softlysun

[softlysun]

remember your cosmic roots

#film #aesthetic #film photography #pnw #waterfall #pnwphotographer #nature #adventure #im in love #doc martens #grunge #weed #love

[softlysun]

anyway, don’t be a stranger

#stranger in the alps #music #aesthetic #late night #film #phoebe bridgers #scott street #grunge #wlw #weed #doc martens #SoundCloud #pretty #love #pnw #beautiful photos #film photography #happy

[softlysun]

i want to know your soul from the inside out

#I’m in love #i love my bf #seattle #aesthetic #crystals #flowers #pretty #pnw #pike place #pike place market #film #beautiful photos #crystal shop #plants #my love #happy

[softlysun]

love to just get into some of your stories

me and all of my plain jane glory

#film #aesthetic #love #music #doc martens #grunge #wlw #pnw #waterfall #converse #cats #fairy #film photography #happy times #old friends

[softlysun]

life genuinely feels so pointless to me,

i have no motivation to work my way out of darkness

i cannot scratch away the feeling of wanting to take my own life no matter how much i try to dig it out of my skin

i’m so humiliated to be myself

i want to mutilate myself

i picture this beautiful and simple life and the more i think about it the more it feels like an unobtainable dream

i don’t want to be around any of my family or friends

the only person i feel comfortable around is my boyfriend and even at that i am so embarrassed by myself that im scared

im so fucking scared and my parents don’t even care to hold me, i could fall apart and take my final breath in my bedroom right now and no one would check on me.

everything hurts

[softlysun]

if jesus died for all of our sins

he left one behind , the body im in

[softlysun]

i find myself in the bottom feeders

i see myself in the seagulls that hound the park goers for crumbs of their picnics

i cry for the roadkill i pass in the street, for i see my own body lying there, empty handed, stranded.

i cannot help but feel sorry for myself,

to grip handfuls of moss and see bugs as mirrors of myself.

i am the wind, i am brittle leaves, i am a deserted pond, overgrown with algae and tadpoles. forgotten.

i am a vulture and i am the mouse in it’s mouth.

i am a forgotten tree house, i am used batteries

#poetry

[softlysun]

people pretend to care about me until they see me cry for help then it’s as if they can’t hear or see me

#bpd thoughts #boderline personality disorder #quiet bpd

[softlysun]

[softlysun]

i feel unloved sometimes because i remember no matter how much someone may love me it’ll never compare to the raging and completely helpless, mentally ill obsession that runs through my veins. i will love violently from the core of my being and they will love me at natural capacity.

#bpd #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #i’m so sad #it isn’t fair #i want to be normal #mentally ill

[softlysun]

my mentality always catches up to me in my moments of solitude.

i feel unworthy of the most innocent kinds of love,

i will never be the person someone looks at so fondly they feel the need to create for me, or search for me... and live.

passion feels so natural to me, everything i look at mirrors who i love. i pick things up, and i make things from scratch.. and i devote my time because i love,

and i admire.

i try so hard to be lovable without even trying

it’s all for nothing

#bpd #bpd vent #i am so fucking sad #even when i’m in my most loved state of life i feel unloved #i am incapable of happiness #thoughts

[softlysun]

todo pasa

#film #fairy #glowing #forest #aesthetic #film photography #wlw #poetry #books #photoshoot #love #fae #fashion #photo inspo #faery aesthetic #nature #y2k #art #fairycore

[softlysun]

best pussy disorder

[softlysun]

every single last thought i’ve had about myself has been true and i will carry that with me for the rest of my life

living inside of my own mind will never be easy for me and i make everything harder for the people around me too

[softlysun]

i will be eternally fucked up forever for the rest of my life i am genuinely a waste of a life

[softlysun]

the problem is that nothing is wrong but my brain creates endless problems to convince me that something is wrong, that i did something fucked up and ruined my life even though i’m sitting on the ground while the world spins and nothing is out of the ordinary. i’m sitting on my bedroom floor and nothing is out of the ordinary but my heart is crumbling as if my life is is falling apart, so things must be falling apart right?

[softlysun]

there will always be this urge in the back of my head that tells me i need to take as much of anything as i can and never wake up again, fuck up my life so bad with pills and needles and drugs because i’ve watched so many people cope that way. it seems like the perfect form of self harm that i feel so deserving of, to sit and rot within an addiction that deteriorates my brain, and my bones, and my relationships, and my breath