skylights2000

[skylights2000]

It’s 2am, and I’m being called out lol

[skylights2000]

Hey Syler! Your letter did send the first time, but I’m really glad you sent it twice because I accidentally deleted the most recent one, and I was really panicking 😅

I really don’t mind that you used this format again. It’s one of my favorites because I’m a space fanatic. I love stars and planets. I love seeing the different phases of the moon, and which constellations are out depending on the season. Did you know some constellations only show up during winter, while some only show up during summer? Someone told me that recently. Im not too sure if it’s true, but if it is, that’s really cool!

As for my favorite constellation, it’s hard to pick. There’s so many to pick from! My star sign is Cancer, but it feels kind of silly to say that’s my favorite. I used to know the stories behind a lot of constellations, but I’ve forgotten them over the years. I should go look them up again later.

My favorite color is a difficult question, solely because it changes depending on my mood. Right now, it’s yellow!

I absolutely adore baking! You’d think I would love cooking too, but baking is just so much more fun to me. I did make chicken alfredo for my family one time, and it was really good, but that’s probably the only thing I’ve cooked from scratch.

I almost became a baker, well, technically a pastry chef. It was my first choice for my career (other than being a writer). I ended up deciding against it though because it took all the fun out of baking for me. Having someone yell at me about perfect measurements and following the recipe to a T just wasn’t for me.

I recently got a book about how to design and draw video games, and I’m really excited to read it!

Wow, that’s a crazy legend. It’s very interesting though. I’ve never heard of that one before, so thank you for telling me! I honestly don’t think I could settle on one legend to be my favorite. There’s a legend behind the stars Vega and Altair, and that one is one of my favorites. Bear with me because it’s been a long time since I’ve read the exact legend, so I may get a few things wrong.

From what I remember, Vega was celestial princess, a goddess of the sky I believe. She was Immortal, but she was weary because she would live in eternity alone.

One day Altair, a mortal, caught Vega’s eye. She descended from the heavens to greet him, and as they got to know each other, she fell deeply in love. Vega promised Altair that no matter what they would be together in the heavens.

But when Vega’s father found out, he was furious that his daughter had fallen in love with a mere mortal. His anger only grew when he discovered that Vega promised to bring Altair up to the heavens with her.

Vega’s father granted the promise that she made, but there was a cruel twist. The two lovers were placed in the sky as stars. Yet while they were both in the heavens, they were not together. The great Celestial River, (known to us as the Milky Way) separated them.

Yet each year, a bridge of magpies formed across the Celestial River. Though it would only be for one night a year, the two were reunited because Altair dared to travel to her.

The star that represents the bridge is called Deneb, and I’ve always remembered that name because it gives me so much hope. I’ve never been one to believe in Fate, but that legend gives me hope that no matter what happens, good things can prosper and come to fruition. It’s a beautiful story to me.

I hope you’re having a lovely day, and sorry for the late reply! Things have been crazy with the school year starting so soon, and sometimes I forget to check my notifications 😅

See ya soon,

~Madison(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

PS: Here’s a picture of my dog a few days before he had to be put down. He’s such a cutie 🥰

[skylights2000]

Hi Syler! It’s always really nice to hear from you!

The move was frustrating, but I’ve finally almost finished unpacking my stuff. I just have to unpack all my books (and find space on my already cluttered bookshelf to put them).

I understand what you mean about a tough week, and I’d be happy to listen if you ever wanted to talk about it. It hasn’t been a great week for me either. We had to have our family dog put down on Monday. I’ve had him since I was 7, right around the time I first got diagnosed with depression, and he was always there for me. He was legitimately my best friend when I thought the whole world was falling apart. He was really old though and had developed heart worms that was too extensive to treat in such an old dog. It was a really hard decision to make, but we couldn’t stand hearing him cough and whine because of the pain he was in. It was one of the most painful things I’ve ever done, but I was so happy I got to be there with him. I wore this bright yellow sundress and refused to cry until he had passed. I really just wanted his last memory of me to be seeing me smile while I held him.

It still hurts really bad when I think about him, and I miss him more than I could explain, but I’m so, so happy that he’s not in pain anymore. I know wherever he ends up, he’ll be okay now, and that’s enough for me.

