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sopejinsunflower · 7 months

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Asdbshdhshd idk i’ll write the second part. I need to study more on space exploration! 🤣💜

a/n: Ironically, I got this idea while listening to Fukaimori by Do As Infinity. Please read the translated lyrics if you’re interested. Also, I started this as a drabble actually. I don’t know why I always write angst :’)

Summary: Kim Seokjin wants to chase his dream of exploring space. It’s all he ever wanted. And you only ever wanted him but you will not stand in between him and his passion. But there is a secret that you kept, too afraid it might hold him back.

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x you

Tags: Sci-Fi AU! Astronaut Jin! Childhood lovers AU! angst, drama, heartbreak, read only if you want to feel sad. Bittersweet ending.

Word count: 7k

“It’s so wide it’s kind of scary, isn’t it?”

“I think it’s beautiful.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and one day I’m going to be among those pretty lights.”

“You are a pretty light.”

– – –

Jin’s eyes blink open and it takes him a while to find his bearings, remaining on his bed a little longer, staring up at the ceiling. He can hear his work partner moving around in the next room before he hears the man exit. He should, too, even if he rather pulls the blanket over his head and just disappears.

Getting out of bed, he gets ready to start the day. The first place he visits is the kitchen to get some caffeine into his system. He remembers dreaming but can’t remember what the dream was, only that it left a foul taste in his mouth and an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Morning,” Hoseok greets, standing in the middle of the kitchen area with a mug in both hands. He doesn’t look like he had a good sleep either.

“Morning,” Jin replies, taking out his mug and pouring himself a good helping of steaming coffee. He stands there, blowing the coffee to have it cool down a little before taking a tentative sip. He looks up at Hoseok, who is buried in some research papers. “Is that a new one?”

The second-in-command nods, not looking up. “Yep. They have a new location for us to check out. I’m just checking to see how much bullshit is in this one.” He rolls his eyes but focuses back on reading, eyebrows knitting together, mouth downturned.

Jin chuckles. “Well, have fun and update me later if there’s anything worth noting.”

He leaves Hoseok and heads towards the front of the Freljord, the huge long windows that line the walls showing him the dark and vast universe outside. A big fat nothing, you used to tell him when he would send pictures earlier in the first year of his voyage. He used to argue with you about it, trying to educate and explain to you that it’s not nothing but a whole new possibility of finding a new planet to call home. That is Freljord's mission, started seven years ago when everyone on board had been excited and full of hope.

Now, not so much, Jin thinks as he enters the main control room, or the cockpit. He finds Namjoon there, looking at a chart hovering inches from his face, the soft glow casting his face blue. “Anything of note?” he asks as he steps up to his chair in the middle and starts up his console.

Namjoon shakes his head. “Nope. Nothing much. Just,” he looks up towards the big glass window ahead, “forward, I guess.”

“Hoseok got some new materials,” Jin says as he busies himself with the blue screen that illuminates holographically in front of him, moving his hands deftly across it in front of his face. “Maybe he’ll have some new coordinates for us.”

Namjoon hums a response before putting away the chart with a flick of his wrist. The two men sit in silence, both tending to their own tasks before Namjoon sighs. Jin glances at his Chief Navigator. “Problem?”

“No,” replies Namjoon with a shake of his head. “Just…”

Jin fully turns around. “What is it?”

“Sometimes it just gets to you, you know,” Namjoon says heavily, rubbing the point in between in his eyes. “It just feels…pointless.”

Jin doesn’t reply but turns his chair back around, looking at the hologram in front of him but not really seeing anything. He understands exactly what Namjoon is saying because he feels it, too, more so recently. It’s just one of those days where he wakes up with the thought of you at the forefront of his mind, unable to push you to where you should be, at the back of his mind, buried with time. His shipmate is right; it does feel pointless. Seven years in space with nothing yet command centre still insists on going further out.

And every year, Jin only grows bitter and bitter. The project was only supposed to be a five-year plan but in the fifth year, a research paper came out about the possibility of finding a habitable planet in Andromeda and they were ordered to head that way. The excuse was that Freljord is advanced enough to make the trip, the first craft to reach the edge of our galaxy in half a decade! So it must be able to travel towards Andromeda, right? With a few stops along the way, because why not, right?

Jin is starting to think that the command centre forgot that there are real life humans in this spaceship, that this isn’t their own science fiction novel that they can write however they pleased. But Jin doesn’t have the power to turn them down. If they turn back around, they’ll be welcomed back as traitors. He had been subtly warned as such.

According to the calculation, they should break into Andromeda’s galaxy in a few more years, five the maximum, three if they’re lucky that nothing gets in their way. But judging from the asteroid shower six months ago that deviated them from their straight path by a year, three years seems unlikely.The idea that they all might just die in space is growing more and more solid in Jin’s mind, the Freljord forever floating, lost in space.

It’s Jin’s turn to sigh, heavy and long. He goes back to his console, typing and clicking on certain things to make sure the ship is running smoothly. Hoseok comes in a few minutes later, a bagel in between his teeth. He removes it before speaking to Jin. “So basically, they want us to head on to this new coordinate.” He points to a long string of numbers on the paper.

“And you don’t look too happy about it,” Jin notes, looking at his face.

Namjoon comes over to peer at the coordinates and his face scrunches up. “Are they fucking with us?”

Jin lets out a humourless laugh. “They’ve been at it for a couple of years now I thought you’d notice.”

“This is way out of our way,” Namjoon points out, annoyed. “This would set us back from the main mission, like, two years the least!”

Namjoon throws himself back into his seat, face buried in his hands. Hoseok gives him a sympathetic look but turns back to Jin. “It’s not set yet. This is just their proposal. But from the sound of those papers, it might already have been decided.”

Jin rubs his temple with two fingers. “And what’s over there?”

Hoseok bites the inside of his cheek before answering, “Water.”

Jin regards him through a frown. “What the fuck.”

The other man shrugs. “Seems like another craft researching asteroids found traces of it.”

“The same ones we passed by six months ago?”

“Seems like it,” the second-in-command answers. “And according to their calculation, this would be the general direction where they came from.”

Jin shakes his head. “That doesn’t make sense. They want us to head straight to an asteroid belt for all we know. Can you reconfirm?”

“Already did. Might take a while until we hear back, though.”

Hoseok watches his captain contemplate, his forehead creasing over. Jin throws his gaze back outside to the abyss in front of him. Honestly, he’s not thinking of anything much. His mind is blank. To him, two years or five years don’t make much of a difference now. Any motivation that he had at the start of this mission to go home and resume the life he left behind is long gone. There’s nothing left for him back on Earth, therefore, nothing left for him to lose. To go or not to go no longer bothers him. But he still has other people to think about, crew members of seventy to weigh in on that decision. They are his main concern.

Hoseok recognises that blank expression well. “I’ll call for a meeting with all the heads during lunchtime.”

The captain merely nods.

***

The seven chief officers sit around the table.

Jin sits in the middle and Hoseok and Namjoon on either side of him. The Communication Officer, Min Yoongi, is to Hoseok’s left and the Chief Science Officer, Park Jimin, is to Namjoon’s right. Kim Taehyung, the Chief Engineer and the Chief of Security, Jeon Jungkook, brings up the total of the leaders on board. Each man is responsible for at least ten other crews under them but the whole weight of the ship falls on Jin’s broad shoulders.

Hoseok finishes the debriefing, keeping it short and simple. He now poses the main question. “We need to know if all of us are in favour of going off route to check out this supposedly new source of water or if we should just remain our course for Andromeda.”

“I say we stay on course,” Jungkook offers first. “We’re already in the second year of a five-year plan for Andromeda. I rather we don’t lose any more years on something so vague.”

Kim Taehyung nods. “I agree.”

“But what if we do find it?” Jimin implores, looking around the table. “The possibility of being the first to find water in space! Imagine that! I say we go check it out.”

“If we do, we’ll be set back by two years at the least,” Namjoon adds. “Would that still be okay?”

Jimin nods. “So what? We’ve already been here seven years. What’s a couple more?”

“Easy for you to say,” Taehyung argues. “Some of us have people waiting for us back home. I promise my fiance at least five more years. Five more years and I’ll be home and I can marry her.”

Jimin pulls a face. “I told you to break it off before we go onto the ship. You’re just stringing her along at this rate.”

“Fuck off,” Taehyung growls. “A playboy like you wouldn’t get it.”

Jimin opens his mouth to retort but Jin slams his fist on the table. “Enough. I’m giving three days for each of you to explain this to your crew and come back with a unionised decision. Majority wins.”

“Come on, captain,” Taehyung pleads. “Let’s not. Let’s tell Command we don’t have enough resources to prolong this voyage. The craft behind us can do it.”

Yoongi nods, agreeing. “It’s their area of study anyway.”

“Their craft isn’t built like ours,” Hoseok interjects. “They wouldn’t make the trip nor would they even make it further out of the Kuiper Belt.”

“Which is why this is coming to us,” Yoongi concludes to himself, silently understanding. Freljord is one of a kind, a miracle created that couldn’t be replicated as close as to the original. It’s high-tech, advanced and self-sustaining in terms of fuel. Shaped like a sperm, the front part is a spherical globe with a bridge connecting a smaller-sized one that makes the tail where the engineering team is.

“Truthfully,” Namjoon pipes up. “I’m with Taehyung on this one. I want to go home, Captain. Don’t you?”

Jin is caught off guard that the navigator would target him, staring at Namjoon like a deer in headlights. Somewhere in the distance, he can hear Taehyung saying something about Jin having left a girlfriend back home, too, so naturally, he should be on their side. But Jin’s mouth is dry. They knew he had someone before they started this mission, he had talked about you, had even had a few grainy video calls with you with them present, had always run back to his room to check for mails from you every night without fail.

Suddenly, Jin is brought back in time.

– – –

“When are you leaving?”

You looked at him through wide, teary eyes, standing at the kitchen island of the apartment you shared with him. He stood on the other side, arms hanging limply on both his sides. He had anticipated that you’d be upset but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He had excitedly come home to show you the letter of acceptance for the Andromeda mission, unable to hide the wide smile on his face. You had read the letter but your face had crumpled. By the end of it, your eyes stung by how much tears are pooling in them.

“It’s a good opportunity,” he had said, trying to convince you. “It’s once in a lifetime and there’s only one spaceship that can do this. It seems I’m the only one compatible to steer it and they need me. It’ll be good for-”

“Is that all you care about?” you wailed. “That they need you? What about me, Jin? What about us?” You waved the letter in his face. “It says here it’ll take ten years. You’re going to be gone for ten years!”

“I know, I know,” Jin tried to placate, putting his arms around your waist. You pulled away moving towards the kitchen, the letter still scrunched up in your fist. He followed you. “Baby, it’s ten years maximum. It could be less. This new spaceship is something no one has ever seen before. It’s much faster, much more-”

“I don’t care, Jin! I don’t fucking care how fucking awesome the ship is! I don’t want you to go!”

You were fully crying by then, leaning against the island top as you tried to get your breathing under control. You placed one hand against your chest, feeling the pain about to rip you apart. You know that he’s been training for this, dedicating most of his youth to the space centre in hopes that one day he’ll get to go. And now he could but you didn’t think the day would come and that it would come so soon.

“When are you leaving?” you asked through shaky lips, your voice barely coming out.

Jin scratched the back of his head. “Well, there’s still more training to do and-”

“When?” you insisted.

Jin studied your face, feeling his hands shake. Mere hours ago, when he received the letter, he had been almost bouncing in his seat, unable to focus on anything except to go home and break the news to you. But now, the excitement had dissipated, replaced with nothing but a heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach, the kind that made him think that his heart had fallen out of its place. There’s a lump in his throat and he swallows it. “Next year.”

Your face fell once again, crumpling to the floor as your body heaved with every sob. Jin rushed forward, collecting you in his arms and pulling you into his lap. He didn’t have any words to say, didn’t know what he could say to comfort you. He thought you’d understand but understanding and accepting are two very different things, he realised.

Jin knew that as much as this news had been an amazing one, something no one else has ever done before, it’s also something very agonising, now that he’s actually thinking about it. But the pros outweigh the cons, he had selfishly thought. All his life, he had wanted nothing more than to be able to go into space on one of his own missions. He had dreamt of this since he was a little kid, since they were little kids. All those nights of camping in the backyard of your house in the small tent your dad pitched up counting stars, you both had talked about it. Or at least he did.

And you had been supportive of his dreams. You had been the one person in his corner to push him to go into astronautics after high school, the one person who helped him study for exams when he thought that he couldn’t do it because it had been too damn hard. You were the person that packed his lunch on days when he had been too tired to even remember to eat, painstakingly shaping the sausages and eggs and sandwiches into little stars and moons and a rocketman. You had cheered the loudest when he got accepted into the Aerospace Research Institute, taking him out to dinner at one of the most luxurious steakhouses in town. It had cost you three of your part-time paychecks to pay but it had been worth it.

A week after his first paycheck, Jin finally had the balls to ask you to officially be his girlfriend but it had almost seemed that that had been the case for most of your university lives, you two joined at the hips even when you were studying at different universities, that it felt natural to just say yes. He bought you a promise ring three months later and you both had planned out the rest of your lives together. Not once did it occur to both of you that it might not come. Not once did either of you ever doubt a future together, the names of your kids picked out and carefully written in a journal you both shared.

Not until that night of the acceptance letter. It felt like the whole world upended for you, ripped out from beneath your feet. Is this what it felt like for Jin to be in that zero-G simulator day in and day out? Because to you, it feels like nothing is reliable anymore; up is down, left is right, right is wrong. It made you feel like throwing up, your head spinning from the sudden unknown of what’s to come. You didn’t like it and you hated that Jin went to work living off of this feeling. He loves it so much he’s willing to leave you behind for more and that's what hurts the most, unfair as it was.

If truth be told, you never expected for Jin to go into space, not that he was incapable but that it had been difficult to be picked. And it’s not everyday that they were sending people into orbit. When Jin told you about the Andromeda Project, you had secretly doubted it. No other country had ever had the technology to make such a craft that can easily travel into interstellar, never mind one big enough to carry close to a hundred crew. But the Andromeda Project had been going on far longer before Jin joined and by the time he had enough experience and knowledge and whatever else requirements needed, it was time to start choosing and training the right people.

Even then, you had your doubts. According to your brother, Hoseok, the competition was tough and they usually go for those with no young family left behind. Jin might not have a family but he wouldn’t abandon you, right? Only you were wrong. So arrogant you were to think that you could compete with his childhood dream, so you relented.

