solaeria-arch

[solaeria-arch]

It’s you, isn’t it? ━━━━ It’s you, isn’t it? You’re the traitorous goat. I noticed it, I noticed it, the shape of a red apple up ahead ━━━━ It’s you, isn’t it? It’s you, isn’t it? ━━━━ I noticed it, I noticed it   ;   So grotesque ━━━━ “You’re” the evil one, yet “I’m” the one getting judged. Baphomet won’t be travelling on his own anymore!  ━━━━ The crimson roses on my head cry out when the black bell tolls and chimes  ;  I’ll numbly bid you farewell.  independent, selective and mutually exclusive multimuse blog  .  written by  lua  .

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . promotion . #self promo . #( this is where i'll be now !! )

[solaeria-arch]

I am officially archiving this blog !! you can now find me at @dalihua

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . ooc .

[solaeria-arch]

you know what I miss?? f x m ships

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . ooc . #don’t mind me I am just.....thinking #men legitimately and wholeheartedly loving women???? a concept we are lacking these days #just.....y’know.....would be nice

[solaeria-arch]

                                           .     ❛    a gift for   ━━━━  @victoriious​

As   a   young   boy,   Ainosuke   lived   surrounded   by   yellow   ;   not   the   hideous   kind   that   hurts   one’s   eyes   ━━   but   a   golden   hue,   warm   and   inviting,   colouring   the   mansion’s   walls   with   his   childish   joys   and   his   mother’s   sweet   voice.

                                               ━━━━━━━━

                                       ❛                  De   colores               ❜            ❛                  De   colores   se   visten   los   campos   en   la   primavera               ❜   

                                               ━━━━━━━━

After   that   spring,   the   one   mamá   had   taken   him   to   Spain,   Ainosuke   saw   his   life   turn   grey.

                                               ━━━━━━━━

Meeting   Kaoru   and   Kojiro   brought   life   back   to   him   ;   he   was   not   free,   still   down   at   the   bottom   of   a   pit   ━━━   suffocating,   drowning,   and   yet   taught   to   think   it   was   meant   to   be.   But   Kojiro   and   Kaoru   made   his   soul   want   to   fight   ━━━━   gave   his   wings   strength   to   fly,   despite   the   cage   of   steel   he   resided   inside.

                                               ━━━━━━━━

                                       ❛                  De   colores               ❜                  ❛                  Son   los   pajaritos   que   vienen   de   afuera               ❜   

                                               ━━━━━━━━

They   showed   him   colours   he   had   never   seen,   made   him   feel   feelings   he   had   never   know,   yet   as   all   good   things   go,   Ainosuke   had   to   leave   ━━   he   left   them   behind,   not   even   a   single   goodbye,   not   a   proper   one   anyway   ;   cryptic,   silent   ━━━   keep   them   safe,   keep   them   blinded.

And   the   rainbow   of   life,   once   again,   discoloured.

                                               ━━━━━━━━

                                       ❛                  De   colores               ❜                  ❛                  De   colores   es   el   arco   iris   que   vemos   lucir               ❜   

                                               ━━━━━━━━

Ashes,   ashes   we   all   fall   down   ━━   that   was   what   the   children   sang   in   America,   and   they   were   not   wrong   ;   ashy,   that   was   his   life.   Painfully   monochrome,   Ainosuke’s   heart   craved   for   more   ━━   he   craved   for   colour   where   there   was   none,   how   could   he   paint   in   this   opaque   reality   when   no   colours   would   ever   compare   to   what   he   had   been   shown   in   his   youth   ;   with   hands   holding   his,   along   the   sound   of   laughter   and   skateboarding   wheels?

There   was   a   way,   he   found,   later   as   he   allowed   someone   to   get   closer   ━━━━   a   stranger   ;   impostor   ━━━━   a   vibrant   replacement.

