sexualintimidationdemon

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Bonus

Reflections on: Jungle Cruise (2021)

Some might say this is not a horror film and that is in fact an action / adventure / comedy. Spoilers ahead. 

Jesse Plemons does a pretty good Werner Herzog impression as a nazi who controls a zombie Aguirre made of snakes. 

LOOK AT HOW JESEE PLEMONS ATE THAT PIRANHA!! (see above)

LOOK AT HOW JESSE PLEMONS EATS THOSE PEAS!! (see above)

The Rock turns into an actual rock and is 400 years old.

The soundtrack is Metallica.

Do you still think this isn’t a horror movie?

#Jungle Cruise #2021 #Jesse Plemons #Werner Herzog #Aguirre #The Rock #Metallica

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Day 31

Reflections on: Good Manners (2017)

I liked this a lot! It’s a Brazilian movie written and directed by Juliana Rojas and Marco Dutra.

About an hour into the film everything takes a real left turn. 

The genre is listed as fantasy / horror / musical. If the musical aspect turns you off - don’t fret! It’s hardly a musical. Yes, a few characters sing but it’s quite subtle and fits with the tone of the movie well. Bonus: one of the songs is about a horse. 

If you like pregnancy related horror movies like Rosemary’s Baby (1968), It’s Alive (1974), and Inside (2007) you might like this! 

#Good Manners #2017 #Brazil

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Day 30

Reflections on: Child’s Play (1972)

This has no relation to Child’s Play (1988). Not even one single talking doll. I’ll find out one day if the Chucky movie is better than this one.

A very young, smiley Beau Bridges plays the new gym teacher at his alma mater - a religious preparatory school for boys. Everything has gotten much more fucked up and violent since he graduated. 

Beau Bridges really reminded me of a friendly dog with his long sideburns and floppy hair hair. At one point he hops on some parallel bars and flips around. Is this gregarious big puppy secretly ripped under his duffle coat? Sadly we never find out. 

James Mason plays the Latin teacher. He brings a heaping dose of melodrama to his role, as is his custom. James you wacky old guy!

This was barely a horror movie. Some horrific things happen but it’s uncertain if there’s ever a supernatural element to it. At the worst it was like a darker version of Dead Poet’s Society (1989).

How many shades of brown can you fit in one movie? It looked like an episode of Columbo. The most enjoyable part was the autumnal knits. 

Sidney Lumet directed this and because of that I wanted the movie to be a bit better! Sorry!

#Child's Play #1972 #Beau Bridges #James Mason #Sidney Lumet #Columbo #Dead Poet's Society

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Day 29

Reflections on: Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)

Full disclosure: this review is totally biased because I am a fan of one of the actors, Dan Lippert. He’s a talented improv comedian and is one quarter of the hilarious group Big Grande. I’m also a fan of his excellent podcasts The Teacher’s Lounge and Man Dog Pod. I’m not sure I would have liked the movie as much as I did without consuming all of that previous content.

It feels like Dan Lippert improvised most of his lines. There are familiar themes from his comedy such as: bad MJ impressions and cannibalism. 

This is the 7th film in the Paranormal Activity franchise. I haven’t seen any of the previous instalments. This is technically a “found footage” movie like the others, yet instead of using security cameras footage, this looks professional due to the fact that the main character has hired a crew to help her make a documentary. 

It was strange to watch a movie that took place in a COVID-19 world. It’s only briefly addressed in the beginning when Dan Lippert’s character awkwardly forgets to put on his mask at an airport and then offhandedly remarks, “I got COVID like 5 times.”

Dan Lippert steals every scene he’s in - which is most of them. He casually does yoga in the background, refers to his camouflage pyjamas as his “cammies”, offers a translation of “so weit nicht weiter” as “Sweet, nice wiener”, and gets an Amish makeover complete with a bob and bangs. A 6′7″ man with a cute bob is a sight to behold! 