Autumn doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting. It’s more like acceptance, if that makes any sense? It’s accepting that good things happened and so did bad things. The memories will always be there, but I can accept the positive emotions and slowly start to shed the negative ones just like the leaves on an autumn tree.

I’m glad you have such a wonderful imagination, and it’s even better that you can channel it into something so beautiful!

Thank you for believing that I can make the kind of games I want! Not everyone has been so supportive of my career focus, so it’s nice to hear someone that just has faith in me.

You also don’t have to worry about boring me or anything like that. I really enjoy talking to you, no matter how mundane the conversation may be! I hope you have a really lovely day!

See ya later!

~Madison(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[skylights2000]

Ooh, that sounds so cool! I’m glad you have something that really makes you happy! I love art, but I’m not very good at it. The only thing I’m really good with is watercolors. I knew a girl in my last year of high school that was super good at nearly every form of art. The only thing she couldn’t do was watercolor stuff, so she used to ask me for help while she was learning. She’s way better than me now, and I’m really proud of her. She told me that watercolor art suits me because she said it’s such a chaotically beautiful form of art. Since so much water is involved, you don’t really have full control over it. I think it’s really fun, but I’ve met a lot of people that say it’s too stressful for them. So, I guess comparing me to watercolors could be taken as a compliment or an insult.

I’ll definitely be more watchful over my flowers now so they don’t get harmed. My pansies are purple, yellow, and white. They’re really beautiful, and they’re such resilient flowers. They spread so quickly, so we’ve got some growing in the yard now too!

Autumn has such nice weather. It’s chilly but not freezing. I wish I lived somewhere where the leaves actually turned different colors. Here they just turn brown immediately, so it’s not as fun. There’s something weirdly beautiful about Autumn though. Excuse the incoming philosophical rant. Even though it’s seen as a dying season, Autumn also has this sense of comfort, for me at least, because it gives way to this feeling of hope almost. Autumn has always been an introspective time for me because, like you said, everything is dying, and it gives this kind of closure for me. It’s like everything that’s been worrying me is dying too, and it just leaves me feeling so hopeful for what’s coming next when nature, and metaphorically my life, blooms again. Ah, that’s the end of my rant. Sorry for rambling! 😅

I can’t say anything on the vampire front because it’s been so unbearably hot here, and I haven’t left the house more than absolutely necessary. I used to tan a lot when I was young, so my family always jokes that I wouldn’t be so pale if I ever went outside.

I really like the story of Hades and Persephone even though it’s kind of sad. It’s a really interesting myth! Your idea of proposing with a pomegranate is actually really sweet! I think that would be a really wonderful meaning behind it.

I get what you mean. Horror novels aren’t for everyone, but I’m glad you had a few stories that you did like! As for Percy Jackson, once I get my books unpacked, I want to reread the whole series. It was so incredible, and the storyline and character development was so well written.

I’m so excited to start learning to make games! Some of my all time favorites were Undertale, Detroit: Become Human, Angels of Death, All the Danganronpa games, The Ace Attorney games, Pokémon, The Sims 4, Fnaf, Donut County, Paper Mario and the Thousand Year Door, and I’ll stop there, or I’ll keep going all day 😅

I hope you’ve had a really nice day! You deserve it!

~Madison (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[skylights2000]

Hey, what if we get married?...

Just kidding!~

... Unless...

Btw I hope you have a great day, I wanted to write you another letter today, but I didn't have enough time... I promise to send one tomorrow!

Do I need to buy a ring? Because I will

PS: I hope you’ve had a lovely day, and I look forward to your letter! 🥰

[skylights2000]

Aw, I’d love to hear from you as often as you’d like! I don’t mind however you prefer to send your letters, so you’re welcome to do whatever is more convenient for you! Thank you for offering your time to me, and I want you to know that you’re always welcome to talk to me if something is ever bothering you. Don’t be sad though. The things that happened to me sucked, but it’s made me a lot stronger. It’s also made me able to help others that are going through the same thing. Getting help from a professional is important, but talking to someone that understands really helps, and I’m really happy that I can be that person for some people!

The rose looks so beautiful, and I bet your other flowers are too! I’ve always loved gardening, but I’m pretty forgetful, so I can’t plant any high maintenance ones. I planted some pansies at our new house, and I love how they look. There’s so many pretty colors, and it makes the backyard look more welcoming if that makes any sense. I also planted some daisies seeds that I’m really excited about!

