sexyalchemist

[sexyalchemist]

he shouldnt be at the club he should be in a dark old basement laboratory saying shit like “fascinating” or “by jove” and conducting experiments on himself

[sexyalchemist]

kill them with kindness? WRONG! medical malpractice 💉🩸💉🩸💉🩸🩻🫀🩸🫀🩸💉🫀🩸🩻🫀💉🫀💉🫀🩻🩸🩻🫀💉🫀🩸🫀💉🫀🩻💉💉💉💉🩻💉🩻🩸🫀💉🩸🩻💉🩻🩸🫀🩻💉💉💉💉🫀🩻💉🩻🩸🫀🩻💉🫀🩻🫀💉🫀💉🫀🩻🩻🩻🩸🫀💉💉🩻🫀🩸🫀🩻🩻🩻🩻🩸🩻🩻💉🫀🫀🫀

[sexyalchemist]

girls want me. youtubers make “Top 10 Social Experiments that went TOO FAR!” videos about me. health and safety inspectors fear me.

[sexyalchemist]

(voice of a man invariably alienated from the human experience): Hey guys

[sexyalchemist]

accidentally let my clipboard fall, exposing my meticulous notes written in glitter gel pen and labeled “EVIL ROBOT TRANSGENDER ROBOT TRANSFORMATION ROBOT SERUM” and thus revealing to a roomful of test subjects that they were, in fact, the control group. this is met with a chorus of disappointed groans

[sexyalchemist]

hey besties friendly reminder to drink water, feed your lab rats, turn off your evil nuclear generator, change out of your dirty lab coat, go for a walk and take care of yourself <3

#happy 100k to my beloved favourite post

[sexyalchemist]

Girl why don't you put down that yucky concoction, and fuck with a real potion like me..

[sexyalchemist]

honestly we don't need more stem majors we need people who sit under bridges and attack you when you try to cross

[sexyalchemist]

no way… you’re morose? AND lugubrious??? 😳

[sexyalchemist]

plague doc would say 'i showed you my ___ please respond' help i need this knowledge to impress beautiful women

Philters and Ungents

[sexyalchemist]

🧫

#PetriDish #Petri #PetriCore #PetriLife #PetriDishLifestyle #Petri4Lyfe #DishHeads #PetriHead #germcore #PetriPet #ActualPetri #PetriReal #PetriDishes #awesome #women

[sexyalchemist]

Per experimental protocol we cannot disclose whether your boyfriend is part of the test group or part of the control group, nor can we comment on the likelihood of his inclusion in either cohort; suffice it to say that it's possible that we're sorry about your boyfriend.

[sexyalchemist]

haters will literally give birth to you

[sexyalchemist]

8am incest study

12pm cannibalism debate

12:30 tea break

1pm necrophilia discussion

3pm eroticism

6pm dinner + beer

[sexyalchemist]

they dont make bombs that are a big black ball with a string sticking out of it anymore

[sexyalchemist]

didnt attack OR kill anyone today btw

[sexyalchemist]

my blood is so special and pretty everyone wants it and thatse why everyoens always stabbing me with knifes and syringes and the sort but its ok I like it