elizabeth’s favour.
You had to have a good head on your shoulders to manage a large estate, especially behind the scenes. And it’s worth noting the raising of the Princes of the Ottoman Empire was the purview of their mothers. People make the women of the harem out to be louche and sexy ladies doing nothing all day. These were smart, highly-trained, capable women who were being educated to raise Princes to potentially be Sultan and running their households for them.
I just want books and tv where femininity and historical feminine clothing and roles aren’t shat on in the name of progressive feminism. If I have to read another book where the heroine complains about her corset or her dress ㅡwhich were worn by every women and unless you were a victorian socialite weren’t organ crushing torture devicesㅡ I will scream. Not every female character has to shun sewing and weaving for a sword! Women’s roles and place in past societies were already undervalued and here we go shitting on the key roles of women in the name of modern progressivism. Someday we will get our turn and our clothes, voices, and roles to be spat on by our descendants and maybe I’ll feel a bit better cause hey we kinda deserve to for what we are doing. Like yes women in historical time periods faced significant social challenges due to their gender but we don’t need to liberate them by making them into the men of that time period.
Your female characters don’t have to act like a man to end up being good female characters. Women are allowed to be women and enjoy feminine things and still be strong.
(And sometimes, they ran the country while never once setting foot outside the Harem. Look at the Sultanate of Women some time)
there’s also a lot of evidence that most of the sewing most women did was functional and practical and rarely decorative.
Most people owned far, FAR fewer clothes than they do today. maybe one or two sets of ‘regular’ clothing, and a set of ‘festival/church’ clothing. sewing was valued because, practically, it let you repair and maintain your clothing and the clothing of your family, as well as household textiles like bedlinens. however, for a typical wardrobe, as outlined above, there really isn’t that much sewing required on a regular basis.
Most of the ‘fancy’ sewing was reserved for ‘fancy’ people and, like other middle and upper class pursuits, was a way to show off that you didn’t have to do physical labor all the time and had leisure time to waste.
most women did sew, and for that matter most MEN could likely sew as well. It was a practical skill to have after all. But unless we’re talking about the gentry or nobility it’s unlikely your lady sat around embroidering handkerchiefs all day (and even then, she had a lot of other obligations so the embroidery was probably intermittent). It was much more likely (depending on era, level of wealth, and time of year obvs.) she was doing whatever the men were doing, or “managing the household” - a phrase which severely underplays how much work that actually represented.
When does it end? All series, book or TV which shits on historical feminine pursuits, be it necessary sewing or “fancy” sewing for the sake of bitch ass ‘progressive’ feminism (which as stated above) is literally just “women are not feminist until they act like men”. This idea is in almost everything from gamey throney to that Netflix enola movie and quite frankly, it’s insulting, dry and condescending to the point where once it’s propagated I’ve checked the fuck out.
Misogyny mascarading as feminism
I weirdly love that there are crotchety fandom elders around who say shit like “in my day, (insert fandom term) meant this specifically, but now you kids just use it to mean any old thing.”
It seriously gives fandom such a sense of heritage and family, like yes grandma, tell me more about how you had to write fic uphill both ways in the snow when you were my age.
I’m approaching crotchety old grandma.
No but this is me.
DRABBLES ARE EXACTLY 100 WORDS NO MORE NO LESS AND DON’T FUCKING TRY TO TELL ME OTHERWISE.
This is me also. A crackship is NOT the same as a rarepair and the two terms canNOT be used interchangeably.
YOU CAN ONLY HAVE ONE OTP.
It’s literally right there in the name. It is your ONE true pairing.
I get around this one by have one OTP for each fandom. It’s my OTP for that fandom.
I am a crotchety old fandom grandmother and I approve this message
the drabble thing irks me SO MUCH it makes me feel like an old lady yelling at kids on her lawn
#oh fandom #THE DRABBLE THING #DRABBLES ARE 100 WORDS #ONE GODDAMN HUNDRED WORDS EXACTLY #jfc that’s what made them such a fun and interesting challenge #was getting it to exactly 100 words #and the rush of FINALLY getting there after picking and poking #or the sheer dumb joy of nailing it within a word or two on the first shot #so you only had to do the most minor editing #do not give me a fucking 8000 word fic and call it a drabble #ThAT IS NOT A DRABBLE (via @wasoncedelight)
IF IT IS MORE THAN 100 WORDS IT IS A FICLET NOT A DRABBLE OMG WHY DON’T YOU JUST CALL IT A HAIKU WHILE YOU’RE AT IT???