Despite being the main source of comedy in the story he’s also the most sensible character who figures out what’s going on before the compulsively confident and pathologically nosy protagonist. 

The story has a lot of parallels with Midsommar (2019), but also has some similarities to Rosemary’s Baby (1968) and Children of the Corn (1984). 

I won’t spoil the ridiculous ending but it does finish with a beautiful symphony of harmonious moos. 

This was way more enjoyable than I expected! I loved it and would watch it again. Maybe you might not feel the same way if you’re not an Old Slob like me :)

#Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin #2021 #Dan Lippert #The Teacher's Lounge #Man Dog Pod #Big Grande #Midsommar #Rosemary's Baby #Children of the Corn

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Day 28

Reflections on: Dark Skies (2013)

I mainly watched this because it stars Kerri Russell and I’m a fan of Felicity. Check it out hahaha

Kerri Russell and Josh Hamilton play the parents of two boys - one is the kid from Real Steel (2011). If you haven’t seen this movie it’s just Rocky (1976) with dancing robots.

This felt almost exactly like Poltergeist (1982) but with aliens instead of restless spirits and sadly none of the charm of the Spielberg movie. Yeah that’s right, I referred to Poltergeist as a Spielberg movie. What are you gonna do, Tobe Hooper?!

Just like in Poltergeist, the weird happenings begin in the kitchen with mysterious messes and condiment installations. At one point a TV even plays the American national anthem, as it does in Poltergeist, but with a wobbly vibrato effect on it - because apparently aliens make things sound wiggly!

The abduction elements were also very reminiscent of Close Enounters of the Third Kind (1977) and The X-Files. I love that kind of shit and find it genuinely freaky as I once woke up with mysterious bruises that I couldn’t explain! I want to believe, but alas, I am more of a Scully.

J.K. Simmons plays an alien expert with many cats and a silly hat. His resources look like they’re straight out of The International UFO Museum and Research Center in Roswell, New Mexico. If you ever get a chance to go there you absolutely must. It’s a delightful treasure trove of bizarre dioramas with the same production value as an elementary school science fair.

This looked incredibly bland - but I guess maybe that’s just what the suburbs can be like? Everything felt beige. 

My favourite scenes were anything that included art that was supposed to be drawn by children. Always a treat.

You should probably just watch Poltergeist and Felicity instead! At the SAME TIME.

#Dark Skies #2013 #Kerri Russell #Felicity #Josh Hamilton #Real Steel #Rocky #Poltergeist #Close Encounters of the Third Kind #The X-Files #Tobe Hooper #Steven Spielberg

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Day 27

Reflections on: The Mafu Cage (1978)

Wow, what a bummer. I had always wanted to see this. I liked Carol Kane in everything I’d seen her in until now, but even she couldn’t save this one.

Animal torture, extreme cultural appropriation, and incest are a few of the main themes. If those are up your alley then maybe this movie is for you! 

One of the main characters is an astronomer who works at the Griffith Observatory. This was the most interesting part of the story but it truly has no bearing on anything else. We never really get to see the work she does and the only thing of note that happens at the observatory is an awkward seduction scene at the top of some stairs. It looked uncomfortable and seemed like a waste of science resources. 

The clothes, jewelry, and decor were all quite stunning. Sadly it was all soured by a white lady imitating people from other cultures.

This is yet another psychological horror film, like Magic (1978) in which characters’ conditions escalate to extremes that could have been prevented with proper mental health help. They don’t exactly work as horror movies, they just come off as extremely sad.

One of the characters is named Zom. That was good.

Why does this exist?

#The Mafu Cage #1978 #Carol Kane

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Day 26

Reflections on: Blood and Black Lace (1964)

This may have the greatest opening credit sequence of all time! The colours! The shapes! Molto bello!

Everyone is dramatically lit and acts over-the-top.

The cast consists of so many beautiful women that it’s hard to keep them all straight.

