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Episode 65: Chapters 32-34

Chapter 32

As they near the barn, Leafdapple and Firestar share their fears for SkyClan in the coming battle, but Firestar is committed to staying to help. SkyClan’s plan is for half of their patrol to lure the rats out from inside the barn so that they can fight them in the open. However, the rats are too much for the inside patrol to handle and the rest of the clan rushes into the barn to help them, despite Sandstorm and Firestar’s orders not to. Most of SkyClan is able to fight their way back outside the barn except for Rainfur, who is surrounded by rats. Firestar and Sandstorm try to help him, but Firestar is attacked by the rat leader and loses a life.

Chapter 33

Firestar awakes in the Whispering Cave, where Cloudstar is waiting. Cloudstar gives him strength to go back to his physical body. Sandstorm and Leafdapple help him escape up a tree, where the rest of the clan is hiding from the rats. They tell him that Rainfur is dead. Firestar is overwhelmed with his failure to save him and SkyClan, but Leafdapple steps up and rallies everyone together again. They decide to take out the leader of the rats since the swarm is taking orders from him. The cats try to trick the rats into revealing which one can speak cat by using taunts, but it doesn’t work. Suddenly, a familiar sweet scent™ materializes and Spottedleaf’s voice whispers to him how to find the rat leader. Firestar pounces on the rat leader, instantly dispersing the now terrified rat pack. The clan attacks the stragglers while the rest of the rats flee.

Afterward, they carry Rainfur’s body back to camp for a vigil. Firestar breaks the news to Petalnose and the vigil is different from their last one, with all the cats better understanding the loss of someone they knew. Firestar grapples with his own guilt for Rainfur’s death and whether it was right to bring SkyClan back.

Chapter 34

The next morning, Shortwhisker tells everyone that he wants to leave SkyClan, saying that the rat attack revealed his fear and how he didn’t want to die for the clan. While other cats protest, saying he fought honorably, Shortwhisker, now Hutch again, is insistent and Firestar respects his decision. They all part ways amicably, with Leafdapple adding that Hutch will always be welcome in SkyClan as a friend. Afterward, Leafdapple scratches through the rat claw marks in the caves to show that the gorge belongs to SkyClan again.

Later on, Sandstorm and Firestar talk about when they should leave. Sandstorm thinks it should be soon, but Firestar is worried for SkyClan. They decide that they should leave when SkyClan can reach its warrior ancestors to choose a leader. After some time, Echosong comes to Firestar about a prophecy saying that Leafdapple will be their new leader. She, Firestar, and Leafdapple later go down to the Whispering Cave to try and talk to SkyClan’s ancestors.

#firestar's quest EP #summary

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Episode 64: Chapter 29-31

Chapter 29

Firestar checks in with Sandstorm, who is trying to tend to Patchfoot’s injuries. She has some knowledge about medicine but not enough to really help him. Suddenly, Spottedleaf appears with just the right medical advice and free herbs to help Patchfoot, saying she is here because they both need her. Firestar says he’s surprised Spottedleaf can speak to him so far from their territory, accidentally revealing to Sandstorm that he does this all the time. This understandably upsets Sandstorm. Spottedleaf reassures Sandstorm that she and Firestar could’ve never been mates because she was a medicine cat. Sandstorm’s confidence is restored, Spottedleaf secretly whispers to Firestar about what could have been between them (i.e. Nothing), and Patchfoot’s condition is stabilized.

Soon after, Firestar sets up extra patrols and battle training for SkyClan in preparation for a confrontation with the rats. He and Sandstorm discuss the clan’s need for a medicine cat soon, but can’t think of a suitable candidate among of its members. Later on, Firestar dreams of Skywatcher in StarClan, who speaks to him about the rats and SkyClan, and also tells him that SkyClan’s medicine cat is out there and has dreams about SkyClan. With this knowledge, Firestar and Sparrowpaw later go searching for this cat around Twolegplace, sympathizing  about their own experiences as former kittypets. They encounter the grumpy kittypet Oscar, as well as a new kittypet named Echo, who tells them she dreams of starry cats.

Chapter 30

While Oscar is in disbelief at the following conversation about StarClan and SkyClan, Echo readily drinks it all in, happy to find an explanation for the strange dreams she’s been having. She agrees to go with Firestar and Sparrowpaw back to the gorge to be the new SKyClan medicine cat, hoping to find a new purpose for her life. On the way there, she asks about how she’ll learn about being a medicine cat, to which Firestar just kind of shrugs and says Sandstorm has some tips and that StarClan will reach her…somehow. When they arrive at camp, Echo quickly makes friends with most of the other cats by being friendly and eager to learn.

Later on, the cats all go to Skyrock at night for a kind of Gathering of their own. They share news and jokes, while some of them, like Sharpclaw and Cherrypaw express their impatience to directly attack the rats. To this, Firestar says they need Patchfoot to recover first. In the meantime, they formerly welcome their new medicine cat, giving her the new name of Echosong. As the days go on, some of the clan become impatient or complacent while waiting for the rats to attack. Shortwhisker falls asleep keeping watch and is scolded by Firestar. Firestar knows the rats are trying to tire them out. In the meantime, Petal and Rainfur try to decide if they’ll join the clan or not.

Echosong  gains some confidence as a medicine cat, but is still insecure being a former kittypet and having no formal training. She also doesn’t dream of the StarClan cats anymore and Firestar’s attempts to help her there are unsuccessful. He and Sandstorm are also stressed, discussing SkyClan’s possible options for the future. Echosong regains hope when she finds out from Tinykit about the voices in the Whispering Cave, hearing them too and understanding they’re the voices of their SkyClan ancestors.

Chapter 31

SkyClan is caught of guard by a nighttime rat attack. They’re all split off from each other trying to fight the rats and keep them from the nursery when the rats suddenly retreat. Sharpclaw is eager to chase them, but holds back when Firestar says it might be a trap to ambush the cats. The whole clan survives and Echosong and Sandstorm help tend to injuries. Sharpclaw proposes a plan to attack tomorrow night, to which all the cats agree. Firestar thinks he’ll make a good leader but feels it isn’t his choice to make.

The cats spend most of the next day training and prepping. Rainfur, Petal, and their kits decide to stay in SkyClan, which proudly welcomes them as new clanmates. That night, Petalnose and Echosong stay behind with the kits while all the other warriors get ready to attack the rats at the barn. Firestar fears for the wellbeing of their newly rebuilt clan, but Echosong tells him confidently that she’ll see him again after the battle.

#summary #firestar's quest EP

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Episode 63: Chapter 26-28

Chapter 26

Firestar leads a dawn patrol with Sharpclaw, Leafdapple, Cherrypaw, and Sparrowpaw. The goal is to set SkyClan's new borders, so he teaches them how to best set territory markers (piss). They try to be mindful of the existing territory of the rogue cats in the area. The patrol goes well, especially with the two apprentices being in their best behavior. On the way back to camp, they meet Sandstorm who tells Firestar that no one has seen Skywatcher all morning. Firestar goes to check on Skywatcher's den and finds that he has passed away in the night. He's sad about his friend's death and arranges a vigil back at camp for Skywatcher's body. The new members of SkyClan try to be respectful and decide to keep the vigil together, but don't quite understand the weight or meaning behind it, especially since they didn't know Skywatcher very well.

A few days later, Firestar tries to encourage Shortwhisker and Clovertail separately about warrior training, but Shortwhisker is still too self-conscious and Clovertail still is too worried about her kits. Firestar and Sandstorm come up with one-on-one training sessions for Shortwhisker, which works much better. In the meantime, Clovertail is motivated to start warrior training after rescuing one of her kits from drowning.

The kits are all safe, but they say that they were exploring the cave with glowing moss because they heard voices there. The other cats are in disbelief mostly, but Firestar remembers that Skywatcher said the Shining Cave was the old SkyClan's special place for medicine cats. He takes everyone down there later on to see if their ancestors will say anything or appoint a medicine cat, but nothing happens. He explains some of the cave's significance, but not all of it, wishing to find a medicine cat soon.

Chapter 27

Clovertail is training with Sandstorm and doing well. The session is interrupted by the arrival of Rainfur, a rogue who'd previously refused to join SkyClan. He asks them for help to rescue his mate, a kittypet named Petal and her two kits, who are trapped with their abusive Twoleg owner. Firestar lets the SkyClan cats take the lead in forming the rescue plan, which is to distract the Twoleg so that Petal and the kits can be helped outside. The plan works and they all return safely to the gorge. Petal and her kits are welcome to stay, as is Rainfur who is coming around to the benefits of clan life. In the meantime, Firestar worries about being seen as SkyClan's leader and hopes their ancestors will choose someone soon.

Chapter 28

While Firestar is watching Sharpclaw train his apprentice Cherrypaw, Sparrowpaw runs in with news that they've been attacked. Patchfoot is severely injured and Sandstorm reports that they were attacked by rats outside of a barn. Firestar realizes that the rats are actually the incredibly evil malevolent force he's been sensing this whole time near that area by the barn. Sandstorm tries to tend to Patchfoot and Rainfur goes to find herbs from the garden of Petal's old Twoleg.

Meanwhile, Firestar takes Sharpclaw and Cherrypaw to check out the rats. At the barn, he senses that evil force again and suddenly a comically huge amount of rats pours out of the barn, headed by a muscular rat leader. The rat leader apparently speaks enough cat for the SkyClan patrol to understand and tells them that while the rats spared Patchfoot, they have killed cats before and will do so again if their territory is threatened.

The patrol flees back to camp. Firestar realizes that the rats must have been what drove SkyClan out originally, and that the mysterious scratches on the old caves where they lived were made by the rats attacking SkyClan in the past. Firestar calls a clan meeting to organize an attack on the rat barn. They're all shaken by the news, but regain some of their resolve because SkyClan is their home and they want to defend it. Firestar only hopes he isn't leading them to die.

#summaries #firestar's quest EP

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Episode 62: Chapters 23-25

Chapter 23

The chapter opens with Firestar, Cherry, and Boris out on a hunting patrol. During this, both the kittypets muse about how they are worried about upsetting their housefolk when they leave for SkyClan. When the patrol finishes and they head back to the gorge, Firestar meets with Sandstorm who is annoyed by Cherry’s unwillingness to help out the clan. They then muse about making Clover’s kits apprentices, but realize they would need more cats to apprentice them first.

Just then, Cherry and Boris run up with an idea to introduce Firestar to various kittypets they know so that he can invite them to join SkyClan. Firestar agrees, and the two kittypets lead him into the Twolegplace (which makes him a bit nervous). He meets a ton of cats, which I will summarize here because this chapter is SO long, and invites them all to a meeting the following night. He meets Oscar (mean), Bella (Cherry’s girl best friend who is a true kittypet), Hutch (gets cream from his owners), a dog (gets bullied by Cherry), and then two Siamese cats which I think are an unfortunate reference to the racist Lady and the Tramp Siamese cats.

At the end of the day, Firestar heads back to the gorge and meets the brown rogue he had briefly seen earlier. The rogue is uninterested in joining the meeting and leaves quickly. Back at camp, Scratch offers to take Firestar around to see the rogues he knows to invite them to join SkyClan. Sandstorm doesn’t come because she is busy being a female character playing with children. Along the way, Firestar gets frightened again by the unseen ominous presence that Scratch doesn’t seem to register. They then meet various rogues, which I will also summarize: Leaf (she-cat, seems really into the community aspect of Clans), Tangle (grouchy cartoon trash creature), Patch (tuxedo cat), and Rainfur (concerned about losing territory if the clan forms).

Eventually, Firestar and Scratch make it back to camp where he greats Sandstorm and once again wonders if he’s doing the right thing.

Chapter 24

On the night of the meeting with all the rogues and kittypets, Firestar sees a half moon and wonders if it could be a bad omen for their attempt to rebuild SkyClan. He still has his doubts about how possible a task that is, but is bolstered by Sandstorm and Sky’s support. More of the other cats show up to the meeting than Firestar expects. Sky encourages him to act as a leader in this moment--something Firestar is very wary of, since he fears ever being able to return to ThunderClan. In the meantime, he carefully explains to the other cats what being part of SkyClan means: following the warrior code and building a community where everyone is cared for. He also tries to explain what StarClan is when asked by Leaf, to some confusion.

Sky speaks next, and the other cats already regard him with more respect because of his knowledge of SkyClan. Firestar makes sure to state that joining SkyClan is everyone’s own decision and that they won’t be forced. Cherry, Boris, Scratch, Clover and her kits, Leaf, and Patch all decide to join while the others decline for various reasons. Sky leads the new clan cats in a proud chant at the end of the meeting. Firestar is astounded that SkyClan has so many new members, but the mysterious hostile presence he keeps sensing still haunts him.

Chapter 25

The next day, Sandstorm and Firestar decide that the new task is to set up the gorge properly as a home for SkyClan. When the new cats return, he and Sandstorm split them into two hunting patrols. Firestar’s group patrols near a Twoleg barn and can’t find much prey, so he teaches them hunting techniques instead and everyone does well. After some fumbling, they all have a successful hunt, though Firestar still feels uneasy with the strange hostile presence he continues to sense. They return to the gorge to find Sandstorm and Scratch fighting about whether elders and nursing queens (namely Clover) or warriors should eat from the freshkill pile first. Scratch argues that warriors need strength more, but Firestar says it isn’t about practicality but honor and respect for elders and queens. While the fight ends, Firestar still worries about future arguments.

Later, Firestar calls the new SkyClan cats together for their collective naming ceremony. Cherry (now Cherrypaw) and Boris (now Sparrowpaw) are also apprenticed to the newly-named Sparpclaw and Leafdapple. Finally, at the end of the ceremony, Firestar honors Sky with the warrior name of Skywatcher for his dedication to preserving SkyClan’s history. Skywatcher is happy, but quietly asks Firestar to talk to him that night in his den. When Firestar does go to Skywatcher’s den, Skywatcher asks about his loyalty to ThunderClan before giving Firestar a prophecy: that three of his kin’s kin will hold the power of the stars in their paws. He asks Firestar to remember him as he says goodbye. Firestar returns to the Rockpile in confusion and worry, hoping to StarClan that his clan will be kept safe in the future from whatever the prophecy holds.

#summary #firestar's quest EP

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Episode 61: Chapters 20-22

Chapter 20

When Firestar and Sandstorm return to the cave, they're disappointed to find that Sky is not waiting. However, Sky soon returns with moss for them and offers to show them where to find it. They both agree, hoping he will open up more about SkyClan. The three cats explore a cave full of the moss, which is a special glowing variety that was sacred to SkyClan's medicine cats. Sky then shows them around what used to by SkyClan's territory, describing old memories of his own youth and what his mother told him about clan life. He is sad and bitter when he describes the scattering of the clan, which happened before the encroachment of Twolegs, and his own brother (Twig) leaving to become a kittypet.

Throughout the day, Firestar becomes increasingly distressed and frustrated by Sky's descriptions, which feel disjointed and disconnected from what he views as "real" clan life. He doesn't know how to help SkyClan and is ready to give up. Sandstorm disagrees, expressing her sympathy for Sky and her commitment to helping him. After visiting an unsettling metal Twoleg structure, they all return to the cave in the gorge. Firestar thanks Sky and tells him he and Sandstorm will be leaving soon, but Sky firmly objects, reiterating Firestar's promise to help rebuild SkyClan and citing his dream from Cloudstar as a sign.

Chapter 21

Sky leaves after saying this. Sandstorm thinks that they should help him, but Firestar is overwhelmed and decides to go hunting to clear his head. While hunting, he thinks about whether helping SkyClan or going home to help his own clan should take priority. He sees the other orange tomcat he met previously, but heignores his greeting. Later on, he feels like he is being watched by a strange and malevolent presence.

When Firestar finds some prey, he is interrupted by the loud and obvious rustling of Cherry and Boris, who are spying on him out of curiosity. He decides to show them how a real warrior hunts, which impresses them hugely. He decides to give them a little hunting tutorial while also giving them some explanation of the warrior code. During this, he makes a special note of Cherry and Boris’s incredible jumping abilities, most certainly because they’re SkyClan descendents. He decides to put off explaining about SkyClan for now and leaves them to their fresh kill.

Firestar returns to the cave and tells Sandstorm about his meeting with Cherry and Boris. They discuss the possibilities of rebuilding SkyClan, starting with the two kittypets--Firestar expresses his doubts with the whole endeavor, worried about the warrior code and the time it will take to accomplish this, while Sandstorm remains steady and optimistic. They decide to talk about it more tomorrow.

Chapter 22

Firestar is rudely awoken by Cherry and Boris, who have returned in hope of another hunting lesson. Both of the young cats are very excited, and Firestar agrees to take Cherry out on a lesson while Sandstorm takes Boris. He heads in a new direction, trying to avoid the spot where he felt the ominous presence before. On the way, he hurts his paws and notices Cherry has EXTREMELY tough paw pads, like a true Skyclan warrior. Firestar then decides to tell Cherry all he knows about Skyclan, who are her ancestors. 

Cherry is very excited and impressed by this story, but also seems apprehensive when Firestar tells her that she could join and help rebuild the Clan. He proposes that she thinks on the decision, and make up her own mind about it. They return to camp and meet up with the other pair. Both Boris and Cherry discuss the possibility of joining the Clan, with Boris seeming more apprehensive. They eventually both agree to give it a try and rush back home. Sandstorm wrly notes they now have the first two apprentices.

The two then head off again to explore more of SkyClan territory. As they are walking, they suddenly scent fox and see a small brown she-cat, who is protecting her kits, being menaced by the starving creature. Firestar and Sandstorm immediately jump to her defense, but seem to be losing the fight until the strong orange rogue tom Firestar had briefly seen before joins the fray. With the three of them, they beat the fox. The she-cat introduces herself as Clover and quickly agrees to join Skyclan when she hears it can offer protection. The orange rogue, named Scratch, seems more standoffish, and insists he can handle himself, but is convinced to join the Clan cats when Firestar promises to show him cool fighting moves. All of them head back to the gorge.

Back at the gorge, Firestar and Sandstorm continue to discuss their doubts about the cats they’ve met. Just then, they see that Sky has returned to the gorge. They go out to meet him, and tell him about the cats they've gathered, to which he expresses doubts. Regardless, he is happy Firestar is keeping his promise.

#firestar's quest EP #summary

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Episode 60: Chapters 17-19

Chapter 17

Firestar and Sandstorm hatch their plan to talk to the two rude kittypets, where Sandstorm basically pretends to be the cat living in the cave to lure them closer. The kittypets taunt her from the top of the cliff over the cave and Firestar blocks their exit as he reveals himself to them. The two cats are actually siblings named Boris and Cherry who have been tormenting a strange old cat who they call Moony who comes to the cave every full moon. Neither Boris nor Cherry believe Moony’s stories about the fierce cats who used to live here, but Firestar realizes he must have meant SkyClan. He makes them promise to leave Moony alone and watches Cherry jump a suspiciously high jump as they leave. He and Sandstorm resolve to find Moony and talk to him.

Next, Firestar and Sandstorm begin their search for Moony in the gorge but they are unsuccessful. After they take shelter from a rainstorm, they notice fresh pawprints by the pool and attempt to follow the scent trail. It eventually leads them to a den in the middle of some twisted tree roots. Moony appears suddenly and tells them angrily to leave him alone.

Chapter 18

Moony is an old, jaded cat who will not acquiesce to Firestar and Sandstorm’s requests to speak to him. He is understandably angry and afraid after being tormented by the other cats in the area, so Firestar decides to leave him alone and try talking to him at the full moon, which Moony has been treating like a Gathering. In the meantime, Firestar and Sandstorm share their frustrations about not being able to make their new apartment (a cave) more comfortable (with moss, which they can’t find). While exploring, they see a large orange rogue who rushes away before they can greet him. While hunting near Twolegplace, Firestar encounters an unfriendly rogue she-cat and wonders why all the cats here are so hostile. He doubts whether he will be able to help SkyClan in any real way.

Back at the gorge, Sandstorm and Firestar wait for Moony to appear for the full moon. He makes an impressive jump up to the high outcrop and speaks to the moon about being the last of SkyClan. Firestar and Sandstorm are hesitant to disturb him, but he senses them nearby and speaks to them first--revealing that his name is actually Sky.

Chapter 19

Firestar and Sandstorm finally get to talk to Sky. He explains he was never part of a living Skyclan, although his grandmother was. His mother taught him to live by the warrior code, which seems to have been a lonely experience. Firestar explains that he and Sandstorm are from Thunderclan, guided here by his dream. Sky, very reasonably, reacts with anger at meeting the descendants of the people who exiled his clan but ultimately keeps the peace of the full moon gathering. 

