spazzyme

[spazzyme]

liane moriarty // apples never fall

[spazzyme]

It's Thanksgiving today. It's been 6 months and I haven't heard a word from you. I really didn't expect to, I didn't think you had the balls. I've kept my eye on you though and seen where mummy has financed you to go do things. How sweet. I bet you missed that.

Yet today of all fucking days I find myself missing you the most. I was never alone for the holidays because we were always together. Yet here I sit alone. I planned my own friendsgiving a different day. Hell I still need to make the apple pie but it doesn't really seem to matter.

What matters is I miss snuggling up to you at night. I miss the sound of your heartbeat when my head was on your chest. I miss the man I thought you were. The one you promised to be.

I miss when it was you and me.

The only thing I'm honestly thankful for is that I'm still breathing even when it hurts.

#personal #breakup #diaryposting #me #holidays #seasonal

[spazzyme]

Find a lover who says “I see your trauma, and I know you are so much more than your experiences.” That kind of love and support that helps you heal, grow, thrive.

[spazzyme]

Clementine Von Radics, from In A Dream You Saw A Way To Survive; “You are on the floor crying”

[Text ID: “And you have been / on the floor crying / for days. / And that is you / being brave. / That is you getting through it / as best you know how. / No one else can decide / What your tough looks like.”]

[spazzyme]

#personal #breakup #diaryposting #quotes #poetry

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Want to be a big titty green haired anime bitch tearing into a whole mutton leg at the medieval feasting table surrounded by rowdy men with huge arms who will not hurt me

[spazzyme]

The Lament for Icarus

1898

Artist : Herbert James Draper

[spazzyme]

#personal #breakup #quotes #tired #diaryposting

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Day 41

I wish I could say I'm doing better. I'm just doing the best I can. Floundering about and trying to make the best of it. Wondering if you think of me as much as I think of you?

The mornings are difficult. Waking up alone, getting dressed. Sitting on the edge of the bed and remembering how you used to sleepily rub my back if I woke you up.

Where did that man go? Just one day with your sister and he was gone. What the fuck did she say to you? Some bullshit positivity when she can't even find her own way. Maybe don't listen to someone who can't even make themselves happy. Maybe you didn't pick up on it but I felt how much she's lying to herself.

I hope in these days you've accomplished something. For all this talk the only thing you stopped doing was smoking as far as I know. Could have done that here.

Still playing video games quite a bit, has mommy not found you a job yet?

I really hope your happy. I hope you don't regret it.

#personal #breakup #diaryposting #i am angry #tired

[spazzyme]

𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟺, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟼 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹 [ID: July 4. What are you? I am miserable. END ID]

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[spazzyme]

“And if you’ve never felt your soul being torn apart, you’ve never loved anyone with all your heart.”

Unknown

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[spazzyme]

I thought I was your sunflower. Silly me.

#personal #breakup #diaryposting #quotes #poetry

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#personal #diaryposting #me #quotes #tired

[spazzyme]

#personal #diaryposting #me #quotes #poetry

[spazzyme]

#personal #diaryposting #breakup #quotes