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Through it.

I'm almost done with college. And I'm living this split second of not hating it. I hate the fact that it almost worn me out, and that I almost literally took my life. In college, college was my life and I hadn't any idea what's beyond it -- of course, like any other person in the world. I just had to give myself time for this. Before I finish through it. I can't believe it's gonna finish soon, and the more we come close to finishing, the more I get back to years ago. And before, I didn't hate college, there was a time that I loved it and everything. There's so much I thought I could do with 5 years. I can't believe I'm running out of that 5 years, I couldn't say I'm almost there -- I... I'm almost out-. It's been so hard, and so far the hardest test in my life but I took it through, and I went through it--college- damn. I can't believe I went through all those emotions, I never thought I could handle all those.

College--

I imagine it inside a jar

like the pennies we save -- just the change

-Our take aways.

Though I never felt this much of being robbed,

Because I knew I was careful.

But the bigger the bill, the smaller the change

and I wish I could it put it all in a bank

and save it all

but I couldn't.

Because not like money,

one is one equivalent to one,

'Cause college is as valuable

as costs of things

that we can afford to feel now

And we're almost done filling up the jar.

But ho knows?

Maybe tomorrow it's time to spend it.

And I feel like crying, like any other person in the world. Who's in between the lines of being proud and regretful. So this is what almost feels like

#college #student #poems on tumblr #my poem #original poem #poem #prose poem #poetrycommunity #poets #poet #tula #mgatula #university

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hm… bee and puppycat shoes or over the garden wall shoes?

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Led through the mist, by the milk light of moon… ♪♫

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All the leaves are either red or dead now

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I am watching Katsuhiro Otomo Presents: Memories movies 1 to 3! Been enjoying so far, great animation to start with and the content is something brains will nibble on. These OG's are most likely the source materials for new trashy movies lol idk

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It's been a while since I last wrote shii. Well I'm back with my clout.

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Cold Coffee

I don't know why

and or

Is it just me,

that coffee tastes sweeter

when it's cold

and how it bitterly

it is when it's hot

Or is it just because

time heals

even for whatever reason

I needed make a hot coffee.

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I'm happy to see my friends happy pero nakakalungkot kasi hanggang ngayon naddepress parin ako, and it's as if I'm just competing with them when I say I'm happy because I feel like should be. Wala na sa yaman yaman saka success, pasayahan nalang sa buhay. Eitherway I don't have it. Mas lalo lang ako nalulungkot to admit na hanggang ngayon malungkot parin ako sa buhay.

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Time comes when you suddenly ask where have you've been in times you were worried for people, and you're there with them. Only to realize you got no one to worry about you

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Tbh marami parin naman akong natututunan kahit OL tangina kasi pamilya mo naman problema mo, edi parang di ka narin natuto sa daming isipin

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Buti kayo naranasan nyo mag college ng hindi nakakulong sa bahay

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Ate ko na fault finder, lahat ng hindi magawa dito sa bahay lahat sakin sinisi. MAY BUHAY AKONG SAKIN AT HINDI LANG AKO ANG ANAK DITO!

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Ang goal ko sa buhay ay mabuhay at lumayo sa bahay namin

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The Rococo Sun

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Whenever I watch a good and bad film, for some reason, I'll always think about whether I'm happy with what I have at the very moment. Only in movies I'm aloud to be judgmental. It's the only place where I think it's safe to say that --phew I'm glad I'm not like her, or, God, how I wish. But mostly, I wish the latter.

There are good things that I can reason out why I'm happy, I've earned quite the reputation to start anywhere in arts. I'm an ambitious visionary. I am one with the radicals, and more importantly I won't stop until I got it. Well, news --I still haven't gotten it. What I have right now is the reputation. I call myself an artist now, just years ago I didn't until my circus years. (Which I won't elaborate.) Am I really happy with the reputation? 'Cuz I feel like it's a closing window and I'm getting old. Like waiting for a picture to develop, shaking the polaroid to weakness. But in backwards. U know what I mean.

But you know, maybe I'm happy because I'm just caught in the middle? Just glad to have something to get a hold of me? And I really, if I'm in the middle... I don't know which end to go to remain happy.

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As of now, I can only feel one thing, and that's how life defeated me at all possible ways.

Growing up and having a talent, people around me have groomed me to dream big because I have an advantage. And so I did, I managed to create a big picture of my future and that I can get around to make it happen. I have pride, motivation, I have the skill, it's as if a have a bigger canvas compared to others. Until years recently, it's shown me how I could never win in life. I am intimidated and scared the shit of my future and how I will secure it. What I've always wanted to achieve was to pursue art that I am most comfortable with, and now... I am just hoping I could make it to a day that I am genuinely smiling and just happy. I really hope I am truly happy for what I am doing right now, painting or not-- I don't care. I just wanna be truly happy. And it's not showing in any of these words.

Being a grown up, living in with your parents, I could only say that if there's one thing I am most valuing right now, it is going away. Escaping. If I have to actually live one more day, I can only achieve it by going far from the life I have right now. And it's alright, my life here is not bad I guess. I didn't have financial problems, I am too detached to be concern of our family problem, college is alright and is giving me something to get busy with, I have a boyfriend. I do not have a reason why I need to go away, well I hope being unhappy can be one. So that it'd be valid for me to tell everyone here that I am not happy anymore, that at least I'm trying.

And I am too shy to tell the people I am around with that I wanna live, but I want to be happy. I am not suicidal anymore. I'm just sad, I wish it'll all go away.

Life just always win.

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Some People (trigger warning)

some people

take pills for cure,

some people cry

some people

drink for the night,

some people suicide