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springalwayscomes · 6 months

Text

Sweet Night

Plot: Taehyung may be one of the purest creatures in the world. Heart as clear as the waters of the Pearly Waters, he only knows how to love, he doesn’t make any exceptions nor differences; his soul cannot love one thing more or less than the other. That’s how angels are made. Nevertheless, how can it be that his eyes seem to linger on your rosy cheeks too much and his fingers tingle to reach for you? When did his heart start to clench at the thought of you?

Pairing: Angel Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Wordcount: 48k

Content Warning: Existential crisis, pining, major injuries, Taehyung is unexperienced, blow job, love making

Author's Note: This took me so long, I started writing it around February in 2021, and I didn’t think it would take this much for me to finish it, but I’ve made it. While writing this I had the chance to visit Venice and Istanbul, I edited a bit of it during my stay in Seoul in October too, and every time I thought that my stay there would be the perfect place to finish it, but every time I would just end up writing a piece of it, in every place I’ve been. I like to think that this piece contains all the cities I’ve visited while I was in the process of making it, and also a bit of myself in the last two years. I loved listening to Taehyung’s songs while writing this, the lyrics of his songs inspired me a lot, and going on through the story you will be able to see that I loved creating connections with his lyrics. I hope you will like it, it’s a work that took me a lot of effort but I loved every minute of it.

Also, I have to say that I couldn’t wait anymore to post it, because sadly or luckily, I can’t seem to start a new piece and give it my best if I have one that it’s not finished, so it was kind of blocking me too a bit, I’m glad it’s finally out. Let me know your thoughts about it!☺️ Happy new year again💜

On my pillow

Can't get me tired

Sharing my fragile truth

That I still hope the door is open

It’s midnight, dark sky and lonely streets. The air is still, light and empty. A normal person wouldn’t see it, in fact she doesn’t. But Jungkook does. He sees beside her white hair, what is happening in the air, just above the empty pillow at her side. It’s one of those shows you only get to see once in a lifetime, if you’re lucky. It doesn’t happen often for energy in another space to be this strong and loud, to manifest itself like this, in a total different universe.

He must have loved her a lot, he thinks. The beautiful white sparkles are only visible for his eyes, a clear sign of what is happening in another world.

But the door is closed now, and there’s no way to get back.

Cause the window

Opened one time with you and me

Now my forever's falling down

Wondering if you'd want me now

Taehyung never felt attracted to someone in his entire life. Never. It’s not in his nature. Creatures like him don’t fall in love, they were born in love and they love everything the same. He was born in love with anything, from light to air, to fire, to rivers. Even the wind is the muse of his endless love, even the leaves of those odd trees belonging to the Earth, the ones that seem to cry for the whole day. He remembers he once asked himself how would it be to look like them, always sad and gloomy.

Creatures like him cannot love more than they already do, it’s impossible. It’s not predictable, it’s not written in the stars. They are naive, in the best side of the word. They just know the good, they just do good. Their love for everything is always at its peak.

Taehyung fell from the stars. Or at least that’s what he tells himself. He doesn’t remember it, he simply can’t. His memories about his departure and arrival have been erased the very first moment he took a step on Earth, it would be too dangerous for him to remember how he got here, how he could go back to Heaven or simply come back to Earth.

That is the very meaning behind his clothes, his wingless body, his shoes. If he thinks of how uncomfortable the jeans he’s wearing are he can’t help but huff. Flying around naked was far way better than this endless walking and all of this useless clothes. Why do humans care about things like these? They all have the same bodies after all. What’s that big thing about showing it? His feet are hurting, wrapped by the shoes in such a little space that his fingers are almost cramping. They must’ve given him the wrong size in Heaven. He needs new shoes, he can’t live on Earth like this; he’s going to have bruises. Oh, how good it was to never feel physical pain, all he needed there was just a little bit of love to recover from anything. A little sparkle of something positive, right and pure from Earth and all of his problems would go away.

He turns to his right. The frame he casts in the glass of the shop almost makes him take a second look to make sure, but he refuses. It’s him. It’s just different, he is different. He’s never seen himself dressed, let alone without his wings. The favorite part of himself, what he was used to recognize as his. They are the very first thing that used to matter to him - about himself - in Heaven. He used to take good care of them, keep them clean and soft, they were his favorite spot to be caressed to, the one that his friends used to always compliment him about. Other than that, Taehyung didn’t really think to look good.

There was an angel in Heaven, he remembers him clearly.

Seokjin, was his name. He was beautiful, really beautiful. Ethereal beauty, reddish cheeks, slender eyes, the lightest skin he’s ever seen - after the one of Yoongi, an angel that is now on Earth too, too bad he doesn’t know where and who he’s looking after -. Seokjin’s wings were the biggest he’s ever seen, the most clean, the purest. He still remembers how he would hold his breath every time he would talk to him, his cheeks blushing and his voice trembling. He used to make him feel a little self conscious. At least he had his wings.

Now, at their place lays nothing. Empty skin, empty back covered by layers of clothes.

He continues his walk, trying to remember the informations the oldest angels had told him in Heaven.

“Your instinct will find your person and guide you”, they had told him, “close your eyes and keep your mind empty, you are joined together by fate”.

Taehyung does as they told him, eyelids lowering and mind immediately going blank. It takes him a few moments but then he hears it... the sound of- what is it? Something rustling, it sounds like paper? Pages, pages turning. He just has to follow the sound, right? He opens his eyes again, startled by the sudden light of the sun that only brings tears to his dark eyes. He’s still not used to it. He tries to keep his mind empty as he starts walking back down the street, the sound closer and closer with every step he takes. He only hopes to not be that distant, or else his feet will definitely have bruises by the time he gets there.

Twenty minutes pass, the sound he has been grown used to stops and only leaves him in a lonely silence. His angel nature grimaces for a second, already grown attached to the sound, whatever it was. It wasn’t the sound itself, it was the feeling he felt in his chest for the whole time. The feeling of that red thread connecting him with his person getting shorter and shorter with each step, the beautiful warmth of knowing that he was getting closer. Now, lonely silence is all there is left.

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo»

He trips over his own feet, his body falling forward and his hands immediately flying to cover his face from any injury, as if he was already used to mundane life.

The moment he’s down on the ground, the sound becomes even clearer. Sweet melody, sweet tone, sweet voice. There is something nostalgic and at the same time very familiar about it and it makes him stay still on the ground. People walk beside him and give him weird looks, some stop, wondering if he’s okay and getting closer to help him, but all he can listen to it’s that melodic sound, always repeating the same melody.

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo»

Taehyung gets up in a second, kindly smiles and bows to the three persons who approached him to ask him if he was okay and suddenly starts running. He knows where to go.

The whiff of tea can be smelled even from the entrance, or maybe it’s just his guardian angel instinct that guides him. The melody stopped after a few moments he started running, but he was left with sounds of something scratching against something else - maybe a pen writing on paper -, slow steps from time to time, low hums. On Earth it’s almost 10 pm when he finally gets there. He’s never been here, after all he has never been in this galaxy before today, let alone here, but something inside him tells him that this is the right place.

He should understand when to stop too, right? The human he’s been assigned to shouldn’t see him, it’s the rule. Of course, he tells himself. He will stop once he will find who he’s looking for and makes sure that whoever it is won’t see him.

He pushes the big wooden door open, it creaks and his face contracts in a scowl, afraid of having been caught already he thinks of running away almost. He carefully takes a look inside and the sudden feeling of relief that fills him is inexplicable. He never liked the dark, but now-

«Who’s there?» calls out a voice.

Taehyung feels his heart in his throat. It’s a woman. He’s been assigned to a woman. He can feel the urge to find something, someone, slowly dying out, as if he just found inner peace. The part of him who just needed to listen to his nature, the one who desperately screamed and was ravenous to find you, feels as calm as if he just took a bath in the Pearly Waters, his favorite river back at home. The other part of him, which he cannot really manage to describe right now, is just trying to stay as still as possible and not to breathe.

«Who is there?» the voice calls out again, this time spelling the words clearly and raising in the air as if it were as light as a feather.

Taehyung just hopes that you will stop looking for him, if you will do that then he will be able to open the door as fast as he can and run away to hide, just close enough to not lose you but far enough to not be seen.

A few moments pass, made of solemn silence that only leads his cheeks to a reddish shade for holding his breath for so long, all of his body tingling as he longs for movement.

And then, he hears it again:

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo»

Hearing it from so close it’s different. It’s as if his heart his dancing to it, the melody that just filled the air makes his hair stand on edge. It’s almost melancholic the sound you emit, the way your voice expresses just a meaningless hum with such deep feelings makes him want to see your face out of curiosity.

«How can I do it?» you whisper, ticking the paper on your lap with the back of the pen. Taehyung wonders why you’re in the dark, but he guesses he will have time to find out. Now he just needs to stay quiet without suffocating.

You don’t seem to be looking for someone anymore, and this would probably be the best moment to carry out his plan, but the thought doesn’t even manifest in his mind. His attention his all drawn to you, eyes glistening and flickering in the dark to catch the slightest shadow of your frame. You shouldn’t be too far from him, maybe just a few steps. He’d probably bump into you if he’d took three, maybe four. How tall are you? What type of mundane clothes are you wearing? He saw so many different types just by walking here. He was so focused on finding you that he actually didn’t notice all he was surrounded by. For all his life, he had been told about Earth, hearing stories and fairies, things humans call phones and social, celebrities and VIPs. That really confused him, what’s the difference between the two? Aren’t those the same thing? Anyway, he’s always been quite curious to learn about this planet, how people live, how they think, how they act. In Heaven, everything is simple. Angels, weather guardians, newborns or superiors, even the divinities, they act the way they think, and they live happily because of that. But he’s been told that here most of the people are sad because they don’t do the same.

“There is no melody that connects the notes of the thoughts and the ones of the actions sometimes” had once told him Yoongi as they were flying calmly. His brother had just come back from his first assignment and told him everything he could about what he learnt. Being totally in love with music, Yoongi had turned the concept and made it his by reviewing some parts. And somehow, Taehyung found it even easier to learn.

He was in such a rush before that he didn’t really notice how the cars were honking just a few steps away from him, how some women would wear different shoes from the men, higher.

An huff escapes from your lips and it makes Taehyung stiff against the wooden door. You’re frustrated, he can sense it, he can feel it. He’d just ask you what is happening if it wasn’t for his duties. You must not see him.

He stays silent, but the curiosity eats him alive. Why are you all alone in the dark? He keeps on asking himself. Are you seated or standing? It’s pitch black and he really can’t see a thing. Why are you frustrated?

His mind tries to answer all of his questions, but the truth is that they will come only with time. He’s not good at mundane age, so he just leaves it apart, but he likes to think of your face. He pictures a beautiful woman, reddish cheeks and tongue slightly sticking out as in his fantasy you focus on writing on the papers, producing the same sound he heard along the way. He pictures an artistic soul, and it’s weird, but he feels a little sparkle lighting up and immediately shutting down inside of him at the thought. He’s always been in love with art.

Outside it’s as dark as inside that room when Taehyung finally remembers himself he needs to go out before you do. About half an hour since he came in, you moved in the dark as if you already did it hundreds of times, and walked down the hallway - or that’s what he thought it was from the way your steps echoed. He had decided to stay here for his safety and yours, it would be too risky to follow you. You shouldn’t see him.

Taehyung takes a breath in and tries to move in the dark, stumbling as silent as he can he takes little steps towards the wooden door. His hands touch the lacquered surface and search for the handle, already thinking of his next move. He thinks of where he’s going to sleep tonight, the softness of his favorite cloud in Heaven long gone now. Houses in Heaven don’t look like mundane ones at all, angels sleep where they feel more comfortable; trees, clouds, straw.

First though, he needs to know your routine. In order to protect you, he has to make sure to know you, without really crossing paths with you. Your likes, the people you know, the places you hang out in. That’s what leads him to think he should use just a little bit of Pearly Clouds dust, now resting invisible amidst the strands of his hair. In the form of the tiniest, littlest specks of dust - a different dust from dust, and sand - sparkly, and luminous points of light that sometimes catch the light of the lamps as he walks outside. Made from the soft cotton of the clouds he used to sleep on and then dipped down into the Pearly Waters. They smell like roses and freedom, something that Taehyung has always smelled like. Taehyung has been eager to use it since the moment he took a step on Earth: just the thought of having his wings back is so tempting that he had to focus on something else, but now it feels like the right time. He can’t really get to know all of you in a day, but he can’t protect you if he’s somewhere else looking for a place to sleep, and he wouldn’t know when you’d need him the most since he doesn’t know your routines. He stops in place, a little smile already showing on his face.

Tonight he will sleep where he’s the most comfortable, on the clouds.

A quick look around is all that he needs before he quickly raises his hand and brings it to a strand of his soft dark locks. The slight sparkle of the Pearly Clouds dust catches the light of the lamp and shines on his skin, luminous and bright. Taehyung is already letting out a breath of relief at the the picture of his beautiful wings. He shakes his head. One, two, three times. It’s all that it takes for a little amount of dust to fall on his shoulders and then pass through the clothes, fluent as water but without leaving any traces behind.

The shirt he’s wearing will have to be changed, the wings that are now slowly growing out of his back are already stretching the material at its breaking point. He can already distinguish their feathers and the way the wind is blowing through them.

Tonight Taehyung won’t really sleep; too excited by the thought of having his wings back, being able to sleep on the clouds one more time, being on Earth and finally having to take care of someone. He waits for you to come out of the building you both were in, only now realizing that it should be what humans usually call a theatre. He follows you home, spending the first three hours of the dark night on your roof and sometimes glancing down at your window. He watches you as you get under the blankets, using your phone. He manages to take a look at your screen before he quickly hides on the roof again, you just shifted on the mattress. A dress, the number seventy under the picture of it. 70,000. What could it mean?

When Taehyung wakes up, the sky is welcoming the sun, exploding in vibrant and vivid colors that take his breath away. The orange mixes with the bright yellow almost effortlessly, the pink that follows remembers him of the colors of those flowers he used to pick up when he was just a boy, begonias. The soft cotton candy under him keeps his body at the right temperature, warm but not hot, fresh but not cold. It remembers him that he will have to forget about the comfort of the clouds for a long time and start sleeping like humans. How is it to sleep under the sheets? Are there even sheets that are as soft and comfortable as clouds?

He lets out a dreamy breath, still amazed by the view he’s facing. The sun seems so close, but he knows it’s far away. Still, he raises an hand and punches the bright circle in the middle, until the rays of sunshine cut the skin of his fingers as if the sun was about to explode. The gesture makes him smile, just like a child would do. He closes his eyes, trying to impress in his mind the feeling of warmth before he decides it’s time to get up. His wings are still there, closed and hanging down his body in all of their length, touching the clouds as if they were a cape. Feathers as white and soft as the cotton candy under his feet, Taehyung wishes they could keep him company during his time on Earth. He yawns, stretching out his arms and curling his back, his wings spread wide as they do the same. Magnificent and impressive, they could do envy to the most grand of volatiles.

His yawn is so cute that if he were back in Heaven Jimin would pinch his cheeks and kiss his nose, a gesture that they both are pretty attached to. Now that he thinks about it, he misses his friend.

He shakes his head. He has work to do, and he still has to cloud his teeth - as angels call it -. He squats down, studying the soft and puffy cloud he searches for a spot that will reveal itself as the one he prefers. Taehyung shakes his head and walks towards the edge, the houses and buildings can be seen under his feet and make his heart skip a beat as he takes in once again the fact he’s not in Heaven anymore. His eyes meet the edge of the cloud, they travel just a few steps inward and smile. He stoops down and pinches the cloud, light pressure to be sure not to make it dissolve but enough to break it and hold it in his hands. Then, he eats it. The flavor is the same as in Heaven, because after all they are the only part of it allowed to be in a different galaxy. Strawberries and sugar, the sweetest of flavors and his favorite of all.

Taehyung gulps, but there is really nothing left in his mouth, it’s just an habit of is. Clouds have taste and consistence just for a few moments, they dissolve themself once they are in an angel’s mouth, angels use them for the good breath they leave, just like humans use toothpaste; but clouds are more fun.

Taehyung has stared at your window for half an hour before you woke up. The weird high-pitched sound of a melody played already three times and you shut it down by tapping on the screen of your phone with sleepy eyes and murmuring something he didn’t understand. By the time you wake up he has learnt that you desperately love arts, in general. You have plenty of books on your nightstand, as if having just two or three wasn’t good enough, a big colorful painting on the wall where your bed is located, an open scribbled book on your desk that he cannot really read from here. Maybe you’re a writer.

You groan when that shrill melody fills the room again, finally sitting up and yawning as if there’s no tomorrow. Taehyung smiles wide at the view. It’s something he’s pretty used to see but Yoongi once told him that humans tend to cover their mouths when they yawn. He feels a little bit more at home now. He watches you as you get up, stretch out and go to the bathroom. He waits for you and he starts to think that you probably fell asleep again just when you’re coming back in your room. Your hair are not messy and disheveled anymore, brushed and neat they frame your face perfectly. You look less sleepy too, more aware of your surroundings and your body you walk towards the wardrobe looking for something to wear. When your hands reach the hem of your shirt to take it off his cheeks burn like fire and are as red as a pepper. He should not watch this, humans cover theirselves because they don’t want to be seen right? He hides his face behind his hands.

An honk coming from the street makes him jolt and only now he seems to understand that he shouldn’t do what he’s doing. There is a reason why wings aren’t allowed here, and it’s pretty simple. Angels shouldn’t be identified. He can’t just fly around with his wings spread wide and hope for someone not to see them.

Taehyung huffs, flying to the ground and almost tripping on his own feet. The ground feels to hard under the soles of his too little shoes, it makes him pout like a baby, but he has no choice. He withdraws his wings, quickly and painlessly. It’s time to get used to this place, he says to himself.

Angels are fast learners, and Taehyung could easily be the fastest. By the time you came out of your house he learned more things about you then the people you know probably. You like to keep your garden clean, you take good care of your plants, green and vibrant even if the temperature is low and freezing. You like to feel good, the way you move on your high heels tells him it, you feel at your best when you look good for yourself. Taehyung tries not to look too much at the shoes you’re wearing; they remember him he’s still wearing his wrong sized sneakers, and he cannot cheat and fly today. Your heels tick the floor like a watch as you get to your car. Humans use them as if they were their wings, he thinks to himself. It takes him a few steps to realize that if you’re going to use it he’s going to have a rough time with following you: certainly, he can’t follow you in the car and hope that you won’t see him. He hopes with everything he has that you just have to take something from it, but luck isn’t by his side today. You seat and close the front door, already turning up the engine. When you get out of your park Taehyung is huffing and pouting like a baby, hoping that his instinct will guide him wherever you are going to be at.

It’s been two hours. Is it okay that he doesn’t know where you are? He doesn’t feel anything, he doesn’t know where to start looking. How funny, such a creature as him lost in a world like this. Taehyung took a walk in the streets, meeting the eyes of a few people and even smiling at them, without knowing he improved the day of one of them; for someone who’s feeling lost sometimes the smile of a stranger can work more than anyone could think.

He even stopped at a shop, he looked through the glass and found a pair of shoes he liked. He was almost about to go in, but then he noticed a little piece of paper hanging from one of the laces, so many numbers written on it. He didn’t know what they meant so he just kept going his way, walking down the street, now taking a look at all the glasses: almost everything had numbers assigned, wether hanging from the clothes or at the sides of the glasses.

He kicks a pebble. He should not be taking a walk now. He should study you in order to be able to protect you, but what can he do about it? He shouldn’t have used his Pearly Clouds dust yesterday, he could’ve just slept on a bench or on the grass of your garden, hidden behind that big tree maybe, and save it for today. He still has enough, but what if he’ll need it for something more serious? You could be in danger at some point and he could-

His bum is on the ground, and it certainly isn’t as soft as the clouds he used to fall on, not even the grass or the straw. This is hard, and it hurts. What-

«I’m sorry! Let me help you, I’m so sorry. I’m late and I wasn’t taking attention- sorry» it’s the voice of a man, apparently belonging to someone who cannot be older than maybe 28. His hair are dark, soft nose and hearty lips, shiny eyes under the sky of Seoul. Taehyung smiles at him from the ground, now shaking his head at the man who is reaching out his hand. The angel softly massages his butt with an hand, the other one accepting the help.

That’s when he sees it, something he saw you wear this morning, the exact same thing. A bracelet, grey and white with the acronym 서울 NL. Seoul NL, he repeats to himself.

«Don’t worry,» he smiles at the stranger again «what are you late for?»

There’s something in Taehyung’s features that makes the man stop all of his hurried thoughts for a moment; maybe it’s the childishness in his question, maybe his deep and curious eyes.

«Work, I was-»

«Oh, work! Can I come with you?»

He doesn’t even think about it twice, he doesn’t think that such a genuine and pure question would sound odd or look bad in this world. Taehyung just wishes to find you.

«How- Why? My work?» the man raises his eyebrows, stiffing in front of him. He tries to study the angel, from the way he’s dressed to the way he stands and looks at him. Maybe his question his weird, but there’s something inside him that tells him that he couldn’t hurt a fly, not even if he wanted.

«I need to go there anyway» Taehyung clears his throat, trying his best to look confident. Lies are not angels’ strong suit. The man’s eyebrows reach an even higher point on his forehead.

«How- You know where I work?»

«I- I saw your bracelet» he answers. Only then the man seems to loosen up more, his lips stretching out in a smile, visibly more at ease. Taehyung doesn’t really scare him but it’s still weird to be asked of something like that.

«Oh, alright? Follow me» he nods, already walking his way to work. Taehyung stands still for a second, eyes big and shiny as he finally realizes that maybe he will be able to carry on his work.

«What do you need, anyway?» the man asks again. Only then he realizes he has to follow him, running and grimacing at the pain of his feet in those uncomfortable shoes. It’s the moment he sides him, the man looks at him for an answer and he huffs to himself for being so unwitting of Earth.

«Shoes?» he hopes it’s the right answer. Taehyung keeps his gaze fixed on the street in front of him as they continue walking, the laughter of the man beside him breaking the silence.

«We don’t sell shoes at the library, dummy!»

Taehyung already learned a lot of things. He learned the man’s name is Hoseok, Jung Hoseok. He’s 28 and he was born in Gwangju, he’s a vibrant person. He likes to talk and he enjoys company, he’s good at socializing. He works in a library and he loves his job. Oh, and he has a hyung - more for later coming -.

He learned about the weather, apparently on Earth it rains. Water falls from the sky and Taehyung can’t really understand why Hoseok is using a weird object made of cloth - and iron? - to cover his head. He likes water, he doesn’t want to cover, what is the matter of avoiding it? So he just follows him, shaking his head when the man tries to welcome him under his umbrella, that’s how he called it. He likes to avoid the puddles and jump on the damp ground, he admires the circles that every drop softly draws in the stagnant water.

He learned that people on Earth look at you with emotions in their eyes he cannot discern. They look at the children that jump from a place to another but don’t look at him in the same way when he does the same. Only Hoseok doesn’t glance, he just smiled when he saw him doing it for the first time.

He also learned that people here apparently address each other with so many names, but he only remembers some: hyung and unnie. Hoseok talked about his hyung and mentioned an unnie, but he wasn’t talking about himself apparently. Taehyung already forgot the whole thing, he’s taking in too many informations.

Anyway, they finally arrive. 서울 National Library written in big letters on the face of the building, Taehyung’s breath gets stuck in his lungs. The glasses don’t hinder the view at all: majestic shelves that reach the ceiling display hundreds, thousands - maybe even billions, he thinks - of books. They seem to be of all kinds; colored, thick, thin, old, new, all containing different things. Just like people, he thinks. He saw so many different people only by coming here, maybe if humans are like books he could learn more about this place by reading some of them.

«Alright, it was nice to meet you, Taehyung.» Hoseok bows at him.

«I should get to work now, if you need help feel free to let me know»

Now that Hoseok is gone Taehyung feels a little bit more relaxed, he doesn’t need to hold back his expressions anymore when he meets something new for him. Wether it being a picture hanging on the wall or the colorful cover of a book. He’s just like a baby, with the difference that babies don’t really notice such ordinary things as pictures, they are used to them.

His face changes even more when he turns a corner and finds you ordering the books on the shelves. He’s facing your back but he recognizes you anyway, and he finally feels proud of himself. He was starting to feel helpless this morning, he was even questioning himself, did the superiors had made the right choice by choosing him, maybe he wasn’t ready? Now he can say that at least he knows where you work, a big step. Sometimes he used to hear guardian angels talk about what happened to their humans at their work place, knowing where you spend most of your time makes him feel more secure. He nods to himself. All he has to do now is waiting and see when your shift ends, he could take a look around in the meantime. He’s about to turn when he hears your voice: «Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo»

It’s always the same melody, always the same notes. It must be really stuck in your head, he thinks. He watches you as you lift your arm and fix a book on the shelve, making room for a new stack by removing some of the others. He pictures you pout in concentration and even though he’s not sure if that is one of your habits, he still thinks it would look cute. He tries to memorize the way you like to dress, taking in every cloth and imprinting it in the back of his mind. A book falls from your hands and goes straight to the ground. He’s about to help you when he remembers he cannot interact with you. He just can’t, so he quickly walks away, not too far but not even too close. That’s the right distance.

Taehyung is still stuck in place, second bookshelf and eyes fixated on a book he almost finished. It’s interesting, with all of those drawings and colors. He doesn’t know who draw them on the book but they’re so magnetic and deep that he doesn’t mind it. He read fifty pages and he still finds it as interesting as in page one.

«Namjoon seonbaenim, my shift has ended for today» your voice instantly makes him close the book with a dull sound. Taehyung squeezes his eyes and mentally scolds himself, if it wasn’t for your voice he probably wouldn’t have noticed you were going to leave soon. He still has to get used to having to look after someone.

«Alright, come here» Namjoon smiles at you, a big smile. Two dimples appear on his cheeks as you approach him behind the counter, his hands hiding behind it as he roommates in one of the drawers.

«Payday,» he hands you a white little bag «have a good afternoon»

Taehyung cannot discern more than what he already heard, too far away from you. He watches as the both of you hug each other, your smiles tell him that you’re not just coworkers but also friends. And from the way Namjoon looks at you, maybe he wishes for more. It makes Taehyung pout again; do you know that he has feelings for you? It’s sad when love is unrequited.

Namjoon looks at you just like him: from far away. And his eyes don’t leave you until you’re out of the building in your coat and with your purse on your shoulder.

Taehyung follows you outside a few seconds later, trying as much as he can to go unnoticed. He’s always a few meters away from you, he stops when he sees you halt in front of the glasses of the shops and he walks again every time you shake your head and start back on your tracks. He wonders where is your car, but the answer comes to him a second later: you’re not going home. In fact, you stop again in front of another glass, keep your gaze locked on something he cannot discern from this far away and nod to yourself before entering. Taehyung raises his eyebrows, now more curious than ever.

He walks towards the glass, it takes him only a few steps to understand this is a music shop. They sell guitars, pianos, violins, any kind of instrument. The black numbers written on the paper at the side of the window are not missing here too and he huffs and boots a pebble; he cannot understand how Earth works. His eyes search for you, your figure moves after the one of the employee, following him as he shows you instruments that have your eyes sparkling, Taehyung can see them from where he’s standing. Then, you point to one of them and the man nods.

Taehyung watches you as you get to the booth, opening your bag and then bringing out a little bag - really little -. It takes the man a bit of time to get to the counter, but when he finally faces you again there is a white box in his hands, and this one is pretty big. He places it in front of you, and it’s all it takes for you to open the tiny object in your hands, handing him some pieces of - paper? -

The man in turn gives you another piece of paper - a white one, Taehyung notices - with others that have different colors. What is the meaning behind all of that? He doesn’t understand it again, and he feels frustrated. Earth is so much more complicated than it seems, that’s for sure.

You’re singing that melody again, and Taehyung doesn’t know why but he smiles at the sound. It’s just magical, he can’t help it. He has looked at you for the whole day, and only now he’s noticing the love you have in your eyes when you sing, even if it’s just meaningless words, he can see in your irises the same sparkle he saw when you looked at that instrument today. That box is still on your desk, left untouched and closed as you doodle something on a book, almost looking frustrated. You puff a second later, closing the book and getting up from your bed to get to the desk. Your hands place on the wood, staring at the white case for a few seconds before you finally touch it. Your fingers touch the cloth with admiration and Taehyung gulps as he sits down on the grass of your garden, just behind that big tree. You won’t see him from your room.

The box is being opened, and what’s inside makes the angel’s mouth hang open, so much that it almost hits the ground. A saxophone.

Taehyung doesn’t know why, but he feels suddenly closer to you. He knows you a little bit more today, he thinks.

The days go by: Taehyung sleeps in your garden every night, hiding behind the big tree and curling in a little ball to warm himself. During the day he usually follows you to make sure you’re safe. He learned more things but he still feels unwitting. Earth is so different from Heaven. He misses the flavor of the clouds, his wings and walking around naked. Honestly, the more time he spends with clothes on, the more he wishes to take them off. Though he can’t look only at the bad sides, he can’t say he’s totally lost. He learned your routine: you wake up everyday at seven, your shift starts at eight and it takes you half an hour to get ready. You don’t have breakfast, you just go straight to the door once you’re ready and head to your car. The ride from your house to the library usually takes you from twenty minutes to thirty depending by the traffic and once you’re there you work until lunch time. Then, your shift would end and you would go back home to have lunch. During the afternoon you would usually stay at home, once you went out with Namjoon and went to the cinema. Taehyung had to stay outside because he didn’t know how to enter. All those little colourful papers that you were exchanging with the employees were making him go crazy, he couldn’t really understand the meaning behind them; he just thought that since he didn’t have them he couldn’t go in. You like to sing, so much. He would hear you sing every night in the shower, sometimes you’d sing that melody for hours. Still, he has never gotten tired. He loves to hear you. Your voice somehow makes him feel calm, that melody hides a melancholic sentiment that makes his insides melt and freeze all at once, every time he listens to it.

He is doing a good job, after all. He wonders if there’s someone, anyone, he could talk to, ask things. Do all of the angels sleep in their human’s garden? Do all of them wear tight shoes? Is this the way he’s supposed to do all of this? Those are the questions that are striking through his mind these days. Those and and a growing affection towards his human, towards you. He has gotten used to the way you smile, to the sound of your laughter. He likes to count the sparkles that the lights reflect in your eyes when you look up at the shelves full of books. He never heard you play the saxophone, but he would love to hear you. He sometimes falls asleep with the melody you’re used to sing playing over and over again in his mind, just like a lullaby.

Today, something is different though. You didn’t go to work this morning and you spent the whole day writing on that book, taking it from a room to another as you moved in the house. Taehyung can feel your frustration even through the glasses of your widows, he can see it in the way you pout staring at the book in your hands.

You let the book fall onto your mattress and get up, the rays of the sun hit your skin and at Taehyung’s eyes you look even more beautiful than usual. Your eyes are a few shades lighter now that the sun hits them and your skin looks even more ethereal, you remind him of a mermaid. The ones that live in the depths of the Pearly Waters. He watches you as you walk to your bathroom and close the door. The time that passes is pretty long and he distracts himself by counting the flowers in your garden, looking at the sky he wonders what his friends are doing right now.

When you come out, Taehyung can notice that you’re wearing makeup and your hair are different from before, falling in soft waves on your shoulders they frame your face perfectly.

He blushes once more when your hands reach the hem of your shirt to take it off and he immediately looks away, people don’t like to be seen naked on Earth. Why, he still hasn’t figured it out.

It’s just the matter of a few minutes and you’re opening your front door and rushing out of your house as if it just caught fire, with your purse on your shoulder and your eyes fixed on your car parked just on the other side of the street. Taehyung doesn’t know where you’re heading, and all he can do is think that he’s again many steps away from you. He watches you get in, turn the engine on and leave the way as if you were never there: all he can do is think. Maybe you’re going to work? Then why didn’t you go this morning? Maybe your shift changed. It could be that, but he’s not sure. Or maybe you’re going out with Namjoon again; you both didn’t say anything about it though yesterday. He raises his head looking at the blue sky, as if to wish for a hint. The rays of the sun makes him narrow his eyes, the light blinding him for a second as he wishes once more he could just use his wings. He’d fly up in the sky and your house would just become as tiny as a ant, it would just-

He widens his eyes. You left your window open. Maybe he should just go in and see if he can find an hint of where you’re going. He shakes his head. He can’t do it, angels don’t do things like that. But what if you’re in danger? It’s his duty to protect you, and how should he be able to do so if he doesn’t even know where you are? Taehyung takes a breath in, this time thinking of what Yoongi or Jimin would do, but he doesn’t have the answers. He’d never thought he would be doing something like this when he was in Heaven, but by living on Earth things take different perspectives. He’d never do it if- Just choose, he thinks.

He huffs. He can’t believe himself.

A few moments later he’s entering your room after climbing up the bricks of your wall, a whole new world swallowing him inside. It’s different from looking at it from outside, it feels different. He can smell your perfume, something he never noticed cause he never had the chance of standing close to you. It’s sweet, and in someway it exactly describes you and the things he learned about you. Other than see it from your books and the box containing the saxophone on your desk, he can smell it, he can sense it, your love for reading and music though your scent. Taehyung thinks he’s in an ocean. All of the things in this room have something to do with you and he can’t help but want to swim and understand more and more. Would it be alright? He is curious.

The color of your walls is just a small drop in your ocean, your pajama left undone on the bed it’s another one, just like the book you always carry around and write on. Taehyung likes it here, he feels closer to you. As if he could think of speaking to you like an actual option and not just a thought made by his tired imagination when he’s about to fall asleep, when he takes one last look at your window. He’d like to talk to you and not just stare, filling the silence with subtle perceptions of how you see the world. He’s always been curious, and sadly this doesn’t fit the role of an angel; not on Earth at least. Actions without reactions and naivety have to be long forgotten here; it’s taking him much more time than he’d thought he needed though.

Taehyung almost wants to laugh. He’s eternal and he always had thought that his forever could never be fuller of what it was already before coming to Earth. Angels are born in love: they love everything the same, in the good way, not as if they don’t find interest in anything. They find the world a magical place, see the beauty at its highest peak in everything, they are curious about everything, they look at everything with dreamy and naive eyes. He has never thought he’d feel more about something, cause he already feels so much, he already feels everything. He doesn’t know how to place the new feeling of curiosity in his chest, it’s too much too handle. Is he supposed to feel this way? Is it alright?

Taehyung waits until you come back. He didn’t find anything that could lead him to you, not where you were at least. He found a sparkle of something new, something more, though. Wether it is curiosity or other, he cannot quite distinguish it very well. It’s just the fact that it’s even more than more.

It’s dark when you park your car and Taehyung can see that something is off from the very first moment you open your car door. Your face gloomy and your shoulders slightly curled down, as if you were being crashed by the weight of the world. He wonders where the line ends; is he supposed to help you if you look so upset? Where does the line end and begin? What, who is really stopping him from helping you in a emotional situation rather than a physical one?

He shakes his head. It’s normal to have bad days here, he heard angels say it a billion of times.

He made sure to close your window when he got out of your room, he didn’t want you to feel cold when you’d come back. He makes sure that you cross the street safely, that you’re not crying when the light of the lamp lights up your face, cause there’s something inside him that is feeling different. He was alright before he saw you look so sad though. Now, it’s like someone just punched him on his chest. This is new too.

He makes sure you’re alright when you turn on the light of your bedroom, and he does the same once you come out of your bathroom before going to sleep, just as usual. You’re not crying, but there is definitely something wrong. Taehyung wishes for you to feel better tomorrow, he also wishes he could smile at you or hug you tight to give you some positivity, but that is definitely off the list.

He wishes you a good night as he gets comfortable behind your tree, but it’s not a good night for him. The weird feeling in his chest keeps echoing until he wakes up the next day, and he swears he could feel it even in his sleep. He wakes up three or four times to make sure you’re fine.

You woke up early this morning, not like yesterday. The sun is up and is shining at its brightest, the sky is clear and the birds are singing. Taehyung makes sure to take more care of you today: he checks your expressions more than usual, searching for just the slightest sign of sadness, he studies the way you walk or look at yourself in the mirror. What follows is always the same routine; you enter the bathroom and Taehyung sits again behind the place that has now become his.

You’re still upset, he can sense it even from here. He’s filling upset too, and he can’t understand why. The feeling of yesterday night was still there when he woke up this morning and it still is now, becoming even bigger and louder the more he waits and waits. It’s subtle, it creeps his way in slowly and in whispers, but once the space is all filled it will be hard to control it. He’s worried, he guesses. It’s so hard to distinguish, all the times he has felt negative emotions in his life wouldn’t be enough to lift all the fingers in one hand. He wishes he was a little wiser in these type of situations.

Your day goes on like usual: you go to work, your shift ends at lunch time and you come back home. You spend the rest of your day cleaning and reading, the box with the saxophone stays untouched on your desk even today. Taehyung is starting to wonder if it’s a gift for someone else. The thought makes him pout but he shakes it off. It’d be weird for him to think that he even guessed that wrong, the first thing that made him think of knowing you a little bit more.

You receive a call when you’re about to have dinner and Taehyung tries to guess who it could be but he doesn’t know what to think. Maybe some friend or Namjoon. He’s about to sit down once again behind your tree and welcome another lonely night that only knows how to steal glances at your window, when he hears the sound of your voice again, always singing the same melody. He’s grown attached to it by now, he sometimes dozes off as it echoes in his ears again and again. He looks at you again, but what he sees is different from what he’s expecting. You’re turning your light off and going out of your bedroom, a coat covering your shoulders and your purse in your hands.

It’s just the matter of a few seconds after that he hears you opening your front door. It’s pretty dark outside, and the moon is already shining in the night sky of Seoul. Where could you be going? He waits for you to cross the street and get to your car like always, already thinking of a way to follow you without having to use his wings. He knows that this time he has to do something; it’s too dark to let you go out without protection. Not that you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself if needed, but he has his duties to respect. With the light of the day he felt a little less pressured by leaving you alone, but this time he can’t ignore it. He has to find a way. Maybe it’s his lucky night though, you never got to your car.

The streets are lighted by the lamps, your shadow projected on the ground as you walk follows you even when you turn a corner and Taehyung keeps his eyes on it. It’s the only way he knows to understand what is happening, he can’t stand too close to you or you’ll end up seeing him, so when you take the left he just stares at that blackish frame. He can’t help but think that it’s frustrating, but he can’t do anything about it. Until you get to a pier, the cold, dark water reflecting the moon and letting out silenced sounds, maybe coming from the fishes insides. If he thought it was frustrating before, now it’s even worse. There is absolutely no one here, only you and him are standing in this empty place. And he feels extremely self conscious, knowing that even a breath gone wrong could end up with you seeing him. He tries to breathe as slow as he can as he stops in place behind a tree; it seems to be his favorite hideout when it comes to you.

He watches your back as you stare at the water almost asking her for answers, whispered questions that he’s desperate to witness and try to answer. Taehyung hopes that you will sit on the border and stay there, he couldn’t follow you easily if you’d start to walk again in this big and empty street. The shore looks almost magical captured by this fair light; if Taehyung only could he’d gladly sit with you and admire the night sky. He’d turn and admire your face too, since he didn’t really ever get the chance to see it up close. He’d close his eyes and listen to the waves, to the melody that is now coming out of your mouth. It’s always the same, you never add more or sing less. Taehyung today thinks that maybe it’s just a melody, born as one of those that you sing to your child to make him fall asleep. Maybe your mother or father used to sing it to you. He doesn’t even realize he really closed his eyes unconsciously until he hears the sound of footsteps, they wake him up from his haze and bring him back to consciousness and he leans out to take a better look.

You’re moving to the very shore, careful not to trip and fall over with every step you take. The light of the moon lights up your features and Taehyung’s eyes stay on your face for a bit before you bend down, the light of the moon seems to belong on your face. It’s almost magical the way it kisses every inch of your skin and makes it look even more ethereal than usually.

You untie the knot that’s keeping one of the wooden boats safe and tie the rope around one of the bridge’s legs. Taehyung wonders if you know what you’re doing. He hopes you know how to ride a boat, because if he has to be completely honest not even once in a lifetime he did it. And the thought of having to look after you when not even he himself knows what he’s doing frightens him just a little bit. The thought of letting you go and wait for you on the safe shore doesn’t even pass through his mind, he’d be far way too worried and if something’d happens he wouldn’t be able to do anything. So he takes a big breath.

He watches you get on the boat, moving the oars through the water without any issues or concerns. It slightly calms him down. He waits for you to reach a greater distance before he finally comes out of his hideout, now quickly walking to the bridge. Taehyung’s mind is blank as he chooses one of the boats, he only knows he has to get in the water as soon as possible. What if something happens just now that he isn’t with you? The water looks pretty calm but he repeats to himself he has duties to respect: he has to take care of you. Something inside him stings and it makes him scrunch his nose as he unties a boat from its cord, but he shakes the feeling off. His eyes stare at the wooden bench in the boat and he has to repeat to himself that he’s eternal to finally try to sit. He lifts his leg and insecurely overcomes the wall of the boat, one of his arms raised in the air to balance himself and the hand of the other grabbing at one of the high legs of the bridge as if it was his life. He can already feel all of his anxiety coming back. He doesn’t know anything about this. He doesn’t know how to oar, he doesn’t know how to move. In paradise boats don’t exist, he’s only seeing one up close now. The days spent with you brought him to your library more than he could ever admit, and he read The Little Marmaid and another book that talked about boats, but never once he thought that he’d ride one.

He takes another deep breath. He has to do this.

He doesn’t know how, but he manages to sit down without having water all over his clothes and to move forward just a bit. He’s glad that he choose the boat that was more far away from the others, or else he’s not sure he wouldn’t have hit them. The fact that he moved a little encourages him to keep going, hoping that his instinct will guide him not too far or too close to where you are. You’re still moving and that pushes him even farther: where you are the water his pitch-black under the night sky, not to talk about its depth too. His arms move the oars, muscles twitching as he puts all of his efforts into reaching you, as he does so though, his mind flies at the beautiful view he has in front of his eyes. Only you could lead him here without knowing how much he likes things like this, not that he can love this more than other things, but it still makes him lightheaded. The stars are just as little as specks of dust in the dark and the moon seems even bigger and brighter from here than behind that tree. Taehyung can’t help but think that all of this looks like one of those paintings he saw on that art book at your library on the second day. And you’re the central point of his attention. Even the sparkling stars or the low, gentle sound of the waves can’t distract him from staring at your back, not even the fact that he’s now closer than before. Maybe too close. He can hear your voice, and it’s just like a magic spell: it makes him want to be closer and closer. Your voice is soft, delicate as you once again let out the melody that has been visiting his dreams for nights now. Taehyung still has a lot of things to learn about this galaxy, this space, this world. Still, he feels like he learned them all now that he has you in front of him under this magical sky and in this endless sea. He feels full, like he just ate too much berries or as if he just drank this whole sea.

But he’s still thirsty in another way. It’s hard to describe for him; he never felt like this. The fullness of his chest could be described by happiness. As if you know that you’re so happy that you couldn’t wish for anything else, because you already have it all. But what if by asking, you could be even happier? And it’s just like that. Taehyung feels full of berries, of happiness, but he wishes it could never end. Which is something that he’s again not used to, this light hint of eagerness; it’s not like angels don’t know the feeling of being happy.

He’s thirsty for something else though, and he only realizes it now that he’s looking at your hair and he wishes he could caress them with his long fingers. You captivate him, more than anything else has ever done. You pique his interest, and everyday it’s just a new day of him trying to find out more, as if it will finally come the day that there will be no more to learn. Taehyung shakes his head. His cheeks are reddish as if he used too much Pearly Clouds dust, and he only now realizes that this is too much. All of this thoughts are like waves to his mind: slowly creeping their way in the sand of his ordinary. They make him fragile too; he doesn’t know what to think, he doesn’t know what to do with them. How could he know? They had creeped their way inside his mind so slowly that he didn’t even noticed the day he woke up feeling like this, so intrigued and drown towards you. And then there’s the way he’s looking at you right now, something he totally ignores but from outside, you can say it: totally lost. As if he just lost all the answers - because by now he actually did -, all the questions even. He’s stuck in the middle, and all he can do is stare at your back with eyes full but empty at the same time. For a second he reaches his hand out, it’s almost an unconscious gesture, his fingertip seems to touch your hair from his view and his heart throbs and his chest hurts. He doesn’t know what to think about it. He knows that he’d like to really touch your hair though. Being eternal doesn’t look as appealing as before now knowing that he could never actually reach out and touch you for real, for the rest of your life he will have to look at you from far away. And when you won’t be here anymore? Taehyung gulps at the thought. He’s just like a ship, he thinks. All of his thoughts are waves rushing through his mind and the way he moves with them and navigates through every single emotion just makes him more confused. Will there be a shore to reach?

He already reached it though, he’s already there. You’re the shore.

He just doesn’t know how to understand it yet.

All he knows right now it’s your voice, the way it sings to the sea, its waves almost serve as an instrument, softly playing in the background as you let out your emotions and mix them with the salt of the water, with the light of the moon, with the wind that is lowly whistling. Taehyung feels like he’s in a haze, completely stuck in place, lost in the way your hair delicately fly and make you look even more ethereal. He can’t see your face, but he likes to imagine that you have your eyes closed, lips moving slow as you hum. He feels thankful. He’s calm but at the same time he’s not, and it’s making him incredibly confused and slightly frustrated; but he still feels peaceful. There’s something about you that makes him feel completely in peace, happy and glad to be wherever you are, maybe you are just positive and it can reach him even through all of the space that separates you.

Taehyung comes out of his haze when you stretch your arms out and arch your back, now bringing a strand of hair behind your ear. His hands immediately grab the oars and only the movement makes a part of his pure heart cry.

He wishes he didn’t have to do that all the time, to run away. He wishes he could just stare at you or hear you hum without having to hide behind a tree or on a roof, he wishes he could just walk next to you without having to keep his eyes on your shadow when you take the corner, in fear that there might be another one right after, just in case you were too fast when you took the first one. And as he thinks all of that, his hands still on the oars but his mind stuck in those damn waves made of thoughts, he sees your face. It takes him some time to realize that he’s looking at you, at your skin under the moon, at the lips that were humming just a second ago. And the waves don’t stop, they just grow bigger.

He wishes he could just smile at you, raise his hand and wave, tell you how much he likes the reflection of the moon on the sea, that the smell of the ocean is going to be stuck on his worn out clothes for days because he doesn’t know how to wash them.

He doesn’t even register in the fact that if he can see your face then you definitely can see his, there’s only you and him in this deserted ocean. His mind is too further away to notice the bad in all of this, instead he perceives something else when you start to oar back to the shore, your boat coming closer and closer to his. As he watches you again, he has a picture in his mind: a ship, two ships.

Wouldn’t it be beautiful if he wasn’t the only ship going towards the shore? What if you could take that journey together and stay by the shore? He opened a door the very first moment he saw you, the very first moment his eyes laid on you. And now he’s feeling something he didn’t see coming, something that it’s not supposed to be here, he thinks. What is the meaning behind them, the reason behind his heart beating so fast all of a sudden at the view of you approaching closer.

He thinks he knows you better than he knows himself, because he can understand that again you’re looking frustrated but he doesn’t understand his mind.

Are you my friend? He thinks. It would be funny, hilarious, ironic. Right? To think of you as one when you don’t even know him.

This is all in his head, he thinks again.

It’s frustrating, how he cannot exactly place the day when he woke up feeling more, the day he started to feel like a ship riding the sea and wanting to reach the shore. Maybe when you left your window open and he decided to enter your room? No, he was already curious about you back then, you already had him in your hands.

He just wishes he could understand. For now, as you pass next to him with your boat and give him a little smile, he only can understand that you finally placed your eyes on him. On his face, on his hair, into his eyes, and it seems almost as if you took a look inside him too; he feels like he’s about to explode. Maybe it’s because this was never supposed to happen, not in this world, not in this galaxy and not even in a thousand others. He wonders what was he supposed to do, stay on the shore and wait for you? Stop you from coming? How do other angels deal with all of this? Will your exchange of look change something? How is he supposed to still hide in your garden after this? Maybe that’s more of a personal problem though, just the thought of going back to hiding after looking right through each other’s eyes sends him an odd punch in his chest. Still, he wouldn’t change it. It’s just like the picture in his mind: two ships meeting in the night. Two different worlds, a human and an ethereal figure meeting under the light of the moon and thousands of stars, the space and time don’t even count anymore in front of the simple moment you just shared together, so fast but incredibly meaningful for him and the universe.

One of the ships stays stuck in place though, not sure of where to go or how to call out for help whether it is from his world or yours. The ship can’t do anything else but stay still in the waves, the ones of its thoughts and the actual ones, watching as the light of the moon lights up your back once again. His mouth is open, his mind slowly taking in what just happened, low, meaningless worlds shouting and whispering at the same time inside his head. But he still doesn’t know what to do.

He watches you until you reach the shore and tie your boat back where it was, every inch you take towards the pier and getting away from him seems to light up more and more questions and insecurities inside him. The shore doesn’t look too far anymore now, but it’s cold during this night and Taehyung suddenly thinks about his eternal life. Is he really going to be a lonely ship forever? When you will die and he will have to live with the memories of his human, will he still see himself as a ship? Where will he be heading then? He just realized that he’s only riding the sea to get to you. To understand you, to know you better. When you won’t be here anymore, what will he do? The thought makes him pout. He has the features of a man, but he never looked more naive and little than now. Will forever hold this brief moment of him being stuck like this? This feeling? Because right now he feels like something just clicked and he won’t come back to his old self anymore, like there will be no coming back. He doesn’t like this feeling. But it mitigates the moment he looks at you. Maybe forever will be okay if he can spend it feeling slightly better just like right now, as he looks at you. His eternity seemed way more fun and less nostalgic and malinconic when he yet didn’t know you though. Now it almost seems as it only makes sense with you, and he perfectly knows that that is not supposed to happen. His forever feels sad now, it’s falling down.

How could I know?

One day I’d wake up feeling more

But I had already reached the shore

Guess we were ships in the night

The next day you come back to the sea, and the next one too, and the other. Taehyung keeps following you every night, but he forces himself to stay by the shore. If something happens, he keeps telling himself every night, he’d just have to use a bit of Pearly Clouds dust. It’s the only way to keep you safe without seeing him again, and it’s taking him all of his strength to stand by the pier without riding the first boat he finds. If something happened and he couldn’t reach you quickly enough he knows he’d feel lost for the rest of his forever; but his eyes lay on you and see you expertly oar, as if you already did this hundreds of times and he feels a little more calm, just the slightest.

Every night, he likes to wonder about a different thing. The first one, it was about your childhood. He imagined that your dad taught you how to ride, he imagined a younger version of that smile you gave him and wild hair flying with the wind as the sun kisses your face. He imagined your love for books started when you were still a child, he pictured you reading fairytales and dreaming of one day having a library as big as the one of The Beauty and The Beast. Yes, he read that story too, the Disney version. The library where you work is full of books like that, he wishes that all of the magic that happens in those pages could happen in real life too.

The next day he thought about the melody that you always sing - you are singing it even now but he can’t hear you standing by the shore -, he remembered the first time he heard you sing it. You were in that dark room, not a light on, he had to guess the features of your face too. He still can’t understand what you were doing all alone in the dark.

The day after, his feet were hurting so bad that he had to sit on the ground while waiting for you to come back; still with those tight shoes on sending him out of his mind. He saw some shops with other types but he still couldn’t get the meaning behind those numbers hanging on the tags of both clothes and shoes, so he just let it go once more. His mind went back to you once more then, thinking about everything and nothing.

Days pass like that, him still not understanding himself and all of his thoughts and you spending hours on that boat without him understanding why. Taehyung grows closer to you every single day, how ironic that you don’t know anything about it. Every day, his heart beats a little faster at the thought of those beautiful eyes that only once met his. Every day, you become more the center of his world. You’re becoming his home, his every day and his every night. Maybe these feelings are just a consequence of spending so much time with you. You are becoming his smile. When his feet hurts so bad that he goes back to wish of having his wings, his thoughts fly towards you. And he smiles, he smiles so bright and his lips shape just like a box. The pain seems to be overshadowed as he thinks that it is all for you. You make him happy and you don’t even know it. He smiles when you laugh and gets sad when you look frustrated or low, he probably won’t ever be sure about it, but he learned to understand every swing of your humor, even from behind the glass of your window and a tree standing between.

He knows you just like a best friend, he knows you as Jimin knows him. And that is the thought that makes him fidget with his fingers every night, the one that gets him stuck in place every time. He’s starting to believe it, otherwise he wouldn’t really know what is happening. Angels don’t know such things. As is already been said, angels are born in love. In love with the world, with the galaxies, with the rain, with the things that everyone hates. They all love everything as much as it’s possible, they know love at its greatest. And that is probably why Taehyung doesn’t know how to handle it when his heart beats even faster than usually and feels even warmer or alive when it comes to you.

