smol-grey-tea

[smol-grey-tea]

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

#q #maybe

[smol-grey-tea]

Have you ever struggled with jealousy cause of your maladaptive daydreaming? I'm struggling with jealousy against a real life celebrity from my hometown living my dream life. I never thought anyone from where I'm from would be famous. But now they are & living my dream creatively. Also this person is beautiful unlike me. I'm not as talented, chronically shy & don't meet beauty standards thus I wouldn't be successful in this career. Plus my deeply religious upbringing & people pleasing wouldn't allow me to try & join. I can't even tell my parents I'm an atheist. It sucks cause only two years ago I used to pray my maladaptive daydreams would come true somehow. I literally need to find a way to stop being jealous cause this celebrity is all over the internet. I either have to drop social media or find a way to mute this celebrity on all platforms. I live on the internet cause I have zero friends. It's my daydreaming haven. Or I could just try "exposure therapy" & read the posts while 'crying' in JEALOUSY. I tried talkspace, cause I was to embarrassed to tell a therapist in person. But unfortunately for me my therapist didn't consider maladaptive daydreaming or my jealousy a serious thing. But I get an upset stomach every time I see a post of this celebrity it sucks. I hate this feeling I want to be happy for people not jealous. Especially when I know I'll never ever live out my daydreams. Usually I use celebs as an inspiration I don't know why I can't do that with this celeb...

Hi! It seems you found my blog from a post I made back when my blog was about MaDD. I do still have MaDD, even if I no longer post about it, but it's definitely definitely much easier to handle now. I used to have to pace every single day for hours at a time, so much that I would even have to pace while I was on sleepovers with my friend and would have to delay leaving my house for multiple hours for the purpose of daydreaming and pacing

You sound like you are not only struggling with the amount of daydreaming and how much time it takes out of your day, but also how it affects you emotionally and your view of your own life and such. And I know, it does suck. I did the same thing as you; I did try to wish my daydreams into existence, and at the age of 14 I tried to escape my own reality, thinking it was a simulation, thanks to the voices I heard.. I know what it's like to be so unhappy in your own reality :(

And I know how bad it feels when people don't take your experiences seriously. I tried to seek help at sixth form and when I described my MaDD as an illness similar to OCD, the counselor completely ignored the daydreaming aspect and how it affects me entirely and only focused on the compulsiveness of the pacing I do whilst daydreaming. I felt like I wasn't being listened to so I completely gave up on that. Therapists should prioritise the patient and what they want to focus on, rather than what they think is right or wrong.

It quite wrecked my education and I practically failed cuz the urge to pace was so strong I couldn't study and had to do all homework the night before. It was quite hell. It sounds like you are going thru just that.

To help you with this, I think I'd have to know a bit more about your situation and how similar it may or may not have been to my own. I'm going to assume that you still live with your parents and may still be in some kind of education, so you might still be quite young? And I don't know what country you live in, so I'm not sure what the health services are like where you live. Either way, here's my experience:

After finishing education, I tried to get a job. I managed to get about 2 and a half days into the job before having to quit because of the panic on the job being too strong. Nothing much wrong with the job itself, my brain just felt like I physically couldn't/shouldn't be doing that job

When I told the job centre about why I quit, they urged me to go to the doctor about the anxiety. It took a long while, since I'd never been to the doctor on my own before, but I finally got an appointment

I spoke to a doctor about my experiences and I've been on sertraline ever since then. On sertraline, my urges to pace/daydream still occur, but much less often and to a much tamer degree. It's a lot easier to ignore (altho it has been a while since I've gone a day without pacing 😬 my longest streak was 4 days, but my mental health has plummeted since my nan's funeral in February, so I've not been making as much of an effort to reduce pacing.... Wait, does that mean it's been like 4 months???? God..)

I think this got slightly off topic since you were actually asking me about if I experienced jealousy. I don't think I've had that experience necessarily but I do definitely relate to the experience of desperately wanting, needing that life, even if it's not even an objectively good one..

