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Gin! Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Yes yes yes I love when Joel is the one doing the asking, the one needing. It feels right.

inhale, exhale

Pairing: Joel Miller x afab!reader

Warnings: 18+. Fingering, mentions of sex, smoking (both reader and Joel), canon typical violence mentions, needy!Joel, fear of intimacy. Barely edited as usual.

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: This world is not made for intimacy and both of you know it.

Strong arms wrap around you as Joel dozes on the couch.

You wiggle in his grasp a little, body cooling rapidly after the fact. Your panties are still hanging off one of your ankles and the cooling feeling of his cum between your legs makes you shiver when a breeze falls through the open window beside you.

He always does this, holds on tight like you'll disappear into nothing after you've given him yourself. He has to hold you close to make sure you're real, you think. Sometimes his eyes shine with the fear of something horrifying, but it has remained unspoken and you wonder if this strong, stoic man you've found to become a part of your life is afraid to be alone. It feels that way with how he molds you to his body now, the soft swell of his stomach beneath you rising and falling with his deep breaths.

You'd never expected to feel comfort in this world, to feel wanted. It still shakes you, scares you, the knowing that you are flitting purple and piquant through his mind even now as he starts to dream. Once when this thing was at its beginning he had told you he never dreamt. You could hear the lie in his stilted words.

Still uneasy in the role of his piece of comfort, you wriggle your way out as soon as Joel falls under the spell of sleep completely and his grip turns lax. He tugs a protest at your retreating form but it’s weak and waning as he falls back in the deep of dreamland. Your heart swells a little as you watch him, you have to allay the feeling from yourself as you stand.

He is something more than you expected, something you didn't plan to find and don't know how to have. Joel has long been a man left wanting. There is a desire in him that runs deeper than he'd ever admit; the need to love, to share, to hold, to treasure. He acts sometimes like every moment together is the last.

Maybe he is right to do that.

Turning from his sleeping form, you plant bare feet on the cold floor. A silvery shivering thread pulls through your spine and it makes you want to wrap back up in him, just for a moment. Instead you shake yourself and pull up your panties. The warmth of his spend is slowly seeping from you, when it meets the fabric of your underwear you shiver for another reason. 

Everything feels syrupy slow after a moment with him, the twilight tinged with sweetness. You smooth down your wrinkled shirt before gently padding to the stained table where a few hand rolled cigarettes lay in wait. They aren't there for you, but it's hard to resist the only vice you have other than the man who lies asleep behind you.

You take one cigarette and the lighter you know he keeps in a kitchen drawer, then move back towards that open window. Pushing the makeshift curtain aside, you peer out the window in to the night as you make the flame to light the smoke that you've been craving since before he fucked you.

The little fire flickers, the old metal lighter sparking a last breath in a bloom of orange flame; a temptation, a thrill when your fingers catch the heat of it and it brings you back to a memory of the afternoon. The feeling when Joel had pressed a kiss to each of your fingertips one by one. Tenderly warm, turned to scorching ache soon after. He is good at that. Tenderness, care. He has a habit of showing you reverence in small, familiar ways, even before he begins pulling you apart to drink of your desire.

Intimacy.

It fills you with something dreadful, finds you and twists your stomach into knots.

A sigh of contentment fills you after your first slow inhale, exhale. Warmed, your body relaxes the way it does when he… the way it does when you feel safe and secure. Rare in this life.

Outside this apartment earth spins on its axis in a never ending cycle. It’s after curfew but as usual people scutter the streets, hide away from searching eyes. The patrol trucks pass, blinding brightness causing the rule-breakers to scurry back into the dark like rats. That’ll be you later, when you leave him. But for now you inhale, exhale and watch it all turn like clockwork, again and again until you’re stuck in a trance.

“Gonna have to start chargin’ you for those” Joel's deep voice grunts behind you, pulling you from the tangled reverie. 

You smile, a slow and slacken thing, but don’t say a word just yet. His breath is hot on your cooled skin, as he crowds you slowly, intention in every moment with him. Large, tempting hands rest on the sill on either side of you, and he rests his chin on your shoulder for a moment. His own treacly inhale rattles you as he brings his lips to your neck.

Your stomach ties itself up again, tugs at you with fear and more. A fever bustles to life in your core. A pathetic sound between a moan and a sob leaves you, as Joel presses himself against you. You push back.

“Don’t be greedy” He whispers in your ear, drips the words like honey. 