                                               ━━━━━━━━

                                       ❛                  De   colores               ❜                                              ❛                  De   colores               ❜

                                               ━━━━━━━━

He   took   a   colourless   life   and   made   it   red   ━━━━   red   like   an   Empress’s   dress,   red   like   the   blood   he   sometimes   forgot   he   had.   Every   page   of   his   story,   every   step   that   he   took   he   coloured   in   scarlet...ah   yes,   yes,   yes,   yes   ━━━━   there   was   no   better   hue,   no   better   target.   La   vie   en   rouge,   no   loss,   no   pain   ;   a   beautiful   ruse.

                                               ━━━━━━━━

          ❛                  Y   por   eso   los   grandes   amores   de   muchos   colores,                  ❜      

                                               ━━━━━━━━

In   the   shower,   as   he   washed   his   body   of   the   beautiful   red,   the   water   diluted   such   powerful   colour   to   pink   ━━   a   sweet   and   rosy   shade   he   had   started   to   forget   even   in   dreams.   It   brought   him   pain,   pain   and   longing   he   couldn’t   understand.

It   was   the   same   feeling   he   felt   as   he   started   at   the   gorgeous   bruises   littering   his   body,   fading   from   mulled-wine   red   to   green   ━━   green   like   the   forests,   green   like   the   warmth   he   vaguely   remembers   around   him.   And   this   longing   prompts   him,   prompts   him   to   return   ━━   to   go   back   to   cherry-blossom   pinks   and   deep   forest-greens,   to   show   Kaoru   and   Kojiro   the   vibrancy   of   red,   as   opposed   to   the   dull   royal   blue   he   used   to   be.

                                               ━━━━━━━━

                               ❛                  Me   gustan   a   mí...                  ❜

#☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . shindo ainosuke . study #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . shindo ainosuke . connection #☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . save . #☼ . 𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 . shindo ainosuke . ft. kojiro #☼ . 𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 . shindo ainosuke . ft. kaoru #( i am posting this so you can reblog it if you'd like ) #( i just felt like i had to reciprocate <333 )

[solaeria-arch]

───       @solaeria​​​​

when  ainosuke  leaves,  kaoru  can’t  see  anything  except  blue.

─────────

ugliness  stares  back  at  kojiro  in  the  mirror.  he’ll  never  have  ainosuke’s  sculpted,  handsome  beauty,  or  kaoru’s  sharp,  elegant  allure.  kojiro  only  has  flaws.  a  hand  runs  over  his  bare  torso,  &&  sears  from  the  hideousness  brushing  against  his  palm.  it’s  okay,  it’s  okay.  there’s  still  a  chance.  he  can  change.  get  better.  be  someone  who  will  win  their  love  back.

─────────

kojiro  reaches  for  kaoru’s  hand.  kaoru  moves  it  away  before  fingers  brush.  kojiro  touches  kaoru’s  arm.  kaoru  shrugs  it  off.  kojiro  rests  his  head  on  kaoru’s  shoulder.  kaoru  tenses.  kojiro  embraces  kaoru  from  behind.  kaoru  escapes  the  caging  arms.

kojiro  steps  back.  stands  further  away.  shoves  his  hands  into  his  pockets.  smiles.

─────────

❝  i  love  you,  ❞  says  kojiro.

❝  thanks,  ❞  says  kaoru.

─────────

they  don’t  look  at  each  other  anymore.  kojiro  sees  more  of  the  pale  blue  bedsheets  than  kaoru’s  face.

but  tonight,  kaoru  gasps,  ❝  don’t  go,  don’t  go,  please–  ❞

hope  flickers  inside  kojiro,  ending  winter,  spark  catching  flame.  ❝  kao-  ❞

❝  —–stay,  ainosuke.  ❞

maybe  kojiro  hears  wrong.  it  doesn’t  seem  like  kaoru  even  hears  himself,  since  he  keeps  going.  the  safeword  tries  clawing  its  way  out  of  kojiro’s  throat,  but  he  swallows  it  down  along  with  the  sob,  buries  his  face  into  the  crook  of  his  arm,  &&  tries  to  steady  his  breathing.  kaoru  needs  this.  kaoru  who’s  always  thinking  about  ainosuke,  missing  ainosuke,  grieving  about  ainosuke,  hurting  over  ainosuke  needs  this.  &&  if  kojiro  can  soften  heartbreak,  he’ll  be  whoever  kaoru  needs  him  to  be.