“Okay,” you said, one night as you were getting ready for bed and Jin was propped against the headboard, reading an article on his iPad. He looked up, confused. “Okay,” you said again. “I’ll support you.”

It takes a moment for Jin’s brain to finally click, throwing down the iPad and crawling over towards your side of the bed. He hugged you from behind, pressing lingering kisses on your shoulder. “I promise it’ll go by faster before you know it.”

You didn’t believe him. Who would? Space exploration is the one thing that no one can really tell on, especially one like the voyage he was about to embark on. It’s never been done before so what precedent can anyone refer to? Everything is a blank slate and yes, he would be making history. You’re proud of him for that but at the same time bitter that it had to be him who goes. What’s worse, Hoseok got in, too, so you’ll be left all alone, the one left waiting.

Jin could see how much you were trying to play the supportive girlfriend role. You never complained about his late nights, you never asked more than what you wanted to know, never burdened him with anything you can handle yourself. You took care of his lunch and supplements and as the months went by, you took care of everything in regards to the household, everything so that Jin didn’t have to think of anything else except his oncoming mission.

And the busier Jin got, the heavier your heart grew. When you had a falling out with one of your close friends, Jin didn’t hear about it. He didn’t have to, his mind was preoccupied enough already. When your mother called one day asking if you were still with him when he was going to leave, you had hung up on her. You cried yourself to sleep because you couldn’t distract him. He needed the rest, he needed the clarity. All that he needed, you gave it to him and with that, he never noticed that you were barely keeping your own head above water as you held him afloat.

Three months before his take off date, Jin went down on one knee. The ring he proposed with had been his mother’s, tweaked to have a new diamond installed, a diamond that resembled the north star. “So I know where I’m heading to. You are my last destination,” he had promised. You said yes, because what else could you have said? Like the rest of the issues that were building, this was one of them that he didn’t need to contend with, not when he was about to leave. The preparation had been tough and Jin was stressed out enough, hardly even home for him to notice the change in you, both mentally and physically.

The first year of the Freljord take off had been excruciating. You only received two emails forwarded through from ARI; one from him and one from Hoseok. It’s the year that they had gone into cryosleep. Jin’s email had been a long one, detailing all the little things saved up in his heart that he never had the chance to tell you while still on Earth and all the little details of his voyage so far, the latter more than the first, and that was when you knew.

But a year wasn’t long enough for you to be sure. You were a good girlfriend so you waited, giving it more time, hoping that with time, you can learn to accept reality. But the next email came almost three years later when he was finally awake again. Moving on was harder than it sounded. It wasn’t an actual break up nor a death but a sort of limbo that your fiance might or might not return. You wanted so much to let him know but it never seemed appropriate to tell something so important via email so you waited for a video call chance.

Video calls are much harder. His crewmates would sometimes pop in and out of frame to say hello, teasing him in the background. But the worst part was the fact that Jin looked happy. He would talk on and on about the ship, the crews, the vast nothingness he could see out the window, none of which you cared for. He did not, in fact, ask anything about the life he left behind. The video calls were short, too, more static than anything else, so never a good time to bring up the subject of the one thing he should know about. But letting him know could cost him the project so you couldn’t do it, didn’t have the heart to.

When you’re on a spaceship that travels on hyperspeed, time completely changes between space and Earth. In his excitement, Jin had completely forgotten about this one important fact. And that was one of his many mistakes.

– – –

Hoseok, who knows more than the others, pulls their attention away from the captain. “Jin already said majority wins. So go back to your units and let us know in three days. We’ll decide from there. Meeting adjourned.”

The others left, talking among themselves but Jin remained at his seat. Hoseok stays next to him. He doesn’t speak, letting the older man decide for himself whether he wants to share whatever that was on his mind or not. Hoseok and Seokjin have been friends since high school, too long to even count the years now. He could tell right away this morning when Jin came into the kitchen that something was wrong and had been wrong for a while now, at least for this past month.

“Is it y/n?” Hoseok broaches, growing a tad bit impatient. If it is, then Hoseok can worry less. If it’s something to do with the mission then he should know about it, too.

Jin slowly looks up. His eyes are clouded over, making it hard for Hoseok to read his best friend. What in the world is he hiding? What is it?

Without speaking, Jin takes out his mobile pad from his belt, swipes around on it and then passes it over to Hoseok, looking down at his lap. The Chief Officer silently takes the device and looks at the screen. The first thing he sees is the sender’s name: y/n l/n. The body of the message is short. A simple, ‘I’m sorry, Seokjinie.’ There’s an attachment at the bottom and he taps on it. At the sight of the image, Hoseok whips back around to Jin.

“When did you get this?”

“Last month,” Jin croaks out, still looking down. When he speaks again, his voice breaks. “The further away we are from Earth, the longer it takes for messages to arrive.” The tears flow, dripping down Jin’s face and into his lap. He has yet to raise his head.

Hoseok looks back down to the picture. He recognises it, receiving the same one in his email at the same time Jin did, he bet. He hadn’t said anything to the captain, didn't know how. But Jin also had been quiet, too quiet, he thinks but if the man wasn’t ready to talk about it, Hoseok isn’t the type to push. Now, he thinks he should’ve.

Yes, the further away they move from Earth, the harder it is for any communication to happen between Command and the ship. It just takes longer for anything to arrive. Not only that, Freljord moves at the speed of light, warping the concept of time for all its crew. If Hoseok’s calculation is correct, this email is five years late, which means-

Jin’s crying grows harder, sobbing so hard he doubles over. Hoseok can only put one hand on the man’s back, rubbing up and down but not really doing much to calm his friend. Jin had never experienced such pain, his chest aching so much he wishes he could tear his skin off if it alleviates the hurt. Jin has always been good at bottling his feelings, he’s done it his whole life. He’s not an emotional person (wouldn’t be able to be an astronaut if he was).

When you were kids and he skinned his knees from falling over his bicycle, you were the one who cried while he stood there stoically as his mother slaps on a cartoon band aid. When Hoseok would get angry at him for hogging the PlayStation, he would just drop the controller in the midst of the boss battle so Hoseok can have a turn. When you were angry at him for something he had said, he had sat there calmly listening to you ranting at him why it was the wrong thing to say, mentally noting to not say it again. When you had broken down over the news of his acceptance to the Andromeda Project, his eyes had been dry.

But right now, it feels like the whole ship could go down and he wouldn’t give a fuck if it meant he would stop feeling this ripping pain. If a window of the ship had been breached, he would run towards it and lunge himself out. If there was anything on the manual about how to numb the agony coursing through his veins, he would tear out every nook and cranny of this ship to find it. But all he has is Hoseok, silently rubbing his back.

“I’m too late, Hoseok,” he keens, the note of his voice breaking Hoseok’s heart. “I’m too late. I was so stupid. So fucking stupid. I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve stayed behind. I should’ve been with her.”

But Hoseok’s not sure if time would reverse, Jin would choose differently. He knows the man too well. Space is all he has ever talked about, he’s sure even you knew that. Hoseok also knows that if Jin had decided to not go, you would’ve changed his mind. You love him too much to not let him live his dreams and Hoseok thinks it’s only fair for Jin to do the same. But he guesses the difference was that one had seen it coming long before while the other had been too blinded by passion. Neither was wrong, though, he thinks.

As Jin continues to bawl, loud enough for Yoongi to come back to the kitchen to check on the noise but retreat back out once he sees Jin, Hoseok looks back at the picture still on the screen of Jin’s communicator pad. The cream-coloured background with the gold emboss of the wedding invite stares prettily back at him. Hoseok wonders how old his niece and nephew are now.

– – –

The house is finally quiet, the only sound being the clinking of dishes as you wash them, humming to yourself softly to a song you can’t quite remember the title of nor the actual lyrics.

Every once in a while, you catch yourself looking up into the window above the sink and only seeing your reflection, the necklace around your neck glinting everytime it catches the light. The north star diamond rests just right on your sternum, lightly thudding against your bone whenever you move.

You’re lost in your own thoughts, your hands moving automatically, the sound of the tap water running a background noise. Your husband is already in bed; he’d had a long day at work. You’re sure that when you go up to bed, he’ll stir awake before pulling you to sleep in his arms. He told you once a long time ago, six months into the relationship, that he cannot sleep without you any longer. You’re his comfort then, his comfort now fifteen years later. But you probably won’t go straight to bed when you’re done with this.

You put the last dish on the rack and wipe your hands. The letter that came in today sits on the table in the hallway, untouched. You had taken one look at the logo stamped on the front left corner of the envelope and had almost dropped it, feeling like the piece of paper had burnt you. With shaky hands, you had picked it back up and placed it where it is now, hoping that when the recipient sees it, he’ll take care of it.

But he hadn’t so now you have to make sure that he does before he sleeps. You make your way up the steps, one hand running up the bannister, not for support but mostly because if you don’t have your hand on something solid, you’d feel like you might float away. The skylight installed years ago allows the bright light of the full moon to cascade down into the house, illuminating your way perfectly fine. You look up at the sky, noticing the tiny little sparkling stars and you can’t help but feel bittersweet, a sort of melancholy you thought would have faded in time. The letter is clutched in your other hand.

Up the stair, you make towards the first door on the left. You take a deep breath, send up a silent prayer and knock.

“Yeah?”

You open the door and peer in, finding your son sitting at his desk, his laptop opened. He leans over his chair to look at you, raising his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“Can I come in?” you ask.

He nods. “Yeah, sure. ‘Sup?”

You walk in and look around the room. For a seventeen-year-old teenager, he’s pretty tidy, tidier than his twin sister, surprisingly. The many books on the shelves are arranged in order of genres; fiction, non-fiction, and school books. The fiction section consists of about fifteen books right at the bottom. Two-third of the tall shelves are full of non-fictions, mostly science related, almost all on space and astronomy. When he had expressed interest in that specific area, you had been hesitant, but you’re not one to stand in the way of the people you love. It has always been like that.

Above his bed, stuck to the ceiling, are a constellation of stars and planets, glowing green in the dim lighting. Among them is a rocket-shaped one.

That’s why when the letter came today, you knew what it was. Your heart and brain war against each other; one tells you to rip it up to miniscule pieces and throw them away, the other already knows you’ll do what’s right. Because you’ve done it before.

You sit on his bed, careful not to mess up the covers too much. The laundry basket is full and you point to it. “I told you to bring it down, didn’t I?”

Taejin pushes his chair away from the desk and swirls it around to face you. “You didn’t come here to lecture me about my laundry, omma, did you?”

You look at him, noticing that his hair is getting a little long around the ears, poking against his neck and fluffy at the top. Except for his eyes, he looks nothing like you and very much resembles his father more than anything. It’s a haunting image sometimes. There’s more of his father in him than just the look, apparently. You smile and shake your head. “No, I didn't.” You produce the letter. “I came to give you this. It arrived earlier today.”

His eyes light up before it dims again. He opens his mouth then closes it, shaking his head. “I was waiting for it but now I don’t know if I’m ready to know.”

You mull over his words, nodding to yourself. “But how long are you going to put it off? Even if you don't, time will still continue to flow, you know? It’s not going to stop just because you’re not ready.”

He looks a little confused, his head tilted to one side. You let out a soft laugh. “Look, Jinnie, if you get in, that’s great. If you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. You can choose another school, another programme.” You doubt the latter half of your words, knowing him well enough that it wouldn’t be that easy for him to give it up. “Or would you want me to look for you?”

He thinks about it before shaking his head. “No. I’ll do it.”

You hand him the letter, watching him tear it open with shaking fingers. He pulls out the piece of paper inside and unfolds it. He gives you one last look and you nod with encouragement. “It’s not the end of the world.”

He reads it, eyes going over the words with such speed before he looks up, eyes wide. Curious, you get up and stand next to him, reading the content of the letter from over his shoulder. A small part of you withered, noting that this is how it had started, too, back then. You beam at Taejin, ruffling his hair. “Congratulations, my little spaceman. You got in.”

While your daughter pursues music, your son follows his dream. As Areum debuted in a girl-group in South Korea, Taejin finishes his internship with the Aerospace Research Institute. As you cheer Areum at her first stadium concert, Taejin is wrapping up his initial training as an astronaut as one of the top trainees in line for the space mission, Andromeda II. On the day that Areum flies back from her Grammy performance show, she heads straight for ARI, breathless and still very much jetlag to say goodbye to her twin before his thirty days quarantine starts. She might not see him again, ever, but that’s something you did not mention to either of them.

Areum had to leave earlier, tear-stained face waving goodbye from the door, unable to actually leave. You watch as Taejin gives her one last, long hug, the kind of hug that clearly communicates the amount of love he has for her, the kind of hug people give when they know it might be the final goodbye. She leaves then, hiccuping and sobbing, and you wished you had left with her. But not yet, you still have one last thing for your son, a parting gift.

“I want you to have something,” you say, unclasping the necklace from around your neck and placing it in his palm, closing his fingers onto it. “I want you to hold on to this for me, okay?”

Taejin looks close to tears. “But, omma. I know how precious this necklace is to you. Are you sure? Shouldn’t you be giving this to Areum instead?”

You smile at him. “I have something else for her, don’t worry. I want you to wear it, always.”

He doesn’t ask questions but puts it around his own neck, placing it safely inside his T-shirt. “Will Jackson be okay with you giving me this?” he laughs, only jesting.

You shake your head. “It wasn’t from him.”

He looks surprised.

You let out a soft sigh. “Taejin-ah,” you say, trying to arrange your words carefully. “Do you remember that astronaut story I used to tell you when you were little? The one that went on to travel the universe, in search of his north star?”

He nods hesitantly, probably the memory of the story faded with time. “I can recall bits and pieces. Why?”

“Well, what if I tell you he had been a real person?”

Taejin stares at you. “What do you mean?”

Suddenly, the intercom in the lounge room crackles to life and a disembodied voice echoes throughout the whole arena. “Five minutes until quarantine starts. All trainees are required to check in at seventeen hundred hours.” The announcement is repeated once more and you grip Taejin’s hand, your heart breaking. How many times can it break the same way in a lifetime?

“Listen to me,” you say, speaking urgently. “You told me that your mission is to-”

“Converge with the crew of the first Andromeda mission on Planet-”

“Yes, that,” you interject, waving for him to stop. Time is running out. “There’s someone on that mission that I want you to find, someone who will recognise the necklace I gave you.”

