sluttytonystark

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27 seconds of rhodey (and tony) being 100% done during the iron man 2 court scene

[sound on for the best experience]

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please hate my favorite fictional character accurately at least

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Peter: sometimes I think that I'm a smart person who makes good decisions

Peter: other times I fall asleep on the ceiling and Mr.Stark has to wake me up with a broom

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I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

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it even has the worried grimace of irondad

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the real reason why they haven’t made a War Machine movie yet is because they know that Rhodey would take the villain out in 15 minutes tops and then the rest of the movie would just be him sighing dramatically and looking handsome while Tony’s on fire or something in the back ground.

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personally I like to think steve’s birthday isn’t actually July 4th but someone asked him when his birthday was when he was doing his little show tour thingy and he just said it as an accident and/or a panic response in a bid to seem even more patriotic and everyone believed him and now it’s like 100 years later and he’s too deep in the lie to back out now bc he knows all the avenger’s would fucking publicly roast him if he admitted july 4th wasn’t actually his birthday- like he would literally never live that down- so he lives his life in fear that some bitch ass historian is gonna find his birth certificate and expose him 

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yeah we know pre-civil war tony never has his shit together and rhodey, pepper, happy, and jarvis are holding like 80% of his life together but also he's the kind of person that calls his friends at 3am like "hey I'm at walmart do you guys need anything"

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blue blue rose

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Coulson lent them his Special Edition Captain America deck of cards.

In the event of damage, Tony will be tazed.

In the event of naked Captain America, however, he might be inclined to call it even.

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Happy birthday to Steve Rogers across the multiverse!

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natasha stark-rogers for @ishipallthings who showed me dresses natasha could wear and i couldn’t resist so i drew this

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Loki: You want me to do what? I can’t do that! It goes against my moral compass!

Thor: Your moral compass is a roulette wheel.

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Miles, meeting Ham for the first time: Ok, but why do you sound like John Mulaney?

Ham: *Small chuckle as he moves towards Miles*

Ham: *Whispering into Miles’ ear* You shut your fucking mouth.

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tony stark: *signs legal documents with a glitter gel pen*

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Marvel CANON: Shuri and Tony are friends and help each other and are about to save the world together. Because SCIENCE!

So take that, all you would-be instigators of some kind of “rivalry” between them.

Science and technology are not about “who’s smarter” (how do you even judge that? In what field??) or imagined rivalries. Science and technology make progress because of COLLABORATION.