─────────

when  adam  appears  for  the  first  time,  joe  watches  cherry  from  his  peripheral.  the  light  returns  to  kaoru’s  eyes.  something  kojiro  couldn’t  do  for  years,  ainosuke  does  in  a  matter  of  seconds.  kojiro  smiles  to  himself.  he’ll  challenge  adam.  he’ll  win  this  tournament.  he’ll  demand  adam  to  stop  trying  to  murder  people,  to  end  this  self-destruction,  &&  go  back  home  to  kaoru.

─────────

shattered  fragments  of  an  empty  bottle.  dying  grass.  rust  gathering  on  a  broken  bicycle.  chipping  paint  on  walls  of  an  abandoned  house.  strand  of  hair  on  a  bed  he  can’t  stay  in.

who  needs  green  ??

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . save . #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . shindo ainosuke . study #☼ . 𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 . shindo ainosuke . ft. kaoru #☼ . 𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 . shindo ainosuke . ft. kojiro #THE FACT THAT YOU WROTE ME THIS UNPROVOKED ! ! ! #U N P R O V O K E D ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! #I HAVE NOT STOPPED CRYING SINCE I READ THIS AND I`M IN LOVE #THE WRITING ??????? MAGNIFICENT ! ! ! ! ! STUNNING ! ! ! ! #I AM SO SHOOK THANK YOU SO MUCH <3333

[solaeria-arch]

                  .     ❛    🔥 + ‘insecurity’ .   ━━━━  @insiidious​​​  .  

I'm going to reply this in order of most to least insecure muse, so here will be the ones who have the most insecurities out of the ones you requested.

Let's start with Momoi, since she takes number one when it comes to insecurities. Despite not looking like it, Momoi is very, very, very insecure about every aspect of her life ━━━━━━ from friendship, to her self-worth, to her abilities,  this girl lacks the ability to see just how incredible she is   ;  Momoi craves perfection, and this necessity also applies to her sexual life. She is insecure about her body ━━━━━━━━━ which is not uncommon in women, furthered by the fact that Momoi lives in Japan, and tries very hard to fit that beauty standard, from the size of her bust to her weight, and even more outrageous things that many women worry about such as the colour of their genitalia or the sounds they make in bed, those are all things Momoi struggles with when it comes to intimacy. As a woman, Momoi has to deal with misogyny, sexualisation, infantilisation and so many other terribly taxing and toxic things, all those insecurities derived from those, amount to her biggest one, which is the fear of not being perfect  ;  of not being wanted.

Next on this list is definitely Makoto ━━━━━━━━ he grew up very, very sheltered and just scared  ;  scared of anything that was new, made worst by the responsibility of being an example to his siblings. Makoto is insecure sexually because he just doesn't know how to deal with such situations, the Tachibanas don't strike me as being a very open family when it comes to sexual education, and Makoto not being straight also probably did not feel comfortable asking his parents about things ━━━━━━━━ which lead to research that made him nervous and scared, and had all sorts of questions rushing through his head  ;  similarly to Momoi, Makoto struggles with the expectations people have of him, such a big and broad man to be so submissive and bisexual? Not acceptable, at least not in Iwatobi. He struggles with the image he is "supposed" to have, and who he is and that makes him very insecure once he starts having sex because what if his partners think the same way?

Midorima is number three when it comes to insecurities related to sex ━━━━━━━━━━ he is a nervous wreck, and the stars have to be aligned for him to even consider sleeping with someone, but all jokes aside, once he is in the mood he is quite assertive  ;  Midorima unlike the previously mentioned muses, has total confidence on himself, he is not insecure about his body or personality, his insecurities come from his OCD. The obsession with astrology and lucky items is always on his mind, they bring balance into his life and even when he is intimate with someone he'll consider such things because if not, he'll feel unsafe ━━━━━ the situation will feel even more out of his control, and he cannot have that for the sake of his sanity. Shintarou doesn't like not having control of thing, it is why he carries his lucky item, why he checks Oha-asa, why he tries his best to stave off the universe and its trickery ━━━━━━━━━━ this carries through with him to his sexual life, this uncertainty is what he calls "insecurity" and what he sometimes struggles with.