“Someone other than Uncle Hoseok?”

You nod and smile but the tears are creeping down your cheeks. Taejin catches them with his fingers but you ignore him, ignore the tears. “When you find him, you’d know. All the questions you’ve been asking me that I couldn’t answer will be answered, I promise you.”

The announcement reverberates through the air one more time and the whole room flutters with activity as family members and friends and loved ones of those taking off next month hurry to leave or give one last hug or kiss.

Taejin looks a little lost. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. What are you-”

“Trust me, okay? Wear the necklace always and you’ll know when you find him,” you repeat, getting up and pulling away but your son wouldn’t let go of your hands.

“Omma, please,” he begs. “I need more explanation. Why tell me this now?”

You manage to free your hands from his grasp, the tears blurring your vision. You pull him in for one last hug and hold his head in place as you place a kiss on his forehead. “I love you, Taejinnie. All I did was out of love. Tell Hoseok I love him and miss him so much. We all do. Tell them all about us.”

Taejin relents, letting go of you and finally moving towards the door that will take him and the others inside the building to be quarantined pre-flight. He has his suspicions on who you meant but the name was never mentioned, or it was in the story you’ve told that he had thought fiction. But that was a story when he was a child, something that’s only a vague memory in his head. Now, he racks his brain for it.

For the next thirty days of quarantine, Taejin obsesses over remembering the name. In a bout of desperation, he manages to pull up the name list of all the crews of the Freljord, the predecessor ship of the one he will embark on. He doesn’t have to look far, the name jumping out to him on the first line, noticing the similarity immediately. Captain Kim Seokjin. To confirm it, he finds a picture of the commanding officers of that spaceship and he almost falls over his chair.

It’s like staring at a picture of himself. The father that he had been looking for all this time, the father that he had given up asking about by the time he was eight, is one of the men that he is going to meet in another galaxy. He grabs ahold of your necklace, his fist wrapping around the north star diamond.

“I’m coming,” he whispers to himself, his fingers rubbing against the diamond softly. “Please be there. I'm coming to find you.”

a/n2: I might have ended this a little too abruptly but I was running out of motivation lol lmk what you think of this one shot in the comment or ask. Like and reblog will be much appreciated :)

Check out my other works → :MASTERLIST:

#kim seokjin #kim seokjin x you #bts jin #bts one shot

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sopejinsunflower · 7 months

Text

Thank you for reading the one shots! Yeah, I wanted the first one shots to be kinda built in the same world haha im glad you enjoyed them! 💜

Crack in the Armour - KSJ One Shot

a/n: i started this off with something else in mind and then it kinda turned into another thing along the way. oh well. lmk if you find the little easter egg inside this one ;)

a/n 2: a chance the title might get changed later lol

Summary: He's a worldwide, international actor you met while grocery shopping but you don't know that so he takes that chance to introduce himself as his friend instead, roping the friend into playing along with him.

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x you, Jeon Jungkook, Jung Hoseok, Kim Namjoon

Word count: 11.1k

Tags: AU! switch identities, lies, manipulation (?), naive mc, fuckboy Jin (?), Hoseok being such a great friend, angst (maybe?)

You grew up listening to your sister relentlessly teasing you by calling you an old woman any chance she got. It started when you were in middle school as she makes disgusted faces every time she finds you buried in a book. If she couldn’t rip the book out of your hands then she’ll spend the rest of the week telling everyone how much of a nerd you are. Imagine having your own older-by-a-year sister as your biggest bully at school. You can never catch a break. The torment followed you home, made even worse that you two shared a room.

When you were in high school, she’d tell all the boys how much of a prude you are, an inexperienced virgin. It got to the point that she paid a boy in her class, a bespectacled kid that used to follow her around to try and kiss you in the school hallways. He actually tried until you upheaved your breakfast all over him. The weird thing was, everyone made fun of you instead of the guy who practically sexually harrassed you. You couldn’t even keep a diary when you sleep in the same room as someone who knows no boundaries.

So yeah, never really having a good relationship with your sister is an understatement and when you finally got accepted to a university halfway across the globe with a scholarship, you bolted out of that toxic home faster than your sister could say cherry snowflake in your face one last time. Yeah, that’s the name she used. So lame but yet smart when it comes to explaining what it meant to your parents. Of course, they bought it, too. It was obvious who was the golden child.

University came and went and you easily got your dream job as a botanical researcher in the big city. And since the day you left your hometown, you can count on one hand how many times you’ve gone back to visit. The last you heard, your sister married rich and is now the trophy wife of a successful realtor in the town. Your parents have never been prouder, not even when you gave them a virtual tour of your laboratory that first week of work. A husband was a bigger achievement, even if he was almost twenty years older.

See, after that incident with that boy in the hallway, you’ve developed a sort of indifference to the opposite gender. Call it trauma but you never looked at males the same way your other girlfriends do. Not that you were attracted to females either. Your best friend, Jung Hoseok, says you’re asexual but you refused to be labeled when you don’t even understand it yourself. And he has long stopped trying to set you up with anyone having been met with nothing but either rejection or pure disinterest from you, which in turn, put him in hot water with the people he put you up with. Sometimes he wonders if you even see him as a male but you and him have such a great friendship that it wouldn’t matter if he’s a goldfish to you.

There’s one thing he doesn’t understand about you: your hate for movies, or any content that is not written on papers. You consume tonnes of books, sometimes two thick ones in a week. It’s amazing, really, but even when your favourite books were made into motion pictures, you refused to go watch it. Not just movies, you don’t even watch drama series. Hell, you don’t even have Netflix and it always infuriates him that he can’t talk about his favourite shows or actors or actresses without you looking so clueless. He’s thankful you at least listen to music though, but the land of film cameras and TV screens might as well be a different dimension to you.

You don’t keep up with who’s who, which is why when you are idly walking through the pasta isles taking your time to go through all the pasta sauces they have, you barely notice the tall man standing next to you, weighing two jars of different sauces in his hands. When he sees you slowly getting nearer, he lowers his head down even more, waiting for you to pass.

“The one with garlic is better.”

He steals a sideway peek from under the bill of his cap but you weren’t even looking at him, too busy making your own selection. Satisfied with your choice, you walk away, leaving him to stare after you for a second. Something makes him call after you. “You mean this one?” He holds up the jar in his left hand.

You turn around, a little surprised. You look at the sauce he’s holding up over his head, looking slightly comical like he’s some sort of pasta sauce hero. “Uh, yeah. I guess. I mean, that’s what I like. I think it’s better than the other one, at least.” You shrug, ready to walk away.

“Well, which one do you actually like, if not these two?”

You pause, turning back once more and wondering if he is that helpless. You assess him, taking in the black clothing he’s in, his broad shoulders prominent even under the black leather jacket, the cap on his head pushed down low covering his eyes that he has to tilt his head up to look at you. He has a face mask that, instead of covering his plump lips and nose, is down at his chin. You wonder if he’s sick with something infectious because if he is then that is the wrong, and even pointless, way to wear a mask. You should know, you work in a lab that requires it in certain circumstances.

You go back towards him, maintaining a one-metre distance just in case, and reach out for your favourite pasta sauce and hand it to him. “This one, but if you’re allergic to nuts then, well, I guess the tomato garlic one does well.”

“Pesto?” he looks at you, arching his eyebrows.

“Well, you’re the one who asked,” you reply, annoyed.

He chuckles. “Good thing I’m not allergic to nuts.” He places the jar into his empty basket. “Thanks.”

You nod, turning your half-full cart around and leaving for real this time, not even bothered to look back. You head towards the fresh fish area, scrunching up your nose at the smell. You’re looking through the selection of salmons, the varieties of cuts, checking the prices as you go along when the silhouette of a man in your peripheral vision makes you turn. The same guy is there too, looking at some white fish. Well, it is a supermarket. You take your pick of salmon and go towards the meat area. You like to stock your fridge for a week with different types of food. It’s easier than going shopping multiple times and on a weekday night when it’s so much quieter.

You take a few packs of beef and are choosing between thighs or wings in the chicken section when he appears again.

“I’d go for wings.”

You look up at him, incredulous. “Are you following me?*

He looks offended. “It’s a supermarket? And I thought you’d appreciate my take, too.” He holds up his basket with only the jar of pasta sauce rolling around freely in there as if to make a point.

“Thanks but I didn’t ask,” you retort, putting back the wings. “And I like thighs better.”

He regards the returned wings with a pout. “Well, you’re missing out, let me tell you that.” He snatches the pack and plops it into his basket. You roll your eyes at him, walking away again.

He follows you but when you round the corner into the women’s products aisle and he’s still tailing you, you spin on your heels to jab a finger at him. “See! You are following me!”

He freezes in his steps, his head tilting to one side. He shakes his head. “No, I’m not.”

“We’re in the women’s products section!” You gesture with your arms around you. “And you’re a man.”

“Wow,” he says, a playful smile playing at the corners of his lips. “You know it’s offensive now to assume someone’s gender.”

Oh, shit.

Noticing the look of panic on your face, he smiles kindly. “But thankfully you assumed right. This time.”

You relax again but still clearly irritated. “So why you’re following me?”

He makes an innocent face. “You don’t know if I have sisters, or girlfriends, or wives,” he answers in a somewhat innocent voice, his eyes wide. He turns to face the shelf full of different types of tampons and pads, frowning hard and crossing his hands over his chest, one hand at his chin as if he’s thinking hard. He glances at me. “Any suggestions?”

You groan out loud, turning around and wheeling away, your mood for shopping gone. You make a beeline for the cashier and start putting out all your things, the cashier taking his sweet time to ring up every item, a chewing gum in his mouth. Much to your dismay, you see the man coming up to the cashier area too and lines up behind you. Frustrated, you gesture to another open cashier at the other end. “There’s another free one over there,” you say in mock kindness.

He shrugs. “I’m not in a hurry.”

You sigh, relenting.

The cashier finally finishes and you use your credit card to pay while the cashier is ringing up his one jar of pesto and chicken wings. Odd combination but you no longer care, wanting to leave immediately before he finishes. You take your bags and park the cart. You’re searching for your car keys in your bag in front of the entrance when he steps next to you.

“Seriously?”

He raises his eyebrows. “What? Are you waiting for an Uber too?”

You hold back another groan, finding your keys and fishing them out. Just then, a group of young people walk by when suddenly, just as they entered the supermarket, one of them stops, turns around and stares from the threshold. You look around, trying to find what she’s looking at when you see the man has pulled his mask back up, fixing his cap a little more firmly.

“Excuse me,” calls out one of them, stepping closer towards us. “Aren’t you Jin? You’re Kim Seokjin, right?” Her friends start to get excited, taking out their phones and talking excitedly among themselves. They sound like chirping birds, the loud noisy ones you hear in the morning.

“Who’s Kim Seokjin?” you ask no one in particular but you hear the man gives a sharp intake, staring at you from underneath his cap. You look at him, confused. “What? You know him?”

“Where’s your car?” he asks, his voice slightly urgent.

“Uh, over there?” you point in the general direction and without saying anything else, he takes your bags from you, grabs your wrist and pulls you along with him, heading in the direction of your car. In the parking lot, he stops, looking around. “Where?” He turns around and you follow his gaze to see the girls following us with their phones out. “Where?” he repeats.

The urgency makes you take the lead, unsure of what’s happening. You find the car, unlock it and get inside just as he does the same in the passenger side. “What are you doing?” you ask, alarmed.

He looks at you and, unashamedly, says, “Getting a ride from you. You can let me off a few blocks away from here.”

You’re pulling on the seatbelt, the group crossing the street towards the parking lot now. Something about their behaviour makes you panic, too, the frantic way they run, their phones out as if they’re recording something, their excited faces somewhat to the point of lunacy. They’re screaming, too, and as they are five to six of them, they sound incoherent and unhinged. You want no part of any of that. You shift into gear and pull out of the parking lot, driving away from the supermarket, the group disappearing into the distance. The man breathes a sigh of relief.

Five minutes later, you realise you’re driving towards home with a complete stranger in the car. You slow down. “Where you’re going again?” you ask, suddenly remembering that he asked to be let off a few blocks away, more aware that you’re alone with a man you know nothing of and how dangerous and foolish that sounds.

“Do you know that old record shop across that big building on that main street?”

You nod. That big building is one of the lavish apartment blocks in the area, one that you sometimes fantasised of living in someday, with the gated area and 24-hour security and a doorman that opens and closes the front door for you. But a plant scientist isn’t paid all that much these days. You’re not living from paycheck to paycheck, no, but the apartment you have now is probably the same size as one bedroom in that luxurious place. Not that you actually know for sure but guessing from the rent they advertised, you think as much. Now, the old record shop is part of the old area of town, a decrepit strip mall that’s barely surviving, a complete opposite to what lay across the street from them.

The car is silent with only the sound of the engine running. “So,” he says, breaking the silence, one hand one the grab handle above his head. “You don’t know who Kim Seokjin is?”

You glance at him sideways. “No, and take your hand off of that thing.”

He looks confused. “Why?”

“Because it makes me look like a bad driver,” you huff.

He looks at you, amused, but takes his hand off anyway, clasping his hands together in his lap. “Better?”

You don’t answer, sensing he’s making fun of you.

“Anyway, Kim Seokjin. You don’t know him?”

You shake your head. “Why? Who is he?”

You’re focused on the road so you don’t see the way his mouth hangs open at your reply, looking at you like you’re some strange animal he just found. “You really don’t know him?”

You sigh heavily. “Oh my god, you’re annoying. No, I don’t. Should I? Did he save the world? Stop wars? Make Monday a weekend?”

He laughs, a loud window-wiping laugh that reminds you of a seal a little bit. “No, he’s an actor, silly.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? That’s it? Oh?”

You stop at a red light and look at him dirtily for judging your lack of knowledge of the acting world. You shrug, trying not to care at the way he’s staring at you, the same way you would stare at a new plant specimen; part awe, part curiosity, part fascination,.

He tries again. “He’s like the biggest actor now. He’s famous, worldwide handsome!”

You snort. “Really? Did he call himself that?”

He looks flustered. “Well, the point is, everyone knows him. He plays in international movies and his new drama series became the number one hit on Netflix, too!”

“Well, not everyone, I guess,” you murmur. “And I don’t watch Netflix?”

He gasps. “What is wrong with you? Even my grandmother has a Netflix account, and she can barely see me right in front of her nose!”

“I’m starting to regret driving you,” you complain. “Are you always this annoying?”