It sounds like you feel like this because of not recognising your own potential tho. If this other person from your home town can achieve it, why can't you? Even if you feel shy, I think it's still worth it to work on your skills in your own time and privacy where you feel comfortable

If fame and love is where this need is coming from tho, perhaps you could try and find love in other ways instead of looking specifically for being a celebrity? Altho, having experienced your experiences, I understand that it's not all just about the feeling the daydream gives you, it's about being in that world specifically in real life, so I understand if that advice isn't exactly helpful to you

I don't know about your specific circumstances but I highly recommend starting medication if you haven't already. It doesn't work for everyone but it has done wonders for myself and if there's a chance that you can get the same success, then it is 1000% worth it just to try. I was scared of it taking away my daydreams, and while your brain gets used to the change in hormones, things do go haywire for a bit, but then it evens out really nicely and, in my experience, my daydreams have stayed intact at least til today, so you don't have to worry about that ❤

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have more questions. I do encourage asking myself and other MaDDers about their experiences, you'll get more help from them than from therapists imo. I don't want you to feel hopeless. I myself haven't experienced the jealousy but I am certain that you will find someone else who's had the exact same experience.

Please do not lose hope!!!! (*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ for reaching out!!!!!! There is an end to this hell, I promise you, it is out there. I know how hard it is, I promise. But it is possible to live with your daydreams and not have them make such a strong impact on your life ❤❤❤ you are worth it, please keep trying 😊 (*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ

#my post #ask #madd #actually madd #maladaptive daydreaming disorder #i can link you my Spotify music playlists if you'd like any of those..... 👀

[smol-grey-tea]

additionally let's say ur in a specific location like every day of the week where there is no uniform restriction n there's this person always wearing one specific pair of shoes given tht u even notice they're wearing one pair of shoes everyday

#prev woag.. i wish mine had it as a character. #you fascinate me„ frend #dw I've figured it out now 😘

[smol-grey-tea]

u ever wonder if ur a mutual who your mutuals are scared to talk to

#prev 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i didn't know !!! #i just chattin here.. #(*ˊᗜˋ*)ᵗᑋᵃᐢᵏ ᵞᵒᵘ !!!! #I'm glad you like seeing the old stuff.. i dig up the old things by going thru blogs and searching for nameless and then finding the blogs #they've reblogged from and then the ones they've reblogged from and the ones they've reblogged from and- and so on..

[smol-grey-tea]

additionally let's say ur in a specific location like every day of the week where there is no uniform restriction n there's this person always wearing one specific pair of shoes given tht u even notice they're wearing one pair of shoes everyday

#prev how did you put commas in your tag #i have 1 pair of shoes. not because I don't have the money or something but i HATE shopping for shoes. well i have another pair for formal #occasions. i really think I should buy another pair of shoes cuz i get too hot in my trainers. idek what a cool pair of shoes might be tho. #my best friend however has a good collection of shoes he'll decide to wear depending on his outfit. he's a very fashion oritented person #whereas i mostly just wear whatever I need to wear and he often says my clothes clash but that it's sort of my style. idk much about style #especially w shoes but ik i like plain/patterned colours and I love cropped top + hogh waist bottoms combo. it's my favourite thing in the #world.

[smol-grey-tea]

u ever wonder if ur a mutual who your mutuals are scared to talk to

#q #tumblr #yes i think ppl hate me /srs #and am wondering if ppl do or don't. ik it's my Tumblr n i can do what I want w it but is it hated.

[smol-grey-tea]

That's great!! It sounds like you're really enjoying the game then if you're about to start Red's route!!

I do also recommend Dandelion but agree that Nameless is much better, not just in terms of gameplay but story too!

I agree about Mystic and Ssum. I'm not as much of a mobile gamer either and the difficulty of a game can make the story unfortunately inaccessible

I'll definitely keep an eye out for your Nameless/Dandelion posts in future, thank you 👌 Nameless has been my biggest special interest for the past 7 years, so if you ever need someone to scream about it to, I'm always available to talk about it! 😌😊😁😁😁😁

Nameless Route Review: Yeonho – The Cute Aggression is Real

Here’s the first of my Nameless Route Reviews. SPOILERS ABOUND, so don’t read further if you plan to play the game and haven’t. If you do…well, I warned you. Often I’ll start my otome games with the route I’m least interested in, or one I’m less interested in than others. Much of the time, I’m not interested in the shota or shota-coded love interests (the younger, cuter ones meant to appeal to…

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#undescribed #cheritz #nameless the one thing you must recall #nameless

[smol-grey-tea]

@acidxlullaby

It can't be to Ann Lovejoy, it's to my dad!!

Unless my dad is called Ann Lovejoy or he picked up the wrong postcard.. Idk why he'd pick up Ann Lovejoy's postcard, idek who Ann Lovejoy is

I'm convinced it says hottie. Why would it say Lottie and Ann Lovejoy 💀

#my post #undescribed #poll

[smol-grey-tea]

I'm convinced it says hottie. Why would it say Lottie and Ann Lovejoy 💀

#my post #undescribed #poll #help!!