You hum as you raise your hand and he kisses your neck once more, too brief, before taking the burning cigarette from your fingers.

You have spent your years resisting, resisting, resisting. He’s the first to make your resolve begin its slow crumble. A motion is set through you as he stays crowding you, the strong rise and fall of his chest moving you with him. Eyes closed, part of you gives in.

Joel needs more. He always has. He burns and beckons, it has yet to ebb. He palls like the smoke that blows from his exhale. Your disquiet sets in with the moment of silence. This world is not made for intimacy and both of you know it.

The open window sends a bloom of cold to your front, made worse by how warm he is behind you. In the streets below you two men stumble drunkenly, their too loud conversation turning to a blur of sound as it reaches up towards you. Joel moves to place the cigarette back between your lips, at the same time his other hand reaches down to cup your mound.

“Joel” You sigh around it as he nuzzles against your jaw. His fingers massage slow between your legs, panties sticky with the mixture of releases soaking through.

“Stay” he whispers against your skin. He presses more insistently, the heel of his hand grinding. 

“Not tonight” You take another drag. Your fingers shake.

Your words aren’t convincing. He hears it too.

“Can smoke as much as you want” He smirks as he pulls his head back to watch you react to the slip of his fingers inside your underwear. The slide of them through your heat, soaked the minute they touch you. You cough on the smoke as your breath hitches.

A blast of light on the street below makes your eyes snap open, at the same time his fingers press against your opening. Two push in easily. Thumb to your clit, lips right at your pulse point. You cry out softly.

The men on the cobbled street beneath the window try to make a run for it. Joel's teeth scrape your skin. He needs you in ways he hasn’t even begun to express. Your head dizzies with the saccharine swell in your core as he fucks you with his fingers, rubs circles on your sensitive nub. 

“Stay” Joel repeats. Still a question.

He’s drawing you open, making you spill. Another finger joins, thick and finding what you need. You have to stub the cigarette on the window sill before you drop it, and then you’re reaching back a tug on his hair, a grip on his shoulder that makes him grunt.

He needs you.

There’s a shout outside. Another and another. You can’t find the will to concentrate. He’s pushing against you, pressing digits inside of you, stroking your aching clit. He tugs your earlobe with his teeth as he grinds the hard length of himself against your ass.

Tight, tight knot in you. It’s unravelling. He’s become the only one who can unravel it. Your legs shake, he holds you together even as he pulls you apart.

Blood spills on the streets. Your body jerks taut as Joel mouths at your neck again. He wants you, he needs you. He needs this feeling even more than you do. Your cries drown out the outside world, as he needily gasps your name against your too-hot skin. The sudden gush from you soaks his hand, your underwear, drips down.

“Tonight” You go slack, fall against him as he soothes you with gentle words you can barely hear.

The world outside is not made for intimacy. 

Here in his world you allow yourself to breathe it in for a moment.

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bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

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do you ever have a conversation and think “I am not heterosexual enough for this”

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Why stress her out when you can stretch her out

#👀

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“men aren’t pretty��� wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong bad incorrect stop talking

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#very important post #< prev so true #javier peña #narcos #protomolequeue

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Ok so hear me out…what if there was a gym au with all the boys…🤔

You meet Joel in the weights section. He helps you with your form and then helps you with your aches afterwards 🤭

Javi P is a cardio king, he’s gotta be able to run after all. You meet him at the treadmills but he has a better suggestion for some cardio you can do together 🫠

Dieter is in a dance or aerobics class. He’s good with a rhythm, and it always boosts his serotonin. He takes you out dancing afterwards and we know where that leads 😌

Ezra is doing yoga. He loves the stretch. He helps you perfect your downward facing dog form 😏

I can’t think of any other boys rn but…what if…what if I’ve been thinking too much about this…what if I opened a new doc…

GIDEON?!?!?!?!

*raven.exe has stopped working*

I'M DEAD???

Me @ this:

Okokok so hold on lemme catch up with your big beautiful brain!!

Joel is DEFINITELY weights. He's hovering behind you, acting as your spotter, and then he puts his gigantic warm hands all over you: "correcting your form darlin' ". he chats a mile a dozen about his girls as he distracts you while you wheeze your way through the last set! he blushes all the way to the tips of his ears trying to ask you out before he absolutely destroys your 🐈 in the car???