Taehyung is not at his best today. He feels as if he had twelve feet and all of them were wearing tight shoes, thousands of wings but all broken. He’s not feeling good, in all honesty. And just the fact of feeling low is enough to make him feel even lower. He’s not used to this too, and he again doesn’t know how to handle it. There’s a part of him who just wants to cry and scream, let it all out. Then, there’s the other part who keeps showing a lucid mind and tells to himself that he just has to focus on something else. Even the book in his hands is not enough to to distract him, his figure hidden behind the shelves of the library as he keeps his dark eyes on the words.

He doesn’t even know the reason why he’s feeling so low, there are so many new emotions in his chest that he’s not able to discern them all at once, not to talk about the reason behind them. Maybe it’s because a part of him misses his home. He has always thought that angels are probably the happiest when they are with their humans, but do they all go through such deep emotions and question everything about themselves? All he knew until now has been put on a table and scanned, and more than half of the things have been dropped into a bin, revealing themselves as untrue. Maybe it’s not that they’re untrue, maybe it’s just him that is wrong? The thought has been stuck in his mind for a long time now but he never let it fully expand, afraid it might take over him. Is it okay that he feels like this? Like this, when he looks at you? Like this, when he hears you sing? Like this, that he wants to desperately caress your hair and warm your hands when on the way to the pier every night you blow on them? Would all of those things be alright for him? To pull you closer?

Taehyung still has the same image in his mind: two ships in the night, one stuck and one going toward the shore. He’s not sure of which one he is anymore though. Maybe he is both. Stuck in his waves, his thoughts, stuck with his emotions, unsure of what to and where to go, just trying to survive. The other one still reaching the shore anyway. And this time he knows that that shore is not just a shore; it’s you. Because in all of this time he’s been on Earth, all of this endless days - to which you humans gave seven different names that he still hasn’t learned, always restarting from the first one - every single step he took, every breath he breathed, every view he saw, every sleep he dazed off to, they were only destined to you. Wether it was because it’s his duty to look after you or because now he’d never want to stop being in your presence, everything was for you. So now he knows. He knows that he’s fond of you and knows that you have a part of him even if you don’t know. You are that shore.

He’s just like a baby. Babies can’t express themselves, they just cry and cry and cry. Taehyung can’t express his sadness, he just wishes he could cry for the whole day today and let it all out, hoping that tomorrow he will feel better, but it’s been some days since he keeps repeating the same thing to himself. The part that makes it worse it’s not knowing what he’s feeling, his thoughts not giving him a break. It would be much more easier without them. It’s inexplicable for him what is happening inside of him, and he just keeps thinking of you when he tries to explain it.

All of his thoughts come from the fondness he feels towards you, because he doesn’t know if comparing himself and you two to ships is alright, if wanting to pull you closer is okay, if wanting to warm you up in the cold streets of Seoul is something a guardian angel should wish to do with his human. And what if the answer is no? No, it’s not alright that he wishes to caress your hair, it’s not okay that he keeps thinking about that melody, he shouldn’t meet you in his dreams every night; or at least not with the feelings he feels.

«I’m wrong»

He closes the book with a dull sound, now quickly walking towards the exit of the library. He has to take a breath of fresh air, his mind is as dusty as the shelves in the back, the ones where no one ever goes.

«Taehyung?» it’s coming from behind him.

He doesn’t recognize the voice that’s calling him so he just lets it go as he comes out of the library, now meeting the positive rays of the sun. He always loved them, but now they feel to happy even for him, he wishes he could find a place as dark as the one you were in the first day he met you.

«Taehyung? I’m Hoseok!»

The angel stops in place, fidgeting with his fingers as he turns and meets the eyes of the man. Hoseok looks as bright as the sun, as happy as the free clouds and it makes him feel even more sad. He doesn’t want to show him he’s not feeling good, he’d just end up with making Hoseok feel the same as him. And he feels even more lonely in situations like this. In Heaven he could’ve just talked to Jimin or Yoongi, but here all he can do is talk to himself. Having someone beside when he’s feeling like this makes him worry, he should be careful of not talking too much.

«Are you okay? You seem sad» Hoseok smiles at him.

«I just ended my shift, we could go and have something for lunch if you want?»

How can he tell him that he doesn’t eat? All he needs is in the Pearly Clouds dust he has in the strands of his hair; as long as it’s there he’s fine.

«No, but thank you. I- I am okay. Are you okay too?» Taehyung has the feeling that those words sound to Hoseok as weird as they sound to him, but he shakes it off.

«I’m alright. Are you sure you don’t want to eat? Did something happen?»

«No, I said I’m okay» Tae gulps, his voice just trembled and he’s afraid he’s going to cry if he doesn’t stop talking.

«Oh...» Hoseok bites his lower lip, not sure of what to do. He wants to hug him because he can see that there’s clearly something going on but he doesn’t know how Taehyung would react.

«Do you want a hug?»

That is actually the only thing that could really help him. He missed the hugs of Jimin and Yoongi for so long but he’s not sure if this is the right thing to do.

Oh, fuck it, Hoseok thinks.

Taehyung’s lips are trembling so much that he thinks he will cry as loud as a five years old kid when he’ll get the chance to, and Hoseok is certainly not an insensitive person.

He pulls him closer and wraps his arms around him, tight and warm embrace pulling the trigger of all of his emotions. It takes him a second, just the feeling of being touched by someone who’s not him and Taehyung really breaks in a million of shatters.

He sobs on Hoseok’s shoulder, tears falling uncontrollably on his cheeks and nose running. Jimin and Yoongi who are watching him cry too, and all Taehyung can think about in this moment is that maybe he too needs a guardian angel. Someone who has his back when things start to fall and break around him, just like now, someone who brings him out of his own mind.

«It’s alright, let it all out» Hoseok pats his back, an hand stroking his head as if he already did it a million times. How ironic would it be if he knew the truth about him, a so great creature being consoled by a human, someone who thinks that angels are higher than them.

Taehyung wonders if that’s really the truth too. Is Heaven really heaven? Are angels really higher than humans? Because in all these days he felt more things than he ever felt in all of his life, and he doesn’t know if he feels more like an angel or a human anymore.

His heart is certainly not the one of an angel anymore, it beats so much faster when he thinks about you. Angels’ heart don’t do that, love is love everywhere and it’s all the same, they all love everything the same.

«Do you want to talk about it?»

Taehyung is sobbing so hard after so much time of holding back that if he doesn’t stop now he will probably start crying out loud just like newborn angels, so he repeats to himself what Hoseok said.

It’s alright. It’s okay. But he cannot talk about it, he can’t open his mouth or else he’ll break just like a dam and say things that will make it all worse.

So he just closes his mouth and tastes the taste of tears, salt and gloomy. He shakes his head, biting his lower lip as Hoseok still keeps him in his hold. Taehyung doesn’t part, he likes the feeling of the touch of someone else, it’s been so long since someone hugged him or just touched him.

«Are you sure?»

He nods, still still. Hoseok does the same, and just when he’s about to let go, something makes him squeeze him even tighter.

«The night is sweet, if you don’t want to talk about it with someone at least think about it tonight. It helps me when I face my worries at night»

Hoseok was right, he guesses. The night seems much more comfortable than the day to cry to. It feels more natural, more free. He guesses it’s because it’s just him sitting in the darkness, no one around to worry about or to look out for, no one to be scared of than he himself.

Taehyung is letting it all out now, seated by the shore as he watches you ride your boat as routine by now. It feels even more ironic: stuck on a rock as you ride in the sea, the mermaid that keeps calling him and ends up with killing him - he read some stories about mermaid being evil creatures, but they really aren’t -. It’s not like you do it on purpose, however. He just wishes it could get better in someway.

The night is sweet and it brings realization to Taehyung. It helps him with his thoughts, it makes them more real rather than just abstract voices echoing inside his head. They become thicker and make roots in his mind, but at the end of the two hours where he does nothing but cry he knows that this is just the way it is. Changing seems too far away, and honestly he doesn’t know if he wants to. He likes the way his heart pounds in his chest tonight as he looks at your hair fly with the wind, it’s just the sadness that comes along with it the one that breaks him. But it is how it is.

These shoes are making him crazy. He can’t wait to get to the pier tonight, his feet are dying. He absolutely needs to take them off, he’s been dreaming about it since the very first step he took out of your garden. The streets are colder than usual today, Taehyung watches you shudder in your coat and wishes he could hug you and warm you up in his embrace, but he doesn’t focus too much on the picture; his heart is already hurting.

Today he did all he could to not fall back in his thoughts, even while being with you. He read two books, apparently one wasn’t a narrative book though; he only noticed almost at the end that it was a vocabulary, the word he read in the same book made him stop two pages away from the end, luckily it was a portable one.

At least he now knows a lot of new mundane words.

The second one, let’s just say that he watched the pictures more than reading it, too tired from the three hours of reading before. He searched for Hoseok too, not really sure of what to do if he found him. He didn’t, so he guessed he just wasn’t at work today. He spent this afternoon sleeping since last night he didn’t really close an eye, what followed to the realization of having to really live forever with this feelings and all of these thoughts without being able to do anything about it.

You spent the afternoon with Namjoon, you invited him home and had lunch together. At the beginning Taehyung tried to resist his need of sleep, but when his eyes closed more than once - at least eight times - he realized that he really needed to take a nap, or else he wouldn’t be able to follow you to the shore tonight. And to be completely honest, he kind of trusts Namjoon. He can see the way he looks at you, it’s completely clear to him: his eyes stayed on you for so much time today as you ate together that Taehyung felt like he was third wheeling, he could see the fondness for you through them and he even wondered if you could see it too. Maybe you do or maybe you don’t, maybe you’ve been with him, maybe he’s just a friend. All of these are things that Taehyung will never be sure about if you don’t make them clear to his eyes. But even that, doesn’t change a thing.

The wind whistles and your hair are already in the air, free and wild even as you try to bring them back in order. Taehyung stops behind the corner as he waits for you to get to the bridge and seat on the boat just like every night. He has grown used to it and he can’t deny that now he feels way more relaxed than before in watching you ride your boat, even though he keeps himself always ready to come and get you just to be sure.

The moment he finally seats down it’s the moment of his rebirth; his feet hurt so much that he’s holding his breath as he takes those tight shoes off and places them by his side. He should really find a way to get new ones, maybe he could ask the only person he knows here, Hoseok. Without raising suspicion, he should ask questions that someone who knows what he’s talking about could ask. He trusts Hoseok too, in someway. There’s something about him that makes him feel safe; how ironic this sentence can be. An angel that should make sure that people are safe feels safe because of a human. It kinda makes him chuckle. And god, if only you were here right now you’d fall in love with him in a second just by hearing that sound.

He brings his knees to his chest, arms hugging his legs and eyes lost in the sea around you, he likes to spend time like this. Seated by the shore, hearing the sound of the waves and watching you make your way into the water. He could spend hours like this. And he does. Two, three hours, until his eyes are threatening him to shut again and he has to get up and wish that you’ll come back soon. He still doesn’t know what you do in the sea at this time every night, it’s one of the things he still hasn’t learned, but he likes it anyway.

Even though, what comes tonight is kinda different from usual. If he knew enough about the human classification of time he’d knew that it’s past midnight and that it’s really becoming too dangerous to stay. The clouds are darker than before and he wonders when did they change so drastically. He was too focused on your figure to notice them changing their color, but he noticed that the temperature became even colder. The wind is whistling louder and the waves are more chaotic and challenging, a view that makes him bite his lips. What follows this kind of weather? Snow? Rain? To him it’s just a question mark, but he doesn’t need to know the answer to do something. He could just use a little bit of Pearly Clouds dust and fly to you, but what if there is no need and he’d just end up with revealing himself? It’s better to take a boat, if it won’t work or he’ll need to be faster he will use his wings. It’s the only way he can think of.

Taehyung walks towards the bridge, eyes fixated on you even as he seats down and wraps his hands around the oars. He doesn’t know how this is going to turn out, how can he help you when he doesn’t know how to do it himself?

He takes a deep breath. The clouds seem darkening as the seconds pass by and just a handful of instants later the first drops of water are hitting his face, cold as ice. He can see you from where he is, even though he can’t deny that now that the sky is almost pitch black it’s way more difficult to keep his sight focused. He just hopes that this will turn out in the right way. He can’t see your boat moving and he doesn’t know if he should worry about it or be grateful, maybe you already went through this before and he’s over panicking. Maybe this is really nothing? Taehyung shakes his head. He can’t risk it.

He rows, fighting against the force of the waves, the wind makes his hair fly and they get in his view. Now he has no doubt that this is dangerous, the rain is so strong and the wind so powerful that he’s afraid for his life even though he’s an eternal creature. The strength and efforts he has to put in just moving the boat is exhausting, the muscles of his arms are already hurting and it seems as if every inch he moves further the water pushes him away of three.

He can see you struggling too, you turn around to see how much distance there’s between you and the shore two or three times but you don’t really notice him. Not that it matters to him now. All he can think about is approaching you and make sure that you get by the shore safe. Why do you always have to meet in the sea, he doesn’t know. Maybe you really are two ships in the night.

Every second seem to last an eternity, Taehyung is sweating and at the same time is dripping wet for the rain, hair sticking to his forehead, bottom lip in his teeth as he desperately tries to hold on for a minute more, thing he has been repeating to himself for at least five minutes already. Getting to you is as hard as surpassing all the obstacles that keep him away from you. Every wave he manages to push through to, every oar he takes is an insecurity of his being pushed aside, backwards. Every single drop of rain are the feelings that still now make him feel frustrated and lost; still, he keeps going on. He fights against the sea, the ocean and all of his thoughts, all of its waves.

The thought of a world without you strikes through his mind as he keeps going on. It makes him gulp harshly, fists tightening around the wood and eyes fixated on your figure as you try to oar back to the shore. His chest feels empty just at the thought; feeling like yesterday - when he cried his heart out for more than two hours - for the rest of his life would be way better.

He can’t picture it. Just the thought hurts him so much that it scares him, for the first time in his entire life he has a vague feeling of what being dead would mean. He can’t picture his life without you, not anymore.

That thought appears in his mind just at the right time, when your eyes finally meet him again for the second time. Such different worlds, galaxies far away. Taehyung’s heart is pounding louder than bombs, louder than the thunders. He wonders once again when did this happen; when he suddenly woke up feeling more about something, about you. It’s like the window you left open: one day he woke up and it was already open, maybe it all happened in his sleep. When was the very first time he wished to pull you closer? To hold you? When did he picture you two as two ships in the night for the first time? He remembers that, at least.

He pouts as he thinks that his fondness for you is probably just as deep as what you would feel for a best friend, but it’s all just one sided. Your eyes finally looking into his make him question if this is real.

The answer comes pretty quickly, not even in a bunch of seconds.

A wave definitely stronger than the others engulfs his boat and pushes him to the right, some splashes of water overcoming the hull and wetting the wood and his shoes.

He only now realizes he stopped paddling and didn’t move for enough time to be transported by the water even more farther away from the shore.

As he struggles to gain back his balance and holds the oars once again he glances at you, maybe to understand the way you’re moving or maybe to check if you’re okay, maybe for both. Your eyes are still stuck on his face, and when he notices it his cheeks blush and make him look even more angelic than he already is. He doesn’t think too much about the fact that he’s scared and just wishes to go back to the shore, where his feet can touch the firm ground. The noise made by the thunders and the chaotic waves doesn’t stop, so loud that he can feel every sound echoing in his chest. It makes him even more frustrated. He has to help you and doesn’t know how to do it, you’re the one who’s moving. Slowly, but still moving. It’s hard and it takes so much energy and effort, but you’re moving.

The waves push you from a direction to another, but you don’t lose your strength and focus on every movement. Your arms are hurting, muscles screaming for you to stop, your feet are stuck on the wood as if they were glued to it, body completely wet from the rain, drops of water dripping down on your forehead. You’ll probably have to call a day off from work tomorrow, just staying in bed covered from your toes to the top of your ears. If you’ll manage to stay alive and come back home tonight, at least. You should have been more careful and should’ve just come back when the clouds were starting to get darker, the weather was already different from usual when you were coming to the pier.

You keep on paddling, meeting the eyes of the man in the other boat from time to time and wishing that all of this could end up soon. Come back home safely it’s the only thing you want to do, get out of this mess. You cannot really discern his features in all of this and the dark, but he looks familiar; all that you know for sure is that his eyes look as scared as yours do for him. And all you can do is try to help him.

The struggle of having to paddle towards him as the tide moves you both makes you wish you could simply have wings and fly away. Something that Taehyung has but completely forgot about now that he finds himself in this situation. He’s so scared that his brain totally forgot about his first plan, and all he can do is try to move those oars to get to you. It takes you both at least four minutes to finally be “close”. Taehyung can’t stop himself from reaching his hand out towards you as if you were close enough to grab and hold in his safe embrace, you take the gesture as a counting of distance. Maybe he’s trying to guess how much water separates you.

He watches your lips move, screaming something that he clearly can’t understand and waiting just a few seconds for him to answer, but Taehyung doesn’t know what to do. This should not be happening, it’s all he can think about.

His eyes keep staring into yours and you can see the panic and the fear even in the dark of the night, sometimes a lightening lights up the sky and casts shadows over his face, but the situation is too chaotic to study his features. You pray your angels that the weather will become better soon, because in this way, to reach the shore seems surreal.

You only manage to ride towards his boat, struggling with the waves and the rain that keeps on hitting your face and makes your hair stick to your skin. It’s just a second then, your boat finally sides his and your body reaches out as fast as you can towards him, hand wrapping around his wrist. Taehyung widens his eyes, his lips falling open and his breath stuck as he realizes that he can feel your touch. Its not the right moment to think about something like this but he can’t wrap his head around it, your skin on his, cold and wet from the rain.

«Get on!» you scream over the noise, pulling him towards your boat to make him understand. Taehyung closes his eyes, he’s eternal, he repeats to himself. Trying not to loose his balance is the hardest thing as he slowly gets up from his seat and waits for the right moment to raise his leg and get in your boat. The sea beside him looks so tormented tonight that he wonders if it’s the same sea that welcomed his tormented thoughts with such a peaceful demeanor for the past nights. He misses the Pearly Waters, always so calm and bearer of fun. When he finally does it, he resists from looking down once more, helping himself by placing his hand on the gunwale of your boat and keeping his mind as empty as possible. It’s what comes next that worries him even more.

Reaching the shore was easier than you both expected. As if it was all a joke made for you to meet, the weather started getting better after a few minutes Taehyung got on your boat, leaving you both bewildered and speechless. What was scaring him even more wasn’t the possibility of the sea getting worse and having to reach the shore though - even thought that was really scary too - ; it was exactly this. Having to deal with his actions. What is he supposed to do now? How can he look after you, after you saw him from so close? He’s pretty sure that after this experience you won’t forget his face easily - even though that thought doesn’t exactly makes him feel bad, not at all, if he has to be completely honest -.

Touching the ground feels like a dream. The earth never felt so safe under his feet and he almost forgets his love for his wings as he breathes out heavily. Your face is definitely paler than usual, clothes dripping wet as the rain keeps getting down, more gentle and silent than it was before. Your hair stick to your face and you fight to bring them behind your ears, eyes roaming the street looking for anything that could distract you.

Taehyung feels useless for a moment, realizing only now that he wasn’t the one who saved you but in fact you did all the job. The panic took over him and all he could do was try and try but nothing really went according to his plans. He just hopes that from now on his interactions with the ocean will be less, that or he will have to start paddling.

You hold your stomach with your hands, face contracted in a grimace as you slowly walk towards a bench, little unsure steps as if you’re about to faint. Taehyung holds his breath behind you and follows you silently, watching you as you make it to the seat and look down on the ground, elbows on your knees and hair falling on one side. It’s just a second and you’re throwing out all of your dinner, stomach hurting and a strong nausea invading every part of you. Taehyung shoots forward, his hands immediately reaching out for your hair and bringing them up on your head in a messy ponytail, eyes never leaving your face to check on you even as you let out everything you ate. He waits for you to finish, and even then he doesn’t let go of your hair, eyes still on you. His gaze his warm on you even though you’re cold from the rain.

«I’m sorry» he says. His voice is deeper than you expected, deep and warm, and if you weren’t in this kind of situation you would probably take some time to look at his ethereal features and take in the sound of his voice. The contrast so big, but both definitely perfect for each other. You shake your head.

«I should be the one apologizing. I almost threw up on your shoes»

He shuts his eyes for just a second; even if you did so he wouldn’t feel worse than he already feels, those shoes are the only thing he has grew to not like in his life. It comes after that thought, the fact that you’re talking to him. He realizes it only now, and Lord, he already wishes you could do it endlessly. He likes it when you look at him, when your words are directed to him.

«I don’t like them anyway» he shudders. A little smile grows on your face and Taehyung feels even more bewildered than he already is, his heart pounding in his chest at the sight. The display of a bit of happiness on your face because of him.

«Were you already in the water? I didn’t see you when I got in»

«I went in to help» he lets out, cheeks now becoming reddish as you raise your brows.

«You got in to help me?»

You’re stuttered, and your face perfectly shows it.

He nods, now looking at the ground and realizing he’s still holding your hair. He gently lets them down on your back, his eyes are still into yours even as his cheeks burn, and you don’t know why but something inside you burns too. Maybe it’s because no one ever looked at you like this. It’s different, you can’t explain what is exactly, but it’s different. He speaks with his eyes, but it’s a language you can’t understand yet. However, you can understand how beautiful he is just now, under the lights of the street. Before you didn’t really have the chance, but now the view makes you hold your breath. Art itself is standing right in front of you, dark locks sticking to his yellowish skin, beautiful asymmetrical eyes are taking over every single part of you, deep and dark as the night sky, long lashes and pink lips stretched out in a little smile that makes him look so innocent and naive.

«You could’ve died» you murmur. Taehyung takes in a deep breath as he thinks. Would he have done the same thing if he wasn’t an eternal creature? The thought of losing you hurts more than the thought of the pain that death itself could bring. Maybe losing you it’s the real death for him.

«You could have died too,» he raises his eyebrows «didn’t you notice the sky becoming darker?»

«I did» you keep your eyes in his. A moment of silence follows, as if you were both trying to communicate and understand each other only with your eyes.

«I had to finish something»

The sentence travels in the air with the wind and it fades away in the sky. Taehyung wonders what you’re talking about but never asks you, not sure if that would be the right thing to do.

«Please be more careful» he just lets out. His eyes now seem even deeper than before, swallowing you in as a dry plant does with water.

«I will» you nod.

«Thank you»

Those words leave him a little empty. He didn’t save you just like he planned to, you were the one who saved both. Would it be the same if he didn’t ride that boat? Did he just blow his cover? Was it really that difficult to paddle and bring you to the shore safely?

«I didn’t save you» the feeling is both bitter and sour.

«You choose me over you» you smile. Your words stain the air, just like a coffee spilled all over the space between you two, splashes of paint, and Taehyung doesn’t really know what to do with it, with them. They smell both sweet and sour, they are both, just like coffee.

«Thank you»

He just smiles. A smile that shakes your insides for a second or two and leaves you breathless, staring deep into his blackish eyes.

«Do you have a name I can call you with?»

And he freezes. All the world stops for a second, everything gets stuck in place. Taehyung feels both worried and excited and the mixed emotions make it harder to think. His heart pounds, being this important makes his head empty, being enough worthy of a name. Angels are usually unobserved, lonely, just caring for their human without them knowing. They dedicate the entirety of their life to someone who’ll never recognize them. Unfamiliar feelings are exploding for the first time ever in his chest, feelings he will never get used to. He can’t discern them.

«My name?» he asks, bewildered. When you nod and smile at him it’s as if the dark sky suddenly became limpid. His brain tries to stop him before he might do something that later he will regret, but his mouth opens faster.

«I’m Taehyung» he never felt so free only by saying his name, never thought that someday he could feel like this just by saying it. He tries to grasp the reason why but still, he can’t.

«Taehyung, thank you for what you did» you smile at him. The rain sort of creates an halo around you, sparkling drops lighted up by the lamps behind you falling to the ground and hitting your face as you keep your eyes in his.

«We’re going to catch a cold» you murmur.

Taehyung narrows his eyes, confused by your words and the meaning behind them. How can you catch the cold? It’s not like it’s a fly or a bird flying in the air. What does it mean? He’s tempted to ask you but he keeps his thoughts to himself. He doesn’t want to scare you off.

«Is your house near?»

The question caughts him off guard again and he ends up both nodding and then shaking his head. Your house isn’t his for you.

«Ehm, no» he scoffs, now raising an hand to scratch the back of his head. What’s left now is only silent as you fix your gaze on the ground and mull your words over.

«You could come and take a shower at my place? It’s the least I could do for what you did» your words aren’t certain at all and neither your tone is, but there’s something inside you that’s pushing you to do it. He seems a good person; you’re sure he actually is. His gaze sends you positivity, not because he’s smiling or cause he looks hopeful, but because he makes you feel oddly safe. You only met him now - and maybe you saw him another time too, you remember his face - but it’s safe to say that he makes you feel at ease.

Taehyung doesn’t know what to say or think. Would it be alright if he said yes? He wants to say it so bad. What would happen if he says no? He certainly can’t sneak up in your garden anymore now that you know him and his name. Where will he go at night? How can he look after you now? All of these thoughts lead him to think that he didn’t think his moves properly before coming to rescue you in the water. But he just had to do it.

Your eyes become bigger and bigger the more the time passes and all he can do is widen his too, searching for the right answer but without finding one.

«Yes,» he burst out, as if he was holding his breath all along «if you don’t mind»

«I don’t»

Taehyung feels as if he’s entering a new galaxy the moment you open the door of your apartment. He never saw it like this, this close, other than that time you left your window open. But right now it feels different. You are welcoming him in, he has your permission, he knows he can be here, with you.

Your house reflects you in many things, Taehyung smells your perfume in the air, he sees the messy kitchen that you try to hide by standing in front of the door.

He almost forgets you’re both dripping wet from the rain, his shoes so tight and squeaky make him hold his breath at every step. His steps are unsure, short and wobbly as he tries to hold back the pain of his feet, water squeaking and coming out at every step.

He follows you to your bedroom, the room he usually stares at from behind the tree in your garden, it feels different now. Even if he sees it everyday, even if he’s been here already. He glances at the garden, a look at his place. The view is so different from here, he forgot to take a look there the very first and last time he’s been here. If you’d only look more carefully he’s sure you’d be albe see him. His heart breaks a little at the thought. Is he wishing for you to look at him? He’s been looking at you with such fondness, and until now he only focused on that, on his side, but a simple, basic thought makes him realize that he’s been wishing for you to look at him as well. With fondness or without, it doesn’t matter. He just feels good, right, when you look at him.

The weather is good today. Taehyung takes a breath of relief the moment he opens his eyes and realizes it. He slept behind your tree again tonight, but he waited for you to fall deeply asleep and woke up early. His eyelids are heavy, but he cant risk being seen, so he does what he has to. He gets up and takes a look at you, still covered by the sheets and sleeping tight. He can see the small movements of your chest getting up and down from here, a big smile already taking over his expression. He hides more behind the tree, now waiting for you to get up. He doesn’t have sense of time since in Heaven there’s no such concept, but somehow he got used to your routine to the point of waking up almost everyday a few minutes before you. He thinks about yesterday, how the rain had stopped when he came out of your apartment and had to lie about having a home where to go, a home that wasn’t yours, you by now. He’s been missing your gaze on him from the moment you closed the door of your apartment. Thinking that he shouldn’t see you anymore hurts him more and more every minute that goes by. It makes him forget of his still moist clothes. After he took a shower yesterday at your apartment he wore them back but he has never wished more to just be able to be naked like he’s used to. Lucky him, angels can’t catch a cold.

You’re moving in the bed, now finally sitting up and taking a look around you. Your eyes are still sleepy and your hair is disheveled, but to Taehyung they remind him of his clouds, the ones he always misses. He watches you get into the bathroom and then come back in your room, he’s totally used to your routine by now. He makes sure not to look when you change into your clothes for the day and then watches you as you quickly clean up your bedroom. The moment you close the door behind you he’s already standing up to follow you out. He waits for you to come out of your house still hiding behind the tree, and a minute later, you’re both on your way to work.

Taehyung is extraordinary careful today, making sure you can’t even think of seeing him. That thoughtfulness hurts him at every step he takes, half of him wishing you’d just turn around and greet him, he tells himself to do so, but he’s stuck in between and to make a decision like this seems to be the hardest thing he’s ever done.

For a moment or two he’s afraid that you can hear him walking a few steps behind you; his shoes still have water inside even though he tried to let them dry tonight, they still squeak when he walks. His steps get more careful when you approach the library, silently walking behind you.

The morning goes on slowly and quietly for Taehyung, hiding behind the shelves and reading books that draw all his attention away, words and words flying in his mind; some reminding him of how much he misses his friends, some remind him of you. The library gets more busy as the morning goes on and Taehyung finds himself just a little more relaxed, sitting on one of the sofas at the corner, head buried in the book and hidden from anything else.

He doesn’t even hear the sound of footsteps approaching, stopping just next to the last shelve.

Your eyes lay on his dark, fluffy hair. They look so soft. How the light hits his skin and almost seems to make it glow, the yellowish tone contrasting the pink of his lips, contracted in a pout as he’s immersed in the book.

He looks relaxed, not as if last night he had tried to save your life and almost lost his. You wish he could lift his gaze up, just for a second. Yesterday night, you wished to know more of him. Wether it was because he tried to save you or for something else, his presence gave you a feeling that got you longing for more. Comfort.

«Taehyung»

His head shoots up. Eyes now glued on you, his throat runs dry as he understands what is happening, lips parted.

«You haven’t changed your shoes» you notice. They’re still moist and creak from time to time when he walks, but you still haven’t heard that.

Taehyung gulps.

«They’re the only pair I’ve got» it’s the only answer he manages to let out. His voice shocks you again, deeper than you remembered it almost feels as if it’s again the first time you listen to it.

His answer shuts you up. You should’ve been more sensitive, you don’t know his situation. Your eyes stay in his, both staring at each other; Taehyung feels his heart pound again.

«I’m sorry» you let out, now approaching the sofa. His lips contract in a pout and he furrows his eyebrows, not able to understand what you’re apologizing for.

«For saying that, I’m sorry»

«Oh, don’t, don’t!» he shakes his head, «You didn’t say anything wrong, it’s just that I have only these shoes»

When you sit beside him Taehyung’s hands work faster than his brain, shutting the book close and squeezing it in his hands. Your eyes travel on them, long, incredibly beautiful fingers placed on the cover.

«Is it the first time you come here?» you ask. Taehyung is not trained to lie, and all he can do is shake his head again.

«No» he smiles. The light that he casts out of a simple smile is incredible, it lights up your mood and makes you smile too. He seems to notice, and all he can do is add words to keep that smile on your face.

«I come here very often» he involuntarily reveals. The conscious part of him wants to both congratulate him for piquing your interest and scold him at the same time.

«You do?»

You wonder why you never noticed him. Taehyung stays silent for a second, but the next one he nods.

«I’ve never noticed you»

That sentence has kind of a double effect on Teahyung. He suddenly feels gloomy realizing that for you he should’ve stayed like that, invisible. Then, he feels wrong again, cause now you certainly can see him, and it’s not supposed to happen. But what can he do when he feels so good under your gaze? Your eyes are in his, shining so bright that he feels lucky to be able to witness it. That is the last - third effect - of your sentence; you notice him now. You’re looking at him.

«Now you do» he lets out, a tone that you can’t quite read into.

«What kind of books do you like? I could help you pick one» you offer. His hands work faster than his brain, already placing the one he is holding next to him on the sofa.

«Every kind, I think. There are different kinds of books?» it’s stronger than him, his naivety comes out again and he just can’t hold it back. He carefully tries to understand what’s going on in your mind as you turn to face him, eyebrows raised and the hint of a smile on your face. You wait for him to add something that can help you understand more the meaning of his sentence but nothing comes out of his mouth. Taehyung just stares at you with the most innocent eyes you’ve ever seen and it makes you question if he really doesn’t know what you mean. His brain finally comes out with something and he fixes his eyes on the ground.

«I’d like one with pictures. Art, paintings. Can you help me with that?»

Taehyung is a breath of fresh air. The cutest boxy smile hidden behind dark chocolate locks, deep sparkly eyes covered with a layer of the cutest naivety. He made your morning different, happy. Maybe it’s because he makes you feel totally at ease or maybe because you think he’s probably the most beautiful human that ever walked on Earth, but it’s like this. You enjoyed your time with him, work today was slow anyway. You ordered the shelves, him following you as you kept your conversation going, it flew like the water of a river. You talked about your job, your hobbies, told him about your love for music. Taehyung’s eyes were sparkling even more than usual as he heard you speak, but you didn’t notice.

Useless to say, Taehyung feels as if he’s been dreaming all along. It’s shameless how he loves your company so much, your presence, your eyes on him. He could listen to you talking for hours and never get tired. That’s why when he remembers himself that your shift will end soon and you’ll go home, his mood hits the floor and a gloomy layer of sadness covers his face.

«Is everything okay?» your voice echoes in his ears. His smile comes back in a second as he nods.

«It is» he says. You watch him silently as he caresses the spines of the books in the shelves, long fingers dancing over the titles written on the covers. You don’t know him, but during these hours his eyes were bright and his smile big. The fact that your shift will end up soon makes you huff, you never wished more it could last longer.

Taehyung sits at the table, in his hands is still resting the book you got for him, he didn’t even read a page.

«Do you have anything to do at lunch?»

His head shoots up, already shaking on its own.

«We could have lunch together» you suggest.

Taehyung is a special person. The kind of person that makes you smile because of his attitude, the way he speaks or decides to show himself to the world. Taehyung is transparent, you can read his mind by looking into his eyes -or at least his heart-. Taehyung is different, not in a cliche way, but the type of way that makes you wonder where have you been all the time that you didn’t know him. He walks in the rain and smiles at the puddles, always wears the same clothes but you don’t mind it all - it’s not like he smells bad, maybe he just has thousands of the same shirts and trousers -, he loves the smell of books and loves music too. You think he couldn’t hate something even if he tried to, with that big boxy smile of his, his soft deep laughter and his dark sparkly eyes.

From a lunch it all picked up speed. It’s been a month and a half, and you still manage to steal glances at his direction when he doesn’t look. Sometimes it’s hard to understand him, he would stay silent for a little and just stare at the void, brain caught up in who knows what and an odd layer of gloominess falling on his face - something that always makes you want to ask him what’s going on, but you know he’d never answer -. Sometimes he would surprise you, his actions would reflect the same as a child - again, not in the wrong way -, his naivety would come through in some of his answers - just once you were talking to him about the price of a purse and he asked you if the price is that thing you find on the tags in shops -.

Every time you see him you make sure to save in your mind the way his cheeks raise up and get puffy when he laughs, the way he pouts as he chews or keeps the strands of hair that fall down his forehead in place by pushing them upwards with the back of his hand. Taehyung is a breath of fresh air that you’ve grown used to and wouldn’t change for anything else.

«Are you staying tonight?» you ask as you bring a handful of popcorns to your mouth. Taehyung licks his lower lip and gulps, wondering about the right answer. All he wants to say is yes, but again - just like a month and a half ago - that little voice inside of him tells him that it would be just another step towards being more wrong. Still, that voice is nothing compared to his heart pounding when he once more lays his eyes on you, smiling as you watch the tv. During all this time you got to know each other a lot, spending most of the days together, it just felt normal. You liked each other’s presence, the conversation flew as fluid as a river and not to mention you really grew fond to each other. Taehyung’s feelings grew even more, to the point that it’s impossible now for him to even give credit to that voice inside his head that keeps telling him to keep his distance from you, it’s always there, but he manages to brush it away just like he does now. The thought will eventually come back once he’ll be on his own, like every night. That is what makes him nod, still a little uncertain. He never slept in a house before, he wonders how it will be not to feel the wind whistle and the moisture in the air on your skin at night.

«Do I have to change like you do?» he wonders. You narrow your eyes, a smile creating on your face at one of his naive questions. Some of them - like this one - makes you question if he’s being real or only joking around, but the moment you meet his serious eyes and raised eyebrows waiting for an answer you know he’s really asking because he wants an answer. Sometimes you don’t understand him, but those times make you love him even more.

«Of course, don’t you change when you go to bed?»

Taehyung gulps and seems to realize that he again asked something that is obvious on Earth. He still makes mistakes even after all the time he spent here.

«Oh- yes» he lets out. The look that follows on your face makes him hold his breath, deep in thoughts your eyes lay on his lips and then on the mole on his nose, then on his hair without even realizing it. Taehyung’s cheeks are reddish when you speak.

«Can I ask you one thing?»

He nods, cheeks still burning and palms sweating; only now you seem to realize.

«Are you alright? What’s happening?»

«Hm?»

«You look nervous» you murmur, hand reaching his hair to softly stroke them. The very first time you did so, that night he fell asleep with a big smile on his face.

«It was- Nothing, I’m alright» his throat is dry. He shuts up fearful of saying something he shouldn’t, but then he looks at your eyes again and he feels hopeless, completely.

«Your eyes are so beautiful» his voice is low in the silence, and the words resonate in your chest making your heart beat faster than normal. You bite your lip, eyes fixated in his. So transparent, so bright and shamelessly attractive, they talk about him but you still can’t read them clearly, even though the words are there; that’s why you say transparent, as if his story was written with a different alphabet, you can see it but can’t grab the meaning.

«You are beautiful» you whisper. Taehyung blushes even more and you smile so much that your cheeks hurt. The moment is ruined by a loud thud coming from the tv, both turning your heads to realize that the film you were watching started again. The silence fills the room for a little, not a single fly can be heard as you ponder and ponder about the right words to use. It takes you all your courage to turn your head and look at him again, hoping not to offend him with your curiosity.

«Why do you always wear the same clothes? I don’t mean to offend you or-»

«Is it really important?» Taehyung’s voice is suddenly cold, it cuts you off and you end up staring at him with a blank face. You never heard his voice in this shade - which you have to say, it’s not really cold... just more forthright than usual -, his deep breathtaking eyes staring into yours with a sentiment you can’t quite understand, as if he was fighting with himself a war that he’s not sure he will win. He bites his lips, already feeling the guilt invading his stomach and chest for how he talked to you.

«I guess not... Not really» you murmur, eyes now fixating on your lap «I’m sorry»

«I- I’m sorry, really» his voice is trembling, not really used to this kind of situation. He wonders if any angels did ever experience this, even the feeling of guilt. His body is acting as if he totally rejects it, or maybe it’s just his pure heart.

«Can I hug you?»

This is what you like the most about Taehyung. The naivety of a baby, the most sensible heart. Someone else would be insecure of asking something like this - which really shouldn’t be a problem at all - or hold back, or even avoid the question and just do it; but not him. He asks like kids do, and he asks with the same eyes, as if he’s really praying you for it. He makes things simple, which is something you definitely need.

«You can, TaeTae» you chuckle, shaking your head and already opening your arms to welcome him in. The action that follows startles you but you don’t mind it all; he doesn’t move to come nearer, he just throws himself in your arms and buries his head in your neck, nose brushing against your skin and hair tickling your neck. He makes you want to smile, he makes you smile. You feel so at ease that you don’t mind his body on yours, so tight and warm as he keeps stroking his nose into the crook of your neck, and Taehyung for a moment doesn’t even realize that what he’s doing it’s really intimate for humans, he has just followed his instinct for a second. Then, once he falls in love with the warm and comfortable feeling of your body under his, he notices he hasn’t hugged anyone besides Hoseok since he came here months and months ago, and it feels even greater when he smells your perfume. Again, only now he realizes that you could be feeling uncomfortable, so he tries to back off and sit up, but your arms wrap around his trunk and block him.

«I’m sorry, I-»

«It’s okay, I like it» you smile. You close your eyes, Taehyung lets out a breath of relief and you even get more comfortable on the sofa, laying down in slow movements afraid that he would come back to his place. What started as a hug ends up in cuddles, but you don’t really think of that as that. His body is for half on top of yours and for half on his side, laying on the sofa and hugging you tight, face hidden in the crook of your neck where you can feel his hot breath, his hair and nose tickling your skin. Taehyung never felt better than now in all his life.

«We should hug more, hug me more often please»

His soft laughter gives sense to your long day and makes all of your senses at ease; that is the last melody you hear before closing your eyes to welcome the sound of silence and sweet breaths, yours and Taehyung’s one.

The silence that feels the room is almost too loud, even though there isn’t such big difference with the one that filled the living room just a few minutes ago, it almost emphasizes the sound of loneliness. The background noise played by the tv as you and Taehyung lowly talked before is now long forgotten as you stare at the ceiling, the sound of the rain slowly beginning its fall has taken its place. You love nights like this, being safe in your bed, wrapped in the sheets as the drops race over the glass of your window. You let your eyes shut, eyelids too heavy to even think of not surrender to the tiredness.

Taehyung’s feet softly place on the ground, one at a time trying to make as less noise as possible, the amount of carefulness in his actions makes him feel nervous. He never had to worry about it before neither here or in Heaven; until now he only slept with him and himself only, and the sound you could make by walking on a cloud is equivalent to a feet tapping on the ground at a concert.

The dark of the night is the only thing that hides his reddish cheeks as he slowly sits on the other side of the bed, he can feel them burn but can’t understand why. It’s not the action or the thought of sleeping beside you, its more because of his pounding heart. When it’s night and the sky is pitch black he’s usually more himself, everything left is his thoughts, insecurities, fantasies. Himself and himself only. What keeps him out of his mind is you, usually. He would take a look at your window - careful not to be seen - and admire the shadow that your eyelashes cast on your cheekbones.

Taehyung smiles, teeth biting his lower lip as he lays down beside you and takes a breath in.

«What are you doing?» your voice stutters him, immediately sitting up as he turns to look at you.

«Hm?» he raises his eyebrows and if you didn’t know him and the way his face changes when he can’t understand something you’d probably think he’s just trying to avoid your question. But you know him, or at least you’re beginning to do so and are quite familiar with this side of him. Even though sometimes you can’t understand it.

«Why are you here?»

It takes him a few seconds; at first he furrows his brows, eyes narrowing and lips pouting, resuming the expression - the cutest you’ve ever seen - that he usually makes when he can’t understand one of the things you said but is trying to process it anyway. Then, his eyes get wider and his brows raise, lips opening in a “O” and dark pupils fix on you.

«Don’t I sleep here?»

You still can’t explain to yourself how does he always manage to look this cute, this naive. The tone he speaks with, the way he looks at you as if the answer wasn’t already obvious.

«I thought you were going to sleep on the sofa, usually-»

«The sofa?» he cuts you off, pouting once more just like a naive child. Your eyes stay on his lips for a little, pinkish and fleshy.

«I’m sorry» Taehyung gulps, not able to say anything else. You can see it, read it on his face the way his mood changed. As transparent as the face of a child, he’s not good with hiding his disappointment even though he tries. Your heart whispers something to you that you can’t quite grasp as you look at his face, but then he gets up and smiles at you to say goodbye and you suddenly stretch out, hand in the air searching for whatever part of him to grasp.

«Stay»

It’s quiet for a few seconds, Taehyung not sure of your words and you staring at him, both of your hearts beating faster than usual. You guess that nothing could be better than make more room for him if he has to sleep with you so you slide on the mattress and turn again, patting on the sheets beside you.

«Come here»

His eyes light up and a second later he’s already sitting back on the mattress, eyes placing on you.

«Are you sure?»

«I am» you smile at him.

Taehyung lets out a heavy breath, as if he’s been holding it for so long, and finally lays down. His presence beside you is strong but it doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable: it’s impossible not to notice the scent of your shampoo on him, sweet but blending perfectly with him. You feel him moving, laying on one side and watching your back, strands of hair covering his dark eyes and displaying all over the pillow; only now that he sees you this close he realizes: he’s on the other side of the glass. He’s beside you, under the warm covers and on the softest bed he’s ever been on - the only one -. He felt asleep while watching you sleep so many nights that he lost the count, and now he hears your soft huffs as you slowly drift in unconsciousness. He smiles, finally closing his eyes. He tries to fall asleep, slowing his breath, looking outside of the window at the dark sky, but nothing works. This situation is so new that the only thing he can do is keep his eyes open and think about everything that comes to his mind; from how the warmness of the sheets makes him feel at ease - beds should be allowed in Heaven too -, to how he will hold onto this moment once he’ll sleep again behind your tree.

«Y/N?»

He hopes you’re still awake, he doesn’t want to wake you up. The answer doesn’t come for a few seconds, so he gulps and tells to himself to just sleep.

«What?»

Taehyung waits a little to answer, wondering if this is the right thing to do, but the sound of silence is too much to handle right now and maybe this might be the only thing that could make him fall asleep.

«Can you sing for me?»

Even though you’re sleepy, your heart skips a beat. The way he asked you is so cute that you almost turn around overran by the wish of kissing all over his face. The thought stops your breath for a moment, realizing maybe for the first time what you’re really feeling.

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo» it’s insecure and low, but it’s there. The same melody he heard you sing from far away every day, the same one that brought him so much questions, the one that he often signs to himself and bring him to calmness.

Taehyung smiles, big and boxy, eyes sparkling in the night. He wishes you could turn just to look into your eyes, but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he just follows his natural instinct, the one that not all humans have: showing affection without feeling uneasy, something that reminds you of his naivety even more, but not now. Now that his arm is wrapped around you and his breath is on your neck, nose once again tickling at your skin and strands of hair mixing with yours, all you can do is open your mouth and try to calm down your unstoppable heartbeat.

Still, Taehyung makes you feel at ease, as if any reaction would be okay, as if his actions don’t necessarily claim a particular reaction, or one at all. He just felt the need to hug you, he doesn’t expect you to do it back, he just wishes he didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo»

That is the answer he needed. You still in his arms, now filling the silence again with your soft voice. The night seems sweeter now and he closes his eyes as he listens to you humming a melody that doesn’t have any words. It leads him in a different world, one where the sky is pitch black too and there is water, an ocean and you two are each one on your boat; just like you two met.

«Do you play any instruments?» his voice makes you shiver, so close and so low that you ask to yourself how did you manage to get used to it at all in the first place, so beautiful. Taehyung notices and places his eyes to the back of your head, hoping you’d turn.

«Are you cold?»

Your heart skips a beat. Taehyung is a naive creature, there is no ulterior motive in his actions that the action itself, he’s really not even thinking about flirting with you - he doesn’t even know the meaning of the word flirt -, and somehow you know he’s not really trying to but you can’t help it.

His arms wrap more around you and squeeze you tighter, his head places on the crook of your neck, not realizing that it’s really an intimate position. The fact that you’re in a bed together makes it all even more meaningful and your thoughts fly for the first time to a world where you and Taehyung are like this everyday; comfortable, intimate, friends, lovers. You can feel his nose brushing on your skin, his hair tickling you, his hot breath on your neck and all of these things make you freeze in place just to feel your insides melt.

«I’m good» you shake your head. Taehyung hums in your ear and let’s out a deep breath that hits your skin right after, hot and chilly at the same time.

«I’d like to learn how to play saxophone» you murmur, unconsciously wrapping your arms around your shoulders. The angel raises his eyebrows, now understanding the reason why behind the instrument he saw you buy months ago.

«You could write a song with it»

The time you’re spending together tonight brings you closer than you can ever imagine, apparently whispering in the silence when the sky is dark and the city is asleep make you both find strength and safety in the other, trust.

Taehyung finds inspiration in you, he sees the light of the sun and the flames of the fire. Since the moment he was born, he was happy with the thought of having to keep someone safe, it was all that he could dream about because it was what used to make him happy. Now, he doesn’t want to only keep you safe because it’s his duty. He wants to keep you safe because he’s falling in love with you, and he only realizes it now that you’re sharing a bed and he’s finally watching you under the light of the moon like he always dreamt. He wants to keep you safe because he’s falling in love with you, he repeats to himself.

The next morning has Taehyung dumbfounded. By now, it’s part of his routine to wake up before you, but never once he thought he could have the pleasure to witness something like this. Your hair all over the pillow, eyes shut and soft lips relaxed, skin kissed by the rays of the sun, body covered by the sheets. It’s ethereal the picture he has in front of him, and it makes him wish that he could wake up with you like this every day. The realization he had last night comes back to his mind once more, and now that it’s morning it looks even clearer, because you’re in front of him under the bright light and not just a soft shadow. You’re the definition of his feelings, Taehyung never knew this type of love, in all his life he felt all kinds, but not this one. And now that it’s burning in his chest he knows that he’ll always associate this feeling, this emotions to you. You are the feelings in his chest.

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo» he sings, softly and slowly getting closer to your face. If only you could see the look in his eyes, only a fool wouldn’t understand what he’s feeling only by placing his eyes on you.

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo» he sings again. Humming your melody in front of you hits him in a different way, he never did it until now, because he wasn’t supposed to know. It makes him realise how much you opened to him, and his chest warms up even more as he brings a strand of hair behind your ear.

His soft touch is what wakes you up, sleepy eyes slowly opening under the rays of the sun, they make you close them again. You can see the light even with your eyelids down until a shadow covers you and you instantly open them back.

Taehyung is there in front of you, looking as beautiful as ever and with a soft smile on his lips that you cannot quite explain, sparkly eyes and messy dark hair.

«Good morning» his smile gets bigger, showing his teeth. Boxy and happy.

«Good morning,» you answer back «did you sleep good?»

Taehyung nods in silence and lays back beside you, staring at the ceiling before he looks at you. His stare makes you turn but the light of the sun it’s so bright today that you end up closing your eyes again.

«It’s too bright» you whine covering your eyes with your arms. Taehyung smiles watching this childish side of yours, and the childish angel inside him doesn’t miss the chance to come out. His fists the edge of the sheets to raise them onto your face and a second later he’s joining you under the darkness, chuckling as you bring your arms down and meet the new sight.

His smile is so bright that you can’t help but feel energized by it, sparkling eyes even in the shadow and fleshy lips stretched out.

«Is it okay now?» it’s like the question of a child to his mother, as if she had just said that her favorite dress is too long and he’d trim it with scissors seconds later, just to make her happy. It’s naive, cute and it makes you feel so cared for for a moment that you smile as big as ever and nod quickly, never as sure as now about something.

«It is»

«Are they tight?» your voice goes straight to his ears even though his attention is somewhere else. Taehyung looks away from the glass and instead places his gaze on you.

«What?» he asks. At this point, you can’t do other than look at his shoes. They are classic, beautiful, but from the way he walks they don’t seem too comfortable. They’re always the same just like his clothes, but you only noticed his uncomfortableness today. You’ve been walking for a bit by now, maybe he wants to sit.

«The shoes. Do you want to sit?» you ask. Taehyung shakes his head and takes another step, but the look on his face wins him. His feet are hurting, a lot. If only he’d be brave enough to enter a shop and ask what do those numbers on the targets in the glasses mean, maybe he’d find an answer to the question “how can I get a new pair of shoes?” that has been running through his mind for all of these months. He lets out a heavy breath as he turns his head again.

«Yes, please» he murmurs, cheeks reddish and gaze on the ground. Suddenly, he feels heavy inside, an unfamiliar feeling to him that makes his eyes water within a second. You watch his lips tremble as he lowers his head, now biting them. Your heart stops at the sight, immediately reaching your hand out to grab his, now bringing him to the closest bench.

Taehyung follows you silently, trying as hard as he can to fight the tears that are suddenly threatening to come out, but it’s useless; he doesn’t have control over this kind of feeling that he doesn’t know, all he can do is let it out. It hurts your chest to see him like this, something inside of you breaks and all you can do is gulp as you sit next to him, raising your hand to wipe his tears away.

«You can talk to me,» you whisper «I promise you I don’t judge. If you want you can just talk and I won’t even answer you, or-»

«They are tight» Taehyung cuts you off, concreting all of the feelings in his chest as if it was all because of a pair of shoes. It almost makes you want to giggle for the cuteness of his voice, the way he says it, halting his crying by saying words like that with the pout of a child and rubbing his wet eyes with his hand, the other one still in yours.

«Do you want mine?» you smile at him, getting closer on the bench and wiping another tear on his face. His skin is soft and his eyes look as dark as ever now, but sadness overlays them. Something inside you makes you want to wipe that away too.

Taehyung shakes his head, fidgeting with his fingers as he looks at the ground. You place your head on his shoulder, searching for the right words to say.

«TaeTae, do you have other shoes?» that is the only question you manage to let out, hoping that he won’t feel offended. What follows is silence; the birds singing and the background noise made by the cars, the people passing by are what keeps you company as you wait for anything.

