speckeh

[speckeh]

Update

Hi all. I guess it was inevitable for this to happen, as it seems so common with most users. 

I do consider my tumblr dead. I no longer check it on my phone. I’ll keep my blog up for memories and the only time I’ll check it is on my main computer. 

There has been a lot of ups and down on this platform! 

If you ever need to contact me whether it’s just to keep in check or to ask about an rp feel free to use my email- [email protected] OR check me out on twitter under speckeh1 

Thanks for the wild ride and those who still use this site daily, man, you are stronger than me! 

Over and out! 

Speckeh

#bear talk

[speckeh]

TW: Covid-19 thoughts, personal rant 

I guess I’ve been too placent for some people in the wake of the coronavirus. Do you know how many people have reached out to me, warning ME that I’M a huge risk and what I should and should not do? Family and friends, who have known I’m an immunity risk, have not cared one bit about my health until now. I think it’s because now they realize, oh shit, you could actually impact my health negatively now, and that thought scares you. 

I’m also pissed off because a dear friend of mine seems to be fucking spiraling and I do feel very much used by them this last week. I mentioned to them how I’m going to be with my girlfriend this week (at a hotel, where we will be watching movies and cooking food), and maybe I shouldn’t have said anything, but now i’m getting passive-aggressive messages from them about how I’m not taking this seriously. That my “social-distancing” didn’t last very long. 

Also when I talk about the future, they’re suddenly extremely dismissive. Saying how their job and things they love is selfish with so many people dying. I agree, fuck of course I do. But I’m also a survivor of self-sacrificing myself until my body literally exploded on me. I self-sacrificed so much last week that I had some many PTSD episodes that I can’t even really remember last week at all. And I’m the one whose selfish, for wanting to see my girlfriend (whom I only see on the WEEKENDS BECAUSE WE’RE GROWN ASS ADULTS) and wanting to continue on with my education. 

I stood by them, I sent letters for them, picked up food, took care of their kids way more than any “friend” really should, and I was taken advantage of 100000%. Now I’m mad, hurt, confused, wondering why they suddenly just fucking flipped on me. (They’ve ben flipping on me for a few weeks now, but it feels like the last straw. Also I don’t like all this passive-aggressive behavior.)

 I’m also worried I shot myself in the goddamn foot for a career at my college, even though this is the second time they’ve driven off my advisors in the program. So obviously, I don’t regret every decision I made. But I worry that my reputation has been harmed, especially now that they’ve lost a lot of power in the academic world. 

Anyways, the world is ending apparently, we’re not all going to die, and seeing my girlfriend once a week isn’t going to kill me. And if it does, what a fucking way to go am I right dudes? 

#bear talk #tw: covid 19 #tw: ptsd talk #tw: ranting #Hi it's been a long time hasn't it?

[speckeh]

everyday i wake up and plan on doing Things but then i just

#me today

[speckeh]

[speckeh]

From @myfosterkittens: “Have you ever seen a blind cat play fetch? Now you have! Meet Wally! He’s my foster kitty who was found living in a tree next to a busy road. He was born blind and suffering from a severe infection. He’s now healthy and happy and was recently adopted!” #catsofinstagram [source: http://ift.tt/2iJQ0J6 ]

[speckeh]

the vincent van gogh episode of doctor who but instead the doctor takes ts eliot to the premiere of the cats movie

[speckeh]

Finished! For a grand total of 146 books this year. What??

My 2019 Garbage Book Dump

It’s 2019! I’m tired, I’m hella gay, and I’m still reading books as much as I can with my busy life! Enjoy this book list with reviews! 

Keep reading

#2019 books #bear talk

[speckeh]

Still this!!! Graduate next week!

To my RP friends!!

I’m alive!!!! I’m just swamped with preparing for graduation and projects!!!

[speckeh]

this was the best 12 seconds of my life

[speckeh]

[speckeh]

TBH I just want a buzz cut all of a sudden because my hair is so thick but Idk if I’m ready for that level of powerful butch

#i did it

[speckeh]

To my RP friends!!

I’m alive!!!! I’m just swamped with preparing for graduation and projects!!!

#bear talk

[speckeh]

sorry i’ve been catfishing you guys I actually look like this:

[speckeh]

dobby was only there in the lord of the rings to cockblock sam and frodo. whenever it looked like frodo was about to shoot his shot dobby was just like whats is potatoses master

[speckeh]

Just because you’re useful to the wealthy doesn’t mean they’ll reward you. It just means they’ll use you.

M.T. Anderson & Eugene Yelchin, The Assassination of Brangwain Spurge (via yetanotherramblingfangirl)

[speckeh]

My 2019 Garbage Book Dump

It’s 2019! I’m tired, I’m hella gay, and I’m still reading books as much as I can with my busy life! Enjoy this book list with reviews! 

Keep reading

#2019 books #update alert!!! #through the woods #dancing with mr darcy #the night diary #we contain multitudes #lovely war #The Assassination of Brangwain Spurge

[speckeh]

My 2019 Garbage Book Dump

It’s 2019! I’m tired, I’m hella gay, and I’m still reading books as much as I can with my busy life! Enjoy this book list with reviews! 

Keep reading

#bear talk #2019 books #how the fuck did I get over 100 books this year???