Omg YOU DID NOT JUST BRING SWEATY JAVI P INTO THIS IM CRYINGGGGGGGGG. I WILL DO CARDIO WITH HIM ANY DAY !! (Idk if i can keep up but i bet he can make me 😉😉) ok but he gets on the elliptical with that tight butt and he definitely catches you staring SHAMELESSLY.

Oooooh but you're so right about Dieter?? You know those Zumba or pole dancing classes??? YEP THAT'S WHERE DIETER IS. the man can move his hips!! He will absolutely one hundred percent give u a lap dance. Idec that im so far off your idea rn i just want his sweaty curls on top of me.

I haven't really dipped my toe in the Ezra fandom yet, but that blonde streak of hair is very distracting. And that voice 🥵🥵🥵 yes please bend me in a pretzel sir 🫠🫠🫠

What if you opened the google doc... what if i wrapped u in a blanket burrito and made out with you (with consent ofc)... what if i fed u snacks... what if i proposed marriage..

#me waiting for you to see this like: 😈 #I knew what it would do #okay I have so much more to say now but hold on I need to gather some thoughts

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“pretty boy :3” i say. to my screen. on which there is a middle aged man deep in despair

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girl help they are making me do my job at work

#help 😭 #says me who has done fuck all today #I’ve literally answered one email

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“There is little precedent for fat androgyny. Generally our androgynous icons are svelte and lacking in secondary sex characteristics. David Bowie, Tilda Swinton, Katherine Hepburn; these small-bodied, predominately white figures of androgyny have created an aesthetic with little room for deviation. This means that for those of us with bodies that do not conform to traditional standards of androgyny, we are often misread and misunderstood, even in queer spaces.”

— Fat Queer Tells All: On Fatness and Gender Flatness - By Allie Shyer (via cassket)

#protomolequeue

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It will, Dieter. Thanks.

#sjkdfjks yes

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PEDRO PASCAL as JAVIER PEÑA Narcos - "The Palace in Flames"

#I want that jacket #preferably I get to take it off of him #along with everything else

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you’re a barbie, put your accessories in the tags

#gym bag #plasters #headphones

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That’s my favourite part, I was writing it like 😵‍💫

Thank you for reading!

closer to light

Javier Peña x f!reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+. pwp, truly no plot. sleepy spooning sex, thigh riding/grinding, dry humping, handjob, cum play, the tiniest hint of a breeding kink, pet names and fem coded language for reader throughout. Unedited.

Words: 1300~

Summary: Javi can't help waking you up in the middle of the night

He’s been awake for hours. Never sleeps even with you there. His mind thrums with the what, the when, the why only worsened by the silence of night and blanket of darkness.

It’s easier when you’re in his bed; Javi can get lost in those soft long breaths you take as you sleep. His body responding to yours; warmth upon warmth, heart upon heart. The presence of you stirs better feelings in him, the kind that make him wide awake for easier reasons. The twitch of him when you push back in your sleep, ass rubbing against his half hard cock which is waking up even more rapidly than him, even when it’s 3 in the morning.

His lips find their path across your back and to your shoulder before he even realises it, it’s a trail he’s committed to memory by now. Large hands grasping the meat of your hip, keeping you pulled back against him. You’ve said it before ‘take me as you want me, Javi’ but still he lets out a held breath when you stir and murmur, eyes fluttering open as his lips make contact with your neck and nip ever so. He likes you asleep, all sighs and softest breaths, but he loves you on the cusp of awake even more - soft and pliant and so sweetly giving.

“Mm…Javi…” You moan a sweet little sound out, pushing back slowly but more purposefully and his cock stiffens more, aching throb of it rutting gently against your backside now.

“Shh. I’ve got you baby” Javier murmurs as his lips skim your warming skin, delving to that precious place where your shoulder meets your neck. Always makes you shudder when his mustache tickles there and this time is no different even with your eyes still closed, barely out of your dreamworld.

Fuck, your scent as he breathes you in is intoxicating. Makes him forget everything except you, every time. It makes his hard-on throb almost painfully so he’s pushing harder against you. 

“Feel what you do to me, angel? Even when you’re sleeping…prettiest little thing in the world for me” He whispers low in your ear, deep rumble of a voice vibrating down to your core. Oh god, you whimper and tremble as you struggle to piece together the real world and your dreams. Is it your Javier, manhandling your thighs open, slotting his own thick one between them? Or is that your dream Javier, pulsing against you as his fingers trace the front of your underwear? Whichever it is you know even in your state of reverie you’re warm and wet and ready for him, as always, cunt fluttering in anticipation.

