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There’s a suffocation

beneath your surface;

the stillness of emptiness

has invaded and set in.

The anchor

keeping you in place

has lost its weight.

The breath

you breathe from your lungs

has frozen

without any heat from the sun.

Darkness

has become your friend,

Loneliness

that ache from a constant companion.

You starve

for when you’ll be you again,

you hunger

for feeling to return.

What else can you do

except float in purgatory?

Surrendering your last prayer

to keep the final flicker of hope

from burning out to ash,

only to disappear,

never to be seen again.

- If sadness were just a feeling, I would have purged it long ago. Really, it’s a monster, that grips and never lets go.

Inspired by the song Paralyzed by NF:

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Sometimes,

I feel like I’m drowning

and yet somehow,

with the force of a mountain,

with the will of fragile steel,

I push my way to the surface,

to sip

a precious breath of air,

only to lose my grip

once more

and fall

to the silent depths,

drowning again.

- Life, on repeat

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he had told me that I light up his world but he found someone that lit his universe

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #language #him

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After getting home today, I walked into my room and tore down everything that reminded me of him, this was just the beginning. rcf

#excerpt from a book i'll never write #over him #him

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This soul

is on fire,

whilst this body

is encased in ice.

Come burn

the stillness away,

I long with the urge

to feel again.

And as much as I fear it,

I fear the emptiness more,

this loneliness that has left me

to do nothing but mourn.

- Wishing for a sunrise, waiting in painful hope

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Mahmoud Darwish, tr. by Catherine Cobham, from “If I were someone else”, A River Dies of Thirst

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social distancing is okay for me bc ive been touched starved since the 15th century. im used to it.

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social distancing is okay for me bc ive been touched starved since the 15th century. im used to it.

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we could drop out school and just live in your dead auntie' s mansion in the countryside, not like lovers but not like normal friends, i mean, we could make out while drunk and cuddle but in a bromance way, and we could play the piano togheter and paint eachother, read books to eachother and swim naked in the mansion's lake, not like married people, just in love with eachother, in love with eachothers souls, peacefully going on day by day without planning things, ya know?

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whether you are

in the middle of a busy street,

three oceans apart

or a world away.

my heart still finds

it's way back to you.

— back to you // amaya

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Louise Glück, from “Blue Rotunda”, Averno