He ponders the question seriously. “Hm, no. I don’t think so.”

“I just don’t like movies,” you say nonchalantly.

“Wh-what? Why?” he splutters, leaning against the door as if you’re some kind of infectious disease.

You shrug again. “I just don’t. They’re much better on paper. Stories, I mean.”

He’s staring at you now like you have just grown another head and three more pairs of arms. “So you don’t watch movies? At all?” You shake your head. “Series? Dramas?” Another shake of your head. “Harry Potter?”

“Read them, but never watch them.”

What the fuck, he mouths to himself. “Lord of the Rings? Friends? Squid Games?”

“Nope, nope and what the hell is a squid game?”

“Holy-” he breathes out. “What universe did you come from?”

“Me?” you say, incredulous. “I’m not the one being chased by some group of people at the damn supermarket. And why was that? Are you wanted or something?”

It’s his turn to snort unbelievingly. “Am I wanted,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes.

A thought strikes you. “Wait, are you the genie they were looking for? Kim something, what was it again?”

He stares at you, open-mouthed again. “It’s Jin. Kim. Seok. Jin.”

“Right. Same difference.”

He truly can’t believe you right now. What an alien. A pretty one, but still an alien. He has never heard of anyone not watching movies these days. It’s ridiculous. Or maybe you’re pulling his legs?

“Well?”

He looks at you, eyebrows raised. “What?”

“Are you him? The genie?”

“I can be your genie.” He clicks his tongue, making gun fingers at you.

“You’re impossible,” you say, rolling your eyes. You do that a lot, he notices. “Fine, don’t tell me who you are then.” The way you pout tells him differently, making him chuckle.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” he negotiates, resting his head on his fist as he leans his elbow on the window, looking at you.

“You know, it’s only about a ten-minute walk from here to the record shop,” you threaten, slowing the car down. He looks out the window at the people walking down the streets. Not crowded but enough to become a problem if they notice him.

“Fine,” he huffs dramatically. Then, after a while, he adds, “I’m Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. Your turn.”

You toss the name around in your head. “You don’t look like a Jungkook.”

“What do I look like then?”

“A creep,” you reply in a heartbeat. “A stranger that gets into an unknown woman’s car as you run from a cult group looking for a genie.”

He lets out another laugh. He’s about to push you for your name when his phone rings in his pocket. He fishes it out and answers it with a loud, “Yah! I told you to come pick me up!”

For some reason, you find yourself trying to hear the other person on the phone. You chastise yourself that it’s none of your business but when the voice sounded like a male you feel yourself relax. Again, you mentally kick yourself.

“Forget it, I’m almost at the record shop,” he says into his phone. “Yep, arriving now.”

The car glides to a stop. On the curbside, you see a man pocketing his phone and think that must be the friend, tall, wearing a sweatshirt with cargo pants and combat boots. He sees the car and raises a hand in greeting. You notice his right hand looks a little dirty but when he gets closer, you realise they’re tattoos, all over his fingers and knuckles. The passenger side door opens and the tattooed man leans inside. “I didn’t know hyung had any other friends. Female, too.” He nods your way. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you reply a little hesitantly. “And I’m not his friend.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Oh. Girlfriend?”

“No!” You say the same time as Jungkook next to you says “Yes!” almost enthusiastically. The tattooed man grins. Up close, with his big doe eyes and somewhat bunny teeth, he reminds you of just that, the furry little white animal. The only thing he needs are a pair of big, long ears on top of his head.

“Well, miss not hyung’s friend but not girlfriend either, I’m J-”

“Jin!” Jungkook says a little too loudly. He pats the tattooed guy outside on the shoulder. “This is Jin!”

Jin gives him a funny look, unsure how to react. Your eyebrows go up. “Oh, you mean the genie they were looking for just now? Wait, then why did they chase you?” You turn to Jungkook whose ears are turning red.

“Oh, because I’m his housemate,” he replies casually. “Anyway,” he adds, getting out of the car, one bag from the supermarket in his hand. “Thanks for the ride. You saved me.”

Jin, still looking a little confused, backs away from the car and closes the door. You smile up at him. “Well, glad I get to meet you, Mr. Worldwide Handsome,” you say teasingly. Jin smiles in return, turning to look at Jungkook, looking like he hadn’t gotten a clue as to what’s happening.

Jungkook wraps an arm around Jin. “She doesn’t watch movies, isn’t that weird?”

“So she doesn’t know who y-, I mean I am?” Jin asks, realisation dawns on him.

“Yeah, sorry.” You shift your car into gear again. “Anyway, nice meeting you. You,” you point to Jungkook, “not so much. I still need to think about it. See ya guys around, I guess.”

You drive off, them waving you away as you pull out from the side of the road to merge with traffic. In the rearview mirror, you catch a glimpse of them sort of bickering, Jungkook’s hand flying around and Jin with his palm at his forehead, shaking his head a little. You wonder what they are discussing as they disappear from view.

You live not too far away, coming into your own parking space less than fifteen minutes later. You grab your things and are ready to exit the car when you notice that one of the grocery bags is too light. You look inside and see a jar of pesto sauce and a pack of chicken wings. Great. You check the other bag only to find some vegetables and snacks, the missing bag containing most of the groceries; meats and fish and other stuff for an actual meal. You groan aloud, thinking of your empty fridge.

You start your car again and back out, grumbling and cursing all the way until the record shop comes back into view and you see both the two men still standing there. It fuels your annoyance even more when Jungkook starts waving at you in big movements, Jin grimacing next to him. You roll the window the moment you stop.

“You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Well, hello to you, too,” he says cheerfully, holding up the grocery bag with your things in it. “I believe you have my pasta sauce and chicken wings that you hate so much. And here you are, driving away with my wings.”

“I didn’t-” you let out a heavy sigh. “Just give it to me. You can have your stupid wings.”

Jungkook makes a show of transfering the bag through the window but then pulls away as you reach for it. “How about dinner first? I’m starving.”

You look at him, appalled. “What?! No! I just want to go home and cook my dinner with the stuff you have in your hand, now give it!”

“Are you sure? Dinner with the Jin right here?” He says, gesturing to the guy next to him who looks like he would rather be anywhere but here, his tattooed hand fidgeting.

“No offence, Jin,” you say, looking apologetically at the actor, “but I’m really not interested. And you look like you’d prefer better company.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Jungkook answered for him faster than Jin could say anything. “He’s very free and you’re the perfect company.”

“Are you his advocate now?” you ask sarcastically.

Jungkook nods. “Exactly. I know everything about Jin and whatever I say is what Jin feels and thinks.”

Jin glances at him but shoots you a smile that is almost as if to say I’m so sorry for my friend, please just go along for now. You check your watch. It’s half past seven right now and with all this back and forth, your energy is draining and the thought of cooking is tiring enough. You relent, rolling your eyes. “Fine. But you’re buying.”

Jungkook beams. “Of course.”

You park your car at the strip mall and walk with the guys. They surprised you by taking you to a fancy Italian restaurant, somewhere you probably won’t go if the meal would come from your pocket. You feel underdressed in your ripped jeans, plain blouse and scuffed sneakers. You feel even more inferior standing in between these two men, who invited stares and gawking eyes from the ladies and even some men. Jungkook keeps his cap very low over his eyes while Jin walks almost casually, given his so-called status as an international celebrity.

You have to admit, they don’t look like the average males; high fashion, even Jin’s combat boots look expensive, both of them walking around with the aura of Adonis, even with Jungkook’s half-covered face. You find yourself being curious about Jungkook, which surprised even yourself, because you’ve never been interested in anybody. He’s funny and doesn’t really hold back with things he wants to say. He has this airy feel to him, a sort of lightness that gives you the impression that he takes the world head on with an open heart. But something in his eyes tells you that there’s more to him, a hidden darkness he keeps away from people, for fear they might judge.

And there’s nothing more you want right now than to have that piece of him.

After dinner, you stop by Starbucks, order your drinks and sit down in one corner, waiting for them to call up your names.

“So,” you say, sitting across from Jin, “what’s it like to be a superstar?”

Jin’s eyes flit over to Jungkook once. He clears his throat, casually rolling up his shirt sleeves. You’re slightly taken aback by how much more tattoos he has, a whole sleeve up his right arm. “Well, uh, busy?” He takes another look at Jungkook. “Always flying off somewhere?”

You look from him to Jungkook and back again. “Well, doesn’t sound much if you get to be rich and famous, right? Must be nice, having everything you want.” You sigh wantingly.

“Yeah, true,” Jin agrees.

“But lonely,” chimes Jungkook from next to me. “I mean, must be lonely, too. Busy schedule, barely seeing anybody except for the crews and staff. Wake up alone, eat alone, sleep alone, sometimes even rehearse alone. It’s a lonely life.”

You give Jungkook a weird look. Jin says, “Yeah, that, too.”

“Do you agree with everything he says?”

Jungkook tuts. “I told you I know everything Jin.” He meets your gaze and you look away, scoffing.

“Sounds like you two are dating,” you say, waving your finger to point at them.

They both laugh at that. Jin points to Jungkook with his thumb. “I practically raised this kid.” Jungkook gives him a look, his mouth opening like he was going to say something but thought better of it.

“How long have you two known each other?”

“Since he was fifteen,” Jin replies with a grin. “I make him the man he is now. He grew up so well, such a fine man.”

You laugh, wondering if they were hinting at something, a private joke between the two of them.

“Orchid? Your chai tea latte is ready!”

You look up, pushing back your chair to get your drink.

“Orchid?” Jungkook asks when you return. “I thought your name was y/n?”

You chuckle. “I just don’t like giving my name out in public. Orchids are my favourite flower.”

The barista holds up another drink. “Jungkook?” Jin stands up almost automatically, pushing his chair back. “Your pink drink is ready!”

“Oh, it’s Jungkook’s,” you say, waving him back. “Not yours.”

Jin freezes mid step before his eyes slowly glide over to Jungkook who shares the same look on his face. “I, err, I think mine’s coming up so I’ll just go get both,” he stammers, tripping over his own feet towards the counter just as the barista calls out his name, doing a double take, staring hard at Jin as he approaches. She must have recognised the name and his face and you worry that it might be time to leave before he is swarmed by fans. But the barista looks away from Jin with no interest, going back to her work. See, you think, not everyone knows him.

You excuse yourself to the restroom just as Jin returns, Jungkook nodding at you. Just as you leave, the two men huddle together in furious whispers.

“What the fuck are you playing at?”

“Stop it, she might come back soon!”

“I’m not doing this forever, dude!”

“Yah, I didn’t say forever. Just for today!”

“Are you serious? She can easily find out for herself and she’ll hate you for it!”

“When she does, it wouldn’t matter anymore.”

“What does that-”

“Everything okay?” They both whip their heads around to find you standing behind Jin, eyebrows dipping, looking from one guy to the next questioningly. “What’s going on?”

Jin clears his throat, sitting back into his chair. He flashes you a smile. “Mmm, nothing. Just telling Jungkook here that I have an early day tomorrow and that I should go.”

“Oh.” You check your watch. It’s 10.15PM. “Yeah, I think I should go,too.”

They both walk you back to your car, Jin somewhat silent, hanging back a little. Jungkook, on the other hand, happily chatted away. He seems to have a lot of stories to share about people he never truly named, keeps using this person, or that guy, or this lady he knows. It’s all a little strange. Back at the car, with you in the driver’s seat, window rolled down, Jungkook leans against the car, a small smile on his lips.

“Are you sure I won’t find you at the supermarket, running from a cult again?” you ask jokingly.

Something flickers over his face but the smile never wavers. “Maybe.”

That night, as you are getting ready for bed, you realise he never asked for your contact, like what most guys do, what they’re supposed to do. You slip under the covers, wondering why you even care if he did or didn’t. You don’t even remember the last time you were interested if a guy is into you or not, your meetings with them pushed to the back of your mind like some insignificant event in your day like finding a flower growing on the sidewalk. You see it, acknowledge it but then the whole thing is erased from your mind as bigger , more important things take up the space.

Jeon Jungkook. You roll the name around on your tongue, the image of his lush lips and broad shoulders running through your head and you think, yeah, he really doesn’t look like a Jungkook.

“You met him?! The Kim Seokjin?!”

You swat against Hoseok’s arm, shushing him from being so loud. He lowers his head but his volume stays the same. “When?! How?! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?!”

“I just met you today!” you retort, glancing around to see if anyone is staring. You’re at a cafe near your workplace, meeting Hoseok for lunch. He manages a nearby designer store, a shop you wouldn’t ever find yourself in. “And it happened just last night. This is as early as it gets.”

Hoseok puffs his cheeks, scowling at me. “Tell. Me. Everything. Where did you meet him? How?”

You take a deep breath. “At the record shop, you know, the one at that old strip mall?”

“You mean the one across those big, fancy apartments?”

You nod. “Apparently, I met his housemate at the supermarket. Some people were chasing him and, one thing led to another, I gave him a lift and dropped him off at the record shop.”

“And Jin was just casually standing there?”

You nod again, taking a sip of your chocolate milkshake and making a face at how thick it is that you can barely suck it out of the straw. “I think he was supposed to pick his friend up at the supermarket.”

Hoseok’s eyes are bulging. “And you went to dinner? With both of them?”

“And then Starbucks. And then I went home.” You use your straw to mix the shake around but it doesn’t do much. “Pretty cool guys, I guess. Jin was mostly quiet, though. Jungkook, though, was the total opposite. Has an airy feel to him. Laughed a lot, too. Kept making these dad jokes.”

Hoseok tilts his head, confused. “Jin was quiet? Really? Huh.”

“Why?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “I guess everyone’s different off camera. He’s usually the loud one, the one joking around and making sure everyone is comfortable.”

You wave your hand dismissively. “Well, celebrities always have on and off camera behaviour. He looks like a college kid. How old is he?”

“A couple of years older than us,” Hoseok answers confidently.

“Really? He looks really young,” you muse. “Kind of looks like a little bunny, too.” You chuckle to yourself.

Hoseok laughs. “Really? A bunny? Never heard of that before. People call him Worldwide Handsome.”

You laugh again. “Oh yeah, Jungkook told me that. I hope it wasn’t himself who started it.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if he did,” says Hoseok through a mouthful of fries.

“I don’t know. He seems a little shy.”

Hoseok snorts. “Jin? Shy? That’s not the impression I got off him from watching his interviews and stuff.”

You shrug, crumpling the paper wrapper of your burger. “Are you done? I have to get back to work.”