[smol-grey-tea]

Woah, thank you for taking an interest in Nameless!!!! 😁 it's my favourite game and the fandom's super small, so I super appreciate this cute review!!!!

Yeonho is such a good character with such a good route!! And quite a good introduction to the game I think, tho I Lance is probably a better one.

I hope you enjoy Lance's route!!!! And I really hope you continue to write reviews as you continue playing!!!!! 😊 I'd be very interested to read them all :3

Nameless Route Review: Yeonho – The Cute Aggression is Real

Here’s the first of my Nameless Route Reviews. SPOILERS ABOUND, so don’t read further if you plan to play the game and haven’t. If you do…well, I warned you. Often I’ll start my otome games with the route I’m least interested in, or one I’m less interested in than others. Much of the time, I’m not interested in the shota or shota-coded love interests (the younger, cuter ones meant to appeal to…

View On WordPress

#undescribed #cheritz #nameless the one thing you must recall #nameless

[smol-grey-tea]

Hi friend, in the spirit of the boop event that encouraged people to interact more, I just want to say that I appreciate you as a mutual! Have a great day <3

Thank you so much!!!!! You're appreciated too!!!! 😁😁😁 whenever I see you in my notes, imagine I am booping you still. 😌 The booping never stopped, it just stopped being a feature of Tumblr 😊

#HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO FRIEND!!! 😁😁😁😁😁 (*^o^)人(^o^*) 👋👋👋 #my post #ask #boop #tumblr

[smol-grey-tea]

Preserving the cuteness. (´∀｀)♥ I’m sad these don’t get added to the in-game album!

#nameless #nameless the one thing you must recall #q #cheritz #undescribed #I'm sad there's no Yuri one!!

[smol-grey-tea]

this post about Niantic having a small number of staff in comparison to big companies like King and Supercell

reminds me of Cheritz

in their VIP Orientation Book (or was it the TOP SECRET one? I glanced through both)  they mention that for Mystic Messenger

they only had a total of 28 staff (and programmers are a small portion of it).

which is TINY for something as complicated as Mystic Messenger. they are inundated with things to solve too but unlike a game with already loyal fans (Pokemon), MM is breaking new grounds. They are doing something that is entirely unknown in the otome world.

So, just like Pokemon GO, let us be patient and trust Cheritz too!

#q #cheritz #nameless the one thing you must recall

[smol-grey-tea]

Tei’s bad endings are really…. Teiriffic

#q #cheritz #nameless the one thing you must recall

[smol-grey-tea]

When you see people getting heated about the games of Cheritz and their similar world’s but you’ve played them before the birth of MM fandom

#q #lmao #undescribed #cheritz #cheritzverse #i k n o w

[smol-grey-tea]

So after market fiasco, the first thing I look at is ofc the menu u___u A few liberties taken to make descriptions more grammatical and delicious sounding.

Carrot Cake -Yeonho

The carrot cake filled with Yeonho and Eri’s sweet memories! A milky cake topped with a tiny carrot (Yeonho’s favorite part). Share the sweetness of the cute carrot cake with Yeonho.

(I thought he was supposed to be bb chick, not rabbit?!)

Choco Cookie - Red

Red’s favorite chocolate cookies. Red, who likes chocolate, often receives sweets from the girl students. But even chocoholic Red can’t forget the taste of these cookies?! Please enjoy Red’s favorite chocolate cookies together with him.

Secret Garden - Yuri

Yuri’s heart, filled with tea leaves from the secret garden. The narcissist Yuri is just like this charming luxurious fragrance. While other women give expensive gifts, Eri brought Yuri his beloved secret garden. Feel the true love hidden beneath the narcissism.

ZZZ - Tei

When Eri can’t sleep well at night, Tei makes her tea. This tea’s name is ZZZ. Will drinking this tea really make sleep come quickly? Try and see for yourself!

Candied Lemon Tea - Lance

Eri gave this lemon tea to Lance. With one sip, it immediately became his favorite drink. However, Lance’s personality does not let him express it well at all. Feel the sweet and sourness of the lemon in Lance!

#q #undescribed #cheritz #nameless the one thing you must recall #so cute!!!!!! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

[smol-grey-tea]

WHAT am I in screen shots on other websites???? Where??

sexual attraction: wow I wanna fuck that

romantic attraction: wow I wanna date that

sensual attraction: wow I wanna cuddle that

aesthetic attraction: wow that exists

#WHAT #show me #tumblr