shamrockskullscarabs

[shamrockskullscarabs]

#cats

[shamrockskullscarabs]

A limerick:

Doesn’t look like a limerick to you? Try this:

A dozen, a gross, and a score Plus three times the square root of four Divided by seven Plus five times eleven Is nine squared and not a bit more.

[shamrockskullscarabs]

#easter island #travel

[shamrockskullscarabs]

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer are all found guilty of treason and sentenced to death by guillotine.

The priest reads them their last rites, then the king orders the executioner to kill the physicist.

The executioner offers the physicist two choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The physicist replies, “I spent my whole life studying the heavens. I would like to face the sky, with the hood on like night!”

The executioner positions the physicist and drops the blade… … and it stops inches from the physicists’ neck.

The priest cries, “It’s a sign from God! This man is innocent! Set him free!”, so the king pardons him, and orders the mathematician executed next.

The executioner offers the mathematician the same choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The mathematician replies, “They all result in an equivalent state, but hood off face down is the most elegant solution!”

The executioner positions the mathematician and drops the blade… … and it stops inches from the mathematician’s neck.

The priest cries, “It’s a sign from God! This man is innocent! Set him free!”, so the king pardons him, and orders the engineer executed next.

The executioner offers the engineer the same choices: would he like a hood on or off, and would he like to be executed face up or face down. The engineer replies, “I have always loved machines, and there is no more elegant a killing machine than the guillotine. I will spend my final moments marveling in its beauty!”

The executioner positions the engineer and, as he’s about to drop the blade, the engineer shouts:

“I see the problem!”

#jokes #humor

[shamrockskullscarabs]

The Tenement - a menace to all by Udo J. Keppler, (1872 - 1956) The illustration shows the spirits of alcoholism, opium, dens, prostitution, gambling and street crime, as well as the figure of Death, issuing from a tenement house

#udo j keppler #the tenement

[shamrockskullscarabs]

I would watch it.

[shamrockskullscarabs]

A lawyer woke up in the hospital after surgery

He asked, “Why are all the blinds drawn in here?” The nurse answered, “There’s a fire across the street and we didn’t want you to think the operation had been a failure.”

#jokes #humor

[shamrockskullscarabs]

Zombie setting where the undead are drawn towards unhygienic scents, so survivors constantly bathe to avoid being eaten.

Zombies are docile when adorned with flowers.

Settlements overgrown with herbs and flora.

Barely any banditry; everyone is focused on farming and gathering.

Different human factions and towns named after flowers like Lilies, Orchids, Roses, etc.

Instead of immediately killing an infected survivor, they’re given special funeral rites - the zombie is covered with flowers to keep them calm, and  allowed to walk out from the settlement to join the hordes.

[shamrockskullscarabs]

Cantao ocellatus

#insects #cantao ocellatus

[shamrockskullscarabs]

Writing has two stages:

1. you can't stop

2. you can't start to save your life

#writing #humor

[shamrockskullscarabs]

Apparently there's an evolutionary theory that the reason why Africa has so much wild big-ass megafauna while the big-ass megafauna on all the other continents went extinct is because they evolved right beside humans, and knew us well enough to not get hunted into extinction.

So while everything from giant koalas to giant sloths barely had the time to think "what the fuck is that" before getting pierced by a spear and getting their bone marrow gently fed to babies and the toothless elderly, Africa had elephants who had all the time in the world to learn to tell apart human languages and teach the next generations of their herd which human sounds mean that this tribe won't hurt you, but humans who make this kind of sounds are a danger. And hippos learned to conclude "I think I'll fuck up this two-legged weird shit on sight."

#science #theoretical thoughts #evolution #megafauna #africa

[shamrockskullscarabs]

Enrique of Malacca

Circumnavigating the world is no easy feat, especially when the world’s geography was so uncertain in the past. And while the world celebrates Magellan’s effort and success, Malaysians take pride in its success in honour of an entirely different person, known simply as Enrique of Malacca or Henry the Black.

Statue of Enrique in the Maritime Museum of Malacca, Malacca City, Malaysia. Photo obtained from Wikipedia.

A voyager of Malay descent, Enrique met Magellan when the Portuguese conquered Malacca in 1511, putting Enrique under Magellan’s workforce as his slave. In 1519, Enrique was enlisted in Magellan’s fleet to set sail around the Earth primarily due to his ability to speak the Malay language (which was the lingua franca of the region at the time). He accompanied Magellan throughout the expedition until the Battle of Mactan and Magellan’s death, after which he left the Magellan expedition on 1st May 1521 with the presumed intention of heading back to his homeland.

The route taken by the Magellan expedition, with milestones highlighted. From Cebu, had Enrique returned back to his home in Malacca, he would have been the first person to circumnavigate the Earth. Photo obtained from Wikipedia

Though there are no concrete records of Enrique after he left the expedition, there lies the possibility that he may have been the first person to circumnavigate the globe instead of the Magellan expedition. In order to claim the title, Enrique would have to reach his homeland which is considered HIS starting point instead of going back to Spain before September 1522, which is when the Magellan expedition entered Spain through Sanlúcar de Barrameda, their starting point when they first started the journey. However, as no record ever made light of this matter, it is currently unknown whether Enrique ever did make his way back to his homeland or lost his way somewhere.

Cebu island in the Philippines. The last place where Enrique was recorded alive after he left the Magellan expedition. Photo from Wikipedia.

While the truth of Enrique’s fate may present itself in the future, it is still a national pride that a native of Malaysia from Malacca managed to be a part of one of the most historical maritime expeditions of the early 1500s.

#malaysia #malay history #enrique of malacca #ferdinand magellan #maritime history #circumnavigation of earth #history

[shamrockskullscarabs]

do you ever just accidentally stumble across the most delicious sentence in the middle of a book and are forced to stop just to revel in its beauty??

#literature #reading

[shamrockskullscarabs]

Imagine you're a writer, and there are people scribbling in the margins of your books, underlining their favorite passages, leaving makeshift bookmarks between the pages (subway tickets, library receipts, handwritten notes), reading excerpts out loud to their friends and lovers or to themselves just to feel the words on their tongue, memorizing quotes and then copying them in their notebooks, daydreaming about your characters and excitingly speculating about what's going to happen to them in the sequel, writing reviews in their school newspaper.

#writing #writeblr #booklr #aspiring writer #writing motivation

[shamrockskullscarabs]

Catcalling :3

#cat art #cats #sleepimali #artists on tumblr #cute art

[shamrockskullscarabs]

‘Our Town’s Libraries’ which I drew for the @nytimes recently… Speaking of libraries, I have a new book out titled REVENGE OF THE LIBRARIANS and I am visiting Brooklyn NY, Philadelphia PA, and Columbus OH with it in the next week. Visit tomgauld.com for details…

#art #libraries #humor

[shamrockskullscarabs]

Ready to pounce an unseen victim or victims, the tiger draws our attention to it first before our minds wander to the raging storm and billowing vegetation in the background and foreground. It is an inspirational, haunting piece on the powers of desperation or determination, where our subject drags us in its devotion to the point of ignoring everything else that's happening elsewhere.

Perhaps that was the mind-state that Henri Rousseau was experiencing at the time of the painting's creation. A late bloomer in the art scene, he could have been desperate or determined enough to make a breakthrough into the art world. And that desperation or determination is poured into the painting where despite the dangers of the raging storm, our tiger is either very desperate or very hungry for food. Either way, it is a very dangerous mix to have that state of mind.

Perhaps, it was a good thing that his artwork was accepted at the Salon des Independants. Wonder what would have happened if the painting was rejected again, in that state of his?

Henri Rousseau, Tiger in a Tropical Storm, 1891.

#henri rousseau #tiger in a tropical storm #1891 artworks #art #favorite artworks #thoughts