«I don’t» he huffs, another tear coming out as he too places his head on yours. He’s not crying because of a pair of shoes, he’s crying because he still feels like a foreigner; he still doesn’t know what those numbers on the targets mean, the names of the days. He doesn’t have anything, clothes, shoes, a cloud to sleep on. For all this time he didn’t give much credit to these feelings, but now they reached the tip of the iceberg and it’s starting to break. He feels frustrated because this is not his natural habit and all he knows is useless. He feels frustrated, embarrassed even though he shouldn’t. He never felt like this, and h doesn’t like it.

«Tae» your voice calls him and finally gets him out of his mind, eyes now looking into yours. The sudden view makes his lips tremble like the ones of a baby and a second later he breaks in sobs. The sound of his crying is heartbreaking, his shoulders tremble as you stop thinking and just wrap your arms around him. Warm and tight, you hold Taehyung just like you’d only hold someone that means too much, but you still don’t know. All you know is that this amazing man is going through something that you don’t know anything about, nevertheless you only want to help him.

He lets his tears come out, eyes shut as he hides his face in the crook of your neck showing nothing but his naked feelings. Taehyung sniffles as he gets used to the warmth of your body, slowly getting used to his emotions too. You stay like this for a few minutes, comforting him as he lowly sobs, he thinks about the things that have built up inside him that led him to feeling like this. Slowly, he feels his mind emptying and his energies dry, until even sobbing becomes too much of an action too.

Your hands are in his hair, sweetly caressing them as he breathes in your scent.

One wrapped around the other so tight that a person walking by wonders where one begins and the other ends, not only physically.

«Can I know you?» you whisper in the silence. Those words resonate inside Taehyung, they make him shiver and shake every part of him, wondering how the Heaven he managed to get here. He was the one who wanted to know you, and now you’re asking it to him. But can he really show himself to you? He knows he can’t. He just can’t.

You wander off a little, your forehead now is on his as he sniffles one last time, your hand wiping away the tears that are now drying.

«Please, TaeTae» you whisper.

Taehyung licks his lips, his tongue almost touches your lips because of the little amount of distance between you.

«I just have tight shoes» he lets out unsure, voice trembling and eyes fixated into yours. You can’t hold back your laugh at his words, but it only lasts a second.

«Do you want to buy new ones?» you ask sweetly. Taehyung’s eyes widen at the question.

«Buy?» Taehyung wants to ask you what is it, but he’s afraid once more that he’ll end up with showing his true nature, so he just nods.

«Let’s go then»

The shop is full of shoes at Taehyung’s eyes. He never wore them before coming to Earth but for the first time he thinks that it may even be fun to wear them. Imagine having so much of them, comfortable. What is he saying, these are things made for humans; now he can even taste greediness.

«Do you like these?» you point at a pair of classic shoes that seem to get along with what he wears every day, not too particular but still beautiful. Taehyung narrows his eyes and it makes you wonder what kind of clothes and shoes he’d wear if he had more. The answer comes a second later; Taehyung wraps his hand around your wrist and guides you towards another pair of shoes. Particular but classic, your mind immediately flies to a Taehyung dressed with boxy pants, beret, large shirt and the shoes he likes. The image makes you stuck in place for a few seconds, the angel now taking the shoes in his hands.

«I like them. Can we go now?» he asks. You raise your eyebrows, smiling at him.

«Are those of your size?»

His face suddenly becomes blank, raising his eyebrows just like you.

«My size?»

«Do you know your size of shoes?» you smile at him, guiding him towards a seat. Taehyung’s cheeks become red once again as he gulps and shakes his head, the feeling of not being able to understand the simplest of things again approaching him. You notice the change in his expression and you quickly knee down in front of him.

«I don’t know it» his answer leaves you speechless. You wonder how is it possible, but again you don’t say a thing. You just simply take one of the shoes he has in his hands and show him where the tag is.

«Here,» you say «you can see it here»

Taehyung reaches down to check his shoes, but not a thing is written where there should be the tag. Maybe in Heaven they don’t have size for shoes since they don’t wear them, he thinks. Maybe that’s the reason why they gave him a tight pair.

«We have to find your size»

«How?» he wonders when he should stop asking and when should he pretend to know what you’re talking about. The last thing is what he usually does with other people, but when he’s with you he tends to let go of his fears.

«Where did you take the

Taehyung feels lighter. He’d lie if he said it’s just for the new shoes he’s going to wear tonight. He knows his size, he thinks as he takes a step more in the line. The box in his hands becomes heavier and heavier the more he waits, he’d like to just put them on right now but he has to wait apparently. Still, he doesn’t know what the number on the sticky tag on the box means.

«Good morning» the employee smiles at you both when it’s your turn and waits for Taehyung to place the box on the counter. He smiles at her, raising his eyebrows when she does the same to him.

«The shoes» you whisper to him. Only now he realizes and finally gives them to her, removing them from the box. You smile at his actions, the saleswoman thanks him probably thinking that he wanted to do her a favor by removing them from the box for her. Which could be, but to you it looks differently. It almost seems as if he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do, as if he never bought something in all his life. Like a child buying his first candy. You shake the thought off and wait to pay, watching Taehyung following every move of the employee with his eyes.

«It’s 93900,30₩» Taehyung’s eyes widen. It’s a high number, he thinks as he watches you take something out of your purse, like a case with some papers inside. You give her the exact amount she asked, and only when he sees the papers in front of him and counts the numbers written over them he realises it’s the same number as the one written on the tag on the box.

Even the sign after the number is the same, the saleswoman called it won, right? Where do you take them? Is it like a barter? He heard that people on Earth used to do it a long time ago. You give her the papers and she lets you take the box, is it this easy?

«Thank you, have a nice day» the employee says. She hands you another paper, white this time with black words written over it, almost at the end there’s the long barter number too. You put it in the bag she gave you with the shoes and Taehyung follows you out of the shop, happy to finally be able to wear comfortable shoes and to have understood something.

It became usual by now, how much you and Taehyung spend your time together. He’s at the library everyday from half of your shift to the end, reading whatever comes to his view and waiting for you to end working, then you would go for a walk together, sometimes ending up with eating lunch at your place. Taehyung is still trying to get used to the feeling of wearing comfortable shoes, sometimes stopping in place only to look down and make sure he’s not dreaming. He still feels like a foreigner, things are different on Earth, but he feels happy when he’s with you, even though he doesn’t know what’s a won. And today, it’s no difference; Taehyung is keeping you company at work just by spending time here, he knows you’re busy working and he prefers to leave you your spaces and just glance at you from time to time rather than bother you. What you think every time you see him enter is always the same thing though; does he really have all this time? He never talks about him, so you don’t know a lot. You always try not to ask too much since he seems uncomfortable or not at ease talking about himself, but sometimes you just like to wonder; where does he come from, what was he like when he was younger, if he has friends. Taehyung intrigues you, you can’t deny it, his company makes you feel at ease, happy, free, his attitude makes you feel - just a little - in charge, as if you’d have to look after him and his naivety; and you like it. So when you look at him, you can’t help but wonder where does all of this come from, where does all of him come from.

Namjoon stares at you from behind the counter at the entry, eyes glued on your back as you put the books in order and count them again for the third time, just to be sure. His eyes meet Taehyung’s figure from time to time, and even though you never interact that much when you’re here, he knows you know each other, and he can see the way Taehyung looks at you too: it’s the same as him. He notices it everyday, his eyes lighting up at the sight of your smile or his head shooting up from one of the books he’s reading the moment he hears you hum, always the same melody.

To be honest, until today Namjoon kind of used your friendship as an excuse to not ask you out; he’s always been too scared to ruin the bond you have established and taking the first step always seemed like something bigger than him. Telling himself that maybe you liked someone else was way better than hearing it from you. But yesterday as he went home and thought once again about how beautiful you looked, he promised to himself that the next time he was going to say that to you. And even though he can see how much Taehyung likes you, he can’t help but wonder what would it be like, and again, if only...

You huff and finally turn around, now walking towards the counter, Namjoon lowers his gaze on the keyboard and whistles the melody of a song he can’t remember the name of. A second later, you’re already beside him.

«Done, finally» you let go a breath of relief as you sit. Namjoon feels his cheeks red already.

«I told you I could’ve helped you»

«There was no need, it was just a box. Plus, clients wouldn’t have found no one at the counter» you smile at him, coming closer to the screen. Namjoon’s hands are sweating, and so is Taehyung under the rays of the sun coming through the window, they’re hitting him as if they were screaming him to raise his eyes from the book.

«Do you-»

«Can I ask you something?» Namjoon cuts you off. When you nod and smile he desperately hopes that things won’t change after his question, but he forces himself to let it out.

«Would you like to go out? Like, with me? We could eat seafood- wait, please not seafood, I hate it. But we could eat meat, or pizza? Would you like that?» he literally says all of that with just a breath and all you’re left with is your mouth hanging open and a little smile spreading all over your face at his cute rant of turmoil.

«That wasn’t just something» you chuckle and he feels a bit of weight off of his shoulders, still, the times that he felt so much pressure in all his life could be counted in one hand, and this is definitely in his top three.

«When?»

He lets out the deepest breath you’ve ever heard, head lowering as he closes his eyes and smiles to himself, unbelievable of what is happening.

«Really?»

«Why not? Did you really think I wouldn’t say yes? I like your company, Joon» you smile once more, and Namjoon thinks he couldn’t like you more, maybe tomorrow, but not today.

«Tomorrow after work» you explain as you open the fridge to take the water. Taehyung follows you right after, already with two glasses in his hand.

«So we won’t go for our walk?» he asks, a cute pout taking over his face.

You shake your head.

«Not tomorrow, TaeTae» you pat his shoulder and kiss his cheek right after, his lower lip gets fleshier as he puts even more, his eyebrows furrowed.

«But we won’t even eat together?» he adds, glancing at you as you put the water in both the glasses.

«Not tomorrow,» you repeat «does it bother you?» Taehyung looks up in thought, and he looks just like a child right now with his eyebrows furrowed, pouting and eyes looking at the ceiling. He’s so cute you’d kiss all over his face.

Honestly? Taehyung doesn’t know the real meaning of being bothered by something, if we don’t count his old tight shoes and the things he doesn’t know - this feeling is one of them-, those bother him.

«No? I don’t get bothered» he answers, shaking his head. His answer brings you back again to his innocence and you end up smiling as you bring your glass of water to your mouth.

«Okay then. Now let’s go»

Namjoon can’t help but smile as he looks at you walking beside him, eyes fixated on the colorful sky and cheeks blushing because of the light breeze, he thinks you look good wearing this color. This morning at work all he could do is smile like an idiot - just like now - and try as much as he could to find something to talk about with you at lunch, since he already knew that his brain would shut down the very first moment you would meet again after going home.

Taehyung came at the library today too - just like every day - but he didn’t stay too long, or at least that’s what you think. He preferred to look at you from far away, he still had duties, after all. He watched Namjoon too, wondering if he should leave you two alone this afternoon or watch after you from far away, and he told to himself that he could trust him. Namjoon is a good person, he can see it just from the way he often smiles as he looks at the clients searching for their book. But again, isn’t his job to protect you? What if something happened and he wasn’t there?

So here he is, watching you from far away, again. It reminds him of months ago, what it used to be like. Watching you as you laugh with someone else makes him feel sick, not because of Namjoon or you, but because he knows that what really unites him to you are his duties, even if you don’t know it. Even if by now, they’re the last thing he thinks about when he looks at you. If something happened he would do all he could for you just because of you, not because of his role as an angel, but he knows that this counts only for him. He doesn’t even know if the oldest are okay with all of this, him talking to you, being your friend. Do they know? Can they feel how much you matter to him? Do flower blossom in Heaven thanks to your love too? He remembers how they used to grow around him during the night when a friend would smile to another in your world, do they? Are they different from the ones that usually grow? For Heaven, all that anchors him here is you; and it’s true for him too, but just in a different way.

He watches Namjoon as he smiles once more, his eyes sparkling as he speaks and looks at your face, now sitting at the table. Is a rose growing now? He thinks. It must be, cause the way he looks at you remembers him a lot of the way he used to see boyfriends looks at their girlfriends from his favorite cloud, beside Yoongi. Is this one of those meetings they do here, before getting married? How do they call it, he can’t even remember. Are you two going to get together and then get married?

He wrinkles his nose, an action that comes so naturally that he doesn’t even realize it. Until he lets out a little whine, cute and low, matched with a pout. What is he feeling? Something new, definitely. It’s a negative feeling, it’s just a sparkle, but it’s there. Right in his chest, the beginning of something he cannot understand. Then, he looks at you. It goes away, for a second or two, until he sees Namjoon touching your hand on the table. Eyes still sparkling, dimpled cheeks and heart beating fast.

From the clouds, someone smiles at the scene, now looking at Taehyung. The angel wishes he could talk to him and tell him what he needs to hear, but all he can do is keep watching. Taehyung lets out a deep breath, watching as you both eat. He wants to go eat out with you too. What is it that you’re eating? It seems like a big rounded bread with tomatoes and mozzarella on top.

Taehyung watches the clouds walk, slowly and silently in the night. He wishes he could touch them tonight, they’d bring him comfort from his unstoppable mind. He can’t sleep, and the night is slowly fading away. He keeps thinking about you, the way you look at him, how much happiness and coziness you bring him, familiarity. If he could sleep with you he’d hug you tight and listen to your breath, maybe he’d fall asleep. He’d lean his body on yours and place his head right on your chest, listen to your heart beating as he closes his eyes.

He shakes his head. It all sounds like a tale to him tonight. Endless tales, endless stories that won’t come true, because he’s not from here and there are things he can’t tell you and things that need to be kept far away from you. He can’t ask you what he has to do to bring you out to eat whatever it was that you were eating today, what is it that makes cars move or where do the ink of pens come from. These things are so simple but he doesn’t know them and even these, are part of the reasons why he won’t have with you what Namjoon has. Maybe that’s what makes him feel low, tonight.

He wishes he could have it, whatever it is that you two have, but he won’t ever. All he can have is a little taste, sleep beside you for once just like that time, laugh with you but say goodbye right after just to go back to watch you from far away. Namjoon or whoever will have it next, he wishes he could be that person. He wants to touch your hand just like Namjoon did today and warm you up when you feel cold, hear you hum the same melody for the whole night and ride a boat with you and talk under the light of the moon, eat that strange bread together and buy other shoes. But these are just endless stories of him, he thinks. He can only leave them in his dreams, which he doesn’t have tonight, since it’s already morning.

Taehyung stays away from you today. In fact, you start to wonder if something happened and you have to be worried; the fact that you don’t have his number to call him after all the time you spent together is something that you seem to realize only now. After an hour more, you really start to worry. Maybe he had something to do, you force yourself to think. Not seeing him around seems strange now, as if missing your shadow. Taehyung is a little bit like that, obviously you don’t mean that he’s always following you around, but in a different way, he’s just... you seem inseparable by now. Did something really happen? How did you never ask him his number?

You take a breath, looking straight in front of you. You need to stop. You’re working, you can’t even go and see if he’s at home; you don’t know where he lives. How come is it that you spend so much time together but seem two strangers?

Taehyung is here, is just that you can’t see him. For the second time, his wings make him feel like he’s finally back to being himself, the one he was before Earth. It seems like it’s been ages since the last time he felt their soft feathers behind his back, how the wind hits his skin when he flies into the sky. He admits it, it’s rather hazardous to fly careless like he did, but he needed it too much. He needed to feel in control, back to his old self, his emotions, his feelings. And for a bit it lasted, the first two minutes. Then, he saw the library from above and it all went back to how it was just minutes before - not that it would’ve lasted longer anyway -.

And it’s all becoming even worse, because as he looks at you putting the books in place from a branch, Namjoon staring at you and you spacing out from time to time, he starts to wander again with his mind. Why not even in the Beauty and the Beast they can be together even if they’re different? The beast becomes a prince. In the Little Mermaid the princess becomes human. What is wrong with being different from each other? He read those books so many times by now, but he never felt so distant from them than now. And as he thinks once again of them, he realizes that he doesn’t want something like the two friends that are playing in front of the library with you. He wants something like the princess and the beast, the mermaid and the prince. But he’s different. And sadly, he can’t change. Last night, this thought was just the result of stress and sadness, but it was still abstract. Now it’s clear, and he can’t deny it not even if he tries to: Taehyung is in love with you.

Namjoon and you went out again today, this is all you can think about. You’re not sure if the date was good, I mean it definitely was but not that good. Your heart didn’t race when he held your hand and it didn’t throb when he said you looked beautiful. There’s something that doesn’t let you fall for him in that way, maybe it’s because you’ve always seen him as a friend. When he walked you home and kissed your cheek you could see the wish he had to place his lips on yours, he stopped in front of them for a second before deciding that it was too soon. Maybe you should’ve kissed him to understand? You shake the idea out of your mind, just at the thought you already know the answer.

As if it wasn’t enough you’re still not over what Taehyung did today; while you were ordering the books on the shelves he came in and got out at light speed, you didn’t even see him. What proved his presence though, were the 90000₩ that he left to Namjoon and told him to give them to you from him. Maybe he wanted to give them back to you for the shoes you bought him a few months ago? That’s the only way you can explain it. Why now, though? And simply why? Wasn’t it clear that it was a gift? Why is he not coming anymore to see you? Why did he left them to Namjoon instead of you? Those questions are maybe the answer to why you kept spacing out at your date with Namjoon.

You miss him. And realizing it makes you miss the way your heart used to race at his touch, throb at his smile. And now you realize this too; the real answer. The date couldn’t go in any other way, your heart already belongs to someone else.

Taehyung doesn’t know what to do anymore; this last week is been the worst. Watching you from afar just like at the beginning is killing him, he never wished to talk to someone so much. He lost count of the times he internally wished for you to meet his gaze as he looked at you from across the street. At the end, he’s not so sure anymore of what he’s doing. What are his plans? Going back to how it was almost a year ago? Looking at you from far away, but you didn’t know each other. Maybe that would be good, if it’d erase what he feels every time he looks at you. But he doesn’t want to, though. He never felt this much love for anyone, and he’s an angel. What he feels when he thinks about you is the absolute peak of love, the purest feeling he ever felt, and he loves it too.

The only thing that’s keeping you both away from each other is his diversities. The fact he naturally has wings, he used to walk naked, he didn’t know what a won is until five days ago, he likes to jump in puddles rather than to avoid them. He sometimes adds to this list the fact that he doesn’t know what a relationship is made of too; as if things would be different if he knew. That is the thought that makes him shake his head and remove that point from the list again.

Telling to Namjoon the truth does nothing but reinforce what you were already thinking before; going on after realizing you’re in love with Taehyung would lead you nowhere and only make things worse. Even though you only went out twice Namjoon had a crush on you since your first day at work, and it only became deeper for the two years you’ve been working together. He’s hurting more than he shows, but the only thing he can do now is being thankful for your honesty and wish you the best, even if it’s not with him.

Pronouncing the words “I’m in love with someone else” had made you question yourself of when, how did it happen, but the truth is that you don’t know. Finding the exact moment you started to fall in love with Taehyung is impossible, maybe from the first. Not seeing him for so long it’s something that edges you, not just because of his absence, but because it’s not something that feels like him, leaving like this without even saying goodbye. What if he moved? You’ll never going to see him again. Something breaks inside of you, it’s a dull sound, one of those that sound like silence but if you listen closely are like thousands of glasses falling on the floor.

You miss Taehyung. His presence became a big part of your everyday life in all these months, maybe your favorite part. You liked the way he used to make you smile just by looking at him watching the tv, as if it was a magic box full of wonders. You miss the way his voice used to make you feel, deep and melodious, the feeling of being at home even though you never thought about what it really meant. You miss singing for him, talking to him about the melody you always used to sing, about the books you used to read. You just miss him.

It’s been a month. A month where Taehyung has kept telling himself that the next day would be better, he would feel better. But deep inside, he knowns that every time it’s just a lie. He’ll never feel better if he watches you from afar, but there’s nothing he can do about it.

He thinks of Hoseok and what he told him when he gave him the money, but he shakes his head as to shake the thought off. He couldn’t change what he did not even if he wanted by now, and even if he could he would be back to the beginning. Maybe it would take him somewhere, but he’d probably stop himself because of his nature and his duties.

He feels nostalgic these days, incredibly nostalgic. So much, that he started to think of how it all begun, of his thoughts as he looked at you from the shore, riding that boat every night just to get inspiration from the moon, just how you explained to him once. He used to think of you two as two boats, two ships to be exact. Riding through the night, wondering how could it happen that someone who is immortal could feel like his forever without someone else doesn’t make sense, wondering how is it possible to think of someone as their best friend when they don’t even know you. Wondering when did it all change, going from a simple angel that has to respect his duties to feeling something so strong.

That day when he went into your apartment because you forgot your window open, how he felt closer to you right away because he was closer, inside your everyday world. How he used to think of his thoughts as waves. What’s left now? The only thing that soothes him it’s the softness of the cloud he’s been sleeping on since a month ago, the pillow he wasn’t used to anymore. And he can’t get tired because what’s really left is hope. It stays there and never leaves, hoping for that door to still be open, that window, your world, your heart.

How could he know that all of this would end like this? Not even his wings now seem to have the same weight as they used to before this all happened, they don’t bring him as much comfort as he thought. He looks at your bedroom from the sky, and suddenly feels his stomach tightening. If he only could be there with you and hug you tight just like he did that night, warming you up, maybe it would bring you comfort. Are you crying because of him? The naive part of him comes out once again as he asks himself what he can do to help you, still being far away.

The melody you used to sing comes to his mind just like every night before he goes to sleep. But tonight is different, because he feels more nostalgic than usual. He tears off a piece of cloud, not too big but not too small, his hands aren’t used to this anymore but he remembers the movements by heart anyway. And as he makes that piece of cloud almost a soft and cotton piece of paper to write on, you end up falling asleep with your cheeks wet with tears.

It’s been three more days. Three more days when your feelings did nothing but grow even more. Three more days when at night you keep wishing you’d discovered what you feel before he went away. Your days keep going on as if nothing changed from when you didn’t know him, always the same routine and habits, but everything changed. Taehyung changed everything more than you’d like to admit.

Your favorite part of the day is waking up; feeling sleepy and not having a single thought in your mind, it doesn’t last too long though; just a couple of minutes and your brain is already reminding you of your everyday life. You tell yourself that you can do it, and you really can, you’re an independent woman and you can certainly live without something or someone, if you’d only want it. But you want him. You want him and that’s the reason why you ended up falling asleep in tears for the last four days.

Taehyung was the sparkle that you needed to your world, and you’d never want to live without it again. He makes - made - you feel good, like you finally belonged somewhere with his naiveness and boxy smile, eyes full of love and curiosity, as if he’d too needed or wanted you to answer his questions. As if he relayed on you, even if just a little, with his dark deep shining eyes and his innocence.

The main character of your favorite drama once said “Because they beg for love it makes me grow fond to them”.

The wind is blowing more than usual these days, you can hear it even with your windows closed and thankfully - you think - it’s what brings you out of your mind. The tv is still on on some late night show you stopped watching almost half an hour ago and your butt almost seems glued to the sofa so you decide it’s time to get up and go to your bedroom. It’s pretty late so you’re happy you don’t have to work tomorrow, or else you’d walk around like a zombie. You turn the tv off, finally heading to bed after a long day. The house is silent now and it suffocates you, your brain already going back to its habits of dwelling and dwelling again over past memories. You love him. That’s how you can sum up everything that’s going on inside you and your mind.

«Tae?»

You can see him even in the dark, facing his back and with his head lowered down. Your heart stops its run for a second, the same as when you turn the light on and he turns around at the speed of light with his eyes widened. After all this time you’re not sure of what to say, what to look at; his face, his expression, his lips hanging open like a child, his dark locks. Everything about him feels so distant yet so close and familiar, and the feeling is so weird that you stay in silence hoping for him to talk first, but it doesn’t happen.

He’s just as shocked as you, he was desperately hoping you fell asleep in the other room since he couldn’t see you anymore from his cloud, and now he’s even more scared of your reaction since he has his wings shut behind his back. His heart his beating so fast he’s afraid he’ll have an heart attack even if it’s not possible for him to have one. The fear and the happiness of seeing you one more time blend together so well that he doesn’t know anymore where one starts and the other ends, all he knows is how his breath breaks as he looks at your eyes. The same eyes that have made him feel complete and alive for several times.

«Don’t look at me» he whispers, and you almost can’t understand what he’s saying. He’s scared you’ll end up with hating him and everything you had together, whatever it was, and he could never live knowing that.

«Please» his voice breaks, which makes your heart contract in pure fear.

«Why? Are you okay?» your voice trembles. You decide to take a few more steps towards him, hoping that he won’t back off and go away one more time. The worries inside of you die the moment you see a feather pop out from behind his shoulders. Your brain turns off for a second, not really realising until you see another one. And another one too until the puzzle starts to look like a frame and it all becomes too real to be ignored. You only see a few inches, and you think that it can’t be possible, that its just your eyes playing games to you, but deep inside you already know. And suddenly your tears come out like waterfalls, putting all the pieces together, all the things you didn’t and never understood.

His questions, his naivety, the way he used to look at things, his clothes and all the smallest things you didn’t really give too much importance to. Everything fixes together so well that you’d never believe him anymore if he suddenly starts laughing and tells you that it’s all a joke.

Taehyung never wanted to be human before now - not even in these last nights when all he did was dwell over you two and imagine how things would’ve been if he wasn’t who he is, he never really wished to fully be someone else- , but now it’s all he can think about. The scary, threatening feeling of you suddenly being scared or horrified by him - or whatever your reaction might be - brings his mind to darker places where all he can see it’s the life he’d live if he wasn’t born from the stars. The memories he’d make with you.

«Are those- Are you...» you’re stuttering, and that’s not a good sign. The shock on your face is easy to read, and it makes his eyes water and his lips tremble like a baby. His heart feels heavy suddenly, chest fighting to breathe. He can’t hold back, and a sob comes out of his mouth as he takes a step back.

«Don’t hate me» it sounds like a prayer. And honestly, it is. All that he fears is you, the biggest love of his eternity. He fears your hate, your reaction to his true self, seeing everything that made him happy and feel like flying even without his wings being disrupted right in front of his eyes, vanishing because he knows that you’ve always liked the different version of him. But this is what he is, and he could never change it.

You honestly don’t know what to say, what to think. The shock is so strong that you stay in silence for a minute, staring at him with your tears rolling down your cheeks and your eyes glancing back and forth from his face to his wings.

«What are- Who are you?» you sob.

Those words are what make him break. His tears come out without a second thought, wetting his cheeks and making his nose run.

«Taehyung, I’m Taehyung» he cries, the sound of his voice so husky as he cries and tries to speak makes your heart ache even through all of this. Seeing him cry like this kills you again nevertheless, his shoulders shaking and his dark brown, beautiful eyes totally drown in tears, but you can’t manage to say anything.

«I’m TaeTae, just- I’m not- I’m who I was before»

Those words hit you hard, just as much as his voice as he says so, totally lost in desperation and hopeless, broken. Your heart contracts and you can feel your fingers tremble, and for a second there’s a side of you who want to hold him tight and ask for forgiveness, you would never want to see him cry. The other part of you creates a shield, ready to protect you from your biggest weak spot; him. Still, that’s what makes you take two steps more and look at him closely.

Only now you realize that you’re facing him for the first time after understanding your feelings, the feelings you were thinking about just a second before you saw him standing in the dark. And he looks so lost with his eyes into yours, crying and sobbing that for a second you think that his reaction it’s too deep to just be scared of losing someone he’s grown familiar with. Your heart flutters at the thought, and it makes you freeze in place. Will this, whatever it is, change everything you thought and felt for all this time, all the joyful moments and the memories? Does it matter that much who he is?

«From how- how much?» you hardly let out.

His expression tells you that there’s really nothing to talk about, as if he’s- «Since I was- born» Exactly.

«But you didn’t have-»

«Not here. We don’t have them here» he’s still crying, scared from the very first edge of his hair to the last inch of his feet that you won’t like him anymore, reject everything you had and push him away. He’s so scared of your reaction that his lips are trembling and his chest his still raising up and down uncontrollably.

And you can’t see him like this.

It’s stronger than you, even if his wings are making him look like a different person and if his skin would start glowing under the sun just like Edward Cullen, you could never hold back when he’s suffering like this. It tears you apart too.

Your arms wrap around him, so tight and warm that he feels like he’s dreaming. Around his torso and directly on his wings, soft feathers touching your skin and making you shiver at the new contact. They’re soft and incredibly warm, and the sound of his heartbeat under your ear makes you close your eyes to take the moment in. You can’t wrap your head around what is happening, but feeling him like this, after so much time of being away makes you cry even harder. He’s okay. Even if you didn’t see him for so long, he’s okay. You were so worried, so fucking scared even though you tried so hard to keep it together. Taehyung is okay.

And you tell yourself that that’s what really matters for now, because even though you don’t know what is happening, your heart still pounds for him and your fingertips are burning just to caress his cheeks.

«Was it all fake?» you whisper. Taehyung slightly relaxes in your hold, his tears keep falling down nonstop. His chest hurts at your question, wondering if you could really think that.

If he knows one thing is the feelings he felt and still feel, and those could never be fake.

«Noth- nothing was fake. I- I have duties but- I- I didn’t-» he breaks once more in sobs, he’s been holding back for too long; all this time without you and the time he spent with you too where all he did was be afraid or just think of your differences. It’s too much to handle, how he feels towards you and towards himself at the same time, the anxiousness in his body and the fear that’s eating him alive. It makes him panic when he thinks about it, breath too fast and sobs so loud.

«Breathe for me» you raise your gaze, looking up at him from his chest as he keeps trembling and crying.

It’s killing you too, just seeing him in this state. It devours you and makes you want to cry with him too, tell him that it’s alright, that you’re here nevertheless. And it makes you realise of how far you reached, with him and for him. The shock is long gone, your heart already took the decision that his feelings are so much more important than his form, even if unconsciously at the very first step you took towards him.

«Breathe for me and calm down, TaeTae» you use his nickname on purpose, hoping for a good reaction. Thankfully, you see his eyes clear just a bit more as his chest slows down a little, his arms now finally reaching out to hug you tight too. The feeling of holding you close again and realizing that your hands are touching the part of him that he had to hide for so long makes him let out another cathartic cry, which ends up with him hiding his face in the crook of your neck just like he used to do time ago.

Having you in his arms and feeling yours around him is something he could never get tired of, he wishes he could spend his whole eternity like this.

«I just want answers,» you whisper, silent tears falling down on your cheeks «nothing changed, I guess. Kind of» you manage to let out a little laugh, even if it’s unsure and it trembles. It makes him raise his head from his hideout and push his forehead against yours, looking straight into your eyes. His vision is blurry and it makes it all even more surreal, buoi so close to him, your warm embrace around him, his natural self.

His hand lifts to your face and you suddenly close your eyes at the feeling of his fingers on yours cheek once more. He stiffens at your reaction, but lets out a deep breath of relief when he notices you loosening up and melting into his touch, your skin slightly pushing against his hand as if to meet his touch even more. Taehyung smiles, not able to believe what is happening as he dries up your unstopping tears.

«I will give them to you» he whispers.

Taehyung’s breath is on your neck, and his presence is so strong behind you that you feel like you’re about to tear up in a matter of seconds. Now that you have him here you realize that you wouldn’t want to part from him anymore. Even if he’s not who you thought he was. Well, he is, just in a different form.

You can’t get tired of the way his arms feel around you anyway, it doesn’t matter wether he has wings behind his back or a tail hanging down his legs. The stupor is still raw, hanging on the both of you like a cloud, but you know that it doesn’t really matter. You missed him too much, and no matter what you do, what you doubt, what you think of or tell yourself, your feelings are too real and deep nevertheless. Seeing him so desperate, his eyes so scared and lost, defenceless, defeated made you helpless too. You can’t deny that there are so many questions in your mind that you’re losing count of, but you’re still here, beside him through every single one of them.

«Are you... comfortable?» you almost whisper. Taehyung nods slightly, nose taking in the scent of you he missed for all this time.

«Yes» he nuzzles his nose in the crook of your neck, making you shiver and smile at the same time. Little actions like this make you react just like you would’ve before all this happened, and you notice that too.

«I mean, are your... Are your wings comfortable like this? Do you need more space?» your worlds sound awkward, or maybe it’s your uncertainty in pronouncing them.

Taehyung stays silent for a few moments, licking his lips as he reflects on what’s happening.

«They are fine» he answers. Then, you turn around and when his eyes meet yours his smile disappears, only leaving the face of his true feelings. Eyes puffy from crying and lips full, tired and stuck in the middle of both being hopeful and hopeless.

«I wrote something I wanted to leave to you»

«You won’t leave like you wanted to do, right?» you gulp as you ask the question, fear rooting in the deepest depths of your heart. Taehyung pouts.

«I don’t want to leave,» his voice trembles as he speaks «it hurt so much when I wasn’t with you»

His voice is low, his tone cute, childish-like. It makes you smile even if for the shortest time.

«Why did you leave?» you ask in a whisper, hand reaching his cheek and eyes fixated in his. You can see his feelings in his dark irises, long lashes casting shadows under his eyes.

Taehyung takes a deep shaky breath, unsure of how to put all the things that happened and the feelings he felt into words.

«We shouldn’t do this» he speaks lowly, looking away, far away from your eyes, lost again in his chaos.

«I shouldn’t be like this... to you»

«Are we too close for... whoever is watching?» you never thought you could say something like this in your life. Taehyung nods.

«There are rules in Heaven too» he whispers, calm and soft as if he just gives up; wether it is to his feelings or to the rules he’s talking about, he still has to understand it completely. He brings a string of your hair behind your ear, his fingers never felt so good on your skin, light touch almost tickling you and warm breath softly caressing you.

«How are you supposed to protect me from far away?»

«Like I did at the beginning. But I was already...» he stops talking, withdrawing his hand from you and looking down at his feet. Your legs are beside his, and even if he tries not to look at them it’s impossible not to notice the fact that he’s not laying anymore alone on his cloud.

«What?» you ask. He stays silent. You know that things are more complicated than they look. There is a whole world behind him, one that you don’t know anything about; still you want to understand, you want to know.

«I was supposed to come here and look after you from far away. Just away. You shouldn’t even know my name, my aspect. I went away because I couldn’t discern anymore my place, who I am. When I’m with you I...» he stops talking again, fidgeting with the edge of his shirt now, lips still pouting and expression deep in thought.

«Taehyung, please finish your sentences» you’re begging him by the tone of your voice and all he can do is let go of another shaky breath.

«When I’m with you I don’t want to be like this» he admits, eyes now looking into yours with tears about to come out. Desperation, hopelessness and tiredness are the first emotions you can read in them.

«I want to be like you» he spells out loud, heart beating so fast.

«I thought that going away would’ve been the only way»

«So when you came to the shore...»

«I shouldn’t have accepted to follow you home» he finishes you sentence. Silence falls over the both of you as you think all over again about what is the reality and add pieces to your puzzle. The haze is still pretty tight, but you can see the shadows behind it now that you know at least the reason why he went away. You can’t imagine how much pain he had to go through, how scared he must’ve been of not recognising himself and his place anymore.

«Why now?» you ask. He raises his eyebrows.

«Why now, don’t fairytales always talk about angels being assigned to us since the moment we come to life?»

Taehyung smiles sweetly. For the first time he feels like he could actually be the one to teach you something or to overturn your way of seeing things, in the good way.

«We are. But Heaven has many shades and angels are different. Most of the times the angel that lives with you in your young years is too young to be with you for the rest of your life. Aging for angels is different from humans.» he smiles at you, amazed by the way you’re looking at him, taken away by hearing him speak. The concept is so new to you that it leaves you speechless, completely stunned. He likes when you listen to him just like he did to you when you you used to sing.

«We’re more naive and we need time by ourselves to fully understand who we are and mature enough, otherwise we wouldn’t be ready or know what to do if something’d happen in your adulthood, too. In other cases, the angel is already old enough when he’s assigned to their human, but it doesn’t happen often»

«So you’re not the angel I was assigned to since I was born?»

Taehyung shakes his head.

«I’m not» he smiles again at you. All the new informations make you even more curious, the more you learn the more you want to know.

«How are you supposed to live here?» Taehyung shakes his head.

«I still haven’t figured it out. There’s not a manual for us. We learn all by ourselves and see what’s best for us. Some of us prefer to sleep on the clouds, others learn as most as they can and even start living like you so that they can leave in a house and not look suspicious»

«That’s why you didn’t have money to buy new shoes...» you think out loud.

«Why did you give them back? How did you find them?»

Taehyung stays silent again for a few moments, wondering if he should say it or not. He’s tired anyway of not saying things.

«Hoseok gave them to me»

«Hoseok? Who is Hoseok?» you furrow your brows. Taehyung chuckles to himself as he shakes his head.

«Your first angel. He’s been working in the same library you work in since he left you. He took his time to mature but decided to stay here to be sure that everything would work fine anyway even without being assigned to you anymore. He told me to use them to go together to eat, but since I decided of going away it wasn’t a choice»

Taehyung was truly stunned when it happened. It made him feel less alone, knowing the reason behind Hoseok’s gesture. Especially after getting to know who he really was, the dots started to connect. He felt like tearing up when someone like him showed him his support even in something that shouldn’t be even taken into consideration.

From your side, those words leave you truly stunned, wondering how many things in this world you still haven’t noticed, how many people or actions that apparently look like nothing but are truly something bigger. You never noticed him, even his name is new to your ears.

«I never...» you shake your head. This is what Taehyung should’ve done all along. Just thinking about it makes your chest ache.

«Where did you live for all this time?»

Taehyung smiles and slowly sits up, your eyes immediately falls to the wings hanging down, shut behind his back. White and breathtaking, beautiful and incredibly soft to the touch, a vision so ethereal that your breath stops at the sight, a weird but incredibly fulfilling sensation invading your soul. You already know what’s going to be your next question as you sit beside him.

«Behind your tree,» he answers «sometimes I slept on a cloud near your house» you’re left speechless again, picturing him all alone in the dark of the night, in the cold. Your Taehyung laying on the hard ground, hidden behind the bust of your tree.

«All this time?» you’re shocked. The rain, the cold, the night; all that he had to go through just to make sure you were safe.

«Yes. Clouds remember me of home, it’s where I would usually sleep there» he lets out still looking at the tree in your garden. If only you took a closer look maybe you would’ve been able to see him guarding at your window.

«Do you miss it?»

«What?»

«Home»

The question leaves him without words for a bit. Pondering about it now seems easier than it used to be some time ago; at the beginning he used to miss it a lot. He used to desire he could just fly around and walk naked here too, he used to wish for a good bath in the Pearly Waters. Truth is, he started to miss it less and less since the moment he started to know you more.

«I do sometimes. But not as much as at the beginning» he smiles. You can see it from the way his eyes look at you that there’s more he thinks about or would like to add, but you guess it’s something personal and it’s better not to ask too much, so you just nod and give him a bit of time to just stay stay silent.

You take the opportunity to place your head on his shoulder, feeling him so close after all this time feels surreal and all you want to do is enjoy as best as you can every second of his presence, hoping that things won’t change from what they are now. Taehyung smiles at the contact and immediately reaches his hand out, wrapping his arm around you and bringing your body closer to his, hugging you from his side. It’s moments like this that he was longing for, simplicity like this. It may be superficial to others, but feeling your presence beside him, the sound of your breath, the tickles of your hair on his skin or your scent are things that make him happy. Happy as if he just reached the peak of his day, as if he finally found something that could make his standards of curiosity, excitement, love change.

«How did you hide you wings for all this time?» you ask as you look outside the window.

«We have something we take from home with us when we come. It’s dust, made from clouds, we call it Pearly cause under the light of the sun the clouds sparkle and shine. It helps us with not getting sick and it doesn’t make us hungry until it’s on our body. It makes our wings grow. Our wings retract when the amount of dust you used finishes»

«We don’t have a lot of amount. Usually it lasts from three to four times» he explains.

Silence fills the air for a moment, Taehyung gulping as his eyes meet his hands, fidgeting with each other in his lap. The way he speaks makes you hold your breath, already coming to a conclusion.

«This is my last time» he adds in the silent. The thought of not having them with him anymore at all makes him shiver. They are the only things that used to make him feel pretty in Heaven, he still remembers how Seokjin’s ones would look, so big and incredibly white. The only thing that still makes him feel like who he was before coming here.

«I’m sorry» you whisper, leaving a soft peck on his cheek. You truly are, and you’re sorry too about not knowing what to say. There aren’t words, you think, that could make it better, not with something of this much importance. The gesture though, makes his heart flutter and his eyes widen, eyebrows raising. His cheek burns as if you’d just heat-stamped the sign of your lips on his cheek, a little smile slowly makes his way on his face.

«Do you… maybe want tell me a little bit about home?» you ask, maybe it will help him with not thinking about his wings. As you think that, you can’t help but take a look at them, breathless once more. He’s the same as he was before, still you can’t help but look at them.

«I…» he stops for a few seconds

«It doesn’t feel like home anymore» he whispers, fidgeting with his fingers as he now stares silently at the ground. There’s a weird feeling that comes with the word “home” now. It’s where he used to live, yes, but he doesn’t feel comfortable as he was before anymore, thinking about it. He doesn’t feel excited about it like he was before, he doesn’t see the version of himself that he is today ready to call it home again. Cause his heart doesn’t belong there anymore.

You can read the weary emotions in his expression, but his mind is just empty by now.

He knows he’ll never think of his home like his home now.

«I…» he doesn’t know how to end the sentence. His feelings are clear but he never really ever faced them. What is he supposed to say, what are the right words to use, are things he doesn’t know.

He could never think about Heaven as home now, not anymore. You are here and that’s the thought that scared him the most when he decided to be away. Not thinking of Heaven as home anymore, knowing that no other angel ever thought anything similar and that this is totally breaking the rules, that invisible line that keeps everything balanced and in place.

«I got used to you,» he almost whispers «this is home now»

Still, after all he’s still an angel. No matter how much he ponders about it, angels are as plainness as kids.

Birds are singing, the sun is shining and the sky is just like every other day. It is, even though today all seems different. Maybe it’s because you wake up to Taehyung’s warmth on your side. To his arms around you. You can clearly remember that you fell asleep away from him, in fact you’re still in your side of the bed. He probably moved in his sleep. He even told you he’d leave but you really didn’t want him to, especially knowing that he’d probably end up sleeping on the ground or in the cold, wether it is a cloud or the grass of your garden.

Gosh, all of this still sounds so surreal. He’s an angel. Your angel. How can all of this be real? How do you manage all of this, how do you face it, how do you control it? What do you do about your feelings now? Clearly, they’re not going away since your heart is already warming at the sight of his side profile. The way he’s clinging to your body as if it was something he’s used to, be this close with you and sleep together. You’d like it, to wake up like this every day. Feel his arms around you every night, caress his hair to help him fall asleep. Maybe even his wings, perhaps it could be something that helps him relax.

«Tae» you whisper. Today you don’t have to work, and you really wish you could spend more time with him. All this time without him only led to a louder beat coming from inside your chest. And you realize that for the first time you’re looking at him with your true eyes, knowing that what you feel is more than fondness. Knowing that you want to hold him tight and never let go, knowing that you’d like to taste his lips and caress his cheeks. But what would be the effects? Can angels feel what you’re feeling? Can Taehyung?

«Y/N» he mumbles, low and sleepy his voice sounds like the best sound in the world. You love to see him like this, as if he’s showing his more vulnerable side - even more than he usually does because of both his nature and his personality too -. His lips parted and his dark locks messy, Taehyung is the most beautiful view in this world. And you can’t hold it anymore, you don’t want to. Not now that he’s here, after all the time that you spent regretting of not having found out your feelings while he was still beside you.

Your hand delicately lands on his cheek, fingers so lightly caressing his silky skin, they tickle him as he slowly drifts away from sleep. His heart stops when he realizes that your touch is real, that he wasn’t just dreaming again just like he did until now. You’re beside him and even though he still has to open his eyes he already knows it’s going to be a beautiful day, simply by the way your soft caresses wake him up and welcome him to the light.

«Y/N» he calls again, just because he likes to say it. There’s no other meaning behind the reason why he calls you, simply the pleasure of being able to finally pronounce your name knowing that you’ll hear him. There’s no dull silence waiting for him now, there’s your hand on his cheek and your breath on his neck. There’s your warmth beside him and his arms around you, your legs intertwined and your eyes glued to his face. There’s love that you both wish to declare but it’s still screaming in silence, making its way through the both of you even though neither of you have admitted it out loud to yourselves. As if it all could still be a sham if unsaid. You both know it’s true, though.

Taehyung slowly opens his eyes, and he promises that the world only starts to make sense now.

Your eyes staring at him and the way they shine under the light of the morning, the way your hair hangs down onto his chest and the way your fingers still lightly touch his skin. It makes him feel at home.

«Tae» you call. His dark eyes are sleepy and puffy, but his attention is all yours from the very moment he opened them.

«What were you scared of the most?»

Silence fills the room, and only now he asks himself this question for the first time. Was he really that scared of who he is and belongs to, more than your reaction? Because if it was just that, he wouldn’t be here today. He would’ve slept on the ground rather than in your bed, he would’ve loved you anyway, but he would’ve let go just enough to make sure he wasn’t breaking any rules anymore. But he’s here, after all. And he’s still incredibly scared of the consequences that this might have, but he’s happy now.

«You» he lets out.

«Of your reaction, of you hating me and of what would’ve happened to you, of the consequences of us being like this. It must have some consequences, and I don’t know them. I know that I’ll be the one paying for them, but I’m scared that something could happen to you too.» his eyes get teary, voice shaky and vulnerable tone makes you hug him tighter.

«It must’ve been painful» you whisper,

«going through all those thoughts alone»

You hug him now more than ever. Taehyung is putting himself in danger for this, and you hate it, you hate it like crazy, but you know that even if you’d told him to go and let go all of this, he wouldn’t do it now. The question is, are you willing to welcome the consequences of this? The answer comes so fast that you’re taken by surprise. Yes. You are. Because being with him now matters more than what’s to come next.

«You can tell them to me now, Tae. I don’t care about anything else, I just want us to stay like this» you caress his hair. His breath stops coming out for two or three seconds as he realizes what you just told him.

«You don’t?» he asks, that inner child inside him coming out one more time as he looks at you with his widened eyes. You shake your head.

«I don’t. The consequences scare me, but being without you scares me more» you let it go, not able to hold it back anymore. His smile comes through, and you caress his cheek while he closes his eyes, enjoying your touch.

«Do you really think I would’ve hated you?»

«I don’t know. I was just scared, so much»

«Tae» you call again.

«Mh?»

«Open your eyes» you whisper. He does, two windows with the most amazing view you’ve ever seen. You imagine a life without them. The feeling that erupts in your chest suggests that you would probably feel stuck in a world where nothing makes sense. It’s all black and white, without any colors, it’s okay but it’s not good, it’s enjoyable but not what you call life. It’s you but without that sparkle, without him.

«Your eyes are my lights. And I can’t see myself without them. Just picturing that makes me feel lost. I want to know the galaxies you lived in and the stars you touched, I want to caress your wings and understand what it’s like to fly, cause it’s all part of you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to hate you» you can’t find the right words to describe it, the way you feel towards him. The words don’t come out. You just wish you could wash all his insecurities away, take his hands and hug every part of his soul and essence.

«Tae» you hug him tight. Tight, tighter, closer until there’s not a single millimeter between your body and his. Taehyung feels like flying again. Even if he already can feel his wings getting weaker, he feels like flying.

«I love you» you whisper. Slow and low, but sincere and incredibly felt. Taehyung is all you could wish for and all you could ever need, he brings lightness to your dark days and deep nights.

His eyes widen. Stuck in place and with his mouth open, he fixes his eyes into yours, astounded. Those big two eyes that seem to sparkle and show you all the galaxies in the world, as if they were just inside him. Maybe they are, you think. Taehyung is silent, but you can see it from his expression that he’s just taking it in. He thinks about the thoughts he had on that cloud that one night.

Now my forever’s falling down

That line crosses his mind as your words echo inside his mind. He wouldn’t mind to lose it all for you, he wouldn’t mind to lose his eternity for you, cause when you look at him and say such things he knows that not even a billion lives would be as good as living this one with you. You’re his night sky, his stars, his ship and his shore.

«Can I kiss you?» you whisper. The way he’s looking into your eyes is magical, breathtaking. Like the melody of a thousands songs playing together, would they ever fit to the rhythm? As magical as hearing them suddenly getting along with each other, notes flying in the room around you as you share your world with each other just by looking at each other.

«Yes» he lets out in a breath. His heart is pounding along with the rhythm of those songs as you lick your lips. All this time you wished to touch them, to have a taste, just a little one. All the time he wasn’t here you regretted not telling him sooner the way you felt. All this time you loved him in silent, not even realizing it.

You lower your head, just half an inch away from his lips, his warm breath it’s the greatest form of both sin and miracle to you, even if it’s coming out from the lips of an angel. Taehyung gulps.

«Ho- how do I do it?» he stutters. It makes you smile wider.

«Don’t think about it too much,» you whisper «like this»

It’s just a peck, but when your lips finally touch you swear you’ve never kissed someone holding so much love and passion for them. His lips are soft and stay still, it’s clear that he doesn’t know what to do in this situation, and it makes you love him even more than a second ago. You don’t even know if he realized what is happening until the moment you part away and take a look at his eyes. Taehyung’s face is red and looks at you with his eyes wider than usual, still still under you. And then it hits him, and the biggest boxy smile you’ve ever seen lights up his face. He thinks he’s certainly the happiest person in all the galaxies right now.

«Can I give you another one?» you ask, just to make sure. Taehyung nods, but this time his hands are more present on your waist and back, holding you even tighter than before.

«Give me another one» he murmurs, tone incredibly happy and playful, it sounds almost as if he’s trying to do some aegyo and it makes you chuckle.

You place another kiss on his lips, soft and fast, and then another, and another one, and another one until his lips get used to feeling yours and return the kiss. He pecks your lips once, he thinks of the time when all he knew was Heaven and thought of his home as enough. Which it was, but how can he say that now that he knows how feeling your heart next to his is like?

The kisses become fast and playful, almost a competition of who gives the other more, and when you part Taehyung can’t wait for you to kiss him again already. It makes him happy, bringing with him an odd sense of dizziness, but he likes it.

«Why did you stop?» he asks, lowly. Still looking at your lips, Taehyung smiles as he realizes how tight you’re holding to each other.

«Can I kiss you?» it’s him who asks this time. When you nod, Taehyung makes his way to your lips slowly and feels his heart beating so fast that it makes him bite his lower lip. The actions makes you gulp. Taehyung kisses you, but it’s different from before. These pecks are not playful, they are slow and long, his lips brush against yours and make your stomach fill with butterflies once again. One, two, three, four times. Taehyung likes it so much that he would never stop, and he realizes that he wants to kiss you more deeply, he wants to be even closer. What follows comes to him so naturally that he doesn’t really think if what he’s doing is right, if this is the right way. His lips just open a bit, and his tongue touches the entrance of your lips, leaving you with your breath stuck in your chest and your hands full of his shirt. You let him in, and the moment your tongues touch Taehyung moans. And it’s low and incredibly thrilling and deep that you wonder how the hell can it be possible for an angel to even emit this kind of sounds.

He feels relieved, as for all this time he wasn’t breathing and finally he took a deep, life changing breath. For all this time, he’s been holding himself back from fully feeling what he’s feeling right now, this burning sensation of deeply-felt love, even though he knew that he was only holding back because he was already feeling it. Feeling you so close and sharing this type of contact makes him realize how lucky he is. He might’ve not been born as a human and this might not be exactly right for someone, but he’s experiencing it. With you. He gets to be a part of your life, gets to love you just like you love him.

At least he’s experiencing it. This thought and the feeling in his chest are enough to guide his next moves, naturally and without really knowing where this is going. His hand reaches your cheek, thumb caressing your skin slowly and lovely, hiding behind his fingertips just how much he loves you. His hand slowly traces down, touches the side of your neck where shivers cross your skin and then places on your shoulder, where it stays for a few moments. You kiss deeply and fondly, sharing feelings and emotions that could never be shared in words.

Taehyung feels overwhelmed, by your perfume, by your kisses, by your warmth, by your presence. His hand lowers again until it reaches your waist, and this time he leaves you stunned and taken by surprise when he pushes it down. Right against him, just to hold you close, closer and closer as if it was never enough. Your chest touches his and your waist too, Taehyung breaks the kiss suddenly.

His eyes are wide and his lips are pouting as he looks into your eyes, not even sure about what just happened and what he’s feeling.