Spring has always been my favorite season! The flowers bloom and make everything look so colorful and bright. I live in Mississippi, and most of the time, the weather is either way too hot or freezing cold, but in Spring the weather is perfect. It’s not too hot and not too cold, and overall it’s just such a wonderful time.

As for the move, it’s going really well! We’ve had a few hiccups, but nothing that wasn’t fixed within a few days. If everything goes to plan, we’ll hopefully be moving in by next week.

Oh man, I haven’t stopped to read a book in a while. The most recent one I read was The Suffering by Rin Chupeco. If you like horror novels, I really recommend it! The first book is called The Girl From the Well, and it’s probably one of my all time favorites. Horror movies freak me out, but I love the stories, so I started reading horror novels instead. I still get the stories without the added pressure of a possible heart attack. I haven’t read the books you recommended, so I’ll definitely check them out. Another favorite series of mine is the Percy Jackson series. If you like action and adventure, I highly recommend it! I’m a sucker for Greek Mythology, so that’s another reason I love the series.

I love video games! I just finished getting a general education degree from community college, and I’m about to go to a university to get a graphic design degree. I want to make video games mostly, but I can also do a lot of other things with that degree in the meantime, so I’m really excited about it! Are you in high school or college (Or neither. College isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay too)?

I hope you’re having a nice day!

~Madison (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[skylights2000]

Moving On (Life Update)

Hey everybody,

I know it’s been a really long time since I’ve posted anything other than responses to people, and I’m here to offer an honest explanation and tell you some things I’ve been avoiding.

I don’t really want to go all the way back, but I think it’s needed for context, so bear with my rambling for a minute.

I’ve never been very good with people. That may seem shocking to some of you, but that’s because you haven’t met me. Online, I can think and put my thoughts into words, but in real life, I’m not good with words. I often say things wrong because I don’t know how to express it, and a lot of people get annoyed with that. I never really had friends because of that. The only friend I had through childhood was my sister, and that…It wasn’t a good relationship. I’m well aware that siblings fight. That’s normal. But, fights with my sister were far from normal, and they only got worse over time.

I was diagnosed with depression for the first time when I was 7 years old, though I didn’t really understand that at the time. I was put on antidepressants that my parents called ‘happy pills’. They didn’t want to tell me what they were actually called because I was a curious kid, and they knew I’d look it up or ask someone about it.

Over time, I learned to manage it, and they eventually took me off the medicine. For a while, everything was fine. Then, the bullying started. There’s never been a time in my life that I wasn’t bullied by someone. Some of them were outright violent while others were emotionally violent. My sister was the worst of them though. She was manipulative and mean. She talked her friends into hating me and quite frankly, made my life hell. I ate alone in the corner of the cafeteria to avoid people. I flinched every time someone walked too close to me. I would push my dresser in front of my bedroom door because it didn’t lock, and I was afraid of my sister. The saddest thing was that I thought it was normal. I thought it was normal for me to be treated that way because I had never experienced any different. My parents both worked hard to make ends meet, so they weren’t around often, so I really didn’t have a loving relationship with anyone. Even when I learned that I wasn’t supposed to be treated that way, I still didn’t fight back. Maybe it was just because she was the only real constant in my life.

Things kept getting worse though. My sister became physically and emotionally abusive. She treated me horribly, but the worst part was that she convinced me that I deserved it, that I had done something disastrous just by being born. She treated me like I was a disease that she couldn’t get rid of. So, I tried to do the job for her.

I started self harming when I was in 8th grade. I failed classes, lost my will to do anything, and slept through most of the day because nightmares kept me up at night. I wrote my first suicide note that year. I never used it, but I never got rid of it either.

Remember how I said I wasn’t good with words? Yeah, I meant that. I was so bad at them that I wrote my mom a note explaining that I needed help because I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t even say it to her face. Pathetic, huh?

Either way, I got help and was put back on antidepressants. Things didn’t get better though. The abuse escalated, the bullying got worse, and the self harm became more frequent. It was a vicious cycle that I dealt with until 11th grade. The worst year of my life.

That was the year they found my old suicide note. I was put in inpatient care at a hospital that dealt with trauma and mental disorders. That’s where I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety, Depression, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I got out, and things were better for about two months before things went right back to the way they’d always been. 5 months after that, I tried to overdose on my sleeping pills. Obviously, that didn’t work out since I’m here writing this.

