soymilkwriter

[soymilkwriter]

In order to heal from it, you have to let yourself feel it. Repeat it!

#writing #excerpts from my writing #writers of tumblr #journal excerpt #writings #quotes

[soymilkwriter]

Bold of you to assume I can tell apart gender envy, romantic, sexual, aesthetic, and platonic attraction

[soymilkwriter]

call me hamlet the way people only know me for my monologuing and homosexuality

[soymilkwriter]

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them

[soymilkwriter]

one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.

- via duckbunny

[soymilkwriter]

Mieko Kawakami, from 'Heaven'

[soymilkwriter]

— Ocean Vuong, Because It’s Summer

[soymilkwriter]

Everyone is so focused on "where there is love we must live on" that they forget "where there is not we must provide it"

[soymilkwriter]

Writers: It’s okay to take a break.

Just a friendly reminder that it’s okay to take a break from writing. For a day. For a month. For however long you want to. Just because you aren’t physically writing doesn’t mean you’re not a writer. Resting is part of the process, too. So is meandering, living life, letting ideas flow through you while you take a long bath. Go have experiences so that you have something to write about. Get your heart broken. Rub your face on the grass. Sleep. If you hate yourself if you aren’t writing or being overtly “productive,” the question to ask is not, “How can I force myself to write more so that I feel better about myself?” but “How can I love myself no matter what?” and “How can I respect my process, which involves periods of not wanting to or not being able to write?” You don’t have to DO anything to be worthy, lovable, and awesome. It’s okay to take break.

[soymilkwriter]

Be so fucking proud of yourself for passing the hardest moments alone while everyone believed you were fine.

[soymilkwriter]

The truth is, I should've believed that Love was never real for me the moment Avery left. I never got the flowers. I never got the compliments, the goodnight kisses, or the longing stares to let me know they were looking at me. I grew up with parents who bickered like no tomorrow. Threats to leave forever were constantly thrown around, and the sound of keys and a loud truck engine revving to prove their point was a sound I got all too familiar with. My environment consisted of nothing but glowing red arrows pointing to the "inevitable" fact that true Love is fictional. You only see that Love in the movies, and if you ever saw it in real life, it never existed for people like you.          I've been told my whole adult life, the very little of it I've experienced at least, that no one would blame me for losing hope. I've been hurt an unbearable amount of times by all types of situations, and yet here I am, admiring the old couple smiling at one another on an old wooden bench on the far left side of the park. I find myself gawking over the same cheesy romantic comedies and still fiending for a personal rendition of 10 Things I Hate About You. I still like hearing stories from my mom about the good moments when she was married to my dad, even years after he passed away. I still smile when I see my close friends happy with their partners. I still get giddy when a cute guy looks my way. I look up at the same sky and wonder if my soulmate is looking up too.          I've entertained the idea of giving up before, and to be quite frank, I put on this role that I hate Love, and I've given up on cupid. I pretend that my personal cupid lost his GPS towards my soulmate, or maybe he died on the way to him. I entertain it after every rejection, only to find myself craving the feeling again.          I don't know when I'm going to find Love. I don't know if it's a day from now, hell, years from now. To be fair, I've gotten to a point in my life where I couldn't give a damn for Love long last. I offer a damn about Love in the present. I don't care about all the times I've witnessed men who reek of alcohol and misery approach women hoping to have sex for the night, followed up with a hearty breakfast of regret in the morning. I don't care about all the times I've sobbed on the floor over a guy who never had the brain cells to see how much I'm worth. Most importantly, I don't care how many times I'll witness modern romance plummet to the ground because of hookup culture or thousands of different names for things besides the term "relationship."          I know Love is true. I've felt it. I feel it when my eyes widen at every red and orange tree I see in the Fall. I feel it when I find a new coffee shop. I feel it when I laugh with my friends. I feel it when I hug my mom. I feel it when I hear a good song, even more, when I hear it for the first time. I feel it when I listen to Greta Van Fleet. I feel it when I drive alone, screaming lyrics for only me and the artist stuck in the music box to hear. I feel it when I lay on my red swing in my childhood home, and it's cold and cloudy. I feel it when my best friends tell me they love me.          And if I feel it with the small things, one day I'm gonna feel it for the big stuff. One day a guy is going to look at me and think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. He'll smile as he holds me tightly but soft enough, so I don't crumble. He'll drive to see me just cause he can. He'll pick up a batch of flowers at the grocery store cause he saw them on a dress I wore. He'll laugh at my jokes, even when they're not funny. He'll kiss away my salty skin after wiping away my tears and tell me my puffy face is still pretty. He'll apologize, honestly, when he does something wrong. He'll love me 'cause I'm human, with flaws as clear as day, and he'll love me more.          And I'll feel it even more then.

Ang

#excerpt #journal excerpt #excerpts from my life #excerpt from a book i'm writing #excerpts from my writing #creative writing #writing #writings #writers of tumblr #Writerscommunity #writers #Writers and Poets #women writers #publishing #insta reads #writeblr #writeblr community #original writing #original poetry

[soymilkwriter]

There are things a woman just knows when she is in love with a man. Especially when she is in love with a man who is so clearly in love with someone else.

An excerpt from me; A <3 

#unrequited poem #unrequited romance #unrequited love #excerpt #journal excerpt #excerpts from my life #excerpt from a book i'm writing #excerpts from my writing #love #literature #writing #writings #writers #writers of tumblr #writerslife #writerscommunity #creative writing #poetry #Writers and Poets #my poem #quotes

[soymilkwriter]

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”

— Nicholas Sparks

[soymilkwriter]

[soymilkwriter]

“You’re seeking something, but at the same time, you are running away for all you’re worth.”

— Haruki Murakami

[soymilkwriter]

The feminine urge to be gut wrenchingly mean to the men around you and even more so to the men you find attractive so you might find an enemies to lovers. 

#femcel #enemies to lovers

[soymilkwriter]

Me:

No I'm totally fine I swear

Also me:

*Types "<character name> x reader" into tumblr search bar*