«So- sorry» he emits, lowly.

«This- I don’t know what…» he doesn’t end the sentence, leaving only silence as an end. You smile softly.

«Do you feel uncomfortable?» you lowly ask. Taehyung opens his mouth but nothing comes out for a few seconds.

«I… I don’t know what…» he repeats. He’s clearly panicking in his mind, you can see it from his dark eyes that he’s trying to understand things that he doesn’t even know. You guess it must be because of his nature. Being an angel maybe doesn’t really get along with whatever he was feeling.

«Tae» you call to get his attention. His lips pout more and you smile again.

«Stop thinking about it. Say it out loud. Whatever it is»

«I… don’t know what I was doing…» he murmurs, cheeks turning red as his hand leaves your waist just to fidget with his fingers, head looking down at them between of you like a child who’s just been scolded.

«Are you sorry for me or for yourself?»

You quietly try to ask. That question catches him off guard and he raises his head just to look at you. He gulps as he thinks.

«For us? For both» he talks as he pout with his eyebrows furrowed.

«Okay» you kiss his forehead.

«You don’t have to be sorry for me, it didn’t make me feel uncomfortable so don’t worry about me» you answer back. Taehyung feels his throat dry as his brain starts to dwell over and over again, but your voice stops it again.

«It’s normal that you feel uncomfortable. You’ve never experienced… this» you point at you two.

Taehyung nods slowly and goes back to fidgeting with his fingers, head looking down as you still look at his red cheeks. You want to hug him and tell him that it’s alright but in this moment you don’t know if that’s the best thing to do.

«You did nothing wrong, it’s normal» you whisper as you try to soothe him.

«I know it» he lets out.

«You know it?» You sit comfortably beside him, watching as he slowly licks his lips and bites the inner part of his lower lip.

«I know it» he repeats, this time fixing his eyes into yours just to look down again after the sentence ends.

«I know that humans in love tend to be close and tend to touch a lot, and to make love. They want to feel as close as possible and-»

«Wait, Tae» you call him again. Your eyes widen hearing where is brain is going. He raises his head again.

«Please keep looking at me?» you ask sweetly. He breathes out and nods as he pouts, looking at you from down.

«Is that what you’re thinking about? We weren’t- doing that now. It doesn’t necessarily mean that every time you touch someone you want to end up making love to that person. People can feel the need to be close to someone even if they’re not in love with that person.»

«But- we are?» he fidgets with his fingers again but his eyes are still glued into yours. You smile at his cuteness and you decide to keep him by the hands and guide him to sit up. His locks are messy and his wings are closed behind him, two or three leathers laying on the bed.

«We are. But not every time you feel the need to be close it means that is going to end up like that. You can feel the need to be close just to feel the warmth of someone or just because you want to feel loved, but not in that way»

«I know this too» he pouts again.

«Than what is it? What’s wrong?»

Silence falls into the room, and Taehyung takes a deep breath and licks his lips over and over again, staring into the void for a handful of moments.

«I don’t know how to distinguish it» then, here comes the answer. And it leaves you stunned again for a moment.

«What-»

«How do I distinguish it? Why did I do that?» he asks, eyebrows furrowed.

«What if I did it because I wanted to make love to you and I don’t know how or what to do or if-»

«Tae, Tae, Tae-» you block him. His words make your cheeks turn red but you know that they’re not something to worry about, nevertheless they make your stomach fill with butterflies. He suddenly stops talking and gulps harshly as he looks at you.

«You’re thinking too much again» you smile.

You stretch your arms out, inviting him to welcome the hug and feel some warmth. He does, and a second later he hides his face into the crook of your neck as you slowly touch caress his hair.

«It takes time. You can’t know all the things now, you just started to experience them now. You can’t know the answers right away. What you can do is learn by what you feel and what you experience. Even humans aren’t sure sometimes about the things you’re asking. Take one thing at a time. I’m hugging you right now because I want you to feel safe and comfortable. I want you to know that I’m with you and that all of this is just normal»

«So you don’t want to make love to me?» he asks, just to understand. You smile at his cute question and hug him tighter.

«Not right now,» you whisper «we have time for that. And I don’t want to think about it now, you’ll feel it when it’s the right moment, wether it’s with me or with someone else»

Taehyung shakes his head.

«Someone else who? I don’t want someone else»

«I was just saying. Not all the relationships lead- Tae, think about now. I’m sure you didn’t do it because you wanted to do that»

«Is it considered a bad thing here?» he asks.

«I- what?» another of those questions that leave you stunned.

«You keep saying that instead of make love»

«It’s not considered a bad thing, Tae. It’s beautiful, really beautiful. Do you consider it a bad thing? Do you think it’s sinful, or something like that?»

«No» he shakes his head firmly.

«When humans make love in Heaven roses and flowers grow. From their love. It’s beautiful. It’s just…» he doesn’t know how to end the sentence again, so he just stares at the wall one more time, trying to figure out what is it that really made him so tensed up given that what you talked about right now didn’t. You can understand it right away though.

«It’s just not part of your world» you end the sentence for him. Taehyung looks at you.

«It’s okay that too. It’s normal. You’ve always saw it and experienced it like something that is not made for you, this too. What we are doing isn’t something that you’re used to do. You feel lost. You don’t know if it’s right or if it’s wrong, wether we’re talking about making love or just loving. But it’s totally right, both of them are right, Tae. They’re just things that you’re not used to do, so you feel scared a little and uncomfortable for something else… but it’s alright. You just have to understand what makes you feel good and what doesn’t. If something makes you feel bad, wrong or uncomfortable listen to yourself first. Talk to me, I will listen and try to help»

Imagining how he must be feeling is something that scares you too; not knowing who you are, what do you belong too, which world. An angel or the human side? That is, you guess, what scares him the most, the real reason behind his reaction. Taehyung’s mouth hangs open as he takes in what you just said and thinks about it.

«I… I think you’re right» he whispers, hiding his head more in the crook of your neck.

«I think it made me feel uncomfortable cause I love you. Not like I love my friends, and usually lovers do such things because there is attraction too, and it’s not something I’m used to»

«Do you feel uncomfortable because you’re attracted to me?» you quietly ask. Taehyung couldn’t shake his head faster as a response.

«No.» he firmly answers.

«It’s just new to me»

«Okay then» you place a kiss on his forehead.

«When something happens ask yourself what is it that makes you feel uncomfortable and why. Talk to me, okay?»

Taehyung nods against you, leaving a kiss on your neck.

«It’s not uncomfortable now» he murmurs. It makes you chuckle and he raises his head to look at your eyes sparkle just like he used to do when he used to sleep behind your tree or on his favorite cloud.

«I love you» you whisper. His smile grows bigger and bigger, boxy and as bright as the sun.

«I love you too» he says. He leans forward and pecks your lips, naturally and taking in the emotions he’s feeling. It’s not uncomfortable, it’s just new. But he likes it, he likes kissing you so much that he classify it as his favorite thing he’s ever done until now, wether he’s talking about his angel side or the human side he’s starting to experience from today on.

Life with you is been heaven for Taehyung. Literally. He would never get back to where he was before, not if he gets to have you like this, in such a deep, meaningful way for the both of you. Just cuddling on the couch, having breakfast together seems enough to stay here for the rest of his time.

Taehyung changed a little during this period; blame it on the Pearly Clouds dust, completely gone. He needs to eat now not just because he wants to, but because he needs it. You had to buy him clothes too, but that wasn’t a problem at all, you loved shopping for him and watch his expression change once you got back home, as he roamed the outfits with his eyes. Before it was the Pearly Clouds dust that used to make his clothes look so clean, but as the days went by they started to show all the stains that used to be invisible to the eyes, not to talk about the big tear behind his back, where his wings used to come out. You were seriously stunned when you started to see the differences, how such a little amount of dust could change it all.

Taehyung’s wings are the last illusion of his reality, still behind his back, but not how they used to be. They’re still magnificently prodigious, great in size, but Taehyung feels them getting weaker and weaker everyday more, heavier too as if it wasn’t enough. You wonder, from time to time, how will they vanish, will they ever? You have grown used to them, and thinking about Taehyung without them makes you worry, you know how much they mean to him. Maybe they will stay, you sometimes think, even though from the way they weight on his back you wouldn’t bet on it. But what if they do, then? Taehyung will have to hide for the rest of his time here?

These thoughts are stuck in your mind from the moment you wake up and see him still sleeping beside you to the moment you close your eyes at night, in his arms. That is what makes you feel better, his arms. Even when you’re overworked and tired, the thought of him waiting for you at home keeps you going through the day. You would’ve never lived with someone after such a short time of relationship, but Taehyung doesn’t really makes you think that way. You love every single second that you spend with him, and he makes your house feel more like home, because it’s his too now. Plus, he needs a place to stay in.

«Tae! I bought pizza!» you call out as soon as you open the front door. You hear him whistling the melody of your song from the bedroom, stopping as soon as he hears your voice.

«Pizza?» his face comes out of the corner, dark eyes staring at you and long fingers laying on the wall. You nod at him, smiling as you walk in his direction to go to the bathroom to wash your hands. He watches you do so, eyes glued to your hands and the way you move smoothly into the room. He’s still learning things, in the bathroom especially. It is one of those places where he always finds something new and uses it in a totally differently way from the way it should be used.

«Wash your hands, so we can have dinner together?» you smile at him. He nods and pecks your lips when you pass him to go to the kitchen.

The feeling of having him in the other room is so incredibly sweet that sometimes it becomes odd. You wake up from time to time, your first thought is to welcome the weight in your chest for how much you used to miss him, but then you turn around and he’s right there. So close and warm, with his legs intwined with yours and his arms wrapped around you.

«I want to work too»

You were so into your thoughts that you didn’t notice him behind you, with two glasses in hands and a gloomy look on his face. His lips are hanging down, pouting as he places the glasses on the table.

«What?»

Taehyung sits down, clearly smelling the pizza from the box, his tomach growls and he raises his eyebrows as his cheeks become reddish.

«Sorry» he murmurs. It still feels weird when his stomach does that. It makes you smile, how he can be ashamed of the growls of his stomach. It’s cute.

«You’re just hungry, no need to say sorry Tae» you kiss his cheek. The answer at your move is his lips pouting even more than before as he hums a “mmh” that is supposed to speak all by itself. He wants kisses.

Sitting beside him, you lean towards him and peck his lips one, two, three times until you feel him relax them and smile against yours, giving back all the kisses you gave him. It’s when you part and he looks back at the pizza that his expression goes back to a gloomy one.

«You don’t want it? I have ramen and-»

«No, it’s not that» he shakes his head, grabbing the kitchen scissors to cut the pizza, he’s still not a big fan of knifes.

«How much was it?» he asks, low tone. The question makes you pout too.

«Why are you asking?»

«You explained me what a won is» he replies.

«How many won did you pay for them?»

You already know where this is going.

«Tae, stop it. It’s not a pizza that wi-»

«But you work and I don’t and you buy me things and-»

«Tae, this is not one of the things you need to worry about. You’re learning things more important now, focus on that.»

«But I want to buy you pizza too»

His answer leaves you speechless. It’s like a part of your chest just started to burn at the image of his once again pouty lips, sad tone dying into silence.

«You’re the one who always takes care of me» he lowers his head, now resting the scissors in the box of the pizza.

Silence hovers you for a few seconds, just enough to make you order your thoughts and emotions. You slide closer to him, chair squeaking against the floor.

«Tae, love» you call him. You can see him gulp, lips still hanging down and eyes stuck on the table.

«You’re certainly not a weight, okay? I want to take care of you. I like buying you stuff and having you beside me»

«I want to take care of you too» he murmurs. Finally, his eyes meet yours, and you’re taken aback when you notice the amount of sadness who’s covering them.

You lean into him, placing a warm kiss into the crook of his neck and a hand behind his back, rubbing it up and down.

«You already take care of me. You do it everyday. You’ve been doing it since the first moment you walked on this planet. You do it when I come back home and smile at me, you do it when you help me set the table for dinner or when you fill the bath for me»

«The water went out-»

«It doesn’t matter. You take care of me by loving me and making me happy, that is enough. Plus you couldn’t even work now, your wings are not doing fine and even if they were people wouldn’t mind their business»

You feel his muscles relax under your hand as you massage his lower back lightly, his arms coming around you. Nuzzling your nose into his neck you leave other kisses on his skin.

«Just focus on your health for now, we will figure out things better once it’s okay. I promise» you whisper.

«You don’t need to buy me pizza to take care of me»

The night goes on like that, Taehyung enjoying the food and thankfully keeping the bad thoughts outside of his mind, and you doing the same. Just closer than before; you eat pizza practically glued to each other, he cuts yours too and feeds you the first slice, holding you tight and kissing your head from time to time.

Days go by. You watch Taehyung becoming more weak everyday more, is wings becoming heavier and losing feathers from time to time. You’re scared, but you don’t tell him. Not until you realize that Taehyung cannot walk anymore. They weigh too much on his back, their condition made them not able to stand themselves anymore and just rely on his back. It’s awful to see him like this. You know how much his wings mean to him, it’s the only thing that he has from home. Seeing their long and soft feathers fall makes you want to cry. You keep it to yourself though, Taehyung is already dealing with too much to handle your crying.

He stays in bed, looking worn out and tired for the pain, wondering how he never realised how much his wings really weigh. He wonders too, why do angels have to go through all of this just because their Pearly Clouds dust is gone. What will happen next? The thought of losing his wings scares him, the pain he will have to go through scares him even more. But as you enter the bedroom and look at him, he thinks that maybe it won’t be that bad. He could finally go out with you and help you more, he misses the wind on his skin and the sound of the waves at the shore. He wants to eat pizza out like you did that time with Namjoon and go back to the library to watch you work.

«Tae» you smile at him, bittersweet. He looks really tired, almost too much to handle, you can’t even imagine how much pain he must be feeling. Just seeing him like this makes you wince. He’s sweaty, hair disheveled and body stiff.

It doesn’t take you a second more to be beside him. When you come back home, before you enter your bedroom you always make sure that you’re already washed and in your comfortable clothes, just to be sure that you don’t have to leave him alone anymore. You immediately sink into bed, careful not to hurt him with any harsh movements, and reach out to him. Kissing his forehead and his nose, you look him deeply into his wonderful eyes, before placing a kiss on his lips.

«Do you want to try again? Maybe this time it will work» you ask. He just shakes his head.

«Your medicine doesn’t work on my body» he murmurs. You feel useless. All you can do every time you come back home is check his bruises and see if they’re slightly better - they never are -. And today, is no difference. Helping him turning around, back displayed in the air, Taehyung grunts and bites his lips, eyes closed for the pain. He never felt such physical pain in all his life. You once again fight the tears, seeing him like this it’s so upsetting, so hard to endure to the point that you’d gladly cut your legs if it’d help him with the pain.

«Ok, now relax» you whisper into his ear. Taehyung gulps, feeling your fingertips caressing his skin lightly, afraid that you might cause him more pain than what he’s already feeling. You count the bruises and remember the colors in your mind, some are fading and more are creating, you shed a single silent tear as he can’t see you.

«I’m sorry» you let out, voice broken.

«I wish I could do something, anything. It kills me to see you like this»

Taehyung is silent for a few moments. He keeps his mouth shut and dwells on what is going on inside him. He’s scared, incredibly scared and in pain. He doesn’t know the next step, what’s going to happen to him, to his wings. Will it hurt forever like this? Will he lose his wings? Will he… die? Maybe angels can die too, after all. It’s just the aching side of him that speaks, how could he look after you if something like that happened. He should have thought more carefully of the use he made of his Pearly Clouds dust, but at some point it would have happened anyway, he guesses.

But feeling your presence makes him slightly more optimistic. He’s desperate for love now, it’s all that’s keeping him away from falling too deeply into the pain. He just wants your touch, seeing you smile at him and feel your fingers through his hair.

«Can we…» he shuts his mouth for a minute. His cheeks are burning and heart is pounding, and Taehyung decides that it’s time to turn around again. So he shifts uncomfortably in bed, you help him as much as you can, his enormous wings laying almost all open at his sides. He reaches his hand out, telling you to lay down with him. With his condition, you had to find a new way, so you just lay between his legs, with your head on his stomach and your hands on his hips, Taehyung looking at you from the pillows.

«Are you comfortable?» you ask. He gulps again and nods, stroking your hair with his long hands.

«Can we make love?» he whispers. He looks straight into your eyes with so much hope, desperate for love, the need you find in them makes your breath stop. Your heart flutters, your chest fills with sadness and excitement at the same time. Of course, you want to. Of course you want him close, as close as two can get, as intimate as possible. It just makes shudder to see how much he needs it, it’s not something just physical, it’s something that he needs emotionally. Something to help him feeling loved, surrounded by love, by your love. The only thing that can make him feel better. So you nod.

«Yes, baby» you whisper back, fingers intertwining with his.

«Are you sure?»

Taehyung nods.

«You’re the only thing that makes me feel better» he murmurs. Those words leave you with your hands shaky. His eyes hide your whole world behind them, and thinking of a life without them makes you feel incredibly lost. You love him to the point you’d gladly give all you have - even yourself - just to make him happy. You kiss his hip, Taehyung still staring at you from the pillows.

«Tell me if I hurt you in anyway» you tell him. He slightly nods, heart pounding and head dizzy even though you still haven’t done anything. Not knowing how to do this and what will happen later makes him gulp, adrenaline rushing through his body. There’s not much to do, Taehyung isn’t wearing anything besides comfy sweatpants, but you decide to focus on his chest before. Smiling at him - he feels his heart pounding so hard -, your hand travels over his abdomen, caressing the yellowish skin and leaving kisses that tickle him. His hands fly naturally to your hair as you kiss him, stroking your head as he looks at you getting closer to his face. On his neck, your kisses are soft and full of love, nuzzling your nose into the crook as you try your best not to hurt him. It’s a little uncomfortable to move on the bed trying not to touch his wings or weigh on him, but you manage to do it anyway.

«I love you» you whisper on his lips before closing the unbearable distance, your hands caress his cheeks. The kiss makes him feel at ease, as if there was no place in the world as good as this, with you. He never imagined someone could love this much, not an angel that already has so much love for everything. What he feels for you goes beyond imagination, no boundaries could ever be able to hold his love for you back. And you can feel it all in your kisses, from the way his arms hug you from behind your back to the way you kiss his neck again. When you reach his chest once more, Taehyung holds his breath as yours hits his nipples.

«Tell me how it feels» you say. The moment your lips touch them, his head tilts backwards and a deep moan escapes from his lips, as if he had never experienced something this intense - physically, he in fact didn’t -. His reaction makes you use your tongue too, and Taehyung feels so dizzy for a moment that he doesn’t even remember how to breathe anymore. It’s crazy, how good someone could feel just by being this intimate. Soft moans leave his lips and his hands reach your hair again, fisting them lightly as he finally looks back at you.

You leave a kiss on the other one as Taehyung now reaches for your hand, long fingers intertwine perfectly with yours when you suck his nipple again, leaving him with an odd feeling he never felt inside the boxers you bought for him. It’s as if all the blood in his body was running down exactly to his sex, leaving him hot and hard, standing almost. It makes his cheeks flushed.

«How does it feel?» you ask. The emotions he’s feeling are too much to describe, too intense. He just nods.

«Good» he lets out, voice low and raspy, breath uneven. He makes you smile, so much your cheeks hurt. Your fingers caress his abdomen, reassuring him and giving him shivers at the same time.

«You’re so beautiful» you smile, Taehyung’s hold around your back tightens at your words, as if he was answering with his touch, not able to put a sentence together.

«You look like an angel, are you an angel?» you joke, giggling as he stares at you from down. Taehyung smiles as bright as the sun and all your rainy clouds go away. Not a single bad day could stand against this, his smile, his eyes staring at you. Not a single dark cloud, not a single thunder.

«Your angel» he lowly murmurs. It makes you leave more wet and passionate kisses on him.

«My angel?» you ask in a whisper, looking at him and expecting to find him with his eyes closed. Surprisingly, he’s staring down at you, straight into your eyes. And his gaze makes you weak.

«Your angel» he repeats. He’s lost into your eyes, making thousands of promises that he’s going to keep. You smile at him.

«Can I?» you ask, kissing the elastic of the sweatpants. The action makes him stiff for a second, but when you kiss his stomach again you can feel him relax under your touch. He lightly tightens his fingers into your hand, making you look up at him again.

«I don’t know how to-»

«Ssh, don’t think about it. You just have to relax. I’ll take care of it» you kiss his hand. Taehyung takes a deep breath and you feel the need to reassure him as much as you can before doing anything else. That’s why you kiss his lips more, and more and more until when you part all you can see is his eyes free of worries.

«Tae, I want you tell me if something doesn’t feel right or scares you, or you don’t like it. Just tell me and I’ll stop. I only want you to feel good.» you whisper. He gulps and nods, his nose brushing against yours.

Your hands move down his abdomen, passing his stomach and reaching the elastic of his sweatpants again, this time getting inside. You stay with your face beside his this time though, just to make him feel more comfortable as he gets used to the feeling. His lips part open when you lightly touch him through his boxers, letting out a deep guttural moan after a second. It makes you hold your breath, you can feel your panties soaked already.

«Is it okay if I stroke you like this?» you ask in a whisper. Taehyung bites his lips, looking down at where your hand is moving. The picture makes him even more aroused, something he’s still not used to, a feeling he’s still not able to control. He breathes heavily.

«Yes» he answers. You do it for a little more, until Taehyung is the one to ask for more. It’s not enough anymore, and that feeling of neediness is back again, the one that wants to feel you as close to him as possible. He doesn’t know what he’s asking for exactly, but he just tightens his hold on your hand again. His eyes begging as they stare into yours.

«Please» he asks. You smile at him, kissing his lips once more and then putting yourself between his legs again. You’re afraid that asking him to help you by lifting his hips might hurt his wings since he would have to put weight on his back, so you try to lower his pants on your own. Taehyung wishes he could help you, but he realizes that he really can’t.

«Wait»

You stop as soon as you hear him, hoping that you didn’t do anything wrong that might’ve made him uncomfortable.

«Just take them all off. You’re going to fight with the underwear too later» his cheeks are reddish but he looks into your eyes anyway. You let out a breath of relief and nod, biting your lips.

It’s all magical, from the way your fingertips graze across his skin to the way his breath becomes unsteady. His yellowish skin is soft and you feel the need to lay kisses on every single inch of his body, burying him with love. Taehyung tries to help you as much as he can by placing the heels of his feet still on the bed, whining when his back and wings hurt so much, it feels like they’re going to break his back just to come out.

You immediately remove the both of them to not make his pain go to waste, and as fast as you can you place a hand on his chest to tell him to lay down. As he does so, you hover him. Kisses across his jawline, on his neck, on his shoulders, on his lips. Taehyung never felt so loved and cared for in all his life. All the pain he’s going through washes away with your touch, with your breath on his skin.

«I love you» you whisper «so much»

His member twitches, Taehyung’s cheeks burning red as he gets used to the new feeling. You can feel it under you, pressing on your sex as you leave a new kiss under his ear.

«It’s okay» you reassure him.

His hands move without thinking too much, just feeling the need of doing so. They go under your shirt, lightly stroking your skin and leavening invisible caresses that are going to be stuck with you for the rest of your life. They make you shiver as you close your eyes, and Taehyung smiles because he can see from your expression that you like it. You like his touch on you, his skin so close.

«Can I?» he asks lowly. You nod helping him remove your shirt, immediately doing the same with your trousers and letting them fall on the floor. Taehyung stops breathing for a few seconds. Seeing you like this makes him think that you’re something bigger than himself. He loves you, not just like he loves everything else, not only more. He loves you at the edge of every cliff. He loves you at the edge of love, at its greatest peak, at its greatest height. You are love. The meaning of it, the root of its tree and the tree itself.

His hands caress your skin, his hot breath hits your neck and his lips kiss your ear and your cheeks, your neck and your shoulder, until they reach the strap of your bra. He looks at you, but you just have to smile to make him lower it. Helping him, you reach behind your back to open it, removing your panties too just right after. Everything is so new to him that he feels both scared and excited, his heart pounding.

Taehyung looks at you, asking for permission and at the same time for guidance. He’s insecure about what to do even though he knows what he should be doing. You nod, holding his hand and guiding it on your body. Taehyung never felt so alive, so passional, so breathless.

Watching you close your eyes as his fingers touch your skin and bring you pleasure, holding your body so close, he realizes that he doesn’t need anything else. Not in this world, not in this universe, not in this endless life of his. Being the one who gets to feel you like this, watch you in such a fragile, vulnerable state. Taehyung wonders, while he touches your skin, what the future looks like for you two, together. He wants to make you his, forever. He never knew he was going to feel like this, not even in a billion years. He was happy before, but this… is something totally different, even for an angel. After all, maybe even angels have angels. Maybe you’re his. And with that thought, he kisses your neck. Wet kisses that mark your skin with their sweetness, he smiles as you stroke his hair and hold a fist of them in your hand. He whispers how much he loves you in your ear, every kiss is a promise.

«Are you my angel?» he whispers as he kisses your jaw. You scoff lightly.

«If you want me to» you let out. Taehyung laughs softly, the most beautiful melody you’ve ever heard. It makes your stomach take turns. He looks deeply into your eyes as you smile at the sound of his laughter, and seeing them sparkling makes him realize that you both are the same soul. The lights illuminating your eyes are the him of now.

«I love you» his voice breaks, suddenly full with emotion. Taehyung didn’t realize that his eyes are full of tears. They hide the pain of having to watch you from afar for all that time, the questions he used to ask to himself of who he was and if he was made in the right way, just for liking a different specie. They hide the pain of someone who’s been scared of himself and the world around him, of someone who gave up, cause it’s okay to do so sometimes. They hide all their love for you, all his efforts, all his questions, all his answers.

He gulps harshly, a tear coming out from the outer corner of his eye and then flowing like a river into the forest of his hair.

You hold your breath. Taehyung needs love, and you’re more than welcome to give him some. You lay on his body, your head resting lightly on his hip as you kiss his skin.

«Its okay, I love you» you comfort him, whispering. You watch him close his eyes at your words, your kisses giving him shivers.

«I’m sorry I-»

«Don’t be, Tae» you smile at him.

«Are you feeling emotional?»

«A little bit» he makes you smile.

«Me too» you admit, tickling his skin and making his toes curl. Silence fills the room as you hear the sound of his breath and let him relax a little. You can’t imagine his nervousness in this moment. You are more than nervous too, but you guess that for him, it must be really nerve breaking.

«How do I do… What am I supposed to do?» his voice is low as he speaks, eyes not meeting yours and cheeks red.

«I’m sorry I don’t…»

«Tae, baby it’s okay» you smile softly.

«It’s okay to ask, don’t feel sorry or embarrassed. Remember that it’s me» you whisper, kissing his hip bone. His cock twitches beside you and you smile at the sensation of pride you feel growing in your chest. Taehyung’s cheeks are even more reddish than before, but at least you get to look into his eyes now.

«It’s me» you repeat, staring right deep into them.

The new feeling is weird for Tae, how his sex seems to have a life on its own, the feeling of neediness in his body, the fact that his mind is craving for something more too. But he doesn’t mind it, at all. He’s just nervous and extremely emotional. He nods slowly, watching you as you get up from his body. Seeing your body naked makes his mind travel to places it’s never been before.

«Do you mind if I touch you? I’ll be gentle» he gulps, nodding again.

The silent seems to become louder in the room as you look at his reaction while your hands reach his naked waist. Slowly caressing his skin, you stroke him and leave a few kisses down to his hips again, until your warm breath hits the sensible skin of his cock. Taehyung’s eyes widen as he sucks in a deep breath through his teeth, the feeling already intoxicating, toes curling. You glance at him, and when you see him looking down at you so close to his cock, all you want to do is make him feel good. Make his first time enjoyable and special is all you want, making him fell comfortable and taken care of. This is something you’re doing together, it’s special only because it’s him, with you.

«I love you» you say, just before leaving a kiss on his shaft. Taehyung’s eyes close immediately, the feeling already too much to handle.

«I want you to tell me anything, okay? If there’s something you’re not enjoying or that’s making you feel uncomfortable, if you want to stop. Anything, okay?» you leave another kiss, this time on his cockhead.

Taehyung groans, not able to hold back. Head sinking in the pillow and eyes shut, teeth biting his lips. He looks absolutely sexy, so breathtaking that it makes you shake your head in astonishment.

«Do you like this?» you let another kiss on his head. The answer comes right away, another moan, deep and incredibly husky. You feel yourself throb at the sound, Taehyung’s hand coming down to your shoulder.

«Can- Hhmph… please hold my hand» he murmurs, eyes still shut. You smile at him, immediately holding his hand tight. His long fingers lock with yours, fitting so beautifully together that you feel the need to kiss his hand too. Taehyung smiles when you do so, releasing a heavy, shaky breath. You carefully watch his face as you wrap the other around his length, taking in the sudden change of expression on his face. His mouth falling open again, eyes shutting and lips biting at his lower lip a second later. Taehyung never felt so good, so physically on the edge but thrilled at the same time, the adrenaline running through his veins makes him dizzy. Your warm hand around him, so tight and soft, makes him feel extremely vulnerable, and he suddenly realizes how much he trusts you. He’d put his eternity in your hands, he’d do it right away, with his eyes closed.

Your movements start and he can’t hold back himself anymore, moaning deeply and buckling his hips. It feels oddly good, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. He never felt like this, he never experienced anything similar to the bliss he’s feeling right now. Knowing that he trusts you so much to let himself experience this with you, makes your heart accelerate. He looks totally ethereal and sinful at the same time, you’re not sure of how that can be possible.

Taehyung has the best of you. Just like you’ve got the best of him. And as you kiss his shaft and his head, watch him dip his teeth into his lip and sink his head into the pillow, groaning softly, you can’t stop yourself from thinking that maybe this was fate from the very beginning. You wouldn’t want it in any other way.

«Y/N» he holds the sheets in his fists.

«It’s… oh-» the moan that comes out of his mouth fills the air, the ache between your legs only intensifies, your eyes fixated on him.

«It’s intoxicating…» he huffs. You smile, your movements speed up as he shuts his eyes and falls deeper into the new feeling. It’s thrilling, to see him like this. Lost in pleasure, his naivety still completely visible every time he looks at you or moans, surprised by the new sensations.

«Does it feel good?» you ask, kissing his head again. Taehyung’s cock lets out a few drops of precum, and your mouth opens on its own. Your tongue caresses gently his skin, licking his juice. Taehyung’s eyes open at the new feeling, looking straight down at you. The view makes him moan once more, he never knew he could feel so good and greedy all at once. It’s intoxicating, from the way you look at him to the way you stroke him and kiss his skin. Your hand moves slightly faster, and you smile at him again.

«Is it okay if I use my tongue?» you ask. Taehyung nods, unable to speak. All he wants to do is surrender. To you and your gentleness, your soft hands and caring words, to your love. With his permission, you open your mouth again, going from the base of his shaft to his cockhead with the tip of your tongue. It makes his toes curl and his eyes roll backwards.

It’s too much to handle, it feels too good. His expression, his moans, the way his body moves make your mind go blank. You never thought someone could reach this level of sensuality.

«Can I take you in my mouth?» you gently ask in a whisper. Warm air coming out of your lips hits his cockhead, and Taehyung tries to imagine the feeling of what you just said as he holds back another moan. His cock twitches in your hand, and he feels to out a soft, low whine, totally surrendering to you. It’s all so new and thrilling for him, and he thinks that he will love every second of it, but wouldn’t it be uncomfortable for you? Or worse, hurt?

«In- your mouth? Isn’t it- won’t it hurt you? Are you-»

«It won’t» you cut him off before his thoughts lead him to feeling self conscious or create problems where definitely there aren’t any.

«It doesn’t hurt baby, I enjoy doing it, you don’t have to worry about me» you kiss his hip bone, softly and romantically. Taehyung’s chest is burning, for both the excitement and the pleasure, suddenly loosening up and feeling more relaxed.

«You enjoy it?» he asks lowly, pouting at you, the umpteenth reminder of his naivety. To see such an angelic expression on his face when he’s totally naked in front of you with his cock hard and leaking with precum makes you smile even more.

«Yes»

«How… is it possible?» he furrows his brows. The vision is too much too handle and you end up leveling up to his face. You kiss the tip of his nose, softly, then his lips. His lashes flutter a few times as he still has his eyes closed.

«Cause I enjoy a lot making you feel good» you reveal in a whisper on his lips. Taehyung holds back his breath for a few seconds at your words, now understanding. When he opens his eyes, he pouts even more as his cheeks grow red. You leave a kiss on the side of his lip, totally drunk of him, endlessly drunk of him.

How could I know

One day I'd wake up feeling more

But I had already reached the shore

Guess we were ships in the night

We were ships in the night

I'm wondering

Are you my best friend

Feel's like a river's rushing through my mind

I wanna ask you

If this is all just in my head

My heart is pounding tonight

I wonder

If you

Are too good to be true

And would it be alright if I

Pulled you closer

How could I know

One day I'd wake up feeling more

But I had already reached the shore

Guess we were ships in the night

Night, night

This night, words aren’t enough anymore. Taehyung never felt so warm, he never knew he could feel like this. Someday, in the wind, even if my heart flies, I’ll wait for you, he thinks. He tells you a million tiny things that you have never known, it all gets tangled up inside, he tells you a million little reasons he’s falling for your eyes.

In this moment, he sees you. And it all comes around as he believed. With your love hugging him, it’s as if all he went through, all the darkness, all the rain finally stops, you shine on him. Your light’s the only thing that keeps the cold out.

If only the abstract could be really represented, depicted for once. If only love could be shown in some kind of really concrete way.

We would see all kind of things, everything and anything, the brightest colors and the darkest blacks and whites, rain, thunder, snow, rainbows and sun all at once. However, in Taehyung’s land love does become something concrete.

It’s deep at night when Jungkook tosses and turns, his usual spot on the grass suddenly doesn’t feel like it’s always been.

A new kind of feeling fills him and that place up, a new kind of energy he’s not good at recognizing. It makes him open his eyes in the dark night, suddenly brighter. An odd light welcomes him, rays of sun shining on the lawn when there should be the moon and the stars lighting up the sky. They hit the ground and break the darkness with a straight line, and right under it where Jungkook looks, a miracle happens. An expanse of flowers of all kinds, colors of all shades, flowers of all kinds of families, they grow as fast as the wind and and blossom as soon as the light of the sun hits them, and as the rays grow and touch anything that is visible, so does the stretch of the flowers. In a moment they become so much that it becomes too hard to see the end of them, where the expanse finishes and the normal field begins again. It’s simply impossible.

The night in Heaven doesn’t come back that night, it’s night but the sun shines cheerfully. Angels awake from their dreams in the middle of the flowers, looking and flying around to understand what changed, what is happening and why. Until, they do understand. Taehyung fell in love. They all can see it from above the clouds, the affection and fondness you both feel for each other.

It’s impossible not see it, not when it becomes concrete in front of their eyes, under their feet, right on the ground.

Oh, how beautiful it is, how monumental, how heartwarming it is to see the effects of love, to see how really it is, to see it grow and blossom and take all over you, live without your permission and just be love.

However, sadly, love it’s not always free.

The angel falls asleep, but he will never wake up again. What’s left of him, only a few feathers, when you wake up the next morning.

When he opened his eyes, dark was the only thing he could see. His body felt stiff, bones cold and wings heavy, but strangely, birds were chirping not too far away. The sound of the waves filled his ears, something soft touching his forehead.

«Open your eyes, my messenger»

A deep voice filled every space of Heaven, heard from any cloud and every flower. Angels stopped their games, mermaids came to the surface of the water, even the waters of the Pearly Waters stopped their path.

The light that followed right after just confirmed everyone’s thoughts.

Slowly, his eyelids raised. His gaze was hazy, eyes burning fighting to stay open, the brightness making it even harder.

«The flowers that have flourished tonight gave your love away, my angel. As much as Heaven is big, almost all of it is full of the prospers of your love. And I know it is pure, but it cannot exist.» the voice spoke again, Seokjin looked at the scene in front of him in dead silence. Taehyung was laying in the air, surrounded by sparkling dust that certainly didn’t seem like the one coming from the river, his body still as if he was paralysed, wings looking lifeless. No one could see behind that light, not even the clouds from above looking at it.

«Your nature doesn’t allow such emotions, both carnally and emotionally. Angels cannot cherish one more than the other, they cannot love one harder than the other. Your nature was compromised by such feelings, and your body did not recognise itself anymore. You are dying, my sweet angel.»

A tear stained his cheek, all the angels looking from both afar and close lowering their heads in grief for the angel almost dead in front of them, for his wings and his soul. Teahyung’s eyes couldn’t bare to stay open, too tired and heavy to keep looking at the shining light.

«You broke all the rules of your duty, and for that you have to be punished.»

There was already silence before those words, but after them it was like even the silence itself fell even more quiet. Never, in an uncountable amount of years and endless time, something like this happened.

The angel’s body was called to the light, it was seen moving in the air as if it was weightless, the dust around him still sparkling as it moved him closer. The cold in his bones was replaced as soon as he moved just the slightest, the warmth that followed right after became too much to bare in just a few seconds, resulting in a burning heat that made him cry in silence. His eyes didn’t cry tears though, blood stained his cheeks as his wings lighted up. A little sparkle of fire, soon became a blaze, all of his feathers burning until the heat and the fire eventually reached the bones, taking them down restlessly. He wasn’t even able to think, the pain being too much to bare as it tore him apart more and more and more each second, his skin burning, aching, his flesh and his bones torpified by the pain, totally numb as the fire took over.

«This angel won’t live anymore. However, your love was pure as love itself, and I cannot punish you for that. My punishment can just go as far as my principles and beliefs take me, and nature would’ve taken care of it in a matter of days if I wouldn’t be doing it now. You will no longer have wings or be an eternal creature. Your emotions had already decided your fate as an angel long before you had committed your carnal sin. If you were able to love and cherish just one that much deep, I am sure you will be able to live as your lover does too.»

«From this moment until the time you will die, you are no longer my messenger, Taehyung. You will live your life as a human and your death will be the time when we will meet again.»

«On my pillow

Can't get me tired

Sharing my fragile truth

That I still hope the door is open

'Cause the window

Opened one time with you and me

Now my forever's falling down

Wondering if you'd want me now

How could I know

One day I'd wake up feeling more

But I had already reached the shore

Guess we were ships in the night

Night, night»

You smile as you walk into the living room, your husband holding your newborn in his arms, swinging her slowly, softly and lovingly as he looks at her with endless adoration. His back shows the signs of your love, the proof of how much you cherish and care for each other, deep scars of a past life that was once there, every time you look at them you remember the light tingle that his feathers used to elicit through your skin, the shivers that used to fill your bones at the contact with their softness.

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

We were ships in the night, night, night»

He sings the words written in the letter he once just wanted to live on your desk, that time he came in by the window and intended to leave right after, his intention was to guard you from afar. He sings the words he wrote for you, the insecurities he felt during that sweet night as he looked at you sleep and he wondered about himself, about his nature, about his feelings. He sings the song you were composing when he first heard your voice, only the words were missing. He sings your love for each other, how he was able to fill your world and make it better just like he did with your song, he sings your life to your daughter.

«I'm wondering

Are you my best friend

Feel's like a river's rushing through my mind

I wanna ask you

If this is all just in my head

My heart is pounding tonight

I wonder»

You sometimes wonder too; how would it be now, without him. If you didn’t fight. If he didn’t fight. You sometimes wonder if this would be really happening now if that wasn’t the case, and the answer leaves your heart empty every time.

«If you

Are too good to be true

And would it be alright if I

Pulled you closer

How could I know

One day I'd wake up feeling more

But I had already reached the shore

Guess we were ships in the night

Night, night»

Taehyung thanks himself as he looks down at your baby and feels your soft touch on the skin of his back. His eyes filled with happiness become half moons as he turns around to smile at you. He thanks himself for fighting for the both of you, for letting go of his doubts and for risking it all, because after all this time and after all he’s been through, after all you’ve been through, he would still do it again. He doesn’t care if he’d have to go through it once, twice, three times, endless times more, he’d still do it all again. He’d walk through hell and back for the rest of his life if that meant that even a second of his next one could be spent by your side.

«Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo

We were ships in the night

Night, night»

It’s midnight, dark sky and lonely streets. The air is still, light and empty. A normal person wouldn’t see it, in fact she doesn’t. But Jungkook does. He sees beside her white hair, what is happening in the air, just above the empty pillow at her side. It’s one of those shows you only get to see once in a lifetime, if you’re lucky. It doesn’t happen often for energy in an another space to be this strong and loud, to manifest itself like this, in a total different universe.

He must have loved her a lot, he thinks. The beautiful white sparkles are only visible for his eyes, a clear sign of what it’s happening in another world.

But the door is closed now, and there’s no way to get back.

Soon though, you will meet again, because you know that your husband is waiting for you, in whatever galaxy or universe he is right now.

Whatever the world, heaven or space; Taehyung will always wait for you.

I'm currently making a taglist, if you'd like to be part of it let me know!

Taglist: @lavientae @taebangtanbabe @jjeoncha @hellbornsworld @anjcrbnll

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springalwayscomes · 7 months

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Not even a gift

Plot: Since the moment Jungkook saw your ass he swore he never saw something that beautiful. But then you turned around, and well, that was a total different thing. The poor man couldn’t even stand beside you without embarassing himself or embarassing you, and evey time seems to get worse and worse and…worse.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Dancer AU, Fluff, Humor, Smut, One Shot

Wordcount: 30k

Content Warning: Jungkook can’t stop embarassing himself, swearing, sexual innuendo, sexual tension, awkard situations, masturbation, sexual fantasies, a lot - a lot - of fluff, Reader with stress issues, overwhelming parents, trust issues

A/N: I wrote this when I was just joining the fandom, last year for Kookie’s birthday. I remember wanting to pst this so badly but it stayed in my drafts because I wasn’t sure it was good enough and I was a little insecure about the ending. I told to myself that someday I’d rewrite a new ending and post this, but knowing myself and how I work with my writing, I know that that day will never come because even if did so, I’ll probably end up with not liking my style of writing anymore and editit all out, leave it like this or delate it. So I told myself that I’d rather prefer to publish it. cause at the end this story was incredibly funny to write - sometimes I would laugh all alone like an idiot while writing it - and to be honest I think it’s pretty good. It’s the very first fanfiction I wrote about BTS so it’s also very meaningful for me. For reasons as the ones I already mentioned I decided to not edit this, so you might find some grammatical errors, please understand that this was the first time I wrote something from scratch in english. If you’d like to read it in episodes I’m going to publish it on youtube as a series too, where you’ll be able to live the full experience of the story since there you can visualize it too, as for the story it’s exactly the same as here. Enjoy reading this one, I know you’ll have fun!

Watch the first episode on Youtube

Since the moment Jungkook saw your ass he swore he never saw something that beautiful. It wasn’t just fit and solid, it was the way you were moving it on the beat, making it look like something he’d die to touch, squeeze, hold.

That was the very first thing he noticed about you.

Keep reading

#jungkook fanfiction #jungkook fluff #Jungkook humor #jungkook crack #jungkook one shot #jungkook au #jk one shot #jk fic #jk fanfiction #jk fanfic #jk x reader #jk smut #jungkook dancer au

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springalwayscomes · 7 months

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Panic attacks really suck. I’ve been trying to fight one since yesterday night, but I’m feeling so anxious and weird. I didn’t have them for a while and it scares me now to have to try to control it. I just wanna go home and sleep through it

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springalwayscomes · 7 months

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Phone sex, Jungkook? The lyrics? The “body to body to body to body to body, you and me baby you know that we got it, so don’t go getting me started cause you know I get hot hearted” part. He gets hot hearted 😩

I’m going feral I swear, I definitely have to write something 😮‍💨

#3d #3d jungkook #Jungkook #this man😮‍💨#he gets hot hearted #hot hearted

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springalwayscomes · 7 months

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Can I have a bite😩

#his chest #he’s so big #muscle bunny #jungkook you’re the death of me #the things I would do for this man #I love him😩

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springalwayscomes · 7 months

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How are you these days? Bangtan renewed their contract, I’m so happy and giddy🥹🥹

#아포방포 #apobangpo #we’re so lucky to have them #I love them so much #my second family

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springalwayscomes · 8 months

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When I read your messages about Closer I get all giggly and giddy like Jungkook does with oc. Thank you so much for the all the love, for real. I’ve been writing since I was a child and to see people liking what I do makes me so happy. Thank you so much🥺💜

#I’m so happy #message me anytime about anything #💜💜💜💜💜💜💜#thank you so much🫶🏻

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springalwayscomes · 8 months

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Yes🥹🥹

Closer: Too Close (I)

Closer Closer: Too Close (Teaser) Next up: Closer: Too Close Masterlist Taglist

Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… closer may be too close for you to handle.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers

Wordcount: 47.5k

Content Warning: Dirty talk, swearing, pining, mentions of masturbation, masturbation, praise, cunnilingus, cum eating, unprotected sex, mentions of blowjob, squirting, public sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, love making, creampie

Author’s Note: Hello, here it is!! Honestly I didn’t think I would write a second part to Closer, I felt like the end of it was the best I could give to these two, but it received so much love and when I read it again I couldn’t hold myself back, they just make me want to write more about them. Still, I consider the first part the main one, you can read that without having to read this. I would add though, that these two here just make me want to scream for the bond they have so I hope you’ll like this as well. I didn’t say the time I would publish it to feel a little more relaxed with the editing but you asked me before and I thought I’d make it on time for 1 am KST so sorry if I kept you waiting! I hope you’ll like this, and happy birthday Jungkook! Take this as a little gift💜

P.s. I hate tumblr, I had to split the story in different parts because it was too slow and apparently every post has a limit of 1000 blocks, so here you’ll be able to finish your reading:

Closer: Too Close, it’s all part of the same story!

If you want to be tagged in my taglist to get notified when my other works will come out let me know here, under this post, with a message or an ask. Feel free to talk to me for whatever, I always appreciate your messages!🫶🏻💜

Jungkook wishes you didn’t look so beautiful. So pretty in his arms, all for him to admire as your breaths come out in soft sighs, pillowy lips so ready to be kissed. Having you like this makes his mind spin. Fuck, how lucky he must’ve been in his past life. He wonders if there you met him too, if it was in the same way, if you were the same as now. You must’ve been a nymph, surely. Or a princess, the sun, a rainbow maybe. It’s weird, how in this life you still manage to be all of that for him.

At some point you fell asleep. In his arms, naturally and lovingly, your fingers stopped tracing patterns on his abdomen, your breath got deeper, your eyelashes fluttered shut, you nose nuzzled against his chest and all he could think about was how much he loves you. How you put the stars in his skies, how you make his world spin. And suddenly, he couldn’t sleep. Not with you beside him, your warmth around him after making love to him for the first time. He just can’t, too taken by the sight of you.

So adorable, he scrunches his nose. So pretty. His arms wrap tighter around you, a soft and sweet kiss lays on your head and Jungkook can’t believe he finally gets to do this, have you whole. You love him. Fuck, it feels surreal. You love him, you fucking do. He’s too excited to sleep, too happy. Overwhelmed, would be the right word.

He strokes a strand of your hair behind your ear and a second later you’re murmuring something in your sleep, lips pouty and eyebrows furrowed. He giggles at your cuteness, not really understanding what you’re saying until your fingers dip into the skin of his chest.

«Koo» your voice is grumpy and low and Jungkook holds you tighter until there isn’t any space left.

«Baby» he coos, drunk smile on his face. You’re probably dreaming, still he can’t hold himself back.

«Love you» you murmur.

The silence in the room makes your words louder even though they came out so low. His heart thumps against his rib cage and suddenly he finds it hard to breathe. Your scent takes over him, his hands feel heavier on your skin, eyes lost on your face.

«Are you awake?» he mumbles. Your answer doesn’t come, silence still filling the air and your soft breath accompanying it.

«Please» he whines, it’s soft and gentle and unexpectedly he’s nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck.

«Hhm» your annoyed moan makes him smile on your skin, just right before he leaves a peck on it.

«Please» he stretches the word out, still nuzzling his nose into you.

«Anno- ying» you groan, raspy voice. Jungkook hums as his lips stretch against you, his hands coming to stroke your hair.

«What do you want?» you mumble in your sleep.

«Sorry I woke you» he whispers. You shake your head, sleepy but holding tighter to him.

«What is it?»

He doesn’t know it either.

«Can’t sleep beside you» his answer makes your head shoot up, puffy eyes staring at him and view foggy.

«You want me to go to my bed?» you ask meekly. You wish you didn’t have to ask, it feels so good to sleep in his arms. Tomorrow he has to work though, and sleep is very much needed, so maybe you should go.

«Fuck, no» he shakes his head eagerly, eyes staring right up into yours.

«Why would I want that?»

«You said you-» you yawn «you can’t sleep beside me»

Jungkook scrunches his nose, cuteness overloaded. It makes your senses wake up just to pinch it between your fingers, his lips pouting when you do so.

His hands travel to the back of your legs, they grab your skin lightly and he opens your left one with a soft motion, pushing himself between them for as much as he can from the position. He takes in your scent and hugs you tight, nose brushing on your clavicle.

«Not in that way» he murmurs, a soft dreamy sigh leaving his lips. Your heart clenches in your chest, now you’re even more awake. You love him so much. You wish you could stay like this all day, in bed with his hair tickling your skin and his soft breath fanning your skin.

He hides his face against you, feels the warmth of you in his arms.

«Feeling needy» he whines, words muffled against you and voice weak almost as he’s succumbing to your presence, cheeks reddish. He hides more into you.

«Needy?» you coo. Jungkook nods against you, literally shielding his face from your view. You stroke his hair, kiss the crown of his head.

«You woke me up cause you’re feeling needy?» you smile.

He whines against you, lips pouting again.

«I shouldn’t have» he mumbles, slightly embarrassed. You love it, like this. Getting to see him in this way, in this state, fragile and vulnerable, all for you to take care of. It makes you smile wider.

«Why?» you breathe, your fingers slide down behind his neck. He whines again.

«Don’t make fun of me»

«I’m not» you kiss his head.

«You can do it as much as you want» you smile.

He shakes his head against you.

«You should sleep»

«Then let’s sleep» you fake a yawn, the tender hand that was stroking his skin comes back at your side and Jungkook wails again.

«So annoying» he mumbles. You hold back your laughter, closing your eyes. Silence echoes in the air and for a bunch of seconds he waits for you to burst out in a melodic laugh, but you don’t, so all he can do is groan cutely, finally getting away from his hideout and poking your cheek. The roundness of it when you smile makes him scrunch his nose again, suddenly feeling the need to dive into the space do your neck again. He lays his head just there, eyelashes fluttering on your skin.

«What are you needy for?» you mumble, your hand moving back to its original place. He hums contently, shaking his head.

«Don’t know» he sighs.

«Cuddles?» you coo. You don’t care if you’re going to fall asleep at work tomorrow. You don’t give a shit, not when he’s lying in your hold and it took you so fucking much to realise that what you’re feeling in your chest isn’t just pure affection. You want to scatter love all over him and give him everything he needs, every single thing.

«Mngh… cuddles» he echoes softly, feeling the word and the way it sounds so sweet when his mind links it your face. He nods, a peck on your neck.

«Don’t know what I want-» he gulps «just want you close»

Your leg wraps around his waist, another kiss on his head.

«Feeling overwhelmed» he lets out.

«Overwhelmed?» you massage his shoulders. Jungkook shivers against you and it makes you giggle silently.

«Hhm,» he hums «still not used to this»

You nod. You’re not either. You wish you could keep him in your pocket, take him to work and just feel his presence beside you for the whole day tomorrow. You need time to get used to this, to him being your person, even though he’s always been. You wish you had the whole day, you’d spend it on the couch and at home out of reach of public’s eyes, still getting used to how it feels to wrap your arms around each other with such tenderness and intimacy.

«Me neither baby» you puff. His hand gets to your back, fingers rubbing underneath his shirt on the soft skin. It makes him hold his breath, it’s shaky when it comes out.

«Tighter» he mewls. You squeeze him, his chest against you and his nose deep into your skin, eyes closed as he lingers in the feeling.

«Love you so much» he murmurs.

Jungkook feels so vulnerable, like he could break anytime in your arms, like his heart is out of his chest, thumping and clenching and beating just for you, all for you. He feels exposed, totally frail and friable, even though your arms around him and your kisses on his head are the safest fort.

«I love you» you say back. And god, he doesn’t care if you already said it a bunch of times tonight, if you’ll say it a handful tomorrow and the next day, twenty times the next week and an infinity of them for the others to come, he’ll never get used to it, never.