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . replied . #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . momoi satsuki . headcanon #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . midorima shintarou . headcanon #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . tachibana makoto . headcanon #☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . save . #insiidious #tw nsfw #nsfw tw #( up next nanami mukkun ainosuke )

[solaeria-arch]

                    .     ❛    🔥 + touch (neji) .   ━━━━  @yuruse​​​  .  

Because of the intensity of the training they receive as young children, by the time most Hyuugas reach the age of consent, they are incredibly desensitized to touch ━━━━━━ they barely feel anything, some can even withstand touching fire for a few minutes before feeling any pain  ;  that is because the juuken is very severe and nerve-damaging, this damage however is not irreversible ━━━━━━ it takes time, and often chakra therapy, but slowly Neji is able to recover the sensation to his body. When intimate with his partner, he is most affected by gentle touches  ;  feathery-light, those are the touches that have him shivering, had have him unraveling onto the sheets. It is why he hardly allows himself to be touched by anyone other than close family, and his partner   ;  the only ones allowed to gently hold his face, stroke his cheek are his cousins, mother and his partner ━━━━━━━━━ because it is these gentle and soft touches that make him most vulnerable, obviously with the difference in implication and motif behind them, whereas his cousins and mother these touches are completely platonic, for a partner they would be romantic and possibly a mild form of foreplay.

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . replied . #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . hyuuga neji . headcanon #☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . save . #( which means if you want neji to be a bumbling stuttering mess in bed..... #touch him softly ! ! ! ! ! and he is g o n e ) #nsfw tw #tw nsfw #this isn't really nsfw but like

[solaeria-arch]

It’s Sinday! Send dirty anons for my muses to answer to!

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . memes .

[solaeria-arch]

Send me  🔥 + a word and I will write a NSFW headcanon for my muse.

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . memes .

[solaeria-arch]

go on anon (or not) and tell me your favorite detail about my muse!

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . memes .

[solaeria-arch]

mukkun doodles for practice uwu 

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . ooc . #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . murasakibara atsushi . visage #☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . save . #( yes this is what i spent my time doing today.... ) #( and i still can't draw hair but shhhhh )

[solaeria-arch]

            .     ❛    starter for   ━━━━  @victoriious​

𝚃𝙷𝙴   𝙼𝚄𝚂𝙸𝙲   𝙴𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙴𝙳   𝙰𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳   𝙷𝙸𝙼   ━━━━   loud   enough   to   be   aggravating,   not   that   it   took   much   to   aggravate   the   green   haired   man.   This   was   not   the   usual   scenario   one   would   find   Midorima   Shintarou   in      ;      he   simply   did   not   do   parties,   and   yet,   upon   starting   university,   his   counselor   had   recommended   that   Midorima   tried   to   get   out   more,   to   expose   himself   to   more   people   and   more   social   interactions   ━━━━   and   since   his   seniors   were   the   ones   funding   the   particular   event,   Shintarou   found   himself   showing   up         ;      albeit   fashionably   late,   and   holding   his   lucky   item   tightly.      Dressed   in   black   tailored   pants,   black   turtleneck   shirt   topped   with   a   soft-looking   cardigan,   Midorima   looked   slightly   out   of   place   ━━━━━━   the   only   thing   indicating   he   somewhat   belong   was   the   drink   in   his   hand   that   he   occasionaly   sipped.

Emerald   eyes   framed   by   full   lashes   scanned   the   croweded   room,   nose   scrunching   up   in   slight   disgust   at   how   the   people   were   grinding   and   sweating   all   over   each   other   ━━━━━━   Midorima   was   as   young   as   them   and   yet   he   couldn't   see   the   appeal,   perhaps   he   valued   his   personal   space   far   too   much   to   go   to   the   dance   floor.   Leaning   against   the   bar   he   sighed,   deciding   he   would   stay   a   few   more   minutes   and   then   excuse   himself,   he   had   to   prepare   his   things   to   move   into   his   apartment   anyway      ;      brain   already   stressing   over   the   fact   that   he   did   not   yet   know   his   roommates.

