Lately I’ve been going to bed not because I’m sleepy but moreso because I’m tired of being awake…and I know that may sound nuts and not so differential but goddamn being awake is exhausting. I be wanting to sleep my life away nowadays.
self made madam CJ walker
euphoria trouble don’t last always rue episode
little fires everywhere
on the record - doc
the invisible man
black is king - music
sound of metal
the king of Staten island
the social dilemma - doc
Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez - doc
the long goodbye
8:46 dave chappelle
if anything happens i love you
her apartment (rain)
12.16.2020 - Community
What does community mean to you, specifically? Is it a feeling, a unit of people, a place?
I used to have a community. I used to have community. When I was a child it was PAL, it was dance school, it was cheerleading, it was grandma’s house. Then all of a sudden communities because social networks and now communities are virtual. The communities keep changing and I feel like I haven’t even adapted to the last two or even gotten over the first few. I keep waiting for those communities to come back. Instead of people coming together we drift further and further apart. Perhaps I only feel this way because I’m on my own often. Perhaps I’ve stopped looking for communities or perhaps they’ve stopped existing. The ones now are not for me: TikTok, InstaLive, BookTube, Reddit, I don’t know. What community means to me though is just that: a commune, a togetherness, a collective. A group of people living together and sharing possessions and responsibilities, that is community. However, this “we are all in this together” thing always, nowadays, feels like the opposite.
How does community build strength for you and how will you choose to continue building strength for it?
This is hard for me to answer because I don’t have a community. When I join one I feel pushed out or ignored and when I try to make one I am the only one invested and investing in it. Therefore I can’t really build on something that I have never really experienced in adulthood ever. If I had a community, yes, of course, it would give me great strength. I look for community and try to build many, whether it be with my siblings, the staff of my building, my supporters online, or even my very small intermediate family. It often fails or falls flat, or just doesn’t feel good or seem to thrive. It’s quite discouraging. It’s even saddening to write about so I won’t anymore….
“Based on this photo: write about what it feels like to be and live in New York or a memory.” (12.10.2020)
Strolling through times square now is kinda like black and white. 2019 being black full of color and 2020 being white absent of all of it. All of the color has left the city it seems. Mickey and Whoopi dominated the past but the present is dominated by screens. Black and white, dark and light. The square is dark, it’s been dark for some time but went completed black this year with a gloom following you everywhere. Masks keeps us safe but in a way they mask our true emotions and expressions that we are unable to share with each other. We know what others feel but we can’t always see it. I live a few blocks away from the square, I used to hate it. So many tourists, clogging the streets, now I feel that thing my dad used to say “you always miss a pest”. I miss the noise, not to say the square isn’t noisy it’s just noisy now with cheers of the quarantined praising the workers and the hard work we endure when just staying inside seems like a chore. Mickey and Whoopi still today bring us joy looking at them in b&w then or color now is a pleasant reminder that the future can be bright again. A little cinematic like Dorothy going back to oz…back when.
(I wrote this on the fly in like 5 minutes just looking at the photo above. I think I’m a rapper/poet.)
Merry Christmas indeed 🎄🧑🎄
Yoda was right. Do or don’t do. There is no try.
This is 32.
#30s #goodbye2020 #yolaresa #birthday #naturalhair #fashion
This is 31.
Quarantine & pajamas & twisting my hair & masks (coverings and facials)…all my differing “hairstyles” & glasses galore 😁❤️
#naturalhair #quarantine #goodbye2020 #covid19 #yolaresa #shotbyshe #pajamas #30s #masks #facial (at New York, New York)
This is 31.
(More of my favorite stills)
#30s #yolaresa #throwback #goodbye2020 #youtuber #stills (at Hudson Yards New York)