Sky refuses to explain what happened to cause Skyclan to disband, and also shares his suspicions that Cherry and Boris are descendants of Skyclan cats who went to live as kittypets. Sandstorm then goes to hunt for Sky, and all three of them go back to the cave to sleep. Sandstorm and Firestar privately share their amusement about how much Sky reminds them of Yellowfang (old and grumpy). 

After a restless sleep, Sandstorm and Firestar leave to hunt. He very briefly has a moment of clarity where he considers that a life without a Clan would be possible, but quickly is pulled back to all his duties as a leader. When he and Sandstorm finally return to the cave, they find that Sky is gone!

#summary #firestar's quest EP

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Episode 59: Chapters 14-16

Chapter 14

Firestar and Sandstorm continue their journey by following the river, which begins to dwindle as they go on. Firestar dreams of SkyClan one night: of the cats still making their journey but being unsure of the destination, and also of their incredible jumping prowess. As they continue, he and Sandstorm dodge some Twoleg neighborhoods and are even chased by a small Twoleg playing in the water. They slowly begin to regain some of their old rapport, joking together as Sandstorm hunts and Firestar humbly praises her skills. They make it to a waterfall and climb carefully up the rocks to the top, unsure of how SkyClan could survive in the desolate landscape they see around there. However, they also spot some abandoned fresh-kill, meaning that there must be cats, whether rogues or SkyClan, somewhere nearby.

That night, Firestar dreams about SkyClan again: this time, it’s several of the cats in their den organizing various patrols. When he wakes up, Sandstorm has brought him some freshkill and he feels like he is close to finding SkyClan. He starts looking around, finding traces of other cats, but not SkyClan quite yet. Sandstorm suddenly calls out to Firestar to look down into the gorge, saying that the river has vanished.

Chapter 15

Sandstorm and Firestar look down into a dry valley in the gorge where the river has dried up. Since Cloudstar had told Firestar to follow the river, he realizes that they must have missed the place where SkyClan’s camp had been. He and Sandstorm climb back down and head back along the gorge, which seems hot and inhospitable. They see a lizard nearby and are very dismissive of its culinary appeal. Eventually they find a spring where the river begins. Around the gorge are many caves and trails and, remembering his last SkyClan dream, Firestar realizes that they must have made the caves their new home.

As Firestar and Sandstorm drink from the spring, he notices a strange light coming under the water and how spooky the cavemouth is; Sandstorm, meanwhile, notices a pawprint right next to the pool meaning that a cat must be around. They explore the caves, which are all connected to each other via the trails. Firestar recognizes the first cave they explore from his dreams. The caves have traces of living in them, but nothing fresh. They find a rock column with strange horizontal cat scratches on it, but no living SkyClan warriors. They spend of the rest of the day exploring, finding a nursery, a warrior den, and other evidence, but nothing more. There are signs a cat may have been there a month ago, but nothing more recent. Exhausted, they both settle down to rest for the night. Firestar keeps watch, trying to picture a living SkyClan and wondering if he’s too late to find anyone.

Chapter 16

The next morning, Sandstorm and Firestar hear what turns out to be two other cats--kittypets--outside the cave. When he tries to investigate, they throw pebbles down at him and insult him before running away, which makes him very grumpy. He and Sandstorm theorize that the two kittypets must have thought he was a different cat that they knew. Firestar wants to talk to them, even though they are very rude, but is interrupted by the arrival of four Twolegs who want to play in the pool. He and Sandstorm realize that it must have been hard for SkyClan to live here, so much that they might have just left again, because of the Twoleg presence, the scarcity of food and water, and how extreme the environment was. After the Twolegs leave, they find some dusty pawprints and follow them up a trail in the gorge, leading to a dead end in the cliff face. Firestar jumps across to a flat outcrop, convinces Sandstorm to do the same even though it’s very dangerous, and they both realize that it’s the perfect place for a lookout. It’s also very sunny and warm, so they, as two cats, roll around and relax on the rock for a bit. As the evening approaches, he worries about things back home, and the two of them talk about how hard SkyClan must have had it living here--though they did have very good jumping skills to help.

The next day, Firestar is surprised while hunting by a rogue who kill steals his lunch. They’re both rude to each other but Firestar sets the other cat off by asking if no cat ever taught him to hunt. Sandstorm sees this and says they should be talking to local cats, not scaring them off. She also says he can’t expect other cats here to live by the warrior code since they might not know about StarClan at all, which horrifies Firestar. Later on, he and Sandstorm are returning to the cave from hunting when they see the two rude kittypets nearby again. Before Firestar can approach them, they both see that the kittypets have left a rotting stinky mouse by the cave and realize that they must be taunting whatever cats they think live there. Firestar is disgusted, especially since the rogues back home don’t act like this either, and resolves to talk to the two kittypets tomorrow.

#summary #firestar's quest EP

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Episode 58: Chapters 11-13

Chapter 11

Firestar and Sandstorm continue their journey along the river, encountering many setbacks along the way, including everything from barking dogs and what seems to be a park full of Twolegs to his and Sandstorm’s growing marital problems. Firestar keeps thinking that Sandstorm regrets coming with him to find SkyClan and that she will leave at any moment. They maneuver their way past many Twolegs and their nests, eventually finding a mouse-filled abandoned house. While Sandstorm is able to catch their dinner and thinks it will be a good place to rest for the night, Firestar is overwhelmed by his memories of once having lived with Twolegs and his own worries about leaving his clan behind. Against both their better judgements, he insists that they press on through the night.

They pick up their path by the river, but it begins to storm heavily. It’s a miserable journey; Firestar thinks he sees Cloudstar’s face and then Bluestar’s in the sky at some point. The river rises so high that a wave almost washes him and Sandstorm away. Firestar apologizes but Sandstorm is angry at his stubbornness. She also accuses him of wanting her to leave and wishing that she were Spottedleaf instead. Firestar, for some reason, barely protests at this, so Sandstorm understandably storms off. As they continue to argue, lightning strikes a tree and it cuts off their path. Firestar tries to cross the fallen tree over to the other side of the safer-looking river bank and succeeds, but a huge wave almost washes him away. When he looks back for Sandstorm, she is gone.

Chapter 12

Firestar is frantic and tries to find Sandstorm in the storm but is unsuccessful. He knows how easy it would be to miss her in the dark. Full of regret, an exhausted Firestar eventually finds some shelter to sleep. The next morning, Firestar retraces their steps along the river to try and locate Sandstorm. Narrowly dodging some Twolegs and their old old dog, he makes his way back to the abandoned Twoleg nest where Sandstorm had wanted to shelter, but there’s no sign of her. Wracked with guilt, he falls asleep again and dreams of how his life would be if he’d stayed a kittypet. When he wakes up, he barely escapes a fox in the kitchen. The area he is in seems  flooded from the storm, even the Thunderpath. Firestar tries looking for Sandstorm among the Twoleg nests to no avail. When he has to rest again, he dreams of Sandstorm calling for him but being unable to reach her.

During his search, Firestar meets a white kittypet in a garden. He asks the kittypet if he’s seen an orange cat and the kittypet says yes because he’s seen Firestar. After some more fruitless questions, Firestar leaves. He passes through a neighborhood with a lot of garages for monsters, which scares him, and tries to cross a road but is almost run over by a monster. He escapes over a wall but lands in the garbage. Grieving, full of despair and shame, and covered in trash, Firestar pitifully finds some shelter under some trash and has nightmares about losing Sandstorm while being chewed up by a dog.

Chapter 13

Firestar is awoken by two strange cats, named Stick and Cora, who urge him to move from the garbage pile and follow them to a safer spot. Firestar, remembering BloodClan, is fearful these rogue cats will become hostile. However, they instead bring him to water to drink and catch him fresh-kill. After he’s eaten, he asks the two cats if they’ve seen Sandstorm. They haven’t, but that other cats in the area might have and that they’ll turn up sooner or later for Firestar to talk to. Firestar begs Stick and Cora to stay so that the other cats will talk to him. They’re more sympathetic when they see how distressed Firestar is about Sandstorm and agree to stay. The rogue cats all gather and gossip and one cat, Shorty, mentions clawing some young Twolegs who had grabbed a ginger cat who then escaped. Firestar talks to Shorty, who basically confirms that the ginger cat was Sandstorm. Shorty agrees to take him to where he saw Sandstorm, but Cora says that Firestar needs to rest and recover first. 

The next day, Stick feeds a grumpy but compliant Firestar and Shorty then takes him to the garden Sandstorm was in. They pick up and lose her scent a few times, but eventually end up at the garden of a terrifying tortoiseshell girlboss who almost mauls Firestar to death before he is rescued by none other than Sandstorm herself. Sandstorm is still angry and insecure about Firestar’s feelings, but he tries to reassure her how much he cares for her. She states firmly that she had wanted to come and that teamwork is good basically, and Firestar finally starts to come around to her point. They get all sappy and are lightly ribbed by Shorty for it. After Shorty leads them back to the river, they both thank him very sincerely and set off on their journey again.

#summary #firestar's quest EP

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Episode 57: Chapters 8 -10

Chapter 8

In his dream, Firestar speaks to Cloudstar, the ghostly leader of Skyclan. Cloudstar tells him about how SkyClan’s territory was destroyed by the Twolegs and that where Smudge’s house stands is where SkyClan’s camp once was. He dismisses StarClan entirely, saying that they betrayed SkyClan for their inaction when the other clans drove SkyClan out. Cloudstar says that he’s been waiting for someone like Firestar who isn’t connected to the legacy of the other forest clan but is still a warrior so that he can restore SkyClan, who have long been scattered.

When Firestar wakes up, he gives an abridged summary of his dream conversation with Cloudstar about helping SkyClan to Smudge, which reassures Smudge. He bids Smudge and Hattie a hasty goodbye and heads back to the forest. On the way, he meets a ThunderClan patrol consisting of Willowpelt, Thornclaw, Ashfur, and Sootpaw, Willowpelt’s son. Thornclaw speaks briefly to Firestar about taking over as Sootpaw’s mentor for now, since Sootpaw’s original mentor, Longtail, is still recovering from his injury. Even though No one asked Longtail and there is no reason why he couldn’t still be a teacher. Sootpaw smells a badger and they all decide to follow the scent just in case. It takes them to Snakerocks, where they lose the scent up till the point where Firestar sees the badger about to pounce on Sootpaw.

Chapter 9

Firestar warns Sootpaw to move, but he isn’t fast enough to get to him. Willowpelt pushes Sootpaw out of the way, but the badger kills her instantly. They manage to fight the badger off and it runs away to the Thunderpath. Afterward, they carry Willowpelt’s body back to the camp. Firestar tells the shocked clan what happened as they prepare for Willowpelt’s vigil.Firestar is and promises to tell Sandstorm and Graystripe everything else from his time at Smudge’s later.

After Willowpelt’s vigil, the cats say their goodbyes and the elders take her body to be buried. Firestar is wracked with guilt, frustrated at his inability to save her and thinking that, as leader, he should stay and help his clan now, not go and find SkyClan. Cinderpelt tries to comfort Sootpaw and his two siblings. Firestar finally goes to sleep after holding the vigil and has a dream about Silverstream. Silverstream gives him a dream fish for lunch and says that the warrior code sucks, and that rules and doing the right things aren’t always the same things, which convinces him to go help SkyClan.

Firestar later goes to see Longtail about Sootpaw’s mentoring. Longtail seems resigned to how he won’t be able to teach anymore and Firestar is so relieved that he can avoid a difficult conversation with Longtail that he doesn’t even argue or offer any kind of basic reassurance. Later, Firestar tells Cinderpelt, Sandstorm, and Graystripe about why he had a little sleepover at Smudge’s and about his SkyClan dream/destiny. Sandstorm argues, saying that his place is here, but relents when Firestar asks her to come with him. She expresses some of her own insecurities about their relationship, and he kind of sort of reassures her. Firestar also says that Graystripe will be in charge (bizarre, irresponsible) and Cinderpelt will still be able to lead in her capacity as medicine cat while he is gone on his journey.

Chapter 10

Firestar meets with Sandstorm, who has been reviewing herbs with Cinderpelt for the past few days to prepare for the journey. Firestar then prepares to address his clan and his intention to leave. Firestar has lied to them and told him Starclan is sending him on a quest, not the ghosts of Skyclan. Nevertheless, several members of the clan voice their objections to him leaving before Brightheart speaks up for him, putting her faith in Starclan’s wisdom. Firestar feels vaguely guilty, but not that much.

The clan then wishes them goodbye, with Dustpelt taking over as Sorrelpaw’s mentor. The two then set off, but not before Firestar begs Graystripe to come with them to the edge of the forest but Graystripe is responsible for once and says no. They begin to follow the river upstream, and have  a close encounter and almost get caught by a Windclan patrol. Sandstorm argues Firestar should just announce his journey, but he does not want the other clans to know until as late as possible.

As they continue, they have a conversation where Firestar stresses to Sandstorm he does not intend to bring Skyclan back to the forest but rather offer them his help. The two then settle down for the night in some hedges, and are awoken by a dog who chases them up a tree before its Twoleg calls it away. After a while, they cautiously leave and continue their journey. They eventually reach a Thunderpath, but notice the river continues underneath its bridge. They try to cross under the bridge but get very scared by big car noises and run the rest of the way, which cuts up Firestar’s paw. Sandstorm correctly gives him an herb for the soreness. They stop for the night, and Firestar realizes they must still have a long way to go on their journey. 

#summary #firestar's quest EP

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Episode 56: Chapter 5 - Chapter 7

Chapter 5

Bluestar tells Firestar about how the other forest clans forced SkyClan to leave. Firestar is horrified and outraged, but Bluestar chides him, reminding him his duty is to his own clan and that it was probably StarClan's will for them to be banished. Her apathy infuriates Firestar, who argues with her, saying that what happened to SkyClan was cruel. He wants to help SkyClan but doesn't know where to begin. He is too angry to speak further to Bluestar and turns away from her, waking in the darkness of Mothermouth. He finds himself frustrated and seriously questioning his faith in StarClan for lying to him.

It's a long and tiring journey back to camp alone. Firestar is still shaken and his closest friends can tell. He wonders if he can lead with his faith in StarClan disintegrating, but finds strength in his love for the cats in his clan. He talks briefly with Graystripe about a patrol to keep an eye on a loose fox, promises to tell a concerned Sandstorm about what happened on his journey, and speaks to Cinderpelt about his worries for Longtail's recovery and the frustration of his conversation with StarClan. Her reassurances that StarClan will help them only make Firestar feel worse.

Chapter 6

Firestar dreams of following SkyClan through the moorland, witnessing several of their number die along the journey. This is the first time he can see them clearly. Their medicine cat, Fawnstep, begs their leader, the gray and white cat Firestar has seen before, to let her talk to StarClan for guidance. He refuses and says StarClan has failed them and doesn’t exist anymore. Firestar tries to call out to them again to help, but no one hears him.

Firestar awakens in his den and thinks he sees his actual domestic partner Sandstorm, but it is actually Spottedleaf. She reveals that she never knew about SkyClan until she joined StarClan. When Firestar asks her how StarClan could lie to him and allow SkyClan to be driven out, she only says StarClan can’t control everything. She does agree that the SkyClan leader believes Firestar can help SkyClan. After some more vague responses, Firestar goes to sleep again.

The next morning, Firestar and Graystripe organize the morning patrols. Firestar heads off with Cloudtail and Thornclaw, wondering about SkyClan’s territory and theorizing that it may have even been where his old Twoleg home is now. As he is about to catch a mouse, he spots a white blur and, thinking it’s Cloudtail, is about to chew out his own nephew for kill stealing--but it turns out to be the SkyClan leader instead. The other leader says nothing, but Firestar then hears the sounds of violence--his warriors fighting! He follows the noise and sees Ashfur and Brambleclaw attacking a black and white kittypet intruder--who turns out to be his old friend, Smudge!

Firestar tells the other warriors to leave Smudge alone and continue their patrol. Smudge explains that he’s been having strange dreams about wailing cats and a gray and white cat. He says he thinks he might have to join the forest like Firestar had because Firestar also had strange dreams before leaving his Twolegs, though Smudge is less enthusiastic about the idea. Firestar is alarmed at what the dreams might mean, but doesn’t know how to explain to Smudge. He just tries to reassure him that he won’t have to leave his home and offers to escort him back safely. At the old Twolegplace, they meet Hattie, a kittypet now living with Firestar’s old Twolegs. She tells him about the Twolegs digging up an old bush, which intrigues Firestar with its oldness--maybe old enough to have been here when SkyClan was still around!

Chapter 7

Looking at the Twoleg nests, Firestar wonders if they’ve been built over the old SkyClan territory and asks Smudge if he can stay over for the night. Smudge agrees, though Firestar wants to stay out in the garden, not in the house. He goes to tell his warriors that Graystripe is in charge while he’s gone. When he returns, Hattie asks if he wants to see his own old Twoleg home, where he used to live. Firestar is still curious and agrees to go with her to see the garden. As they reminisce about parts inside it, she asks why he ever left. Before he can answer, he sees his old Twolegs with their own child and runs away to hide, worried they’ll recognize him even now.

He meets up with Smudge in Smudge’s garden, who talks with him a little before Smudge goes inside for dinner. As he curls up to sleep, thinking about how strange it is to be near his old Twoleg nest, he waits for SkyClan to visit him in his dreams. Finally, the gray and white cat appears and speaks to him, telling Firestar that he’s been waiting for him.

#summary #firestar's quest EP

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Episode 55: Firestar’s Quest Prologue-Chapter 4

Prologue

Set presumably a long time before Firestar’s time, the forest clan cats converge at a Gathering at Fourtrees. Redstar (ThunderClan), Birchstar (RiverClan), Swiftstar (WindClan), and Dawnstar (ShadowClan) all wonder where the last, fifth clan is–SkyClan. As Swiftstar starts to get impatient, Cloudstar, the SkyClan leader, arrives with his entire clan in tow. He reveals to the other clans that Twolegs have completely destroyed their territory. He asks if the other leaders will give SkyClan any of their territory for refuge and they all say no.

Cloudstar argues that StarClan always meant for there to be five clans in the forest, but the other leaders cite reasons that SkyClan could never survive in their territories, including that maybe it was StarClan’s will for them to leave. A few other cats disagree, including the WindClan medicine cat, Larkwing. As the cats get ready to fight, Cloudstar holds his clan back and says they will leave the forest. His mate Birdflight decides to stay behind because their two kits are too young to leave, so they say goodbye. The ThunderClan medicine cat, Kestrelwing, promises Birdflight and the kits will be safe with his clan. Cloudstar takes SkyClan and leaves, openly forsaking StarClan for allowing their home to be destroyed and for the other cats to drive them out.

Chapter 1

Firestar is patrolling at night in ThunderClan and reminiscing about the past few months following the defeat of BloodClan. He has become more confident as a leader and all the clans are prospering. Suddenly, he is attacked by a fearsome dark tabby–who is of course his apprentice Bramblepaw. Bramblepaw is taking his warrior assessment and greatly impresses Firestar. They talk briefly about whether his sister, Tawnypaw, will also be a warrior soon in ShadowClan. Firestar thinks about how Bramblepaw looks Tigerstar but not evil, though he still has to remind himself that Bramblepaw is not evil. Bramblepaw, meanwhile, is super excited about becoming a warrior and bounces around like a little baby. After Firestar sends Bramblepaw to get some rest before his vigil tomorrow, he sees a strange gray and white cat by the ravine. At first, he wonders if it’s Whitestorm’s ghost. The other cat vanishes as soon as he tries to get closer, leaving only a faint unfamiliar scent.

Chapter 2

Firestar waits for the strange cat to return, but goes back to camp to sleep when it doesn’t. In his dreams, he wonders where the beautiful and good-smelling Spottedleaf is because she visits him all the time I guess, but instead he sees a desolate moorland and hears the wailing of many frightened cats. His actual mate, Sandstorm, is there when he wakes up and gives him breakfast (a vole). Graystripe also gives him some patrol reports, but has nothing unusual to tell him. Firestar keeps his dream and the vision of the strange cat to himself.

Before Bramblepaw’s warrior ceremony, we get a quick rundown of pretty much every cat in ThunderClan, including some new kits (Spiderkit and Shrewkit), whose parents are Dustpelt and Ferncloud. Bramblepaw emerges, looking very serious, excited, and nervous. Firestar gives him the name of Brambleclaw, speaking proudly about his loyalty, which clearly means the world to Brambleclaw. As the clan celebrates, Firestar sees the face of the strange cat in a puddle and tries to speak to it before the kits splash in it.