You kiss his neck, your arms come on his back to relax his muscles. And suddenly, he’s squirming in your hold, shivers on his skin that make him lose his mind, all the love in his chest setting fire to his limbs.

«What is it?» you whisper. Jungkook nuzzles against you desperately, his hands coming down on your asscheeks. He kneads the skin, squeezes it between his fingers, pushes your body more into his.

«Wanna feel you» it’s all he mumbles.

You’re combusting, cheeks already hot and a drunk smile taking over your face, eyes glittering with love. Fuck, you do love him. So much, so deep, so effortlessly, so consumingly. You’re in every cell of his body, screaming and pleading to have you in every possible way. Your hands cup the back of his head, you pull him slightly to make him look at you, his big eyes are moist, glassy with all the intensity of what he’s feeling.

«You make me lose it,» you exhale through your mouth «feel like I’m going to explode from how much I love you»

You see his eyebrows furrow, the emotions in his stare take over him and all he can do is smile in such a way that your mind goes blank; it’s full of love, full of tenderness, adoration, weakness. Like he gives up on himself and just drains into you and you and only you. His hand cups your cheeks, soft and gentle his fingers stroke your skin, his forehead touches against yours as the fingers of his other hand dig into your waist.

«Lose it then,» he whispers «please» totally breathless. Fuck, you do. All you can do is lose it, succumb, melt.

Your lips push against him, your hands slide between your bodies, your digits caress his chest, nails lightly dig into his skin, so soft but firm. Jungkook hisses, his cock twitches and all he manages to do is moan and moan and moan again in your mouth. It makes you wet, desperate just like him.

«Fuck» he whines against your lips, your pads caressing his nipple.

«Love it when you whine like that» you breathe, your lips kissing his neck. He throws his head back, leaving you all the space you need as he shudders with his hands on your thighs.

«So- so desperate» it’s a wail, and you can’t think straight, can’t think properly.

Your tongue licks his clavicle, you take his nipple in your mouth, suck it just enough to make him look back at you, you have the ability to turn him into a puddle without doing anything. Your fingers link around the band of his boxers, pushing them down enough to get a hold of the skin underneath, and you can’t help but squeeze his firm asscheek in your hand, lips leaving kisses on his chest. Jungkook is out of breath already, ruts his cock against you, fully hard and begging to be inside you.

«Clothes- bra, please» he can’t speak, doesn’t even know how to formulate a sentence properly. It makes you giggle against his abs, your eyes falling on his face. His cheeks are flushed, hair in the way, lips swollen from all the kisses you already shared. You’re so impatient that you take off your bra and your panties without even realising it, his boxers too, and a second later you’re straddling him on the bed, your core pushing against the muscle of his thigh and your hands all over him. He cups your breast, pulls you to him and cages his strong arms around you with such delicacy, as if you were made of glass. Your nipples brush against his chest and a deep moan escapes your mouth, his head spins. It’s you, it’s fucking you. The meaning of all this, the reason of everything. You make him breathless, crazy, desperate.

«Can’t-» he breathes hard «can’t even speak»

«It’s okay, baby» you kiss his lips.

He shakes his head, his fingers intertwine with yours and you smile against his lips as he hisses, his cock leaking precum. You feel it twitch against your belly and hell, you’re really going to lose it; seeing him like this, never anyone turned you on so much, this bad. Only him, he’s the only one. The only one that makes you think that you’d be down to do anything, to try anything with.

«Please» he begs. Your hand wraps around him, his half lidded eyes look at you as you guide him into you, the feeling intoxicating. Jungkook throws his head back on the pillow as soon as his cockhead caresses your core, your wetness mixing with his precum as you let him enter, filling you up slowly and so incredibly good.

He finds himself totally absorbed, rapted by the way you make him feel. Not once in his life he felt this way, loved so deeply, craved so much, there was not a single time when he felt the need to surrender to someone in this maddening, sweet and consuming way. It’s just… you. It’s your ways, your motions, your soul, the safeness he’s engulfed in when you’re with him, your love. He wants to succumb even more, get so lost that he can barely breath cause fuck, you’re the essence of everything. There’s no point if it’s not you, no meaning.

«Love, baby- nngh, fuck» he wails. His cheeks are reddish, eyes closed shut and lips open and swollen, eyebrows contracted in pleasure as you fully take him.

Your head spins as you move slowly, his lids open to meet your gaze and he… he never felt so loved. The way you look at him makes his chest heavier, fuller. He’ll never get used to it. His hands roam your body, his touch makes your skin fire up, every inch feels like an eternity, ink marking you of abstract emotions that could never be explained. He cups your breast and opens his legs just enough to feel more comfortable, bending them at his knees against the mattress, his breath fans your skin. Your movements pick up, your hips move more on his and the way his cock fills you up so beautifully makes you moan on top of him, the angle slightly changed from the movement of his legs. Jungkook digs his fingers into your skin, your hand on his chest and the other supporting your weight on the bed, your hair fall at your sides and built up walls to shield you and him from the rest of the world. His eyes mark every inch of skin from your eyes to your lips, they flutter and close and then open again, dark and glittery they look at you with all the fondness and vulnerability he never showed to anyone, whines escaping his mouth and ending with nothing but dull silence and the sound of your wetness.

He pushes you more into him, chest entirely against his, nipples tight to his pecs, the feeling consuming and never enough. His arm wraps around your back again and he links his hand to yours, your full weight now against him without the support of your limb on the bed. Jungkook kisses your neck, palms your asscheek and squeezes the skin, pushes you onto him more. He shivers underneath you, the pleasure of having you so intimately makes him throb inside you with every thrust, already too close to his release, your moans in his ears and your hands travelling behind his shoulder blades. It’s needy and full of vulnerability, hands roaming each other’s bodies just for the need of having you close, closer, to get more from each other than what you’re already giving. To belong more, to love harder.

Everything is perfect, he is perfect. You wish you could have him like this everyday, every second, feel him this close forever. Jungkook’s moans vibrate against your skin, both of his hands on your ass as he moves his hips upwards meeting your movements. The pleasure is too much, it’s too good.

Your head falls on his chest as you stop your motions, he keeps you in place with his hands on your asscheeks, cock rutting inside you slightly faster but still so fucking sweet and alluring. Your chest is bursting, heart beating so loud that you hear it in your ears, body on fire with the warmth of him, sweats mixing together.

«Tell- tell me you love me» he whispers, a kiss lays on the crown of your head as your head is still lingering on his chest. You nod against him, kiss the ripples of the muscles between his pecs.

«Love you, I love you» you moan. His breath seems to get even heavier, your walls pulsate around him and they make his cock feel even bigger inside you, the fullness too good to be real.

«Love you, love every- oh my god, Jungkook» your whine makes him leak even more precum, your juices together are so slippery that the sounds in the room are totally filthy and unfiltered.

«Love everything about you, every cell of you. Love you, love you» you breathe. Jungkook is on the edge, your words light up a fire that doesn’t seem to simmer down, the taste of his orgasm already hovers over him and your skin under his fingers burns, the fullness of his hands with your flesh makes him feel the luckiest man in the world.

«Baby, fuck» he moan, his head falling backwards on the pillows. You raise yours, look at him to take in the expanse of his neck, eyes glued to your love.

«When you- nngh» he shudders under you, face contracted in bliss, «when you sp-speak like tha-ath» he whines.

You shake, you’re not really sure if it’s because of the pleasure or because of how he looks, how he sounds. He ruins you, in every way possible. He ruins you with his whines, with how much he loves you so deeply and profoundly, with all of him; you’re so fucking in love that you can’t hold it back and all you want to do is explode and fucking let him know; that you’re sorry, cause he hurt so much, cause you made him worry, that you didn’t realise sooner. That you love him, so much you can’t put it into words.

«I love you» you kiss the side of his neck, lips tracing a wet path until you get to his jaw, his chin, the mole under his lips. You don’t kiss them though, stay on them as you speak and breathe hard, moan on top of him as you lips brush against his: «Love you so much I can’t hold it. Wanna have you all for me, only me. Want you every night, every day»

Jungkook is in a haze, his fingers dig deeper into your skin until he realises that he wants to feel more of you, so they travel on your back, one rests there and the other cups your cheek, his eyes stare at your face trying as much as he can to keep them open. You’re so beautiful, look so ethereal, so angelic.

«I want to have all of you. Wanna be your safe place, wanna be yours. Forever, never want this to end» you shiver under his gaze. And fuck, all he can do is kiss you, so deep and passionate that you both feel like you’re about to combust together. It’s too much, for the both of you. Too good, too deep, too beautiful.

«Never wanna lose this» you breathe. Jungkook nods eagerly, he wishes he could say that yes, fuck he’d follow you in another life too, the next one and the next one afterwards, the one before this if he could go back to it. In every single one, every single version of you, every fucking time.

«Not- not gonna hap-pen» he stumbles on his words, lips speaking against you in slow movements too taken aback from how good it feels.

«Loved you- for so long, baby. Not- not gonna lose this, ever» it’s all he manages to blurt out, your hands are staining his chest and they leave love stains that will be hard to wash away, to ever forget.

«Kiss me, pl- please» he shudders. You lock your lips with his and Jungkook feels totally engulfed, loved all over, totally safe and sound. Your tongues slide with each other, whimpers in your mouth as he moves slowly inside you, eyes stinging even though they are shut, breaths ragged. The way he squeezes every part of you, feels his cock swollen and throbbing against your g-spot, your soft lips so lovingly, your scent all around him. Shit, the things he’d do for you. The love he wants to give, the amount he wants to take.

Your kiss makes him dive deeper, Jungkook is totally lost and exposed, every single part of him displayed for you and totally vulnerable, so ready for you to take over. You could take everything, all of him, every single part. And fuck, you do, and you make him yours. So yours that all he can do is whimper and whine in your mouth, his hips stuttering as he cums inside you, body writhing under yours, your walls squeezing him tight as you come on top of him, legs trembling with aftershocks, the wave of pleasure too much to hold back and too sweet to decline.

He kisses you for long, even while the both of you cum your lips stay on each other, after you come down from your climax, when the feeling is still too sweet to let go. Your arms stay around each other, your skins glide and his cock is still so deep, both of your juices on the base of his length, still moving slowly. It’s so heavenly and blissful that all you want is for him to never let go, stay inside you for as much as he can.

Jungkook keeps you close, eyes shut as you both keep exchanging love, never getting tired. When you smile against his mouth you feel his heart pound underneath you and your digits dig into his chest, his rosy cheeks waiting for you hands to cup them as you slowly part from him. Jungkook looks totally fucked out, but more from the feeling of having each other like this than the act of what you just did itself, and it makes you heart beat even louder. Not even a moment later he’s smiling as gloriously as the morning sky, lips stretching and bunny teeth showing, eyes glittering with emotions that still haven’t been described yet by words, the meaning of them too deep and heavy to just be translated in letters.

Mondays are awful, absolute hell for who gets to spend the weekend relaxing and for those who don’t, sometimes you wonder if it’s the same for who works on Saturday too, maybe it would be better to work and relax on Sunday and have a free day during the week, like Eunji.

Today though, it’s especially worse. Having to leave Jungkook’s arms makes your mood drop even before you’re fully awake, already craving for the evening to come.

You wish you could stay in bed more, lay beside him and watch him sleep, hear his soft breaths and linger in the warmth of his body. He’s still naked, the memories of yesterday night still fresh and replaying in your mind, a drunk love smile invading your features and reassuring you at least a little bit. You were too into each other to even get up and dress for the night, your clothes still on the floor. You didn’t even wash and the thought makes you grimace. You need a shower, absolutely. Not before you dig your lips into his puffy cheeks though.

His hair are all over the place, arms wrapped around you so tight that you find it hard to move, legs intertwined and holding you down, your head at the height of his chest. You move slow and try your best not to wake him up, he snores lightly and you bite your lips to hold back a giggle. He’s so beautiful that you feel like crying, you wish you could paint him suddenly. Your kiss lays on his cheek, the fullness of it makes you scrunch your nose and suddenly he’s writhing underneath you, grumpy and sleepy. You still but kiss him anyway, his arms holding you tighter. He smiles as he realises what’s happening, heart thumbing first thing in the morning.

«Sleep more» he mumbles. His voice is raspy and low and you mentally pin to your mind that you want to spend a full morning with him in bed as soon as you can, possibly on Saturday.

«I have to get ready» you say. Jungkook whines, shaking his head and moving his legs, he creates a cage around you with his right one, throws it over your hip and pulls you against him with the ball of his foot. He shivers when he feels your bare skin against his cock, only now realising that you’re still both naked from last night.

«How much time do we have?» he has his eyes closed, lips pouty as he speaks.

You try to move to get a grab of his phone on his nightstand since yours is still in the clothes on the floor, but he doesn’t seem to get it and only whines at you, wrapping around you tighter.

«Let me check the time» you smile. He seems to loosen up his hold and you manage to pass his shoulder and get his phone from behind him.

«I have to be out in thirty» you nod.

He huffs annoyed, he’s not ready to let go of you yet.

«I’ll take you» he mumbles. You shake your head.

«Sleep some more»

«Please? Let me take you» he whines and pouts and all you can do is deeply breathe in. Too cute.

«Will you make it on time?» you blurt. He beams widely, nodding yes.

«I’ll be on time,» he keeps nodding «are we taking a shower?»

Your eyebrows furrow, his eyes are puffy as he looks at your confused expression.

«We?»

He nods again, a peck on the tip of your nose.

«We didn’t wash last night» he explains.

«We’re showering, but in different bathrooms» you’re already trying to free yourself from him when you speak, Jungkook’s pouty lips in deep contrast with the strength of his body as he keeps you against him.

«Why?» he mewls.

«We don’t have time to shower together» you huff. He shakes his head.

«It’s the same as showering on your own! We’ll be fast, I promise»

«Jungkook, no. Let me get up» his arms loosen around you, giving you the space to free yourself. He knows that tone, very well. It leaves him taken aback though, especially in such a situation when a second before you were smiling at him. He stays still, lets you get out of the bed and looks at you as you stand up, fully naked for his eyes. You pick up your garments, check the notifications on your phone. After you’re done you turn to him, push your knee on the bed and bend towards him. The kiss you leave on his forehead makes his chest burn and fill with happiness again, his hands cupping your cheeks as he makes you still in place. He sits up and kisses your lips, a soft peck that leaves its mark on you for the rest of the day. You smile softly and a second later you’re out of his bedroom.

Your day has been awful, one of those that you want to forget, call it a day and just wake up tomorrow. You had a three hour meeting that never seemed to end, one of your clients was rude and you almost ended up throwing him your notebook, hoping to hit him right in the face. You’re not the kind of person who looses her calm easily, but he spurred you on so much that you lost it for a second, your fist thumping against the table. You had a break of twenty minutes to eat lunch and went back to your office to finish reading the papers of your next client, after waiting for him for thirty minutes you called him just to hear him say that he forgot about the appointment. Thank god it’s over, is all you can think about.

Jungkook called you at lunch, his bubbly tone reassured you as you ate your salad, telling you how is morning went.

Finally, you get out of the building, eyes roaming on the street for your taxi. You sigh relieved when you finally sit inside, the driver already starting the engine to take you to Taehyung’s place. The road is not really long but there’s a little bit of traffic so all you can do is stare outside and listen to the music coming from the radio until your phone rings, Jungkook’s name lights up the screen and your lips stretch in advance as you bring it to your ear.

«Kook» you call.

He beams as he keeps his eyes on the road.

«I’m coming to get you but there’s a bit of traffic. I think I’ll be there in-»

«Oh, you’re coming?» you echo.

«I booked a taxi, I’m on my way already»

This morning he didn’t tell you he would come and pick you up from work, at lunch neither.

«Of course I’m coming» he speaks slowly. His tone is low and he sounds definitely less bright then when you started the call.

«You didn’t tell me» you murmur. Jungkook frowns.

«I thought it was obvious» he mumbles. He’s disappointed but all he can do for now is turn on the left and get back to the main road.

«Are you still going to Taehyung’s?»

«Of course» you nod. You wait for him to say something but silence fills the air and you end up staring outside once more.

«Are you mad?» you shrink in your seat.

Jungkook munches on the inside of his lips, head shaking.

«No,» he mumbles «just disappointed. I wanted to spend some time together before going»

«Oh, I’m sorry» you sigh.

«I didn’t think about it, I just-»

«It’s okay, baby. Don’t worry» he smiles a bit. Your tone sounds low and it’s far from what he wanted for you to sound like when he called.

«Just call me next time» he smiles more.

«I will» you nod.

«I’ll be there in ten minutes I think, is there so much traffic?» you ask. The road that you’re on seems slightly more free than the one before, there are a lot of cars but it’s not too bad, you can still move without having to stop every two minutes.

Jungkook huffs.

«A little. I guess it will take me twenty minutes at least. Are they ordering dinner or cooking?»

«Hoseok told me they want to eat pizza» you inform.

«Can you order for me too?» he looks at the screen almost as if you could see his pouty lips.

«Do you want your usual?»

«Yes,» he nods «I’m so hungry»

«You ate too little at lunch» you scold. Jungkook shrugs as he finally turns around and enters the main road.

«I wasn’t that hungry at lunch»

«I know but you should eat enough to get you to dinner» you sing-song.

«Ugh, so annoying» he sighs, a smile stretching on his face. You shake your head, eyes going back to the street.

«I’m almost there, see you in a bit?»

He nods.

«Yes, I’m on the main road. See you in a bit»

You’re about to close the call when he calls your name again.

«Y/n?»

«Mh?» you hum. He bites on his lower lip, a bubbly feeling making its way in his chest.

«I love you» he hums back, voice soft. It comes out too hard to hold back your smile, cheeks burning.

«I love you too»

Jungkook wishes you didn’t agree to spend your evening like this. All he could think about today was how much he wanted work to end so that he could come and pick you up, go home and spend some time together. Watching a movie, cooking, laying in bed, whatever would have been fine as long as he could’ve basked in you and your presence. When he saw the messages on your group chat after lunch, he didn’t think you would say yes but after twenty minutes, your reply lit up his screen and all he could do was agree too. He didn’t want to stay home alone if he could be with you somewhere else so he didn’t have any choice left. As he stares at his reflection in the elevator though, he doesn’t look as gloomy as it sounds. His cheeks are full, a beam on his face at the thought of the reaction of your friends at the news of what happened, it makes him eager to get out from the doors and knock at the apartment.

Yoongi opens the door, Hyunjoo by his side smiling at the maknae. He takes his shoes off and lets them at the entrance, taking in the sight of the room as he greets his friends.

«Y/n?» he asks to Jimin after Taehyung pats him on the shoulder. His friend points at the kitchen.

«In the kitchen,» he answers «she’s with Eunji»

Jungkook nods, his friend furrows his eyebrows and pouts slightly as he nods, as to say “go and get her”. It makes Jungkook lick his lips, eyes travelling to the door of the kitchen as he shakes his head.

«Don’t think so but-» Eunji stops talking when the door opens, her eyes scanning the intruder and then going back to the counter, she stirs something in the pan without even bowing to him, too used to each others’ presence.

«Aren’t we getting pizza?» Jungkook asks as he comes in. She nods at him, his eyes smiling at you.

«Didn’t feel like eating that much, I ate a lot at lunch» she answers. You chuckle softly.

«Yeah, yeah» you move your head to a beat that only you can hear «Are you beatboxing?» you laugh.

Jungkook bursts out laughing, Eunji seems to understand your joke only after a few seconds.

«Jimin tells me I speak in rhymes a lot these days» she laughs.

«Please don’t get used to it» Jungkook titters at her, stopping in the middle of the room. Eunji shakes her head, focusing on the food and he looks at you with his eyes all smiley and glittery. You find your insides melting and all you can do is smile back, getting a handful of the napkins on the counter and turning around it. You walk towards him, Jungkook is about to open his arms at you but you seem to fasten your pace and a second later you’re passing beside him like he wasn’t there in the first place. He sees you walk out of the kitchen and turn the corner, taking the napkins with you to set the table in the living room.

He stays still for a minute, Eunji humming as she cooks totally unaware of what just happened and of his confused mind. Why would you do that?

«When’s dinner coming?» his friend yells from in front of him. He blinks at the wall, Jin responding from the other room.

«In twenty»

Eunji nods to herself, turning around to Jungkook.

«Can you tell Jimin to come?» she asks. He nods, not really understanding.

«Can’t you yell some more?» he teases. Eunji rolls her eyes at him.

«You’re a good friend, Jungkook» she smiles annoyingly and he just shakes his head, already strolling to the living room to get Jimin. When his friend leaves for the kitchen, he realises you’re nowhere to be seen.

He wanders around the house for a bit, goes to the balcony, peeks into the gym space, turns in the hallway until he stops in front of the bathroom. He stills for a second pondering on what to do, maybe you’re inside?

«Y/n?» he calls. Your hum confirms his thoughts.

«Can I come in?»

A second later the handle lowers and your face shows in front of him, nodding and about to walk out. He grabs your wrist sweetly, eyes meeting yours as he stops you in place. You look taken aback, even more when he guides you inside and shuts the door behind you.

«What are you doing?» you ask. Jungkook shakes his head.

«Did something happen?» he questions munching on the inside of his lips. You shake your head.

«Nothing happened. Why?» you ask back. He pouts in respond.

«You didn’t greet me» he murmurs low. Your smile softens his insides as you get closer to him.

«Poor baby» you mumble sweetly, hand cupping his cheek.

«You wanted a kiss?» you coo.

«Sorry, didn’t want to do it in front of Eunji»

Jungkook’s mouth opens slightly, not really expecting your words. He doesn’t manage to answer back, your lips touch his and all he does is melt into you, the way your petals feel so soft and full, the taste of your lip balm so sweet. It’s slow and lovely, your thumb brushes against his cheek and he turns into a puddle right away, eyelashes fluttering.

«Missed you so much» he whispers against you, your heart clenches.

«I missed you too» your hands reach his nape, you caress his head as he kisses your cheek, giggles erupting from his chest when you tickle a sweet spot behind his ear, his nose scrunching cutely.

«Sorry about before. And the taxi. I really didn’t think-» he pecks your lips.

«It’s all fine. Don’t worry» another peck.

«I wish we stayed home tonight,» another one «wanted to cook you dinner»

«Let’s do it tomorrow?» you ask. Jungkook nods as he lets his arms wrap around your waist, squeezing you to him.

«Wait, did you come because of me?» you giggle. He nods against you, kissing the tip of your nose. You shriek when he unexpectedly grabs you by the back of your thighs, he laughs at your reaction as he places you on the sink, your knees at the sides of his waist and his hands going back to your back.

«Sshh» he chuckles, his forefinger on his lips. You shake your head, his hands cup your face and you find yourself giggling when his lips kiss every inch of your face quickly and endlessly, pecks left on your nose, lips, chin, your cheek, your forehead. Jungkook giggles with you as he does so, just the melody of your laughter is enough to make him feel as light as a feather.

«So pretty» he coos.

«Stop, it’s ticklish» you giggle. He shakes his head, leaving another peck on the tip of your nose. You have to grab him by his cheeks and pull him to you to make him stop, your kiss stilling him in place, totally taken aback. For a second, he doesn’t move, his mind goes back to how worried he was yesterday at lunch when he thought he had lost his best friend. It makes him beam against you when you part and scrunch your nose at him, cutely angry for not responding the kiss. He kisses you right back, your soft and airy giggles fill up the air again as he rubs his nose against yours sharing an eskimo kiss.

«Yes» he blurts out stilling. You raise your eyebrows confused.

«I came because of you. Why did you agree? Couldn’t we stay at home?» he whines.

«Usually we don’t go to places together if we don’t feel like it» you wonder. Jungkook parts a little.

«We don’t. But I thought- after what happened yesterday I thought-» he stutters a bit «we could stay home and- I don’t know» he looks down.

«I wanted to be with you and… don’t know, whatever would’ve been good»

«Oh» you let out. Jungkook doesn’t budge in front of you, eyes back on your face and expression a bit disappointed.

«Baby, I’m really sorry. I suck, sorry» you murmur «I’m sorry about the taxi and before and this too. It’s just- it’s new and- I thought about staying home too and I wanted it a lot but- I don’t know, we didn’t talk about it and when Taehyung asked I just said yes out of habit. I thought you wanted to come, I should’ve-»

«Hey stop, stop» he rubs his nose against yours once more.

«It’s okay» he kisses the tip.

«It just hurts a bit cause I thought that you didn’t want to stay home? Like- of course you would want to spend time with our friends but- after what happened I thought we both wanted to be with each other and- just-»

«I want to. I really, really want to. Really» you nod.

«I thought about you all day long. I had a shitty day and what got me through it was the thought of coming home to you. I wanted to cuddle or just do anything too. I don’t know, when he asked I just- I’m not good at this yet. Like, I don’t think I can balance our relationship yet. I’m used to us being friends and spending time like this, I didn’t think you would mind coming here cause that’s what we usually do, I said yes cause I thought you would want to come. I’m - I’m sorry» your rant comes to an end and you’re out of breath, Jungkook’s lips are fighting a smile as he tries to stay lucid for a second.

«We need to communicate better,» he sighs, the smile taking over him «definitely» he adds.

«I’ll tell you about my plans and you can tell me yours. It’s better, isn’t it?» his forehead touches yours as his arms wrap around you, he pushes himself to you, hugging you tight and never wanting to let go. You hum on his face, slightly nodding for as much as the position allows.

«So, will we do that tomorrow? Stay home?» you mumble.

«If you want to» he breathes. You nod eagerly, parting from him.

«Thanks god, yes I want to. Wanted to stay home today too» you giggle. Jungkook loses his sanity, your essence invades every cell of him and makes them go crazy with affection.

«Do you want to leave?» he chuckles.

«You think we could? I mean- wouldn’t it be weird?»

«Why would it?» he kisses your cheek. You use your feet to bring him closer, wrapping your legs around him and when he looks at you his eyes are full of tenderness.

«They don’t know yet» you shrug.

«We could just be tired. And we could tell them» he whispers, his fingers brush away a hair that’s about to come in the way of your eye. You hold his wrist and stop his movement, the soft kiss that you lay on the back of his hand makes his mind weak and the way you intertwine your fingers with his it’s even worse.

«Do you really want to leave?» you ask. He raises his eyebrows.

«After dinner? We eat and go» he mumbles. It makes you laugh, it’s totally a Jungkook thing to do.

«Never say no to pizza» you joke, his cheeks getting fuller as he stares at you with his big dark eyes.

«I would now, but Tae payed for them. It would be rude»

«I know, I was just joking. When you’re hungry you malfunction, usually» you explain. He blows on your face faking annoyance.

«Let’s go home after we eat» you nod. He pecks your lips happily.

«Great» he chimes, bunny teeth showing from how wide he’s smiling.

«Can I get another kiss?»

You don’t even let him take in your actions, already pulling him to you and placing your lips on his, totally rushed and needy to feel the softness of his petals. He moans against you, your tongue slides inside his mouth and you feel like on the edge of a cliff with your heart in your throat and your senses tingling. You cradle his hair with your fingers, caress his head as you deepen the kiss, eyes closed. Jungkook feels himself getting closer to losing his hold on the world with you fitting so sweetly in his arms. If he thinks he has to let go to go back to the living room all he wants to do is lead you to the front door and get you to his car to take you home and just bask in your presence.

He lingers in the sensation more, not ready to let go yet.

«Baby» he whimpers against you when you slightly dig your teeth in his lower lip.

«I love you» you murmur.

And fuck, it makes him really lose it. His breath gets cut off, jaw clenching as he breathes in deeper. It’s so good when you say it, sounds so beautiful, so melodic. He can’t believe it’s for him, his ears to hear.

«Love you» you repeat, hands on his shoulder blades and nose bumping into his. He smiles with his eyes shut, cheeks staining of a faint shade of red as his mind gets filled with the need of having you close.

«Can- can you… do you want to…» he doesn’t end his sentence, he looks away from you as he munches on his lips nervously. The sudden shift of his behaviour makes you frown in confusion.

«What?» you coo. Jungkook shakes his head.

«Nothing, let’s go out?» he tries. He sees you, narrowing your eyes at him and trying to understand what he’s thinking about, lips contracted in the slightest scowl.

«Love» you call. He shuts his eyes, the nickname still makes him uneasy with the emotions in his chest, all soft and mushy.

«Tell me»

«I…» he licks his lips, «I want you» he murmurs, his eyes meeting yours again. Silence fills the air, his skin burns in worry and embarrassment with the new information he just let out, mind spinning to try and catch the slightest hint of discomfort in your features.

«Now? Here?» you’re taken aback, and Jungkook can hear it loud and clear, of course you would be. It would be better to just go back and wait for the pizza with the others, they’re probably looking for you at this point.

«I’m sorry, let’s just- go back and-»

«Come here» you smile, grabbing him by his hips and pulling him to you. His eyes widen, his body is totally limp as you keep him close.

«What do you want?» you huff happily. He breathes in through his teeth, chest feeling too tight and weary to hold back the maddening beating of his heart.

«Can’t you tell?» he exhales, slightly getting brave and pushing himself between your legs. His cock is half hard, you feel it against your trousers and god, does it do things to you. You wish you would be home already.

«Not really» you bluffer. He scoffs, the air coming out of his nose fans your face.

His hands grab the flesh of your thighs, his cheeks are still painted of a fair shade or red.

«Want you close» he hums. With you, it’s always like this, always the need of being closer. You fill all his senses, all the space, every inch of him until all he can do is crave and yearn and lose himself, trying to keep his mind lucid with little might.

«We’re quite close» you smile. He whines and closes his eyes, so annoying.

«Let’s just go back» he mumbles, skin burning and chest divided in two between giving up on his shyness and just tell you he wants to bury himself deep inside you and feel every inch of your skin and open the door to the outside world.

«Please? I want to hear you say it» you mewl. Your tone makes his inner battle pointless, his digits dig into you.

«Wanna be inside you,» he breathes «feel you so close»

It’s all you need to hear. Your lips touch his, soft petals parting for you without even having to ask for permission, totally giving up on his rationality. You hum in his mouth and smile against him and Jungkook feels himself growing harder already, you do things to him that make him bewildered. How you manage to get him hard just by doing nothing is a mystery that he doesn’t want to answer, not when you don’t mind at least. And you don’t seem to do so, cause your hand is cupping him through his trousers, and fuck, he gets as hard as a rock. The whine that he lets out in your mouth makes you just as desperate as he is, and when he ruts his hips against your hand you know that there’s no going back.

«Please» he begs. Your hands move fast, almost as if you didn’t have time to lose, cause you really don’t have it. Unbuckling his belt and then opening the button and the fly of his jeans, he watches you as your attention shifts on the garment, your lips pouty and focused and eyes fixed on your task, he really believes that he might die just from the sight of you. So beautiful, so pretty, so his. Fucking his. The thought makes him bite his lips harshly, hips stuttering against your hands. You hum a soft titter, let your eyes travel to his.

«Give me a second» you smile, pecking his lips sweetly. He nods with his mind empty, totally entranced by the feeling of your fingers linking around the band of his boxers and pushing the fabric down with his jeans, the cloths follow the curve of his hips without you even having to focus on it too much. They stay midway on his thighs and he’s already grabbing you by the back of your thighs, carefully raising you on the counter.

«Take ‘em off» he huffs. His strength makes you quiver as you unbutton your sailor pants, your heels tracing the back of his legs as you move. He holds back a moan when your hand bumps against his cockhead while you lower your zip, puts you back on the counter after you lower them a bit on your back, the position too uncomfortable to take them off. He helps you lower them on your thighs until they eventually fall on your ankles, the wide cut leg not helpful at all. And god have mercy, fuck, when he sees your panties the grunt that comes out of his throat makes you shiver, the red lace unbearable to his sanity.

«Shit, I love them» he breathes. Your snort makes him giggle lightly and his eyes move from them to your face and then back to the material between your thighs.

«Really?» you coo. He nods fervently, lets his hand slide between your legs to cup your core from your panties, hissing through his teeth at the contact.

«Fuck, yes. I love them. I love you, you’re perfect» his sentences are rushed, he sounds almost childish before he kisses you with need, his lips against you as his other limb comes to the side of you to balance his weight while he slightly pushes you backwards.

«Mine, mine. All mine» he wheezes. There’s the glittery glow of a feeling inside you that squeezes its presence around your clenching heart, heavy but fluttering it makes you nod with all your belief as you feel his fingers push your panties to the side. His thumb brushes against your clit and all you can do is bite your lips and try as much as you can not to moan, your arms wrapping behind his neck. Jungkook smiles, kisses you more.

«Want you, please» you beg. He wouldn’t decline you even in another life and his cock is too hard to even think about it, it’s twitching and leaking precum and all he wants to do is mix it with your juices and make you feel good, feel you close and wrapped around him.

«Please, inside»

«Open your legs a bit» he instructs, eyes soft as he watches you do so. He lays his forehead against yours, holds his cock from the base as he pushes himself between your thighs and guides it to your entrance. His cockhead slides between your pussy lips and he can’t hold back, moans out loud and throws his head back at your softness, your juices covering him. Every time, every fucking time you make him feel helpless. You kiss the column of his neck, lower your hands on his asscheeks, squeeze his skin in your palms.

«We need to be quiet» you whisper. He knows. Fuck, he knows but it’s too much. He doesn’t think he can do it, you’re too perfect, too good to him. He huffs a breath and looks at you, cheeks a bit reddish.

«Sorry, feels too good» he keens. Your beam makes him smile and he gets back to his ministrations with his lips getting bitten by his teeth, eyes on your face that make you want to lose your calm as he repeats to himself that he needs to stay quiet. His cock is heavy, throbbing against you and practically begging for your walls to squeeze him tight and you can’t wait to feel him closer, feel his skin against yours and his breath rough. Even as he digs into you your eyes stay on his face, his pupils into yours.

It’s so saccharine that you feel like all the world is made of stars, of his essence, his comfort. He fills you up so good, the stretch slightly uncomfortable but always so ravishing inside you, you can feel every movement, every throb of him and your walls are so eager that they instantly tighten around him and his brain shuts down.

«Baby, if you do that- I don’t think I… shit, too good» he mewls. You take off one of your heels with the help of the tip of your other shoe, the right one following right after. Your pants slip totally down now without the support of the shoes holding their cloth from underneath, they land in front of Jungkook’s feet and you dig your calves in the back of his legs, too eager to have him closer, your arms on his back make his chest weigh over yours until he’s as linked to you as he can, breasts pressing against him.

«God, shit. I love you» the way he blurts it out makes your breath halt, your heart flutters and shakes at the same time. He watches your lips turning into a beam, your neediness reaching peaks you didn’t think were possible.

He moves inside you, his waist ruts against yours in little movements almost as if to part from the warmth you’re providing him would be a crime, his arms holding you up from behind your back and your shoulder blade. The position is new, the pleasure skyrocketing in such little time that the both of you are panting in quiet breaths in a matter of seconds. Having him so close supporting you as he moves slowly, his eyes on your face as you moan silently, his breath uneven, the pleasure taking over his features, it feels like safeness. Like a shelter from the world, a new pot to grow your roots in, to bloom flowers and plant new seeds, protected and shielded by his arms and the way his fingers dig into your skin and write silent promises that only you and him can read.

«I love you too» you let out. Jungkook kisses you again, he pushes you more towards the edge of the sink with his hands and goes back to properly holding you up, lips brushing against you as he pushes inside you. The new found closeness makes you even more eager, your hands digging deeper into his asscheeks.

«So good, feels so good» you whisper.

«Yeah? Like this? You like it like this?» he puffs out. Your walls engulf him so good that he feels all of his might crumble, his breath ragged as he ruts inside you. You nod breathless, throwing your head back.

Jungkook looks at your face from the mirror and even though he can’t see it all, it makes him ache more, longing for you even though you’re all for him already. It turns him crazy, overwhelmed every time, never enough.

«So good, yes. I love it» you whine under your breath. The sounds are muffled, the only things hearable your breaths and the wet sounds coming from his cock filling you up and his balls slapping against your ass, moans soft and as quiet as possible. Jungkook drowns every second more into you, it can’t be stopped and all he can do is be honest with it and let your love take over him even as he pounds softly into you in the bathroom. Where you are doesn’t change it; what you’re doing, the way he loves you, how much he wishes he could melt into you and mix in every way possible. You test his limits, pull him along, ruin him in every way possible, it’s sweet and consuming and he only wants to have more, his hand warm as he cups your cheek and kisses you deeper, only for you.

«Fuck. Are you really mine? All mine, only for me» he whispers. His words send you on the edge, walls pulsating around him, way too much pleasure filling up every nerve of your body.

«I promise. Only you, Jungkook» you dig your face in the crook of his neck, pressing your lips into his skin and trying to hold back your sounds for as much as you can. His movements make you bounce a little, the air seems to get thicker and heavier and the feeling of being so close pushes you over the edge, the thought of needing each other so desperately that you actually find yourself in this type of situation makes you dizzy and weak, so much that you contract around him and cum in spasms. Your body trembles as he whines out loud not able to hold back, his cum bursting out of his cock as his hand cups the back of your head and fumbles with your hair. The amount of cum he leaks seems to be unstoppable, so much that for a second he fears that it will spill out of you and spoil the sink even while he’s still on his high, his knees wobbly and his chest heavy as he holds you so tight that you feel the beat of his heart against yours.

He stays silent, listens to your breaths uneven and feels the way your walls clench from time to time, his cock buried inside you still half hard. Jungkook doesn’t know what to do with himself and what he’s feeling, these emotions are too much to handle, but all he knows is that the closer he gets the closer he wants to be. So he keeps you close, just like he always did for all these years but with a new intimacy in which you both linger in, totally fragile and exposed for each other. Only when his fingers trace the back of your neck you realise that your cheeks are stained with tears, eyes burning as you open them again.

You love him, you wish there was a better word to describe it but it hasn’t been invented yet, you think there will never be one strong and heavy enough to describe what you feel for this man, your best friend and finally, your lover. You love him so deeply and without conjectures and presumptions, you love him behind words, behind actions, you just love him. So much that it’s hard to control it, you wonder how the hell didn’t you notice, how couldn’t you realise that for all these years this was already there. How is it possible, to be so blind? To have love in your pot, soul, water, roots intertwined and feel support deep in every single part of your leaves but not realise that it’s just because there’s him keeping you up with his.

«Baby» he calls, his hand strokes your back as you sniff, your nose digs into the skin of his neck. Panic takes over him, heart beating loudly and fear filling up his eyes.

«Did I- god, did I hurt you? I’m so- fuck, I didn’t notice, I’m so sor-»

«No» you shake your head slightly, your hands hugging his back tight.

«Nothing happened, I’m sorry» you kiss his skin.

«Just feeling overwhelmed. Keep hugging me?» you snuffle. His heart throbs, arms immediately wrapping tighter around you as the fright in his chest summers down. He breathes in your scent, massages your back, kisses your shoulders and the skin of your neck he manages to reach.

«I got you» he strokes your hair.

«I always got you» he promises. The words make you inhale deeply, your chest is on the verge of exploding but the tears on your cheeks are drying. He keeps you so close that at some point you find it hard to picture you standing to leave the bathroom, craving for his warmth even though you haven’t left it yet.

«I love you» he rustles. You nod.

«I love you too. A fucking lot»

It makes him guffaw and it’s so hearty and free that your heart feels like it’s getting washed and made brand new only to reach a new peak in loving him, more than before.

His chest rumbles against yours, your giggles filling up the air too. You wonder if your friends are waiting for you, asking themselves where the hell did you go, why would you vanish away like that, if they heard anything; still, it’s too good to let go yet. Even when Jungkook places his hands on your shoulders and lightly tugs you to look you in the eyes, even when he brushes a strand away from your face, even if the overwhelming feeling summered down a little, even if he smiles at you and your chest feels lighter.

«What do you feel?» he asks.

«Love» it’s the only thing that comes to your mind.

«I feel love, all over and all inside and it’s overwhelming but so good. I love it, I love you» you rant. His cheeks fill up, cheekbones high and eyes made of stars.

«I feel better,» you let him know «I think we can go?»

«Let’s get cleaned up and eat, wanna cuddle when we go home» he hums. You shake your head yes, Jungkook pecks your lips but doesn’t budge when you rest your hands on his hips.

«Koo, we need to go» you smile amused.

«Sorry, feels good being inside you» he sighs. He guides his cock out of you, takes a good look at your pussy before closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, his chest swells up and you can’t hold back your laughter.

«That good?»

«More than you can imagine» he laughs.

You’re about to jump down from the sink to get a tissue when he stops you by placing his hands at your sides.

«Let me do it?» he quietly chimes. You nod shyly, the action new. Of all the times you had sex, this never happened most probably because after coming down from your highs all you did was lay just a bunch of minutes on his chest, running away the seconds right after cause it was too intimate to stay more. He didn’t get the chance to bask in these moments fully, take care of you in the way he craved for, in the way he wanted. Last night too, you were too spent to even think about washing, when he woke you up at three am feeling needy it was pretty much just the same. But now, now that he gets to do it, it makes your cheeks burn. It’s so intimate and chaste and when he lowers with the paper between his fingers all you can do is look at his expression focused, his lips pouting and eyebrows cocked, his other hand resting on your thigh. The tissue dries your juices and his, he watches as the last drop of his cum leaks out from your entrance and for a moment all he wants to do is wipe it with his finger and lead it to your mouth but he restrains himself and absorbs it with the paper instead.

«Gonna wash you clean when we get home» he hums. You shake your head, feeling slightly tipsy with him.

«Let’s go?» you ask. He raises up, cleans himself with another tissue as best as he can and puts his boxers back in place with his jeans, he does the same with your panties and your sailor pants, helps you zip them up and close the button when you finally stand. When you put your heels back on he lays a kiss on the crown of your head and takes you by the hand, all smiley and as soft as a cloud. He doesn’t expect you to leave his hand when he opens the door of the bathroom.

«Wait a bit?» you coo. He stands still, blinks at your face taken aback. He just nods, and a second later you’re turning around the corner.

Your friends are all over the place, Hyunjoo and Yoongi laughing with Eunji, Jimin and Taehyung drinking on the sofa and apparently not a sight of the food on the table yet.

«Dinner?» you ask. Jin’s eyes widen.

«Yah! Where were you?» he exclaims, patting your shoulder. You shrug.

«Went to the bathroom, my stomach hurt»

«Oh, did you eat well at lunch?»

You’re about to answer him but a second later your attention gets taken by your friend on the couch.

«Jungkookah!» Taehyung yells, eyes on the younger man as he strolls into the living room.

«Where have you been?»

«Bathroom» he simply mumbles. Jin’s eyes widen by your side, lips sealed shut after he licks them and tries to hide a smile. You’re two idiots, could’ve at least make up something before coming out. Nevertheless, he pretends that he didn’t hear anything.

Your cheeks burn and suddenly you want to dig a hole and hide yourself in it.

«The delivery is running late» he informs you. You don’t really know what to do with the information, especially when your eyes meet Jungkook’s and he shies away sitting on the couch and turning to Taehyung.

The ride home is short, the traffic not a burden anymore and the music filling up the car light, your window open and the soft breeze tickles your skin just in the right way. Jungkook looks at you from time to time, a beam lighting up his features. Despite the fact that he felt a little disappointed before when you let go of his hand and acted like nothing happened between you at all for the whole time you were at your friends’ place, he doesn’t talk about it. It’s all new, fresh and you both need time to adjust to each other, he guesses. Especially with other people around. It was enough when you talked in the bathroom before. He just hopes that he will get the chance to show you affection in public too, in general. Being like you were before you faced your feelings for each other is beautiful, it makes him realise that what you have is deeper than what it seems, but he still wishes he could act like the person who loves you.

So for now, he thinks he just wants to face what matters the most; what happens with closed doors, the things only him and you know.

His hand caresses your thigh as he enters the parking lot, a cheeky bunny smile spreads on his lips.

«You still want to cuddle?»

Your answer isn’t one of those that simply are made of words. No, you have to wrap your fist around his heart and make it stop beating, just to make it go crazy when it starts again. You bend over, lips smacking against his cheek loudly, the kiss one of those that usually little kids would give to their parents, playful and childish enough to turn him into a puddle. Jungkook stops the car as he’s about to park, turns around and stares you with his eyes wide open as if you had three heads. The unsettlement in his features slowly changes into realisation and then into mischief, until he huffs and decides to finish his initial ministration. He parks the car, turns down the engine, stays still and silent on his seat. Just as you’re about to open the car door, he squeezes your cheeks with his hand and smacks his lips on yours, his thumb and the rest of his fingers dig into your skin as he keeps his mouth on yours in a never ending peck. At some point your cheeks hurt with his hold and the smile trying to take over your features, until he finally lets go and breathes out the biggest “mwah” you’ve ever heard. You snort at him, make your way out of the car as he stares at you. There are just some things that never change, he thinks.

The whole situation reminds him of when you first started to live together, that time that he was playing on his phone and you came in the way, made him lose the game just because you wanted to make ponytails with his hair, took a photo right after that still lives in your phone and told him he was cute as hell, just to leave him bewildered and alone back on the couch, still with his hair full of pinkish hair ties and his heart pounding for the compliment, the words game over on his screen perfect for describing the situation.

«Are you coming?» you knock on his window. He wonders when will you stop looking this cute as hell, but he guesses that all he has to do is give up and fall in love with you every second more.

Loving Jungkook comes naturally. It’s always been inside you, from the moment you met him to the moment that you realised it, in every move and action. It’s just, it’s still new. It’s fresh, and it’s weird to finally face it and bare your emotions, it’s thrilling and the rush in your veins every time you meet his eyes makes your breath stop. It’s beautiful, but it’s a bit frightening too.

You love him, god if you do. You love him with every cell of your body, you love every single fiber of him, every inch of skin, every breathtaking flaw and every curve of his soul. Getting used to it though, it’s a total different thing. He’s still your best friend, the one that you grew up with in all these years, the one that you used to tease and argue with, probably the person that you got mad with more than anyone else and the safe place that always got you in every situation, the one that reassured you when things were hard, that hugged you when some nights were too hard to bare on your own.

And for some reason, it’s scary. Not in a dreadful way, it’s not your feelings, it’s just… you guess it’s just the whole situation. Getting to realise that now he has that space in you, that hold on your heart, that space in your life.

«Are you going to shower?» he beams from the door, locking it shut as you take your shoes off and leave them before the stair in the entrance. You nod, feet already walking mindlessly as he does the same with his shoes.

«Wait for me?» he mumbles, voice low and hopeful. You stop in your trucks, turning to look at him you find him munching on the inside of his lips, a habit that always made your eyes stare a bit too much. He notices, how your shoulders hang low and your eyes look away, crawling to find an escape. It makes him gulp nervously and shake his head slow.

«Nevermind,» he breathes «I’ll shower too, do you want to- cuddle on the couch?»

«Couch» you quietly nod. He does the same, smiling at you to let you know that don’t worry, I’ll wait if that’s what you need.

He doesn’t say it though, and he hopes that the words written in his glittery eyes are enough clear for you to catch them and make them yours. He watches you turn the corner, steps velvety on the floor and the sound of your bedroom door closing.

He knows how upsetting it can be, to face something this big. Not upsetting in a way that makes you want to go back to where you stepped before, at least that was only for him cause he was sure as hell that you didn’t feel the same for him, but upsetting because it’s just a new space, a new realisation. So he knows, he knows that you need a bit of time cause he knows you. He knows that you adjust well in every situation, you’re pretty flexible with yourself most of the time. You adjust just good in new places, new apartments just like when you moved in together, adjust well with new people most of the time, if they’re good people. But this is something else, this is about your relationship, the shift in the air. And even though you feel attraction for each other, love deep and hard, he knows that you need to move at your pace. It was the same when you moved in, adjusting to the house itself and his presence was easy, the process of adjusting to the consequences of it a bit slower. All he can do is show you that he’s still going to be here, with his arms open wide for you and his caring eyes, just like it was before, proving that even though things changed, they really didn’t; there’s still coziness in the air, he’s still the same as before just like you.

He showers, waits for you on the couch, makes sure that you have a bowl full of popcorns on the table and something to drink. When you come into the living room, his face lights up. You look ethereal, with your hair still a bit wet and your eyes full of sparks almost as if the shower you just had brought you back to life, even in your pyjamas you look like the most beautiful woman he ever laid his eyes on.

«Do we have snacks?» you chime. He nods, points at the table. Your beam spurs him on, makes him feel like he just did the best thing ever. And he loves it, totally. His arms open beckoning you to him and when you launch yourself in them all he can do is laugh heartily and wrap them tightly around you.

The night feels blissful with his arms around you, your limbs getting entangled the more time passes. You end up talking through the movie he picked, not really showing that much of interest even though it’s pretty eventful. The way he lets you lay on top of him makes you feel safe and cozy, your back against his chest and his back on the pillow of the sofa, one of his legs bent over yours and his arms keeping you warm.

You end up falling asleep, wake up the day after in your bed, a note on your nightstand.

"You passed out from sleep last night, so I took you to bed. I didn’t know if you wanted to sleep in mine, so I figured it was better to take you to yours. I came in to say good morning but you were sleeping so cutely that I didn’t want to wake you. Aish, why are you so cute?- a laughter bursts out of your chest- I’m going to work, probably will be home around seven. I love you :D"

Good morning, you tell yourself. It’s going to be a beautiful day.

The week passes quickly, work hasn’t been too stressful beside for Monday and all you want to do tonight is come back home and just relax. At lunchtime you’re already wishing you could open the door of your house and just throw yourself on the couch with all your might, but apparently life doesn’t work that way. Your phone lights up, your father’s picture takes up all your screen and something inside you makes your senses tingle as if it was a fifth sense.

«Appa!» you call. His laughter fills up your ears.

«Oh, my baby! Are you eating well these days?» his Busan accent is thick, totally differing from yours now. It was hard to get rid of it when you came to Seoul, it was hard for Jungkook too. You smile widely, a feeling of melancholy invading your chest.

«Yes! Actually too well, appa. I eat too much these days» you chuckle.

«How is eomma doing?»

Your father grunts: «Oh, she’s fine, always looking for something to fight me with! We argued five minutes ago but she’s singing in the kitchen as if nothing happened, I’m the only one upset» he rants.

«What went through my mind when I proposed? Aish, this woman»

His tone makes you laugh, the dynamics have always been like this in your family. Your mother is sweet, caring, but god, is she feisty. Your father is always been the calmer one, the rational one between them, saying sorry when it was needed and talking to her when she wouldn’t listen. Her personality is a lot to handle, but if you manage to find your way with her she will give you your world and even the things she doesn’t have.

«Why did you fight?» you wonder. He huffs annoyed.

«Nothing big! I forgot the light on in the living room when I went to pee!» he laughs at the silly argument.

«She scolded me for fifteen minutes!»

«God, she’s something else» you chuckle.

Your father makes noises of agreement, hums at your words and laughs at the high note coming from the corner of the kitchen, your mother definitely isn’t a singer.

«Do you want to come for the weekend? It’s been so long since we spent some time together. I miss you» he sweetens his voice, trying to get into your heart, and here it is, what you sensed before. His invitation makes you smile and nod, even though you’re tired and craving for your couch from this morning. It’s been definitely more than three months since the last time you visited your hometown and your parents. It’s not that you don’t want to go, actually you find yourself being homesick from time to time. It’s just been pretty eventful, with everything that happened. With Jungkook, work being a pain in the ass as always. Plus, a four hours drive isn’t really that appealing, riding the train for that long neither when you know that you will be able to stay just for a little amount of time. You guess you could do that, since you really miss them and work hasn’t been that hectic this week. You have some energy to spare after having a good sleep, even for your mom’s questions.

«Jungkook? How is he? He can come too! We can grill samgyeopsal» he exclaims excited. It’s nothing new, your father is crazy for him and your mom just shows an inch of sanity more, but it’s pretty much just the same, she hides it well. The last time that you visited together was almost eight months ago and every time you went afterwards they asked you why you didn’t bring him with you, so you guess that you could ask him.

«Oh, he’s good. He wouldn’t turn down samgyeopsal. Not in his right mind at least» you joke.

«Ah, great! Your mom started preparing for kimjang, it’s fermenting so we’ll have kimchi too! Aigoo, I’m hungry. Yeobo!» he yells to your mother still with the phone on his ear, grimacing you part from it.

«How much until we eat?»

You hear your mother scolding your father and telling him to help her in the kitchen, calling him lazy ass. It makes you chuckle but silently, knowing that your father will act all lamentable.

«I’m talking to our daughter!» he yells back.

You don’t really understand what’s happening, weird noises making their way though the microphone until your mom’s voice comes in the way.

«Aigoo, my baby! When are you coming to visit?»

«Eomma! Tomorrow I think, I’m going to call you again to let you know» you smile.

«Bring Jungkook!» she chimes. You roll your eyes.