His hardness grinds desperately against your ass now, as his fingers delve into your underwear and find you slick. The groan he lets out is sinful, hot breath against your ear making you mewl in want

“Fuck” Javi grunts, planting kiss after kiss across the expanse of your shoulders and upper back, thick finger swiping across your clit to feel it twitching.

“Woke her up, didn’t I baby? Woke that pretty pussy right up”

Your body shivers in pleasure at his words, a rush of heat coiling tight in you as his fingers swirl circles over your sensitive clit. Your lids are heavy with sleep, still recovering from the sudden awakening, but he’s right, the rest of you is wide awake and burning for him.

“Y-yeah” You sob needily, arching your back so your ass is pushed further against him now as he continues to rut.

“Please, Javi. Need you. Need it…” Your whine makes his heart thrum with desire, with love, with want beyond anything. He only sees you, only feels you, only cares about you. 

“Shh, shh, pretty girl” He whispers back, lips and teeth against the shell of your ear still. He uses his big hand to tilt your hips, adjust your position just so, and then he’s flexing his thigh and…oh…a spark lights inside you as he holds you by the hip and encourages you to move them.

“Woke me up, just to tease me” You’re all pouts and sighs, tilting your head to look up at him. 

“Oh, poor thing” Javi laughs softly. His hands guide your hips to keep moving, his dark eyes gazing lovingly up into your still-sleepy ones. The roughness of the fabric of your underwear plus the flexing, muscular expanse of his thigh beneath continually catching your clit makes you gasp softly, and then louder and louder.

“Come on angel, get yourself off on me. You can do it, just for me”

Your mouth hangs open, eyes closed as you focus in on the two simultaneous feelings; his erection still pushing hard against your ass every time you move back, and the grind of your pussy against his leg. You’re a vision to him. A beautiful thing, angel come to rid him of his fears and worries. Fallen, just how he likes it.

“That's it, like that. Good girl” He encourages your every move, sinful and rough voice vibrating against your back as he nips at the back of your neck.

You breathe his name in beautiful sighs, he says yours like worship. The quiet of night interrupted by two people falling apart together, pieces to be picked when the sun rises.

You are the first to tumble, Javi makes sure of that. Your body tenses, a muffled wail into your pillow as he keeps you moving, makes sure you feel him all the way through your orgasm. He mutters filthy praise in your ear, as you soak through your panties, slick wet covering his thigh.

“Fuck, there it is. Perfect” He coos, fingers gripping your jaw to turn your head towards him, see those beautiful eyes look back at him, your fucked-out, tired expression is his favourite thing in the world right now. The only thing in the world.

“Mm” You sigh in to his mouth as his kisses you, taking your hand in his at the same time and bringing it down to his cock. So hard for you. Impossible not to want you, every moment you’re in his life. The brightest thing to ever grace him.

He guides your hand on his leaking length, slicking it up and wrapping your fingers around him, his hand around yours. He knows you're tired, he doesn’t mind helping you out. It won’t take long anyone, he’s already brought to the edge by the effects of feeling you fall apart on him.

When he comes, it’s with the rough kind of grunt that flickers new heat within you, lips finding yours as he spills on to your fingers, on to the sheets. Javi rests his forehead against your shoulder and moans, kissing your warm skin again. You feel the weak groan of your name and it makes you tremble.

All goes quiet apart from his heavy breaths for just a moment before you realise he’s taking your hand which is sticky with his warm spend, guiding it between your legs.

“Don’t wanna waste it, angel” He mumbles sleepily, encouraging your cum soaked fingers into your panties and the push of them against your entrance. Your lids are heavy too, but you don’t deny him, fingering his load into yourself with a lewd squelch that makes him moan again.

“Good girl” you hear him say, as he brings a strong arm over you and pulls you flush against his chest once more.

His breathing calms after a moment, a fresh sense of peace washing over him now. He’s always so tranquil in the moments after - the heady satisfaction saturating the air, blanketing you both in comfort. His mind is empty enough now, nothing but thoughts of you running through it, that he’ll sleep for a few hours.

You’re sure to be woken up again by him in the morning. You don’t mind one bit.

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am I at least weird and off putting in a pretty way?

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“he’s just a dude” and then I proceed to save almost 600 photos of him in one sitting

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AYO EDEBIRI — Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy for "The Bear" at the 81st Annual Golden Globe Awards (January 07, 2024)

#ayo edebiri #protomolequeue