As Brambleclaw holds his vigil that night, Firestar finds himself unable to sleep without seeing and hearing the wailing of the cats from his dreams. He asks Sandstorm to walk with him, though even her company doesn’t help much. They end up at the river between ThunderClan and RiverClan and Firestar sees not rocks, but the faces of drowning cats in the water before the vision disappears.

Chapter 3

After another bad night’s sleep, Firestar relieves Brambleclaw of his vigil and goes to talk to Cinderpelt, who is advising Brightheart on her neonatal care. After some interruptions by Sorrelpaw, Firestar finally gets to tell her about his strange dreams, but characteristically omits the fact he’s also been seeing visions while he’s awake. Cinderpelt is not sure what to make of it, and offers to give him medicine to help him sleep. Firestar refuses, saying he wants to find an explanation for this. 

The next day, after more unhelpful dreams, the hunting patrol rushes back to camp with an injured Longtail. Longtail was scratched by a rabbit and seems temporarily blinded, and is brought to Cinderpelt for treatment. Firestar has Cloudtail’s apprentice, Rainpaw, assigned to help Cinderpelt. There’s some weird stuff about Longtail potentially being blinded permanently, unsurprisingly. 

Later that night, Firestar can’t sleep and goes to check on Cinderpelt and Longtail again. Cinderpelt is sitting and monitoring Longtail closely, who appears to have an infection from the scratches. Cinderpelt advises him to go back to sleep, which he does. The next morning, the roles are reversed as Firestar advises Cinderpelt to eat and sleep after her long vigil. Firestar realizes Cinderpelt is afraid of failing her patient again, like with Silverstream’s death.

At the next gathering, Brambleclaw is excited to finally attend as a warrior. Brambleclaw finds out about his sister, Tawnypelt. has also become a warrior. They congratulate each other. Many other cats meet up with each other, including Sandstorm and Mistyfoot who have become friends. Blackstar speaks first at the gathering, announcing Tawnypelt’s new warrior name, to which some Shadowclan cats seem displeased with. He also reports that Twolegs appear to be riding ATV’s through Shadowclan territory, but it’s fine, actually. Tallstar then announces that Windclan drove a fox off their territory, and is like “lol it’s your problem now Riverclan.” Leopardstar then shares that the river is running lower than usual. Brambleclaw gets his shoutout, and the gathering draws to a peaceful close.

Chapter 4

As the Gathering ends, Firestar sees a ghostly vision of starry cats that no other cat can see. Firestar decides to visit Moonstone to ask Starclan for an explanation, and leaves Graystripe and Sandstorm in charge of the camp. Firestar travels across the moor with Windclan, including Onewhisker, before stopping at Barley and Ravenpaw’s farm.The two greet him warmly and offer him food (he refuses) and a spot to nap until later in the day. 

Firestar decides to tell Ravenpaw about what he has been seeing, feeling comfort in the fact Ravenpaw views him as a friend rather than a leader. Ravenpaw listens, but has no answers. Firestar then sleeps until sunhigh, where he once again continues his journey to Moonstone. As he touches Moonstone, he is whisked away into a dream. Bluestar meets him at Fourtrees, and seems troubled. She warns Firestar that he may not want to hear the explanation, but Firestar insists he needs answers. She then reveals to him that the forest once had FIVE! clans, and the ghostly visitors were from Skyclan. 

#summary #firestar's quest EP

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Ep 29 Transcript: Littlerat and Fuckedupwhisker

Episode 29

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone. Welcome back to Stairway to StarClan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we read– what the heck was it? Chapter 7 through 10. It's been a hot minute since we actually read these. Oh my gosh, the drama. 

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: Any reactions before the summaries?

JULIAN: This feels like a Days of Our Lives episode.

PAZ: Yeah, especially chapter 10.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Well, we will find out what shocking interpersonal drama has gone down. I will do the summaries. So chapter seven, Fireheart continues to worry about Bluestar, though she seems to be slightly more alert. She tells him who will be going to the gathering and Fireheart notices she's left out Darkstripe, Longtail, and Dustpelt. He also sees Bramblekit watching him and tries to remind himself that the clan, not Tigerclaw, will be raising him. Fireheart also hopes to see Graystripe at the gathering. Mousefur asks Bluestar if she's going to mention WindClan stopping her from journeying to the Moonstone. But Bluestar says no, which the other cats seem uncertain about. 

On the way there, Sandstorm expresses her own worries to Fireheart about Bluestar's distant behavior. But both she and Fireheart try to be optimistic about Bluestar recovering. At the gathering, there is some talk about the rogue cats, and Fireheart sees Mudclaw, one of the WindClan cats who blocked their journey to the Moonstone. However, he also locks eyes with a sympathetic Onewhisker. 

The ShadowClan cats seem mysteriously ill, their leader Nightstar in particular. Fireheart talks to Leopardfur, the RiverClan deputy, about how Graystripe is adjusting to RiverClan, as well as Fireheart being the new ThunderClan deputy. Bluestar announces that Brokenstar is dead and that Fireheart has replaced Tigerclaw as the ThunderClan deputy, but refuses to give the other clans any details. 

Chapter eight. Sandstorm and a ThunderClan patrol find two sickly ShadowClan cats, Littlecloud and Whitethroat, asleep in ThunderClan territory. Fireheart recognizes Littlecloud from meeting at a gathering when he was younger. All the cats are suspicious, most of all Bluestar. The two cats beg for help, saying that ShadowClan is sick, but Yellowfang says to refuse them, because she has seen this disease before, and that it has killed many ShadowClan cats last time. Bluestar commands Fireheart to send the cats away, though Cinderpelt pleads to help them herself. Sandstorm and Fireheart escort the two cats to the border, and Fireheart catches a mouse for them, feeling guilty. They follow the two cats when they see them going away from ShadowClan territory, and watch in disbelief as they eventually disappear into what looks like a hole in the Thunderpath. 

Chapter nine. The hole under the Thunderpath turns out to be an entrance to a tunnel, and Fireheart and Sandstorm figure out that it must be a secret path that ShadowClan uses to get to Fourtrees. They don't follow the ShadowClan cats further and head back to cam, and Sandstorm excitedly says they should tell Bluestar about it. Fireheart does tell Bluestar, but instead of being pleased, she gets angry and says they shouldn't follow it and risk antagonizing ShadowClan, though Fireheart says they seem too sick to do anything anyway. She also tells him to keep it a secret. 

Afterwards, Fireheart looks for Cloudpaw to take him hunting and sees him dozing in the sunshine. Sandstorm remarks that he looks more well fed than any other Clan cat, which makes Fireheart suspicious. During his and Cloudpaw's outing, he tries to train Cloudpaw on battle moves. While Cloudpaw does start to try harder, he also jokes around. Instead of getting angry again, Fireheart remembers Whitestorm's advice about being patient and decides to hunt with Cloudpaw next. Cloudpaw hunts badly and seems embarrassed, so he promises to find some freshkill on his own to bring back. Fireheart follows him and gets a sinking feeling when he runs all the way back to Twolegplace, jumps the fence, and lets out a sad little wail.

Chapter 10. Fireheart sees a Twoleg come out to feed Cloudpaw and feels immensely disappointed and shocked. Gasp. He tries to go back to camp but meets Princess before he can leave. She tells him how she misses both him and Cloudpaw and how neither of them has visited in so long. She also asks about how Cloudpaw's life in the clan is going, which makes Fireheart feel guilty. But he tries to say that Cloudpaw has a lot of potential.

JULIAN: [snort]

PAZ: Back at camp, Fireheart talks to Sandstorm about what he's learned, and she simply says that only Cloudpaw can choose which life he wants: the life of a warrior or that of a kittypet. He later tries to talk to Cloudpaw about this and the warrior code when Cloudpaw returns, but they argue again instead. Fireheart helps Cinderpelt carry some herbs as her leg is aching. Willowpelt has her kits, which makes Fireheart think of both Graystripe's kits and Tigerclaw's son.

LIZ: [laughs] 

PAZ: Dustpelt makes a nasty comment about Cloudpaw bringing in the smallest freshkill, but Sandstorm chews him out for it. The next day Fireheart organizes the morning patrol, still thinking sadly about Graystripe. While out he sees the two ShadowClan cats in ThunderClan territory again and tells them to leave, but a voice calls out behind him and tells him to stop. And that is the end of our readings this week.

LIZ: I found a picture of Cloudpaw. 

PAZ: Okay. [laughs]

LIZ: I'll put it in.

JULIAN: Awwwww.

PAZ: Liz has posted a very, very, very, very round kitten. 

JULIAN: Just a baby. 

PAZ: Just like an orb. That's right.

JULIAN: You know, as much of like a shocking reveal as this is meant to be, I'm like, fucking good for Cloudpaw.

PAZ: Okay, yeah, we will um–

LIZ: He's doing the right thing.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't know if we should talk about this when we get to their argument scene or just now, but Cloudpaw makes some points is what I'm saying. But where do we want to start?

JULIAN: Yeah, we should start at the beginning. 

PAZ: All right. Let me pull it on up.

JULIAN: We do start the chapter with Fireheart getting kind of good at logistics, which is very sweet. 

PAZ: I'm glad he's doing a little better.

JULIAN: The whole moment where Bluestar like, waits until the last minute to tell Fireheart who's going to the gathering is great.

PAZ: Yeah, wasn't it framed like she was acting like she already told him? 

LIZ: Yeah. 

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: I think it's like another like Bluestar has memory issues scene.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's like specifically his line is "she listed the names out so easily that Fireheart wondered if perhaps she'd already told him and he'd forgotten." It's like, uh-oh.

PAZ: I don't think it's you that forgot, Fireheart.

LIZ: It's rough. It's also like, he's becoming more and more of a proxy for her, which is...

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Oof. It's painful. 

PAZ: And enough so that we get like other cats, like Sandstorm kind of commenting on Bluestar like this chapter.

JULIAN: Yeah, he spends a lot of it kind of covering for her.

LIZ: It's really sad.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: When will my mom be the girlboss she used to be?

JULIAN: I mean, she's got gaslight down.

PAZ: Still has that under her belt.

LIZ: Does it count if she's not doing it on purpose?

JULIAN: No, I don't think it does.

PAZ: Yeah, and as she continues to cause problems, I think by excluding the Tigerclaw posse from the whole gathering. 

JULIAN: Oh god.

PAZ: I'm sure it'll all be fine. 

LIZ: Yeah

PAZ: That, you know, Bluestar is treating them differently.

JULIAN: Yeah, this definitely isn't gonna be another– nothing bad happens when you split up your clan.

PAZ: No. Bluestar has taught us this lesson well. Then there is that convo with Sandstorm. Sandstorm definitely swooping in to replace Graystripe here in many ways, both her role as character Fireheart talks to in the story, and also I'm sure romantic as well.

LIZ: Yeah, she seems to be a little more just interested in things that are happening, which is great.

PAZ: Yeah. Okay. I think there's a point– I don't remember what chapter and where it is. I think it's like after the Cloudpaw stuff– where Fireheart's like, Oh, I wish I could talk to Graystripe. He always had some great advice.

LIZ: Did he? 

PAZ: And I was like, I think he had– 

JULIAN: When?

PAZ: -none advice. 

JULIAN: Literally never. 

PAZ: Every time you tried to talk to him about your problems, he'd be like, leave me out of it, or I'm going to go disappear to visit my girlfriend. Fireheart, you're too clouded by love.

JULIAN: His grief. He has missing Graystripe goggles.

LIZ: He does. 

PAZ: He mentions missing Graystripe so many times. 

LIZ: You love to see it. And that's as much as Graystripe as we're trying to see for now.

PAZ: The specter of Graystripe. 

JULIAN: Um, let's see.

PAZ: It's the gathering then.

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Speaking of romance.

JULIAN: Pew pew pew pew.

PAZ: Ring the alarms. It's time for Onewhisker/Fireheart watch.

LIZ: Yes!

PAZ: It's happened again. 

LIZ: Oneheart is back.

PAZ: That's right.

LIZ: Or Firewhisker.

JULIAN: No, I like Oneheart. Oneheart's real good.

PAZ: Yeah, Oneheart sounds like some shonen shit.

JULIAN: Two warriors, one heart.

PAZ: Yeah, it's Mudclaw, the guy who stopped them going to Moonstone, is standing there looking, giving Fireheart a pissy look. And you know, Onewhisker is next to him. Fireheart's thinking about how they became close friends on the journey back from exile. And Onewhisker blinks at him sympathetically. 

JULIAN: [sighs] The slow blink!

PAZ: Just across the clearing. Yeah. 

LIZ: God. 

JULIAN: That's so good. 

PAZ: That's just like a little cat kiss.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah. That's love. That's what that means.

LIZ: I'm showing that I still trust you. This is how I won your cat Loo's trust, Paz. Just everyday a slow blink.

PAZ: Yeah, despite it all, Onewhisker stands by him. 

LIZ: Mudclaw does the just like the Regency novel gossip thing, or he tries.

JULIAN: Mudclaw is Caroline from Pride and Prejudice here.

LIZ: Yes.

PAZ: Yeah, that's right. So is Fireheart Mr. Darcy here? What are we constructing? 

JULIAN: Uhh, I did not think this through.

PAZ: I can do that.

LIZ: No, I don't think either of them is– mm. Maybe one of them–

JULIAN: They're a real Jane/Bingley couple.

Yeah, yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah. Oh, god, you're right. Yeah. Well, solved that one.

LIZ: That was easy. 

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, after that incredibly romantic scene, we go talk to Leopardfur. 

LIZ: She is so fun. 

JULIAN: I love her. 

PAZ: She's just like real alpha mean girl energy.

JULIAN: Warriors continuing the trend of like, bitchy women. 

PAZ: I love it.

LIZ: I love it. 

JULIAN: Which I love. Is it a good trope? Ehh. Is it a fun trope? Yes.

LIZ: Would you say she's um, she's a little catty?

PAZ: [deadpan] Ha ha ha. 

JULIAN: Ohhh. 

LIZ: [cackles] 

PAZ: Got em.

LIZ: You're welcome.

PAZ: A little catty, and I think maybe also a lesbian. There's a scene with Mousefur, the ThunderClan shecat. And you know, there was energies.

JULIAN: I didn't pick up on this.

LIZ: Oh my god, they're fur for fur. Leopardmouse. Wait, what's that thing that they used to say, that was in Twilight, which I did not have the chance to read as a small teen? It's like when the thing fell in love with the thing? 

PAZ: The lion.

JULIAN: When the lion fell in love with the lamb?

LIZ: Uh huh. When the leopard fell in love with the mouse.

PAZ: Fuck yeah. Leopardfur is being mean girl at Fireheart, and Mousefur just strolls on in and is like, hey, remember when Fireheart saved your children from the flood? And Leopardfur gets all like, embarrassed, basically. And then Mousefur is like, don't worry. You'll find her less intimidating when you get used to her. 

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: Extremely good.

PAZ: Good for them. Now there's a ThunderClan/RiverClan romance I can get behind. Back to the gathering. ShadowClan: sick. Nasty.

JULIAN: Real sick. 

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: I guess like, you know, content warning for plague here. 

PAZ: Kind of, you know, I couldn't name any plot points that happen in this book. I wasn't expecting plague. 

LIZ: Yeah, what?

JULIAN: I did not remember this at all. 

PAZ: My horrible trash rat plague.

LIZ: How'd they get sick again?

JULIAN: Well, I think we get into a little bit. But who could have foreseen that the cats that eat garbage would get sick a lot?

PAZ: Maybe these cats shouldn't eat garbage. Maybe the clans should share their resources so nobody has to eat garbage and get rat disease.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: This is– we were reading Tallstar's Revenge for Patreon, and there was also rat disease kind of happening. 

LIZ: They've been eating garbage for generations.

PAZ: Well, yeah, there's that, but also you have Tallstar, you know, has a little run in with some rat. This is just a rat season in Warriors, I guess.

LIZ: Noo. 

PAZ: I am looking right at the line where Fireheart is like, "well, it's furball season. Maybe that's why they're coughing."

JULIAN: Oh, my sweet, beautiful himbo.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: His little walnut brain, it's working so hard.

JULIAN: He just– he can't believe. Well, they couldn't come to the gathering while they were sick. No one would do that.

PAZ: Is ShadowClan antimask? 

LIZ: No. 

PAZ: Oh, no.

JULIAN: Noooooo. 

PAZ: They're so evil. That's why.

LIZ: Fireheart's so optimistic. Of course they got vaccinated.

JULIAN: The two guys who come to the camp later like [whispering] no, I do want the vaccine.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Oh, God. Shots, shots, shots, please.

PAZ: Yeah, then Yellowfang, it's too late.

LIZ: Damn, Yellowfang, that's harsh.

PAZ: Oh, gosh.

JULIAN: There is a little moment in the gathering, aside from the illness, that I do want to call out. When Fireheart realizes that Graystripe isn't at the gathering, his tail droops with disappointment.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Fireheart, he's not worth it.

JULIAN: He's not. 

PAZ: Dump him. Dump him emotionally. You weren't together, but you gotta let go. Yeah, that's why he goes to talk to Leopardfur like, in the first place. He's like, please tell me about Graystripe.

LIZ: It's so funny because she knows exactly what he's gonna ask for.

JULIAN: Also, so Nightstar was an elder when he became leader. 

PAZ: I didn't know that.

JULIAN: Which is like, aw, damn.

PAZ: I guess that's how US presidents work so, fucking sure. Checks out. 

LIZ: It seems that ShadowClan's leaders so far are just evil. Very old. Very old. Evil. Very old.

PAZ: Very old, yeah. 

LIZ: When they have a very old evil man, just you Wait.

PAZ: I would love that. I want a very old evil cat please, especially if it's a shecat. 

JULIAN: Ah, yeah.

LIZ: Evil GILF.

PAZ: I'm demanding more unhinged woman. I know there are unhinged women later in Warriors, but I want them right now. Do you expect me to wait? I don't think so.

LIZ: I want an unhinged octogenarian.

PAZ: That's right.

JULIAN: Staircast taking a strong stance in favor of evil old ladies.

PAZ: What's better than an evil old lady? Nothing. 

JULIAN: Nothing. 

PAZ: Nothing. 

LIZ: Two evil old ladies. 

PAZ: But there are– oh, you're so right.

JULIAN: Two evil old ladies who kiss. 

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: You've got it. You've got it. So, I guess in this universe it's blinking  across from each other. 

PAZ: Yeah, that's right. 

LIZ: From across like, their meeting table, which is a log.

PAZ: They like twine their tails together after they stand in a pool of blood, you know? 

LIZ: Oh, yeah, yeah. In a heart. 

PAZ: Yeah, exactly. 

JULIAN: Perfect. 

PAZ: Sadly, there aren't any evil old octogenarians in this book so far.

LIZ: Tapping my watch..

PAZ: There is evil Tigerclaw, and everyone in the gathering wants to know what happened to him. Bluestar won't tell. I don't know if that was a good or bad decision.

JULIAN: Yeah, I gotta say, I don't think her strategy of just don't tell them and eventually they'll stop wanting to find out is a great one, given that last time she kept a big secret secret everyone got really pissed at her because one of the apprentices told.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: And also it changed the complete landscape of all the allegiances.

PAZ: Yeah, like, in the blink of an eye. I think Fireheart has the thought, like, shouldn't we tell them because Tigerclaw's dangerous, ;ike as a courtesy? Yes. That's right, Fireheart.

JULIAN: Bluestar doesn't give a shit. 

PAZ: No, apparently not.

LIZ: Imagine if the vice president just disappeared. And then like everyone goes to the fucking like, UN meeting or whatever. And everyone's like, where is he? And the president  is just like, shit, I don't know. None of your business.

JULIAN: Don't fucking worry about it.

LIZ: Why do you want to know? 

JULIAN: Not your problem.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Nosy.

PAZ: And also our new vice president is this college graduate. Poor Fireheart.

JULIAN: Up and coming young intern.

PAZ: Yeah, he has to get announced at the gathering and everyone like turns and stares at him. 

LIZ: It's so awkward. 

PAZ: Anxiety nightmare. I'm sorry, Fireheart.

LIZ: If this was like, another cat, another omre anxious cat, they would have just combusted. But it's Fireheart who's just like, oh, gosh, oh, no.

JULIAN: He just gets a little flustered. And then he's okay.

LIZ: Yeah, he's robust.

PAZ: Yeah, when I was reading these chapters, it does like a skip after that scene in the next chapter. And I was like, is there like a chapter missing? 

JULIAN: It's a very jarring skip.

PAZ: Yeah, we didn't get to see the juicy reactions.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Which, I was desperate for them. 

LIZ: I thought it was gonna happen.

JULIAN: I wanted to see the reaction shot. Instead we just get a shot.

PAZ: Yeah, and then hard cut.

