sentisugar

[sentisugar]

from @buggachat‘s fic two steps back (one step forward)

#art

[sentisugar]

Chapter 9: A Colour of Wanting More

Summary: In which our beloved heroes touch grass.

The door to the stairwell slammed shut, a scraping metal sound that made Adrien’s hair stand on end. Echoes ricocheted off stark white walls, muffled only by his pounding heartbeat as Marinette led him to the corner of the landing. Even before she stopped and turned around, Adrien knew he wouldn’t be able to handle the look in her eyes. She squeezed his hand, unshed tears clinging to her lashes. “Adrien, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine…” In lieu of finishing her thought, she pulled him in for a hug, one he scarcely managed to return. He couldn’t even put his arms around her; his hands were too busy shaking at his sides. Instead he fixed his eyes on the wall, where he swore he could see his shadow tremble too. There was too much to process. His father being Hawk Moth. Nathalie dying. His mother…well, he didn’t even know what to make of her situation. Adrien wanted to shout. He wanted to implode, to wither away. He wanted to be normal.

Read the rest on Ao3!!

#fic

[sentisugar]

drowning (in plain sight) chapter 12 is up!

#fic

[sentisugar]

Chapter 7:  Believing in Moments To Come

Marinette had grown used to silence with Adrien. She might not like it, but she’d begun to understand it. She’d found ways to fill it—with gentle touches and desperate smiles and brave, wobbly words. When she stepped outside the hotel room with Alya, it was a whole other kind of silence. There was too much pressure to talk, to explain. Marinette braced herself for an onslaught of questions, but none came. She was still fumbling for words when the elevator dinged its arrival. The doors dragged open. They stepped inside. The doors stuttered closed. Their reflections were hazy in the scratched metal surface as Marinette reached for the button. She stole a look at Alya as she stepped back, but was unable to interpret her expression. Then the car began its descent, and Alya seemed to whir back to life alongside it. “Holy shit,” she whispered. The words bounced off the walls, closing in around them. “I don’t know what I expected, but not…” “Yeah,” Marinette said. “It’s…a lot.” Alya nodded and leaned back against the wall, falling quiet again. Marinette dug her nails into the palm of her hand, clenching tighter as the seconds ticked by. By the time they reached the ground floor, she was half-surprised she hadn’t broken skin.

Read the rest on Ao3

#fic

[sentisugar]

chapter 10 - drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat

this fic has me ripping up my carpet with my teeth (it’s INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!😭)

#art

[sentisugar]

“how many times have you asked me to tell you the story of the graham de vanily twin rings?”

#art

[sentisugar]

Can you truly say you exist at all, when the weight of your entire being rests on an object in the hands of another? 🪶

But if you can cut the strings, your life is no longer forfeit to their whims and limitations. 🐈‍⬛

#art

[sentisugar]

Senti-Adrien implications the drabble

Adrien stared at the ensemble laid out for him in his dressing room. White, white, beige, white, boring, next. Nathalie tapped it all into her tablet, a crease slowly blooming across her forehead. It stretched along a familiar path it always followed when handling Adrien during model gigs. 

“Is father ever going to design something different?”’

“Your father knows what will sell.”

Adrien looked closer at the rack of clothes he’d already dismissed, pulling out the only outfit that mildly interested him. It had been soft in his hands and that was all that mattered. He showed it to Nathalie for approval and then disappeared into the curtained off area to change.

“Maybe he needs to redefine what sells. The Agreste brand is so strong he could sell trash bags and France would buy it up.”

“Adrien, do not question your father.”

He looked down at the white cotton sweater and swayed with the sense of deja vu. A million different Adrien’s did, are and will wear this exact design and his father will try to pass it off as new. They did, are and will decide they’d rather wear anything else. He nearly laughed that the universe’s constant was that his father was a bland designer.

“I want to wear trash bags. That would at least be different.”

“Adrien.” His name was a lemon on her tongue. “You wear what your father decides you wear.”

He stepped out of the curtain, handing his everyday clothes in a folded pile to Nathalie.

“Okay.”

She reached out and for a moment he thought she was going to touch his face. It would have been the final confirmation that in his mother’s absence Nathalie was there and willing to fill the void. Instead her hand jolted up and brushed aside the hair from his forehead.

“You’re okay with this Adrien.”

“I am.”

His eyes flicked to the glint of silver wrapped her finger and the knot of anger building in his chest loosened. Nathalie and his father were happy and it was the least he could do to accept it. 

“It's time for the photo shoot. Gorilla will drop you to school after.”

“Thank you.”

Because there were definitely moments Adrien was being a little bitch and Nathalie quietened him for the sake of things running smoothly. The “You’re okay with this” is heard like a question to Adrien but it is actually a commend. Nathalie can’t bear if he’s not okay with this so she takes the edge off his angst.