«I’ll talk to him,» you answer «where is dad?»

«Oh, I kicked him in the ass. He has to get up and help me, he’s always sitting on the sofa» she wails.

«I will go cooking, but come tomorrow okay?»

«Yes, eomma» you make sure to nod even though she can’t see you. She says her goodbyes and a second later the call is over, you already picture your dad’s face with a scowl as she looks at him with his phone in her hands.

The air in Busan feels different, more fresh and fragrant, the pollution level is lower and the fine dust is less, so you breathe in and gladly take off your mask. Jungkook stands behind you with his still on his face and a beanie on his head, entirely dressed in black. His hair are getting longer and you can’t help but swoon over him a bit.

When you told him your parents invited you home yesterday, his eyes lit up and he asked to come before you could even tell him they invited him, so it’s to no use to say that when you mentioned samgyeopsal all he did was fist the air and hum already licking his lips. Sometimes you wonder if he likes you more than meat, but you guess that he does, otherwise he would be running inside your parents’ house already at the smell coming out from the open windows.

«Aigoo, they started grilling already» he whines.

«I told them we were about to arrive» you hum. His arm comes around your shoulder, the wide bag he brought hanging from the other side of his body. Jungkook feels happy. He loves your parents just the same as they love him, calls them mom and dad, receives their calls from time to time, when you still used to live in Busan and he would come to your place to hang out he used to have long talks with your dad and laugh about silly things. He feels joyful, ready to spend a good weekend and to enjoy the hometown that he missed so much. His family is in Japan at the moment so it’s crystal clear that your father will keep him occupied for the whole weekend, more than happy to do so. He wondered if he should be sleeping in his parent’s house yesterday but when you answered him no as if it was obvious he felt even more cheerful. You wouldn’t say that your parents are wealthy because they aren’t, but the house is big and has four bedrooms, the price was extremely low when they bought it, plus he used to sleep here practically two to three times a week when you were younger, you know that your parents don’t mind it at all.

«My baby!» your dad’s face peeks out of the window and he yells from the kitchen with his eyes full of excitement. A bunch of seconds later he’s opening the front door and running towards you.

«Aigoo, my daughter is here!»

«Appa, don’t scream!» you laugh as he engulfs you in one of his bear hugs. Jungkook lets go of his hold on you and watches the scene in front of him, a new wave of happiness invading his body. He bows politely to your father when he parts from you, the older man laughing at him and wrapping his arms tightly around his figure. He stays there, with his face on his shoulder and his hand on his back, gladly taking his affection and hugging him back, eyes sparkly and cheeks full.

«I want a hug too!» your mother comes out, hair disheveled and a kitchen apron covering her cloths. She runs to you with all her speed, for a second you fear that she’ll stumble and fall over but her body is still strong and she’s still the baddest of the baddest. She pulls you to her and you feel at home, suddenly relaxed. She might be the most annoying person on the planet, but she’s the person that loves you more too.

You guess that after you comes Jungkook, cause as soon as she hears his laughter she pats his shoulder and pulls him to her with you still in her arms, your dad having to let go of him, she squeezes the both of you and kisses both of your heads.

«Aigoo, I missed my babies so much» she wails. Jungkook snorts and let’s her do her thing, his eyes meeting yours as he smiles tenderly.

«How are your parents? Your mother called me yesterday, Japan must be fun!»

«Oh, they’re having fun» he giggles.

When you go in you don’t spend time in strolling around and place your bags in your room. The forniture is still the same, the space not that big but not small either, a poster of your favorite girl group when you were younger on the door of your wardrobe. Jungkook stops in front of the door with his bag hanging down from his hip, takes a look around with a dreamy smile on his lips.

«I missed here so much» he munches on the inside of his cheek.

«How are you feeling?»

His hand reaches your shoulder, he squeezes it as he stands by your side.

«Good,» you hum «happy»

He doesn’t expect you to do anything, but when you wrap your arms around his waist and look at him from down his happiness reaches its peak and he finds himself spiraling.

«Are you?»

Fuck, yes he is. A lot, a fucking lot. He missed his hometown, missed your parents, missed the warmth of the air, missed your memories together. To be here, when your relationship took such a turn makes him look back to everything, from the moment he met you and laid his eyes on you to where you are now, when you moved in together, when you used to spend your afternoons in your bedroom just because you wanted to hang out with each other, when you used to sing your hearts out to his favorite songs, every time you would end up staying up until three in the morning watching animations, all the crazy things you did together and the softest ones too.

«Do you remember when I came in from the window cause your parents were sleeping?» he laughs already at the thought.

«You’re so dumb, woke ‘em up anyway» you shake your head.

«They even got mad. They said it looked like you were trying to rob the house»

«Your dad got mad. He probably thought we were going to sleep together»

«It doesn’t make sense, you were here every day» you chuckle.

«They never let me sleep in your room at night» he mumbles smiley.

«It would’ve happened anyway if that was the case» you squeeze his hip.

«Isn’t it?» he faces you with a cheeky grin.

«It wasn’t,» you shake your head and poke your tongue out at him «and we’re not just sleeping together»

«We aren’t,» he smiles more «you love me» he huffs with his eyes in a haze. The feeling you see in them it’s perfectly clear and it’s the same that makes you soften your stance.

«Tell me» he hums, voice velvety.

You seal your lips shut just to tease him and he thumps his foot on the floor, eyebrows furrowing and lips pushed forward in a pout.

«Please?»

«I love you»

«You- oh?» he really didn’t expect for you to give up so easily.

«I do,» you smack his ass «now get your bags here»

«Oh?» he doesn’t know if he should be teasing you for the way your hands still lingers on his ass or ask you what you’re talking about.

«Your bags,» you puff out «you left the other one in the car»

«Yes- yes, here like- here? In your room?»

«If you want to?» you smile.

«Do I- like, sleep here? With you?» he asks.

This week you didn’t sleep together, he gave you the space you needed to get used to the new situation, you cuddled in his bed more than once, stayed on the couch until late, but you didn’t spend the night in his bed and neither did he in yours.

«If you want it too» you mumble. He blinks, face empty. And then he beams, his bunny teeth showing and punching you right in the guts.

«But- your parents» he murmurs. He doesn’t know if he should bring this up to remind you that you’re not home or if it would be better to just stay silent and play coy.

«They don’t need to know» you hug him tighter, cheek pressed to his hard chest and eyes on him, looking like the cutest being that ever walked on Earth. If looks could kill, god, this would be around one of his thousandths of lives.

«I want to sleep with you, for tonight» you plead.

Jungkook pucks his lips.

«I’ll get the bag» he peals, eyebrows up and jaw cocked up, looking satisfied and so endearingly exuberant.

Samgyeopsal is life, that’s one of the few things that both you and Jungkook agree on. Especially when it’s soft and almost melts in your mouth, still hot and accompanied by kimchi and wrapped in a leaf of lettuce. It makes the man beside you moan and close his eyes, pretty much the same as your reaction as you dip another piece into the sauce.

«Are you feeding my daughter? She looks skinnier» your dad munches on his food, cheeks full and eyes on Jungkook.

«Appa, I’m eating well, don’t worry» you shake your head.

«And I’m able to feed myself on my own»

The man snorts at your attitude, your mom nodding.

«I know, but it’s nice to know that there’s someone who takes care of you»

Jungkook shifts in his seat, his smile stretching.

«I take good care of her» he nods proudly.

«We ate bibimbap yesterday»

«I cooked that» you chip in, chopstick pointing at him.

«I helped you,» he scoffs «and I make sure you have food when you come home later than me»

«He does,» you nod «don’t worry» you look at your dad. The man gulps down, his eyes move from Jungkook’s to yours and he tilts his head slightly, a second later he’s eating again.

«Are you going out for dinner? Or do you want me to cook something in particular?» your mom butts in as she grabs another piece of meat and puts it in your dish.

«Oh, we don’t know yet,» you look at Jungkook «do you want to go out?»

«Do you?» he asks back.

«Not really»

«We can help her cook then» he tilts his head towards the woman sitting in front of you. She scoffs, grabbing the meat and wrapping it in the lettuce, her hand directed to Jungkook’s face. He stays still with his eyebrows cooked and his eyes a little bigger than usual, tongue between his teeth and lips closed.

«Open up» she orders.

«Eomma!» you scold. The woman snorts through her teeth, the sound guttural and lamenting.

«I used to feed him when he was younger, can’t I do it now?» she wails.

«Yah, you’re really something. Leave him alone!» your father lightly smacks her forearm and her eyes shoot bullets to his face.

«I-» Jungkook isn’t even able to start his sentence, your mom bickers back to your father.

«I’m just feeding him!»

«Should I come in in a bit?» Jungkook whispers at your ear as you’re about to leave the living room. Your parents are happily playing cards on the carpet, no silly little squabble in sight until now, the air is light and the sky is dark. You guess that yes, it would be better, so you nod at him. He fights the urge to kiss your cheek, just smiles at you as you get up from the couch.

«I’m feeling sleepy, I think I’ll go to bed» you announce. Your mother hums at you, lifting her hand in the air in a muted request to wait as she chooses her next move with the cards. Your father looks at Jungkook.

«Do you want to play?» he asks. The man on the sofa declines quietly, a polite smile on his face.

«I’m a bit tired too, actually» he clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

«I’ll pass for tonight. Tomorrow?»

Your mom puts her card down, your father’s face lights up as he throws his card on the table.

«I won!» he cheers as he laughs at your mother’s face. She snorts and let’s her head fall backwards, her mouth shut.

«I’m going to win tomorrow too, get ready Jungkook!»

«We’ll see» he titters.

«Eomma, I’m going» you remind her. The woman gets up with her face still annoyed by your dad’s victory, she stumbles on her legs as she’s been sitting on the ground for almost three hours now, wrapping her arms around you and kissing your cheek. Jungkook feels his chest swell up with happiness, the feeling bittersweet. The scene reminds him of your younger selves, your parents saying goodbye when you left for Seoul.

«Sleep well» she chimes, patting you on your back. Your father comes too, gives you a peck on the crown of your head.

«See you tomorrow» he smiles. You wait for them to part from you before you make your way out of the living room, Jungkook’s eyes following you out of the corner.

He waits for you to close the door of your bedroom, gets himself a glass of water, watches your parents start another round with their game, listens to your father’s story about that time that a taxi driver stole him 20,000 won. Then, he decides to stand up.

«I’ll go too» he says. Your father nods, gets up again to pat his shoulder.

«I’ll kick your ass tomorrow» he promises. The bunny smile on Jungkook’s lips makes him pinch his cheek as he always did when he was younger, endeared by his cuteness even though he’s a full grown up man now, then goes back to his sit.

«Sleep well» your mom wishes. He nods and waves goodbye.

The path to your bedroom is silent, it only lasts a bunch of seconds but by the time he knocks at your door he’s all smiley and excited in a way that makes his heart flutter with peace and happiness. You tell him to come in, voice muffled. The handle lowers and his eyes peek into the dark room, the light on your nightstand the only thing keeping the ambience clear at least a bit, your lashes flutter from under the sheets and all he wants to do is throw himself into your bed and dive into your arms until tomorrow comes.

«You’re sleepy for real?» he giggles. You watch him get closer and stand by the bed, he stares down at you and you reach your arms out to him. His smile is contagious, a harmonious laughter erupting from his chest as he kneels by the side of the bed, figure bent over to hide into the softness of the sheets and your arms around him.

«I have to wash,» he keens «will you wait up? Don’t wanna sleep so soon when I’m in bed with you» he mumbles against you. You let out a content sigh.

«Go shower,» you smack his ass lightly «I’ll wait up. Be fast, please?»

He pecks your lips quickly, his excitement throbbing out of every pore of his body. The gesture surprises you, your lips were far from his for the whole day even though you spent all the time together, so you feel a little love drunk.

«Thank you»

He low-spiritedly parts from you, getting back on his feet and strolling out of your bedroom to go and take a shower.

When he comes back ten minutes later his hair are a little dump, his skin glowing by the nightlight and you find your breath getting stuck in your chest. You lift the sheets, invite him in without saying a word. Jungkook lays on his side, looks at you silently as if you were the most beautiful star painting the sky tonight.

«How are you feeling?» he lowly asks. You dig your head deeper into your pillow.

«Good, I told you» you hum, getting closer to the warmth of his body. His heart sinks in his rib cage, arms hitching to hold you just as you wrap yours around his torso. Jungkook takes in the way you smell, how the perfume of your body wash is so sweet but not too strong, the way your hair seem to dance on your pillow cause the reflection of the light changes when he shifts to get closer to you.

«I feel good too» he sighs happily.

«It feels so good to be here like this» his fingertips trace the curve of your hip, tickling your skin and making you shiver just the slightest. You hide your face in his chest.

«Did you miss it a lot?» you question.

«Sometimes,» he shrugs «we have a lot of memories here»

«We do,» you nod, look at him when one of them strikes through your mind «do you remember when you tried to prank me? You scared the shit out of me»

His laughter is so loud that you’re afraid he’s going to be heard by your parents, head falling back on the pillow and eyes shut.

«That was so funny. The face you made when you realised it was me, I-»

«I swear if you ever do that again I’m going to punch you» you shake your head, but the memory is sweet inside you.

You were tired, worn out from your first days at your first job, sad cause you felt like you didn’t measure up. The dumbass decided to help you with your mood but apparently he and Jimin where too into it and didn’t think about the consequences of their actions. They came in before you thanks to your parents loving Jungkook way too much and waited for you in your bedroom with the lights off for almost thirty minutes. Jimin ended up falling asleep on the bed and Jungkook decided that it was funny enough to steal the gochujang from your kitchen and soul up Jimin’s shirt with it. When you came in Jungkook was sitting behind the door, a very Jungkook thing to do, and when you turned on the light you screamed so loud that your throat was sore the next day, scared to death of the red stain on your friend’s shirt. Jimin woke up, jumped on the bed, Jungkook reveling his presence only in that moment when his laughter was too much to contain. The moment in which you though you had a dead body on your bed transformed into arguing in a matter of seconds, and when you realised that Jimin wasn’t part of it you ended up getting mad at Jungkook, until you realised that he drew a penis on his forehead with the gochujang sauce. You have no freaking idea of how he did that, but somehow it was still there on his forehead and he didn’t know.

«Some things work only once,» he laughs harder «Jimin’s face was so fucking hilarious the whole time»

«When he realised it got even worse» you can still picture it clearly, how he opened the camera of his phone and widened his eyes just to start laughing with you, his finger coming right up on his skin to get a taste of the sauce. Your Kook shakes his head, kisses your forehead.

«You pranked me too» he murmurs.

«My pranks weren’t that dreadful»

«No, cause you preferred sticking notes to my ass» he snorts.

«I only did that once,» you raise your forefinger to his face to show him «and it was one note»

«I walked around the school with it» he whines. Citing what your sixteen years old version of you wrote; “I have a cute bum, now stop looking, thanks :D”.

«I know baby, I’m sorry. It was so funny though»

The warmth of his body makes you shrink into the mattress. Your eyes close while you dwell into it, the soft pads of his fingers stroking your back, his even breath, the sound of his voice when he speaks, the melody of your heart beating peacefully and steady. Jungkook notices the way your eyelashes flutter, the way you let yourself smile and hug him tighter.

«Baby» he hums. Silence fills the air for a moment or so, you wait for him to speak but shift in his hold, face looking up at his. He’s smiling tenderly, a little dimple on his cheek accompanies his lopsided beam.

«How are you feeling? Like- I know that you’re happy, but I mean- how? With us?»

The question makes you stare at him for a bit too much. Your thoughts intertwine and your lips crave for his to make sure that the answer is totally clear, but instead you squeeze him tighter.

«What do you mean?»

Jungkook caresses your cheek as he speaks, his voice a bit raspy: «It can be hard- to fit into this… new thing? Like, getting to what we had before to this»

«I’m doing fine,» you smile «sometimes it’s odd, not in a bad way though. It’s just, I feel overwhelmed and… it’s weird to get to have you in this way cause it wasn’t like this for all these years. But I love you»

Kook munches on his lips, big doe eyes diving in yours as he takes in your answer, the roundness of his cheeks distracts you just for a second because you want to pinch them.

«I feel overwhelmed too,» he squeezes your side «you can’t get used to that» he beams again. It’s like he restores the light to the room, so bright and beautiful that the night sky looks like nothing compared, dazzling.

«Please don’t get used to that,» his tone is pleading «it’s beautiful and I love it when you feel like that. Makes me feel so loved and I just want to wrap my arms around you and never let go»

Your heart throbs, and you think that you couldn’t even if you tried with all your might. It’s just him, his light, his night skies, his bunny teeth, his big shoulders, the way his skin feels on top of yours, how he has a hold on you that could never stop swivelling, his soul. It’s everything about him and nothing at all that makes you love him with every part of you and even though it’s new and sometimes you don’t know how to face it, it’s him and him and him only that you crave for deep at night, his arms around you and his cute lips when he speaks.

«I’m not trying to get used to that,» you hide your face into his neck, taking in the fragrance of his body wash and how sweet it is «I’m just- I’m getting used to being more, not your best friend»

Your words make him pout. He guides his fingers to you, raises your chin and his pupils stare deep into yours.

«You’re still my best friend» he mumbles.

«You will always be, but what we have now…»

«I know» there’s no need for him to explain.

«Of course I am. But there’s this too and sometimes I don’t know how to handle it»

Jungkook nods. He loves what you’re doing, how you’re communicating to him, the atmosphere of intimacy in the air. He lets go of you to prop up on his forearm, his hand supporting his face as he stares back down at your eyes, you let yourself lay on your back limp under his sight. His fingers caress the curve of your hip and Jungkook swears that not other woman in his entire lifetime as ever made him this weak, not just physically, emotionally too; so bare, so frail, so vulnerable and ready to take it all at the same time.

«Do you think that it’s going better?» he whispers, totally devoted. You shrink more into the mattress, his eyes feel like reassuring you more than looking for an answer.

«I think it is,» you nod «just slightly»

He brushes his nose against yours, kissing the tip afterwards.

«Can I do something? Like- to help you?» he stumbles on his words. It’s weird cause a part of him just wishes you could let go and take all he has to give, everything and more and just bask in it, but he knows you. He knows that you have to find your new balance before taking it, he‘s aware that what will come after will be even more hard to handle, for him especially… cause once you’ll find your space he will lose his mind with how much every part of you belongs to him, how much of yourself you’ll give without taking back. It’s always been like this, it was the same even at the beginning of your friendship.

«No, just-» you lick your lips «just sleep with me tonight? I want you close»

He can’t hold back from kissing your forehead, kiss the vulnerability in your voice away. His fist lifts the covers as he looks at you and smiles, a strand of hair comes in the way of his eyes.

«Come here» he whispers, moving his other hand to pull you closer from your hip. You take in a deep breath, dawdle in the feeling of his fingers as he wraps his arm around you like a few minutes ago, keeps you close until there’s no space left.

He watches your side profile, admires the curve of your nose and the length of your lashes, the pillowy swell of your lips until he lets himself down on the cushion and his other arm comes around you too, his face in the crook of your neck and his breath on your skin. He hides from the world and just focuses on you, makes sure you feel how much he loves you, how much of him is yours. The soft pecks he lays on your neck make your lashes flutter and you push yourself more to his chest, your shoulder digging into his pecs slightly. He raises swiftly from the mattress, pecks your cheek.

«Open your arm?»

You do as he asks, stretching your arm out and waiting for him to lay down again, when he does you cup the back of his neck with it. Jungkook hums happily, decides to lay on your chest. Your breasts are the perfect pillow and the sound of your heartbeat the most beautiful lullaby, and when he hears it beat louder his smile grows even more. You like it, having him laying on you in this way. It’s sweet, caring, it makes you feel like you’re the one who’s giving love and protection to him, shelter from the world even though you both know that there’s not an ending part that isn’t receiving and giving. Your arm wraps around his back, Jungkook snuggles into you and kisses your clavicle, his leg comes over yours to intertwine them and his fingers caress your stomach as he closes his eyes.

It’s odd, how waking up next to him makes your mood shift from happy to helplessly in love to horny as hell. This man, fuck the things he does to you. You think that it’s not even possible to feel this attracted to someone, scientifically. And this time it’s not your period, hell no, you know it for sure. It’s just Jungkook and his fucking body and the way you love him so desperately. His tattoos coming out from the short sleeve of his shirt, the colours mixing with his skin to create the most breathtaking piece of art, the contrast with the other pale arm wrapped around you. At some point tonight he slipped it under your back and you feel sorry for him when he’s going to wake up because it will most probably be sore after having you on top of it for all this time. He’s still sleeping on your chest, snoring lightly from time to time with his lips coming out and the roundness of his cheeks overwhelming, squashed against you, his hair all over the place.

It’s just, you don’t know what it is, but opening your eyes to him first thing in the morning makes your fingers tingle to touch every inch of him. His broad shoulders make you salivate just at the sight. You shift slowly, trying your best to get out from under him without waking him up but his face is peacefully laying on your chest and of course, he would open his eyes at the movement. Jungkook groans and opens and closes his lips a few times, gulping down the saliva he stored in his mouth while sleeping, vision blurry as he moves and tries to take a look at you. Your eyes are already on him, the light in the room is still dim but he’s not used to it and it’s too bright for his sleepy body. All he can do is narrow his eyes, or close them almost, your face hazy but still so pretty.

«What time is it?» he mumbles. His voice is low and raspy and somehow it makes you yearn even more.

You take a look at your phone by the nightstand.

«Seven and ten»

He whines and hides his face back on your chest, nose digging in the hill of your breast. You shift under him, his arms wrap tighter around you and suddenly your legs are opening and you’re pushing your hips against his thigh. Jungkook’s eyes open, puffy and still sleepy but definitely interested in your current mood.

«What was that?» he grins, first thing in the morning. You don’t know what’s gotten into you, your cheeks burn but all you really want to say is just, fuck it. Instead, you just look away. He scoffs and decides to level himself on his forearm by your side, squeezes your cheeks between his thumb and his fingers to gain your attention.

«Love» he calls. Your heart makes a somersault, your breath stops coming out.

You whine under him for the hold he has on you with just a single word, his smile grows bigger.

«What was that?» he asks again, voice soft and airy, a little amused.

«Nothing» you mumble. Jungkook shakes his head, he lays his face back on your body, this time in the crook of your neck. A sweet kiss, his breath on your skin, his eyelashes fluttering against you, his fingers squeezing your hip.

«Good morning» he mumbles happy.

«Fuck it,» you huff out «Kook, I’m-» it’s so embarrassing to say out loud «I’m feeling horny»

Jungkook breaks out in a giggle, so soft and cute that you want to hide from the world and listen to it forever, the contrast too deep with what you just revealed. He kisses your neck again but his lips are stretched and they don’t quite connect too well with your skin.

«Horny?» he echoes.

«Don’t make me say it again,» you whine «it’s so embarrassing»

«It’s not,» he sweetly caresses your hair «why?»

«It’s just… don’t know, I’m not used to tell you this type of stuff» he watches as you stare at the wall and try as best as you can not to look at him. He pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, his thigh slowly moves back to where it was and when you feel the muscle slightly push against you you wish you could just combust.

«Get used to it,» he mutters with a big beam stretching on his face «cause I love hearing it»

«It’s embarrassing» you mewl and cover your eyes with your hand. Jungkook shakes his head, lowers his lips to the side of your ear.

«It’s sexy,» he breathes «did I do that? Did I turn you on?»

Just the thought makes his cock hard in his boxers.

«You-» you gulp «yes»

«Did I? What did I do?» he licks his lips, your hand moves away and your scoop the confidence to look at him just to find him gazing at you already.

«Nothing, just… you» you whisper cause you’re not sure that your voice is going to work right now. You see his shoulder swell as he breathes in deep, telling himself to just don’t lose his mind, the way you make him feel is just… fuck, there’s no word to describe it.

«Just me?» he smiles, amused. Your little nod makes him clench his jaw. A second later, his lips kiss yours and it’s so fucking sweet and consuming and intimate, sexy at the same time that your body loses its hold on the world and your arms wrap around his neck. You whine on his mouth, his tongue slides inside and all you can do is surrender and let go, give up and let him consume every still working neuron in your brain.

«Do you… want to do something about it?» he hums. You can’t discern if he’s teasing you or if it’s your mind playing tricks on your embarrassment.

«Don’t tease me» you huff. He kisses your chin.

«I’m not. Not in a bad way at least,» he smiles «I’m just- the thought makes me hard» he breathes. You gulp down harshly at the information.

«Can I take care of you? Just- if you don’t want to-»

«Please, do it» your sigh cuts him off. Jungkook raises his eyebrows, stares at you to make sure that you really mean it. The last time you had sex was a week ago, at Taehyung’s house. You needed space to get used to this, even though you didn’t actually say it he understood it perfectly, and he just wants to make sure that you really mean what you’re saying.

«Are you sure?» he hums. You nod surely, squeeze his hip to make sure he understands.

«Really sure?»

«Sure, Jungkook» you dig your head into the pillow.

«Why?»

«It’s just- I want to make sure that you’re comfortable and don’t feel pressured or… I don’t know. I love you, just. Don’t wanna do something that might-»

«Love, yes. Kook, I want you to take care of me. Please? When I woke up, I don’t know… you where wrapped around me and all I could- all I craved for was your touch. I want this, please?»

His eyes light up. Not because you just told him that you want him, but because you’re showing your vulnerability just for him, your needs, your yearning, your voice is needy and it’s for him to care for and to take care of, for him to respect and adore, worship. And he can’t wait to make you feel good, give you what you want and see you in your bare state. So he kisses you, another time. Deep and sweet, something that says I will take care of you no matter what.

And he does just that, his fingers caress every inch of your skin as they travel down your stomach, he admires the softness and the warmth of you, takes in the way you shiver for him when he reaches your hips, lays little kisses and pecks on every inch of you he manages to grasp, his hair tickle your skin and they make you shrink and shift under him, too excited to stay still.

The covers get pulled down, he takes them with him as he takes his seat between your legs, bum on his calves and eyes back on your face. The smile he forges stops all your thoughts and suddenly you sit up and cup his cheeks in your hands and kiss him so deep that he moans in your mouth, needy and surprised at the same time.

«I know that I’m- I’m slow and it takes time. I’m sorry. I just- I love you so fucking much, I wanna do things right. In the right way. Wanna love you with every part of me and every second of the day, I just need to get used to the new version of us, but fuck, I love it» you rant against him. Jungkook feels drunk, he’s afraid he’s going to fall and fall and fall and never hit the ground cause for god’s sake, the way you love him kills him in such a sweet way that he never wants to experience the way it would feel without it, ever again. It’s addicting, the worst of drugs, the deepest of falls, the most saccharine of candies.

«Don’t say sorry,» he whispers and pecks your lips «I love you. I love you and I want you to feel comfortable in everything you do. I love having you like this, but it’s something that means more. It’s not just feeling horny,» he strokes your cheek lovingly. He hopes that all of his emotions are clear to your eyes as he cups your cheeks and brings you closer to his face again.

«It’s showing it to me. Opening up and knowing that I won’t judge and just stay with you. For whatever, baby. It’s us, like it’s always been. You can show me all of yourself and fuck, I’ll be worshipping every ridge, every fucking shade. Just, let me love you right»

You never felt so fucking entangled with someone. Never. But with Jungkook, your souls are entangled, your limbs, your minds, your fucking hearts, your scents, the way you breathe. Everything melts into the other, every part of his was made to be yours and it was the same for you, cause otherwise it wouldn’t make sense. The way you feel the safest you’ve ever been wouldn’t, the way his fingers tremble slightly before they reach the hem of your shirt to push it upwards, the sound of your maddening heart wouldn’t. It doesn’t beat like it would with your first crush, with the last guy you dated, when you take care of yourself on your own. It beats in a way that you feel it deep in your intestine, in your guts, in every place. It beats sweetly, like a melody, it beats like you’re losing yourself but know that even if you don’t have control over you, his soul is going to keep you protected, loved and cared for.

«Lay down for me?» he whispers. You smile and watch him as you rest on the mattress, he lowers himself and lays down on his chest, his feet hanging out of the bed.

Jungkook hums in front of your core, the shirt you’re wearing is pretty big and long so you didn’t wear the rest of your home made pyjama yesterday night. He hooks his fingers around the band of your panties and you raise your hips up to make it easier for him to remove the garment. He lets it caress your skin, takes it off slowly, without any pressure. His eyes take in every inch of your skin, his digits caress your thighs and your knees in a way that causes your chest to feel heavier as he lets your panties fall on the bed just beside you. When he goes back to your center, his mouth salivates.

«So pretty,» he coos «I love your pussy» and a second later, he’s pushing his lips against your hole, his nose pushing on your clit. You moan out loud before you can do anything about it, his eyes close and you raise your fist to keep your mouth shut. Your parents shouldn’t hear this, at all. You’d die of embarrassment only at the thought.

He gathers your wetness on his tongue, sucks it in his mouth as his hands come to wrap around your thighs, moans on your pussy lowly at the addicting taste.

«So sweet» he mumbles on it.

«Is- the door locked?» you question, you have to at least before you lose your sanity. Jungkook nods on your pussy, the movement makes his nose rub against you and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs around him, it makes him moan and slurp on your wetness even more.

«Locked it when I came in yesterday» he says, kissing your lips.

«Relax for me,» he whispers softly «let me take care of you»

Your hand urgently reaches his on your thigh, Jungkook smiles at you and holds it, your juices glossing his lips.

«Tell me what you want?»

You gulp down, it’s hard to even think straight when he looks at you from between your legs.

«Want your tongue,» you nod «please»

«Where do you want it?» the way he speaks as if he’s willing to give you anything renders you breathless.

«Inside» you breathe. He doesn’t let you ask for it twice.

He sucks on your lips just in the right way, and a second later he’s dipping his tongue in your pussy, eyes on you as the muscle works his magic inside you. He curls it and gatherers your juices again, saves the sweetness for his hungry mouth, gulps some of it down and then enters your hole again. Your hand squeeze his, his finger rub tenderly the back of it to soothe you as he starts fucking his tongue in and out. The muscle wet, controlled, firm but soft. As he moves his face to help himself his nose rubs against your clit again and god, it’s so good. So sweet, so alluring that you can’t hold back from wrapping your legs around his neck.

Jungkook loves it, loves you, loves your pussy so fucking much that he thinks he could come free hands just by licking it, tasting your juices on his tongue, having you like this. His cock is so fucking hard that it hurts, his balls are already tight and they make him grunt on you as he fucks you slowly, the pace always the same, the one that he knows you like. He’s too hungry for you, to feel you, to have you, to cherish and worship every part of you, every single one; every irregular breath, every shiver of pleasure. He wants it to be his, every part of you. He wants you to remember this and wants you to soak your panties with your wetness when the image of him sucking on your core flashes in your mind at work, when you’re laying in bed. He wants it all, wants you to fucking lose it and give yourself to him, wants you to trust him that much.

«Fuck, baby-» he whimpers as he squeezes your thigh «wanna make you lose it. Want you to come so fucking hard»

You shiver under him, the pleasure building up with the pressure on your clit makes you arch your back and dig your head in the pillow, your nerves are on fire. His tongue touches your walls perfectly, strokes them as it goes in and comes back out, the tip reaches deep inside you right where you need him and it’s ecstatic. You whimper and cover your eyes cause looking at him only makes you weaker, bite your lips to hold back any sound. And then for a second, Jungkook stops his ministrations. You don’t even have the strength to peek at him, your body limp on the bed beside from your legs still wrapped around him.

His tongue leaves your center, his nose away from you, you whine at the loss of contact but stop when you hear him grunt, his back lifting with your legs. Your hand moves away, and when you look down and see him getting back on the mattress you get a glimpse of the head of his cock, head red and hungry, so fucking hard. He breathes in deeply and dives in back in your pussy, pressing himself on the mattress. A whimper leaves his mouth and fuck, you can’t hold it back. The thought of him rubbing himself against the mattress while he fucks his tongue inside you makes you crazy, the fact that he feels so needy that he couldn’t wait more, the way you make him so hard that drives him insane.

«Gonna cum» you try to whisper, but you’re voice comes out in a whimper and Jungkook roots his hips harder against the sheets.

«Cum for me? Want you to smother me with your juices,» he moans so sweet that your mind links his voice to the taste of cotton candy, so velvety and light «want your wetness all over my face, fuck- I love it, love your pussy so much. I’d do anything for it, for you baby»

His remarks bring you closer to the edge, the rush in your veins seems closer and closer to its peak, ready to fall down and hit you in the best and worst way possible. Your hand reaches his hair, you fist the strands and Jungkook pushes himself deeper into you, his jaw hurts for how much of his chin is glued to you but he found care less, his breath keeps hitting your clit every time he parts just to dive in again.

«Please» you plead. Jungkook keeps his eyes on you and all his eagerness quiets down for a second. The way you look makes his heart clench, the way you bite your lips and close your eyes, the colour of your cheeks flushed, how you squeeze your legs around him. Love is in every move he makes, it was until now too, fuck if it was, but stopping himself for a second or so, he feels like his heart is going to explode. Not only in a thrilling way, but for how much he loves you. For you and you only, for the soul under him and showing itself in its bare state, for you giving yourself to him completely. He kisses your core, decides that he wants to make it even better, give you more, make you feel more and better. His lips lock around your clit, it’s unexpected and all at once and suddenly you feel like you’re going to cry for the pleasure. His fingers push inside you, two of them hit your g-spot perfectly and he doesn’t take them out, just curls them inside you repeatedly, so good and breataking, his tongue flicks your clit up and down as he keeps sucking on it. He realises the pearl with a pop and opens his lips to lick stripe on it, just on the spot that makes you lose it, but his teeth graze it and suddenly you’re whimpering and shaking and fuck, you’re cuming under him, around him. His mind is full of you, you’re everywhere all at once and all he wants to do is fucking show you how much he loves you. Your legs wrap around him tighter and he strokes your hip to soothe you while you keep him tight to your pussy, body trembling.

He gulps down your wetness, cleans every drop and tastes your sweetness on his tongue, licks it clean until there’s nothing more for him, and even then his tongue comes inside you to get some more. He loves it, he’s fucking addicted to your sweetness, to your juices. Just the flavour makes his dick twitch and throb, balls too tight to hold back any longer. He knows he could cum just by having you like this, he just knows it.

«Koo» you call. He realises a deep breath on you, your thighs still shake around him for how sensitive you are.

«Let me help you» you coo. He licks his lips clean.

«I wanna-» he cuts himself off as he takes a deep breath, voice shaky «I wanna try something»

Your hand strokes his hair as you watch him speak, eyes glued to his face even though your mind is still hazy. He looks totally fucked out, almost as if the one who’s been on the receiving end until now, like you’re doing something to him that can’t be explained, take all of his energy and rush it to his cock, begging to be released.

«What? What do you want?» you whisper. His cheeks colour of a reddish tint, eyes glittery looking away from your face, almost as if it’s too much to say out loud.

«Talk to me?»

Jungkook gives in as soon as your foot digs into his shoulder: «Wanna cum while tasting you on my tongue, I- just by tasting you»

Shit. If that’s what your brain is assuming, oh god.

«You mean…»

«Hands free» he breathes, eyes back into yours. The words dig a hole into your skin and you swear that if your energy wasn’t so drained right now you’d make him do just that and ride his dick afterwards, give him more while he’s sensitive and whimpering until all he can do is cum and break out into his sweet mewls and sighs.

«I can do that, I’m so close, baby. Just-»

«Do it,» you nod «do it for me?»

He hopes that your parents are still sleeping or just busy cause he doesn’t think he can manage to keep his mouth shut. The way you look at him and take in every feature on his face makes him salivate. It’s sexy and it’s such a turn on to think that you make him this crazy that your wetness starts to pool your pussy again and you just want him with his tongue covered in your juices again. Fuck, he wants it too.

«Can I? For real?»

You nod at him, free him of your legs just to sit up and raise his chin with your fingers. Jungkook stays there, with his chest on the mattress, ass naked and cock against the sheets, but the yearning he feels for your kiss in undeniable.

«Why would I say no?» you smile.

«It’s sexy,» your lips brush against him as you speak «of course you can»

«It’s a bit embarrassing, actually» he scoffs.

«It isn’t,» you echo the words he said before to you «makes me crazy. The thought of me turning you on that much that you can- cum like that, fuck. It’s making me wet again»

«Yeah?» he hums on your lips, looking for recognition.

«Yes,» you peck him sweetly «yes, love. Don’t feel embarrassed. I would love it»

Damn, he loves you. He loves you. He just- he can’t even form a proper sentence, he just loves you.

«Do it» you smile and all he can do is hiss through his teeth. He watches as you lay down again, your pussy pink and your wetness dripping to your asshole. Fuck, he can do that, he definitely can. His cock is hurting just at the sight.

«Raise your hips a bit?» you ask. He nods as he shifts on the bed, weighting down on his knees and getting back down on you with his cock standing against his abdomen. Like this, there’s nothing that’s willing to provide him of some pressure, nothing to help himself with, and somehow it makes his cock throb even more cause he knows that you want him to cum just from you. You’re desperate for him as much as he is for you.

He breathes in loudly, closes his eyes as he tastes you again, tongue licking from your asshole to your cunt and sucking on the path where your juices dripped on. The taste is saccharine, the texture creamy, honey like. His cock throbs, twitches as he slurps them and wets his chin, your hands coming back on his hair only make him dip his tongue deep inside you. You’re too sensitive to let the pleasure take over you, but still you don’t move an inch. Jungkook moans and drinks down your juices, totally pussy drunk and in love with you. He feels his cock burn from how much blood is rushing to it, his skin sweating, his balls tightening so much that it makes him lose his mind and stand on the edge, helpless and needy to let go but too restricted by not really knowing how to. Until you push your hips to his face. You push your sweet fucking little pussy on his face and his cock just jerks, his balls suddenly loosen and he thanks the gods in his mind that his mouth his glued against you cause if it wasn’t for it, the noises he makes would probably wake up your neighbours and definitely your parents. His cum bursts out in more spurts, so harshly and so fucking much that he feels himself drained and all he can do is hide deeper into your core until it’s hard for him to breathe too, with his nose pushing against you and his high overpowering every part of him. The sheets get wet, his chest too, your asshole gets painted by a few drops and his heart flutters as he enters a world made of bliss and release, feeling your fingers on his cheeks and then on his neck, caressing it sweetly and reassuring him as he whimpers.

He stays like that for a bunch of seconds, feels his cock throb and lingers in the afterglow of his orgasm, until all he craves for is your arms wrapped around him and your whispers in his ears. He digs his hands on the mattress, lifts himself up with a groan and parts his face from your core, laying down on top of you as best as he can for the way he’s feeling now. You welcome him lovingly, your arms wrap around his bust and you stroke his hair as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck and gathers back his even breath, his heart pounds against your chest and it’s so overwhelming to have him in this state that you just shower him with all you can give. All the love you have, all the affirmations he needs to hear, all the thoughts that pass through your mind. You tell him how much you love him, how much you love when he lets go of himself like this, how you love to see him in this way, how he makes your heart flutter, what you’d be down to give just to make him smile. Jungkook whimpers when you stroke his back and kiss behind his ear, totally limp on your body.

«I- I don’t wanna be- don’t wanna live without you» it’s a spur of the moment, but he feels his words rooted deep inside him, written clearly and with bold capital letters. Your heart gets squeezed in the same way that you squeeze him in your arms.

«Don’t wanna» he mumbles childishly.

«Why are you saying that?» you coo sweetly.

«Just. Just to say it, I feel it» his words are muffled. He hides furthermore into you, arms wrapping around you and passing between your back and the mattress.

«Sometimes I think about it. Just the thought- don’t want it to ever happen» he wails.

«I’m here with you, baby» you kiss his neck, take in the warmth of his skin on your lips.

«I’ve got you. Always»

Going back home means getting back to waking up early and to rush not to be late, to spin around all day when you wish you were still laying in bed doing nothing. This Monday was extremely frustrating especially, after getting a taste of relaxing all day yesterday, coming back to work was hell. You spent your day strolling around a park with Jungkook and your parents, had lunch out in a restaurant, went shopping a little even. You came back to Seoul after dinner and when you arrived it was already late, you fell asleep like a baby and slept all night in your bed. Jungkook cuddled you until you fell asleep and then went back to his bed, not really sure about what you wanted cause you were too tired to even talk about it. When you woke up you felt a little disappointed to not feel him wrapped around you but you didn’t have the time to tell him cause you were already late for work since you didn’t wake up on time. You’re tired and sleepy and all you want to do is go back to your apartment, eat dinner and sleep.

«It’s tomorrow» Yoongi smiles. He and Taehyung came to visit you unexpectedly, but you don’t mind it at all. It’s almost time to go home anyway and your work hasn’t been too much today.

«Of course I’ll come!» you clap your hands excitedly. Hyunjoo and him decided to celebrate their pregnancy officially at Jin’s restaurant, you would never think about turning down their invitation.

«Jin will cook» Taehyung nods as he wraps his arm around your shoulder.

«He said he’ll make something really good»

«Yah, can’t you talk about something else? That’s not what’s important now» you scold him. Your friend raises his chin and lowers his bottom lip, a habit of him that you always found endearing and cute. You squeeze his cheek.

«Of course what’s important is the baby,» he nods «but I’m looking forward to dinner too»

Yoongi shakes his head as he scoffs: «The restaurant will be all for us, he’ll close it for tomorrow night»

«Ah, that makes me hungrier» Taehyung rubs his belly and you push him slightly as you laugh at him. His grip on you grows as he tries not to lose his balance, chuckling loudly.

«Will you be-»

Someone knocks on your door and you cut off your words. Yoongi goes to open it, peeks out from the wood, you expect him to bow politely at whoever it is but a second later he’s opening his arms wide and Jungkook appears in all his beautiful aura. You raise your eyebrows, you were not expecting him here at all, this morning you took your car, he didn’t need to come here to give you a ride.

«Jungkookah!» Taehyung calls out. He leaves your side to hug his younger friend, Jungkook’s eyes meet yours as he lays his head on his shoulder, definitely not understanding what’s happening in your studio.

«Why are you here?» he asks. Yoongi hits his back lightly.

«Can’t we visit her? Why are you here?» he chuckles. Jungkook shakes his head as he parts from Taehyung.

«I came to visit too» he mumbles. He finished work earlier than usual today and he wasn’t in the mood to go back home and wait for you there, so he thought that he could’ve just stopped by and wait for you to finish, steal a kiss or two and stay silent while you worked. Apparently, that’s not going to happen.

«You’re something else,» Yoongi laughs «you were complaining all day about work but now that you’ve finished you’re here»

Jungkook’s cheeks color of a red shade as he looks at you. He talked to Yoongi a lot today, more then usual through texts at least, and here he is revealing them all. Not that he minds, after all there’s nothing wrong in it.

«Didn’t wanna go home yet,» he chuckles «thought I could stay here while you were working but apparently there’s a party I didn’t know about»

You scoff at his words, Taehyung gets back to your side and rubs your hair in the same way you would with a pet or a child, his ministrations make you whine as you try to stop him and laugh at the same time.

«Yah, why don’t you make me do that?» he scolds.

«I asked you sometime ago but you told me I couldn’t. Jungkook can?»

You step on his foot to make him stop messing up your hair, he opens his mouth wide at the sudden burst of anger but laughs even harder.

«He didn’t ask me» you explain. Jungkook shakes his head at the side, slightly giggling.

«Cause you make me do it sometimes» he chirps in. Taehyung closes his fists and finally stops teasing you, eyebrows furrowed and lips contracted in a scowl.

«You’re the worst! How can you do this to me?» he slightly raises his voice.

«Yah, she’s working! Stop that!» Yoongi tries to look as stern as he can but his voice breaks out in a giggle too.

«Next time I ask you you should tell me to come» your friend pats your shoulder.

«Since we’re here, why don’t we eat together?» he goes. Your eyes widen at the request and Taehyung pouts at your reaction.

«Hyunjoo is waiting for me» Yoongi declines, eyes on Jungkook.

«Sorry hyung, but not tonight» he mumbles with a grimace. Taehyung squeezes you to his side.

«Please?» he begs with his voice all soft and pouty. You roll your eyes, he knows well how to get to you with all the years of friendship behind you. Still, you know his ways too.

«Not tonight, Tae. I’m tired. We’ll be together tomorrow»

«But tomorrow we’re all together!» he whines.

«Something chill and calm, when we’re together it’s always chaotic»

«That’s because you’re one of those who makes it chaotic» Jungkook laughs.

«Please?» he goes on, giving a sneaky glance to his younger friend. You look at Jungkook, Taehyung squeezes you so tight that you almost feel suffocated.

«These two are the worst. Let’s do it us two. Let’s go eat sushi, it’s on me»

Taehyung is like this. Physical and endearing, your relationship has always been on the soft side, more clingy to what it’s like with the others. You’re used to it and it’s like this for you too but one of the peaks about it is that you can never say no to him, not when he pouts and asks so nicely, because you find him just so cute and adorable and you love him a lot. It’s been a while since you spent time together too, so you know that he misses you a bit, he told you about it when he texted you at lunch. You weren’t expecting to see him with Yoongi at all when he opened the door before, weren’t expecting Yoongi either.

«I hate you» you mumble. He jumps on his feet, already knowing what your answer means, Jungkook sighs deeply and lets his head fall backwards. He wishes he could tell you that he wanted to take you home and cuddle you until you felt asleep tonight too, but he knows he can’t in front of them. So all there’s left to do is let go and shut his eyes close.

«I’ll come too» he groans.

«Yah, look at him. You’re really something else» Taehyung grins.

«Let’s go»

You ate sushi. Taehyung really missed spending time with you, when you’re together by yourselves it’s different then when people are around, more calm. He missed talking to you a lot, especially since in the last months you’ve been seeing each other twice or thrice a week but every time there’s always everyone else too, so getting to spend tonight just eating peacefully and talking to his friends feels relaxing. Beside for the fact that Jungkook had a scowl on his face for the last twenty minutes.

«What’s wrong with you?» he asks as he sips from his beer. Jungkook frowns.

«What?» he echoes.

«You’re annoyed by something» his friend points at him. You look at the man in front of you, his eyes shift to yours immediately.

«I’m not annoyed by anything»

«It doesn’t seem like it» you mumble.

Jungkook shrugs.

«I’m just tired, can’t we go home?»

«Now?» Taehyung raises his eyebrows at his friend, Jungkook munches on his lips and relaxes his shoulders.

«I’m tired» he mumbles. In fact, he doesn’t look full of energy, but not as tired as he says you guess.

«You’re getting old» Tae points at his face.

«Too bad for you, you’re older than me» he grins. A second later your friend scoffs at his attitude and throws his arm around you.

«What do you like about him? Why are you two best friends?» he teases. Jungkook crosses his arms on the table, he stares deep into his soul with a smirk as he waits for your answer.

«You’re friends with him too, you know» you snort.

«And sometimes I ask myself the same question»

«Oh, please» Kook shakes his head. He knows that you’re both teasing him but he hoped you would cut the chase. He wishes he could just tell Taehyung the rest of the story.

«You’re annoying,» your friend raises his forefinger «touchy,» he lifts his middle finger «too noisy,»

«You are too»

«I didn’t finish;» he narrows his eyes at him.

«I’m not touchy,» Jungkook looks at you with his pupils pleading «I’m not, am I?»

You raise your eyebrows: «A little?»

He blinks outraged, face blank and eyes wide.

«Why are you taking his side? You should be with me!» he whines.

«I love Taehyung too much» you shrug and giggle while he scoffs at the scene. Really outraged. Tae messes up your hair for the nth time today while trying to softly caress them as he would do with a puppy, making you slap his hand away. Your eyes meet Jungkook’s just to see him breathe in deeply through his nostrils, eyes staring at you as you laugh.

«What?-» Taehyung cuts your upcoming question off.

«And you talk to yourself a lot» he adds another finger.

Jungkook sneers at the last one, he kicks him with his foot from under the table. The man wails and bends over, hands hiding under the wood to cover the injured part.

«And did I say touchy?» he keens, receiving a death stare from the other one.

«Why? It’s true!»

«Yah, stop» you shake your head at the two, patting Taehyung’s shoulder.

«Did he really hurt you?» you try not to laugh but the whole situation just makes you want to giggle out loud. Still, you keep it silent.

«He works out too much» Taehyung blubbers, bringing his head on the table to cry silently.

«Come on, it wasn’t even a kick. You’re getting old» Jungkook huffs, but a second later his face goes from annoyed to actually worried, eyes clear and lips pouty.

«Hyung, did I hurt you for real?» he cock his eyebrows and you can see the way he munches on the inside of his cheek nervously. Taehyung sighs deeply, raising his middle finger in the air.

«Not really» he laughs. The younger lets go of a restrained breath, his shoulders fall as relief washes over him.

«You’re the worst» he mewls. Silence fills the air until Taehyung breaks out in a chuckle, you two following. Jungkook’s cheekbones are high and he wrinkles his nose as he laughs.

«Can we go for real?» he mumbles.

«Yah!»

There’s something bothering Jungkook that both you and him can’t quite grasp. It’s feeble and velvety but his mood is slightly off and the fact that he doesn’t know what’s making it like this is even worse. What he notices though, is that it started when he came into your office yesterday and it’s been going on until now. It’s making him huff at his desk as he tries to concentrate on the contract in front of him. He read the paper again and again until he decided that it would be better if he took a break cause his brain isn’t really listening now. He takes out his phone out, scrolls through his contacts to call Yoongi and ask him about the time you’re going to meet tonight, but a second later his phone rings and your name comes up on the screen. He clicks on the green button without even thinking about it.

«Koo» you call. He smiles at your tone, fixing his position on the chair.

«Yes?» he mumbles.

«You don’t need to come pick me up tonight»

He narrows his eyes and pouts his lips, not really understanding. This morning he gave you a ride and took you to work, you woke up late and apparently he woke up too soon and wasn’t feeling sleepy anymore, so with the excuse of that and the thought of not seeing you for the whole day he gladly and not so easily convinced you to get into his car. He doesn’t get why now you’re telling-

«Taehyung told me he’ll pick me up,» you explain «is it okay for you?»

He wrinkles his nose, eyes staring at the wall in front of him. He knows that you’re asking because last time this happened he said that he wanted to spend some time with you together before meeting the others.

«Of course» he nods.

«What time are we meeting?»

«Aish, you never check the group chat,» you scold «Yoongi sent a message this morning, it’s at seven»

«Too many messages,» he shakes his head

«guess I’ll see you then?»

«Of course» you smile. He’s about to close the call when he hears you call him again.

«Koo?»

He hums in response.

«Is something wrong?» you question, voice sweet. He shrugs, fills his cheeks with air just to pass it from one to the other for a few times, letting it out through his lips with a sigh.

«I don’t know,» he murmurs «I’m feeling a bit annoyed but I don’t know what it is»

You nod on the phone, putting him on speaker to lay your head on the desk.

«Does it have to do with the ride?»

«No, it’s not that» he shakes his head no.

«I really don’t know»

«Talk to me if there’s anything wrong,» you mumble «I’ll listen»

«I know» he beams. Hearing you say that makes him feel a bit lighter.

«I love you» your voice comes out low from the microphone and it makes him lick his lips as he smiles, reassured.

«I love you too»

Jungkook is already there when you enter the restaurant, standing by Namjoon that laughs at what Jin just said he shakes his head and throws his head back. He smiles at Joon and pats his back as he responds to Jin, Hana coming by his side to kiss his cheek just for the sake of it. He lays his hand on her hip, smiles back at her before going back to their conversation. Jungkook’s eyes instantly lay on his hand that stays still around her, his mind filling up with your face and how he wishes he could just do the same naturally, without thinking too much about it. Just a second later, he hears your voice from behind him and he spins on his heels almost hitting Namjoon in his ministrations. Fucking hell, you’re breathtaking.

Yoongi did say to dress good but not totally elegant, but this, shit this is art for the eyes. You look stunning, totally gorgeous and he thinks he’s probably drooling by now.

You hug Yoongi and Hyunjoo, he hears you tell her how beautiful she looks, you caress her bumpy belly sweetly, but fuck he doesn’t think you realise how good you look. And to think that this morning you were running all over the place saying that you were going to change your clothes at work and that you didn’t know what you got from your wardrobe cause you were running late.

«Jungkookah,» Namjoon pushes him with his elbow slightly «you’re giving your game away. Shut your mouth at least»

He gulps, fixes his posture. Fuck, he wishes he could tell him that you already know, there’s no point in denying it.

«She’s so…»

«I know,» Joon pats his shoulder «but she’s still your best friend so you should go greet her, maybe?»