LIZ: Well yeah, the reaction shot is like, what? He's just, I don't know, 20. What kind of experience does he has? I was a Tigerclaw fan. And then like, but of course, it doesn't matter because across the field of naysayers, Fireheart once again locks eyes with Onewhisker.

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yep. 

LIZ: He's like, I believe in you, but he says it with his eyes. They're an arresting pair of eyes.

JULIAN: Perfect. 

PAZ: In Warriors Regency romance, it's about the eyes. The eye blinks, not the hand touches.

JULIAN: The eye blinks and the tail twines.

PAZ: That's right.

JULIAN: God, these fucking ShadowClan warriors that are asleep. They're asleep.

PAZ: Oh my god. I feel so bad for them. 

LIZ: I know they're like warriors, but they're younger because they got recruited as babies, which sucks.

JULIAN: Yeah, it really sucks. They're so sick.

PAZ: Yeah, and they're really scared.

LIZ: One of them has the most pitiful name in the world, and the other one has a name that sounds like a slightly less deadly disease. I'm Littlecloud.

PAZ: Littlecloud.

LIZ: [coughs] I'm Whitethroat.

PAZ: I want to scoop Littlecloud up and rescue him.

JULIAN: I can't protect him.

PAZ: I can't.

LIZ: Maybe we can foster these two feral sick kittens.

PAZ: Please.

JULIAN: These gross, rat-eating cats.

PAZ: They need love too.

JULIAN: They do need love.

LIZ: They've got to be tired of that. It's like, sure, warrior code or whatever. But here's some crunchies. Here's some wet food. It's better than rat, isn't it? And I've got you a Temptation.

PAZ: Yeah, they're so sick that when Fireheart tries to give them that mouse, though, they just like, throw it up. It's really sad.

JULIAN: Ugh. It also just like, I understand why Yellowfang is like, No, we can't take them into the clan. Like, that makes sense. But it makes me sad.

PAZ: These cats need to just invent, like, quarantine. You put them in there and you treat them. Issue solved.

JULIAN: I mean, they all live in bushes. That's not exactly impervious. You can't set up vapor barriers.

LIZ: Maybe go just like I don't know, a mile. Well, maybe not a mile.  A mile's a lot for a kitty. But like, a field away at least or something. They haven't really learned anything about helping each other. 

PAZ: Nope. 

JULIAN: No. 

LIZ: There's precedent like, with RiverClan, right? In the last book, they were starving. And sure, only two cats helped them, but Bluestar knew about it eventually.

PAZ: Yeah, well, I think in this scene, Bluestar is described as looking confused. 

JULIAN: Oi. 

PAZ: Yeah. So her decision, probably not fully thought over. 

LIZ: No. 

PAZ: It's still a very harsh decision.

LIZ: Yeah, she's like, full on paranoia now. You see like the sickest, most rat-bitten, raggedy little cats you've ever seen. And she's like, no,  this is so dangerous. They're spies. It's like, the illness part is definitely like second to that reaction.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, her concern is not about the disease vector. 

PAZ: Yeah, that comes from like Yellowfang as the doctor.

LIZ: Do you think their medicine cat is dead?

PAZ: No, no, they said he was staying with Nightstar.

JULIAN: Yeah, he was like, busy tending to Nightstar.

LIZ: Do you think that's just like tending to him in StarClan?

PAZ: I hope not. They only have one medicine cat there.

LIZ: I hope fucking Runningnose has an apprentice. Geez. 

PAZ: I don't think so.

JULIAN: I don't know if Runningnose is long for this world.

LIZ: ShadowClan feels like 10 to 15 cats at most.

JULIAN: Yeah, it seems pretty precarious. 

PAZ: Yeah, their, like, numbers were already decimated, like, in the first book or whatever with Brokenstar. I don't know if they have enough to recover here.

LIZ: Yeah, they got decimated and then like a bunch of like, evil ones left. Were driven out. And then they're probably fine. You know?

PAZ: I would say ShadowClan is like 10 cats at max. That's what it feels like. 

JULIAN: Certainly not 20 to 30. 

PAZ: No.

LIZ: It's like half very old people and half like gangly teens at this point.

PAZ: Oh my god. Yeah.

JULIAN: Ohh. I'm very worried about them.

PAZ: Yeah, me too. They had that horrible omen also.

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

PAZ: Justice for ShadowClan. Why are they– they're really being bullied by the narrative.

JULIAN: Like I know we're supposed to hate them and not mind when bad things happen to them, but they are just little cats, and I do mind when bad things happen to them.

PAZ: I very much mind when bad things happen to them because the two ShadowClan cats in this chapter are so pathetic.

LIZ: Like they have to be deliberately sympathetic, cause they got like, quote unquote "nice names."

PAZ: Yeah, they didn't get fucking like Evil...tail or whatever. 

LIZ: I'm Littlerat. 

PAZ: Shatterclaw. [laughs] Littlerat.

JULIAN: Fuckedupwhisker.

PAZ: Yeah, Littlecloud's actually going to reveal that it was all a ruse and his name is Littlerat in the next chapter. Yeah, they're supposed to be sympathetic cause Fireheart feels bad for them, and he is Mister Protagonist, so obviously. Even Sandstorm feels bad for them.

LIZ: Cinderpelt definitely does.

PAZ: Oh yeah.

LIZ: I think that's a good moment from her. Cause she's feeling super insecure with her like position lately, and I think this kind of adds to that continuing arc like, oh, I'm really helpless to help anyone.

PAZ: Yeah, her arc is shaping up to be like, pretty interesting in this book. And it's definitely like her anxieties about being a good doctor or not. 

JULIAN: My first thought when the ShadowClan cats disappeared into the tunnel was, oh my god, Spaghetti Junction again?!

PAZ: It was, kind of. Like spaghetti noodle, just one tunnel. I guess it makes sense in retrospect that they would have a path under the Thunderpath, because that would be wild if they had to cross that every month to go to the Gathering. That'd be way too dangerous.

LIZ: You think humans made that like for animals to cross like specifically? Because those exist.

JULIAN: Oh, like one of those little wildlife crossings?

PAZ: I don't– I think it's like a tunnel rather than a wildlife corridor. But you know, I think maybe they should build one around here because there's so many fucking feral cats.

JULIAN: I also am kind of unclear on the tunnel's strategic value.

PAZ: Me too.

JULIAN: But everyone else seems to be very convinced of it, so.

PAZ: I guess that if ShadowClan doesn't know that ThunderClan knows it's there, they can sneak up on them through it. I don't know. 

JULIAN: I guess.

LIZ: I guess it's a strategic advantage to not get run over on your way to the Gathering.

PAZ: Yeah, that's true. Yeah, if ThunderClan wanted to invade ShadowClan they would have to cross the Thunderpath So definitely strategic to not have to do that. You'd lose half your warriors before you even made it there.

LIZ: Like, is this location worth it? You're in rat garbage town still.

JULIAN: Ugh. Also, the bit– Yellowfang is like oh, didn't any of the elders tell you not to eat like the bad rats or whatever? And like, one of them is like, oh,  an apprentice brought it back and it was too late. But also like, you know, I wonder– I guess there are a lot of elders.

PAZ: Yeah, I think Liz was right when it's just old people and young people. No one in between.

LIZ: Yeah, I think it was like Brokenstar did his thing and killed all the warriors that opposed him, so the only like full adult warriors that were left probably were just like his crew. And then they got driven out slash killed, and then you got the oldest sickliest elderly cat in the world to be your president. I don't know how old Runningnose is. 

PAZ: I don't think that old.

LIZ: No, he just feels old.

JULIAN: He's old spiritually.

LIZ: He's probably like 30. Maybe 20. It's a toss up.

PAZ: There was some line about like, oh, Night star was already old when he got his nine lives, so I'm like what does that mean? Just gonna die of being old nine times.

JULIAN: He's gonna use all of his lives to get through kidney failure.

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: The nine lives are like StarClan's vaccinations. What's this? You have arthritis? Well, we can't actually do anything about that.

PAZ: Yeah, like the nine lives don't like revitalize you. He's just old for longer.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: I feel like– wasn't there like a forum like thread about this?

PAZ: Yeah, it was an interview with the authors, right, where they answered a question about this?

JULIAN: Yeah, it was one of the Erin Hunters answering a really horrifying question from a child about if a leader got really old and was gonna die of old age, would they speed run losing their lives? Would they like lose one and then come back and lose another?

PAZ: What was the answer? I don't remember.

JULIAN: I don't remember. 

PAZ: I think they said something like, oh, leaders don't usually get old enough for that to happen.

LIZ: Well, sometimes, apparently.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think they did that, which is honestly less horrifying. Like still an upsetting thing to tell this child, but less upsetting than like, this cat is going to die nine times over and over and over again in agony.

LIZ: I guess it's not like video games where you can– I mean, what if you're a very old cat and you die. And you're like, well, I don't want to die eight more times. So I'll just die now, and I'll give these eight extra lives to my successor, who's gonna be the longest lived cat in the world.

PAZ: Oh, I wonder if you can do that. I don't know.

LIZ: Just fucking let them stack at the end. ShadowClan's gonna have a president with like 2700 lives.

PAZ: Oh no. That wouldn't be a problem at all. 

LIZ: No. 

PAZ: Well, is it time to move on to the drama of Cloudpaw? 

JULIAN: Oh boy.

LIZ: Oh boy.

PAZ: He is very round.

JULIAN: He's so round.

LIZ: It's suspicious.

PAZ: These starving wood cats are seeing a cat who is not starving, and they're like, what is going on here? This is too suspicious.

LIZ: I don't like this. This seems wrong. Oh god, there's a bug. Can we stop for a second? Oh, it's moving!

JULIAN: Muffled thumps.

LIZ: So I didn't get it. But it's gone. So that's almost the same thing. Back to Cloudpaw?

JULIAN: Back to Cloudpaw and his treachery.

PAZ: His treachery. We should probably talk about how it is framed, because I'm not sure. I feel like it was creeping up on fatphobia. 

LIZ: Yeah. 

PAZ: Which is weird, because it's just cats. 

LIZ: He's a cat.

PAZ: But yeah, like him being like, well-fed is framed as like, oh, he's out of shape, and obviously not as good at hunting. So there was a weird like, oh, moral failing for eating well.

JULIAN: There's a lot of focus on like, you know, during his hunting. And, you know, it could have been framed as like, oh, he's been at the Twolegplace so he hasn't been paying attention to training or whatever. But instead it's like, oh, he's like, panting and whatever. Not great.

LIZ: And it's followed up by the scene later when like Fireheart follows him, and sees him like really– it spends a lot of time describing how much he's like, quote unquote "struggling" to jump a fence. You don't need to go into detail about like, how his stomach is in the way or whatever. He is a cat. This is very stpid.

PAZ: Yeah, it was just weird framing. And I mean, it's weird because like in the confrontation scene we'll get to later, it's not framed like that. It's more framed like, oh, your like divided loyalties. And I'm like, you could have just been focusing on that the whole time. Just talked about how he looks so healthy, cause this cat isn't starving.

LIZ: Why isn't it like wow, he looks so healthy? And it could be like, I'm suspicious if he's like not bringing the freshkill back, instead of just being like, ooh, he got fat. It's like, fucking. We should be so lucky.

JULIAN: Yeah, it feels like one of the authors was like, you know what would be real funny? Real haha? They were trying to go for that fatphobic comedy. And it just like, ehhh, it sucks.

PAZ: Yeah, it just comes off very mean-spirited.

LIZ: Yeah. It's absurd to begin with because again, this is a starving feral cat.

PAZ: Yeah, you would think they would be happy if like a member of your clan was like eating well.

LIZ: Yeah. But like, especially to have this in a kid's book, it's extra mean-spirited.

JULIAN: Yeah. Also again, I'm sure we'll talk about it, but fucking good for Cloudpaw. 

LIZ: Good for him! He's got it figured out. Oh, am I starving in this horrible, like, death forest? Okay, I'll fucking get some kibble. There we go.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, we can just jump real quick over the confrontation scene, where Cloudpaw's basically like– Fireheart's like, I saw you eating Twoleg food. And Cloudpaw's like, so what? Like, I'm getting my food there and then taking food back to the clan. What's the deal? It's like yeah.

JULIAN: He's right.

LIZ: I guess like the argument that could be made is he's not bringing enough back to the clan. Because everyone or at least some people are making fun of him for like, only bringing back like a bird or something. But like, here's the solution. Hey guys, I figured out this incredible endless supply of food. It is a human.

PAZ: If ThunderClan could get that in winter, the tactical advantage would be huge. They wouldn't be starving like every other clan.

JULIAN: Incredible.

LIZ: Just fuckin like meow a couple of times. There's more than one human like who's definitely going to see a whole bunch of feral cats and be like, oh, this is great. I love this.

PAZ: Yeah, people feed like whole feral cat colonies all the time. There was one in a condo neighborhood that was just being fed like that near me. Easy.

JULIAN: And then once you get them used to coming up with the kibble, you can trap them, neuter them, and then release them..

PAZ: Oh no. ThunderClan decimated.

JULIAN: No, I mean, like, I get that this goes against their whole way of life. However.

PAZ: Have they considered their way of life is wrong?

JULIAN: Cloudkit is right, and they should all be going out and eating kibble.

LIZ: And getting vaccinations at least. Just, please. Now more than ever. There's a plague of cats with some sort of rat sickness right next door.

JULIAN: Can cats get sick from eating rats?

PAZ: Um, I don't know actually. 

LIZ: Maybe poisoned rats. 

PAZ: Yeah, but it seems like a transmittable disease.

JULIAN: Oh, toxoplasmosis.

PAZ: Oh.

LIZ: Oh, rat toxoplasmosis?

JULIAN: Um, yeah.

LIZ: Huh. 

JULIAN: That's one of the– here we go. "Dangers of mice. Toxoplasmosis, intestinal parasites, plague bacteria, hantavirus, rodenticide." I think it's the plague bacteria is my guess.

PAZ: Oh no. ShadowClan has the real plague. Oh my god, it's about to be the fucking Dark Ages here in the forest.

LIZ: Can we please get like that lady who just like rescues feral cats or whatever, on YouTube, and forsters them, and rehomes them? Can she do like that with 100 to 200 feral British cats?

PAZ: The British part's really scary.

JULIAN: Yeah, the symptoms of plague in cats are "lethargy, depression, loss of appetite, vomiting, diarrhea, coughing, muscle soreness, and fever." 

LIZ: No.

PAZ: This sounds about right. Yeah. I think they have the plague.

LIZ: That sucks.

JULIAN: I think they have The plague.

PAZ: Geez. 

LIZ: I'm like holding Kip. You're never gonna get the plague. You're inside. Never fucking eat a single rat. Look at me. He can't. He's asleep.

PAZ: Back to Cloudpaw. 

JULIAN: Back to Cloudpaw. 

PAZ: I want– 

LIZ: Oh, go ahead. 

PAZ: I just wanted to read the last sentence of chapter 9 where the betrayal is revealed. The drama, the heartbreak. Here it is. "Then he froze with horror as he watched Cloudpaw sit down outside the Twoleg nest and let out a shrill, pitiful wail."

LIZ: He's just a little guy.

PAZ: He's just a baby boy.

LIZ: I know exactly what sound he's making.

PAZ: Uh huh.

LIZ: It's that sad little wow you hear whenever you go into the kitchen. That fuckin human in the house is probably just like, oh, it's that weird cat again. Oh, I'm so happy. Hey.

JULIAN: Aw, he came back!

PAZ: He gets petted too, right? 

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: He does. 

PAZ: Gets a little pat.

JULIAN: Fireheart sees this as further evidence of betrayal. And I see this as good. 

LIZ: Good for him. 

JULIAN: Cloudpaw deserves those pets.

LIZ: Yeah, everyone's so mean to him except for like old people.

PAZ: What if this is an old lady? 

LIZ: Yes. 

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Perfect. 

LIZ: This lady's gonna give him the kind of name old ladies give to cats. Like, I don't know, Mr...

PAZ: Sam. 

LIZ: Mr. Sam. 

PAZ: Yeah, Fireheart is just crushed by this, though. Absolute betrayal.

JULIAN: He's so sad and not even mad. He's just disappointed. And then he has to go talk to Princess.

LIZ: It is sad that Cloudpaw hasn't seen his mother. You were there. Go say hi.

JULIAN: Like, will you have to lie to her? Yes, but you know, what's a little lying to your parents? 

LIZ: You seem to have no problem with it. So just go ahead.

PAZ: Yeah, Fireheart does have a thought, which is correct, that Cloudpaw had been given to the Clan before he could choose any of this. So you know, maybe you shouldn't be too harsh on him, Fireheart, because he didn't get  a chance to choose. Which again goes back to Princess's absolutely bonkers decision to do that. Why in the world did she do that? Princess, I doubt your decision-making capabilities.

LIZ: Listen, that little walnut brain runs in the family.

JULIAN: Yeah. She in particular is categorized as pretty stupid.

PAZ: Yeah, she's kind of like an airhead character.

LIZ: I think she probably thought at first, oh, my brother joined a cult. And he's starving. And then like Fireheart turned her around on that.  And it's like, oh, my brother joined a nature commune. And it's great.

PAZ: Well, it's not going great, Princess. Sorry to tell you. 

LIZ: No, it sucks. It sucks.

JULIAN: Yeah, there's plague.

LIZ: Rat plague. It's Dishonored.

PAZ: Oh my god. Cloudpaw's gonna see the fucking plague and be like, Hey, I'm just moving out. Bye.

LIZ: Be like, fuck this. I'm gonna go inside and get crunchies.

PAZ: After the reveal scene, We do get a nice scene with Sandstorm. I liked it a lot. She is– unlike a certain gray cat, She's very good at giving advice.

JULIAN: She's like, really wise throughout these chapters. 

PAZ: she's like Whitestorm. She's just so well adjusted.

JULIAN: Sandstorm, Are you getting secret Cat therapy?

PAZ: Stop hoarding it for yourself.

JULIAN: Yeah, you got to share that with the clan.

PAZ: Yeah, but she's basically– when Fireheart tells her this, she doesn't really like, react negatively at all. She's just kind of like, oh, he's young. Like he's coming to like a point where like, you know, he'll have to decide. It's like, yeah, it's good advice.

LIZ: She does have a history of commenting on this with Cloudpaw specifically, because Fireheart talked to her before about like, how he's not fitting in and stuff. And like, she's kind of seen him like, grow up with this at this point. So it's nice. And I hope they get some scenes together, because so far it's just kind of been like her commenting on him. So it'd be nice.

PAZ: Yeah, I would like if they had scenes together. 

JULIAN: Also Dustpelt's jealousy is so funny. 

PAZ: Oh my god. 

JULIAN: Dustpelt's Jealousy and Fireheart's complete obliviousness.

PAZ: Wait, where is that scene? Maybe worth reading.

LIZ: God, it's so funny.

PAZ: Um, where is it? 

JULIAN: Let's see. 

LIZ: It's um– 

PAZ: It's page 121. I can read it, if we want. 

JULIAN: Yeah, go for it. 

PAZ: "To his surprise, Sandstorm didn't seem troubled. 'He's young,' she reminded Fireheart. 'Don't be too upset. Keep remembering his first catch, and that you share the same blood.' She gave him a gentle lick on the cheek. 'With any luck, it'll show in Cloudpaw one day.' 

Dustpelt trotted up and interrupted them, his eyes glinting with barely disguised scorn. 'You must be proud of your apprentice,' he jeered. 'Darkstripe tells me he made the smallest catch of the day.' Fireheart flinched as the warrior added, 'you're obviously a great mentor.' 

'Go away, Dustpelt,' spat Sandstorm. 'There's no need to be spiteful. It doesn't impress anyone, you know.' 

Fireheart was surprised to see Dustpelt recoil as if Sandstorm had taken a swipe at him. The warrior turned and hurried away, flashing a resentful look at Fireheart over his shoulder. 'That's a neat trick,' Fireheart meowed, impressed by Sandstorm's ferocity. 'You have to teach me how to do it.' 

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work for you,' Sandstorm sighed." Sandstorm said Dustpelt is straight and awful. Sorry, Fireheart.

JULIAN: "I'm afraid it wouldn't work for you" is so funny. 

PAZ: It is so funny.

LIZ: Fireheart voice, wow, I want to reject boys like that.

JULIAN: So far boys have only rejected him.

LIZ: Oh no.

PAZ: It's so good. Dustpelt just got completely owned, too. You love to see it.

LIZ: It's so funny.

JULIAN: I know this is like a fairly common trope in kids books, but I do love when the cool girl character just absolutely cuts the legs out from under the bully.

PAZ: Yeah, it's satisfying. It's a fun trope.