You walk together towards the big intersection that will separate the both of you as you head east towards your workplace and Hoseok goes west towards the shopping area where it’s more crowded. On a whim, you say, “Jungkook didn’t ask for my number.”

Hoseok looks at you and it takes a second for it to sink in. “Wait, you wanted him to have your number?”

You shrug your shoulders again, not answering.

Hoseok narrows his eyes. “You want to see him again?”

“He wasn’t so bad,” you reply softly, feeling a little embarrassed to admit it.

Hoseok cackles loudly. “Oh, my god, this is a breakthrough!”

“You’re so loud, Hobi,” you moan, pushing him away. “I’m not sharing anything with you anymore.”

He raises his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Sorry, I just got excited. I mean, c’mon. I’ve known you since freshman year uni and not once did you ever pay attention to guys I thought you swung the other way.”

You give him an incredulous look. Suddenly, his eyes go wide again. “What if he lives in that fancy place?!” The thought didn’t cross your mind but now that you think about it, it could be feasible. Hoseok continues, “You could, like, hang around the strip mall and see if you’d run into him again.”

“No one goes there anymore,” you say with a pout. “It’ll be so obvious if I do see him again there.”

Hoseok laughs, putting a hand on your shoulder just before you separate at the crosslight. “Where there’s a will, there’s definitely a way.”

So that’s how you find yourself at the strip mall parking lot on Saturday morning that weekend, hesitating in the car and thinking why the hell did you let Hoseok talk you into this.

“There’s a gym there,” Hoseok had told you last night when you met up for dinner at your place to go over his plan. “I know someone who works there and I’ve signed you up for a trial week. The gym overlooks the road across the apartment so you can easily see people coming and going from there.”

You had rolled your eyes at him, disapproving everything he said. The last time you were in a ‘gym’ was the gymnasium in high school and it wasn’t even your choice to be there. You’re not the type to do sports or be active in any way and you don’t even know how a gym actually works! But Hoseok promised it would work. You take a deep breath and step out of the car, waiting for some catastrophic event to happen so the world can swallow you whole and you can go back and tell Hoseok well, you tried. But nothing happened, of course. Nothing ever happens when you want it to.

The gym isn’t hard to miss, if you can call that dark, dingy place with the signboard half-lit on the top a gym. The windows are grimy but you can somewhat see the shapes of equipment inside. It’s quiet here, even for a weekend and the only other people you saw on the way over was a couple of elderly ladies that gave you a ‘what is a young person doing here’ look. They smiled politely though. Again, you think about going back to your car and lying to Hoseok that yes, you went in but didn’t see him and left. I mean, not that he would know, right? But the thought of what if, what if you did see him again makes you second-guess the idea. You sigh heavily, opening the front door of the gym and stepping inside.

The smell of dirty socks hits you square in the face and you almost gag if not for the man sitting by the counter with his face behind a magazine. For a person working at a gym, he doesn’t look like he used the machines much. The bell over the door rings but he doesn’t look up. You approach him cautiously until you are standing right across from him and staring at the cover of an old edition of Penthouse. You clear your throat and the half-naked lady on the front cover is finally lowered. The man looks up at you lazily, waiting.

“I, uh,” you stammer. Clearing your throat again, you say, “I have a trial week here? Um, I don’t know whose name it’s signed up for but, uh-”

“Knock yourself out,” he drawls, gesturing inside and raising the magazine back up again. You stare at it for a couple of seconds before you shuffle inside, looking at the equipment that looks to be over thirty years old, some even covered in dust and other stuff that you rather not know what. It’s empty aside from an old janitor sweeping in one corner, eyes glued to the floor, his motions a bit mechanical.

The treadmills are lined up by the window and as you near it, you see that Hoseok was right; it does overlook the road and the apartment. You have a clear view, even of the huge gate that separates the apartment from the outside world. Great, you think, I’m a stalker now.

A noise from somewhere deeper in the building takes your attention and you turn around trying to locate it. Curious, you follow the sound and find that the gym is actually bigger, with another section at the back. You see sandbags and punching bags lining one side of the room and on the other side, big letters that say NO GUTS NO GLORY takes up half of the yellowed wall. In the middle of the room is a boxing ring. Two men stand in the centre, one holding up cushioned padding thingies in his hands while the other practises his swings, hitting the pads with strong punches. That was the noise you heard.

Instantly, you recognise the punching guy. It’s Jin, in a short-sleeved T-shirt, his tattoos showing over well-trained muscles. “Jin,” you call out. “Jin!”

He must have not heard you over the noise and you go closer, waving your hand over your head to get his attention. “Kim Seokjin!”

He pauses, looking up. It takes awhile for him to register who you are before his eyes go wide and he whispers something to the trainer. He takes off his gloves and comes to the edge of the ring. “Uh, hey, y/n,” he greets but with a frown. “What are you doing here?”

You grin sheepishly. “Um, decided to try coming to the gym?”

He looks around the place. “Here?”

You can’t help but feel like he was judging you and he might be rightly so. There are so many other choices for a female to go to that’s not as unhygienic as this place that looks like it’s used as a drug trading place at night and you feel caught in your little plan, a stupid plan, to see Jungkook again. You shrug, trying to play it cool. “Uh, yeah. I saw it that night and thought why not.”

He doesn’t look assured, looking at you like you might as well be doing a handstand. Then, he lets out a light chuckle, undoing the bandage wrapped around his fists. He comes down from the ring and you wonder about how tall and big he really is. You wrack your brain for something to say. “What about you? Why are you here?”

“My usual gym doesn’t have this,” he explains, gesturing to the ring.

“I’m sure there are better places,” you whisper.

He raises an eyebrow, one corner of his lips turned up. “Yeah, I can say the same thing to you.”

You cross your arms together. “Why am I being judged for coming here?”

He points towards the huge windows by the treadmills. “Because I live just over there. What’s your excuse?”

You raise your eyebrows. “Right. I figured so, being a celebrity and stuff. I’d have to sacrifice my sister to live in that place, though I’m not even sure if she’s worth as much.”

He gives you a funny look but doesn’t ask. “Well, I’m sharing the place with Ji- Jungkook so it’s not that bad.” Your heart does a little flutter at the mention of Jungkook’s name and Jin catches something in your eyes. He stares at you. “Are you…looking for him?”

“What? Noooo! Why would I be?”

Jin crosses his arms together and narrows his eyes at you. He raises one eyebrow and you immediately yield. He reminds you of that little bunny in the movie Pets, cute but tough. “Ugh, fine. I am. Happy?”

He laughs. “Well, you probably won’t see him around until next weekend. He’s out of town.”

Your heart falls, disappointed. “Really?” Jin notices your tone changes and for a second you think you see worry in his eyes. You backtrack, smiling. “Oh, that’s fine. Is it a school thing?”

“Huh?”

“Is it for his classes?” you rephrase. From the conversation you had during dinner that night is that Jungkook is in university, studying for his Masters in physiology.

“Err, right,” Jin answers, lightly scratching the back of his head. You nod, wondering where he had gone to but too timid to ask. You look down at your feet, lightly scuffing the balding carpet underneath. Jin clears his throat. “Do you want to, um, leave him a message?”

You look up at him, thinking. Then you shake your head, feeling a little stupid at all of this. “No, it’s fine. If I see him again then I’ll see him again.”

Jin nods understandingly. There’s something in his eyes that you can’t quite decipher.

“So, you do this all the time?” you ask, making conversation to fill in the awkward silence. “Boxing?”

He nods more enthusiastically this time. “Yeah, it’s fun.”

You gesture to the room. “But why here? I’m sure you can afford a better place with a better trainer?”

Again, he looks unsure of how to answer but then says, “Well, first it’s close to home. Second, did you know this place created legends before?”

“As in somebody died in here and some legendary story came out of it?” you ask sarcastically. He laughs, shaking his head. “No, I mean real boxing legends. Some of my favourite ones started here, back when this place was alive.”

“Oh,” you say. He laughs again, sensing your lack of interest.

“It’s not so bad, y’know,” he says defensively. “Just don’t touch anything.”

You point to his gloves. “You practically dunk your hands in those!”

“Excuse me, these are mine!”

You both laugh.

He regards you for a second. “Want to grab lunch?”

You mull over the idea. “Yeah, sure, why not.”

He chooses a sandwich shop around the corner and you both sit down to eat. It’s not busy but the place is pretty buzzing. You look around the shop, a little worried that he might feel uncomfortable that people might recognise him. He’s clearly in the open, obviously having no problem being in public.

“We can go to a quieter place if you want,” you suggest when you both sit down. He looks around with a confused look on his face. “No, here’s fine,” he says nonchalantly, unwrapping his sandwich.

“Really? You don’t mind if someone comes up to you and stuff?” you ask, starting on your food, too.

His eyebrows furrowed for a bit before it looks like he catches himself. “Right, yeah. Well, it’s fine.” He shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”

You’re unsure but you don’t argue anymore. It’s his choice, his fans to deal with if he does get swarmed. You both eat in silence and you see that he eats pretty fast. He ordered two sandwiches, too. He then looks up after the fourth bite. “So, why were you looking for Ji- Jungkook?”

“Is it that hard to pronounce his name?” you giggle.

He groans. “It’s the double Js for us.”

“I wasn’t exactly looking for him,” you start to say but he gives you a look that says he knows you’re bullshitting. You roll your eyes. “I wasn’t! I was just…curious. About him.”

“Curious about what?”

You shake your shoulders. “I don’t know. There’s something about him.”

He snorts. “Right, there is something.”

“What do you mean?”

He shakes his head so hard his hair is flying. “No, I mean, yeah, he’s definitely something. Annoying, for one.”

“That I experienced first hand,” you say with a laugh. “But he’s funny.”

He stares at you. “You think his lame jokes are funny?”

“It’s not that lame.”

“Boy, you got it so bad.”

You shake your head at him incredulously. “I don’t even know him.”

He pauses, picking at something on his sandwich. “You got that right,” he mutters.

You look up. “Sorry?”

He takes a mouthful of the sandwich, stuffing everything inside. “I said, there’s a lot of spice.” He points to the sandwich in his mouth.

You spend almost two hours just talking with him, sometimes about boxing, other times about his tattoos and somewhere in between, casually, you’ll ask about Jungkook and he would tell bits and pieces of their lives together. Somehow you talk about how you’ve never dated before, which shocked him, wondering if this was your first crush. He doesn’t speak much about his acting career or anything like that. You guessed it’s probably confidential or something he just doesn’t want to talk about. Then again, no one really talks about work at a hangout, much less with someone you just met once. At the end of the day, you’ve exchanged contact details, not with the one you wanted but at least he’s an international celebrity. Hoseok will be thrilled to hear this. Maybe you’ll bring him too, the next time you guys decide to meet.

But Hoseok left town for a three-day work trip and he’s so busy you barely even text. You decide to just leave the details about your hangout with Kim Seokjin for when he gets back on Friday. In the meantime, you meet up with Jin twice more; once on the next Sunday where you spend the whole day shopping, and then on Thursday night for dinner. You can’t help but feel how almost childlike Jin acts, almost as if he’s your little brother instead of a famous person. You feel endeared by him more than any romantic feelings.

The more you hang out with each other, the more things you learn about Jungkook from Jin. The more you learn, the more you think you’re crushing so hard on the guy you met only once. It’s all very strange to you, someone who has never even had a boyfriend. How would you know what it feels like to really like someone?

That Thursday night, Jin took you to a Thai restaurant, where you both agreed that the food was subpar. You told him that you can cook the tomyam better and he gave you a defiant look and said, “Bet.”

And that’s why you’re at the supermarket right now, choosing the ingredients carefully, a little flustered as you’ve never really cooked for anyone except Hoseok. Thinking of Hoseok, your phone suddenly rings. You see his name on the screen and answers. “Yellow!”

“Reeedddd!” he answers with a loud laugh. “Guess where I am?”

“On the toilet? Pooping?”

He gives out another big laugh. “No! I just got back! Are you cooking tonight? I’m hungry and tired and we have a lot of catching up to do.”

“I’m not your personal chef,” you retort, selecting some prawns for the food tonight.

“But you do wuv me, don’tchu?” replies Hoseok in his babied voice.

You roll your eyes. “Well, then you’re about to be blown away because Jin is coming for dinner.”

“Excuse me, what?”

“Yep.” You finish shopping and make your way to the cashier. “You heard that right, fanboy. And you can finally see the tattoos I told you about.”

Hoseok is sputtering on the other end. “Fuck, y/n. I leave for three days and you’re chumming up with a world celebrity?! I’ll be there in ten!”

He arrives before you do, waiting inside in the living room, using one of the spare keys you gave him the day you moved in. He pounces on you the moment you get inside the door, attacking you with more questions that you can answer. As you cook, you tell him everything. Hoseok notices how you talk more about Jungkook then Jin, the one you’ve been seeing, but he doesn’t say anything, smiling to himself. His friend definitely has got it bad. He can’t wait to meet this Jungkook guy and measure him up himself, see if he’s good enough for you.

He’s scrolling through Google, trying to find a picture of Jin with tattoos but failed. He guesses that Jin must have had a team hide them when he’s on camera. But there are just things that don't quite add up. Like, how you said you went out with him in just T-shirts and shorts, his tattoos on full display. Not one picture of Jin online, the paparazzi photos, the sneaky fan shot photos, showed any signs of him with ink, even the one where he was on a beach, shirtless. And Jin doing boxing? Not once did he ever mention it in interviews nor posted any photos of himself boxing on social media. Maybe it’s a secret hobby. He wonders how much of a celebrity’s information online is even true, how much do they have to hide away from the public to portray the perfect citizen. He shrugs, throwing his phone down. He’ll meet the man himself in less than an hour anyway.

“Alright, I’m done,” you say, throwing yourself onto the couch next to Hoseok, sighing.

Hoseok looks at you. “You’re not going to change?”

You look down to what you’re wearing. A pair of denim shorts, a tank top with sunflower pattern and a white cardigan on top. “What’s wrong with this? I’m at home.”

He shakes his head. “Your best friend is a manager at a designer shop and you dress like this? I have failed you, friend.”

“Don’t even start with me,” you groan.

“I need the potty,” Hoseok says cutely, pouting his lips together. “I’ll be back.”

“I do hope so.”

He makes a face as he walks away. The doorbell rings and you shoot to your feet, a little surprised. You check the time. He’s early, you think. You go to answer the door, opening up to find Jin holding out a fancy-looking paper bag. “You’re going to be happy to know that Jungkook sends you this.”