Sweeping   the   place   once   more   with   his   eyes,   Midorima   froze   ━━━━━━   no...no   it   couldn't   be,   he   had   to   be   imagining   it.   There   was   no   way   Murasakibara   Atsushi   would   be   in   the   same   party   as   him,   which   meant   they   also   attended   the   same   university.   Shintarou   wanted   to   convince   himself   that   he   was   just   seeing   things,   that   he   was   mistaking   someone   else   for   the   purple   haired   giant,   but   there   weren't   a   lot   of   people   who   were   as   tall   as   Atsushi.   It   had   to   be   him,   and   Midorima   wasn't   ready   to   see   the   other   male,   so   hastly   he   abandons   his   drink,   turning   around   to   avoid   being   seen   and   making   a   mad   dash   to   the   door   ━━━━━━━━━   now   as   good   time   as   any   to   leave.

The   gods   might   have   been   against   him   that   night,   for   as   he   tried   to   make   his   way   through   the   crowd,   Midorima   ran   into   a   person   and   as   he   looked   down   to   apologise   for   being   so   distracted   he   felt   the   air   abandon   his   lungs      ;      in   front   of   him   was   Akashi   Seijuurou,   another   man   he   did   not   wish   to   see.      ❛         Akashi...?         ❜      he   whispered,   voice   almost   being   drowned   out   by   the   music.   ❛         What   are   you   doing   here?         ❜   Midorima   did   not   want   to   talk   to   the   Emperor,   and   yet   he   couldn't   stop   himself   from   asking,   not   when   they   hadn't   spoken   since   Teiko.

On   the   dance   floor,   amongst   bodies   and   more   bodies,   Atsushi   danced,   head   thrown   back   as   he   let   the   alcohol   and   drugs   rush   through   his   veins   ━━━━━━━━━━   fast   heartbeats   spreading   the   poison   through   his   body   faster,   euphoria   better   than   the   usual   nothingness   he   felt.   He   had   been   doing   this   since   he   left   middle   school,   since   long   before   he   was   even   old   enough   to   know   what   these   things   really   were      ;      coping   with   everything   made   easier   by   alcohol,   drugs   and   mindless   sex   with   people   who   didn't   have   a   single   care   for   his   wellbeing.   That   was   his   life,   had   been   for   years   and   it   surely   wasn't   about   to   stop   now   that   he   was   finally   at   university.

Needing   another   drink,   Atsushi   made   his   way   to   the   bar,   stumbling   a   bit   as   he   navigated   through   people         ;      only   really   standing   still   because   of   his   extremely   sharp   reflexes,   which   he   had   basketball   to   thank   for.      After   a   few   more   shots   of   vodka   ━━━━   or   tequila,   he   honestly   couldn't   tell      the   difference   anymore   ━━━━   Atsushi   was   about   to   go   back   to   the   dance   floor   when   he   spotted   two   very   familiar   figures      ;      was   he   hallucinating?   Could   it   be   that   Midorima   and   Akashi   were   standing   right   there?   Popping   another   upper   into   his   mouth   and   washing   it   down   with   yet   another   shot,   he   decided   to   make   his   way   to   both   males,   surely   this   was   an   opportunity   he   couldn't   miss.   Half-lidded   and   hazy   eyes   led   him   to   his   former   teammates,   stopping   a   few   inches   away   from   them.