LIZ: I loved it when I was 12, and I love it now.

PAZ: Sometimes you want to partake in a classic trope.

LIZ: Then the stuff about the kits.

JULIAN: Yep, Fireheart has a fuckin like kit phobia moment.

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Where his tail bristles at Bramblekit's smell. 

LIZ: He's a baby.

JULIAN: He doesn't even see Bramblekit. He smells him. And he's like, oh fuck no. I hate this baby.

PAZ: He probably just smells like milk. He's a baby

LIZ: You know, he probably smells like milk, and also looks round and happy, which is the worst thing you can possibly be in this clan.

PAZ: Yeah, apparently.

LIZ: Geez.

PAZ: At least he felt guilty about getting all scared or whatever. 

JULIAN: Yeah, he just had to like rationalize himself out of it. 

PAZ: But by god, he cannot stand the sight or smell or presence of this baby.

JULIAN: I mean, again, what if the baby simply has bad vibes?

LIZ: He's had that thought, but like he's also been called out for it in all the quote retweets. So he has to remind himself not to think it. It's also like, it's extra funny because Bramblekit just seems normal. He's just like a normal baby. He's not like an evil Lucifer baby. He's just like a kitten.

PAZ: He's done like literally nothing.

LIZ: None. 

PAZ: I don't think he's even moved towards Fireheart at all. He certainly hasn't said any words yet. 

LIZ: He's just said like, meow. 

PAZ: I don't think he's even walked yet on screen.

JULIAN: No, like he hasn't done anything good or bad.

PAZ: He's just there. Just sitting there, just a little baby.

JULIAN: Bro, I am just.

PAZ: I think we accidentally skipped over the actual confrontation scene with Cloudpaw. I don't know if we want to talk about that directly.

LIZ: Talk about how much it sucks.

PAZ: Yeah, Fireheart's real mean.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Talk about cult. Yeah, but the confrontation scene is more– like I said earlier, it's over like, loyalty. Because Fireheart's like, you have to know what you're hunting and fighting for.

JULIAN: Yeah, and there's like a very clear– like Cloudpaw's like, I'm fighting for the same thing as you, survival. And Fireheart's like, I don't fight for myself. I fight for the clan. It's just like a very different mentality. 

PAZ: I can't blame Cloudpaw for thinking like, oh, I just have to survive here, because one, it sucks. Two, the clan is very alienating to him. So maybe he doesn't  want to fight for the clan. 

JULIAN: Loyalty is earned, Fireheart.

PAZ: Yeah. And then Cloudpaw is not buying into this warrior code bullshit, really.

LIZ: Probably because every time Fireheart tries to like, tell him about it, he can't really think of anything because it's really vague.

PAZ: The warrior code is just about vibes.

LIZ: Cloudpaw just hates the vibes. They're terrible.

JULIAN: The vibes are– forget Cloudpaw's vibes. The vibes here of the Clan, rancid.

LIZ: Disgusting. 

PAZ: Absolutely. Cloudpaw was also born and grew up in winter, I think, so you know.

JULIAN: Oof. 

PAZ: If he wants to– yeah, when everyone's like starving and dying. So if he wants to get more food, I also can't blame him, because that sucked.

JULIAN: It's also like– I think it's very interesting that he's like, oh, it's about survival, when like you said, he grew up in the middle of winter when  survival was not guaranteed. Like yeah, he's thinking about survival because cats die all the fucking time.

PAZ: Yeah. I mean, I don't know if that is explicit, but I feel like the fact he grew up in winter would certainly influence that. It was a focus of Fire and Ice that everyone was sick and dying, so.

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't know if it's explicit, I just. 

PAZ: It makes sense to me. 

JULIAN: Yeah, I think it's an interesting headcanon.

PAZ: But you know, "Fireheart took a long breath, resisting the urge to chase Cloudpaw out of ThunderClan territory once and for all."

LIZ: Oh my God. 

PAZ: So some mercy there. 

JULIAN: What the fuck is wrong with him?

LIZ: This is your fucking nephew. You brought him here, and then you were so worried. Oh, he's not fitting in. I'm so glad though to have someone I can relate to and care for and stuff. It's like, it's all gone. 

JULIAN: I think this goes back again to Fireheart not having one person that he can talk to at any given time. Which is what made him be like, oh, I have to fucking imprint on my nephew. Because if my nephew doesn't share my beliefs, then I don't have anyone to talk to.

LIZ: You can relate to your nephew. But your nephew is not your peer.

JULIAN: Yeah, he's a child. You have to have–

PAZ: I'm sorry, you– no, go ahead. 

JULIAN: Just like, you have to talk to adults when you want to have adult conversations.

LIZ: And unfortunately, you have to parent this child that you're responsible for.

PAZ: Yeah, Fireheart is only just figuring out this is happening, and it's like, he's your apprentice. Like I don't– you should have been paying more attention to him maybe, and then you would have had a clue. But apparently not. But should we just move on to the last bit of the chapter, which is– 

JULIAN: Dun, dun, dun.

PAZ: Dun, dun, dun. The sick cats, they are still on ThunderClan territory. 

LIZ: Oh no. 

PAZ: The plague, it is here. 

JULIAN: Who could this familiar voice be? 

PAZ: Who would be taking care of them? But they're just sleeping in like some sad little hollow, I think. They're so pathetic.

LIZ: So sad.

JULIAN: I mean, as sad as that is, that doesn't seem that different from like, the warrior nests.

PAZ: No, I guess not.

LIZ: But they have like, less moss and more itchy twigs.

PAZ: Dampness. 

JULIAN: Yeah, I'm sure the dampness can't be good for the fucking plague.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Right before this is Fireheart strongly considering going into RiverClan territory to try and see Graystripe. 

JULIAN: Oh my god. 

PAZ: Which was, I was just like, head in my hands. I'm like, you cannot cause an international incident for your stupid, straight friend.

LIZ: You're the vice president. 

PAZ: Yeah, you can't do that stuff anymore.

LIZ: God, can I read the sentence that starts it off? 

PAZ: Yeah, go ahead. 

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: "Thoughts of Graystripe lay heavy at the edge of his mind, like rain clouds." Bro. 

PAZ: Oh my god. He's just posting his emo poetry on LiveJournal. Oh my god.

JULIAN: You know, Fireheart, he doesn't have anybody to talk to, but maybe he can take up slam poetry.

PAZ: Oh, no. 

JULIAN: Maybe he can have an outlet that way.

PAZ: Yeah. But luckily Graystripe does not show up, just these sad cats.

JULIAN: Oh, they're so sad.

PAZ: I guess we will see what happens to them next time. I hope they live. They're so sad.

LIZ: They're so pathetic.

JULIAN: Yeah, this set of chapters is a real cliffhanger.

PAZ: Yeah. And a lot of trauma. Well, is that it for our discussion, I think?  

JULIAN: I'm good.

LIZ: Yeah.

[meow]

PAZ: I know Liz posted that How to Act like A Medicine Cat wikiHow.

JULIAN: I think that's very fitting since we're dealing with the plague. Yeah. We need more medicine cats.

PAZ: Yeah, that's so true.

LIZ: We gotta start passing this around illicitly till we can get more medicine cats, because apparently you can't have too many.

JULIAN: Can I just quickly read the related wikiHows over on the right? 

PAZ: Oh, yeah. 

LIZ: Mm-hmm. 

JULIAN: How to Rickroll someone. 

PAZ: Uh-huh.

JULIAN: How to make someone wet the bed.

PAZ: Um.

LIZ: Mm.

JULIAN: How to be cute. 

PAZ: Yeah, we looked at that one.

JULIAN: How to annoy your brother.

LIZ: I've read How to be cute. It's, uh. Mm, it's interesting. 

JULIAN: Uh-oh. 

LIZ: I don't know if that should be our segment. That can be our private segment if you want. You should read it. It's really fucked up.

PAZ: Well, we're here to learn how to act like a medicine cat.

JULIAN: Yes.

LIZ: How to annoy your brother is a cop-out, because sometimes it just says like, oh, try not to fight with him, though. No, you should fight with your brother and destroy him.

JULIAN: If you annoy your brother enough, eventually it will lead to fighting, so. Shall we begin to read this article? 

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: I can start. "Step one, read up on the herbs and how they work. You will also need a pretty strong connection with StarClan. Make sure that your knowledge is strong so that you don't give any cats the wrong herbs." Also, I would like to note that this wikiHow article was originally titled– I can tell because this is still on the images– How to Act Like an Herb-obsessed Medicine Cat.

PAZ: Oh my god. What made them change it?

JULIAN: I don't know. I don't know how to view the Talk page on wikiHow.

PAZ: There's a tantalizing mystery here.

LIZ: There's 40 co-authors.

PAZ: What?!

LIZ: Yeah. If you look up in the upper right hand corner.

PAZ: Oh my God,  you know this is the real deal, then. You know this is the lore book.

LIZ: Small note, I do like that for generally for the illustrations, they've just chosen to model it with human hands. Not cat hands. It's explicitly you, human. 

PAZ: Yeah, it's how you, the human.

LIZ: Yeah, not like your cat OC, though. 

PAZ: No.

LIZ: No, this is you.

PAZ: And step number two, "you need to make a strong connection with StarClan. Stick to the warrior code and make up prophecies to tell to friends and have people fulfill. Don't make obvious prophecies like 'an enemy will kill you.' Make ones like, 'an enemy lurks in the shadows.' Or 'blood will spill blood before there is peace.'

JULIAN: Gotta be cryptic.

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: StarClan loves cryptic. Also, um, I just– what is this illustration that the hand is touching?

LIZ: Claws?

PAZ: It kinda looks like owl talons.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's talons. Is this from Guardians of Ga’hoole?

PAZ: What if you just steal plot points?

LIZ: Fucking infringing on my IP.

PAZ: You just steal plot points from Guardians of Ga'hoole to make your prophecies about. Easy.

JULIAN: There you go. 

LIZ: God. All right. Step three. "Understand your herbs very well. You have to know all of them, even the poisons that can kill you and the ones not used for cats, or not generally used frequently. The main herbs are: feverfew for fever, marigold for infection, poppy seeds for pain, catmint for greencough, tansy for coughs, and cobwebs for bleeding. There are poisons like deathberries that cause death." 

PAZ: You're telling me tell me deathberries cause death?

LIZ: You're telling me these berries cause death?! These herbs, one of them just looks like parsley, Just some herbs.

JULIAN: Step four, following on. "Suggest using the appropriate herbs when someone takes ill. This is only if an herb is available for the particular ailment." Fucking, imagine you're at the playground at recess. You skin your knees, and the weird kid comes up and holds out a handful of cobwebs from under the slide and is like, here.

PAZ: I do want to note that the art for this step is a leaf and also pills? I guess suggesting, you know, you can also just use pills. 

JULIAN: You know, herbs for humans.

PAZ: We won't tell you what.

LIZ: Kid walks up to you on the playground like, here's my gingko leaf. Don't worry, you don't have to eat it. But do take these garlic powder pills. 

PAZ: Mm-hmm. Number five. "Tend to your herbs. Make sure to water them appropriately." The image for this is so ominous. I am frightened. 

JULIAN: It's so frightening. 

PAZ: It's like a hand holding out a branch directly into the camera, and there's a completely black silhouette of a person behind him.

LIZ: The branch is like hiding their face. It's very scary. Six. "Go outside and search for herbs when you have spare time. Be sure you don't lose them. Store them in a box outside. When you're out in the yard and it's not raining, open it to let the air come in."

PAZ: What?

LIZ: And then it's Just another picture of some herbs.

PAZ: Why? Why are you like–

JULIAN: You have to open it so they don't get musty. I've done this.

LIZ: You like making your own dried oregano, I guess?

JULIAN: No, I was making my own medicine cat herbs. 

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Yeah, oregano. 

JULIAN: Yeah, if you keep them in a box, but you don't ever open the box, they get moldy.

LIZ: That makes sense because they're like, full of juice.

PAZ: Love that you know this from experience.

JULIAN: You know, when I say imagine the child running up to you at recess with a fistful of cobwebs.

LIZ: Yes?

PAZ: I see.

JULIAN: I don't have to do a lot of imagining. Step seven, "try to stay close to your den. This way you can either tend to sick cats or fuss with herbs. You can still hang out with friends, though, because even medicine cats have fun once in a while."

PAZ: Thanks. Thanks for permission.

JULIAN: And then the image here is a cat sniffing I guess some like catnip or catgrass or something. Sniffing a plant. So now we're a cat.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: We've done it. 

PAZ: Finally.

LIZ: We've graduated medical school.

PAZ: Number eight. "Don't forget your duties. Be as busy as you can and rush around the house often, searching for quote, 'a certain herb that looks like parsley.'" That is so specific. 

LIZ: Is that a quote?

PAZ: Yeah, there's quote marks around it.

LIZ: No, is– so I guess it's from the book?

JULIAN: Is that from the book? I think so. I don't remember which herb looks like parsley. 

LIZ: Parsley. 

PAZ: Solved.

LIZ: Maybe like a celery leaf. That kind of looks like parsley. Nine, "keep busy. You have to do lots of things being a medicine cat. And those are supposed to take up the bored time you have and make your life busier." So thanks, I guess. I thought I was supposed to relax a bit too, but.

PAZ: No, just like in real life, medicine cat medical workers are overworked.

LIZ: No. Okay, the image–

JULIAN: Can we describe the image?

LIZ: It is extreme close up of a black cat with huge wide eyes, no mouth, looking straight at the camera, reader, whatever and just has some grass in front of it. Looks like it's intrigued.

JULIAN: Ah, what is it? Step 10. "In among all of your other duties, make time to go to the Moonpool. Being a medicine cat, you will have to set a time each month, if possible at night, to go to a certain pond, maybe lake, or a puddle. And if you aren't able to do that, a set place. Another idea is to make a Moonstone, which would be easier to find. At the Moonstone or pool, try meditating or daydreaming with StarClan. If you can't do that, brainstorm ideas for prophecies."

PAZ: If you can't get in contact with the StarClan, it's fine to just come up with stuff on your own also.

JULIAN: Storebought is fine.

PAZ: Please don't tell children to go out to a lake at night. That's no good.

LIZ: They can go to a puddle at night provided it's just out in their backyard.

PAZ: Yeah. Step 11. "Train an apprentice. Find someone interested in herbs and let them be trained by you. Give them tasks like collecting moss, finding herbs, and picking ticks off the elders." Excuse me?

LIZ: No! Don't tell your even smaller child friend to go just pick ticks off of things.

JULIAN: You got to bully your friends.

PAZ: Oh my god, don't. No. 

JULIAN: Step 11 to being a medicine cat apprentice, wikiHow says, is bully your friends.

LIZ: The picture that they've chosen for this is some very badly traced like, like baby art. You know, like I've had a baby. Here's me holding my baby's hands. 

JULIAN: Oh god.

LIZ: And then there's some dirt. Oh, who's next? 

PAZ: You, I think. 

LIZ: Oh, okay. 12. "Have fun being an herb-obsessed medicine cat with everything you will need." And the picture is of I think a businessman, just based on like attire. Because this figure has some khaki pants, and a button-up, I think with a tie. At least that's what it looks like to me. And some hands holding just like enormous, enormous bunches of herbs, like celery-sized. 

JULIAN: Like chard.

LIZ: There's some kale in there.

JULIAN: This person has come back from the farmers market.

LIZ: This person has like a whole bunch of leek, and that must have cost a lot, because leek expensive.

JULIAN: Where are you getting your leeks?

PAZ: That's a medicine cat secret.

JULIAN: I was just– my leeks are not that expensive.

LIZ: Like big leeks? 

JULIAN: Yeah. I guess we get them at the farmers market. 

LIZ: I'd like some. Hey, here's a leek hack. You can just grow a leek from a leek. You never have to buy another one.

JULIAN: Infinite leek.

LIZ: Infinite leek. Just stick the root in some dirt. Infinite leek.

JULIAN: Hell yeah.

LIZ: That's a medicine cat secret.

JULIAN: Fittingly, step 13. "Share medicine cat tips with medicine cats from other clans. Other medicine cats from each clan are usually not rivals and are typically friendly."

PAZ: I feel like this is not established in the first series. 

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: No.

PAZ: I know by the second series it is, but I don't know if anyone's friends in the first series. 

LIZ: Nope. They're pretty snippy.

PAZ: Yeah. Step 14. "Don't act like a warrior. You can use catspeak, but don't fight."

JULIAN: What the fuck is catspeak?

PAZ: "Or seem a bit too close to it, because medicine cats never fight unless they have to, which means only if they're fighting a badger or fox." 

LIZ: The image is I think two crossed spears. You know, cat things. 15, "go hunting occasionally. Although hunting is typically a warrior duty, you are allowed to hunt once in a while to take a break from your medicine duties."

PAZ: Yeah, that's your mandated day off. Go do more work.

JULIAN: I'm getting a lot of conflicting advice from this.

LIZ: Well, there were 40 authors.

JULIAN: Just that I have to be really busy, but also I need to take breaks. This is starting to feel like my old job.

PAZ: And that was the end of it. 

LIZ: Comments are pretty good. 

JULIAN: Yeah, we've got some good Community Q&A. And we also have Tips and Warnings.

PAZ: Let's only read a few because I'm hungry.

LIZ: Me too. Can I read one right now? 

PAZ: Yeah. 

JULIAN: Yes. 

LIZ: "If someone in a roleplay wants to pretend they ate deathberries, what can I use to represent the berries?" Wishwolf says, "you could try strawberries or blueberries or Skittles or Smarties, or pretty much anything small and berrylike," which I think is cute. 

PAZ: That is cute.

JULIAN: That's very cute. 

LIZ: Me eating a single Reese's Piece. Oh. Oh no.

JULIAN: Uh-oh. 

LIZ: What did you do to me?

JULIAN: "What if someone wants to be the medicine cat but never remembers the herbs and refuses to give up their role?"

LIZ: Oh no. 

JULIAN: Featherstorm: "Remind your friend that he has to be able to remember the herbs. If he cannot, what will he do in a situation where a clanmate is close to death–

PAZ: So true. 

JULIAN: "–and she or he cannot remember the herbs? You might also suggest getting an apprentice that will remember the herbs."

PAZ: Wow. Just offload the duties. The one right under it, also very good. "Can beans be poppy seeds?" Community answer. "Yes, that's the purrfect thing to use."

JULIAN: Hold up. I clicked through to more questions. "How can I be an evil medicine cat?"

LIZ: Oh yes. 

JULIAN: WishWolf says, "you could purposely use the wrong herbs or give the cats poison instead of medicine."

PAZ: [gasps] Oh my god.

LIZ: [gasps] 

JULIAN: Like a real sicko.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: What kind of sicko would do that?

LIZ: That's some fucked up shit.

JULIAN: Oh, no. "What if I'm a medicine cat apprentice? How do I memorize all the herbs? I'm making flashcards but I'm not sure they'll work"

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: Aww. 

PAZ: Oh, children. 

LIZ: Just practice. It'll be okay.

JULIAN: Kids are really good. 

LIZ: Oh, this person asks, "What should I use instead of spider webs?" Community answer. "You can use band-aids." 

JULIAN: Yes. Please use band-aids.

PAZ: Please use band-aids. I might just read one last thing from tips to close it out on. Here is the thing from tips. "Make flyers and business cards to let people know that you are a medicine cat."

LIZ: [claps] Yes! 

JULIAN: Ohhhhh.

PAZ: And that is absolutely how you be a medicine cat as a 12 year old. 

LIZ: [claps] Yes.

JULIAN: Can I just– one warning. 

PAZ: Okay, yes. 

JULIAN: "Don't act too much like a medicine cat. Something bad could happen. Not telling what, but there are many possibilities, such as people will think you are weird."

LIZ: Nooo!

PAZ: I mean, they're not wrong.

JULIAN: They're not wrong. Especially if you have flyers and business cards.

LIZ: Flyers and business cards for friends and people you have assessed to be fellow Warrior Cats fans, perhaps.

JULIAN: Yeah. Give your flyers and business cards to people you trust.

PAZ: Okay, I think that that'll be it for us this episode.

LIZ: Wait, wait, wait, there's a one small Things You'll Need section. And the very last one is "apprentice (optional)."

PAZ: Sure is optional. All right. I forgot to figure out what chapters we're reading next time. So that'll just be in the episode description. That's it otherwise. Can't wait to see what drama happens next week. As always, you can find the show @staircast on Twitter. You can support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/staircast. And you can send us emails at [email protected]. I don't think I say anything else. So until next time, may StarClan light your path. 

LIZ: Bye. 

JULIAN: Bye.

