past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare
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my friend drunkenly watched a TED talk last night was like “this stand up is terrible what the fuck”
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We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice.
- bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)
- loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any
- invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane
- one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden
- and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.
Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.
Long story short - I just baked a lemon drizzle cake, and it looks great but I can’t even eat it because MR AND MR NICE MUST RECEIVE AN OFFERING.
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Catholic Church: You can’t divorce Catherine of Aragon.
Henry VIII: yOu CaN’t DiVoRcE cAtHeRiNe Of ArAgOn
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I was looking at selfie sticks on amazon and i think this review is so sweet and cute
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“pineapples” except pronounced like “minneapolis”
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“Did you study for the test?”
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Ashlyn Harris : This just never gets old. #LifeOnTheRoad #USWNT @mpinoe
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Be the bigger person. Get really buff and then knock the fucking shit out of them
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i love capitalizing words that do not need to be capitalized At All so that you read them in that Important Voice
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