smoldinobeans

[smoldinobeans]

no method, just madness

[smoldinobeans]

is this a cry for help or am I just slowly losing myself?

[smoldinobeans]

Thinking about that one time I tried to kms, and i ended up in hospital, and my boyfriend at the time just started flirting with other girls like some kind of insurance policy in case I died or something

#this genuinely happened #its kinda sad #cause i stayed with him #for like over a year afterwards #haha #funny #humor #shitpost #self deprecating jokes #dark humour #jokes

[smoldinobeans]

the sexual tension between me and falling fucking apart

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tumblr is twitter for kids??????

#funny #haha #humor #I'm gonna die alone

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on a man detox, women only from now

#the joy of being bisexual #bisexual #its not working though #why do i have to be attracted to men #its so inconvenient #humor #funny #haha #its not funny though #shitpost

[smoldinobeans]

tumblr is so good for anonymous breakdowns omg

#im in a constant state of breaking down #my mental health is shit #haha #funny #jokes #its not a joke anymore #please help me #i'm literally going insane #i'm in a state of delerium #i need to sleep

[smoldinobeans]

the way my problems just got called invalid by a therapist though <33

[smoldinobeans]

I must be a radioactive element because holy fuck I'm unstable

#shitpost #its not a joke anymore #or is it? #a level chemistry #live laugh fuck off #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #these tags aren't even relevant anymore #these tags are all over the place #anyway #life sucks #haha #funny #memes

[smoldinobeans]

me vs actually remembering I have tumblr

#it was going so well until it wasn't #this was my therapy #and i just FORGOT #is this why I'm mentally unstable? #who knows? not me

[smoldinobeans]

snost and lost

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how do i brain dump when there's nothing in my brain?

#no because its actually empty #am i dumb or just mentally unstable? #i need these answers #please I'm dying #its not funny

[smoldinobeans]

summers coming up, time to catch up on 5 years of sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion

#ive literally done nothing for the last 5 years #how am i tired #i slept for 13 hours last night #how am i going to survive #i'm so fucked

[smoldinobeans]

lay down and cried, now there's tears in my ears

[smoldinobeans]

me, an a level maths student, lying in bed, calculating the latest I can stay in bed without running late

#i hate a levels #maths is bad #i'm lazy #let me live #i don't want to get up #life is overrated #why

[smoldinobeans]

me (right) next to my straight crush (left)

#I'm gay okay #I'm not mentally stable #let me live #I'm a bisaster #bisexy #why am i so homosexual #i have no rights #i'm so funny #spoiler alert #I'm not joking #thats a lie #i have a boyfriend #its so straight of me ew #but anyway #lowkey me with half the people i like #my first female crush #thought she was straight #she wasnt #never liked me though #crying #im here #im queer #im full of existential fear #if anyone gets that reference I'll marry you #I'm talking to myself at this point #help

[smoldinobeans]

things I've heard on day 3 of as level exams

on the bright side, if I fail, I'll have met expectations

*in response to being told to switch off phone and go into the exam hall* "fuck off, I'm revising"

*girl walks out of exam, is immediately hugged by friend 1*

friend 2: "wait I wanna go next!"

I was just writing things at that point, it didn't make sense

what the fuck was that

I MIXED UP NEUTRONS AND ELECTRONS OH DEAR GOD

that fucking lady would not shut up and she was right in front of me. I was on the verge of yeeting the bitch

why does that examiner sound like she's been yelling for the last 80 years. I've heard less voice cracks in a 14 year old, prepubescent male

I wish i could listen to music in my exams just to stop me overthinking and crying

why is the exam so fucking long

why was I more worried about the January internals than the real exams?

I'm gonna need some serious therapy after this shit