Your face lit up as you took the bag from him, peeking inside. It’s a bottle of some fancy champagne you can barely pronounce the name of, beaming up at Jin happily. “He’s back?” you ask a little too excitedly.

“Not yet,” he replies. “Sorry, I meant he sent the money for it.”

“What, you can’t afford this?” you ask jokingly.

Jin’s face froze for a second. “Wasn’t it better to get it from the one you like?”

You nod then stop yourself. Just then Hoseok comes back, announcing to the world that he has successfully moved his bowels. “Our guest is here!” you shout inside as a warning to behave. You turn to Jin whose eyes are wide. “I’m really sorry, I forgot to tell you that my best friend was coming over. But it’s just one person and he’s cool, don’t worry about it.”

The blood drains from his face so visibly you worry he might faint. He’s backing away from the door now, eyes so wide they might pop out of his head. “Jin?” you call. “Are you okay?”

Hoseok runs over to where you were standing in the doorway and peeks his head out just as you were asking the question. He looks up and down the hall then looks at you. “Where is he?”

You roll your eyes at him. You gesture to the man standing a few feet away, sweating bullets. “What do you mean? He’s right there.”

Hoseok looks at Jin then back to you, his frown deepening. “That’s not him.”

You look back at Jin, or not Jin, your mind racing along with your heart. Then he turns on his heels and bolts out of there, taking the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. You stare after him, blinking slowly, your head trying to make sense of what’s happening. Hoseok gently pulls you back inside the apartment and sits you down at the dining table. He takes the champagne bag and puts it away. He kneels by your legs, taking your hands in his, squeezing.

“Y/n?” You slowly look at him. “Are you okay?”

You don’t answer, don’t know how to.

He squeezes your hands again. “Y/n, who was that?”

You think but you don’t have an answer. Your heart turns cold at the thought of spending time with someone you don’t even know, and even inviting him to your place. What if he’s some kind of murderer? Rapist? “He said he was Jin,” you say simply, dryly. You remember the first time you met him. No, that’s not true. Jungkook was the one who introduced him as Jin.

Hoseok finds his phone, types in something and holds up the screen to your face. “This is Jin.” To himself, he wondered how come you never thought of googling the guy. It was easy enough to find out. But, then again, you had been interested in the friend, not Jin, so he guessed it didn’t matter to you?

He watches as your empty eyes glide over to his phone, slowly focusing on the picture he opened up. You slowly shake your head. “That’s,” you say, swallowing thickly, “that’s Jungkook…”

Hoseok looks at the picture again, wondering if he got it wrong. He turns it around back to you. “You mean, this is Jungkook? The guy you met at the supermarket?”

You move your head once, a nod.

“He said he was Jungkook?”

You nod again.

Hoseok is also confused. He pockets the phone, deciding that you could discuss this another time. There’s not much he can do right now other than play his part: nurse you back from whatever you’re going through right now. If it truly was Jin, if it was truly him who lied to you, then the actor might have lost his number one fan, Hoseok thinks.

As Hoseok guides you to the sofa, your mind is far away, thinking back to that first time you met them both. You’re replaying every conversation, every little detail in your head, picking out all the times that you think something was a little strange or weird. Like how Jin, not Jin, kept stuttering on their names, how he, not once, was ever worried when they were out in public, how no one even paid any attention to him other than the hungry looks the girls gave him. The strange look you saw on his face that couldn’t decipher is now clear; it was guilt.

~~~

Jin came back from his shooting a day earlier than expected, lounging in the living room on the big, leather couch with his phone to his ears listening to an old friend of his confiding in him about what happened last weekend.

“She doesn’t love me anymore, man,” Namjoon is saying through tears, his voice shaking. “The way she looked at me…fuck, I don’t know what to do, Jin. It’s so fucking hard. I know I fucked up but I thought…I thought we could fix this.”

Jin sighs sadly. He doesn’t know what to say exactly to comfort Namjoon although he knows all too well what happened between him and his wife, now ex. They were together for five years, married for three and then separated for two years, only because Namjoon kept dragging his feet from signing the divorce papers. Today, alas, after another year and a half, the divorce is finally official, which is why he’s hearing about it now when all he wants is to run a bath and then go to sleep.

But Namjoon is one of his oldest friends, a friend who he used to work with before he decided to quit and pursue acting full time; a total surprise for everyone. He had also been close to the wife, having BBQs at each other’s places every other weekend back when they were living in the same city. Secretly, he hopes the wife is doing better now, after the stunt Namjoon pulled. Jin sighs again. He spends another hour trying to comfort the other man before the call finally ends and he throws the phone to the carpeted floor and stretches.

Suddenly he remembers that Jungkook had gone off to your place for dinner and he feels a slight twinge of jealousy. He bought the champagne for them but when he heard about the dinner, he gave it to Jungkook to give it to her instead. He heard so much about you from him. It seems they were hanging out after meeting at that shady gym Jungkook goes to. He feels a little happy to know that you went there to spy on him.

“Hyung, she really likes you,” Jungkook had told him over the phone. “I don’t think I can keep this up any longer.”

He laughed then. “I never told you to. You can just tell her the truth and be done with it.”

That had pissed the younger man off, cutting the call short. He has suspicions that Jungkook is the one who you’re starting to grow on. He doesn’t mind it, kind of saw it coming. You matched better with Jungkook then with himself. Jin doesn’t have time for relationships right now. He’s busy carving a name for himself, a girl would just slow him down. And she was just some girl he met at the supermarket, for god’s sake. If anyone picks up on that story, he'll be the next laughing stock. The Kim Seokjin, who brings home - or in some cases goes over to theirs - models and top actresses and heiresses who all have something for him in return for bedding them, suddenly settling for some chick he only met once? The one time meeting wasn’t the problem, that was mostly the case with the others.

She’s cute, he thinks to himself, but not my type. A little too innocent for his liking, a little too naive. Just a nobody he set his eyes at the wrong time, at the wrong place. An innocent victim just for him to test his market, not that his marketability is questionable. It was really cute to watch as he winds you up, slowly but surely, charming you so well you ask about him even when you’ve only met him once. Asked about him even when Jungkook was doing his best to woo you. Jin chuckles to himself. Another notch in his long belt. He gets up, ready for that bath.

The front door crashes open and Jungkook comes storming in, looking like he ran all the way from somewhere. Your house, probably. Jin gives him an amused look. “What? Forgot your condom?”

At the sound of Jin’s voice, Jungkook whirls around before the blood rushes back into his face. “You!” he bellows, pointing at his housemate across the room. “It’s all your fault!”

Jin smirks. “Well, hello to you too, Kookie.”

“Fuck you,” Jungkook growls so vehemently spits coming flying. “She hates me now, hyung. She hates me.”

As cold as Jin’s heart is, he has a soft spot for the younger man. The smile on his face melts away as he watches Jungkook’s fighting back frustrated tears. He sighs, sitting back down on the couch. He runs a hand through his hair. “Want me to go talk to her? Tell her everything is my fault or something?”

Jungkook snorts, a look of disgust on his face before he walks off to his room, leaving Jin staring at the spot he was standing in just seconds ago. Jin sighs again. “Damn kids so fucking dramatic,” he mutters.

~~~

It’s a couple of weeks later when you finally feel normal again. Days of Hoseok nursing your wound with teas and ice creams and chocolates. After much googling and searching through social media, you know now that the two men had simply switched names, for what you’ll never know. A part of you tries to justify his actions by telling yourself he did it to protect himself, his privacy. The group chasing after him at the supermarket was proof enough. In a way, you understand it. You’d probably do the same if the roles were reversed and you stumble upon someone who actually likes being with you for you, and not for the fame and money.

So, you forgive him even when he never asked for forgiveness. As for Jungkook, the real Jungkook, the one you spent days with, invited him over for dinner, that Jungkook…well, you aren’t so sure considering he had so many chances to tell you the truth, come clean. The look on his face when the jig was up is still stuck in your mind’s eyes, how he had freaked out and ran away. No texts, no calls, no I’m sorry’s. You wonder if you’d let him talk to you if he actually did reach out.

You snap out of your reverie to find yourself idling in the cereal aisle, staring at a spot in between two cereal boxes. You come back, straighten yourself and push your cart out of there. You’re outside by the entrance, trying to find your keys in your bag when you see a man in dark clothing leaning against one of the walls. You subtly turn just to check and see that he has a black mask over his face, cap down low. He pushes himself off the wall and walks over, hands in his pockets, as casually and as coolly as if he does this all the time.

Your mouth is dry. He nods at you. “Hey there, stranger.”

You contemplate ignoring him and leaving or face him head on. You choose the latter. “Hi. Seokjin.”

He does a little bow. “That’s me.”

“What do you want?”

He gestures to his surroundings. “It’s a supermarket. Everyone comes here.”

You regard him for a little while longer before nodding. “Yeah, right. Well, have fun.” You find your keys and walk away, trying to remember where you parked. You hear footsteps behind you and you glance over your shoulders to find him following you. You stop, turn and look behind him. He looks, too, a little confused. “No cult following you, Jin. You’re safe but the Uber pick up point is over there.” You point back to the entrance of the supermarket.

“I was thinking of catching a ride with you,” he says lightly with a smile. “For old time’s sake? What d’you say?”

You chuckle dryly. “No, sorry. I don’t ride with strangers.” You turn and continue on to your car, him still following you.

“C’mon,” he calls out. “I thought you were looking for me. I’m here now. You should be happy.”

You whip around, plastering the sweetest smile you can muster when all you want is slap him across the face. “Actually, I was looking for Jungkook. Not you, right? So we cleared that up. Have a good day.”

He leans over you to push the car door back closed. You reel in your anger, breathing in slow, steady breaths. “Look,” he says from behind you. “It’s not Jungkook’s fault. I made him do it, he just went along with it.”

“And you? You have nothing to say for yourself?”

You turn and stare into his eyes. You see that same glint of the thing he hides inside, the deep dark part he doesn’t let anybody know or see. Kim Seokjin is a rising star, he can’t be nothing less than the perfect yet humble king that he is, right? That mysterious part of him that you had wanted to know so badly doesn’t look so interesting anymore, not enticing anymore. He’s just another, ordinary fuckboy that hides behind his angelic reputation. All you feel is pity.

Jin sees the look in your eyes and he doesn’t like it. He steps back, his face falling. You finally can open your door again, gets inside. You start the car and roll down the window. You give him one last long look. “I forgive you, Kim Seokjin. For all the things you’ve done.” Jin’s handsome face turns dark and for the first time in his life, he never felt so vulnerable, his perfect armour cracking. He keeps his eyes on you through the rolled up window, on your sweet little face looking back at him. Such plain beauty, he thinks, like a daisy among all the expensive roses he picked and let wither. And yet…

You shift into gear and the car glides forward, leaving him standing in the parking lot watching your tail lights disappear into the distance.

:MASTERLIST:

a/n 2: check out the rest of the one shots to catch glimpses of this story, from a different angle ;)

#bts #bts fanfic

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sopejinsunflower · 7 months

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Naww thank you for reading and loving this! 💜💜💜

Series Masterlist

Status: COMPLETED

Summary: The titan group from South Korea, BTS, suddenly vanishes off the face of the earth, only to wake up in a three-storey house with a small-time writer and their DNAs altered. Omegaverse is no longer just a fiction trope; not to these eight people, no. Stuck with only one omega between them, how will this polyamory evolves? And, will they ever escape the house?

Warning: 18+!

Genre: Mystery, thriller, poly, smut (ofc), omegaverse (duh)

Pairing: OT7 x reader [Alpha: Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook. Beta: Jin, Yoongi, Taehyung. Omega: Reader]

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | Epilogue

#bts #bts fanfic #house of the omegaverse

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sopejinsunflower · 7 months

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This is definitely true as a diver writer. Sometimes things just flow without us even realising whats going. Sometimes im typing up a line the character is saying and i’d be like why tf would u say that? Or if the character says something cheesy i’d be like ew cringe lol but yes, we don’t have much control over how a story goes 🥲

when fanfic authors say that they don’t decide what happens in the story that the characters make the decisions i imagine it like this:

writer: *sitting down* type type type type *squinting at the screen* type type type

writer: *gasp* WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT…… type type type

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sopejinsunflower · 7 months

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When I was watching this, all I did was pout even more cuz what?? He thinks him looking at me like that is gonna make me feel better? No! It just makes me want to bawl more into his chest! 😭

... and I will wait for you! {trans cr. @/haruharu_w_bts}

#bts yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi how dare you #😭😭😭😭😭

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sopejinsunflower · 7 months

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Your back, beneath the sun

Wishing I could write my name on it

#august #bts jungkook #sigh in delulu land

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sopejinsunflower · 8 months

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@effielumiere exhibit A cndhdhecjdhdg 💦💦💦

230822 - taehyung for wkorea

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sopejinsunflower · 8 months

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Hey!! I just saw your reply about picking up the pace, and I wasnt sure what you meant!!

If you mean a) turning something out faster: PLEASE DO NOT push yourself!!! I will wait forever until you have something you feel will fit where you want your story to go, and I will be just as excited seeing a new chapter then as I am now!!

If you mean b) picking up the pace in the story itself: I think its going great! I obviously cant speak for anyone else but the pace its at now has me wanting me yet enjoying everything we have so far at the same time.

As always: THANK YOU for sharing what your amazing brain has created with us 🫰🏼🫰🏼🫰🏼🫰🏼

Omggg i feel like crying reading this 😭😭😭

You’re so kindddddd ARE YOU AN ANGEL BECAUSE 😭😭😭

I meant B but I HAVE been feeling a slight pressure of feeling like i should update more often and more consistently too. But my work schedule has changed since i switch jobs and i no longer have as much freedom or time to write anymore and i feel this overwhelming guilt everytime i open tumblr that i sometimes avoid it altogether 😭 but im doing my best to try and write whenever i have the motivation and time to (i have JK and Tae’s one shots in progress thats going nowhere atm lol).