#fic

[sentisugar]

some fucked up doodles of my fucked up fic (drowning (in plain sight)

feat. "he was never even real", "come here", resident blond boy experts, and a very accurate and very honest chat noir that is very trustworthy

#art

[sentisugar]

Chapter 6: As The World Flickers In Slow Motion

The sun passed behind another cloud, spilling shadows over the balcony. It wasn’t cold, just… unsettling. It had been that way since Marinette led him outside, since they sat down side-by-side and fell into silence; sunbeams dodged in and out of clouds, making the world flicker in slow motion. Like maybe the sun couldn’t decide if it was ready to face the day.

Adrien could relate.

The wind whispered as it blew past him, spilling the world’s secrets in one breath and darting away the next. Some gusts were soft with understanding, others thick with judgement. Every now and then, Adrien swore he caught a murmur or two that had nothing to do with the breeze. Indecipherable words that came from inside the room, words that were no doubt about him.

What were Alya and Nino saying now that he wasn’t around to hear? Adrien wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

He’d expected to feel better after opening up to them, and maybe to some extent he did. Panic no longer pierced him in the gut or throbbed against his temples; now it was more of a background noise. A persistent hum that lingered like an unwanted house guest.

It was illogical. White noise. But it would be far too easy to let it drown out the rest of the world again. Read the rest on ao3!!

#fic

[sentisugar]

Ladynoir + "He hadn't looked at her like that in years."

Thanks for the ask!!! So kajsfbkjf this is from months ago, and I want you to know that literally my first thought upon reading this prompt was "oh. that's so good". So good that I had to put it aside 4 months apparently 😂. But it's my goal this month to empty out my ask box, and better late than never!! (If I remember correctly was the ask game was to send a pairing and one sentence and I was supposed to write the next 5? But I don't know moderation so this will be more than 5 ahaha.) *** He hadn't looked at her like that in years. Like she was infallible. Like he'd follow her to the ends of the Earth, fully knowing the planet was round and he was really promising eternity. Like maybe, despite everything, he still loved her. (Like he hadn't betrayed her.) But a pair of sparkling eyes didn't make up for the last two years. They didn't make up for the oceans of tears she'd cried, and they couldn't slow the river of turmoil roaring through the city streets, where their cries of joy had once graced the skies. The time for forgiveness was over. Chat Noir didn't seem to have gotten the memo.

Ladybug clenched her fists at her sides as a gust of wind tore past them. The top of Montparnasse Tower had seemed a neutral place to meet when she'd first suggested it, but now...she followed his gaze across the roof, her stomach churning when she remembered one of the first times they'd stood up here. Well, maybe "remembered" was the wrong word. She'd seen the picture more times than she could count--on the Ladyblog, on billboards, in magazines--but now more than ever, she couldn't for the life of her figure out what had prompted her to kiss him.

Tonight, his words cut into her attempts at speculation.

"You came," he said. Even now, his voice was a warmth that battled the wind and wrapped itself around her for a brief moment of time. A moment of calm.

The icy wind burned her cheeks when his words fell away. "I said I would," she replied shortly. "I'm not the one who breaks promises."

His expression faltered at that, but she looked away before she could fully register it. She wasn't falling for his tricks.

She especially wasn't falling for his next words.

"I'm sorry." He took a small step closer, and she took a larger one back. "You're sorry?" She laughed, the bitterness she'd swallowed for years finally bursting free. "For what, exactly? For abandoning me? For joining the Shadow Moth?"

For breaking my heart? Chat bowed his head. "For everything. I never wanted to hurt you, my la--" "I'm not your lady," she interrupted, ignoring the part of her that still very much wanted to be. The part of her that had played through scenarios just like this one in her dreams.

(In those dreams, she always took him back. She took his face in her hands, and he ran his fingers through her hair oh so carefully. His claws scratched lightly against her scalp. His touch sent shivers down her spine. In those dreams, she could never figure out what exactly he tasted like, but his lips didn't leave much else to the imagination.) "I know that," he said. "But I...you have to understand, I never wanted this. It wasn't my choice, Ladybug."

She snorted. "Right. And I'm just supposed to believe that?"

"No." He shook his head sadly. "I brought proof."

He took another step closer, and this time Ladybug didn't move away--she was so tired of fleeing. She did however raise her yo-yo defensively as he reached into his pocket, but all he pulled out was a silver ring.

She eyed it warily. "What's that?" "An Amok," he whispered, his voice almost lost to the howl of the wind. "Mine."

#fic

[sentisugar]

OT4 (Adrien, Marinette, Alya, and Nino)-centric Sentimonster Adrien fic, angst and hurt/comfort, 1/14 Chapters

Everybody had expected Monarch's defeat to be a moment of triumph. Nobody had expected Gabriel Agreste, unmasked and mind frayed from continual abuse of the miraculous, crying out to all who would listen and making Paris certain of one thing:

His son, Adrien Agreste, is one of his sentimonsters.

And now he's missing.

Nobody can find him— not even the superheroes, and not even his closest friends. But Marinette, Nino, and Alya aren't ones to give up so easily. They'll find him, no matter what it takes.

(But, geez, would it kill Chat Noir to lend a hand?)

So, I wrote this ~70k word fic a long time ago and it's been sitting complete in my docs for a few months. I'm finally going to start posting it, maybe weekly, maybe even more often depending on how I'm feeling.

Basically, it's a self-indulgent culmination of my love for the OT4, Adrien angst, and hurt/comfort.

#fic

[sentisugar]

scara part 2 coming tomorrow! sorry I didn't have it prepared I didn't know it would go by so fast 0-0. here is an old meme I made a while back ago lol

#art

[sentisugar]

#art

[sentisugar]

thanks for the rec! this blog hasn’t been as active lately since i was waiting to watch the episodes in order and didn’t want to risk getting spoiled by going into the senti tags. i did recently give in so maybe there will be more posts soon once i finishing catching up, but definitely check out some past posts! i know other people have processed it by creating their own fic and art too, so if you’re a writer or an artist that is worth trying.

also: it’s okay to feel upset about the idea and for it to take some time to get used to it. and it’s okay if you never can, too, but i hope you don’t lose enjoyment in ml. best of luck!

Hi there ❤️ So, after being in denial about Sentiadrien since forever (just the mere idea was too painful for me and I thought it’d never happen anyway) the other day the clues hit me all at once and I’ve been depressed and anxious ever since. Not because I see him as any less of a human (he’s a human to me) but because of him not being free. I saw you’re a pro sentiadrien who also used to be anti-sentiadrien so, how did you cope with this? Any tips?

Also, asking just to make sure I’m understanding the theory correctly: even when Gabriel tells Adrien to do something, he still has a mind and feelings of his own. So far (I think) we’ve only seen behaviour commands (you have to do this, you can’t do that) but not thought or emotion commands (you have to think or feel this) and considering how heartless Gabriel has been so far, it’s safe to assume that it’d be much easier for him to *make* Adrien feel or think whatever he wants him to (like making him hate Marinette or fall out of love with her in Chat Blanc instead of blackmailing Mari to break up with him for instance). Which takes me to: I think either the peacock commands have limits and can only be behaviour based (just like the Wish has limits to make it ethical and fair) or (unlikely scenario) Gabriel still has some humanity left in him and is seeing his son as his son and refuses to make him feel or think whatever he wants him to. I personally think the peacock orders having limits makes a lot more sense, because if there weren’t limits to that to make it ethical, by that logic the Wish shouldn’t have limits either (so you could get back someone you love and choose someone you hate as the sacrifice, double win for you then, no consequences yay). What are your thoughts on this?

Hi anon!🤍

First of all, I understand the anxiety surrounding sentiadrien. I... don't quite remember how I accepted the theory myself, but I remember reading a lot of meta and posts from people who were open to and liked the theory so I understood different views about it ? I highly recommend @sentisugar which has a lot of posts I read back then (when the discourse was at its peak I am so glad it's over fjdj) and @gentil-minou's metas on the topic (which was actually the first ones I read about sentiadrien I think?) But overall, I don't really think there's a definite method for the theory to grow on you, you know? It just took time.

You might be onto something about the limits on the miraculous though, that's interesting! I am still kind of confused about the lore surrounding it in canon so I am. Not able to talk about it more xjshdh

Gabriel actively choosing not to control Adrien's emotions just seems like the last thing after seeing all the shitty things he's capable of doing as we've seen so far lol

#i have some other thoughts on the commands thing but not sure if that should stay on main? #it’s definitely spoilers for out of order episodes though 🤔 #and i’m still being 🤐 there #sooo i guess if anyone is curious on my thoughts you can send and ask here!

[sentisugar]

It’s not my fault, it’s not so wrong to wonder why everybody dies…. And when will I?

#art

[sentisugar]

I had this really weird post-vaccine fever dream back in… was it july..? 2021 and have been trying to finish it since then

The dream was about Felix giving the two rings to Adrien and telling him not to use them (?) until the time was right (what does that mean?? I don’t know! they didn’t tell me in the dream, which was quite rude tbh 😠)

BUT THEN! I had the ✨AMAZING✨ idea of turning what was going to be a simple comic into a set of (””simple””) animated gifs because I wanted to mimic the “camera movements” and the creepy atmosphere of that dream

All I could finish was this *sobs*

animation was a mistake, please someone come and kick my but so I can finally finish this someday soon lmao

#art