❛         Ara,   if   it   isn't   Aka-chin   and   Mido-chin~         ❜   he   slurred,   lovely   purple   eyes   almost   completely   hidden   by   his   blown   out   pupils,   drugs   and   alcohol   making   him   look   loopy   and   insane.   ❛         It's   been   a   while,   hasn't   it...?         ❜

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . replied . #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . midorima shintarou . connection #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . murasakibara atsushi . connection #( i hope this is okay uwu uwu ) #( let me know if you want me to change anything ) #( i haven't ever done a starter with two muses so i'm excited but also #this could suck so let me know !! <3 ) #tw drugs #drugs tw #alcohol tw #tw alcohol

[solaeria-arch]

victoriious·:

───    @solaeria··

           ’  YOU’VE  GOT  YOUR  WHOLE  LIFE  AHEAD  OF  YOU,  DUDE.  we’re  not  in  high  school  anymore  where  it  doesn’t  really  matter  what  happens.  but  shit  that  goes  down  in  college  follows  you  forever.  how’re  you  going  to  get  a  job  with  this  on  your  record  ??  tachibana’s cool  &&  all, but staying  with  him  is  going  to  ruin  your  future—-–  ’

          sousuke  deletes  the  message.  &&  proceeds  to  empty  out  the  inbox.  some  names  he  recognizes.  some  he  doesn’t.  sousuke  isn’t  popular  out  of  his  own  intentions.  it’s  just  that  he’s  well  known  in  this  university,  since  he’s  the  TA  everybody  wants  to  learn  from.  sousuke  never  gives  up  on  students,  he’ll  make  time  for  them  outside  of  class  to  help  with  assignments,  &&  professors  approach  him  to  work  with  them.

          so,  he  assumes  his  phone’s  blowing  up  with  notifications,  because  of  the  upcoming  midterm.  not  because  of  .  .  .  this.  after  pulling  three  all-nighters  in  a  row,  sousuke  blearily  wonders  if  he’s  dreaming  while  scrolling  through  his  phone.  people  have  known  sousuke’s  gay,  &&  that  he  has  a  boyfriend,  but  it’s  a  relatively  accepting  campus.  but  he  soon  realizes  the  remarks  aren’t  in  the  realm  of  homophobia,  but  something  else.  as  sousuke  sits  up  &&  digs  online,  his  breath  catches  in  his  throat.

          ——–it’s  the  photos  &&  videos  sousuke  had  seen  a  glimpse  of  before.  sousuke  forced  the  people  who  showed  that  content  to  delete  every  file.  but  sousuke  soon  realizes  there’s  even  more  content  out  there.  everything  spirals  out  of  control  too  swiftly.  university  turns  into  a  witch  hunt,  a  crucible.

          sousuke  rings  the  doorbell  to  makoto’s  place.  they  haven’t  seen  each  other  in  a  few  days.  sousuke  understands  if  makoto  needs  space,  but  his  concern  gets  the  best  of  him.  ❝  babe,  it’s  me.  ❞  sousuke  talks  to  the  door.  ❝  i  just  want  to  see  how  you’re  doing.  make  sure  you’ve  got  something  to  eat.  ❞  after  a  pause,  he  says,  ❝  i  miss  you.  ❞

𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙾𝚃𝙾   𝙷𝙰𝙳   𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝙽   𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶   𝚆𝙰𝚂   𝚆𝚁𝙾𝙽𝙶   ━━━   the   moment   the   mocking   laughter   and   voice   reached   him   with   a   (      ❛         Hey,   Tachibana!   How   much   for   the   hour?!         ❜      ),   immediately   his   mind   tingled,   though   he   didn't   let   that   bother   him   through   that   day      ;      he   had   exams   to   take   and   things   to   do.   Makoto   spent   the   whole   day   ignoring   the   looks,   whispers   and   jokes   ━━━━━━   with   each   comment   his   stomach   twisted   into   knots,   lips   so   soft   growing   more   bitten   and   bruised   as   the   morning   turned   into   afternoon.   It   wasn't   until   much   later,   when   Makoto   was   in   the   safety   of   his   apartment   that   he   figured   out   what   had   happened      ━━━━━━━━━   the   text   message   that   sent   him   into   the   worst   panic   attack   he   had   ever   had   in   his   whole   entire   life      ;      (      [txt]:   this   is   what   happens   when   you   disrespect   daddy,   kitten.      ).