In regards to B, i do think myself that the story is too slow but im very happy to know that you are enjoying it as it is 💜 it also gives me hope that I shouldn’t rush the plot and let it flow as i see fit. I guess i felt that HOTO was back to back suspense, I wanted Eidolons to be more relaxed but i honestly suck at fluffy romance i feel im not doing enough in that department to pull people in lol thank you for loving this series, love ❤️ i hope you stay tune for the (very) slow reveal 😆💜

You have no idea how much this message gives me light and hope in my writing. Thank YOU for taking the time to tell me 🥹🥹🥹 i loveee youuuuuu and pls stay healthy❤️❤️❤️

#fluffy messages makes me uwu #eidolons #im honestly crying 😭#my readers are the best

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sopejinsunflower · 8 months

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Hehehehehehe Karma is just unfazed really at this point he’s just rolling his eyes at how slow things are moving 🙄🤣

2023.001.0019: Jamais Vu

When Jin got up this morning, the first thing he noticed was the way your bedroom door stood ajar, the sun spilling straight into the hallway, pooling on the carpet where Karma, the cat, is lounging.

“I could’ve stepped on you, you know,” Jin mumbles, stepping around the cat who only gazes lazily back at him.

Jin sticks his head into your room, peeking only to check if you’re still sleeping. The sight that greets him makes his eyebrows jump up and almost disappear into his hairline. He retreats back and glances back down at Karma as if the cat has some sort of explanation. He turns back around, tentatively pushes the door wider, and steps in, quietly padding across the room to your desk. He pulls out the chair and sits down, looking at the three entangled bodies sleeping in your bed, albeit over the blanket.

Sitting back in the chair, Jin watches the slow rise and fall of the three chests; you all curl up in between Yoongi and Hoseok, one hand loosely in Hoseok’s hold, head turned towards Yoongi who has one arm lightly over your waist. Jin smirks softly to himself, thinking about how numb Hoseok’s arm would be with your head on it, or how Yoongi will complain about his back since he’s sleeping in a slightly twisted position.

Jin can’t help the smile on his face. It doesn’t surprise him that it’ll be Hoseok and Yoongi first; he kind of expected it, even. This was how it happened that first time and if it follows the same patterns, then Jin thinks he’ll feel less insecure. Despite this, he also can’t quite get rid of that tiny voice in the back of his mind to keep vigilant, to wait for the other shoe to drop because it always does. He wants to keep positive but centuries of hurt and pain doesn’t get fixed just because he feels confident in this cycle. That confidence could be the fall of him.

So Jin resorts to not saying anything to anybody. He’ll keep both his suspicions and hope to himself if it minimises the damage, but for now, he’ll sit back and enjoy the view. He’s curious about what had happened last night for the two to end up here but he’s more focused on the way your eyelids flutter as you dream. He scoots the chair silently closer to the bed. Watching you sleep could be a hobby of his by how much fascination he has right now, wondering about if you’re dreaming of good things.

Yoongi stirs and his eyes slowly blink open. He takes a moment to place himself, looking around the room but more at you in between him and Hoseok. Jin watches as Yoongi places a soft whisper of a kiss on your forehead before proceeding to untangle himself, stopping short when he finally turns around and sees Jin sitting there staring at him.

Jin stretches his philtrum, pressing his lips together, trying to stifle the laugh bubbling out of him. He presses the crook of his elbow to his mouth, leaning sideways as his shoulders shake. Yoongi tries to maintain the annoyed look but the shy smile creeping up on his lips is harder to conceal. He gets up off the bed, lightly pushes at Jin’s chair so he swivels around the opposite direction and leaves the room.

Recovered from his silent cackling, Jin finally stands up and leaves, too, before you or Hoseok wakes up, heading to join Jimin and Taehyung as he hears them go down for breakfast. He’ll let the others know to leave something at breakfast for the two.

Before he walked out the door, Jin made sure to pull the curtains tighter, eliminating the slit of sunshine that was previously on your back.

~~~

It’s warm. Warm and soft.

I open my eyes and the first thing I see is another pair of eyes staring straight back at me. Instantly, I could recognise them as Hoseok, warm and so full of…

I sit up, pushing up on my hand and looking around groggily. The first thing that pops out of my mouth is, “Where’s Yoongi?”

~~~

Hoseok can’t help the smile slowly forming on his lips at the confused look on your face, eyes wide, mouth upturned in a slight pout, hair messy from sleep.

“Downstairs, probably,” he replies softly, smoothing your hair with one hand. “Do you want me to call for him?”

You shake your head but still look at him in an odd way. Hoseok waits patiently for you to say what’s on your mind, unaware that he’s still holding on to your hands, tracing back and forth with his thumb over yours. When a minute passes by and you still haven’t said anything, Hoseok decides to speak first.

~~~

“You had a panic attack last night.”

I look at Hoseok, processing his words, trying to remember back to last night. At first, nothing comes to mind, the memories murky and black, indistinguishable. All I can recall is sitting on the side of the bed, gasping for air until a shadow fell over me and held me close.

Yoongi’s eyes.

Yoongi’s voice.

You can have us both.

~~~

Hoseok watches you jump as if something had suddenly stung you. You’re blinking rapidly, clearly panicking over something he can’t quite see nor understand.

He grabs ahold of your hand more firmly, squeezing it gently to get your attention. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay,” he soothes, sitting up as well to better get on your eye-level. “Shh, you’re okay.”

He catches your cheeks in both palms, making you look at him and to his surprise, you lean into his touch, eyes closed. Your breathing evens out and you visibly relaxed, shoulders sagging. Without opening your eyes, you whisper out something so breathy Hoseok didn’t catch it the first time. He leans in and asks you to repeat yourself. This time, you blink your eyes open and repeat, “Is it true?”

Hoseok tilts his head, uncomprehending.

Hoseok watches you take a deep breath and for a split second he thinks he knows what you wanted to say before the words even left your lips.

~~~

“I can have you both.”

The sentence comes out as more of a statement than a question and we both sit there in complete silence; me regretting the words immediately and him, staring at me like I’d just grown a second head. I can’t backtrack now and even if I could, what do I even say? I sounded crazy because what does that even mean, if I can have them both?

Hoseok is giving me a stern look now. He readjust his position and move his hands from my face and my stomach drops. But he takes my hands instead and instantly, the butterflies start up again.

Hoseok squares his shoulders and takes a breath. He exhales. “I’m going to ask you some questions. I’m going to be direct about them and you can be honest with me. If you think they are absurd, you can tell me. I just want you to be honest. Okay?”

I lick my lips and nod.

Hoseok nods, too. “Okay. My first question is,” he pauses, visibly hesitating before plunging in, “how do you feel right now, in this moment?”

I take my time to think about it before answering, as honestly as I can, “Safe. I feel…” I look down at my hands in his, “safe.”

Hoseok squeezes my hands, whether it was voluntary or not, I’m not sure. “Safe, okay.” He sounds almost disappointed when he asks, “Only safe?”

I purse my lips, holding back on the actual word, worried that if I do say it, Hoseok will never look at me the same way he’s looking now. But the word bubbled up from the depth of my heart and spilled out in a squeak before I could stop myself anymore: “Loved.”

I was right; Hoseok does change the way he looked at me, but in the complete opposite of what I had thought. His eyes glistened, he smiled from ear to ear, his lips quiver ever so slightly. He chuckles wetly, shoving his face into his arm to wipe at his eyes. “Okay, next question.”

~~~

“How do you feel when you’re with us?”

Hoseok remains vigilant of your body language, keeping an eye on your eyes, on your face, and the way your fingers are wrapped around his. He pays attention to any subtle changes because the second question may feel a little too soon. Maybe he should rephrase it, ask about Yoongi instead but the question is already out and he can’t take it back.

“The same,” you answer quietly. “It’s odd and makes no sense but…I told this to Jin before. That it didn’t make sense to feel so at ease with seven men who are supposed to be strangers. But I do. It’s weird, isn’t it?”

Something catches Hoseok’s attention at the bedroom door and he looks up.

~~~

Hoseok looks up over my head at something and I turn around to find Yoongi standing in the doorway. He has a tray of food in his hands.

He must have seen the look on my face because he comes right in, places the tray on the desk and sits on the edge of the bed. There’s genuine worry on his face as he leans over and places the back of his hand against my forehead.

I let out a giggle.

~~~

Hoseok watches you giggle as Yoongi takes your temperature with the back of his hand. You do look red in the face and with the wetness in your eyes, it’s easy to see it as you coming down with something.

“I’m fine,” you tell him, your voice soft.

Yoongi glances over at Hoseok, a flitting question exchanging between them in that one look and Yoongi situates himself more firmly on the bed. “Darling, you had a panic attack last night,” he says carefully, “Do you remember what triggered it?”

Hoseok thought that the question was a risky one, something that could make you shut down again when he had already managed to get a half-confession from you. But he held his tongue because the fact that he himself didn’t think to ask first felt like he had put his wants above your needs and there has never been anything more further from the truth.

Yoongi returns your gaze, eyes never wavering from the intense look you’re giving him which only peaks his curiosity. What had thrown you so off the edge last night for him to find you almost catatonic, barely breathing right? If he knows what it is, maybe he can help alleviate it. He’s done it countless times before, fighting your demons for you because that’s what he’s good at.

“You,” you simply say.

Yoongi arches his eyebrows. “Me?”

You only nod your head in affirmation.

Well, now Yoongi has to think about how to fight himself.

~~~

At the pained look on Yoongi’s face, I hurry to add an explanation.

“I had a dream,” I start, hesitant because I don’t know how to explain the dream to make it make sense. “About you. And me.”

“I see. Did something bad happen in the dream?” Yoongi asks.

I bite on my lower lip. “No, nothing bad. But…”

“But what, honey?”

My heart does a little flutter at the pet name. I feel a little more confident now to continue. “But it just didn’t feel like a dream. It felt…real.”

“Real how?”

It’s Hoseok this time and I turn my head around to look at him. “It’s hard to explain. It felt like…like I was there, physically, in the dream. I could feel Yoongi’s hands on me. I could feel…” I hesitate, hearing how crazy the words sound. “I could even feel his breath on me, the emotions I was feeling in the moment. It was almost like a-”

~~~

“Memory,” Yoongi and Hoseok finish for you, simultaneously.

You stare at Hoseok, confused, before starting to chuckle. “How can it be a memory when it hasn’t ever happened yet? Or did I get amnesia or something and we’ve actually known each other longer than I thought? Did I forget you?”

You laugh harder, shaking your head. “That’s a soap opera, guys. It was weird but this is not a telenovela.” But you’re staring off out the window, your forehead creasing.

Hoseok’s heart, once again, dropped to the bottom of his feet. One step forward, two steps back; and he really thought you were making progress. He guesses he had been too impatient, too greedy. He looks briefly at Yoongi who easily takes charge.

“And that triggered you into a panic attack?” he asks gently.

You shrug your shoulders. “I guess. That’s all I remember, honestly. Before you came.”

Yoongi nods solemnly as if he understands it all and Hoseok gives up on the rest of the questions he has for you. You’re not ready and he wouldn’t push you.

There’s a moment of silence and Hoseok is sure the conversation is finished. He’s actually getting hungry and maybe you both need food and he’ll revisit the topic another time.

“You said I can have you both,” you suddenly whisper. “You said I didn’t have to choose between you and Hoseok, that you were madly in love with me and so was Hoseok. That I was madly in love with you, too.” You turn to look back at Hoseok, eyes wide and scared. “Madly in love with the both of you.”

You turn back to Yoongi. “It’s crazy because it felt so real.” You pause, frowning at a spot on the bed sheet. “So real. Like a memory. Who has that kind of dream?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath and scoots closer on the bed. “Have you been feeling a lot like that lately?”

You nod. “That night with Jungkook was the strongest. The night he last told me the story.” You turn to Hoseok. “I asked him to, to distract me. I was feeling so overwhelmed.”

A tinge of guilt flicks at Hoseok’s heart. He had been so angry at Jungkook that night but the lad had broken down at the end of the night, convinced that something was happening with you and happening too fast. Now, he regrets not listening to the youngest because as much as they’re scared of scaring you away, they can’t stop the natural phenomenon of you figuring things out yourself, no matter the pace. The only thing Hoseok hopes to do is soften the blow but he’s starting to realise that softening the blow could mean that they’d have to come clean first.

“Hoseok,” you call.

~~~

Hoseok lifts his head, the scowl still on his face.

“Hoseok,” I say, “why is it so bad for Jungkook to tell me that story? Why do you always get so angry at him when he does?”

“I don’t get angry at him,” says Hoseok, defensively. At the withering look I give him, he concedes, sighing. “I’m not angry. I don’t get angry at him, I just…It’s just that the story is…Well, the story is just difficult. Complicated.”

I frown. “You think I can’t handle a story?”

Yoongi taps my knee to get my attention. “Do you like that story that much? Jungkook has tons of other stories he can tell you. Just ask him.”

Irritated, I snap back. “I don’t want other stories. Seriously, what’s wrong with that one? Why are you so-”

Something hit me then, a realisation that halts my speech, dawning on me like a bucket of ice someone dumped over my head. I freeze, my mind focused on that idea and that idea alone. I look back at Hoseok. “The story’s real, isn’t it? It’s not just a story, is it?”

Yoongi and Hoseok exchange looks and that’s as close to an affirmation as I can get. “Whose story is it?” I look from Hoseok to Yoongi then back again. “Tell me.” My voice grows harder, louder.

“Maybe now’s not the time to get into it,” Hoseok starts to say but I shake my head and pull my hands out of his constant hold.

“No. Tell me, please. Whose story is it?” I repeat, backing away on the mattress.

Hoseok only looks at me pleadingly. “I will but-”

“No buts!” I lash out. “Please, just tell me what is going on. What are you hiding from me?”

~~~

There it is, the unravelling. You’ve finally seen the thread of lies and are now pulling at it, slowly.

Hoseok tries again. “We’re not hiding anything from you. You’ll find out in time. I-” He’s reaching out to you, wanting to hold your hand again but you’re moving away. He’s desperate now.

“What is it you don’t want me to know?” you push, struggling to climb down from the bed. “What is it about the story you’re trying to keep from me?”

Hoseok opens his mouth but the words are lost on him. He doesn’t actually know what to say, fumbling to find the best way to calm you down. You’re standing now at the edge of the bed, just a few feet away from him yet it feels like you might as well be on the other side of the planet. You’re too far away. He just wants you back in his arms. Just moments ago he managed to make you acknowledge your true feelings for them, for him, and yet here you are now, distrustful, irritated, and looking at him accusatorily.