Things actually did start to get better after that. My parents finally realized just how far the damage went, and my sister finally saw just how much pain she’d caused.

Both of us started going to therapy, both, seperate and together. The bullying at school stopped after word got around about what happened. Some of them even apologized to me, and I eventually learned how to forgive them. It didn’t erase what they did, but holding onto all that anger and pain was only hurting me. It was still hard to let it go. I didn’t know what I would be after the pain was gone. I was afraid of finding out. But eventually, the pain of holding on became greater than the fear of letting go, so I’m sure you can imagine which one I chose.

I started writing when I was in 7th grade. I really got into it though shortly after I turned 17. It was my escape, a place where I could dream of anything and live a better life, even if it was only temporary. Writing and Music were my passions. They still are. I have more music than I do anything else, and I have hundreds of documents of things I’ve written on my phone.

I started this blog on a whim as a way of escape for me and anyone else that needed one. This blog grew far beyond anything I thought it would be, and I’ve met so many lovely people because of it. That’s why I’ve been pushing myself so hard to keep posting new content, but one day, I just stopped. I couldn’t think. Ideas were few and far between, and motivation, or lack thereof, became my biggest obstacle.

I felt useless when I wasn’t writing because so many people were using me as their escape. Things got shorter and more rushed because I was trying to cram every ounce of creativity I could into something before my motivation vanished again. It wasn’t good, and after a while, I started to see that my escape had become a chore, something I did just because I felt like I had to, and I hated that.

So, I just stopped posting. For a while, I stopped writing altogether. Then I got in this huge fight with my family, and my sister slapped me for the first time in almost a year. In a way, it was almost like I reverted back to my old self. I pushed the dresser in front of my bedroom door, brought out this old, bulky pair of noise canceling headphones, blared my music, and started writing. I made it through the entirety of my ‘Favorites’ playlist (which is 253 songs) before I took a break, and it felt good because I wasn’t writing for anyone else. I wasn’t writing to impress other people. I was just writing for me.

That’s what I want. I want to write without the worry and pressure. That’s why I’m putting this blog (and all my other writing blogs) on an official hiatus. I’m not saying I’ll be gone forever or that I’ll never write here again. I’ll still be around. You can still message me. I’m not disappearing. I’m just taking more time to let myself recharge so that the times I do come back here, I can come back with the full force of my imagination.

I’m not leaving you guys, so don’t go thinking you’ll never see me again. Whether you send a message, leave a meme, or just like something, I’ll always be there. I’ll always be here.

I love you guys,

Madison (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

#i love you guys #this isn’t a goodbye #it’s just a see ya later

[skylights2000]

I’m really proud of everything you’ve done, Zi. I know from experience how hard depression is to deal with, and knowing that you’re reaching a better place in your life makes me really happy! I really hope things continue to get better for you because you deserve it. You’ve written so many wonderful things that gave me a chance to escape too, so thank you for that!

Love you,

Madison (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

A letter to all my followers

‼️TW: Mentions of depression‼️

I started this blog back in February of this year. And that was a time when I truly needed comfort in my life. January and February were truly the darkest months of my life and I needed a healthy coping mechanism that didn’t put me in harms way. So I began writing comfort self insert stories to sort of… take me away from reality to a world that I didn’t have to worry about anything. And while I loved that other people found comfort in them and loved what I did. This blog was more-so for me than anyone else. I needed an escape and this platform provided one for me. But since my last story. There have been many big changes in my life to the point where I no longer need to create content for this blog. I’m in a much better place than I was 5 months ago and things seem to be going in a direction that I want them to keep going. So this is a letter to announce my departure from this blog. It’s definitely a bittersweet thing because while it did provide comfort for me and many of you, I also realized that I’m in a place in my life where I’m much more content. It would be pretty shitty of me to just abandon this blog without letting anyone know, and I’m sick of promising more content when I always knew that I would never live up to what I told you all that I would do. So this is my official letter of resignation. I really enjoyed the time that I spent writing stories for all of you, but it’s time for me to close this chapter and start a new one. I love each and every one of you and I hope you all go back and re-read what I wrote every once in a while and it provides you comfort in the future as well.

