slapkorsesbaldhead

[slapkorsesbaldhead]

[slapkorsesbaldhead]

my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called “zone 3” youll be zonked out of your gourd

me: yeah whatever I don’t feel anything

me five minutes later: dude i swear i just saw The Phoenix Witch out in the desert

my buddy grasskid jim pacing: tommy chow mein is lying to us

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the zones are hot. don't like that. or maybe i do, not sure actually. growing up as a tunnel rat didn't help my tolerance. i stole a van on my way out of the city. just in a quirky silly mood today :-)

i want to star on the radio some day, hopefully the broadcasting equipment i stole will help. it was in the back of a pick up truck at a market, hope no one misses it too much. like i said, silly quirky mood :-)

this is newsagogo, signing off for the night :-)

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I reprogrammed the sex robot to start killing btw

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This is still the funniest shit to me. Why in the world would you say that to a comic book artist

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i'll be yr android grrrl

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red and blue from danger days california my beloveds

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theres so many trans girls in the world it fills me with joy and hope

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[ID: an edited screenshot of a tumblr post to be by hot chimp. the post reads "party poison has conversations like it's a competition. the post is then reblogged with a screenshot from official--partypoison saying"yeah that's the point, why else would you talk to someone", with the response being "please please help me".]

[ID: status that reads "i have the worst taste in men. if i have ever like you please work on yourself". The post is edited to be by Rosa Laserbrain,]

[ID: An edited cherri cola tweet. "I refuse to discuss the subject further. My opinion will not change. If you continue to annoy me, I will kill you. This discussion is over."]

[ID: A tweet edited to be from Red. Attached is an image of Destroya. the tweet reads "graffiti bible artists are about to do insane things to this mans cervix".]

[ID: a screenshot from Spongebob Squarepants featuring the character Squidward with a fearful expression (eyes large, nose shrunk, mouth agape). The caption reads, "When I'm in a worst person to give the aux to competition and my opponent is party poison" end ID]

[ID: edited tweet reading "@.capitalGgirl I'm gonna go outside and light myself on fire. What are we doing to our beautiful queens". The tweet is posted by @.therealval, with the display name "sorry about the city thing"]

[ID: youtube comment by NotVamos, saying "when the music hit i feel no pain at all. The icon is Vaya.]

[ID 1: A tweet from Your Boss @.mdmDirector that reads, "No I don't want your man. I'm not even sure why you want your man." a partially transparnt image of Korse and his boyfriend can be seen on the tweet]

in-universe dd memes, ft a post canon val

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[ID: Caption that says "When you see the same crashqueen your crewmate was competing with to hit on Uncle Hankle last week disconnected from their body on wednesday". Attached is a still from the Sonic Real-Time Fandub of Sonic looking surprised while Tails and Knuckles stand next to him. Sonic exclaims, "Woah, he's bisexual, I didn't know that!" End ID]

[ID: A collection of violent art of stick figures captioned "girls when the Witch doesn't gaykiss them at the Zone Four geysers" End ID]

[ID: A meme of an edited Wikipedia page. The title is "witchfucker Syndrome." The summary says, "Instead of brain there is the Phoenix Witch." The picture is captioned "like this" and shows a head with an image of the phoenix witch edited over it. End ID]

[ID: A meme from The Office. Dwight, labeled "The Witch" smiles absently while standing in a bar. Angela, who is much shorter than him and labeled "Zonerunners on wednesday" quietly approaches behind him. When Dwight realizes she is there, he jumps and curses: "F--ck." Angela smiles at him unsettlingly. End ID]

[ID: The 1984 calendar comic, a newspaper comic where a woman sits at a desk and reads from her phone with an upset expression. She says: "can you shut up about the Phoenix Witch for one wednesday." In front of her, a man with a distressed expression flips his calendar from December 2020 to January 1984. End ID]

In-universe danger days memes: well. you know what day it is. aha <3

[slapkorsesbaldhead]

TIPS FOR SPOTTING A KILLJOY HIDING IN THE SLUMS:

1. THE KILLER COUGH: This is the most noticeable sign of a killjoy who has recently travelled into the Slums. The dry dust that contaminates their lungs moistens with the air conditioned environment, causing breathing distress and coughing. May produce a brown phlegm-like substance. Dubbed the ‘KILLER COUGH’ by Slum residents, on account of its revealing nature to the authorities.

2. THE SAND WALK: Take a closer look at the individuals gait. Do they push forward and plant their feet with a strange amount of force when walking? This is due to an extended amount of time pushing though sand, which creates a SAND WALK.

3. THE SUN SQUINT: Look at the individuals face. Are they squinting to an excessive amount? This may be a SUN SQUINT, in which the killjoy’s eyes are used to extended amounts of sun glare. They may struggle in shadowed areas, with complaints of low light and/or visibility.

Other signs include but are not limited to: Strange and ill-fitting clothes, shivering and complaints of cold tempatures, sand and dust residue depositing from clothes and hair.

SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING.

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MOUSEKAT!

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ITEM DROP: the entirety of some unlucky souls pockets. and their bag. go sell this junk at Tommy's at a mark-up itll be funny.

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favourite genre of horror is the “everything’s fine” horror. like “yeah there are genuinely terrifying things happening right now but if we just give the citizens reassuring broadcasts they’ll forget about all the deaths”

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all cyberpunk stories are like “If you wanna crack open a cybercroissant this nasty, you’re gonna need a real top notch e-driller. i know a guy- Toledo Killswitch- he’s got the frag ordinance you need to grizzle this bocce ball.”

[slapkorsesbaldhead]

there’s such a peculiar poignancy to saying “I miss [this fictional character]” or “I miss [this work of fiction/media]”

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on this day four little faggots decided to go be transgender in the desert to fight god vampires and capitalism while dressed like an art supplies truck crashed through the window of the world's sluttiest thrift/army surplus store. amen