That   had   been   two   months   ago,   and   Makoto's   life   had   turned   to   hell   ━━━━━━   the   attacks   on   him   were   getting   bolder,   and   yet   he   couldn't   let   Sousuke   see   him   breaking,   and   so   Makoto   had   distanced   himself   a   little   from   his   boyfriend,   creating   believable   excuses   for   not   going   to   see   him   these   last   few   days      ;      when   in   reality   all   he   had   done   was   lay   in   bed   and   agonize   ━━━━   how   could   he   have   been   so   stupid?!   How   could   he   had   upset   the   one   person   who   could   ruin   his   entire   life?!   Makoto   shut   his   eyes   tightly,   curled   up   on   the   couch   trying   to   shut   out   the   world   ━━━━━━   he   wasn't   naive   enough   to   think   Sousuke   was   unaware   of   what   was   happening,   as   a   TA,   Sousuke   was   probably   one   of   the   firsts   to   know.   And   yet,   Makoto   would   rather   pretend   nothing   was   happening   at   all,   like   he   did   all   those   years   with   Haru      ;      just   repress   everything,   shove   his   fears   down   for   Sousuke's   sake.   Makoto   was   good   at   that,   he   was   good   at   living   for   someone   else.

Alone   in   his   flat,   Makoto   could   break,   could   spend   every   single   moment   crying   and   driving   himself   sick   with   anxiety   and   worry      ;      how   would   he   fix   this?   What   could   he   even   do   against   someone   like   Hidehisa   Eijiro?   Someone   who   had   almost   everyone   eating   on   the   palm   of   his   hand,   what   could   Makoto   ever   hope   to   do?   It   would   be   best   to   just   pretend   to   be   oblivious,   to   ignore   everything   for   as   long   as   he   could      ;      after   college   he   could   move   somewhere,   take   Sousuke   with   him   and   forget   everything   about   this.   The   doorbell   startles   him,   and   the   voice   make   his   heart   soar   and   break   at   the   same   time   ━━━━━━━━━   he   was   a   terrible   boyfriend,   how   could   he   do   this   to   Sousuke?

Makoto   hadn't   wanted   to   open   the   door,   he   was   probably   a   mess,   but   not   opening   would   upset   Sousuke   even   more,   and   so   he   dashed   to   the   Kitchen   first,   hastly   put   some   popcorn   on   the   microwave      ;      he   had   to   pretend   he   wasn't   wallowing   in   his   own   misery.   And   then   went   to   the   door,   putting   on   the   Makoto   mask   ━━━━━━━━   the   soft   eyes   and   easy   smile,   a   little   breathless   from   the   dash   he   had   made,   but   it   gave   him   back   a   little   bit   of   colour   to   his   cheeks   which   worked   to   his   favour.   ❛         Sou!   I   missed   you   too!         ❜      he   exclaimed,   smiling   up   at   the   other   man      ;      Makoto   was   happy   to   see   Sousuke,   but   that   happiness   was   just   not   enough   to   extinguish   the   pain   he   felt.

❛         Come   on   in,   I   just   put   some   popcorn   on   the   microwave,   and   I   was   about   to   pick   a   movie.   Will   you   stay   and   watch   it   with   me?         ❜

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . replied . #☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . tachibana makoto . connection #victoriious #( once again i wrote too much kahsakjdhaksd i'm sorry )

[solaeria-arch]

tiny reminder to read my muses' infos because most of them are not canon compliant, and mixed.

#☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . ooc . #☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . psa . #a lot of my muses are mixed ???? so please read their bios #not bios but stats just so you know...

[solaeria-arch]

SK8 THE INFINITY.     ↳ Episode 09. We Were Special Back Then.

#☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . shindo ainosuke . visage #☼ . 𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 . shindo ainosuke . ft. kaoru #☼ . 𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 . shindo ainosuke . ft. kojiro #☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . save . #( i know we only get cherry's reaction but like..... he said 'you guys' ) #( he was talking about joe too and that kills me because...... he loved themm ) #( you can see it in his eyes that he is being 100% honest and i'm just wow ) #( he was in love with both of themmm )

[solaeria-arch]

只是两个大头，但私心还是想打… || 树里juri [Lofter] ※Permission to upload this was given by the artist (©). **Please, favorite/like/follow on Lofter to support the artist** [Please do NOT repost without permission, non-commercial use, do NOT claim it as your own, edit or remove credits]

#☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . shindo ainosuke . visage #☼ . 𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 . shindo ainosuke . ft. kaoru #☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . save .