Best wishes! -ZiZi 💕

[skylights2000]

This is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever seen! You’re not bothering me at all. I really enjoy hearing from you! I thought about writing a letter back, but my handwriting is really awful, and I was afraid you wouldn’t be able to read it 😅

I’ve been doing pretty well, and I’m happy to say that my mental health is finally starting to improve! I’ve still been writing a bit, but it’s just been stuff for me. I’ve been doing a lot of writing exercises that I found online, so I hope I’m improving.

My family and I have been in the process of moving, so things have been pretty crazy. I really don’t like packing, but I’m gonna hate unpacking even more. I’m excited but also kind of sad to be leaving. I understand that we have to because our house is old, and so many things are broken or falling apart. Overall, it’s just not a safe place to live anymore, but it’s still sad in a nostalgic kind of way. I’ve lived here since I was born, so it’s weird to think that we’re leaving. It’s exciting though too. I finally get to have a room that’s not like a shoebox (though that’s partially my fault because I have no skill when it comes to furniture placement) so that’s really nice.

Ooh, white roses are so pretty! Have you ever seen those peach colored roses? Those are my favorite color of roses. We also have these wildflowers that grow here. They’re called spider lilies, and they’re really beautiful! They’re my favorite flowers. I wish they grew all year around, but I’m still happy to see them every spring.

I hope you’re doing well too. You really deserve it. Thank you so much for writing such a beautiful letter (I love the Evan Hansen reference, by the way)!

I hope you have a lovely day, Syler!

~Sky (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

#Such a cute letter #I love it! #thank you for sending this! #you’re such a wonderful person!!

[skylights2000]

was that jin in your other post? :o

It was! 😄

[skylights2000]

Howdy!

Just here to remind you that you are absolutely awesome and wonderful! And I luv ya!

Thank you so much!! I love you, and I hope you’re having a lovely day!! 🥰

[skylights2000]

Thanks @genderfluid-depresso-bean for the tag!

Last Song: Meteor by MAX

Last Movie: The Grudge

Currently Reading: Toilet-Bound Hanako-Kun

Currently Watching: NCIS: New Orleans

Currently Craving: Chocolate Covered Strawberries (I haven’t had any in a long time, and I want some)

@monarchvkat @generous1ty @anyone else that wants to do this

Catch up game

Tag nine people you want to know better/catch up with.

Thank you @idieonthishill for tagging me!

Last song: I know by Tom Odell. I’m a big fan of Britpop!

Last movie: The Current War

Currently reading: Candide ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Currently watching: Shadow & Bones. The Grisha Trilogy is one of my favorites but I kinda hate the ending :(

Currently craving: iced coffee

Tagging: @kiliane @mayhem-olympia @that-common-rue @shiftywing @shailaishere @historiia-she @agalios @theravenclawrevolutionary @jason-xh if u want to do it :)

[skylights2000]

Ah that wasn't a request! i'm sorry it came across as me telling you or asking you to take requests! thank you for replying!

Oh no, don’t worry! I didn’t think you were asking me to. Ah, sorry about that. For someone that loves to write, I’m not always the best with words 😅

[skylights2000]

have you ever considered taking requests for Ryoma? I feel like he’s gone unnoticed because of his design :( not that thats your fault! i just feel bad for him and thought he deserved recognition

I’m honestly not sure why Ryoma isn’t requested much. I don’t know much about him because I haven’t played V3 (because I’m both broke and don’t even have something I could play it on).

I’m not really doing requests at the moment anyway because I’ve been on a mental health break while I work on some other stuff, but honestly any character can be requested unless they’re on the list of characters I won’t write for which is pinned to the top of my blog under ‘Important Information’.

I hope that helped answer your question! 😌

[skylights2000]

Welcome to the cutest picture taken in the most uncomfortable position (It was worth it) (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

[skylights2000]

You should make a blog where you put up anon nicknames and emojis for us to use if you haven’t already! (Example: 🌸 Anon / Or Floof Anon)

That’s a pretty cool idea! I’ll have to look into how it would work, but it’s a really fun idea. Thank you!

[skylights2000]

Hi I think your an amazing person whether you like it or not.

I love you 💖

And take care✨

Oh my god that’s so sweet 😭💕

I love you too, and I hope you’re having a lovely day! Be sure to take care of yourself too! 🥰