[outro music]

#transcript #ep 29 #rising storm EP #littlerat and fuckedupwhisker

[staircasttext]

Episode 53: Chapters 28-30

Chapter 28

As they near Fourtrees, Firestar reflects on how much the cats in ThunderClan mean to him. RiverClan and ShadowClan show up together, their medicine cats Mudfur and Runningnose surprisingly alive, followed by WindClan, as well as Barley and Ravenpaw. As they talk among each other, they also keep an eye (and nose) out for BloodClan. Scourge and BloodClan appear, demanding an answer. Both Leopardstar and Tallstar urge Firestar to take the lead, and he offers Scourge a chance to not fight and for BloodClan to leave in peace. When Scourge refuses, BloodClan and LionClan attack each other.

Firestar loses sight of Scourge immediately and tries to find him in the fray. There is a lot of fighting. (Angrily) Meow meow meow. Onewhisker is there! Firestar is briefly rescued from a BloodClan warrior about to kill him by Darkstripe, who wants to kill him also. Graystripe pops up and kills Darkstripe, finally. They both see Bone, the BloodClan deputy, killing Whitestorm. Bone is destroyed by a giant pile of devastated teen cats. Whitestorm, with his last dying breath, says that Graystripe should be deputy. Tawnypaw rescues Bramblepaw at some point from a BloodClan cat. 

Firestar realizes they are losing and resolves to find Scourge. To his horror, he sees Scourge fighting a wounded Onewhisker and swoops in to save him. As Onewhisker escapes, Scourge and Firestar have their fight, which is short because Scourge immediately kills him.

Chapter 29

Firestar awakens in a StarClan version of Fourtrees, faced with the cats who’d given him his nine lives as leader, plus the newly-dead Whitestorm (no longer hit with the old ray). Bluestar points out the image of Firestar’s physical body, still bleeding and attempting to revive from losing a life, which is understandably horrifying to Firestar. As he begs to be sent back, Bluestar says he needs time to heal first. Firestar questions his faith more as Bluestar gives some vague StarClan assurances about his character growth and StarClan’s will. Firestar’s faith is restored when Bluestar tells him that there aren’t four clans in the forest but five, including StarClan, which is always with him ready to take the feline wheel. 

Firestar wakes the fuck up to see Cloudtail gamely chomping down on Scourge’s leg. He yells at Scourge to face him, which shocks Scourge who believed that he’d killed Firestar for good. Firestar says he has the power of StarClan and anime behind him because he has nine lives. They launch into another bloody fight and Firestar beats Scourge by recalling his old trick from his time as an apprentice: pretending to surrender so he can bounce Scourge off his back like a cat-shaped trampoline. He catches Scourge off guard and kills him. Once the other BloodClan cats see that their leader is dead, they immediately scatter and the forest cats emerge victorious.

Chapter 30

Firestar sends Cloudtail to have Cinderpelt help with his wounds. He notices that LionClan is already breaking up into the four individual clans again as things wind down. He’s relieved to see that Sandstorm is alive and well and they go to see Cinderpelt together. As Firestar is being seen to, Leopardstar comes up to him and says RiverClan and ShadowClan are returning to their respective homes. Mistyfoot announces she is going home to RiverClan as deputy with Featherpaw and Stormpaw in tow. Firestar gives a parting warning to the ShadowClan deputy, soon to be leader, as he leaves. Bramblepaw gives his goodbyes to Tawnypaw. Barley and Ravenpaw say goodbye before leaving, and Firestar extends a standing welcome to them from ThunderClan as they offer the same welcome from their farm.

To Firestar’s relief, Tallstar emerges from some bushes, proudly declaring that WindClan chased the rest of BloodClan out of the area. They say their goodbyes respectfully. As Firestar looks over the battlefield, he thanks StarClan for having his back. And then he smells a familiar smell that could only be Spottedleaf, who bizarrely promises that he will never be alone because she will watch over him forever. I GUESS. As Spottedleaf’s signature scent fades, his current actual girlfriend Sandstorm, as well as his pleasantly ambiguous on again off again bro Graystripe emerge to sit beside him, plus Bramblepaw. They watch the sunrise over the clearing together. THE END 🐈!

#summary #the darkest hour ep

[staircasttext]

Ep 28 Transcript: Adam Sandler as Darkstripe

Episode 28

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone, welcome back to Stairway to StarClan, a Warriors cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz. 

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm also Paz.

PAZ: You can't be– you [splutters].

JULIAN: You got to impersonate me sometime.

PAZ: Yeah, why am I the only one being impersonated?

JULIAN: Switch it up.

LIZ: Shorter name to spell in the Discord nickname bubble.

JULIAN: I see.

PAZ: Stop impersonating me.

LIZ: Fine, fine.

PAZ: You can be Graystripe British or American.

JULIAN: For those of you who are not in our Discord and can't see this– 

PAZ: Which is everyone. 

JULIAN: Which is everyone, Liz just changed her name to Julian.

LIZ: Who's that? Anyway, back to our podcast.

PAZ: Yeah, our Warriors podcast. We read Rising Storm, chapters four to six. They're pretty short. Not a lot happened, but we will discuss them. That was my bad in picking chapters, but it's fine.

LIZ: We need some time for segments. Quite some time.

JULIAN: Maybe we'll have some animal googling or something.

PAZ: Oh, we do love to do that.

LIZ: Oh my god, a mosquito just landed right outside the window. You're not getting in. Okay, sorry. Let's go.

PAZ: Okay, I'll go into the summaries. So chapter four. Fireheart dreams about Spottedleaf. Instead of speaking to him, she just keeps walking away from him as other ThunderClan cats try to get his attention, most notably Bluestar, Cloudpaw, and Whitestorm. Whitestorm wakes him up, telling him the patrol is waiting and that Bluestar wants to see him. Meanwhile, Fireheart wonders if Spottedleaf has abandoned him. 

In her den, Bluestar tells Fireheart that StarClan has summoned her to the Moonstone and that Fireheart is the only one she trusts enough to take with her, despite Fireheart's protests. Whitestorm takes over patrol organizing and looking after the camp per Bluestar's orders. 

In Yellowfang's den, she gives Fireheart and Bluestar Yellowfang– she gives Fireheart and Bluestar traveling herbs. She also chides Cinderpelt for forgetting parts of her medicine cat training, knowing that she still feels guilty about Silverstream's death. Before Fireheart and Bluestar leave, Fireheart argues with Cloudpaw about not respecting the warrior code and the rest of the clan, ordering him to stay behind and hunt with Runningwind.  

Chapter five. Fireheart is concerned about the circuitous route Bluestar is taking to the Moonstone and potentially meeting hostile cats from other clans. Bluestar takes them deeper into RiverClan, and Fireheart hopes he can catch a glimpse of Graystripe despite himself, and realizes that Bluestar must wish to see Mistyfoot and Stonefur too. They narrowly avoid the RiverClan deputy Leopardfur. 

Bluestar reminisces about training Fireheart, saying that she's proud of him and how trustworthy he is. But she becomes bitter when Fireheart protests that the other ThunderClan warriors are trustworthy too. Fireheart realizes how much lasting damage Tigerclaw's betrayal has done to her. Bluestar says Graystripe also sucks for not warning her like Fireheart did. True. 

They make it to WindClan territory, and Fireheart worries about how tired Bluestar looks. Three WindClan cats find them and refuse to let them pass because ThunderClan previously gave Brokentail shelter. Bluestar is insistent that StarClan gives them the right to travel to the Moonstone and seems ready to fight. 

Chapter six. Fireheart convinces Bluestar to return home, saying they can't fight three cats at once. The WindClan cats escort them as far as Fourtrees, but Fireheart swears that they won't be stopped next time. On the way back, Bluestar says StarClan must be angry and not want to share dreams with her. It reminds Fireheart of what the elders said about his own naming as deputy, and he wonders if StarClan is truly angry with ThunderClan. 

Everyone is shocked at Bluestar and Fireheart's early return. No leader has ever been turned back from their journey to the Moonstone. Fireheart then finds out Cloudpaw left to hunt without Runningwind. When Cloudpaw does return with freshkill, Fireheart suspects he ate while he was out and criticizes Cloudpaw again for not respecting the warrior code. Fireheart punishes Cloudpaw by saying he won't be going to the gathering with the other apprentices. He fears Cloudpaw will not become a true warrior. And that's the end of our readings this week.

Bluestar... 

LIZ: The vibes are troubling.

PAZ: Yeah, Bluestar's vibes are troubling.

LIZ: You okay, queen?

PAZ: Pick your head up, queen.

JULIAN: Very worried about her. 

LIZ: You okay?

PAZ: Yeah, she's very paranoid. Very, like, I don't know. Just worried about things that don't seem to be a problem.

JULIAN: Right, and not worried about things that are actively very concerning.

PAZ: Yeah, and the chapters really go out of their way to point out physically she is not doing well either. She's like, very old and frail all of a sudden.

JULIAN: Yeah, like when they're climbing– we'll get into it, I think– but like when they're in Windclan territory, and like climbing up some rocks, it's like specifically mentioned that she's very, very slow.

PAZ: Yeah, like she's out of breath and almost not landing her jumps. She's not doing good.

LIZ: Yeah, it's sad.

PAZ: Yeah, it is sad.

LIZ: I did like the bit of not retconning, but there's a part where she's like, remember all the times I trained you or something? Like it was more than one paragraph.

PAZ: I think the text is convinced it was more than one paragraph. But I've read the books. I know it was one paragraph.

JULIAN: All the days they spent together or something.

PAZ: I feel like the book is convinced Bluestar's been like on screen more than she actually has been. Like I mean, she's been on screen, but not as much as you would think.

LIZ: No. I don't mind it. I'll take this rag spinning.

PAZ: Yeah, it's fine. 

JULIAN: Yeah. I definitely am surprised reading these at how little she's actually on screen, because I remember her being a lot more on screen. And I think that's because of the narrative.

PAZ: Yeah, I feel like she'll be a lot more on screen this book. So that's something. But like previous books, she kinda only showed up in and out of scenes to like, do some leader stuff. And that was like it really. Definitely on screen less than Tigerclaw I feel like.

JULIAN: Yeah, Tigerclaw is on scene constantly.

LIZ: Tigerclaw stole the fucking show.

PAZ: Bring him back.

LIZ: No, he already wants– he's gonna come back. You don't have to bring him.

JULIAN: Yeah, I was gonna say, I don't know that we have to do any bringing. I think he'll make an appearance.

PAZ: Well, tick tock. Where is he?

JULIAN: Can we talk about the Spottedleaf dream?

PAZ: Yeah, let's go back right to the beginning.

LIZ: Ugh. 

PAZ: Spottedleaf, she was too busy walking away to be sexy this time. It's very concerning to Fireheart.

LIZ: It's very serious.

JULIAN: "Fireheart waited eagerly for her gentle greeting." But she didn't press her nose to his cheek.

PAZ: How could this be?

LIZ: She's mad at him.

JULIAN: Yeah, I love that his assumption is that StarClan has sent him this dream. But it's like, yeah, StarClan sent you an anxiety dream about not being a good deputy.

PAZ: I guess he just hasn't had normal dreams for a hot second.

LIZ: I mean, does he just have anxiety dreams all the time, maybe, and he just thinks every single one is also like a vision?

PAZ: Oh, no. 

JULIAN: That sounds hellish.  

LIZ: I think he has. Like what good dreams does he really have?

PAZ: Well, maybe he dreams a lot about like little mice and we just don't hear about it.

LIZ: Yeah, but like, he's constantly on the verge of starvation. For the last three books, something's tried to kill him, and that was his gym teacher. He's worried about his mother figure dying like all the time now. Lost his best friend. Has just the rowdiest nephew. Is a feral cat, just like in a cult. I don't know

PAZ: Yeah, he gets so worried over this, mostly over Spottedleaf not being close to him with her sweet scent anymore. It does make the point, which I found extremely funny, that it just like pointed out that "Spottedleaf had always been closer to him in dreams than she had ever been in life." And it's like yeah, cause she died literally halfway through the first book. He knew her for maybe like two months.

JULIAN: There's one line here about like "the pain of the medicine cat's death so many moons ago was as raw as ever." And it's like was it? Because you forget about her constantly.

PAZ: Yeah, I forget about her constantly. 

LIZ: Spottedleaf who? 

PAZ: Sometimes I can still hear her voice.

LIZ: Spottedleaf is in a real like Dishonored heart of the empress situation.

PAZ: Yeah, can some other StarClan cats step in here and give her a break? Why's she gotta be the one to do all this? Not like– this is not a StarClan dream. But you know.

LIZ: She's the sexiest cat. You've got to give the fucking visions to whoever's the next chosen one or whatever.

PAZ: Damn. You're right.

JULIAN: Whitestorm is carrying the whole clan on his shoulders.

PAZ: Oh my god. I know. And he's so chill about it, too. He's never like, Fireheart, what are you doing? Or why do I have to do all this work? He's just like, let me help, buddy.

LIZ: It's like, it's so helpful. It's almost like a bit too convenient for me, but I'm just relieved. Like, God, thank God. Not too convenient like suspicious, but you know, just convenient like narratively. but I'm fine with it. I'm happy for this.

PAZ: Well, we know he's very normal and competent and that he was like– I think we knew from the first book, we knew that people thought he would be deputy when Tigerclaw was made deputy, so.

LIZ: He's just like a stand up guy. 

PAZ: He's just so normal.

JULIAN: Real logistics guy.

LIZ: He knows how to use Excel.

PAZ: Absolutely.

LIZ: He bought the subscription for the clan.

JULIAN: God, Chickpea's scratching at the door. I think it's fine. 

PAZ: Sorry, what?

JULIAN: Oh, Chickpea's scratching at the door.

PAZ: No, Chickpea. 

JULIAN: Han has class tonight, so she's blocked from both rooms, which means– 

PAZ: Oh no. 

LIZ: No. You've got to get her the toy we got for Kip.

PAZ: It's great.

LIZ: She'll destroy it probably. But it'll be worth it.

JULIAN: She has really enjoyed– thank you for turning me on to worms on strings, because she loves the worm on a string that I got her.

PAZ: Oh hell yeah.

LIZ: Who doesn't? 

PAZ: I feel that, Chickpea. Oh, also want to point out that we did get some queens going back to being warriors, which I think is a first on screen. 

LIZ: That's good. 

JULIAN: Oh, I missed that. 

PAZ: Yeah, they can still advance their career after childbirth. 

JULIAN: Which queen was that? 

PAZ: It was two of them. Brindleface and Frostfur are now both back like being warriors. 

JULIAN: Hell yes.

LIZ: Maybe a new workplace romance? 

PAZ: Oooh.

LIZ: It's like oh, we came back at the same time. Hey! Wow, your cubicle's right next to mine? Oh, we brought in freshkill at the same time. Oh, this is so awkward.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, we're still in the period of Warriors when it's like, I don't know who the dad is, unless it's Bramblekit, in which case we do know, cause he's evil and looks exactly like Tigerclaw.

JULIAN: Right, assigned evil at birth.

PAZ: Yeah, so this is a period of Warriors where I'm like, I feel like these cats are all just polyamorous. It's not clearly defined yet.

JULIAN: Oh Bluestar, this is such a bad idea.

PAZ: Yeah, then we move to Bluestar being like, I need to go talk to StarClan pronto. It's just me and you. They need to invent cell phones to StarClan.

JULIAN: Everyone else in the clan is like, are you sure? This seems like a bad idea. Longtail does it racistly, but you know, some of the other warriors are like, uhhh, is that wise? No, it's not wise.

PAZ: Yeah. But when Fireheart tries to convince her, she just loses it, so.

JULIAN: Oiiii. You would think she would have learned that listening to Fireheart is a good idea, but I don't think she's...

PAZ: No, that has not quite sunk in.

LIZ: It's the whole point of like, why she trusts him. But like... and yet....

PAZ: And yet.

LIZ: Ugh. It's like, you're my favorite child. Fuck all my other children. I won't listen to you anymore, though.

PAZ: Her paranoia trumps over her trusting Fireheart because she distrusts everyone else so much that like, only him.

JULIAN: She trusts Fireheart except for when he says that she should trust other people. 

LIZ: It's very frustrating to read, but in a way that is good. It's like, this is very painful.

PAZ: Yeah, I also got the sense that she was going because she hadn't heard from StarClan, which is like, that's also pretty sad. Like, desperation move.

JULIAN: Oh, StarClan hasn't showed up in my dreams. So I'm gonna go knock on their door, basically.

LIZ: Is that what happens when like, you fuck up as a leader is like, you just–

PAZ: Ghosted.

LIZ: You don't– it is like ghosted. But it's like, oh, do I not have my divine thing anymore? Is it just gone? My divine authority?

PAZ: Well, didn't we read at some point that leaders can't lose their lives unless they give it up willingly? So we know that, which is very funny.

LIZ: God. 

PAZ: But I guess StarClan can just ghost you at the very least if they're not happy with you.

JULIAN: It's also like– I don't know. Reading this like through Fireheart's POV is, like you were saying, Liz, very painful. Because we're seeing this person that he really looked up to, who's still reminiscing, oh, remember when I was your mentor? She's reminiscing one moment and then the next moment kind of irrationally paranoid.

PAZ: Yeah, it's very much periods of more and less lucid. 

LIZ: And yeah, specifically about that scene you talked about, Julian. It's so like– I joked about how abruptly they mentioned all the training sessions, because it was one paragraph. But I think the narrative really does sell it, because Fireheart is so sad. And seeing her be slightly confident for a second makes him so happy. And then he's so happy too when she says she's proud of him, because he's definitely not getting that right now from other people. And then it just switches immediately into suspicion and bitterness.

JULIAN: Yeah. I mean, I think it really– this is very clearly kind of– like the real life implication here is that she's starting to have dementia or something. That there's some sort of something going on. And like, it is written very realistically for how that works with people.

PAZ: Yeah, it's sad. It's sad on a personal level, but now also Fireheart is kind of in charge but with no warning, so it's very stressful too for him.

JULIAN: Oh, there is, before they leave, the moment where Yellowfang is like sneaking chamomile in there.

LIZ: Oh god, it's so sad.

PAZ: Yeah, Yellowfang I think has an idea what's happening.

LIZ: It's an interesting reaction too because I think it's really consistent with her character that she's not going to talk about this. She's just gonna slip you extra herbs that she won't tell you about.

JULIAN: Right? We're not gonna have a conversation about this. I'm just gonna slip you like anti-anxiety herbs.

LIZ: And it's just like chamomile, but like, nope, I won't tell you at all.

PAZ: They're cats, though. That's hard stuff. I don't actually know. I don't have the fucking herb guide.

JULIAN: I mean, that's what it does for humans. I don't like– or has a mild effect that way for humans. I don't know what–

PAZ: I gotta google it on Warriors wiki. I need to know the exact effects.

JULIAN: "Eating too much of it can cause diarrhea, vomiting and a lack of appetite. But a small amount can be okay."

PAZ: What the fuck is herb called blazing star?

LIZ: That's my Warriors OC obviously. It's a cat that fell to earth.

PAZ: Oh. 

JULIAN: Ooh.

PAZ: Okay, the Warriors wiki says the effect is "strengthens the heart and soothes the mind. Also given to traveling cats for strength."

JULIAN: I'm unclear whether they mean heart like, metaphorically or physically.

PAZ: I think metaphorically, because it also soothes the mind. 

LIZ: I think that's just the tea effect, right? There's no extra cat effect being written in, maybe.

PAZ: I guess not. 

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah. I don't know how much it helped her.

LIZ: No. 

JULIAN: Yeah, it doesn't seem to have done a lot. God, does she mistrust Yellowfang too?

LIZ: No!

PAZ: I don't know. 

LIZ: Nothing that registers so far. This is just taking your cool doctor wife for granted now.

PAZ: But the Yellowfang scene also includes more of Cinderpelt being anxious over her doctor performance and like, messing up a bit. And at this point, Yellowfang is getting kind of annoyed with it. I'm like, she needs more positive reinforcement, Yellowfang.

LIZ: Like again, there's only so much you can do with slipping people chamomile and like being affectionately like acerbic instead of talking about stuff at all. I think Fireheart is also like, just tries to make eye contact or something with Cinderpelt and just doesn't have a chance, and it sucks. These three chapters are short, but they're very tense.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean, this whole book has been very tense so far. The vibes are pretty bad in ThunderClan camp I would say. And then Cloudpaw also comes back after that scene–

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh my god. 

PAZ: –to be a little nasty teen.

JULIAN: Cloudpaw, fucking read the room.

PAZ: Truly.

LIZ: Cloudpaw going to shelve some Bibles in the fiction section.

PAZ: God.

LIZ: But also, like Fireheart's internal thoughts about him are so mean. Just–

PAZ: He's so mean.