“We’re not keeping anything from you.” Yoongi’s voice reaches Hoseok’s ears, much more stable and stronger than his own. “There are things you just need time to learn for yourself. We’re just trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?”

~~~

Yoongi’s jaw ticks but he doesn’t answer me.

“Protect me from what?” I repeat through gritted teeth.

It’s honestly getting so annoying. The way they’re treating me is as if I’m a child that needs to be shielded from the world. Do they think so little of me? Have they been taking me for a fool all this time, tiptoeing around me like I’m some kind of fragile glass? I can handle the truth. I’ve dealt with worse. I wanted to scream these things to them but a part of me just can’t get that angry at them.

There’s a voice deep inside telling me to just listen, to just trust but how do I do that now when it’s clear they haven’t been fully transparent either. Trust has to work both ways.

“Y/n.”

I whip my head around towards the bedroom door and see Jungkook standing there, a dark look on his face. I’ve never seen him so serious before and the look in his eyes demands that I listen. He’s younger than me, has always felt more like a younger brother to me, too, but right now, he commands such a strong aura I forget all about the tiny details. When did he become so big and tall?

“I will finish the story by the end of this week. Sunday night, when the moon is full.” The playful Jungkook isn’t there right now. He has a very deep, solemn voice, eyes never leaving mine. I can see the broiling emotions in them, such intensity it feels like I’m growing smaller in his gaze, towering over me with such authority. “We will answer all the questions that you have after that. Any and all questions, we will explain it all. But,” he pauses, flicking his gaze over to Hoseok and Yoongi.

“But?” I ask hesitantly, my voice coming out dry.

Jungkook looks back at me. “But,” he says, stepping closer, “on one condition.”

I don’t prod, waiting because I know he will say it.

“You have to spend the days leading up to Sunday with us,” he finishes.

I let out a wry chuckle, rolling my eyes. “I already am. We live together.”

Jungkook shakes his head. “No, not like that.”

He takes another step closer and then another until he’s standing right in front of me, until I have to tilt my head to look up at him. With one finger, he traces the side of my face and along my jaw; my skin tingling with electricity, my heart thumping. “You have to be open to every feeling, every emotion, everything your heart tells you. You have to be open to that little voice in your head. You have to be open to us.”

I swallow tightly. “Meaning?”

Jungkook drops his hand. “You’ll understand it soon enough.”

I search his eyes, looking for any hint that he was just messing with me, that he’s going to step back and laugh and tease about the look on my face. But he doesn’t. And deep down, I already know this. Deep down, I know what he’s telling me, know what he meant exactly but I just can’t bring myself to admit it. It. Just. Doesn’t. Make. Sense.

“It won’t make sense now,” I hear Hoseok say from behind me and I turn around so fast to face him, surprised that he had read my mind. “But it will later. I promise.”

Yoongi gets off the bed, standing there and rubbing the back of his neck. “Just trust us.”

“Trust us,” Jungkook echoes more firmly.

I look from Jungkook to Yoongi and to Hoseok still on the bed.

Chalk it up to Jungkook sounding convincing, or that I just wanted them out of the room, or that I do actually have a soft spot for them. Chalk it up to me just withering under Jungkook’s gaze, or that I just want the conversation to end, or that I actually do believe them. I’ll tell myself that I just didn’t want to argue, or that I just want to leave the room, or that, in fact, that little voice Jungkook mentioned was actually telling me that trusting them will be the first step, the first jigsaw piece to fall in place and the rest will follow.

Chalk it up to just, for a brief second, I want for it all to be as easy as Jungkook said it could be, so I nod my head slowly. “Okay,” I breathe out. “But.”

Jungkook’s eyebrow lifts, waiting.

“But you have to trust me, too,” I say, my voice coming out softer, lighter than usual. “You have to trust that I can handle whatever it is you think I can’t.”

Jungkook looks up at Hoseok who flits his worried gaze to Yoongi. The three of them nod.

---

“The real thing is finally beginning.”

The figure in the white robe moves around the basin as if the view of whatever it’s looking at would change with the angle. It doesn’t. The second figure tilts its head.

“Something feels oddly familiar, no?”

A Cheshire grin spreads over the first figure’s face.

---

The next day, early in the morning, I wake up before everyone else. The house is quiet; no sound, no movement, no smell of breakfast when the sun is barely up.

I get dressed and softly padded downstairs and out of the house through the back door. The sky is alight but the sun still hasn’t fully risen over the trees; the kind of mornings when it’s just silent and misty, morning dews still sticking to the grass and leaves, transferring to my jeans as I walk down to the stream.

I don’t know why I came here. I just needed to get out of the house, out of the four walls that feels more like an enclosure rather than the place I was excited to come live in just a few months ago, back when everything feels like a fresh start. I twist around to look back at the house, noting that all of the windows on the second floor, minus my own, have the curtains drawn shut. Good. That’ll just give me a few moments to myself, to sort out my own thoughts.

I sit on the rock I usually perch on and pull up my legs to hug my knees. The sound of the water trickling down the stream is calming and every breath of the crisp morning air is refreshing. I take in a deep breath. I’m not a morning person but I absolutely love mornings like this, when everything is still slumbering away, when even the birds haven’t woken up yet.

I think about the conversation I had with Jungkook, Yoongi and Hoseok yesterday, about the promise Jungkook made and the condition that came with it. It’s a simple request, nothing extraordinary, yet I couldn’t shake the looming dread that seems to sit heavily in the hollow of my chest. It’s like that feeling of going to the beach on a fine day and having this notion that a storm might just roll in out of the blue even when the sky is perfectly clear. It’s unlikely because the weather reports say it’s a fine day, the day itself is perfect, not a cloud in sight and yet, deep down, you just know it’s going to take a turn for the worst.

Why, I don’t know and that’s the aspect I’ve been trying to deal with. Why is it that after the story is finished, I would feel like the world would just end? It’s just a story, a story that I had, before yesterday, been dying to hear the end of. A story that gave me a sense of calmness and familiarity but there was nothing that connected me to it. Hoseok said the story is complicated but I’ve yet to hear anything that puts it as anything but a typical love story, albeit the polyamorous aspect of it, assuming from the title itself. Not to forget that it’s actually a real story, real encounters.

And Yoongi mentioned about protecting me. It sounded ominous, like something about the story will hurt me, destroy me. Like the story will reveal a truth that will absolutely flip my world upside down. I scoff at that last thought. My world has been flipped upside down, multiple times over. Whatever he thinks might be destroyed after has already been wrecked. You can’t make worse of a broken mirror.

I press my forehead against my knees. Jungkook’s condition is simple; to spend the days leading up to the storytime as openly as I can with them. I tell him I don’t know what it means but at the bottom of my heart, I know exactly what he meant. Had he known, too, all this time? Had they all? When they call me by the pet names and I don’t oppose, did they know? When they hold my hand and I never pull away, did they know? In every smile, every laugh, every word exchange between us, had they always known that I was and am-

No, I’m not. I can’t be. I’m just comfortable with them, enjoy their presence. They are sweet and kind, warm and caring. Nothing like the people I left behind.

A rustling in the grass brings up my head from my knees, turning around but not seeing anybody approaching. It’s not when I look down to see the double tails of Karma languidly swishing from side to side that my heart slows down.

“Seriously,” I chastise him, “you should really be louder.” I pat the spot next to me and he jumps up. I stroke his head a few times, making sure to scratch him behind the ears, his favourite spots. “How do you always manage to find me?”

Karma looks up at me, eyes imploring something I wish I could understand. The sky is looking more golden now as the sun slowly rises and the birds all around are starting to chirp, softly as if they had just woken up. Karma purrs, attention stolen by a sudden chirp from a nearby tree, eyes focused on something in the leaves. He jumps down and stalks off in the direction.

“Leave the bird alone, Karma!” I called after him but he had disappeared in the grass. I roll my eyes. Petulant child.

My eyes are drawn back to the house, looking up at the row of windows on the second floor. All of them are just as they were earlier, except for one; Namjoon stands in front of his window looking down in my direction. Our eyes meet (or it feels like they did at this distance) and he raises a hand in a wave. He then disappears back into his room and I have a strong feeling I’d see him coming down the yard soon.

Sure enough, not five minutes later, Namjoon is jogging down towards me, still in what he wore to bed, hands shoved deep into the pocket of his grey sweatpants. His dark hair is tousled and I chuckle to myself at the thought that he didn’t even bother to brush out his hair first.

“Good morning,” he croaks out in that morning voice, deep and gravelly.

“Morning,” I greet back. “You’re up early.”

He nods, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He squats down next to the stream and dips his hand into the water. “Fuck, it’s cold,” he hisses and I laugh. He does again, this time cupping water to wash his face.

“You could’ve done that upstairs in the bathroom,” I laugh.

“Forgot,” he grunts back, finishing and coming back over to me. He doesn’t even wait for me to move before plopping down next to me and sighing heavily. He stares off into the distance.

“Why are you here?” I ask, genuinely curious since it’s taking him such great effort to wake up. I have this strong urge to run my hand through his hair, gently combing it out. I grip my own arms tighter.

“‘Cause you’re here.”

I give him an incredulous look but he’s looking at a spot in the stream, eyes unfocused. “That doesn’t matter. You didn’t have to come.”

He shakes his head. “I wanted to.”

“It’s early, Joonie. You can go back to bed.”

He finally looks at me. “Only if you come with me.”

I stare at him.

He stares back before his brain finally reboots properly and backpedals, “As in back to your room. Not- you don’t look like you had much sleep, either.”

Still smirking, I heave a sigh. “Yeah, I didn’t.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, not really.”

We remain in silence for the rest of the time, listening to the babbling of the stream and the birds finally getting noisy around us. We remain unspeaking even when we see Karma climb down from a tree, licking his lips and struts back to the house. We remain quiet even when our backs are finally warm from the sun and Mrs Oliviera has to holler from the back door to announce breakfast is ready.

Is this what Jungkook meant to be open? If it is, then I guess it’s not so bad after all, I think, as my head rests against Namjoon’s strong shoulder, something that naturally happens somehow in between the silent hours that passed.

***

I stare at the piece of paper Jungkook handed to me.

“What is this?”

“It’s a schedule,” he answers, pointing to the title in big, bold letters on the top. “See?”

I frown, holding out the paper to him. “It’s just days and your names on it. What kind of schedule is that?”

Taehyung laughs, coming over to see. “I got the first day! Monday!”

“Yes,” says Jungkook, replying to you. “I told you, you’ll have to spend the days with us leading up to Sunday when I tell you the full story of the Eight Lovers. The schedule is to give us equal time with you.”

I roll my eyes. “Seriously? Why can’t it just be more natural? This is so weird.” I wave the paper over my head before Jin plucks it out of my hand.

Chuckling, Jin passes the schedule back to Jungkook. “I have to agree, kid. It’ll feel forced.”

Jungkook exaggerated a pout. “Fine. I put a lot of effort into it though.” He takes the paper and carefully folds it into a small square, stuffing it into his pocket. He sits down but his bottom lip still juts out.

I pat him on the knee. “Nice handwriting though, Kookie. But no schedule, thanks.” I look around the room, suddenly feeling awkward. “So, um, what do you suggest we do first?”

“As a team or as a couple?” Taehyung asks nonchalantly.

~~~

Jin watches your eyes widen at the question and he wants to tease you so bad for it but Jimin beats him to the punch.

“I want it as a couple,” Jimin says cheekily, leaning into your face as he grabs a handful of nuts in the bowl next to you before moving away. You blush, looking away to hide it from Jimin but Jin sees it clear as day. He catches your eye and smiles knowingly, laughing at the defeated pout on your lips.

To be honest, Jin’s stomach is unsettled right from the moment he was told of the week’s plan. It’s not that he’s not happy about it, he is, very much so. But this nagging feeling is worming through his nervous system and he just can’t shake it off. The picture of a thunderstorm cloud in the distance is stuck in his head and no matter how much he tries to tell himself it’ll be okay, the more dread fills his heart.

“Let’s just do what we always do,” Namjoon says from the corner of the room where he’s sitting with a book. “Just don’t think about any of this.”

You grimace. “The more you tell me not to, the more I will.”

Yoongi enters the room with two mugs of steaming tea. He casually passes over one to you and he takes a seat across from you. He blows over his mug, eyes on you, watching the way you nervously chew on your lips and wondering if you even notice what you’re doing as you fidget with a loose thread of the sofa, your legs under you. It takes him back to a time when he would have been sitting next to you instead, one arm around your shoulders.

Yoongi remembers that time well, back when the wonders of medicine hadn’t really reached their part of the world yet. The winter cold had seeped into the room through a crack in the window he had been meaning to fix for a long time now, your legs huddled under you for warmth. He had pulled you close against his front, sharing body warmth as Jimin had gone upstairs to retrieve a blanket.

You had been chewing on your lip as you are doing now, your hair covering your face as you looked down. Yoongi had squeezed your shoulder, earning a turn of your head and a weak smile. He kissed your temple, his other hand wrapping around your extended belly.

That time, centuries ago, he had assured you that everything will be okay, pretending that his heart wasn’t weighing heavily on his stomach, just like right now as he watches you across from him. Your eyes meet his and he smiles reassuringly as he always does, hoping that you get his message, telling you it’ll all be alright, something he hopes wouldn’t count as a lie. But that memory in time hadn’t ended so well and he dreads that it would be the same this time, too.

The seven of them watch you take a deep breath, sitting up straight and looking around the room. You exhale slowly and with that, a slow smile carves on your face. There’s a sort of acceptance in your eyes, a clarity none of them has seen before. You nod your head a little and Namjoon wonders what you are telling yourself.

And just like that, without a word, you just naturally inserted yourself into Jimin and Jungkook’s conversation, sliding down onto the floor to get on the same level with the boys, bumping knees with Jimin but not minding that they’re touching.

For a moment, Hoseok feels slightly at ease, relaxing in his seat, ignoring the banter between Jimin and Jungkook, focusing on you, on how you laugh and the way your eyes squeezed shut. For now, he’ll pretend he didn’t see the look on Jin’s and Yoongi’s faces, that he didn’t notice the flicker of fear in their eyes nor the foreboding feeling creeping up his back.

For now, he’ll just be happy and entertain the idea that they are on the road to normal, if normal even applies. All he knows is that he won’t have to hold back any longer, that he doesn’t have to hide how much it hurts not having you in close proximity. You’re here, with them, and that’s all that matters.

a/n: Wow, I haven't updated in so long. I...seriously have no excuse except that I haven't had the same amount of time to write as I use to. When I do have free time, I just want to rest without doing anything T_T please I need motivation to write T_T i have a kookie one halfway written when Seven came out and now Layover is here i just- drfrfncsdjcbegb *slaps self*

Next: coming soon!

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