simpleasexual

[simpleasexual]

What pleases u in bed?

sleep

[simpleasexual]

whenever i see a post about someone wondering how an  asexual and a sexual can be in a healthy relationship there’s always someone being applauded for saying well asexuals can have sex too or just because someone’s asexual doesn’t mean they won’t have sex but i have never, not once, EVER seen someone say well hey, some sexuals don’t have sex. you can have a full relationship without sex. just throwing it out there

[simpleasexual]

Aromantic Valentines

[simpleasexual]

i think ace and aro people should be allowed to talk about their feelings about sex and romance, and how the fact that they’re so pervasive in our society has affected them, without having to baby everything down and wrap every statement in reassurances for allos

[simpleasexual]

Mmmm. There’s a lot of posts telling ace people that it’s okay to want and have sex and telling aro people that it’s okay to want and be in a relationship, and those are great and important and true but also.

It’s okay to never want to have sex. It’s okay to never be okay with sex, to have a completely sex-free relationship, to never feel comfortable having sex because you’re partner enjoys it, to never find any sort of joy in sex.

And it’s okay to never want a serious relationship. It’s okay to not want to date and it’s okay to want to spend your life single. It’s okay to never be in a serious romantic relationship and it’s okay to never be in a serious platonic relationship and you never have to have a romantic or platonic partner no matter what anyone says.

It’s okay. You’re okay.

[simpleasexual]

i think i’m in love with you,, have a nice day

You are nothing to me. I won’t

[simpleasexual]

wait sex is real?

[simpleasexual]

My issue with using the SAM is less that I have a huge issue with calling myself gray-aromantic asexual and more that once I do that I’m required to continue making the distinction between Ace Things and Aro Things which shrinks my asexuality to just being about not thinking people are sexy and forces me to grant equal weight to the term “gray-aromantic” which I don’t really have any strong connection to.

Simply put, at my core, I’m asexual. The rest is just words, and I don’t like being forced to use those words beyond as clarification of what to expect from me on the relationship front.

[idk if I'm allowed to interact since I'm not completely no-attraction, but I'm closer to no-attraction than not so 🤷‍♀️]

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This is an interesting perspective. I'm glad you voiced your feelings!!!

#anyone can interact #i just prioritize no attraction of any kind #if that makes sense #simplyasexual #submission

[simpleasexual]

Can we be just asexual if we prefer the asexual community to the aromantic one? It seems like most just ace people find the ace community really alienating but are okay with the aro one, but I've always had the opposite problem. It might be bc the ace communities I've been in have always been pretty aroace so I didn't get much of the "aces can still love" stuff while aro communities have always been "you should never conflate ace and aro" when that's how i experience my identity.

Yep!! Go ahead and have fun.

#tbh i don't feel connected to either community anymore #they've changed so much over threw years

[simpleasexual]

Frustrating that the community I loved and trusted for ten years, is now full of people patting each other on the back for participating in the culture that has ridiculed, erased, and hurt us for centuries.

Frustrating that any criticism of said community is met with hostility and aggression. The constant throwing of the word "valid" has now rendered it meaningless. Unconditional and uncritical inclusions has dissolved the barriers almost completely, leaving the distinction between "us" and "them" to nothing but "It's different because I said so".

Frustrating that any efforts to yet again rebuild a separate community considered betrayal.

#simplyasexual

[simpleasexual]

do you wish you were seeing somebody

a therapist 

#this post belongs to asexuals now

[simpleasexual]

And you'd still never see it in pop culture for another 20 years, if it can even keep momentum going. I've tried, and nothing clicks.

Maybe one day there'll be something.

Hmm. I keep seeing aroaces talk about how they wish there was a non-sam term for their own attraction. I keep seeing aroaces reblog posts in support for people who don't use split attraction. I keep seeing aroaces wish split attraction wasn't the default

And then nothing happens. There's a brief discussion about making a new term, then complete silence. Almost like a fleeting thought. It happens in nearly every aroace blog I see. The want for change is there, but it takes too much work.

I've said this many times and I'll say it again: Just be Asexual. Asexual is a complete term. Aromantic can be a complete term as well. This is our community, these are our terms. Their meanings are personal and different for everyone. You won't "betray" the community or yourself.

Anybody is free to make their own aroace terms. Anybody can stay aroace. I made my own terminology and flag for myself. The choice is yours, I'm just giving out options.

[simpleasexual]

Actually I'm going to post some terms I tried to come up with but never promoted.

Étoile - Literally just French for "star". Anyone who's interests, wardrobe and overall life are very bright and " feminine".

Bachelor - Chivalrous and well dressed. Typically more masculine. Intended to challenge the what being a bachelor really means

Spinner/Spinster - reclaiming the old terms used against single women. Never gave it a new meaning.

Webber/Webster - kinda like spinster. Never given meaning

Thornback- another reclaimed word. Permanently single.

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Again I never put much thought into these. I just felt like sharing them.

#simplyasexual

[simpleasexual]

Hmm. I keep seeing aroaces talk about how they wish there was a non-sam term for their own attraction. I keep seeing aroaces reblog posts in support for people who don't use split attraction. I keep seeing aroaces wish split attraction wasn't the default

And then nothing happens. There's a brief discussion about making a new term, then complete silence. Almost like a fleeting thought. It happens in nearly every aroace blog I see. The want for change is there, but it takes too much work.

I've said this many times and I'll say it again: Just be Asexual. Asexual is a complete term. Aromantic can be a complete term as well. This is our community, these are our terms. Their meanings are personal and different for everyone. You won't "betray" the community or yourself.

Anybody is free to make their own aroace terms. Anybody can stay aroace. I made my own terminology and flag for myself. The choice is yours, I'm just giving out options.

#asexual #aroace #simplyasexual

[simpleasexual]

You do have an option: Just be Asexual. There's no need for a new term. Asexual is OUR word. It always has been and always will be. Both of you are OLDER than the split attraction model.

I used to use split attraction just so I wouldn't inconvenience allo aces but now I don't care. I don't really interact with allo aspecs anymore and I just do my own things. I don't hate them i just didn't like being a minority in my own community lol

really wish there could be a term for aroace that isn't dependant on the SAM since obviously aroace isnt split attraction. like the SAM is not something that applies to me so i wish there was something to better describe my identity

[simpleasexual]

honestly the weirdest thing to come out of this aroace/aroallo thing is how people view non sam aros (and, by addition, non sam aces). they’re always linked in with the allo side of the community… but that’s weird to me because one of the important reasons i’ve opted out of the sam is because i’m not allo at all.

idk… how do other non sam folks feel about this?

#split attraction model #amatonormativity

[simpleasexual]

What reason might someone have for being a non-SAM ace?

The exact same reason for the overwhelming majority of gay, lesbian, and bi/pan people use one unique word to describe themselves. They express their love for their partner(s) by their desire to have sex with them; there is no need for an absolute distinction between romance and sex like in the aro and (romo)ace communities. People who are just and only asexual do not fall in love with anyone, and therefore do not have any desire to have sex with people. There is no need for a distinction either.