His words don’t seem venomous at the beginning, he just nods to himself and strolls towards you. Taehyung is by your side and greeting the others with a big boxy smile on his face, he does the same with the maknae and decides to walk over to Namjoon a second later. Jungkook wraps his arm around your shoulder as he would do usually, squeezes you to his side until you have to pinch his nipple to let you out of his grasp. The scowl that follows on his face doesn’t go unnoticed even by Jin and Namjoon that are standing a few meters away.

«You hurt me» he keens.

«Oh, come on, I didn’t» you scoff. The light makes your skin glow, it takes his breath away. It doesn’t matter for how many years this has been going on, his heart sings always the same melody and the tempo goes by quicker when you look at him and smile.

«When did you arrive?»

«Oh, five minutes ago» he shrugs. You nod, look at the others.

«Eunji?»

«She’s on her way with Jimin»

Taehyung comes back to you, hooks is arm around yours and beckons you to do the same with Jungkook’s before walking towards the table to make you sit between them, he almost looks like he came out of a vintage movie with his beige wide leg pants and the satisfied smile on his lips.

The others arrive in a bunch of minutes, Eunji and Jimin with some bags hanging by his arm, Hoseok just a few moments later dressed in colourful clothes and a beanie that probably costs more than what you and Jungkook pay for your monthly rent.

With the table full, Jin announces the beginning of the dinner and the usual chaotic atmosphere begins, everyone talking and remembering things that make you laugh and nod every ten seconds. Jungkook notices the way you look at him from time to time, just like you always do when there are people around you. He sees how when you talk about something your eyes meet his first, how you punch his shoulder lightly when he moans too loud cause his beer is just too good.

«You did that on purpose!» Yoongi laughs.

«I didn’t! She came out of nowhere!» Hoseok points at Hana that keeps laughing uncontrollably.

«I told you I was coming with the cake!» she can’t even speak from how much she’s laughing.

«She did» you nod as you giggle.

«Did you have to come in that moment?» Hoseok takes a sip from his drink.

«Yes, it was the moment of the cake, you were the one in the way!»

«Aish, unbelievable» Jin shakes his head.

«You’re trying to blame us when you were the one with his mind elsewhere»

«I didn’t do it on purp-»

«Oh, you did» Yoongi’s shoulders lift repeatedly as his chest shakes.

«I’m betting everything you have that you did it on purpose cause we had a fight ten minutes before»

Jungkook bursts out laughing: «Yah, why would you bet everything he has?»

You cackle beside him, your head falling backwards.

«Cause he has more than me! Have you see his beanie?» the older points at Hoseok’s head.

«It’s a gift, dummy» he clicks his tongue on his palate «and I’m telling you I didn’t!»

The memory is one of those that make you titter when you think about it. It was Yoongi’s birthday and Jin gladly made his cake with so much affection, you remember that he spent the whole day working on it, it was so pretty and you could already feel it melt in your mouth. You were excited to try it cause you knew that he made it based on Yoongi’s likes that in terms of cakes are pretty similar to yours, however, you never got the chance to taste it. Hana was helping him in the kitchen and you swear you heard her say that she was going to come out with the cake but-

«Aish, you literally hit it just at the right spot to make me dig my face in it!»

That’s what happened. Hoseok turned around just as Hana was coming out of the door and he hit it with his elbow as he was turning, Yoongi was right behind him and Hana just a few centimetres away trying to pass through. The cake went upwards and Yoongi couldn’t even blink twice that he had it all over his face, face deep into the cream.

«Yah, hajima-» Jimin is on the verge of tears «I can’t see when I laugh»

«You’re so dumb» Eunji hits his shoulder.

«What, what? I really can’t see!»

The waiters bring the food to the table, Jin slaps the ass of one of them as he puts the dishes in front of him and it makes Jimin laugh harder as the poor guy scoffs at him. He talked a lot about one of the waiters especially, said that he had a lot of potential and was a really good person, so you guess it’s him.

A dish full of kkaennip jangajji gets placed in front of you, rice as banchan on the side, chopsticks shining.

«I was craving this yesterday!» Hyunjoo wheezes at the sight, eyes wide as she dives down on her plate and smells it with all her might. Hana and you giggle at your friend, Eunji smiling happily at her. It’s so good to see her happy with such a little thing, sometimes she texts the girl group chat deep at night craving for things that make you wince; just four days ago she was craving for a combination that- ew, pancakes and ketchup.

Jin pats Yoongi’s shoulder.

«Yoongi made me cook it appositely»

You don’t expect her to lift her head with that look on her face, but she does. Her eyes water and the corners of her lips lower at the look of the future father of her child.

«I love you» she sniffs, making Yoongi burst out in a laugh.

«I know, I love you too sweetie» he rubs her back lovingly «now eat, will you?»

Hoseok’s eyes are big just at the scene in front of him, totally taken aback by the sweetness between the two. Jungkook feels his inside burn as he stares down at his plate, fingers tingling just to touch you in any way possible, even a brush of his fingers on your shoulder would be enough. He wishes he could just show you the same as Yoongi does with Hyunjoo. You only smile at the two, not really noticing the way his eyes peek at you.

«Okay, I’m hungry» Jimin is the first to dig down into his meal, chopsticks grabbing the perilla leaf from his plate to wrap it around the rice.

The table fills with giggles and snorts once more, the atmosphere is light and cozy. Your friends make it easy for you to love them, every single one. Of course they have their moments - like that time that you fought with Taehyung cause he called you four times in an hour while you were at work, or the other when Hoseok and you fought over a pen -, you have them too, but they’re like a second family, you wouldn’t want it in any other way. Your eyes meet Jungkook at the thought, almost as if he’s the bright sun behind the clouds, and you feel it rooted deep inside you, how much he means. His mouth his full, cheeks swollen as he munches on the rice but when he feels your eyes on him he turns around immediately. Even when he look like a squirrel full of almonds, you-

«Shibal, why are they like this?» Taehyung huffs loudly beside you. Your attention shifts to him, he has a big scowl on his face and he stares angrily at the perilla leaves in front of him, chopsticks trying as much as they can to separate one from the other. You scoff at him, shake your head.

Jungkook still has his eyes on you, he watches as you bring your chopsticks to the dish to grab the corner of the leaf and slide one of the sticks under it. You slowly move it from side to side to make it part from the other underneath, his eyes wide and his cheeks full like a mochi he stares as you bring it to Taehyung’s dish and place it on his rice.

Only then he gulps: «Yah!»

Your shoulder raise frightened, head turning immediately with your heart in your throat. You see his mouth open, eyes big and eyebrows cocked in a shocked expression, Namjoon’s words echo in his ears. Now, they definitely feel venomous.

You’re still his best friend.

«Wha- what? What happened?» you quiver.

Taehyung peeks over your shoulder, eyes glued to Jungkook’s face. Jimin and Eunji in front of you stare at the scene with their knowing expressions but they clearly don’t understand what’s happening cause no one knows the full version of the story. And Jungkook suddenly feels his stomach close up and his breath getting stuck as he looks at you.

«You- why… I can’t do this,» he shakes his head and brings his hands to his lap «I’m going out for a minute»

His chair chimes strident as he slides it backwards, and a second later he’s walking towards the door of the restaurant with his hands by his sides and everyone looking at him. You don’t seem to remember how to breathe for a bunch of seconds.

What happened? What-

«Oh, fuck» Jimin brings his hands on his hair, tugging at them nervously. Eunji gulps down her food, eyes on the empty spot beside you, Taehyung looks over at the door, Namjoon breathes in nervously and Jin and Hana look each other with eyes that seem to communicate words that you don’t grasp simply because you aren’t looking anywhere but at Jungkook’s dish, his chopsticks laid on the brims.

Yoongi clears his throat, looks over at her girlfriend, Hoseok peeks at you and a second later you’re storming out of the restaurant with their eyes on you and yours already trying to see Jungkook from the glass of the door.

When it shuts behind you, Namjoon licks his lips and smiles.

«Finally, it had to happen» he nods light hearted, Yoongi scoffing as he tries to get a look of you two outside.

«Yah, give them some privacy» Taehyung scolds his hyung, Hoseok shaking his head at the group.

You can read the second part here: Closer: Too Close

Read more about Closer here: Closer

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springalwayscomes · 8 months

Text

Closer: Too Close (II)

Closer Closer: Too Close (Teaser) Before this comes: Closer: Too Close Masterlist Taglist

Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… closer may be too close for you to handle.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers

Wordcount: 47.5k

Author’s Note: Hello, here it is!! Honestly I didn’t think I would write a second part to Closer, I felt like the end of that was the best I could give to these two, but it received so much love and when I read it again I couldn’t hold myself back. Still, I consider the first part the main one, you can read that without having to read this. I would add though, that these two here just make me want to scream for the bond they have. I didn’t say the time I would publish it to feel a little more relaxed with the editing but you asked me before and I thought I’d make it on time for 1 am KST so sorry if I kept you waiting! I hope you’ll like this, and happy birthday Jungkook! Take this as a little gift💜

P.s I hate tumblr, I had to split the story in different parts because it was too slow and apparently every post has a limit of 1000 blocks, so here you’ll be able to find the beginning of your reading:

Closer: Too Close, it’s all part of the same story!

Jungkook is standing not too far, eyes on the ground and hands deep in the pockets of his skinny jeans he munches on his lips nervously and you see already that he’s trying to take in deep breaths, his chest is swelling.

«Koo» you call out as you get closer. He turns immediately, eyes meeting yours without any efforts.

«What happened?»

He shakes his head, looks over at the building in front of him. You take his side, attach your back to the wall of the restaurant.

«What is it?» you ask.

«Talk to me,» your hand strokes his back «please?»

Silence fills the space between you, the space outside, every road near to you for a second. Time goes by slow as you wait for him to say anything, the way his breath comes out shaky makes you munch on your lips. A clacson echoes from afar and Jungkook finally opens his lips, but just to close them again for a few seconds.

«I- We’re still the same» he blurts out.

«We’re still best friends and you’re still my friend» he doesn’t even look at you as he speaks.

«What- what does that mean? Of course, we’re still-»

«You’re still my best friend and it’s fucking killing me, Y/n» he finally faces you. What you read in his expression is scary, it makes you lower your shoulders and double check for any signs of teasing, but there’s isn’t any.

«What- I’m not following you»

«I can’t-» he shakes his head «I can’t do this. I love you so fucking much it’s freaking killing me and you’re here putting Taehyung’s perilla leaves in his rice when I can’t even hug you in public»

«What-»

«What what?» he exclaims, gesturing with hands «You’re still my best friend! Nothing changed and I-»

«Everything changed, Jungkook!» you can’t believe what he’s saying.

«I love you! What do you mean nothing changed?»

«It doesn’t matter- not- it matters, fuck it matters, but it doesn’t matter cause I can’t show you!» his tone raises.

You feel the need to wrap your arms around him suddenly. You’re blowing smoke through your ears but the need to make him calm down takes over and all you end up doing is take him in your hold and squeeze him tight. Jungkook stays limp with his head hanging onto your shoulder, eyes watering as your hands stroke his back. It remembers him of when he was shaking and crying before he blurted his feelings out, the fear of losing you and the need of having you but not as close as he wants look kind of similar now. He knows, fuck he knows it deep inside him that your love is enough, more than enough actually, more than he ever could ask for, but having to restrain himself from showing it it’s so fucking hard that it’s killing him. Especially when he sees you do those little gestures for the others, while he keeps repeating himself that he should be careful. You’re not even the same as before, it’s all blurred just like his vision right now.

«Talk to me?» you whisper. He lets out a deep breath, shaky and frail, totally vulnerable now that he has you wrapped around him. He digs his nose into your skin, nuzzles in the crook of your neck just for the sake of it. He has you, he repeats to himself. He has you.

«I feel like-» he gulps «like I have you only when we’re alone. Like- you belong to me only when we’re together»

His fingers entangle with the cloth of your dress as you stroke his neck slowly. You wait for him to add more, but there’s only the raise of his chest against yours following.

«Why did you have to do that?» he whines high pitched.

«What did I do?» you hum. His digits dig into your back.

«The perilla leaf» he whines again. It hits you just now and Jungkook feels his cheek burn at his words cause he knows that it may sound childish, but it’s just- annoying.

«You’re- the perilla leaf? You’re jealous?» you can’t believe it.

«Cause I peeled off his perilla leaf?»

«Yes!» he nuzzles his nose deeper into you, almost as if by doing so his mind could hide from the outwardly flimsy problem.

«You should do that to me! It’s intimate, too sweet to do with him!»

«Jungkook, I was helping Taehyung out, he’s my friend»

«You helped him with your chopsticks, that you put into your mouth and eat from, and it’s- why didn’t you do it with me?» he mewls. You seriously don’t think you should be laughing right now, cause he’s serious and it’s something important for him yet you can’t help but find the situation amusing.

«You were fine on your own!» you blurt.

«And I would’ve done the same if-»

«No you wouldn’t, cause you don’t want them to know that there’s more between us» he squeezes you tighter but levels his face to yours, blinking as he takes in your closeness.

«We’re barely speaking when we’re all together. You’re so into not showing what we are that you’re barely acting like you’re my best friend, it wasn’t like this before»

«That’s not true! I-»

«The other time, you didn’t greet me,» he reminds you of what happened at Eunji’s place «yesterday when I came in you didn’t say anything»

«Cause they were there» you huff back, but he just raises his eyebrows and nods.

«Yes, but it wasn’t like this before. You- didn’t even say hi. Earlier too, all you do is… getting far. I can’t even put my arm around you anymore that- you feel the need to part, at Taehyung’s place too, why do we have to wait?» he keens at the last sentence.

«You’re far, too far and I- I can’t… I don’t like this. I feel like we’re not- like we’re back at having each other but not wholly. I want- shit, I want you. I want to have you, in front of everyone,» he blubbers as he stares down at you «I don’t want to care if they see us being too sweet or clingy and just being a couple»

Jungkook isn’t filtering his words anymore. His chest feels heavy and now he realises that- it was this that was making him annoyed. Getting to you for a second but feeling distant the second later, this continuous game of seesaw where you’re on the same board, apparently on the same page but still so far and out of reach, you balance yourself on the same point only for just a second, and then you’re back to where you were.

His breath fans your face and your hair tickle your skin, he lays his forehead on yours: «I can’t hold it back, I’ve been holding myself back for so much time that… I don’t want to. And I know that you need time and you’re doing this to get used to us and it’s going to happen soon anyway but- I just wish I could show you. I want to do the same that Jin does with Hana and Yoongi with Hyunjoo and even Jimin with Eunji, I-» he stops himself to let out a deep breath and tries to regain his lucidity.

He knows, he knows that you’re doing this to love him in the right way for you but… he just can’t hold it back anymore. Too much time, too many years, too many moments in which he wished he could just be more for you, too many feelings never told or shared. Your love is enough to keep him through all of this, to make him keep going without asking a second time to where you’re heading, but when you seem out of reach its just-

«It’s scary» he realises.

Silence fills the air up again and for a moment Jungkook feels as far as he’s ever been even though he’s in your arms in front of you, just an inch away.

«I’m scared» he breathes out. His eyes previously lost in thought now look at you with more focus.

«It reminds me of when we were friends and all I could do was wonder how it could be and have you only when we had sex. When I made love to you that time, I-» he shakes his head «I felt like it was going to be the most I could get of you, and I needed to cherish it and live it as much as possible cause I knew that you didn’t want more from me and that that was all I could get. Like I had to get enough from it, cause it was the closest I could have you and in the deepest way possible. That time, it felt consuming and I cried so much when you left my bed cause I knew- I knew that it was it, just that»

«Even though I had you in the deepest way possible you- you weren’t mine. And I know that it’s different now cause we talked about it and we’re trying but- I don’t want to feel this,» his fingers cradle the shirt on his chest «I don’t want to get just enough of you»

He munches on his lips for a few seconds, eyes low on his shoes as he tries to understand the right words to say, they just get mixed up and all he can do is hoping for you to realise what he’s meaning.

«I want to love you. I wanna be sweet and gentle and I want to see your eyes shine when you look at me cause you’re in love with me as much as I’m in love with you. I don’t want to always wish for us to be alone to be able to have you in this way, and I know that you’re doing this to get used to us and feel more comfortable but it’s making me lose my mind. Taehyung is always hugging you and doing all kinds of stuff and I’m- I’m your boyfriend» it sounds more like a question than an affirmation «and I can’t even hug you as I used to cause you think they would understand. I can do it, but know just- it’s killing me»

His rant comes to an end. He just shuts his mouth, regains his breath as he looks at your face, he desperately tries to understand what you’re thinking and feeling, his heart thumps in his throat and he’s sweating even though it’s almost about to rain and there’s a soft wind blowing. Truth is, his words leave you thoughtless. You don’t know what to think, what to say, what’s the right answer. Because inside you, you’re the one who wants him wholly. You want him, crave for his love, need his lips, yearn for his comfort and words, breathe for his presence. But outside, when you’re met with the world, all you can do is face the way you are and understand what you should be doing to make this relationship solid and strong. Maybe you’ve been wrong all along and should’ve just lost your senses to him from the very beginning. You should’ve told to everyone what happened between you and should’ve just took it as it was, but something inside you doesn’t fit well with it because you just don’t feel ready enough. You love him, you love him so much you’d be ready to do everything he asks you to, but this somehow makes you quiver.

«I’m scared too,» you breathe «cause what if- like, what if we do this and it doesn’t work? What if we’re not ready, if I can’t love you right? I know Jungkook my friend and how to love you in that way, I don’t- it’s sounds stupid, but what if the way I love you isn’t what you were seeking for me all this time and I just- let you down? If I’m not enough and everyone knows, what will we do then, these are the thoughts that stop me. Not for our friends or in general, but for us too, how will we act? I’m scared because- fuck, the thought of losing you makes me freeze in fear, Jungkook. I’m trying, I’m really trying to getting used to this but before- before it was… it didn’t feel like a thin line between us. Like, I knew that you were there even if we screamed and yelled at each other, you were just there. If we break up, our friendship… what will happen to that? What-»

«It’s not happening» he cuts you off. You shake your head.

«You say that now, but-»

«No, I say it cause it’s not happening, in any near vision of the future I have or the rarest ones» his nostrils flatter as he speaks and his tone is firm and still as a mountain on the ground, roots deep and strong in his soil.

«I loved you for six years. I went through hell just to get to this, I loved you for every second of the day and all I did was be beside you,» he clenches his jaw «it’s simply not happening. For me, at least. I know what I feel, and I know that the only reason I kept staying beside you was because of you, simply. I love you» his eyes are watering.

«I love you so much that I don’t picture myself without you. I don’t see a future where you’re not in it, and even though I know I could live without you, I just don’t want that» he shakes his head with vigour, his eyes glued to yours make you gulp harshly.

«Even when we fight, even now. It’s still the same as before, you can yell at me and tell me that you hate me, that I’m annoying, I’m a jerk or whatever the hell you want but- I’m grounded. I don’t move, I don’t care. If there’s a scenario in which you won’t love me anymore then-» he cuts himself off, his right eye spilling out a tear that marks his cheek «all I could do would be to accept it. But that won’t happen for me. I know it, it won’t. I’ll be waiting with my arms open like I told you last time and the time before, even in this kind of relationship. You’re still my best friend, other than my partner and- I won’t waver. I promise you, and I’m so sorry if in some way I made you think that you couldn’t love me in the way I want you to cause- no» he scoffs as his eyes fill up more with tears.

«Hell, no. There’s no one that could love me in a better way, I- your love is just- it consumes me. It makes me feel in all kinds of way and I can’t get enough of it. I want it, all the time and in every situation because of that» he sniffles and licks his lips, the salty taste of tears makes him look down once more to the ground.

«I don’t want to pressure you. I don’t want to do anything that might scare you off and I’m as scared as you now cause- what if you’re saying this cause you’re- you’re giving up? You don’t want… I can’t even say it»

«Jungkook, no» something inside you makes you grab him by his shoulders. His lips are reddish and his cheeks wet make your eyes tingle. Shit, no.

«What if I scared you off with everything I said? You might say no now but if you’re not ready to tell them, it means you’re insecure about us, right?» his lips tremble slightly and god, your heart clenches.

«You don’t know if there’s a future for us, what I see isn’t there for you» his voice is so thin that you feel you’re about to break. And as if it wasn’t enough, it starts to rain almost as if someone from the clouds was listening ready to answer to all of his negative thoughts with a sign. His eyes stay on yours though, a shadow of fear lights them up just to hide between his pupils a second later. Jungkook munches the inside of his upper lip.

«You know I don’t move fast and I like things to take their time, right? It was just what I feel but it doesn’t have to be what you feel now, but I love you. For real baby, it doesn’t matter if for now you don’t see us together in the future, just-»

«I see that, Jungkook» you stop his words with a caress of your hand on his wet cheek, nodding. You could- you couldn’t bare the thought of him having such worries in his mind, not when your soul is so intertwined with his that you can’t see anymore where yours starts and ends.

«I see it, but it feels scary cause we’ve never been on this path before. It’s different, but I see us in that way. I’m just scared that my fantasy might not become reality, that’s- that’s why I wanted to get used to this first but now- I can’t» you shake your head. You see his face go from relieved to understanding to scared again, hands grabbing your sides at the fear of you walking away and out of his reach for the last part of your statement. He tells himself to breathe, to just wait for you to speak and relax but all he can do is hold his breath until he’s running out of air.

«I can’t do this if it hurts you. I don’t want to, so- what… what do you think we should do? Do you want to tell them? Do you-»

«I didn’t tell you all of that to convince you to tell them. It was just becoming too much and I couldn’t hold it anymore in, you don’t have to- I mean, maybe I hoped you would’ve, but you don’t have to» he pulls you closer to nuzzle his face against your neck once more. His tears wet your skin and you feel his hot breath fanning you when he realises a sigh at the contact, your body still close and your arms wrapping around him once more just as you did at the beginning of your talk. It’s reassuring, familiar. It makes him relax a bit and melt into you.

«To have you like this it’s not enough because I wish I could show you and give you more than what I can give when we’re only by ourselves, but if that’s what you want and need now…»

«Let’s tell them» you blurt. Your hand caresses his hair, eyes staring at the wall in front of you. Jungkook hums with a cute astonished tone that makes you scoff and tell yourself that it will be okay, his face raises to yours to study your features. You gulp down your insecurities for as much as you can and nod at him.

«Let’s tell them. I don’t want to hurt you by keep doing this. I think that-» you breathe in deeply, pondering on what his words made you realise just a second ago «my doubts are still going to be here for as long as I don’t get comfortable enough with this, like with myself not being scared. If it will take long, we’ll have to act like this for too much time? And I guess that if my fears are going to become real it will happen anyway even if they don’t know»

«What do you mean it will take long?» he smacks your asscheek lightly, a endearing smile appears on his lips. It makes you smile too.

«It will take long to get used to me loving you?» he scoffs loudly, eyes moving to the side for a second and then getting back to yours.

You giggle at him, squeeze him tighter «You know what I mean» you huff.

«And yes, I’m still not used to you loving me in this way too»

«I will help you get used to it,» he pecks your cheek «just please do what you feel more comfortable to. Don’t feel pressured or forced, I don’t wanna do that. Whatever way, baby. I’m willing to accept whatever you can give me»

«Let’s not do that anymore,» you let out a shaky breath «maybe I need to feel a bit of pressure to do this, so please pressure me? Let’s go inside and just tell them? Pressure me, please»

Jungkook doesn’t mean to, but he laughs at your words. He laughs and throws his head back, hair a bit damp and laughter crystal clear and high pitched. Only when he comes back with his eyes on you the corners of his lips lower and set themselves on a little, sweet and reassuring smile that makes your heart fuller.

«Y/n, I can really wait. But just reassure me from time to time cause I’ve been holding back for so much and sometimes-»

«Can you reassure me too, now? And push me over the edge a little? It’s- bad to say it but I think I really needed for you to break out like this to make me gather the courage to face what really scared me. I think that it will help me to have you like this, in other situations too? Maybe it will feel more like before and my mind will stop drawing the line between friendship and- this, and realise that it’s just the same as before»

You really believe it, or at least have faith in it. Maybe feeling him the way you used to feel him before, without having to worry of getting yourselves away from the eyes of your friends or the others in general will make you feel more comfortable, more familiar with what you’re sharing without the fear of losing it, because it’s just the same as before. Jungkook is still your best friend, will always be. You want him to tease you when your hair are both grey and to kiss you when your energies won’t be as high as now, bring some comfort and sense of youthful to your older days. To be honest, you always had that image in your mind. Even when you didn’t know what you were feeling… Jungkook was always there, in your farthest visions of future, teasing and annoying the hell out of you with his ways but still there after all the time. It’s just the same as before with this too, you guess.

«And this? What’s this?» he pinches your hip teasingly, making you hiss at him.

«Aish, Jungkook!» you keen at the muffled pain and he beams lightly, covering the injured zone with his hand.

«Sorry,» he pouts, eyes big «does it sting?»

«A little, I felt better before» you scoff.

«This what?» you echo, he clicks his tongue.

«You said friendship and this. What’s this?» he’s smiling even as he speaks, cheekbones high. And with his eyes so deep and profound that shine even under the light drops of the rain you can see it from a mile away that he just wants to hear you say it out loud.

«This,» you peck his petals sweetly, his bottom lip sticks out a little to maintain the contact just a millisecond more as you part, eyes dreamy «relationship?»

He stretches out a hum: «So I’m you’re boyfriend now?» he scoffs.

You raise your eyebrows.

«You said that before. I was just following»

«Keep following then, I like it» he titters, doing his labelled nose scrunch that makes your insides twist and turn.

«We’re in a relationship» he hums again, all smiley and lovey-dovey. You shake your head.

«Are you a teen or what?» you laugh. His chuckles make the sound of the rain become faint until it’s just indistinct silence.

«Yah, stop teasing me! We never said that out loud»

«Just this once» you let go, slapping his asscheek.

«I think you have a problem with my butt,» he clicks his tongue «you like it a little too much, why do you slap it all the time?» he giggles.

«Aish, stop that. We should go back in» you shrug, Jungkook squeezes you just once more.

«That was- I was trying to push you over the edge?» he doesn’t even know what he’s saying.

«Guess that didn’t work» he scoffs. You can’t hold it, you kiss his lips and god yes, this works definitely. He totally wasn’t expecting it, not when you’re outside and your friends just meters away and could come out in any second, not in this way at least. So deeply and loving and needy that he moans in your mouth and his knees feel like jelly, your tongue moves in slow motions and takes all of his love from his chest just to make it yours cause it was yours already in the first place.

«Try something else?» you coo when you part. Jungkook breathes in deep, trying to regain what’s left of his sanity after your attempt at killing him with your sweet ways.

«Are you sure, you really want it?» his tone is serious, thoughtful as he looks for any signs of quiver on your face. Having you like this it’s too much too handle but the thought of forcing you into doing something that may make you uncomfortable feels worse. When you nod sure though, all he can do is promise to try to melt your insecurities more everyday with every part of him and love you in the most honest, vulnerable and deepest way he can. He knows it from the way you’re looking at him that you’re not going to change your mind, you’re just looking for his affirmation, you just need to be encouraged.

«If you really want to, let’s tell them,» he pecks your forehead «just, not today? I feel like they have to tell us something important and I don’t want to shift the spotlight on us»

«What something?» you wonder.

«Don’t know, but it’s weird that they invited just to celebrate officially. We all already knew they were expecting» he caresses your hip as he speaks, after all it makes sense, you guess. It’s been a while since they announced Hyunjoo was pregnant, why celebrate now? They would’ve done it sooner, maybe.

«Okay» you nod. It’s weird how you feel your body lighter, you weren’t realising it before but now you do notice the difference, and it feels- less burdensome. You needed this to let go of what was holding you down and to face your fears, to make your roots stronger in the soil. You just wish for the day you’ll tell them to come soon, because you suppose that the sooner it will be the easiest too to just let go wholly.

«Do you remember what I texted you when you went away?» he lays his chin on your head, speaks as you bend your arms to place your hands on his shoulders. You nod slightly from under him, fingers dipping into his skin as his words flash in your mind.

«It will always be like that,» he mumbles.

«even when you’re not beside me I’ll always keep my arms empty for you, even when things are fine. I’ll keep them open. Even if we fight and scream and hate each other in the moment»

You kiss his neck, when you blink against him your eyelashes tickle him, Jungkook shivers and he’s not sure if it’s because he’s feeling ticklish or because you do things to him that he can’t explain.

«I love you» you murmur, eyes looking up at him. The rain has wetted you hair a bit, thankfully it isn’t too much and it’s already stopping, but even like this you look like you were painted by the gods themselves to him. He holds his breath, smiles first with his eyes.

«I love you too, love»

When you came in your friends were cheerfully talking about Yoongi and Hyunjoo, when you strolled to the table your eyes met yours to check how you were doing. The smile that Jungkook flashed seemed enough to reassure them, making them go back to their conversation, Namjoon peeking over to double check Jungkook’s features.

He takes his sit, hands resting on his lap before he looks at the dish still full in front of him. The rice has cooled but he’s hungry and so are you, you hear Jimin ask meat to Jin and Yoongi, Hoseok scolds him and Taehyung laughs at his request, Eunji shakes her head. You eat your perilla leaf with the rice and linger in the slightly minty flavour, humming in contentment at the taste. Taehyung’s dish is empty and you feel his gaze pierce right through you as he peeks at Jungkook from time to time, obviously trying to understand his mood and what happened. You wonder if he knows at least a bit, if the others know too. Maybe Jungkook told them when he had feelings for you?

Eunji kicks her foot on your knee, eyes big and full of questions and you just shrug at her, making her click her tongue in annoyance. She must be thinking that you’re back to sleeping with Jungkook. You decide not to care for now, bringing another bite of food in your mouth, you will tell her soon. The evening goes on cheerfully just like most of the times; Jin talks about the restaurant, Hoseok tells you stories about his new class of dancers, Namjoon talks about the book he read recently and how it made him think about what Yoongi and Hyunjoo have.

«Yah, geumanhae» Yoongi moves his hands in front of his face, his cheeks red but he’s smiling.

«Hyung, for real!» you can say that Namjoon is enjoying making him flustered.

«It really made me think»

Hyunjoo smiles, tapping her hand on her boyfriend’s shoulder.

«What are you so shy about?»

«I’m not shy, I’m flustered»

«That’s the same thing!»

«It isn’t!» he raises her eyebrows at her. Namjoon shakes his head. Jimin’s laughter suddenly fills the table, loud and giggly he covers his mouth with his fist as he bends over the table.

«Sorry, but-» he laughs again «I just remembered when Yoongi hyung came home after meeting you for the first time» he points at Hyunjoo, eyes narrowed as he keeps giggling. Jungkook and you break out too, suddenly remembering the scene.

«Aish, hajima!» He whines again and throws his head back, but the scene was just so hilarious that it would be a waste not to share it.

«She has to know this» Jimin shrugs.

«What happened?»

«I was-» he keeps on laughing «I was cooking with Y/n and Jungkook was sitting on the couch. He came in staring at his phone and didn’t even see him»

Jungkook nods: «Actually, I was laying on the couch» he snorts

«Aigoo» she already pictures where this is going.

«He sat on him-»

«He didn’t just sit! He threw himself on the couch!» Jungkook cuts him off, face contracted in a scowl of pain.

«Me and Y/n-» he laughs pointing at you, full teeth on display.

«We just heard them from the kitchen but it was hilarious. Turns out he was staring at your pictures on Instagram» you explain.

«I never thought Yoongi hyung could wait so much,» Jungkook chuckles, hands rubbing his thighs «his weight, aish he isn’t even that big but I was sleeping and suddenly- bang!» the sound effect he makes at the end sends you rolling on the floor with laughter, Yoongi’s shocked sounds still echoing in your ears.

He covers his face with his hands, Hyunjoo laughs beside him as the others do the same. She pulls him to him, the man shakes his head and hides in in her neck, hair falling over to hide him from the embarrassment. You see her whisper something to him but don’t know what she’s saying, Yoongi nods slightly and sits back straight, a big smile on his face.

«After you’re done with making fun of me, we have something to announce» he clears his throat. Hyunjoo stands up from her chair, her hand reaching his shoulder again while she looks down at you all and Yoongi takes his place beside her with a big beam, his hand cupping her belly lovingly. Jungkook’s eyes shot wide open, lips contracted in a “o”. The table fills with silence, everyone is waiting for them to speak and you can feel the excitement bubble up for the news.

«We’re expecting-» she gets cut off by the dumbass beside you.

«A girl! I can feel it» you smack your best friend’s shoulder.

«Shut up» you scold. Hyunjoo laughs, her eyes on you two.

«Yoongi» she calls. The man beside her nods.

«A princess» he scoffs looking at Jungkook, annoyed and amused at the same time.

«It’s a girl!» he literally screams. After that it’s just smiles and happiness, everyone is clapping and the restaurant gets filled with hugs and pats and words of encouragement.

Jungkook grins widely, his teeth exposed and eyebrows raised he claps his hands and gets up to hug his friend, just after Jin. Your beam is contagious and it only makes Jungkook smile more, when you look at him his eyes sparkle. Promises to be the best aunts and uncles for the soon to come baby are shared, Yoongi is already talking about some names that they thought about, Hyunjoo has her eyes wet.

You can’t wait, nobody can’t. Seeing Yoongi get to know Hyunjoo and fall in love was one of the experiences that you feel lucky to have witnessed. You saw him madly in love, watched him when he thought that she wasn’t the type of person to go well with him because of their different personalities, saw them fall in love and fight more than a bunch of times and do it all over again. You remember when he told you he couldn’t live anymore without her, relive the time he cried with you and Jimin cause he was missing her when they had a bad fight and she needed to spend some time on her own, see them happy now after trying for a year. Their story brings tears to your eyes almost every time you think about it, it’s one of those that you would love to read about. You love both of them so much that you couldn’t wish for anything better, cause they already are the best of the best for each other, and all you can do is start to count the days until you’ll meet the result of their incredible love.

Your house is silent and the atmosphere cozy, Jungkook’s fingers are softly stroking your hair on the couch and your mind is full of him and him only. How he talked to you today, the words he said, the safeness and reassurance they brought to your uneasy mind, the love in his eyes and the salty tears on his cheeks. It fills you up until you feel an odd sense of belonging and yearning come together and take every living fibre of your body. You snuggle your nose into the side of his neck, his hand runs down your side to engulfs you into him, back against his chest and one of his legs crossing yours laid on the pillows. Jungkook’s chest is firm under you but incredibly comfortable and you find it so big that you feel the need to turn around and hide your face into it just to feel him closer.

Jungkook lets out a airy breath, the softness of your hair makes his fingertips oversensitive just to take in every single detail of you, your body soft and totally limp on top of him to adore, to squeeze and nuzzle into. He wishes he could freeze this moment and make it last for more than he could ever ask for, remember the sensation of it all and keep it locked inside him for when he feels low-spirited or weary.

«Have to shower» you mumble not really inclined to leave his embrace. Jungkook pecks your head sweetly, nods under you but squeezes you tighter.

«I have to shower too. Do you wanna cuddle afterwards or are you going to bed?» his cute lisp makes you smile.

«Wanna cuddle» you munch on your lips, you wish you could see his face when you add «in the shower»

«Hmm?» his hum is one of those that slip out when he’s excited, slightly high pitched and not sure if he heard your words right.

«Let’s shower» you nod sitting up and turning your head to him. Laid on the pillows, his mouth is open and his eyebrows raised.

«Do you want to?»

«Do- do y-you mean together?» he stutters a bit, totally taken aback. His eyes are sparkling with hope and his enthusiasm is given out when he as soon as he speaks, the cute stutter habit he’s always had when he’s enthusiastic. You nod slightly and Jungkook snaps up with his eyes wide.

«Rea- really?»

«Yes,» you smile amused«if you want to?»

«Oh-aish, yes!» he nods eagerly but stops before he passes the point of not return.

«But- are you sure? We don’t ha-»

«I’m sure,» your eyes stay firm into his «I was scared of this too, I guess»

He gulps down, hands coming back to your sides as he rests his chin on your shoulder.

«Open up to me?» his request is low, as if he doesn’t want it to sound like an obligation but more like an invitation, soft and muffled and honey-coated. When he kisses your cheek lovingly you dive deeper against him, the firmness of his chest behind you and the cage of his arms around you make you feel safe in a way that you could never describe. You feel the most frail when you’re in his arms and the most intrepid you’ve ever been at the same time, it makes your chest swell up with a feeling that is bittersweet and so deep that you feel like drowning.

«I guess- I didn’t want us to get too sexual?» you shake your head.

«I thought that it would end up with us fucking, every time you asked me to shower together. It’s probably just the same as sleeping in the same bed, I guess»

Jungkook munches on his lips, slightly nodding.

«You don’t want that?» he’s not asking because he wants that to happen but to understand you fully.

«I don’t know,» you huff «I didn’t, I think. But now I don’t know, like- I was scared that by being too sexual we- kind of lost sense? And I wanted things to move at their pace, not to rush. We’re living together already and it’s like we kind of skipped the part of the beginning of the relationship, the part where you get to know each other»

«I don’t think we’re in that part,» he lets out, hands rubbing your hips «we’ve been in that part already, I think? We know each other- deeply too»

«I know, but like- know each other in a relationship like the one we have now» you explain. He nods again.

«I got what you mean. But I think it’s- we love each other» he brushes his nose against the column of your neck just to tickle you «if we’re already there, how can we go back to getting to know each other? Like- I know what you mean, but I think that only comes with time? Wether you start from something that’s different from what we already had or from our starting point- I just know that I love you. And by that I mean that I want you in whatever way you’re able to have me and be. I don’t care if I find something that I might find annoying or- I love you. I just- want you»

«I realise it now» you squeeze his cheeks between your thumb and the rest of your fingers, his lips puffy and shutting up. Jungkook frowns, hums annoyed but let’s you do your thing, booping his nose and kissing the soft flesh of his cheek. When you let go, his act of displease shatters in pieces and a big beam replaces it on full display.

«I didn’t before»

His arms squeeze you more, he shuts his lips for a while. The feelings in his chest get so mixed up that it’s hard to discern them, he just wishes that you could read through them all to see how transparent they are in fact.

«I love you» he hums, tone childish. It’s so out of the blue that you find yourself giggling and shaking your head, eyes rolling at the way he squeezes you to him. He bites your shoulder lightly as he nuzzles his nose into your skin.

«And what do you mean by losing sense?» he suddenly stops, voice muffled.

«Losing sense, like- only getting sexual? Doing things just to get there, I don’t want that»

«I don’t want that neither, baby» he breathes and rests his chin on you again, hydrates his lips with his tongue.

«I love when we have sex. I love it, it’s like- some type of magic and it’s so intimate and vulnerable that it makes me overwhelmed every time, but- I don’t want you to think that it has to end like that» he shakes his head.

«If it ends like that it’s good, but it doesn’t have to. I love doing things with you just for the sake of it, cause you- you’re the person I want to share myself with»

Your head rests on his shoulder as you let his words engulf you, tone lovely and calm.

«And it- we don’t lose sense if we feel like being sexual too. It’s beautiful, it means that we’re comfortable with each other that much»

«I know but when I think about it, it scares me» you let out a heavy breath.

«Eunji… do you remember how it ended up with that guy?»

«Eunji, what- what guy? The security guard?» he frowns totally out of place. You smack him on his thigh lightly, a scoff coming out of your lips.

«No, Koo. Hyun?»

«Hyun?» his mind is totally blank.

«Hyun, the lawyer. The guy that she was friend with for a little and-»

«Oh! Yes, I remember him» he nods eagerly.

«What does it have to do with us?»

«I don’t know, but- when I talked to her about us and we weren’t together yet she remembered me of what happened with him. I guess that thought blocked me too»

«Eunji knows?» he turns his face, eyes big and lips open.

«She doesn’t, she knows that we used to sleep together though»

He scrunches his nose, goes back to caress your hair.

«What happened with him was- it’s not us. They didn’t have anything. We- we love each other. We’ve been friends for a long time, we saw each other in every way» he puffs out a breath.

«And even if there are times when we’ll get too sexual, that doesn’t mean that we’re just looking for sex. There’s more, there’s trust, there’s-» he stops his rant because you peck his nose «stop that, I’m trying to be serious»

«Oh, sorry» you face in front of you and Jungkook scoffs, giving up just to peck your cheek.

«Baby, for real» he whispers.

«I think it’s normal that in a relationship there are times or periods when there is a high sex drive but that doesn’t mean that we’re looking just for sex or love each other any less»

«I know,» you nod «I’m just scared to get too caught up into it and lose what I have around me- like, lose you»

«It won’t happen,» he clicks his tongue «it won’t cause even if we get too caught up with it, it’s not- just sex» he digs his chin deeper into your shoulder.

«It’s more, I’m not fucking you just because you’re sexy or I find you attractive- it’s a whole different thing. It’s-» his fingers turn your face to make your eyes meet him.

«I’m making love to you. Even if we fuck each others brains out or have sex in Taehyung’s bathroom, there’s always more. There are always emotions and feelings and how much I love you. Every time, every single time. Even- if it’s not romantic at all and it’s just rough and needy, I- love you»

«And to know that you could trust me that much- to make me have that part of you, to allow me to live you in that way too makes me feel so fucking good and happy. How- how could that make us senseless or pointless? It’s love, I’m always making love to you»

«Fuck, stop. You’re gonna make me cry» you don’t think you can hold his words for much longer. Hearing him say things like this makes your brain melt and your insides twist with warmth and safeness and you wish you could just hide from the world and cry your eyes out for how much and how deeply you love him.

He huffs a giggle, kisses your nose, stares at your wet eyes. Jungkook wants to give you everything you never had, everything he can give and more than both you and him could ever imagine. He wants to shower you with all the love he has inside him and with every little spark of it that colors the world. If he could take the light from the sun just to add a drop of love and appreciation to your world, he would do it right the fuck now. You make him want to lose himself and never find it again, live in the melody of your laughter and only see the sight of your smile. If his senses could be commanded he’d feel only when his fingers trace your curves and every part of you, from head to toe, he’d smell only your perfume and taste only your kisses and your salty tears, hear only your laughter and your voice when you sing and see only your eyes and how your shoulders swell when you laugh.

«I’m- I’m here for whatever you’re willing to give and I’ll wait for the things that you don’t feel comfortable with yet» he whispers.

You smile, and fuck, the love he has for you. An incredible amount that he never thought was possible, so much that it makes him crazy and desperate to give it in every way possible. His lips peck yours softly, so lovingly and so feather-like that he feels you shiver against him, back pressed into his chest and his arms wrapped so tight that a world outside doesn’t exist anymore. His lips are soft and they make you addicted with the feelings they bring, your eyes stay shut even when you part. He keeps you close and rests his forehead on yours, smiles at your expression as lost as his.

«I love you,» his thumb strokes your cheek «so freaking much I can’t put it into words»

«I know,» you push yourself more into his hand «it’s the same for me. I just- love you»

When you open your eyes, you’re not sure where the hell you’ve been for all your life. Because to lose this sight- for god’s sake, it’s almost laughable how anyone wouldn’t stop to just stare at him. Yours, he’s yours and he’s always been and for all this time, all these worries and all your insecurities- they can’t outbalance this. Nothing can, nothing when he makes you feel this way, this loved and cherished.

«Let’s shower,» you puff out «let’s shower»

As if it wasn’t clear enough for him the first time. Jungkook nods and his lips peck you once more, when he looks in your eyes to check if you’re certain about what you’re doing they don’t shift, don’t budge for a nanosecond. They stay firm, staring into his pupils and spurring him on more to leave the couch and take care of you and show you how deep his love is. And fuck, it’s so deep that there’s no end to him anymore.

There’s no end to the affection his arms carry with your body between them, holding you close to him even when he’s standing and you’re smacking his ass lightly and making him giggle, no such depth was ever measured in the world. The intimacy between your souls could never be described, it’s so emotional and compelling that you both feel it in your bones, in every nerve, every fibre of your bodies. You’re addicted to it, in love with it and with him with every living piece of you.

You stroll to the bathroom, Jungkook engulfs you in his arms, he stomps his feet against the floor making the both of you stumble twice, giggles filling the air as you enter the room. He opens the water of his shower, checks the temperature before taking off his clothes and laying them on the counter beside the sink, eyes meeting yours when he sees you standing still and eyeing him. Totally naked, you can’t tear you eyes off of him. It’s like his body was painted by Botticelli, Da Vinci maybe. Lines perfect, every ridge and curve sweet but incredibly excruciating, agonisingly beautiful so. Skin yellowish and fair, lips reddish and full, long slender fingers beckoning you to him to hold you close, closer. Close is never enough with you. His cock is half hard but Jungkook doesn’t want to do anything about it, he just wants to feel you like this, have you in this way, linger in the trust you have in him.

You let him hug you, let him kiss you drunk.

Your fingers on his skin feel so good that he doesn’t think he will ever get used to them, they stroke his back as his hands reach the hem of your dress to help you out of it.

«I love you so much» he lays a smooch on your cheek.

«We say it so much» you mumble as you hide your face in his neck. He kisses your shoulder, lets his hand dance on your back in lovingly motions.

«Cause we love so much» he breathes.

His words leave you spinning, your mind is empty but your heart is full and swollen, your eyes travel back on his face to flash a smile at him.

«Undress me» you nod.

He beams devilishly, «Uh? We’re getting confident»

«Oh, shut up,» you shake your head «gonna do it myself-»

«No, no. Let me» he holds you still. His fingers lower back to the edge of your dress, as he grabs the cloth to make it slide on your skin he keeps his sight on your face and feels his lungs losing air when your cheeks color of a faint shade of red, the dress halfway over your hips. His soft lips caress your nose, your forehead and a second later he slides the material off of your arms in the air and over your head- no, he leaves it on your face.

«Jungkook!» your irritated tone makes him erupt in a laugh and finally he takes it off. Your lips are contracted in a pout, a scowl on your face.

«You’re so annoying» you whine.

«I like annoying you,» he pulls you closer to him «you’re cute when you pout»

«I’m always cute» you nod jokingly.

«Aish, too much is too much,» he shakes his head, his right hand smacking your asscheek lightly «should I shut you up?»

«That’s rude» your eyes widen.

«Why? With kisses?» he clicks his tongue.

«Kisses? Oh-»

«You thought I meant-» he stops to laugh, high pitched and melodious «rude?»

«The way you said it was rude, not the- wait, don’t laugh! So annoying, I hate you»

«Aish, such a crybaby» he fondles you into his arms, his nose nuzzles into the crook of your neck and you let the blood that rushed to your cheeks get back to its usual path by hiding your face on his chest.

«It’s not the right moment for that,» he breathes «now I just want to take care of you and shower you with kisses»

«Your cock is hard» you hum sternly, making him scoff.

«Let it be,» he puffs out «we don’t have to do anything about it. I just wanna have you like this,» he kisses your shoulder blade «close and intimate»

His fingers tickle your thighs, they slide perfectly over the cloth of your stockings and he hums on your skin when he hooks his fingers over the band, parting enough to take them off. When he’s done, you finally build up the courage to look down, and god- you wish you didn’t. He’s on his knees, starry night eyes looking up at you, deep and love drunk, totally lost. He look ethereal and so fucking pretty that your knees buckle and you have to close your eyes for a second, only to regain what’s left of yourself.

Jungkook’s fingers travel all the way up from your ankles to your calves, to your knees and your thighs, until they reach your hips and he cups them softly. He kisses under your belly button, makes you look back down at him and a second later he’s lowering your panties and you feel so exposed that you want to cover your eyes. It’s stupid, you know it well but to have him like this, looking at you with his nose almost against your pelvis and his eyes drawing stars in your sky, it’s different than having him in bed. You were making love all the times you were naked in front of each other, and even though you were so exposed that you felt your soul burn with his touch, having him like this hits in a different way, the same intensity, the same love for each other, the same feeling in your chests but just with a different meaning to it.

You lift your feet one at a time to help him get the garment fully off, balancing on one leg and steading yourself with your hand on his shoulder, but when he takes them off he doesn’t get up. You see his cock twitch but his eyes never leave yours, not even when he gets closer and lays the sweetest and consuming kiss on your mound, so chaste but loving and addicting that your heart stops beating. He pushes on the ball of his feet and stands up to tower again over you, a little smile takes over his features and his eyes narrow a little, drunk by the feeling of having you like this.

Your hands move on their own, grabbing his fingers and guiding them behind your back. Jungkook smiles more, pecks your neck and your cheek, the tip of your nose and your shoulder as he fumbles with the clasp of your bra, pushes the straps down your shoulders and lets the garment slide off when he parts from you, a shiver of coldness making his way on your skin at the loss of the warmth that his body provided. He can’t wrap his head around you, how beautiful you are. Every inch of skin makes his fingers itch because he’s just that desperate to feel you, even wantonly.

«You’re breathtaking» his words comes out frail, totally vulnerable and overwhelmed.

«I love you,» he shakes his head, feeling dumb for not being able to find a word that represents his feelings more «I love having this part of you- so exposed, just for me» his shoulders fall, and it seems to you that he’s almost surrendering to the hold you have on him; in fact, he is.

«I promise you, baby, there’s always more. It’s not just when we’re having sex, it’s whatever we do. Whatever I do, there’s always more. You’re- you’re love. You’re the meaning of love- for me. Everything I do, even when I annoy you or just make dinner for you or even when we fight or- it’s because I love you so much it fucking overwhelms me. Whatever we do together, don’t ever think that it’s for the sake of it cause- fuck, I love you all the time, everything I do» he breathes.

The distance between you doesn’t get along to the feeling of warmth you’re craving for, especially when he’s opening himself so much that his chest is looking for air and his voice is full of tenderness. You take a step closer and hold him in your embrace, Jungkook breaths out heavily, his hair tickle your skin.

«So don’t ever think that it’s just about being sexual. It’s not- it’s not like that at all. Every time you- every time you look at me, I could combust just by that. Like this too, having you like this now too makes me feel like I’m- don’t know, can’t even explain it» his voice gets more feeble as he speaks until all there’s left is his whisper in your ears and the thumbing sound of your heart echoing in the bathroom.

Jungkook is- fucking hell, he’s your world. The colours you perceive, the air you breathe, the softness of your sheets, the warmth of the fire in full winter, your favorite dish, the feeling you get when a long and tiring day is finally over. He’s everything and anything all at once and it makes you want to let go of yourself and find yourself at the same time, love deeper than what you could’ve ever imagined.

«I won’t,» you hug him tightly «I won’t do it anymore. Thank you, for- loving me as much as I love you»

Your words have a strange hold on him, he smiles so fucking big but his eyes tingle and he has to bite down on his lips to keep himself rational, cause fuck- he’s still not used to this either. To finally feel you his, under his fingers, in his hold, to have your heart. All the love he had to held back sometimes slaps him in the face and when he faces the reality now it just makes him dizzy.

«Don’t- thank me for that,» he nuzzles his face into you more «I don’t think I could ever stop»

You feel something wet on your skin, just slightly. Jungkook sniffles, and then you get it. Your hands fumble with his hair as you kiss his skin, your fingertips dig into his back.

«Did I- did I make you-»

«No,-» he gulps down, raises his head to look at your eyes «I’m- just- fuck, I’m sorry I cry a lot lately» he scoffs to himself.

«No! No baby, just- let it out» you peck his nose. He scrunches it cutely, takes in a staggered breath.

«It’s nothing, I just- sometimes it still doesn’t feel real. To hear you say that- made me emotional, I guess»

You smile at him. It’s sweet and home-like and a second later you’re squeezing him tighter to you and Jungkook decides to let go. He lays his chin back on your shoulder, closes his eyes, lets your motions lull him and your touch relax him. His cock is tight between you and with your movements you make it a little uncomfortable for him not to focus on the way it throbs and perceives every slight touch as pleasure, but he just lets it be. Having you close like this, so intimately and intoxicatingly bare for him makes him pine to find new ways of loving you, new ways of worshipping every invisible part of you, even the littles ones that no one else ever noticed, not even yourself.

«Are we going in?» you puff out on his skin. He nods his head but doesn’t part yet, strokes your hair just once more.

«I wanna lather you all up» he giggles airily and backs away, beckons you with his head to walk in the shower. Your cheeks are flushed when you take a step towards it with his eyes on you and your body, totally love drunk. He doesn’t look at you with mischief, with something that screams for more though, Jungkook just feels grateful to have this part of you. And when he comes in too you feel your heart beat louder because when you look up at him you see it truly, without even having to try; he loves and burns and drowns and breathes just to do it all over again, with you taking over every part of him. It makes you defenceless, more than you could ever handle. It makes you give up, let your hands fall and just open up to him in every way possible cause the safeness you feel with him, in this little space, right against each other, totally exposed and vulnerable, couldn’t reach you even if you were covered and tucked in the warmest blanket.