[solaeria-arch]

victoriious·:

              WHEN  SOUSUKE  REALIZES  that  he  likes  makoto,  anger  flares.  no,  this  isn’t  a  case  of  internalized  homophobia.  sousuke  didn’t  come  out  of  the  closet.  he  burned  the  whole  thing  down  during  middle  school,  &&  hasn’t  looked  back  since.  the  swimmer’s  anger  comes  from  a  place  of  restless  self-loathing.  someone  like  him  doesn’t  have  a  chance  with  makoto.  it’s  simple  :  sousuke  is  fucked  up,  &&  makoto  isn’t  fucked  up.  not  like  he’s  putting  the  guy  on  a  pedestal,  but  sousuke  knows  how  to  be  real  with  himself.  sousuke  feels  lucky  as  it  is  that  makoto  even  wants  to  be  his  friend.  ❝  you  look  good,  ❞  sousuke  remarks  while  taking  in  the  sight  of  makoto’s  outfit,  then  swears  inside  his  head.  so  much  for  keeping  his  feelings  discreet.

             teal  eyes  blink  once  in  curiosity,  then  twice  in  bewilderment.  ❝  you  &&  nanase  aren’t  .  .  .  ??  ❞  his  voice  trails  off  in  growing  confusion.  sousuke  shakes  his  head.  ❝  no,  rin  didn’t  say  that-  .  .  .  ❞  &&  now  his  voice  is  trailing  off  for  a  different  reason.  makoto’s  soft,  warm  smile  is  so  goddamned  distracting.  sousuke  covers  his  burning  face  with  a  hand,  takes  a  deep  breath,  then  lets  his  arm  fall.  ❝  well—-–  since  we’re  on  the  topic-  ❞  sousuke  clears  his  throat.  ❝  you  seeing  anyone  ??  ❞

𝚂𝙾𝚄𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙴'𝚂   𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙸𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃   𝙷𝙰𝙳   𝙼𝙰𝙳𝙴   Makoto   blush,   cheeks   taking   in   a   red   shade   comparable   to   cherries,   and   he   had   quickly   stuttered   a   thank   you      ;      shyly   telling   Sousuke   that   he   too   looked   very   good.   He   was   still   reeling   over   the   fact   that   Sousuke   thought   Haru   and   him   were   dating   ━━━━━━━━   obviously,   Makoto   knew   the   taller   swimmer   wasn't   the   first   person   to   assume   that,   people   who   essentially   did   not   know   them   often   made   the   assumption   and   Makoto   could   see   why      ━━━━━━━━   however,   Sousuke   was   dating   Rin      ;      and   Rin   certainly   knew   better.   ❛         No,   no   we   aren't.      ❜      Makoto   giggled,   covering   his   mouth   with   his   hand,   shoulders   shaking   at   how   absurd   the   idea   sounded.   

Soft   brown   hair   fluttered   as   Makoto   once   again   tilted   his   head,   this   time   in   confusion   ━━━━━━   Sousuke   seemed   flustered,   but   why?   The   other's   question   had   a   little   'eep'   escaping   Makoto's   mouth,   always   too   shy   to   share   such   aspects   of   his   life   even   to   Haru      ;      who   was   for   all   intents   and   purposes   his   platonic   soulmate.   ❛         A-ah,   no,   I'm   not   seeing   anyone...      ❜      he   stuttered,   face   once   again   heating   up.   ❛         But   how   are   you   and   Rin?!   You   guys   have   been   together   for   so   long   now!      ❜      Makoto   quickly   asked,   changing   the   subject   away   from   himself   even   if   hearing   about   the   boy   he   liked   and   his   boyfriend   would   be   rather   painful.   

#☼ . 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞 . tachibana makoto . connection #☼ . 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐞 . replied . #victoriious