skiesandflowerss

[skiesandflowerss]

"Days will pass, and you'll abandon things you were addicted to, and leave someone, and cancel a dream, and finally, accept a reality."

– Nizar Qabbani

[skiesandflowerss]

and how your 20s makes you crave to be that silly little girl again

[skiesandflowerss]

I have lived alone all my life

then why not now?

why my body craves to be leaned on?

why my footsteps wait for someone to catch my pace?

why I need a person to watch over me cause I fear of falling, I fear of being the only one left?

why there has to be a sound or a presence of someone real near me all the time?

why flowers and skies and moons no more attract me?

why these quotes on here no more seem relatable?

why words have become meaningless?

#questions always seemed so serious

[skiesandflowerss]

Is it Spring yet?

nobody visits your graveyard Shirley

they left you down, they left you to rot

they call out your name

they call you after the name of things you used to do

the other girls there,

they too are getting forced to leave

why leaving is the only option girls like us are left with

why can't we too stay there, claim our possession like those men do, like our brothers and fathers do

they give and then they give you

they sent you away Shirley

and now they are sending every girl out there

your home is so empty and clueless without you,

although they gave all the things that belonged to you

there is still you there Shirley

they do see you in things

there is your remains that scream and crave to be brought back

they say, we all have gone through the same thing

Shirley they all look like us,

The Women

#long time no see #skiesandflowerss

[skiesandflowerss]

things go too far sometimes

I don't remember being confident ever if there were more than two people in the same room

my childhood somehow passed in hiding and trying to find someone who would find me pretty and smart

I remember tiring myself up cause I didn't know how to look presentable for people to like me or admire me or think of me as someone who is more than just a regular shy child

I guess I was always this grumpy cause I believe I was born insecure

as a child when you see kids around you being adored and loved and celebrated and you on the other corner being the only child with nothing in your hands hurts when you grow up

they say, you get to know your exact size at some point in your life but before than that you have to go through so many of wrong ones but in my case I'm never reaching the end, I'm always in the process, I'm always somewhere in someone else's story, I am never on my own writing my own version, wearing that exact size,

#skiesandflowerss

[skiesandflowerss]

Paralysis again. How I waste my days. I feel a terrific blocking and chilling go through me like anaesthesia.

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath ⁠— 4th November 1959

[skiesandflowerss]

and no wait!

wait wait wait, I have an answer, I have an answer to all of your questions and I'm finally very clear in my mind that I want to talk about it so loud

You asked me, why have I become like this? Why am I not able to explain what's happening? Where is my life going? Why have I gotten stuck with this nothingness?

I have been thinking about the answer since or may I say I knew the answer before you even addressed these questions. It's been 6 months now and as you say 6 months is long enough to help me get back at life, as you say I don't know you from before so I can't tell what you were passionate about or if you were passionate enough to get to a point but I am here with you now so you have to show me you're made for big things, you have to prove to me that I'm not becoming a barrier cause I can't live with this guilt for so long for it is making me sick now. I listen to you everytime you come to me with these concerns I listen to you with my whole heart and trust me my heart aches when you tell me that it pains you seeing me living a hopeless life, it troubles you when I don't step out for weeks, it scares you seeing me getting weaker day by day...

It took me so long to just sit with myself, mentioning each and every point that have made me be like this, it took me too many people telling me to just get up, it's high time and finally I have come to the very core of this sickness that has been gnawing upon my skin and i know where it has come from, me being a dead body alive... It's me missing my mother, it's me acknowledging the fact that my mother is not with me in the other room, it's me not being able to accept the fact that my mother has given me away.

#skiesandflowerss

[skiesandflowerss]

random clicks

#skiesandflowerss

[skiesandflowerss]

Random dump maybe!?

#skiesandflowerss

[skiesandflowerss]

“I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again —”

— Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Russel Vernon Hunter, from Georgia O’Keeffe: Art and Letters (New York Graphic Society, 1990)

[skiesandflowerss]

It's summer and I'm afraid of being hopeful

last June I wrote something about a weary heart,

it got stitched though

before the monsoon arrived,

and got fully healed when winter was bidding goodbye

the new year came

I met a nightmare

and that meant to be not having your presence around

this was summer again

and I can't see you here

I can't find you sulking about the summertime sadness

I'm clicking pictures of faded sunsets and abandoned woods

and you are not around

they told me that things have changed

things are meant to be where they are

people are meant to be with whom they are

the sun is rising when it should be,

the moon sleeps at it's time,

noons and the evenings seem to be the same

I look around and it's all the same

but you and I

we are not here

we got lost maybe....

#something that doesn't make sense #but whatever #skiesandflowerss #excerpts #inkstay #my writing

[skiesandflowerss]

how for so long I had been waiting and when my wait almost met a chance it seemed like i was no longer in the same position

#excerpts #skiesandflowerss

[skiesandflowerss]

me to myself lately:

#hey girl #stephen sanchez #skiesandflowerss

[skiesandflowerss]

i’m kind of like if a girl did nothing with her life

[skiesandflowerss]

and suddenly all the things I loved and made a fuss about with anyone I found being interested in were gone,

[skiesandflowerss]

Sometimes I wish I needed books and music More than I do. Today I don’t need anything — I didn’t want my lunch. And, more remarkable,  I feel quite tolerant about the tinny buzzing From his earphones. I shall just sit back And think about the things you say and do And nothing else. The journey takes almost an hour.

— Wendy Cope, from “On a Country Bus,” in Serious Concerns

[skiesandflowerss]

#skiesandflowerss #my photgraphy