As with many gialli, the dubbing is ridiculous. The diction is bizarre. One of the male characters sounded like a computer speech synthesizer. 

This was the first giallo! I can see why it was so widely imitated. It’s a beautiful melodrama!

Whenever a woman is attacked by the killer she makes absolutely no attempt to fight back. They’re so helpless they practically go limp :/

Excellent clothes and decor. 

Don’t ask me to explain the plot to you. Murder.... fashion. That’s about it.

#Blood and Black Lace #1964 #Mario Bava

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Day 25

Reflections on: The Cave (2005)

Ooh baby this movie had everything I wanted out of a horror movie. It’s mysterious and ridiculous and that’s really all I can ask for!

I’ll admit, it starts out bad but unexpectedly improves as soon as all the HOT CAVE SCIENTISTS show up.

I guess they’re not all scientists, but everyone in this is ridiculously attractive! We’ve got Daniel Dae Kim (AKA Jin from Lost), Lena Headey (AKA Cersei from Game of Thrones), Piper Perabo (her name is fun to say), Morris Chestnut (perhaps the most attractive?), and Eddie Cibrian (AKA LeAnn Rimes’ husband). If you ask me it’s a crime to send this many attractive people into a spooky cave!

The dialogue is delightfully silly: “We’re gonna go deep on this one!”, “Demons, huh?”, “Respect the cave.”, “It’s awesome!”, “It’s dark, it’s deep and it’s wet.”, and “That’s some kind of eel!”.

I will never get tired of watching cave-based content. Everything looks so cool in caves! I don’t even care if it was shot in a set or not. I love it all.

This felt like Alien (1979) meets Zoolander (2001) meets The Muppets. I love all those things so this was great for me personally.

I don’t want to give too much away so I’ll just say the special effects were excellent.

I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this as much as I did. What a treat. Love u caves.

#The Cave #2005 #Daniel Dae Kim #Lost #Lena Headey #Game of Thrones #Piper Perabo #Morris Chestnut #Eddie Cibrian #leann rimes #Alien #zoolander #The Muppets

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Day 24

Reflections on: There’s Someone Inside Your House (2021)

Full disclosure: I mostly watched this because I know one of the actors in this - Ryan Beil, who plays Dave the creepy Uber driver.

I was pleasantly surprised how much corn is referenced in the film, which is set in “a proud corn town” in Nebraska (yet was filmed in Vancouver). The high school football team is the Cornhuskers, the finale takes place in a corn maze, and there are signs all around town that say “Corn in the USA”.

At one point one of the teens (played by Théodore Pellerin AKA Cody Bonar from On Becoming a God in Central Florida) takes his crush to a cornfield where she recites her secret poetry in the “ocean of corn”! 

The murderer taunts his victims with photos of their *secrets* printed on full colour 8.5″ x 11″ pages. If they want to find out who the killer is they just need to go to the local Staples and find out who is constantly buying more printer ink cartridges!

This felt a bit like I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) but a bit dumber which is FINE BY ME! I love dumb teen content!

Further full disclosure: before I finished this post I went to a comedy show on halloween. It was Ryan Beil’s show and he named me one of the costume contest winners. My costume was corn.

Praise the corn lord.

#There's Someone Inside Your House #august 2021 #Ryan Beil #Théodore Pellerin #On Becoming a God in Central Florida #I Know What You Did Last Summer

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Day 23

Reflections on: Magic (1978)

On paper this movie should be great: written by William Goldman (who among many other things wrote The Princess Bride (1987)), directed by Richard Attenborough (“Welcome to Jurassic Park”), starring Anthony Hopkins, Ann-Margret, and Burgess Meredith. All these people are great, yet the movie is about a ventriloquist puppet named Fats, thus it is bad.

The most unbelievable part of the movie is that Anthony Hopkins’ character, Corky, becomes famous with his ventriloquist act and that people think Fats is “cute” and hilarious! What universe does this take place in?!