LIZ: So mean.

JULIAN: I get that Fireheart is under a lot of stress. However, he does not handle Cloudpaw at all well.

PAZ: No, no. I think just being mean towards him is not gonna solve the problem because that's what you've already been doing, and he is not listening to you. So maybe try a different approach.

LIZ: This is like your fucking precious nephew from your beloved sister that you risked your whole thing for to bring him here. It was like a book ago that you were like worrying about, like, oh, is he gonna fit in? I hope he does well. What if the other kids make fun of him? Stuff like that. What happened to that? 

PAZ: I think a lot of it is like Fireheart doesn't want to be embarrassed by Cloudpaw being rowdy because now he's deputy and it's like– and he's already feeling very insecure about his position. Because I think later in the last chapter, he gets really stressed out about having to publicly scold Cloudpaw for not following his orders.

LIZ: Yeah, absolutely. 

JULIAN: Yeah, I think it's very much more about Fireheart than it is about Cloudpaw.

PAZ: I think Kip wants to leave. I'm gonna go let him out in case he needs to go to the bathroom.

LIZ: Okay. I can't wait to see him. I can just see Paz talking.

KIP: [tiny mew] 

LIZ: Hey. Hi Kippy. Pss pss pss. Wait, is he turning around? Sitting in front of the litterbox. Look at the window. Thinking. I think he just came out here to take the air.

PAZ: Okay, hi. 

JULIAN: Taking a turn of the room.

LIZ: He does that a lot, and I always think about the fucking like, Pride and Prejudice scene, you know, where they gotta walk around the stuffy horrible living room? 

PAZ: Yeah. 

LIZ: Oh no. Kip is just like sitting outside of the room now looking at the door.

PAZ: Well, he shouldn't have stood at the door like he wanted to go out. Well, he has to sit out there. 

LIZ: Sooo sad.

PAZ: He has to live with his decision. 

LIZ: So sad. Just staring at the door. Okay, let's podcast. Oh no, he's lying down.

PAZ: It's fine. Then they go. They start their journey. Bluestar decides we gotta go real close to RiverClan. So close.

LIZ: Into it, actually.

PAZ: I don't know. They don't go deep into it. I think it's like she kind of crosses the border like, very briefly a few times. Fireheart, desperate to see Graystripe. 

JULIAN: Oh, God. 

LIZ: [sighs] What are you gonna do if you see him?

PAZ: Not worth it. Yeah, what are you gonna do?

LIZ: It's gonna be so sad. He's with all those other gray cats where he belongs. There's only like, three of them in your clan.

JULIAN: We do find out that Leopardfur is a tortie, I think.

PAZ: Aw.

JULIAN: She's described as like, speckled in a way that makes me think, like speckled brown, that makes me think tortie. Although maybe I'm wrong.

PAZ: I like that idea.

LIZ: That's really cute. We'll get more Leopard...fur. Forgot her name immediately after you said it.

PAZ: She has a great name. Why does she get the other cool, great cat name besides Tigerclaw? 

JULIAN: Right?

LIZ: She's got her own thing going on.

JULIAN: There was Lion whatever the fuck, who died. Who got murdered.

PAZ: Yeah, whoever the fuck. Who cares?

LIZ: Lion... heart? Lionblaze, I know you don't like that guy. 

PAZ: Lionsnooze. 

LIZ: All right.

JULIAN: I think it is Lionheart. Yeah, it was Lionheart. 

LIZ: That's very cliche actually. I take it back.

JULIAN: Oh my god. Sorry. The picture of him is so busted-looking. 

LIZ: Oh no. 

JULIAN: Look at the way they drew him.

LIZ: Why does he have the–

PAZ: He looks like patches of grass.

LIZ: It looks like the lineart is underlaid with like, just like a very, very low res JPEG of like some macaroni and cheese.

PAZ: Yeah, it's beautiful.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's the wiki sprite. And because he has "thick fur like a lion's mane," they've drawn it as like, tufts.

PAZ: It looks like how you draw grass as a child. 

JULIAN: Yep. It's incredible. He's also got this ruff that makes it look like he's wearing a fancy coat.

LIZ: Grandma, it's me.

PAZ: Rest in peace.

JULIAN: Lionblaze walking through the Upper East Side on his way to get a bagel.

PAZ: Why didn't he come back to be the sexy StarClan cat? They died at like the same time. Missed opportunities.

JULIAN: Damn. 

LIZ: Fireheart didn't meet him, though. Did he?

PAZ: I assume he met him as much as he met Spottedleaf. 

LIZ: Fair enough. 

PAZ: He was alive when Fireheart showed up.

JULIAN: Oh, he's Cinderpelt's dad. 

PAZ: What? 

JULIAN: He's Cinderpelt's dad. 

LIZ: What?!  

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: That sucks.

PAZ: It's fucking lawless what they decide who's what's father in the early series.

JULIAN: I know. They just sort of assign dads at random.

PAZ: Like I said, all the cats were like polyamorous back then. And also the don't kiss don't tell policy.

JULIAN: God, the RiverClan stuff is rough. It's also a little bit– Fireheart spends like a good page or two being like, why does Bluestar want to go to RiverClan so bad? And then remembers her kits.

PAZ: I know. They needed a, it's a new book, we need to do the exposition again segment.

JULIAN: I think it's just funny that he forgot about them.

PAZ: He has a lot going on, you know? They do almost get caught, and Bluestar's very like, like dismissive of it. Bluestar, you are weak and sickly.

LIZ: She's so old.

JULIAN: She's very dismissive of the fact that anything bad could happen to them this whole journey.

PAZ: Yeah, she's also very dismissive of Graystripe, which was extremely funny. The exchange is like, Bluestar is like, I can't trust anyone.I can only trust you. You're the only one who told me about Tigerclaw. And Fireheart's like, I'm the only one who knew. And then she's just like, Graystripe knew and he didn't tell me. And Fireheart cannot respond, because she's right. It's so fucking funny. 

JULIAN: It's so funny.

LIZ: Yeah, like the very objective summaries say, Graystripe also sucks.

PAZ: It's so funny the narrative pointed it out because yeah, he did also  know and literally washed his little hands of it

LIZ: Just like, not my business. Not looking. I'm looking in the other direction.

PAZ: You know, Bluestar may be losing some of her reasoning skills, but she's spot on with that.

LIZ: It is very funny that Fireheart for like a hot second is like thinking, why does Bluestar also want to go to RiverClan? Does she also want to see Graystripe?

PAZ: No, Fireheart, you're the only one who wants to see Graystripe. The only one in the whole forest.

JULIAN: We don't even want to see Graystripe.

PAZ: No, I don't think RiverClan wants to see Graystripe. 

JULIAN: Oh god. How do you think he's doing?

LIZ: Bad.

PAZ: Probably bad. I was like, Fireheart, I don't think he's gonna be on patrol. He's probably on house arrest.

LIZ: Babysitting. I mean, not babysitting, because he's a dad. He's just looking after his own children, I hope. 

PAZ: I hope so. 

LIZ: Maybe if they're like his own children, he won't just fuck off.

JULIAN: I think he will. It sounds like he is very invested in taking care of the kids. So I think he will be good about that part.

PAZ: His one saving grace.

LIZ: Yeah. I think the narrative is like, definitely positioning him to go on the up from the very, very, very, very, very low that he was before.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

LIZ: Oh, there's also like, another cute little cat saying from when Fireheart does realize that Bluestar does not want to see Graystripe. It's "then it hit him like a fledgling dropping into his paws."

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: I love the cat sayings.

JULIAN: They're so good. 

PAZ: Kitties.

JULIAN: I did do– we hadn't done a said count for this book yet. 

PAZ: Oh, how could we forget?

JULIAN: So I did do a quick search. And we have 29.

LIZ: Oh! 

JULIAN: One of which is a dialogue tag. 

PAZ: [gasps] Is this is our first? 

LIZ: Who is this one?

JULIAN: It's our second, because Mistyfoot got to say "said" last book.

PAZ: Did she? I thought it was just like– I thought it was like not as dialogue. Wow.

JULIAN: No, it was an actual dialogue tag last time. 

PAZ: That's two "said" as dialogue tags across four books, everyone.

JULIAN: Do you want to know who gets to say "said"? 

PAZ: Yes. 

JULIAN: It is... let's see. It's Fireheart.

LIZ: [gasps] Protagonist.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's his protagonist privilege. He gets to say "said."

LIZ: Fireheart and Mistyfoot.

PAZ: Mistyfoot got to do it because she's old. 

LIZ: That's true.

JULIAN: She's not old.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Oh, wait, I'm thinking of Graypool. God, fucking all the RiverClan cats with their stupid mermaid names.

JULIAN: Mermaid names?

LIZ: You heard it here, folks. Okay, now that you've mentioned the "said" thing I'm looking at all of Bluestar's dialogue tags like in the scene, and she goes through a lot of them.

PAZ: She gets a "panted" as a dialogue tag.

JULIAN: Warned.

LIZ: She gets warned, snapped, remarked, went on.

PAZ: Demanded. She's going through a lot of emotions.

LIZ: Murmur. They're really mixing it up. It was pretty seamless to me, someone who's been reading I think four of these, right? So I may not even notice anymore.

JULIAN: Yeah, yeah. At this point. I don't notice anymore. 

PAZ: Yeah, it's just that–

LIZ: It's just "said" now.

PAZ: -that beautiful house style. Then we get to WindClan. Didn't go too well.

LIZ: Mm-mm.

JULIAN: Yeah, went pretty badly I would say.

PAZ: I was hoping they'd meet Onewhisker but no such luck. It was just three randos.

LIZ: One of them was– the apprentice was like, the baby that Fireheart helped.

PAZ: Was it? 

LIZ: Yeah, I think it mentioned that like the baby that Fireherat helped, like carry across.

PAZ: They mentioned the baby, but I don't think it was the apprentice. I think he was just reminiscing about the baby.

LIZ: Wow, Fireheart. That means you're old now.

PAZ: Yeah, they're still pretty pissed about Brokentail, which is fair.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's like it's understandable. It's also like, I get that you're pissed about Brokentail, but you shouldn't block off people's spiritual practices.

PAZ: Yeah, they are violating international law. So maybe don't do that.

JULIAN: Like, again, very understandable to be angry.

PAZ: Yeah, you can't just break the important like, land right spiritual role, though, just because you're angry.

LIZ: Such a stressful situation. Just imagine being Fireheart.

JULIAN: Oh my god. Reading this, I was like, just like imagining like, just him trying so hard to deescalate the situation that Bluestar has no interest in deescalating. 

LIZ: She was ready to throw down. 

PAZ: Yeah. She was like, if I die here, I die here. Let's go.

LIZ: Bluestar to the warriors, meet me in the snake hell pit. No, meet me in the rat pit, which is canonical. 

JULIAN: God. She can't go back in the rat pit. That's what got her last time.

LIZ: She doesn't care. 

PAZ: Yeah, she really doesn't at this point. He does manage to deescalate, though, by saying, we're just gonna leave. Good call, Fireheart. Yeah, but like I was saying earlier, I think Bluestar's desperation here to like the point of her not caring about her own safety does suggest to me she's like, being ghosted by StarClan. Because she just keeps repeating like no, like, StarClan, I have to speak with them.

LIZ: It's really sad. Oh, there is a part at the end of that, where Fireheart does just say like Brokentail died, and it doesn't really make a difference, because WindClan is just like, but you didn't kill him, did you? And Bluestar's like, of course not. And they're like, fucking knew it.

JULIAN: Oh my God, yeah.

PAZ: You should have lied. 

LIZ: You could have.

PAZ: You should have been like, yeah, we all fucking executed him publicly.

JULIAN: I mean, they still probably would have been mad about that because they like weren't allowed to participate.

LIZ: Yeah. I guess technically they did. If Yellowfang you know hadn't done it in secret and stuff.

PAZ: Yeah, only Fireheart knows that it was actually a murder. Like, for real. 

JULIAN: Right? 

PAZ: About that, Bluestar, I think ThunderClan are murderers. They get back to camp. Everyone's racist to Fireheart again.

LIZ: Ugh. 

PAZ: Fucking Dustpelt and Darkstripe show up and be like [whiny racist baby voice] why didn't you do anything, Fireheart? 

JULIAN: Hate them.

LIZ: He didn't want the President to die. 

PAZ: Yeah, right. 

LIZ: He didn't want his old lady mom to die.

PAZ: Yeah, I think it's also only him and Yellowfang that know that Bluestar only has one life left, though. I'm pretty sure. 

JULIAN: Yeah. 

PAZ: But still, you don't want your leader to just lose a life without needing to.

LIZ: For like a really stupid reason like, oh, we couldn't fucking just make the trip.

JULIAN: Right? Some real toxic masculinity coming out of Dustpelt and Longtail.

PAZ: For real. Oh my god. There's also a part where Darkstripe comes back with his apprentice, Fernpaw. And she's described as looking really tired. And it says like her fur is clumped and dusty. I'm just like, why did you give this poor sweet child this awful racist teacher?

JULIAN: Right. And she was like, she was the one who looked really nervous about having him as a mentor, too. Baby.

PAZ: Poor baby.

LIZ: What's he even teaching her?

PAZ: How to be mean.

LIZ: How to be mean and also racist

JULIAN: Dustpaw's racism lessons.

PAZ: It's Darkstripe, although I'm sure Dustpelt's also giving some racism lessons. 

JULIAN: I get the D names so mixed up. 

PAZ: I know. And they're both, like, shitty. It's like, not enough differentiation.

LIZ: I think we should have some like fuckin like, not like beautiful fancy cats also be like, evil. Instead of just like, very–

PAZ: Yeah, like fucking Dirttail.

LIZ: Yeah. Let's have all the dark cats be evil. This will be fine. 

JULIAN: Yeah. Yeah.

LIZ: Where's my evil orange cat?

PAZ: I guess Warriors really prescribes to evil names makes you evil, because that's just all ShadowClan. 

LIZ: I'm assuming like, it gets a little mixed up later.

PAZ: Yeah, I think so. I mean, we know they just get more and more with the names later. 

LIZ: So looking forward to that.

JULIAN: Right, there's no color assigned to Appledusk.

LIZ: Appledusk just sounds like some sort of fun cider.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like Halloween drink.

JULIAN: I would drink that like craft mead or whatever.

PAZ: Runningwind also shows up to be mean, but not racistly, more just like your student sucks. 

LIZ: Does Runningwind have an apprentice? 

PAZ: Yeah, Brightpaw. 

LIZ: Oh, I think I've already asked this. Sorry. But that's understandable. It's like, I'm busy.

PAZ: Yeah, then Cloudpaw has to get scolded for being a rowdy teen. Cloudpaw says something like– Fireheart's like, oh, why didn't you go hunting with Runningwind, and Cloudpaw's like, I prefer hunting alone. I'm like, you know what, I would also prefer hunting alone in this shitty clan where everyone wanted me to die exposed on a hill as a child.

JULIAN: Right. Do you think he knows or remembers about that?

PAZ: Well, I feel like some people still are pretty shitty towards him. 

JULIAN: Oh, yeah. People are definitely shitty towards him. I just, I don't know, does he know the extent of it?

PAZ: No, I think he was too young. I don't even know if his eyes were open when he was brought.

JULIAN: Aw.

LIZ: Aw. 

JULIAN: That's too little.

LIZ: I'm envisioning it. He's just like a little, like, white bean. 

PAZ: That's right.

LIZ: Like you put in chili. Do you put white beans in chili?

JULIAN: You can.

PAZ: You can. Fireheart's threat is Ashpaw and Fernpaw will become warriors before you if you don't step up your game.

LIZ: The ultimate like, teen threat, I think.

PAZ: Yeah, that'd be so embarrassing. You don't want to be a super senior, Cloudpaw.

LIZ: Fireheart should tell him about the time he was like, demoted from being a warrior to becoming like an apprentice again.

PAZ: But I think Cloudpaw was around for that.

LIZ: He was probably too young.

JULIAN: Yeah. Cloudpaw was like a kit at that point.

LIZ: He needs to remind him about it, like hey, buddy.

PAZ: What if Fireheart demoted Cloudpaw  to Cloudkit? He has the power.

LIZ: Demotes you to baby.

PAZ: That would teach him a lesson. That's kind of the end of all that reading.

LIZ: Yeah, they're slow chapters. They're just real tense.

PAZ: Yeah. A lot of emotional stuff happening, but not a lot of actual stuff happening.

JULIAN: Yeah. 

[meow]

JULIAN: What do we segment?

PAZ: I was saying we should read some of those casting lists, given the timeliness of Chris Pratt announced to be Mario. Beautiful casting choice, of course. No problems to be had. Exactly who I wanted to be Mario.

LIZ: Ugh. 

PAZ: But haven't you always wondered, well, what live action actors should be cast as a Warrior Cat? People online have answered this question for us.

LIZ: Extensively, actually. Where do we begin to start?

PAZ: Well, you were the one looking at them, Liz. Which one do you think we should check out?

LIZ: Apparently this is a thing you can do on IMBD, and I found a few of them. I don't want to spend too much time on this first one, because at the bottom is like just a summary that says, "I made this list to prove that literally anyone can make an IMBD list."

JULIAN: Oh, I see. 

LIZ: "Don't believe everything you read on the Internet, people."

PAZ: Well, this is a beautiful– this list is very funny. On the topic of Chris Pratt, I do wanna point out that–

LIZ: Yes?

PAZ: [laughing] They have cast Chris Pratt as Darkstripe, and I think actually that is correct.

LIZ: Yeah. God.

JULIAN: Logan Paul is Fireheart.

PAZ: This picture of Logan Paul, he's doing the I had to do it to 'em. Okay, you got to read the one below that too, of course.

JULIAN: Right, and then of course, Logan Paul as Fireheart, the counterpart for Graystripe would be Jake Paul.

LIZ: The way you said sounded a little like Jakepaw.

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Of course for the MILF herself, for our beloved elderly cat, we have Ariana Grande.

PAZ: As Bluestar. That's right.

JULIAN: For our villain, you know, the actor you think of when you think of a villain, Drake Bell for Tigerclaw.

PAZ: I'm gonna be 100% real. I don't know who the fuck this guy is. Oh, Drake and Josh. 

JULIAN: Yeah. 

PAZ: Wow, he looks different. He looks– 

LIZ: Cause he's old. 

PAZ: It's... oh, the years have gotten to him.

JULIAN: He was born in 1986. So like, he's up there.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Looking a little haggard.

LIZ: Um, we can go on. This one hurts a little. 

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: For our sweet gay baby boy Ravenpaw, we have Tom Holland.

LIZ: Ugh.

PAZ: That's a microaggression.

LIZ: Someone wants that. 

JULIAN: For Sandpaw, we have Billie Eilish.

PAZ: Was Billie Eilish in a movie? Sure, I guess.

JULIAN: Apparently she was in X-Men: Apocalypse. 

PAZ: Speaking of Lionheart, who we revisited today, Lionheart is Dwayne– sorry. Dwayne The Rock Johnson as Lionheart.

JULIAN: You know, they do say he's pretty big.

PAZ: Yeah. They do say that. See, that's what I'm saying about Lionheart should have been the sexy StarClan cat.

JULIAN: I can't stop laughing about their casting choice for the actual sexy StarClan cat. For the queen of sweet scents herself, Spottedleaf, we have Taylor Swift.

PAZ: Oh god. I definitely don't know who this next person is.

JULIAN: I've never heard of this person. Noah Monk as Smudge? He's from The Goldbergs, apparently.

PAZ: Hope someone gets a kick out of that.

JULIAN: Nic Cage is Longtail.

PAZ: I actually think their casting for Longtail, Darkstripe, and– 

JULIAN: I don't think they actually gave Chris Pratt a role.

PAZ: Oh, Chris– I guess maybe Chris Pratt's just there.

JULIAN: I think Chris Pratt is "I made this list to prove that literally anyone can make a list."

PAZ: Okay, we're sorry. Darkstripe is actually Adam Sandler.

LIZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Also very good.

PAZ: I'm choosing to believe Chris Pratt is Dustpelt then.

LIZ: Ugh.

JULIAN: Oh, there we go. 

PAZ: Oh, yeah. Incredible list. I don't know. I don't even know.

LIZ: If this was like 2000, let's say like, 15, and Warrior Cats was a bit more mainstream, this would have just been like a Buzzfeed listicle. I mean, it's a very successful book series, but it's not like, you know, bleep out Harry Potter here. But I think that's what it would have been. 

JULIAN: I'm scrolling down through the other IMDb one that you linked. And it's actually not bad, I would say.

PAZ: There are some funny ones here.

JULIAN: Like, I think Sigourney Weaver would make a great Bluestar.

