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if ur seymour then i'm the carnivorous alien plant who is menacing you constantly <3

i'm gonna feed u rat posion

#* ooc #destroys u #gets killed trying

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twoey isn't gonna like that. seymour knows from past experience that the plant can hear through the glass panes of the front window and it's gonna have lots to say about being underestimated ; seymour shakes his head and fiddles with his glasses again. "n-no, but ... you care about money, and the plant's the, the only reason this place isn't going under right now," there's a touch more confidence to that. it's true, after all. mushnik's florals had never been on the radio before seymour was interviewed about the plant. they hadn't had a floral fridge or new flooring in decades before twoey. so maybe jules ought to give a shit about it. the fact it wants to eat them is secondary to that.

"oh. uh, yeah, of course," seymour scurries ahead down the alley and doesn't bother to hang back and close and lock the gate. either jules will or they won't be staying long enough for it to be needed. damn, seymour doesn't like it back here, not since - - - well - - - since he disposed of what little was left of the dentist in one've the trashcans back here. seymour hurries down the unlit path to a door in the side of the crumbling brick building and he unlocks it with sweaty hands. let them count the money in the back and then they'll be outta here! it's fine. nothing can go wrong. "uh, here," he fumbles for the pullcord of the overhead light and pulls down, illuminating the metal shelves of pots and floral foam and soil and all sorts of varying accoutrement of a florists ; pushed in one corner is an unmade cot and a dresser quite obviously grabbed off a curb at some point, a cracked mirror and a stack of books on top of it. "here, uh, you can count it in here."

they're used to fear, now. seeing it, whenever they approached someone who made the bad choice of getting into debt with the cartel. it's not something they enjoy, not like the others. watching the tiny man shake and stutter as if he were going to die if he didn't explain every last detail of why they were still standing out on the streets. then julian realizes he might. they didn't plan on killing him, but someone would, if this didn't go exactly to plan. they could easily take care of seymour, and then his boss, take over the plant shop, make it a front for whatever the cartel needed, after that. in a pathetic way, julian felt bad for him, but they didn't have room to feel those feelings in a job like this. so instead, they stood there for a long moment, watching him go through the motions of getting his words together.

' do i look like i give a shit about a plant? ' jules asks seriously, hands at their side, one grasping the bag of money tightly between tattooed fingers. the answer is no, in case seymour needed a little push, but it seems like he doesn't, as he finally begins to move, leading julian around the side of the shop and through the sketchy looking gate. ' you first, ' jules replies when seymour ushers them forward, refusing to turn their back on anyone. he didn't seem like he'd really be able to do anything, but julian wouldn't underestimate him. he could have a knife in his sock, a gun - much like their own - in the back of his waistband. chin juts forward just enough to emphasize their words, waiting for him to move again.

#e1ght8all #v ii. does it have to be mine?

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Demo version of “Downtown.” Of particular interest is Seymour’s alternate verse in the middle.

#* feed me ( audio ) #i love this i love demo versions of musicals

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LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 1986 | dir. Frank Oz

#* please grow for me ( audrey ii )

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WEDNESDAY | 1x04 “Woe What A Night”

#* or i'll rot here ( fc ) #blood / #flashing lights / #yeah

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i would reblog that valentine application meme but lbr seymour would say yes to anyone and everyone

#* ooc #man is desperate to feel loved/wanted/have attention

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seymour is anti-valentines day in the bitter way of never having anyone to celebrate it with and silently loathing the fact he has to sit at the shop and watch happy couples out the window and it's one of the few days people actually come into the shop pre twoey so he's busy getting happy couples their flowers while being alone and miserable.

#* headcanon #seymour rambling internally about it being a consumerist nightmare day but actually he's just lonely #and bad at handling it productively

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IF YOU KEEP SWALLOWING THE ANGER BACK - an independent & selective roleplay for an original crime based character, mainly set in better call saul / breaking bad. julian 'jules' / '8 ball' reeves, previously known as kai robbins. written & created by ash / they them / 25+. must be over 21 to follow & interact with this blog. triggering material such as violence, drugs, mobs / gangs, weaponry, and death will be present - follow at your own discretion. - IT IS GOING TO CHOKE YOU.

#* promo

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SANTA CLARITA DIET ⇢ 1x09 | THE BOOK

#* sweet understanding ( musings ) #lmao

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@slashaer said ; whatever it is, just tell me. it can’t be that bad. - alice.

IT MOST CERTAINLY CAN BE. worse than bad. terrible. seymour shakes his head and smooths clean hands down the front of his clean new jacket and looks down at his clean new shoes and pointedly does not look back through the shop window at where someone is fawning over the monstrously large plant. multiple people, actually. there's a line almost out the door and twoey is still and quiet and audrey is ringing up an order and seymour is - - - he swallows and smiles, shaking his head. "nothing's wrong, really," he tries to assure, "just - - - just real busy, with mr. mushnik gone ... on his trip!" the second part is added after half a second hesitation and seymour straightens his back and his glasses at the same time, "all sorts've stuff is happening all at once is all, so i'm a little out of sorts. but it's all fine. it'll all be fine." WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO CONVINCE, SEYMOUR? YOU OR HER?

#slashaer #v iii. the meek shall inherit #* ask meme response #:3

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&. 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  an  assortment  of  dialogue  prompts  for  various  crime  /  mafia  /  detective  /  criminal  underworld  scenarios.  trigger  warning  for  dark  themes.  feel  free  to  change  as  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ i always get paid in the end, one way or another. ❜

❛ maybe you just need someone to tell you what to do. ❜

❛ i don’t think you fully understand the situation you’re in. ❜

❛ rule one: don’t get caught. ❜

❛ i do what people pay me to do. ❜

❛ consider this a professional courtesy. ❜

❛ i want us to be friends. i want us to trust each other. ❜

❛ you thought you could just fuck with us, and we wouldn’t fuck with you? ❜

❛ can we just exchange three words without you pulling a gun on me? ❜

❛ the detective’s life isn’t an easy one. but it rarely lacks for excitement. ❜

❛ i don’t have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ tell me, what was life like on the other side? ❜

❛ so, to what do i owe this pleasure? ❜

❛ how many fights have you been in this week? ❜

❛ you want a silencer pistol? sure, if one’s on sale. ❜

❛ go ahead. you might as well finish the job. ❜

❛ can i at least buy you a drink? ❜

❛ you’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep this up. you know that, right? ❜

❛ we’re not all savages here, sweetheart. ❜

❛ the only thing that’s gonna keep you safe in this world is that gun. ❜

❛ i’ll teach you something about punishment. ❜

❛ do we have your allegiance or not? ❜

❛ why is it whenever we see each other, you’re covered in blood? ❜

❛ you wanted the truth. i’ve given it to you. it’s up to you what you do with it. ❜

❛ you’re playing nurse to a killer, you know. ❜

❛ this your idea of laying low? ❜

❛ looks like you could use a bodyguard. ❜

❛ you look great. like a million bucks of real money. ❜

❛ working together again, it’s just like old times. ❜

❛ drink all you want, but we need to stay focused. ❜

❛ you’re like a cockroach i can’t kill. i mean it in a good way. ❜

❛ you eat, or you get eaten. animals call it survival. humans call it business. ❜

❛ i could teach you how to fight, but i wasn’t equipped to take care of you. ❜

❛ i wanted to hurt them for the way they hurt you. ❜

❛ no one’s worth a bullet between the eyes. ❜

❛ may i have my gun back? ❜

❛ who taught you how to do that? ❜

❛ i’m gonna make you an offer. one time only. ❜

❛ i had it under control. you didn’t need to do that. ❜

❛ you still have to keep up appearances. ❜

❛ the bodies he buried laid the foundation of what we are now. ❜

❛ imagine how quickly you can succeed if you just take what you want. ❜

❛ that wasn’t a punch. if i’d punched you, you’d be on the floor. ❜

❛ the choice to live an ordinary life is no longer an option for me. ❜

❛ i need you to focus on this case. not on me. can you do that? ❜

❛ you’re still an honest person. it’s the rest of the world that’s gone crooked. ❜

❛ all you need to do is exactly what i tell you to do. ❜

❛ i’ve done things i’m not proud of. i’ve hurt people and i’m going to hurt more. ❜

❛ blood money buys the best art. ❜

❛ everyone who ever helped me is dead. i don’t want that to happen to you. ❜

❛ i don’t kill people. not even scumbags like you who deserve it. ❜

❛ you treat all your ladies like this? ❜

❛ you’re not very good at retiring. ❜

❛ remember who the real enemy is. ❜

❛ you’re one of us now. nobody ever tell you that? ❜

❛ i’m the lucky one who pulled you out of the garbage. ❜

❛ if it were up to me, you would’ve been dead a long time ago. ❜

❛ everyone in that room has lived far worse than anything you’ve ever done. ❜

❛ if you’re doing it to help someone, doesn’t that make it okay? ❜

❛ you don’t get to be at the top without making enemies looking to tear you down. ❜

#* ask memes

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"One side of you is compassionate, artistic, and impressionable; another side is detached and philosophical, broad-minded and unconventional, dedicated to scientific truth and its application for the common good."

"Restlessness underlies your personality; it is the symptom of your yearning for something that is just beyond your reach. You need change and variety and are often discontent with your present lot."

"As an individual with Gemini Rising, you can be happy and unhappy at the same time, satisfied yet dissatisfied. Of course, this can be said of many people, but in your case you are discontent for a specific reason: You feel you have not lived up to your potential. You sense that there is an experience just over the horizon that will make you feel truly fulfilled, and you resent the strictures that you may think keep you from venturing out to find it."

what if i just give seymour my birthday and chart. man does give pisces sun aquarius moon gemini rising energy.

#* ooc #ANYWAYS

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what if i just give seymour my birthday and chart. man does give pisces sun aquarius moon gemini rising energy.

#* ooc #listen am i saying i have the chart of someone who would feed people to plants for fame money and love? maybe! #inflicts seymour with my horrifying all water and air chart

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— D.H. Lawrence, from “Sons and Lovers.”

#* sweet understanding ( musings ) #ha ha ha ha ha ha

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AH, JEEZ. he could've seen that coming but for some reason seymour imagined they would've just counted it quick out here and then left. it's enough. it's gotta be; seymour funneled the money that was supposed to go towards re-tiling the walls and getting new blinds and finally getting the lock on the front door fixed so they could've done away with the arsenal of chains and bars that he's gotta secure every night into that paper bag. it makes sense they don't want to count it out here. not like this skid row street is known for being kind to folks carrying around stacks of money. but they can't - - - they can't come in. twoey is getting ... BOLDER. and the plant has already had the idea of eating the one who comes to collect ; the vines could too easily snare an ankle and pull them right in, and then where would seymour be? looking down the barrel of a gun, probably.

"you can't!" his voice warbles and seymour moves so the arm against the wall is instead on the doorknob. the audible gulp of a swallow is the next thing that follows and then seymour shakes his head and searches for the next words, "it's - the - we've gotta have the lights out after a - a certain time, for the, the plant," his hand not against the door gestures to the sign in the window, in front of the closed blinds, proclaiming that A PICTURE WITH THE INCREDIBLE AUDREY II CAN BE YOURS FOR ONLY FIVE DOLLARS! "it's, it's real finnicky, meant t'be in a different climate, you see, and if - if we turn on the light and disrupt its schedule, i won't - it'll be - it's what brings in the money, so," pull it together, krelborn! what would mr. mushnik say if he saw you out here stammering like this? seymour shakes his head again and glances around, "i - i mean, we - we gotta go through the back, and stay outta the main storefront." that's better. the back room where he sleeps is out of twoey's reach, and maybe its range of hearing. "so. so, uh, this - way." with that he steps off the stoop and heads towards an alley blocked off by barbed-wire top chain-link fencing. there's a gate with a lock that he spins the code on and pushes open, gesturing shakily for them to go first.

in julian's eyes, this place isn't worth it. mushnik is a sad, pathetic little man, kind of an idiot, but he owed their bosses money, which meant he was their problem. the last time jules entered the shop, they had to put the old man in his place. it wasn't their favorite thing to do, and they'd rather intimidate with their words, but mushnik thought he was slick enough to talk his way out of paying what he owed. he thought wrong. now his leg was broken, and jules had to instead meet with the even smaller and somehow more pathetic shopkeep, seymour krelborn. someone who had a strange debt, all his own, to the owner of the shop. jules didn't really care what it was. they had one job, and that was to collect. that's what they intended to do.

they don't expect to see seymour outside, but they aren't startled, and no surprise is shown on their features. in fact, they look entirely emotionless ; a skill of self preservation learned over the years, a poker face so no one knew what they were thinking. once the bag is in their hand, they glance over the man, who looks as if he's going to pass out. some people ( most, julian would argue ) aren't cut out for this type of thing. nor should they be. if seymour didn't stick around with mushnik, he would never have had to meet any member of the cartel. unfortunately for him, he gave his loyalty to the wrong man. ' gotta count it inside, ' head nods to the door behind seymour, urging him to open it. they couldn't just pull a stack of cash out in the middle of the street, regardless of the time.

#e1ght8all #v ii. does it have to be mine? #don't be suspicious don't be suspicious

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my future's starting, i've got to let it! stick with that plant and gee - my bank account will thrive! what am i saying? no way! forget it! it's much too dangerous to keep the plant alive. i take these offers, that means more killing - - - who knew success would come with messy, nasty strings? i sign these contracts that means i'm willing to keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things!

independent seymour krelborn of the musical little shop of horrors. written by bee (24, they/she, est). #SKIDR0W.tumblr.com

#* self promo #blood /

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thing is, twoey has been awfully NOISY about eating ever since it got a better taste of ... human flesh. it wants more and is settling less and less for seymour's scarred up fingertips ; it wants meat now, too, not just blood. and it has raised the name of the very person seymour is already expecting to see tonight. YOU DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH THAT DEBT COLLECTOR ANYMORE, SEYMOUR! and he doesn't, he really really doesn't, but seymour's not dumb enough to try and bump off someone who only beat mr. mushnik into bedrest when they could'a killed him for the money he owes. well. the money seymour owes, now that he's taken over the shop while audrey ii keeps raking in money and mr. mushnik recovers from the injuries.

that doesn't stop twoey from bringing it up, though. loudly. repeatedly. it's why seymour is sitting on the stoop of the closed up flower shop with a paper bag tucked under one arm. he tries not to let himself think of bringing one to the dentists office with it, the gun he didn't have to use to kill orin scrivello, dds, hidden away inside. now it's just money. just. a nervous, bandaged hand adjusts his glasses and seymour peers down the street and startles when he spots the semi-familiar form of the debt collector turn the corner. he stands up too fast and stumbles a bit, woozy - - - twoey does still take the drip-fed blood from his fingertips and the plant seems to find the way it leaves seymour off balance funny, which isn't great. none of this is great, though. what's new. "i, uh - i've got it - here," the paper bag is thrust out soon as they're within reaching distance and seymour keeps the other hand braced against the door so he doesn't do something dumb like take a headfirst tumble off the stoop, "it - it should be enough." @e1ght8all

#e1ght8all #v ii. does it have to be mine? #>:3 #violence /