Ann-Margret is excellent as a lonely, middle aged former-cheerleader. Of course she plays her younger teen self in a flashback (see above) because she’s Ann-Margret and that is allowed. 

Burgess Meredith is perfect as a high-powered entertainment agent (who is somehow still working at age 80?!) with an endless supply of cigars in his blazer. 

Anthony Hopkins doing cheesy ventriloquist schtick is bizarre to watch! His “Fats” voice is weirdly high pitched and nasal. When Fats is “meddling” the score plays grating harmonica music. GET OUTTA HERE, FATS!

This mostly takes place at some Catskillls lakeside cabins during the off-season. The costumes are almost entirely cozy knits in autumnal colours. It was worth watching almost just for the clothes!

A terrible portrayal of... Dissociative Identity Disorder I guess?

This could have been funny and scary but sadly it’s neither. 

#Magic #1978 #William Goldman #The Princess Bride #Richard Attenborough #Jurassic Park #Anthony Hopkins #Ann-Margret #Burgess Meredith

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Day 22

Reflections on: Possessor (2020)

I’ve never watched Quantum Leap before, but I imagine it’s like this but less horrific. It’s also a little bit like if Being John Malkovich (1999) was about brain hacking assassins and wasn’t a comedy.

This was written and directed by Brandon Cronenberg, son of David Cronenberg who is also the father of body horror. So this was made by body horror’s brother. Body horror makes some cute cameos here.

The cast was great: Andrea Riseborough (AKA Mandy from Mandy (2018)), Jennifer Jason Leigh (being her lovely weird self), Christopher Abbott (one of the guys from Girls), Sean Bean (!), and Rossif Sutherland (Donald Sutherland’s OTHER actor son).

I took a break during the middle of this to watch the music video for Rob Zombie’s “Dragula” for no particular reason.

The plot centres around a tech company called ZOOTHROO which uses people’s webcams to spy on what kind of window coverings they have. Mostly they just see meat curtains.

Lots of vaping.

I enjoyed this despite all the blood and brain puncturing. It is a beautifully shot movie.

#Possessor #2020 #Brandon Cronenberg #David Cronenberg #Quantum Leap #being john malkovich #Andrea Riseborough #Jennifer Jason Leigh #Mandy #Christopher Abbott #Girls #Sean Bean #Rossif Sutherland #Donald Sotherland #Dragula #ZOOTHROO

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Day 21

Reflections on Firestarter (1984)

The music by Tangerine Dream is excellent, obviously.

The cast is stacked! Tiny Drew Barrymore does a ton of cutesy baby voice, but it’s allowed because she’s only 8. David Keith plays her father and looks like a poor man’s Kurt Russell (see photos 3 and 9 above). Heather Locklear, in her first film role, plays Barrymore’s mother.

Louise Fletcher, who is usually fabulous, kinda phones it in. Good for her.

Freddie Jones plays a weirdly similar role here to his character Thufir in Dune (1984) - both are experts whose frustrations and concerns go ignored. Moses Gunn also plays a similar role to his character in The NeverEnding Story (1984) - both are scientists reluctantly in charge of the deteriorating health of important, powerful young girls. Wow! All 3 of these movies were released the same year. Weird. 1984 was a big year for Freddie and Moses and sci-fi in general! 

Speaking of big, Martin Sheen seems so little but obviously compensates by having such TALL HAIR. 

George C. Scott plays an unrepentant maniac in leather, sometimes an eyepatch, and a long grey ponytail. The first time his character is on screen it looks like he’s made of bronze. It took me until nearly the end of the film to realize that his character was supposed to be Cherokee :(

Director Mark L. Lester was also responsible for such cinematic gems as Roller Boogie (1979), Class of 1984 (1982) and Commando (1985). This was probably better than all of those - which is impressive! If you haven’t seen any of these titles I recommend them all.