You don’t even realise you’re drenched under the water until his hair stick to his face and he pushes them back to regain his sight, totally entranced when he hugs you under the jet. It’s warm, cozy and it feels like the sweetest place in the world when his fingers dig slightly into your skin and he nuzzles against you. He does it a lot, a habit that he doesn’t think he could ever get tired of. It makes him feel closer even if it’s just for a second, it’s intimate and he likes the feeling of you so much that not doing it almost feels like squandering.

«Thank you» it’s muffled by the sound of the water and his lips on your skin but it’s enough to reach your ears.

«For what?» you hug him back. Jungkook hums lightly.

«For letting me have this part of you,» he whispers «for trusting me this much»

«You know you’re the person I probably trust the most»

«I know,» his lips lay a mushy kiss on your shoulder «thank you»

You smile and try to move slightly but with his body towering over yours it’s kind of mocking how you don’t manage to move of an inch.

«Soap,» you call out «come to me!»

And Jungkook is back with his giggles, crystal clear even under the water dropping down and filling up the space.

«What? Why are you like this?» he snickers.

«You won’t make me move!» you laugh.

«I told you I’ll do it,» he clicks his tongue, still giggly «if you call it do you think it’ll come over?»

«Maybe?» you snort «Who knows?»

«Aish, jinjja» he shakes his head incredulous, his nose scrunching when he parts to look at you.

«Don’t scrunch your nose at me» you point your finger on his chest.

«What- why?»

«Too cute,» your fingertip taps on his pec for twice or thrice «can’t stay focused»

«Too bad that now I know it?» he beams, pushes a strand of your hair away from your face.

«Aish- don’t use it against me,» you warn «are you gonna lather me or not?»

«Did I told you you’re annoying today?» he scrunches his nose, once more.

«You did,» you nod «I’m used to it»

«Unbelievable» his hand lays with a snack on your asscheek.

«Yah, and you say I’m the one who always slaps you»

«I still didn’t get the chance to kiss it» he munches on his lips, obviously teasing you with the conversation you had while making love for the first time.

«First you should focus on the bodywash»

He scoffs, gets the bottle from the shelf behind you.

«Okay, now do I get to kiss it?»

«Jungkook!» you literally shriek and he laughs so loud that it becomes all you can hear. You watch his eyes narrow and his head fall back, his shoulders raise and fall and all you want to do is make your annoying best friend shut up and stop being so pestiferous with his teasing but you end up laughing too. Jungkook holds you against him and god, you don’t want to live another life if it doesn’t include this too.

«I’ll stop-» he laughs «I’m just teasing you»

«I know,» you nod «you do it a lot»

He gains back his composure, closes the jet and squashes the bottle to get the right amount of soap on his hand, putting it down just behind you afterwards. He rubs his hands together a bit, just enough to get some lather. He kneels down. Looks up at you. Smiles. His hands grace over your left thigh, just above your knee.

«Does it bother you?» he coos. You take a deep breath to gather your mental strength.

«Not really»

«It comes so naturally with you,» he smiles, his hands start to caress your skin with just the right amount of pressure as he rubs the soap in «we’ve always been like this»

«You more than me,» you shrug «it’s normal»

«It is,» he kisses your hip and you feel like you’re going to die for how much you love him «it’s my love language, I guess»

«I think it’s just your language» you scoff. Your hand moves fast and a second later he’s squeezing his eyes and hissing in surprise at your mischief actions, soaked under the jet while you giggle. You close it just a second later, glancing at the way he bites on his lips.

«Its yours too, apparently» he squeezes your thigh, lowers his hands on your calf.

«Sometimes I wonder if it’s my fault that you’re like this»

«Like this what?» you help yourself on his shoulder, Jungkook beams at you lovingly but his teasing goes on.

«So annoying» he moves on on lathering your foot, the tickly feeling of his fingers makes you wince.

«Oh, yes» you nod.

«I had to survive one way or the other»

«Kiss?» he puckers his lips.

«Hhm?»

«Kiss, give me a kiss?» he coos all smiley. It makes you scoff, how he can move from one thing to another so quickly. Jungkook lets go of your leg as he’s done with his ministrations and you bend to lower yourself to him, his lips still wrinkled and waiting. It’s wet and just a peck but it makes you see the stars and the ocean all at once, the closeness of it.

He lathers your other thigh, your knee, your calf, your foot, gets back up to tell you how pretty and beautiful you are, teases you some more. And then he‘s kneeling again and squashing the bottle of the intimate soap, you didn’t even notice him grabbing it from the shelf behind you, with his eyes focused on the task as he rubs his hands together.

He kisses your hips one at a time, chaste and full affection, his eyes meet yours and when he smiles at you, you know he means something more: «I got you» he blows.

His arm comes around you, his hand on the lower part of your back and the other one cups your pelvis, soft fingers laying just slightly on your lips. You hold your breath as Jungkook lets his fingers slide against you, they part your lips, move forwards and backwards to soap you up properly, rubbing against your most intimate part with such care and such platonically innocence that you feel your soul dance and smile. You feel loved all over, all inside. And when you smile back at him, gosh, it could sound stupid but he thinks this is one of the moments he’ll live again when he sleeps. When he dreams about you, heart pounding and exploding even with his eyes closed and his light snores breaking the silence of the night.

«You’re so pretty» the fingers on your back tap against your skin, his cheeks are full and his eyes starry. He lays a kiss on your mound just like he did before outside of the shower, all smiley and dovey and you want to squeeze him so hard until he bursts out in nothing but pink stars and dreamy clouds.

«Come back up here» you pat his shoulder. Jungkook nods, but only does so in his own way. He kisses slightly upper above your mound, upper again, again and again and more upwards until he passes your navel and still keeps going, he lays a path that divides you in two parts, split open all the way to the valley between your breasts and then up to the meeting point of your clavicles, to your throat and your chin. It’s intoxicating, you feel totally inebriated.

Your lips were made for him to kiss them, sure as hell they were. So soft, pillowy, consuming, breathtakingly so. It makes him desperate, he can’t help it, helpless and so fucking in love every second more.

«You make me-» you take in a deep breath before he pecks your lips «feel like…»

«Like what?» he huffs against them, nuzzling his nose to yours.

«Don’t know. Like giving up» you puff. Jungkook snorts, scrunching his nose.

«Giving up?» he hums.

«To… everything,» it’s hard to put it into words «to your… love. Feel so overwhelmed everytime»

«If you do that…» he doesn’t finish his sentence, air running out with you so close.

«If I do that…» you smile. Jungkook breathes in through his mouth.

«I’d look after you,» he pecks your lower lip «please, give up» his tone is low, a little whiny, floaty.

«Just for once,» his hand cups your cheek, his thumb moves upwards and downwards with the most saccharine motions «I love you so much»

«I’m doing it already,» you scoff to yourself «I do it every time. I forged up all of that because I don’t have defences around you. I’m always giving up, you’re too-» you gag on your air silently, shaking your head and trying to regain what’s left of you «inebriating»

«Let it consume you then,» he kisses your forehead «cause I can’t stop. Can’t fucking stop, it’s too much. I love you too much, I want you to feel it,» he pushes you closer to him until his chest is tight against you and his eyes still fixed into yours «cause I feel it from you. And it takes over me. You love me so good, in every possible way»

He reaches your hand and his slender fingers interlock with yours to guide your palm on his chest, just a few inches on the left from the middle. He leaves your hold just to push your palm on his skin; his heart beats under you, loud but melodious, steady and proud.

«That’s what you do to me,» he keeps his touch on your hand, fingers stroking your wrist «that’s what you’ve been doing for all these years. Not a second- there was not a second that it didn’t beat for you»

Your world spins. Even as he kisses the crown of your head sweetly and hugs you for a minute more, even when he goes back to lather the rest of you up, your hair, your word spins. You want him forever. You want him in every way, every day. You want him after a long day and on a relaxing one, on a beach somewhere lost in the world and welcoming you home, you just- can’t control it. It’s so powerful and so deep and so incredibly real and intimate that you feel grounded to earth but high flying in the sky. This is what love is. Love is Jungkook.

He opens the jet again after lathering himself up, his hair are covered in bubbles and his cheeks full make him look like the happiest he’s ever been, eyes glittering with shining stars. He lets his hands caress you to help the water wash away the soap, lays love over every part of your body with the touch of his palm and his fingertips, kisses you when you smile and it’s too much to control himself, nuzzles his nose on you, the water spraying over your bodies and his arms caging you in. For the first time, you feel it more real, even more than before; how somewhere in a different universe you’re holding each other in the same way, older and with even more memories than what you have now. Wrinkles on his skin and hair grey but your love is still the same, still consuming and taking over the both of you.

«Koo» you hide in his neck.

«Love» he hums. He feels your smile on his skin.

«I want…» you curl your fingers to stroke his hips. Jungkook levels your sight with his, two of his fingers push your chin up.

«I know that we said- this isn’t heading to anything else but… I want you to make love to me»

«Now?»

«Now,» you nod «but…»

«What?» his hand strokes your back, your cheeks flushed make him hug you tighter to show you how comfortable you can be with him.

«Rough,» you scoff at yourself, making him giggle and raise his palm to the back of your head to stroke your nape «fuck this, I’m not good with words»

«You’re doing amazing, sweetie» he shakes his head amused «talk to me?»

You shoulders raise, chest swells as you breath in: «I want you to… the stuff you said before, do that»

Jungkook laughs at your ways, keeps your figure safe in the cage of his arms as he scrunches his nose.

«You want me to fuck you?»

«Don’t laugh» you scold.

«I’m sorry,» he smiles «it’s just- you’re so endearing when you’re shy»

«Koo» you whine. He kisses your neck, nods.

«You want that?» he asks, his attention totally on your face. He takes in your expression, sees universes in your eyes.

«Yes,» you pause «show me that there’s more even though I know it already»

Clear and straight to the point. Fuck, he may explode from a second to another.

«Rough?» he breathes. Your heart is pounding in your ears so much that the thrill makes your knees feel like jelly.

«Rough,» you repeat «however you want it. I- want to just…» your sentence ends in silence, closing your eyes to the caresses of his fingers.

«Are you sure?»

«I am»

«Turn around,» he kisses your lips with tenderness but his tone is firm and your body feels so light you don’t even feel it as you do as he asks «bend down a little and put your hands against the wall»

Shit. It’s all you can think about as your chest lays on the marble. The coldness of the material makes you shiver as your hands follow, taking half a step backwards to bend for him. Jungkook stays still, totally entranced by you. Fuck, you make him crazy. Totally whipped. His head is whirling, his eyes are lost on the side view of your face and how beautiful you are with your skin glowing under the light of the bathroom, drops of water running down every inch of your body, the curve of your hips, the tenderness of your skin. God’s sake, you’re the end of him.

«Koo» you call. He shakes his head, takes a step forward.

«Sorry, got a little distracted» he hums against your ear, kissing your earlobe.

«You’re so beautiful» his breath hits your neck and the air makes you shiver, he feels you moving just the slightest, your face disconnecting from the wall.

«What are you going to do?» your tone makes him smile, curious but frail.

His lips reach the side of your neck and they disclose a wet kiss and then another one, one more. His chest adheres to your back, the underside of his cock brushing against your asscheek makes you writhe in your spot, he��s been so hard for so long and feeling him like this makes you hold your breath, but Jungkook doesn’t lose his calm. He keeps his sight on your face, his focus on you. His arms come around you, hands cupping your stomach and fingers opening to feel your skin, they stroke and caress you just right, his touch his light but secure and it is rewarded by you squirms and shivers, he makes you want to beg for more. He travels from your navel to between your breasts, then down again. One of his hands steadies on your left hip, the digits of his other one tickle you until he stops on your mound and your breath gets cut.

«Keep your hands on the wall» he whispers. You don’t even have time to realise what he’s saying because his fingers lower and they slide between your lips and you’re laying your head forward against the wall just at his touch.

«I want you to let go,» he kisses your skin, licks a patch of it from just right under your head to your shoulder «and just feel good»

His index finds your core, already wet for him. His cock twitches on you, you feel it move against your back as he gathers your wetness and moves on your clit, feather-like touch that makes you eager and yearn.

«Can you do that for me?» he huffs.

Your trembling breath is his answer. His finger moves on the pearl and your legs instantly squeeze around his hand at the sudden pleasure brought, his petals gifting sweet pecks on your shoulder. They make you relax your muscles and open your thighs again, his movement slow and just where you like it the most.

It lasts just for a bunch of seconds though, the air feels cold again when he parts and you close your eyes when you catch him kneeling down on the floor of the shower.

«Oh, fuck» you hiss in advance.

«You’re- I’m gonna die» your words make him laugh.

«Please don’t,» he giggles looking up at you, hands grasping the back of your thighs «just tell me if it’s too much?»

«Too much what?»

«Anything» he kisses the lower part of your back, eyes glued to your face. His nose brushes against your skin as he lowers himself and his hands move upwards, they burn your skin even when it’s still wet, he parts your asscheeks for his sight only.

Shit, Jungkook is about to lose his mind. Too pretty.

«Bend forwards just a little more for me?» he coos. When you do as he says, he’s able to get a better view of your pussy too and for god’s sake, he’s salivating just like she is. So wet, so freaking wet he wants to bury himself between your thighs and never face the world again.

«Fuck, baby. Did I do that?» he hisses through his teeth, lowering his hand to part your lips better with his fingers.

«Do I make you this wet?»

«Kook…» you let out a deep breath, on the edge of your calm.

«Tell me» he moves his finger on your clit, looking back up at you. The way your mouth opens makes him move it again in the same manner, your eyebrows furrowing.

«Tell me» he echoes. You lay your forehead against the marble.

«You do,» you whine «you make it so fucking wet, Jungkook»

«Fuck, I love when you talk to me»

You think you’re already on the edge because fucking freaking hell, his tongue suddenly pokes your clit and your legs shake and shit- it feels incredible. He moves his head to accompany his motions, mouth open as he flicks the muscles on your clit, the perfect pressure to make you see stars. He moans against you, face buried in your pussy and his nose poking at your entrance, hands splayed on the underside of your asscheeks to help himself keeping you open for him.

«My god- Jungkook»

«You like it?» he groans against your core, gathering your wetness on his tongue. It’s so sweet, so addicting.

«Fuck, yes» you nod.

«I love it,» he moves back on your clit, moans on it with his mouth full of your juices, too in love with your little pearl and how good it can make you feel «it’s perfect»

And he’s back at licking it again with the tip of his tongue, focused on the spot you like the most and then from time to time putting pressure with more of the muscle, setting on fire every nerve of the zone. You hold your breath, your chest is swelling in pleasure and your legs are already trembling.

«Wanna do something» his lips brush on your pussy as he speaks, he doesn’t even dare to part from it.

«What?» you don’t know if you can take whatever it is that it’s running through his mind.

«Not yet,» he kisses your clit, making you whine for him «just relax for now»

«Shit, how am I supposed to- fucking hell, Jungkook» you moan out loud, his tongue sliding through your entrance feels so good. So wet and soft but firm, straight and pointed to push all your buttons right.

«I love you» he can’t help himself. After all, he guesses that this is what you wanted him to do, show you how much he loves you even while he has his tongue deep inside your pussy.

«Love your pussy too, so much baby» he parts a little to take a look at the mess he’s reduced you to, dripping wet all over and glistening. A finger strokes your clit as he gets back to your hole, tongue sliding inside you so easily, he bobs his head up and down to fuck it inside you, his pace getting faster. You just keep your eyes shut, feeling the way his fingers dig into your flesh and his breath hits your skin every time he moves, the pleasure consuming.

«Kook, I think I’m- going to cum» it’s already approaching you, it’s been since the moment his tongue poked at your clit and you don’t know how much you will be able to hold yourself back. Your body feels oversensitive, every touch and lick makes your nerves jump.

«You can,» he breathes against you, your legs tightening «wanna make you cum again afterwards»

Fuck, it’s too much. His words are too much, so fucking hot.

«Oh- god» you whine and Jungkook loves it. He loves it so much, he loves you so much. To have you like this makes him yearn for more and more, he wants it all. He wants you to give yourself to him and let him take care of you in the sweetest and sexiest way possible, fuck you rough and tell you how much he loves you at the same time, make love to you in every possible way.

«You don’t know- shit, I don’t think you know the hold you have on me» he groans, speaks as he thrusts inside you, his words are muffled as the sound of your wetness takes over the bathroom. His finger works on your clit and you know that you’re too close to resist more.

«Tell me» you don’t even know what it is that makes you speak, your mouth moves on its own. Jungkook circles his tongue inside you, he curls it just a bit more and you squeeze your eyes as his moan in your pussy echoes in the bathroom. Fuck, you love it so much, so freaking much.

He slides the muscle out while sucking at the entrance of your hole, drinking your juices and growling against you in the sexiest way possible. Two of his fingers enter you, filling you up and replacing his tongue they fuck you so good that you don’t even know how to breathe anymore.

«You make me desperate,» he hisses, rubbing his digit on your clit and adding a bit more pressure «in every way possible. Want you every fucking day, every second cause I’m addicted. Sexually or not, baby»

«Koo, I…»

«I know,» he kisses your skin «cum for me»

«No- I- I love you» your voice breaks, too weary. Jungkook’s heart throbs in his chest, he wishes he could see your features now but to make you turn now would be too mischievous, so he just focuses on making you cum. His lips kiss your back, he raises himself up while he still moves inside you, leaving a path of wet kisses on every inch of skin he manages to reach.

«I love you too, angel»

He nuzzles his nose on your back, the gesture totally far away from his next words: «Soak my fingers, wanna lick your juices»

Fuck, the room spins, you feel like levitating. Your high hits you so hard that you don’t feel your legs anymore, they tremble and you shiver and Jungkook parts his finger from your clit to wrap his arm around your front, digits digging in your flesh to keep you balanced as he still fucks into you to prolong your orgasm. He kisses your back, breathes you in, loves you more than a second ago if it’s even possible.

The feelings in your chest are long lasting, more than your climax. They fill you up even more when you come down and you notice his uneven breath against you as he holds you steady, safe from anything else that isn’t him. Jungkook kisses your skin endlessly, writes love with his lips until you’re even more drenched than you were under the jet, so much that you feel it deep inside every single bone of your body.

«Come here» he coos, looking up at you even when you still have your head against the marble. You breathe in, turn around to face him. Knees still on the floor, hair wet and lips glistening with your juices, a bit of them on his nose, eyes sweet and starry just like always. You want to laugh because how the hell are you supposed to sit on the floor of the shower when there’s him already, but the way he’s looking at you makes it hard to breathe and a second later you’re kneeling down and trying your best to sit, however his hand on your hips pushes you slightly to make you turn again. Jungkook opens his legs and bends them at your sides to save just a bit more space, you sit in front of him and he guides your back on his chest. His cock pushes against your skin but the touch of his fingers on your cheek make your attention shift to his face, close and so beautiful it looks unreal.

His lips connect with yours, soft and pillowy, and your mind fills up with a pinkish haze that seems to escape just to surround you with intimacy and coziness, his arm coming around you to feel just a bit more of your skin.

«What was it that you wanted to do?» you mumble against him, keeping your face turned to face him. Jungkook clicks his tongue, smiling with mischief.

«Later,» he pecks you again «if you want to»

«I want to,» you huff faking annoyance «I told you to fuck me but-»

«Aish, so greedy. Can’t I spoil you a little?» he shakes his head, bringing the fingers of the arm that’s wrapped around you in front of his face. They’re still wet with your juices, you expect him to lick them but what he does makes your breath stop and your pussy starts throbbing again. They stroke your lips and his eyes stay focused on his motions as he makes them glisten like a lipgloss, a cheeky smile taking over his features when he notices the way you’re looking at him.

«Wanna taste them from your lips» he murmurs. You let out a staggered breath, totally lost in him and the way he makes your mind go blank. Jungkook kisses you again, pecks your lips more than once, licks the bottom one to get every drop of your sweetness. You hate him for being like this because your pussy is soaked again and you don’t even know why the hell you find it so hot but it’s just- Jungkook. And fuck, he makes you weak.

«I think I want to find out that thing» you breathe when he parts, his giggles resonate in the room as he cages you with his other arm too, stroking your stomach as you let your head fall on his shoulder.

«Please?»

He taps his fingers on your navel, kissing your cheek.

«Aish, so cute,» he giggles happily «you’re exactly my type, you know that?»

«What does that even mean?» you laugh at his childish tone, shaking your head as you watch him munch on his lips.

«You have a type?»

«What? You! You’re-» he points his forefinger on your chest «you are»

«Why?» you coo teasingly, grabbing his finger in your hold and pushing his other arm down at your side. Jungkook watches you get up, turning around to look down at him. The view makes him gulp, his heart flutters at your beauty when you reach your hand out to him to make him stand. He takes it just for the sake of holding it, getting up on his own by pushing on the ball of his feet and his hand on the floor. When he towers over you his eyes are shining again and his bunny teeth on display as he beams brightly.

«Cause I love you,» he murmurs «you-» he snorts through his mouth, pushing the air out and making a nasal noise just like you would do when describing the sound of something exploding «ah, forget it»

You’re coming out of the shower, pushing the door open and he stands there totally entranced. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was probably just enjoying the view. But Jungkook is… totally lost. When you face him you know it well, that look in his eyes.

«I want to know» you push your words, getting closer to where he stands but without going in again.

«I don’t have a type, I guess» he scrunches his nose, it makes you want to laugh, totally meaningless «cause you’re- you are the type. Like- aish, what am I even saying?»

Your laughter fills up his ears and your arms wrap around his torso, you let your head fall on his chest. His fingers come to stroke your hair, eyes half lidded as he giggles in that sweet way that makes your stomach twist and turn.

«I’m the type» you laugh.

«Don’t make fun of me, it’s just- you know what I mean. It’s not about just one thing, it’s like- everything»

«Okay, baby,» you shake your head «now come out»

You grab two towels each, wrapping yourself up and your hair too, Jungkook does the same with his towel but just rubs his hair with the other one.

«Do you remember when we went to Disneyland?» he suddenly stops his motions, leaving the wet cloth on the sink as you wear your slippers. You nod at him through the reflection of the mirror, Jungkook clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

«Wanna go again»

«So suddenly?» you smile.

He nods: «Can we go another time?»

«Next weekend?» you raise your eyebrows at him, thrilled by the thought. Jungkook’s mouth opens wide, stuck in place as he watches you point at his slippers.

«What- next weekend?» he echoes, the shadow of a smile taking over his feature as he does as he’s told. You grab his hand and walk towards the door.

«Hhm, we could? If you want to»

Disneyland sounds beautiful, indeed. You visited three years ago, spent three days laughing like two idiots and going on rollercoasters. You guess it couldn’t hurt at all to visit again. Jungkook feels drunk from the feeling already, having you all to himself for a weekend in a way that he never thought was possible years ago.

«Let’s go next weekend»

He stops in place, eyes wide and lips open.

«Really?»

«Why not?» you shrug.

«Are we getting the tickets now?»

«We’re really going?» he’s beaming so bright that the sun seems like a distant glow in comparison.

«Yes, we’re going. We could leave on Friday night?» you nod.

«Why- you’re sure? I was afraid to ask, I thought you’d say no» he’s totally surprised. Your hand pulls him as you start walking again towards his bedroom, Jungkook watches your eyebrows raise in question when you end your walk in front of his bed.

«Why?»

«I- thought you wouldn’t feel comfortable with it yet- since-»

«I told you,» you smile sweetly at him «I don’t want to restrain myself anymore. There’s no point in it, we know what we have, it’s not too soon cause I already-» you scoff, «I love you. And… I want to go»

His expression makes your heart pound louder. Cheeks full, dark doe, big eyes glittery with thrill and love, pinkish lips open in a smile and bunny teeth showing, totally thrilled.

«Woah, this-» he bounces a little in place, totally excited «we need to get the tickets»

«You wanna buy them now?» you giggle at his cuteness, pecking his cheek. Jungkook shakes his head, wraps his arms around you.

«Do you want to buy them now?» he gives you smooches on your forehead. You let one of your hands wrap around his neck and the other one lock around him, just under his shoulder your fingers tickle his skin as you look up at him.

«Later,» your hum has mischief in it «now I want what I asked for earlier»

«What was it?» god, how he likes to tease you, and the way he licks his lips with a smirk that only makes you churn.

«You know what it was» you huff. Jungkook shakes his head slowly.

«Say it?» he breathes low against you.

«Wanna hear you ask for it»

«Want you to fuck me,» you let all your inhibitions fall to the ground «rough and sweet at the same time»

«Fuck, get on the bed» his cock is already throbbing and twitching against the cloth, too hard and too weary to hold back from before and hearing your pleads just made it hungrier.

«You make me lose it,» he watches you as you let your wet hair fall over your shoulders, the towel gets thrown on the floor and a second later you’re naked and sitting on the edge and his mind doesn’t function when you look at him like this «you want it rough? Want me to fuck you while a sweet talk you? Is that what you want?»

Shit, holy shit, yes. Totally. You can’t even answer him, too entranced by the view of him taking the fabric off and letting it fall on the ground, his eyes burning with fire and ready to devour you.

«Lay down,» he wraps a hand around his shaft, pumping it a few times and making your pussy pulsate around nothing «slide back, get comfortable on the pillows»

You do as he says, body running only with the thrill in your veins. Your eyes lower back on his cock, red and hard, standing eager on his stomach it makes you salivate and wish to wrap your lips around it but Jungkook doesn’t have the same thought in mind. He knees on the bed, looks at your face.

«Open your legs,» he orders, tone firm «open your fucking legs»

You don’t know if you’re ready for what’s to come. Your thighs open, feet digging into the soft mattress, his eyes ravenous. He licks his lips and strokes the head of his cock with his thumb, lets out a low groan; «That’s it»

You don’t even have time to realise what he’s doing, because a second later he’s already laying down and sucking on your clit and your eyes roll back in your head for how good it feels. The sound of him stroking his cock sends you spiralling, his soft mouth sucking and wrapping around your pearl sends every nerve on fire.

«Fucking good pussy,» he breathes letting go of your clit, licking a strap over it «wanna make it squirt»

«Fuck, Jungkook» his words are pure sin, and your body wants it all.

«You like that? Like hearing that?» he kisses the bead so softly that you feel your breath getting stuck.

«I love her so much,» he sucks it again, hard and totally merciless «wanna make her cum so hard, baby. Want you to feel so good» his voice is muffled, he speaks when he lets go of you but doesn’t part enough for your clit not to perceive the brush of his lips as pleasure.

He lets go of his cock to push his finger inside you, filling you up and making you squirm on the bed. Jungkook clicks his tongue and kisses your clit again.

«Can she do that?» he arches his finger inside you, hitting your g-spot perfectly as he flicks his tongue over your clit. The pace is fast, it makes your pussy throb with sensitivity and your juices drip out of your hole, his knuckles are totally wet with them. Jungkook’s cock is throbbing, twitching in desperation, precum leaking out in need.

«Can you do that for me, love?» the last word makes your insides burn, his eyes travelling to your face just in time to see your lips open in a silent moan.

«Don’t- know» you let out, fisting the sheets. Jungkook blows on your clit and he feels your walls contract around his finger, so fucking soft and tight that he wants to bury his cock inside you and never come out.

He pushes a second finger in, fucking inside you and watching your expression totally lost as he sucks your clit again, his lips tight around it. He moans on it, watches your thighs tremble at his sides and lets go again, consuming you and your mind, taking over totally. The way he clicks the underside of his tongue on your pearl makes you moan loud and he licks all the way down from it to your core, opens his lips as much as he can to take every part of you in his mouth, his teeth lightly brush against you and your hips raise involuntarily on the bed, pushing against his face. He moans on you, balls hard and cock oversensitive even with the smallest change of air, slurps at your juices as he sucks them through your entrance and lingers in the sweetness of them, so fucking saccharine and creamy. He wants you to explode, let go.

«Never enough,» he licks back up from your pussy to your clit, flicking his tongue on the spot that makes you lose your mind, fingers pushing buttons inside of you that make your vision blurry «love you so much baby, push your pussy on my face»

«Koo, I…»

«Push it all over me,» he growls on your clit, curls his fingers inside you «want your juices all over me, I love them so much»

You don’t hold yourself back anymore, do as he says. Your hips push up again, your hand goes to his hair and Jungkook sucks your clit again and again and again and you think you’re about to break cause it’s too fucking much.

«Wanna make you cum» he moans as he dives as deep as he can into you, both with his fingers and with his tongue on your clit. The pressure added makes your head dig in the pillow, a breathy moan escaping your lips.

«Again and again, and again. Until you can’t take anymore cause it’s too much. Wanna fuck you and tell you how fucking much I love you and see you cum all over my fucking cock. Shit, you make me desperate»

It’s sudden and it tears you apart and it stings a little but feels so fucking good that your body shakes and you don’t breathe anymore, because he bites your clit just enough and you can’t help it. You tremble and shiver, eyes shut and lips wide open, your hair wetting the pillow and your mind blank as the pleasure becomes too much and you let go. Jungkook licks your juices, slurps on them, dries your pussy of every drop, gulps them down as if it was the sweetest syrup in the world, his eyes on your face admiring how fucking beautiful you are when you cum, all for him and him only. His tongue on you feels so soft, his lips kiss and brush against every inch of your center and Jungkook can’t help but push the tip of his wet muscle inside you, making you shiver.

«Koo» you whine. He smiles against you, pushing it deeper and you writhe on the bed, too sensitive and overwhelmed. His fingers push on your hips, keeping you in place and against his lips.

«Is she sensitive?» he pecks your inner thigh, looking up at you. You nod out of breath, eyes locking with his.

«Wanna make you cum again,» he huffs «can she take it for me?»

«Jungkook, I- sensitive» you whine as he pecks your mound, lowering on your clit with a lick of his tongue on your skin. He blows on it, watching you squirm once more and whine.

«Poor baby» he kisses the pearl decadently.

«Oh, fuck» your hand fists his hair, tugging at the roots, Jungkook kisses it again, he opens his mouth slightly and lets the inner wet part of his lower lip add pressure as he slowly moves up to slide his lips on you.

«You like it when I kiss your clit?» his hand travels up to your abdomen, it passes your hips and your tummy, fingers sprayed as he grasps your left breast and squeezes it slightly.

You nod at him, your pussy is pulsating and it’s so wet and sensitive that you can’t speak properly. He kisses it again, loud and sultry, again and again and again until you lose count and your walls are crumping up again, the pleasure too much to handle.

«Look at me,» he coos tenderly «let me see your pretty face»

You open your eyes, look down at him from the pillow that it’s soaked with the water in your hair. Jungkook’s thumb strokes your nipple, slow and gentle it makes your leg open for him even more and he has to hold back from reaching down to stroke his cock again.

«Can you cum again for me, baby? Wanna give you so much more,» he flicks his tongue over your clit, making you hiss «wanna fuck you so good, want you to feel me for the whole day tomorrow»

His words make your pussy clench around nothing and all you can do is let go and feel the pleasure build up, picturing his cock inside you and thrilled to have him fuck you in the same way he’s been doing with his lips. The thought is too alluring and when he kisses your clit again your mind goes blank and all you can feel it’s your pearl pulsating desperate and his slurpy kisses sending you in a haze. They’re endless, Jungkook kisses your pussy and your legs are trembling again, weary and too sensitive to last any longer. You moan silently, dig your head in the pillows, feel his lips all over you even as you cum again. His hand caresses your tummy, providing comfort as your body goes limp on the bed, lips pecking your inner thighs and your mound, your knees, your tummy, his hand locking around yours. The way you look, shit, it’s ethereal. He doesn’t think he ever witnessed such a beautiful masterpiece, you should be worshipped and represented in every frame, hung in museums, have buildings built with your name. There has to be somewhere, a distant, alternative universe maybe, where you’re a princess of a flourishing land or the goddess of the universe, there has to be.

«I love you so much,» he’s helpless, eyes fixated on you «I wanna keep you in my pocket and cuddle you every night. Wanna shelter you from the world»

«Come here, please» you squeeze his hand, Jungkook lays down on you without having you to ask twice. His cock is rock hard, poking at your tummy and leaking precum from the tip but he’s so fucking in love with you that all he can do is snuggle his face in the crook of your neck and wrap one of his arms around you, the other helping him up not to weight down on you.

«I think you broke me» you groan tired, eyes shut as you feel him giggle and hide more into you.

«You asked for it» he mumbles.

«I didn’t ask for three orgasms» you scoff at him, arms wrapping around him. His chest is firm against you, his back broad and your fingers can’t help but wander and caress it up and down, he shivers on top of you.

«You- you’re so annoying» he groans.

«Aish, here we go again,» you laugh at him, stroking his wet hair with your other hand

«thank you for making me cum three times» you kiss his neck. Jungkook smiles against you, he closes his eyes and takes in your sweet scent.

«That’s better,» he kisses your skin «was it too much? Maybe I shouldn’t ha-»

«I loved it,» you shake your head eagerly, slightly tugging at the strands to make him look at you «every single one of it»

He scrunches his nose, a bright beam taking over his face.

«I’m just teasing you,» you stroke his back «I love when you make me cum with your lips» it comes out low and almost like a whisper and he can see your cheeks reddening, but his heart flutters and all he wants to do is kiss you until the world explodes.

«Yeah?» he coos sweetly, hushed and airy. You nod, eyes lowering on his lips.

«Yes,» you smile «that thing you did- when you bit me…»

He licks his lips and boops his nose to yours.

«Did it feel good?» he asks under his breath. The way he checks in with you every time makes you feel so cherished and it’s like he’s embracing you in a tight warm blanket, totally safe and cared for.

«A lot,» you nod «felt so good, love»

«I wanted to try that» his lips brush against yours when he speaks. You smile at him, pushing your face up just enough to make your lips lock together, his moan is sweet as your tongue enters his mouth. His fingers caress your hip, your shoulder, his hand cups your head as you lay back down and he lowers himself to keep contact, your soft petals and the way you give yourself to him makes his chest swell with happiness and vulnerability every time, how you smile against him, kiss him some more. His cock twitches and you giggle under his lips, Jungkook pecking your lower one with all the love he has inside him.

«Wanna make you cum» you whisper when he parts a little, lashes fluttering at the sound of your voice.

«Wanna cum inside you,» he lets out, hand cupping your cheek «but I can just-»

«I want you inside me,» you cut him off, already knowing where his brain is taking him «don’t care if I’m sensitive. Wanna feel you»

He munches on his lips, cheeks a little swollen as he mulls it over: «Are you sure?»

«I’m sure, Koo. Please, fuck me?» you huff looking up at him, his eyebrows raise at your unceremonious words. You peck his lips and lift your hips up knowing well that he’s still not sure about it. His cock jerks and Jungkook lets out a strangled moan, closing his eyes shut.

«Fuck, can’t say no when you tease me like this» he breathes through his mouth. You grin, his eyes open to look straight down at you.

«Good, cause I’ve waited quite a while» you tease. He scoffs on your face, his hand moves away from your skin just so he can slap your thigh but it only makes you grin more.

«Open your legs» he smiles at your attitude, shaking his head slightly in disdain but his pupils are sparkling and he’s so cute right now that you want to kiss him dumb. However, you do as he says, your movements are quick and your pussy is still throbbing from your last orgasm.

Jungkook parts just a little, he grabs the length of his cock and strokes it once or twice, it cuts your breath off just to look down at his motions; his big and slender hand, beautiful fingers, the girth of his cock and the precum leaking from its head, red and needy.

«I wanna try something sometime» you let out totally entranced, he guides his cock to your pussy, sliding it into your folds. The sensation makes him bite on his lips with his eyes squeezed shut, a needy whine escaping his lips.

«Ngh- what?» he looks down at you.

«Gonna tell you when you’re inside me» you tease him, making him scoff. He lifts his hips slightly, takes his cock away from your lips.

«You’re such a brat» his hand lays on you clit, slapping it just enough to make you moan out loud. Your eyes widen in shock, he grins and kisses your cheek and you don’t know if you should be dripping with arousal or dig a hole into the ground and giggle for his cuteness and the way he makes you heart flutter with just a loving peck.

Jungkook lowers himself back again, he wraps his hand around his shaft to guide it back to where it was and slides it between your folds, it’s so wet that the underside of his cock is soaked with your juices and all he wants to do is feel them on his tongue again. Your clit is oversensitive and the weight of his cock on you only makes it worse, your hand is already gripping the sheets.

He slides his length up and down as he admires the way your eyelashes flutter and the red shade of your lips, your pretty nose, the shape of your eyes. He loves you so much, so freaking much it’s hard to handle it, it’s thought to even just breathe through it.

«Love, look at me?» he coos. Just a word and you’re melting in a puddle, breath staggered. He’s so beautiful, so ethereal. He slides his cock down to your entrance, pokes at it with the head.

«I love you» you whisper. Jungkook smiles, his cock pushes inside you and even though he halts his hips to get you used to the feeling your hands come down on his ass and you push him deeper, making him groan under his breath and close his eyes at the feeling. Tight, close, so fucking wet that his cock is already soaked, so soft. His lips are open, eyebrows furrowed and you don’t know if you want him to go rough on you anymore cause your arms are dying to feel him close and your heart is pounding and throbbing for his love and his affection. He’s so beautiful, so beautiful it tears you apart in the most saccharine way, you love him so much.

«Say it back, please» you breathe.

Jungkook lays his head on your chest, the movement is slow and his breath is staggered, he looks up at you. Some strands of his hair come in the way of his eyes, a drop of water dripping down from one of them and caressing his cheekbone as it travels down. Your eyes are sparkling, lost in a haze, lips open just slightly.

«I love you,» he kisses your clavicle «I’m- don’t even know if that’s enough cause- it doesn’t hold half of the meaning of what I feel for you» his nose brushes against your neck as he hovers over you.

«But I love you, so much. So freaking much, baby»

«Please, move» you breath low.

«Wanna feel you»

«Like this?» he brings his hips back, his cock slides against your walls perfectly, it rubs over every nerve, and then he pushes back in, slow and maddening he stretches you out in the best way possible as your legs move around his hips to cage him into you, his low moan resonating in your ear.

«Shit, yes» you nod. Jungkook kisses your neck, his hand reaches yours and locks around it, thumb caressing the back as he pulls back out just to hit your spot again.

«You’re perfect,» he licks his lips looking down at you «so perfect. Tell me you’re mine»

«I’m yours,» the way he groans at your words makes your pussy clench around him and he throws his head down on your chest at the sensation «only yours, all yours»

«Fuck, say it again» he rests there with his hand pushing yours down on the bed as he moves inside you, his pace fastening.

«Yours, Jungkook. All- every part of me» you moan. He feels so good, so perfect. His cock makes you helpless, he makes you helpless. Just a look, a blink of his eyes and you would do the worst, the absolute worst for him even though you know that he would never ask. You can’t help it, you’re so fucking in love with him that you can’t see straight and the world finally makes sense cause he’s in it and all over you.

«Fuck, yes,» he kisses your chest, hovers over your face again «want a whole life with you»

God, your heart is bursting. He makes you want to stay all day in his arms and only live by his warmth, look at the stars in the sky just to compare them to the ones sparkling in his dark eyes.

«Please, yes» you whine as he hits your g-spot, eyes deep in his «want you every day, Kook. Wanna wake up to your face every fucking day»

«Yeah?» he’s losing his mind, and you can see it clearly. Trying to hold himself back, licking his lips as he stares down at yours and your eyes, fucking himself so deep into you that it’s driving him insane. The sounds that come from your wetness make your cheeks red, all the orgasms you had before and still you’re still hungry for more, for him.

«Yes» you nod eager. He moans out loud, you feel his cock throb inside you and leak precum that mixes with your juices. It’s absolute filth but it feels so intimate that it makes your head spin and your heart clench.

«Can do that,» he kisses your lips «I absolutely can do that. Please don’t change your mind» he sounds like begging and you can’t help but wrap tighter around him.

«Not gonna» you huff. The moment he smiles at you, shit you know you can’t go back anymore. It feels so good, so sweet but so consuming and he’s yours, his smile is. The way his eyes sparkle when he looks at you, the sound of his breath too overwhelmed by you, his hand squeezing yours, all yours.

Jungkook can’t get used to this, he doesn’t think he ever could. Every time he makes love to you, every time you give yourself to him his body lights up, his soul grows a size more just to get as much of you as it can. Seeing you under him in his bed, with your hair wetting the sheets, your body naked for him, your vulnerability in his hands that promise to worship every inch of it and comfort it with everything he can, your cheeks red, lips swollen, eyes starry and almost shut for the pleasure he’s making you feel… he knows he will never get used to this. Not even in another life, at the last one of them all.

«Wish I could take a picture of you right now,» he fans over your lips «so pretty. So beautiful, I love it. Love you, love your pussy, love how you give yourself to me»

«Shit, feels so good» your hands cups his head, bringing him for a sloppy kiss, passionate and lost as his hips keep meeting yours. Jungkook doesn’t know how long he will be able to hold himself back, cause his cock is twitching and his balls are already tight. He was having a hard time even when he was making you cum, every time felt like a torture to his throbbing and heavy dick on his stomach.

«Shit, baby I’m sorry- I don’t know if I can give you what you want- nngh, it feels too good to have you like this» he whines in your ear, kisses your neck endlessly. His hand leaves yours to cup your breast, fingers sprayed and digging into your skin, your pussy clenching. The thought seems far away now, you can’t let go of having him like this, ruining you slowly.

«It’s okay, like this is perfect» you puff out a breath, Jungkook pushes a little harder inside you and suddenly your body is on the edge, eyes squeezed shut.

«You’re going to cum?» he hides himself deeper into you, keeps hitting your spot faster but doesn’t dare to pull out cause seeing you like this sends his mind in a haze. For god’s sake, he’d spend all night long like this. Making you cum undone, over and over again until you soak his sheets with your juices and your lips are so swollen that they hurt. His cock rubs against you perfectly, hips moving faster and faster as his groans fill the room, he just pulls himself back enough to meet your spot again without losing it, giving your sensitive pussy what she’s been begging for by engulfing his length so deliciously.

«Gonna cum» you nod. Jungkook bites his lips, teeth digging into the red flash, pupils fixated on your face as you let out a moan.

«Love watching you cum,» his hand strokes your cheek «let go, love. Do it for me, baby»

Your mind goes blank once more, your lungs are on fire as you try to breathe properly but can’t, pussy pulsating desperately and extremely sensitive. He pecks your lips and shit, the gesture has your heart clenching and it makes you cry out loud because it’s too much freaking pleasure and sweetness and you just- it overwhelms you. Totally and wholly, your legs shake in spasms, you hear Jungkook swear and moan but it’s too far away and your ears are not working well, you can’t feel your body anymore, it’s like you don’t have control over it. Jungkook watches you entranced, he digs his head in the crook of your neck and stops his motions even though he was about to cum just to hold your shaking body and provide comfort with his hold, kisses every inch of skin he finds. Your breath in his ear is heavy, your eyes closed and lips apart, and he feels himself growing desperate, not to cum but to reassure you in the gentlest way possible and provide comfort to every part of you. He kisses your cheek more than a few times loudly and silently, lays his forehead against yours and pecks the tip on your nose, snuggles against it with his, he keeps his arms wrapped around you and his cock still buried in your pulsating core.

«Fuck- Jungkook» you let out a low whine with your eyes closed. Jungkook giggles and lays a smooch on your cheek again.

«You- you don’t know how fucking sexy that was» you open your eyes, your vision is a little blurry.

«I- you made me cum so hard» you hug him back but feel him still rock hard inside you and filling you up totally.

«You… why did you stop? You didn’t cum»

He raises his eyebrows and pecks your temple. His thumb strokes your cheek: «Didn’t wanna overstimulate you more,» he squeezes you tighter «you squirted all over me»

«I- what?» your eyes widen as your lips hang down. Jungkook smiles and nods looking down at you.

«Did you ever do that?» he coos gentle, voice low almost like a whisper.

You shake your head: «Never, are you sure I- really?»

He giggles at your tone, parts by pushing on his arms with his length still inside you. The whole expanse of his abdomen gets shown, muscles rippling and his brownish nipples standing, the v line that guide to his cock… wet.

«Oh, fuck,» you pull him down by pushing him from behind his back «I didn’t think I could do that. Shit, it’s so embarrassing but-»

«It was sexy as hell, baby,» he shakes his head to make your brain stop overthinking it «just to think about it makes- thinking that you felt so good that you couldn’t hold it back- ngh, makes me wanna make you do it again»

«Don’t get used to it,» you huff on his lips, shaking your head but smiling shyly «it never happened»

He pecks your lips.

«I promise I won’t,» he beams «how do you feel?»

The smile that takes over your features makes his heart throb. You couldn’t wrap your head around it if you knew how much he loves you. Asking you how you’re feeling after making you cum so hard when he’s still rock hard and needy inside you, just this makes your chest hurt.

«Good, baby. I feel good,» you bring your hand on his face to caress his cheek and travel your finger on his temple, they push a strand of hair away from his sight «wanna make you cum» you squeeze your walls around him even though you’re still pulsating and too sensitive. Jungkook whines at your ways, let’s his head fall into your neck again.

«Baby- don’t. Shit- feels so good. Don’t wanna- hurt you» he whimpers when you do it again, his eyes are shut and his cock is twitching but it’s caged in your tight hold and it makes him crazy.

«Please, wanna feel you cum,» you kiss the soft skin of his neck, warm and fair, leave your lips on it as you speak «please, love»

«Baby, for real I-» his voice trembles as he tries to restrain himself.

«Please,» you pout even though he can’t see you, you move your hand slowly down his back until you find his asscheek «cum for me? Want you to paint my pussy with your cum»

God, he can’t think straight when you whisper filth like this in his ear and make it sound like the sweet prayer of an angel, honey coated.

You squeeze his asscheek slightly, push your hand down on his flash to make him sink deeper into you, your juices wet and soaking his balls.

«Fuck, tell me if it hurts» he whines knowing well that you won’t give up. His arm pulls you to him more until your hard nipples are tight against his chest and his cock throbbing inside you. He pulls out slowly, driving himself crazy with the sounds of your pussy and how good you engulf him, dives deep inside you at the same pace. His cockhead is oversensitive, when it touches your walls it leaks so much precum that you bite your lips and Jungkook moans loud and breathy, tight to you. He open his lips on your skin, breathes in your sweet scent and kisses your flash endlessly as he pulls back his hips again just to push back inside slowly.

«So wet,» he whimpers «so freaking wet, baby. Drives me insane»

«Wanna see your face when you cum,» you tug at the roots of his hair a bit and Jungkook’s hand reaches yours as he raises his head to look at you, bringing it on the bed and interlocking his fingers «love when you cum for me»

He’s desperate, out of breath, whiny, high pitched as he fucks himself slowly into your heaven, so freaking juicy and wet that he’s afraid he’d slip out if his strokes were any longer or faster. The thought pushes him closer, having your pussy so wet for him and your arms all around him, your face looking at him as he hovers over you, features ethereal and full of love and admiration for his pleasure, whispers in his ear.

«Love you,» when you peck his nose he whines even more «love you so much. Can’t get enough of you»

«My- baby,» his breath is staggered «you’re- my baby»

Your hands make him crazy, they brush against his back and help him fuck himself into you by pushing on his ass, caress his hair, dig into the muscles of his shoulders, write stories on his skin that you didn’t live together yet. Jungkook feels overwhelmed, totally defeated. You bring him close to you, kiss him sloppy and dumb and make him the happiest man alive and suddenly, he’s whimpering and moaning and his movements come to an halt.

«Fucking- fuck, shit» he cries into your mouth with his eyes closed and squeezed, eyebrows furrowed, voice not even able to speak properly. His cum bursts inside you, it paints your walls and fills you up totally, hot and wet it mixes with your juices and your pussy clenches around him at the feeling, a breathy whimper coming out of his lips.

«Can’t- can’t take so much love» he crashes in the space between your head and your shoulder. His body is trembling and his cock throbs inside you. Your breath gets cut as you wrap him up in the best way that you can. You stroke his hair with your fingers, your legs cage him into you again, one of your arms keeps his chest close to yours, so tight that you feel his heart pound and your lips kiss every inch of skin that you manage to reach.

Jungkook lays there with his mind blank and his heart bursting, hiding himself in his safe place in your neck and trying to steady his breath.

«Did- did it hurt?» he gulps as he speaks, voice weary and frail. You kiss his earlobe, play with the strands of his hair.

«It didn’t,» you hum «don’t worry about it»

«I’m sorry baby, I- it was too much, couldn’t do what you wanted»

«Changed my mind when we started,» you chuckle as he turns his head, your side profile makes him want to caress your nose with his finger «we can do that another time»

He hums a little, a sweet kiss on your neck.

«I promise it’s gonna be good,» he nods «you make love to me so sweet. Tears me apart» his voice is a bit high pitched, but it comes out as a whisper, so vulnerable.

You flash a smile, moving slightly under him. Jungkook takes a deep breath and pushes on his arms to kiss your lips and then look down between you. His cock is still inside you and he snuggles himself into your skin as he grabs the base of it, the sensitivity of his length makes him moan as he slides it out of you, drenched in both of your cum and his and still half hard. You pat the bed beside you, turn on your side as he lays down.

«Closer,» you pout «closer baby»

He fights with the sheets making you giggle as he gets closer, until he lays his head down on the pillow just an inch away from you, body so close you feel the heat radiating from his skin as his arm comes around you and pushes you to him, chest tight. He brushes your back with his fingertips and you shiver when they stroke up your spine, slow and ticklish until they reach the back of your neck and he cups your cheek.

«Do you want to go for real?» he asks low. You nod your head, a little smile on your lips.

«Wanna go,» you push a strand of humid hair out of his face «for real»

His smile makes your heart clench, that little nose scrunch that you love so much and his cheeks full, eyes full of stars.

«Aish, I’m so happy,» he stretches his leg over yours «we should get the tickets after we shower»

«Let’s do that,» you squeeze his cheek «let’s go shower?»

«Just a little,» he whines and pushes himself tighter against your body «let’s wait a little? Love cuddling after we make love»

Shit, you can’t help it. You love him so much, he squeezes your heart in his hand every time he looks at you, when he talks with his tone sugar coated, frail and totally helpless and shows himself begging for your love with his eyes, so vulnerable that you just fill full. You want to make him happy. Want to see him smile, giggle and titter, laugh out loud until he has tears in his eyes, colour his world of the same pink shade he paints yours in. You want to make him breathe and feel the same feeling you have in your chest, cause it’s too much to bare on your own and it makes you lose your mind to see him drunk in it. You want to have in wholly, every day and fill your time with memories and experiences, learn as much as you can, the little secrets that he told you and the ones you don’t know yet, find out about his pet peeves when he’ll be older and have arguments just to make up and hug each other so tight that something inside you either breaks and he’ll have to kiss its wound or fixes. Hold him so tight that he can’t breathe, shower him with love and hug him tight when you both cry cause you love each other too much, kiss his insecurities away and give him a shielded place to hide himself in and to heal, cause you will always have your arms empty for him, whenever he needs a safe space you will be here, as you’ve always done with each other. You want him to remember this, and to sleep well, cause you will be here taking care of him just the same as he does with you.

«Love» he coos. You hum in question, a big beam on your face.

«You didn’t tell me»

«What?»

«What you wanted to try» he whispers, eyes big and full of curiosity. You scoff at him and shake your head.

«Next time, I’ll tell you»

«I want to know,» he pouts «please, tell me?»

You sigh: «you’re still half hard, Koo»

«Don’t care, not in the mood for something freaky now, anyway» he mulls. You roll your eyes at him.

«Who told you it’s something freaky?» you slap his shoulder and Jungkook giggles.

«Then tell me,» he brushes his lips against yours «what is it?»

You cheeks colour of a red shade, his eyes look at them as he munches on his lips, his thumb caresses your cheek.

«Wanna watch while you touch yourself,» you whisper shyly «you don’t have to if-»

«Oh, shit-» he gulps down on his spit «could you do the same while I do that?»

Your eyes widen, you want to laugh for whatever is going on because you came four times and somehow your pussy is getting wet again, it’s ridiculous.

«I- if you want me to» you smile. Jungkook nods and nuzzles his face to you.

«Hell yes if I want that» he chirps. You chuckle at his excitement, hide your face into the pillow. His lips are so stretched that his cheeks hurt.

«Just, let’s take one step at a time,» he strokes your back «I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. I want to do things right, in the right way for you» he goes to stroke your hair and you raise your face from the pillow.

«I don’t, I told you»

«I know,» he nods and kisses your lips softly, feather like «whenever you want to do anything, when it’s the right time for you, you know I’m always here»

«I know,» your heart clenches «I love you»

He pushes his face closer to yours until he’s breathing over your lips and his brush on you as he speaks: «I love you too,» he smiles «loved you for so much, will love you always»

You you can read the first part here: Closer: Too Close