I WILL DIE ON THE DRABBLE HILL!!! GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
WHY DON’T YOU JUST CALL IT A HAIKU WHILE YOU’RE AT IT
I didn’t even write fic except for that one brief period between 2007-8 but I HAVE DONE A LOT OF INTERNET OKAY so even I know this to be true. Fandom culture grandmas are awesome.
All of this.
A squick is not a trigger! Triggers are real and dangerous things for some. Mild discomfort at an idea, theme, or plot point does not fall into that category.
Say it with me, kids: a squick is not a trigger!
I, too, will live and die on Drabble Hill
I failed miserably the last time I wrote a Drabble. I could not get it down below 102 words. Eventually I gave up, and made the first two words the title, Nicholas Was. And then I retired from Drabble writing.
casual sex is fine having multiple partners is fine hookups are fine being friends w benefits with someone is fine. stop talking like televangelists.
They really aren’t at all and we need to stop normalizing this.
this is the funniest comment i got on this post. im normalizing sex what are you gonna do about it
We can normalize sex in loving and reciprocal relationships rather than normalizing the fear of deep emotional intimacy and settling for shallow interactions.
we can normalize getting hole and not acting like a puritan. i have normalized taking your mom to pound town
The amount of weird stuff I find on my dash, I just read a long-ass posts about which rocks not to lick. I don’t randomly find mysterious rocks and lick them, why would anyone do that. what the fuck
-If you are not financially independent.
-If you are mentally ill without consistent means of treatment
-If you cannot afford doctor’s bills
-If the thought of having a gay, trans, or nonbinary child makes you upset.
-If the cant accept having to care for a child with a disability or special needs.
-If the thought of having a fat child makes you upset.
-If you have a bad/short temper
-If you’re in an abusive relationship
-If you’re not ready to put someone else’s needs first, EVERY SINGLE DAY, for 18 years.
-If you have an ideal of what this person is going to be like and anything other than that image makes you upset.
-If you need to have a quiet and tidy home at all times.
-If you need to control all aspects of their life even into adulthood.
-if you believe they owe you unconditional, unquestionable respect regardless of your own behavior.
-If you don’t believe they have the right to privacy in their own home.
-If you’re unwilling to change your lifestyle to accommodate the demands of parenthood.
-If you do not believe ALL humans of every race, gender, sexuality, religion, and career deserve the same rights and respect.
Look. Your baby could be fat. Your “son” could actually be your daughter; or both or neither. They could be a lawyer or a porn star. You could have a boy who loves makeup and grows up to be an athiest that brings home an alaskan lumberjack named Boris and the two make a living doing gay camshows . You could have a daughter with blue hair, pierced tits, who is a YouTube rapping sensation called Krispee Kareem and marries a black man and wants 8 kids with him
YOU NEVER KNOW
But what I DO know is that parenthood isnt Build-a-Baby; you get what you fuckin’ get and if you’re not prepared to love and support the shit outta that baby; WHOEVER they grow up to be–
Do. Not. Have. Kids.
Reblog if you support asexuals and aren’t a COWARD
RB if your blog is a safe, accepting space for asexuals!
me, watching my moots reblog this post
ASEXUALS AND ALLIES UNITE!
Both are valid in the lgbtq+ community and if u think they aren’t FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!! I WILL OBLITERATE U
CLICKED THE REBLOG BUTTON SO FAST
I’m demiromantic with an ace friend and YES WE WILL BOTH SUPPORT THE FUCK OUT OF ALL OF YOU
Hell yeah where my fellow aces at
they should also be able to see the ghosts
impostors should be able to read ghost chat. imagine how much more fun it’d be to go “who killed my friend? ):” and see them shouting at you from beyond the grave
I already enjoy haunting imposters that kill me but could you imagine being chased around the ship by angry souls who can do nothing more that slightly inconvenience you and shout at you