This was shot entirely in lush, green, kudzu-covered North Carolina. The cinematography is gorgeous! Extreme wide angle lenses are used in many scenes which warp straight architectural lines in a pleasingly wiggly way.

Excellent horse acting. One of the horses is named Necromancer. Nice.

The film climaxes with a combination of frog, horse, and synth sounds. I couldn’t ask for anything more - except maybe that a white dude didn’t play an Indigenous man. 

#Firestarter #1984 #Tangerine Dream #Drew Barrymore #David Keith #Kurt Russell #Heather Locklear #Louise Fletcher #Freddie Jones #Dune #Moses Gunn #The NeverEnding Story #Martin Sheen #George C. Scott #Mark L. Lester #Roller Boogie #1979 #Class of 1984 #1982 #Commando #1985 #Necromancer

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Day 20

Reflections on: Halloween Kills (2021)

This takes place immediately after Halloween (2018). You should watch that before watching this or you’ll definitely be pretty confused!

John Carpenter’s music was perfect, as always. I got goosebumps after only the first couple of piano and synth notes :)

I appreciated the flashbacks to Halloween night 1978 which showed new scenes that were concurrent with the events of Halloween (1978). This was a rare well-done retcon that successfully deepened the modern character’s motivations and provided richer context for the present story. 

Like the previous film this was written by Danny McBride and David Gordon Green, yet it was missing their signature humour. I wished there was a little more levity in this. It’s pretty brutal, even for a slasher!

Anthony Michael Hall plays Tommy - the little boy Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) babysat in the original film. He is UNRECOGNIZABLE as the Tony Hall you know and love. A shot of his face lit up by red light cuts immediately to a shot of a jack-o-lantern (see both above). After this comparison I couldn’t imagine him as anything other than a pumpkin. 

I will never look at a fluorescent light bulb the same way again.

Kyle Richards (who you may know as one of The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills or possibly from Watcher in the Woods (1980)) reprises her role from the 1978 Halloween as Lindsey, one of a few survivors of Michael Myers. I liked the addition of side characters who were personally affected by the events of the first film. Of course their lives were irrevocably altered 40 years ago, and as a result some of them feel like they must now be the heroes of the story. If I survived Mikey M. as a kid I think I would have moved far far away from Haddonfield, Illinois - probably to an uncharted island surrounded by sharks and mines.

One of my horror movie pet peeves is the ridiculously inaccurate depiction of hospitals. Morgues are not designed in a way that a murder victim’s mother can accidentally discover the body of her disfigured child through a window in a busy hallway! COME ON! Hospital chaos was the most stressful part of this film for me. A mob of angry townspeople including doctors and nurses trample people and knock each other down stairwells. Medical students take the Hippocratic Oath to, “first, do no harm”. COME ON!

An over-the-top (even for Halloween) rich couple (see above) now lives in Michael Myers’ childhood home. They are Big John, a honey-pondering, stoned jazz daddy, and Little John, a pirate daddy played by MADtv’s Michael McDonald. I’m sorry I know he’s been in many other things since then, but I will always associate him with that problematic show and Zima (a drink I’ve actually encountered only once - weirdly in Kochi, Japan). How do I know they’re rich? Sure, the house was probably cheap to buy as it was the site of multiple murders, but they’ve obviously put a lot of money into renovations. They also leave FOUR lamps on in their upstairs bedroom while they watch a movie downstairs. I did love that they were watching Minnie and Moskowitz (1971) by John Cassavetes - a perfect choice for Halloween night. 

Laurie, albeit “geeked out on pain meds” tells Tommy to go find and kill Michael Myers. I know she’s not his babysitter anymore and Tommy is a fully grown adult, but this is still terrible, irresponsible advice. Laurie!!

I know I said I liked the addition of all the side characters but there might actually be too many characters in this!

The soundtrack includes an Anne Murray song?! Scary! The fact that I was able to identify an Anne Murray song - horrifying!!!

