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What do normal people who haven't had half their personality shaped by the lord of the rings think about when they are scraping butter across bread?

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Neil banging out the tunes (c. 2016)

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Having anotheg 'gork we have got to get out of bed faster then this' morning

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Have you REALLY lost your scissors if you aren't walking around making scissor motions with your fingers in an attempt to lure them back out?

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I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth

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the thing that's so fucking funny abt kira and sisko's relationship is she's like look sometimes i need to talk to you as my boss sometimes i need to talk to you as my good pal ben and sometimes i need to talk to you as jesus. and sometimes her boss refuses a request and she goes, please, jesus and he's like. fuck you fine. and then twenty minutes later it's like oh my good pal ben and i are gonna go watch baseball later :) and they never discuss this.

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I’ve been staring at this gif for ages and it’s so funny.

Maul is just showing off and does this completely unnecessary jump to back away, doesn’t bother to use the Force to open the doors but throws something at the controls.

AND FUCKING OBI-WAN KENOBI CASUALLY WALKS UP TO HIM, SWINGING HIS LIGHTSABER LIKE “YEAH I’M GONNA FUCK YOU UP BITCH”

The longer I look at it the funnier it gets. He’s just not impressed at all lmao

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Honestly the best part of being a barista was charging cops for their drinks. They're so used to getting free shit so it was SOOOOO good for them to pull up to the window and for me to be like "$6.47 :)" and them to make this whole elaborate display of slowly pulling their wallet out and handing their card over bc they weren't expecting to pay. I'd charge you double if I could, oink oink bitch

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Me Giving a Pressed Conference: our advocacy for the disabled must include the addict, the imperfect victim, those we despise; the right to autonomy and life cannot devolve into a popularity contest

Reporter I Hate (Not Sexual Tension): Does that include all the attendees of the Bored Ape NFT event who went blind

Me: *Blood streaming from my nostrils and eyes* david, it includes everyone

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