One adult survivor character gives an order to two teens (in an attempt to protect them!) that follows the same logic from Children of the Corn (1983): “[If] you see anything suspicious - you honk the horn.” Have these people learned nothing?! Honking?!

As just noted in Anamorph (2007), we are again presented with several gruesome tableaus. Why are serial killers such creative installation artists?! Are they taking some sort of online course?? Good for them!

#Halloween Kills #2021 #David Gordon Green #Danny McBride #Halloween #2018 #1978 #John Carpenter #Jamie Lee Curtis #Anthony Michael Hall #Kyle Richards #Real Housewives of Beverley Hills #Watcher in the Woods #Michael McDonald #MADtv #Zima #Minnie and Moskowitz #John Cassavetes #Children of the Corn #Anne Murray #Anamorph

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Day 19

Reflections on Anamorph (2007)

This is the movie’s synopsis is “A psychological thriller based on the concept of anamorphosis, a painting technique that manipulates the laws of perspective to create two competing images on a single canvas.” With this plus the all-star cast of Willem Dafoe, Scott Speedman, Clea DuVall, Peter Stormare and many other loveable character actors - how could you go wrong?! Allow me to list the ways:

The concept of anamorphic painting is not introduced until the 1 hour and 19 minute mark.

The opening credits list Mick Foley (AKA Mankind) and Debbie Harry (AKA Blondie) in the cast, yet they are both have less than 10 seconds of screen time - combined! YOU DON’T LIST CAMEOS IN THE OPENING CREDITS!!

Maybe the director was trying to distract the viewer from how much the opening credits looked like a bad teen art project?

Sadly this has no relation to the Animorphs series. 

Willem Dafoe plays a straight forward alcoholic detective with OCD who is also an expert murder / art professor too? He looks especially dorky in this - they’ve maybe dyed his hair? He looks like an anamorphic painting of a toad ape.

Lots of gross shots of body parts arranged in elaborate tableaus as art. Why are so many movie serial killers just frustrated installation artists??

All the detectives in this dress terribly in ill-fitting suits. Scott Speedman looks BAD and this is only 5 years after Felicity ended. 

The line “uncle Eddie” is used WAY too many times.

Bizarre visual effects are used to denote scenes taking place 4 years in the past (see first photo above).

The hardened-detective-working-a-serial-killer-case-with-an-annoying-younger-partner story is so clichéd that I kept expecting a twist - something, anything - even a stereotypical twist! Maybe Scott Speedman was a figment of Willem’s imagination, or maybe they were in love? Maybe Willem was investigating... himself?! Alas, it’s just unimaginatively written and feels like it was intercut with a first year university art history lecture. 

If this review is too negative I’ll end on a positive note: There are a lot of scenes where characters notice smells. So I guess there was good smell acting. 

#Anamorph #Debbie Harry #Willem Dafoe #Mankind #Scott Speedman #Clea DuVall #Peter Stormare #Mick Foley #Blondie #Animorphs

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Day 18

Reflections on: Pulse (2001)

This was directed by Kiyoshi Kurosawa who also made Creepy (2016).

It begins (and ends) on a boat. You know how I feel about boat movies! 

Both the soundtrack and rear projection driving shots made this feel reminiscent of a Hitchcock movie. 

The music includes not only nauseated string but also wailing, backwards whale song and bit reduction artifacts. I liked it a lot!

This actually made early 2000′s fashion seem cool, which is an impressive feat because it was extremely not cool.

This felt a bit like Ring (1998) but in the internet instead of on a video. Some of the phantoms glitchy movements are similar to ring girl’s moves.

I’ve never thought about how hell could potentially get too full before. It’s an interesting idea. Hell needs a new hard drive. Ghosts have “no choice but to ooze into another realm”, and the internet can be the perfect portal. Makes sense to me!

After any character gets freaked out they drink tea. Tea fixes everything. I’m going to make some RIGHT NOW.

A cool dude character gives a rousing speech set to inspirational music that boils down to essentially “I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost”! Bless his heart.

The cinematography is beautiful. This made me want to work on a rooftop plant warehouse. 

I enjoyed this! 

#Pulse #2001 #Kiyoshi Kurosawa #Hitchock #Ring

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Day 17

Reflections on: Fear Street: Part Three - 1666 (2021)

This movie is a harder sell than 1994 or 1978. There’s not a ton of nostalgia associated with the year 1666. There are no good songs from that decade.

Most people look pretty clean for 1666. Everyone would be way dirtier, dumber and drunker than they are here. “Mad Thomas” is the only one who seems era appropriate. 

This was fun because you get to hear all the actors attempt to do Irish-ish accents. Abby and Lizzy become “Abbé and Lizzé”!

Every man wears a long, greasy wig.

Lost of cute animals: 7 adorable piglets, a goat, and a dog named “Merry Boy” whose instagram I just found. 

It’s important to know that I took notes on this with a witch pencil.

It’s cute as hell that a bunch of oldey timey teens eat some sort of psychedelic berries and party in the woods to celebrate the full moon. 

Does 1 second of oral sex even count?

R.L. Stine is obsessed with child murderers.

Humans are so dumb.

Witches are totally radical.

What does CK One smell like? I can’t remember anymore. A character compares the fragrance to the aroma of “an androgynous baby”.

The same character gives an inspirational speech about the Konami code again.

Does the Scooby gang install blacklight bulbs all over the mall? Were they there already? It looks cool but I am very confused.

Why do characters in movies who need to access some of their own blood always slice open their palms?! That’s the worst place to slice yourself! They wouldn’t be able to grip anything or clench their fist. Anything they touch would immediately infect their massive wound. This is my pet peeve I guess!

I love a good old fashioned monster mash at the mall! 

Watch this if you think you’d enjoy a classic ghoul battle royale in a hypercolor hellscape :)

#Fear Street: Part Three - 1666 #R.L. Stine

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Day 16

Reflections on: Fear Street: Part Two - 1978 (2021)

Did you watch Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021) yet? This won’t really make sense unless you watch part one first. 

Which version of “The Man Who Sold the World” do you like better - David Bowie or Nirvana? Don’t worry - with this movie you don’t HAVE to choose because it’s got both!

If you weren’t satisfied with a heaping dose of 1994 nostalgia maybe this batch of 1978 nostalgia will do the trick. The protagonist is played by Stranger Things’ Sadie Sink who is no stranger to period pieces.

There are SO many striped shirts. I guess that’s all they wore in 1978. 

The soundtrack is full of hits by all your favourites: Captain & Tennille, Blue Öyster Cult, Kansas, Buzzcocks, Cat Stevens, The Runaways, and more. 

Can you imagine boning to a Foghat song? How about climbing up a functional outhouse? Well you won’t have to imagine anymore!

Why do people like camp? I don’t get it. It’s funny to me that anyone has any positive associations with summer camp. As a person who never attended sleepaway camp I only know it as the setting for horror movies.

What sort of camp has a room full of caged animals like possums and snakes?! This is a place full of teens run by SLIGHTLY older teens. Seems irresponsible.

I hope to give an inspirational speech right before I die.

I was delighted to see Dylan Gage (AKA Gabe from PEN15!) in a tiny role.

Seems gauche that a mall is built around a tree that was the known burial spot of a witch and the site of multiple child murders. 

There is a LOT of stabbing. I wasn’t sure if the amount was supposed to be so over the top that it was comical? It’s SO much. SO many innocent people die! WOOF!

One of the ghouls (?) looks A LOT like Michael Myers from Halloween (1978) (see above).

#Fear Street: Part One - 1994 #David Bowie #Nirvana #Sadie Sink #Stranger THings #Foghat #Dylan Gage #PEN15 #Halloween