PAZ: She would, it's just very funny to imagine.

LIZ: She came up multiple times when I searched for Warrior Cats movie fancasts for Bluestar.

PAZ: Is this a different Andrew Garfield as Graystripe? Oh my god. 

LIZ: Yes. 

PAZ: This is what the people want, apparently.

JULIAN: Um, I don't know a lot of these actors. Aaron Paul is Stormfur. That's so funny.

PAZ: We got to shout out Tallstar's actor. 

LIZ: Liam Neeson.

PAZ: That's right.

JULIAN: Are they just imagining Tallstar having like a very strong Irish accent?

LIZ: I don't see why not. 

PAZ: Good for him.

JULIAN: I think that could be fun. I think Ian McShane as Brokenstar is an incredible casting.

LIZ: A lot of these are just like voice actors that would probably make sense.

PAZ: Yeah, yeah.

JULIAN: You know, it's nice to see a fan cast that actually shouts out some voice actors.

PAZ: Yeah, like Laura Bailey is Princess.

LIZ: I'm sorry, I can only think of– that's the Critical Role lady, right? 

PAZ: Yeah, yeah.

JULIAN: Well, if we scroll a little further down, we do have Matt Mercer as Mudclaw?

PAZ: That's the WindClan cat.

LIZ: Oh, right. 

PAZ: Who was mean in these chapters. 

LIZ: All right, then we're fine.

PAZ: [laughter] Oh my God. They have cast Darkstripe as Tom Hardy.

LIZ: Why? 

PAZ: Gonna do his fucking Bane voice or whatever that Batman villain was.

JULIAN: Um.

PAZ: Yes?

JULIAN: Vic Mignogna as Onewhisker. How could they do this to us?

LIZ: Hate crime. This is a hate crime.

PAZ: That is homophobic. You can't. Also why is the picture of Vic Mignon– how do you say his last name? I don't know. 

LIZ: You don't have to.

JULIAN: Mignogna. 

PAZ: That guy.  Why is the picture of him a Star Trek picture?

JULIAN: I think he was– it looks like he was in Star Trek.

LIZ: Double hate crime.

JULIAN: Bryce Papenbrook, who apparently is a voice actor in Attack on Titan, is Cloudpaw, which is awful to me.

LIZ: Ugh.

PAZ: No, don't do that to our little atheist.

LIZ: Ugh.

JULIAN: [yelps] 

PAZ: People are really going hard for these Lionheart castings.

LIZ: Is Lionheart the one who died in this series?

JULIAN: Yes.

PAZ: Yeah, no, no, no, the first book. 

LIZ: Yeah. 

PAZ: Yeah. 

LIZ: Hello? 

PAZ: This person has decided Lionheart should be Viggo Mortensen.

JULIAN: Right above that we have Diane Keaton as Yellowfang.

LIZ: What the fuck? Diane Keaton opposite Sigourney Weaver as cats.

JULIAN: Honestly, incredible.

PAZ: That's right.

JULIAN: Emilia Clarke is of course Spottedleaf. She's even wearing leopard print in this picture of her that they've chosen.

PAZ: Perfect.

LIZ: They worked so hard for this.

JULIAN: Oh my god, the um– oh well. Nevermind, that's spoilers.

LIZ: All right. 

JULIAN: Sorry. 

LIZ: It's the channel I can't get into.

PAZ: There's some powerful pulls in this one, I would say.

JULIAN: I'll just say that the dad from Supernatural does make an appearance. And it's not who you think it should be.

PAZ: Our listeners can guess who that is.

JULIAN: Shall we go through the Wattpad?

PAZ: What is the Wattpad one? Hold on.

JULIAN: The Wattpad Warrior Cats Dream Cast. 

LIZ: You have to click on every name to see the fan cast.

PAZ: Oh my god. Wattpad is an evil website. What is this?

LIZ: I don't have any idea how it works.

JULIAN: It's so that you have to load more ads because there's more pages. It's like listicles. 

PAZ: [snorts]

JULIAN: Yet another Sigourney Weaver as Bluestar.

LIZ: Again, yep.

PAZ: Wow, these Fireheart castings. Let me just run through them. So this person has suggested Tom Holland as Fireheart. "(American accent or British. Either one is fine.)" But they have some other suggestions. "A happy middle could be Jake Gyllenhaal. For a more mature version, Ewan McGregor, Scottish or American accent.) 

LIZ: [laughter] Fireheart? 

PAZ: That's right, yeah.

LIZ: Okay.

JULIAN: Obviously for Sandstorm. I say obviously. It's Emily Browning.

LIZ: She's shown up a lot, too.

PAZ: I'm so bad at actors. I'm not really sure who that is. 

LIZ: I don't know. I've heard her name a lot.  All I know from–

JULIAN: She's in– 

LIZ: Yes?

JULIAN: She's in Devil Wears Prada. She's like the other assistant.

LIZ: Oh, okay.

JULIAN: I mean, I'm sure she's made other stuff also, but um.

LIZ: I said oh like I've seen– I've never seen the movie in my life. 

PAZ: Oh my god. This casting for Tigerclaw.

LIZ: Yes?

PAZ: It's Clancy Brown. I'm choosing to believe that this is not like– we're not like VAing cats. They're just dressed up like in Cats the musical. 

JULIAN: Yeah, this is Cats the musical CGI. 

PAZ: Yeah, that's right.

JULIAN: James Earl Jones's face will be on screen as Lionheart.

LIZ: We're skipping the one that brought us here, though.

JULIAN: Right, of course. 

PAZ: Of course, go ahead.

LIZ: Graystripe... is... Andrew Garfield British or American.

PAZ: God. 

LIZ: That's his whole name. Andrew Garfield British or American.  

PAZ: Oh my god. That's his full name. I always love to see who people cast as Darkstripe. Darkstripe, according to this person, should be Hugh Jackman.

JULIAN: Um, Cloris Leachman, who I don't know, is Yellowfang. But she looks like a real–

PAZ: She looks old.

JULIAN: A real grande dame. I think she would be good.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: I don't know this Spottedleaf. Bryce Dallas Howard? Who is she? Oh, she was the lady from Jurassic World.

PAZ: I'm sorry. I know this is jumping into the next series, but I had to see who they were casting for Ashfur. 

LIZ: Yes? 

PAZ: It's Dylan O'Brien from Teen Wolf.

LIZ: The vibes of this.

JULIAN: No!

PAZ: Oh man. Oh, that took it out of me.

LIZ: That's some Wattpad vibes.

PAZ: Wait, what?

JULIAN: They've cast Chris Pratt as Cloudpaw!

LIZ: What?!

PAZ: No!

LIZ: What?!

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: This wasn't the day for this. This is too close. I don't like it.

JULIAN: For my little boy? 

LIZ: Evil.

PAZ: Don't you dare. 

LIZ: Evil casting. Chrispaw. 

PAZ: Chrispaw, no. Well, wow.

JULIAN: Wow. 

LIZ: I can't go on.

PAZ: The fact that Chris Pratt showed up on a joke list but also then a legitimate list really, really gets you.

JULIAN: Horrifying. 

PAZ: What was the other thing you linked?

LIZ: Okay, it's like this thing called Ideas Fandom Wiki, which I think is just like, you make wiki pages for things that are your ideas, so it's just like fanon but in the style of a wiki page. And this is a wiki page that is at least six years old, because one of the comments is from 2015. And it's for a Warrior Cats film by Disney, to be released in 2026. If we're all here, can we just have a look at the mock up of the cover? Like poster?

PAZ: Very Disney cats.

JULIAN: Extremely Disney. Um, I mean they said on their logo that it's Disney's Warriors, based off the series. Fireheart looks very determined. Bluestar has eyeshadow.

LIZ: And eyebrows. She's real sexy for some reason.

JULIAN: Well, so is Sandstorm. Look at her down in the bottom right. 

PAZ: Yeah, she has more intense eye shadow.

JULIAN: She has very intense eye shadow. She has eyelashes, and she has the sexy head tilt.

LIZ: She's got like, she has the thing too that artists who do the Disney style on DeviantArt do with like, animals and stuff, where like it's not boobs. It's just fur. But it is boobs.

JULIAN: Right. Graystripe looks incredibly dumb. 

PAZ: Good.

LIZ: Accurate.

JULIAN: He's got his little mouth open, and he's just very perky. He's here to help. 

LIZ: Best friend.

JULIAN: He's your protagonist assistant JRPG best friend. Tigerstripe– Tiger– 

LIZ: Yes? 

JULIAN: We're four books in. I know the villain's name.

LIZ: It's really hard.

JULIAN: He's got a real growl going. He's growling. 

PAZ: Looking a little evil. 

JULIAN: Real eye glint red eyes situation. I hate that the whites of their eyes are tinted the color of their regular eyes.

PAZ: Not on Graystripe.

JULIAN: No, his are tinted a little yellow. It's just harder to tell because it's yellow. 

LIZ: But it does make him look like he has more human eyes, which I hate.

PAZ: This is just written in like, this is a real wiki article style. Completely made up facts. It's fascinating.

JULIAN: They've cast KJ Apa as Fireheart.

LIZ: Can we fuckin read the supporting roles? 

PAZ: Please. 

LIZ: Ansel Elgort, Estelle, Hugh Jackman again, Michelle Fairley, Gina Rodriguez, Giancarlo Esposito, and a bunch of other people who I don't know because I don't watch movies.

PAZ: Okay, who do you think– they don't attribute any characters to– 

JULIAN: Oh, they do.

PAZ: Oh they do? 

LIZ: All right. Oh boy. 

JULIAN: Scroll down and click on Cast.

PAZ: Oh boy. Oh my god.

LIZ: Liz, there's spoilers.

PAZ: Oh my god, this is so long. Holy shit.

JULIAN: There's spoilers, so.

LIZ: Basically every single person, right?

JULIAN: Yeah, don't look at it, Liz.

LIZ: I know, I'm rattling the bars of my no spoilers jail.

JULIAN: I'm sorry. Oh, this is a different cast. 

PAZ: What?

LIZ: Yeah, this is a wiki page that anyone can edit. So it has been edited since at least 2015. Last edited 17 days ago.

JULIAN: They've cast Mila Kunis as Sandstorm, Jeff Bridges as Jake, and Hugh Jackman as Tigerclaw.

PAZ: Hugh Jackman as Tigerclaw, you know, I could see it.

JULIAN: Who the fuck is Ryan Malgarini? Best known for his role as Harry Coleman in Freaky Friday? 

PAZ: What? 

LIZ: What? 

JULIAN: That's who they've cast as Fireheart. 

PAZ: What? 

JULIAN: Don't worry though, Paul Rudd is Graystripe.

PAZ: That's right. Oh my god, I'm sorry. I think somebody invented a villain. Invented a villain for this film. "Jim Cummings as Borzen, the blood hybrid of various clans that attacks the clans and Fireheart's archnemesis."

LIZ: Excuse me, what?

PAZ: "The film's hidden true main antagonist."

JULIAN: Yeah, they've also invented somebody called Embit. "A super dangerous tom and often nicknamed the forest assassin and also Graystripe's archnemesis."

LIZ: Graystripe's archnemesis? 

JULIAN: "The film's true secondary antagonist."

PAZ: I'm losing it.

LIZ: I'm still– I can't get over how their made up antagonist is someone who's a blood hybrid? Excuse me? You can't do that.

PAZ: I know some 12 year old has written this like fic or this RP with their friend, and they realized they could edit this to make their dreams come true. And they did with Borzen and Embit.

JULIAN: "The film also shared some similarities to Far Cry 3."

LIZ: Excuse me?

JULIAN: Ah yeah, there's a bunch of characterization things that they've apparently pulled from characters in Far Cry 3. I don't know anything about Far Cry 3. This seems like bad mental illness takes. 

LIZ: Can we read the ones for Borzen though?

JULIAN: Yeah. "Some true facts of Borzen are: he is often nicknamed Fraglans which one of the Latin translations of monstrous." 

LIZ: You know, cats love Latin. 

JULIAN: "There were myths, and legends focusing on Borzen." [shrieking]

LIZ: What is it?

JULIAN: I'm crying. [increasingly hysterical]

LIZ: Anyone?

PAZ: Go ahead, Julian.

JULIAN: [just absolutely losing it]

LIZ: Go on, Julian. You can do it.

JULIAN: I'm crying. Okay. I got it. Okay. [laughing] "His abilities are based off the Indominous Rex (another hybrid but from Jurassic World.)"

PAZ: What is this hybrid lore?

Oh my god. 

JULIAN: And then the last, the fourth one, in case we didn't already know, "Borzen is a blood hybrid." 

PAZ: That's right.

LIZ: Don't call someone that. Also realistically for cats, that's fucking everyone in Warriors.

PAZ: Hold on, I got to do a Google search. I gotta see if Borzen appears anywhere else. Gonna search Borzen blood hybrid.

LIZ: There's three comments.

JULIAN: Also, fraglans does not mean monstrous. It means, well, I mean, mostly it means like burning, like passionate. Scorching. You can use monstrous but that's for like a crime, like an outrageous crime. It's not like monster.

PAZ: I only got one hit for that search and it was this wiki article.

JULIAN: Oh my God. 

LIZ: This is the only place.

PAZ: Wait, holy shit. Disney Fanon Wiki, Borzen. "Borzen is the true main antagonist of Disney's 2021 animated film Warriors."

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: I have to–

PAZ: Holy shit. Holy shit.

JULIAN: Hold up. I got to go into the edit summaries. And I need to find out who added Borzen. 

PAZ: Can I please read Borzen's little bio on the Disney Fanon?

JULIAN: Yes please.

PAZ: Okay, "background information. Inspiration: Scar. Character information. Goal: to attack the clans (failed). Enemies: Fireheart, Graystripe. Paraphernalia: his teeth and claws."

LIZ: Wait a minute. Hey, that's taken. Tigerclaw.

PAZ: "Fate: gets killed by Fireheart." No, his paraphernalia. You know, his outfit. His teeth and claws.

LIZ: The Lion King song that Scar has, that's in it, isn't it?

PAZ: Is that what he says?

LIZ: I don't know.

PAZ: Oh my god, this is killing me.

JULIAN: Borzen is not here as of 2015.

PAZ: I feel like I'm assembling like a conspiracy board. Paper trails of Borzen. Oh my God, why won't this website load?

LIZ: You have to accept it for what it is. Borzen was a flash in the pan, a shooting star. Just for this, just for us? Isn't the appeal like also the mystery?

PAZ: I just got to know more about Borzen.

JULIAN: The mystery of Borzen. 

PAZ: I think that's the end of Borzen, is those two wiki articles. Wow.

JULIAN: Oh my god. This one has songs. 

PAZ: What?

JULIAN: Muppetlover16 I think is the person who has added Borzen.

LIZ: Nothing but support, except for the fact that you shouldn't call someone a blood hybrid.

PAZ: I don't understand, because– 

LIZ: Yes? 

PAZ: Who's the blood– the fucking another hybrid from Jurassic World? What is this intricate, like cross universe reality that Muppetlover has created?

JULIAN: Oh no, I'm sorry. It was not Muppetlover.  This is xxDinoflamerxx. 

PAZ: Oh my God. 

JULIAN: The creator of the original page.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Did Borzen just get like– is Borzen like a sabertooth tiger, and then they like–

PAZ: Fuck yeah.

LIZ: Inserted his DNA into like a little kitty.

PAZ: Oh my god, you might be right. If it's from Jurassic World. Holy shit.

LIZ: But I think he's still like the size of a regular cat. He just looks like one of those sabertooth tiger thingies. Because I think if he was a regular size sabertooth tiger, just all the cats would get eaten.

PAZ: Yeah, he wouldn't have failed in attacking ThunderClan. 

LIZ: No. Maybe the enormous size of his teeth is like weighing him down when he's such a little guy.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: That's definitely not the opposite of how it works, right?

PAZ: I need to also read the development and production section. "The film's development and production started when director Rob Minkoff talked to Max Charles on his Twitter video chat. He stated, 'hey, I remember that you were in Mr. Peabody and Sherman. Apparently, I am planning to make this film based off this book series. Care to join in?' And with Max accepting, the crew was assembled and the film was in active development." That is definitely how films are made. 

JULIAN: Uh-huh. 

LIZ: Yep. 

PAZ: Uh-huh.

LIZ: Yeah, I don't see any problem with that. 

JULIAN: Borzen appears on 18th January 2016 by Attackofthecatpeople69. Borzen gets the musical number "Why Me?" a song that was originally featured in Aladdin but later cut from the film. 

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Wow. Wait, Attackofthecatpeople69. 

PAZ: Nice. 

LIZ: This person is one of the three comments on this article. And what they comment is, "Disney wouldn't make the Warriors movie because Warriors is a ripoff of The Lion King (even though I like Warriors.)" 

PAZ: What?

JULIAN: Well, what do you mean– you have to believe in this project. 

LIZ: Hello?

JULIAN: You invented Borzen. 

PAZ: How?

JULIAN: They really wanted the release date to be July 23rd, 2021.

LIZ: Aw. 

JULIAN: When they first added Borzen in 2016.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Hasn't happened yet.

LIZ: You know, keep hope alive. Just don't give up.

JULIAN: Oh, they do have Michael Jackson's "Bad" as part of the soundtrack when Tigerclaw appears.

PAZ: I'll have you know, this film was nominated for several Academy Awards.

LIZ: Fucking makes sense to me. Right? Obviously. 

PAZ: Obviously. 

LIZ: Obviously. 

PAZ: You know, "it generally received positive reviews from critics, though it also received criticism for its vague plot, cumbersome amount of characters, and efforts to combine several storylines into the film." 

JULIAN: Oh my god. 

PAZ: Wow. 

LIZ: Okay, I can't– this is– you can leave this in if it's not true. But if it's true, there's this part in like the big wiki summary thing that says "Barley, a former member of BloodClan."

PAZ: Why are you reading that, Liz? We said don't read that.

LIZ: Is BloodClan real?

PAZ: Liz! We told you not to read it.

LIZ: Fucking Borzen's in here. How do I know what's real or not?

PAZ: We told you! It's on recording, and you said, okay, I won't read. 

LIZ: Listen, I don't know shit. I can't tell Tigerclaw from anyone else.

PAZ: Anyway, I think what you read is fanon. But still, why did you read it? 

LIZ: I like to read. 

PAZ: I'm gonna come in there and take your computer away. Well, Liz can't contain herself, so I think we need to end it.

LIZ: This was a mistake.

JULIAN: I have one final casting choice here.

PAZ: Okay, please. 

JULIAN: Keegan Michael Key is Dustpelt.

LIZ: [muffled] I'm covering my face. Today, you can't do this today. Why did we do this today?

JULIAN: Because of the psychic damage dealt to us by the Mario casting?

LIZ: I'm crying.

PAZ: Oh god. 

JULIAN: We were in a weakened state.

PAZ: We need to stop recording. It's spiraling out of control. This is all Borzen's fault.

LIZ: We had such energy last recording. I'm like turning into dust.

JULIAN: I'm sorry also at how much I must have blown my audio out when I was faced with the fact that Borzen was based off of Indominous Rex, which I'm still like literal tears in my eyes about.

LIZ: Did you guys ever like– obviously not on wiki, because I think– I don't know. Are we all too old to do that? But was there a point in your little child life where you're like, what if this book was made better by putting a different person in here from this other thing I like?

PAZ: Probably, I don't know. I don't remember. 

JULIAN: Oh, yeah.

LIZ: Who would you want to put in Warrior Cats?

PAZ: I have no memory.

JULIAN: Um, I've suddenly forgotten every character I've ever known.

PAZ: Fero. No.

LIZ: No, I think he fits in perfectly.

JULIAN: No, he does. He's a real rowdy boy. I think he'd really shake up the clans.

LIZ: He's definitely a rogue, and everyone is like, who's this guy?

PAZ: Um.

JULIAN: Um.

LIZ: I know what I'm gonna put in, but.

PAZ: [confidently] Winston from Overwatch. 

JULIAN: Is that the gorilla? 

PAZ: Yes. 

JULIAN: I'm not a gamer. I would put in Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh. I want him to wander into the forest and be confronted by the cats. 

PAZ: They would kill him.

JULIAN: I think it would be a learning experience for him.

LIZ: Fucking battle-hardened Christopher Robin.

PAZ: Who would you put in, Liz?

LIZ: One owl from Guardians of Ga'hoole. 

PAZ: Which one?

LIZ: Any one, but don't tell them it's gonna happen. Just have it happen like in their sleep.

PAZ: You mean, like the owl when they get transported?

LIZ: Yeah, just drop them in the middle of like ThunderClan or something. 

PAZ: They'd just kill all the cats. 

LIZ: They're not going to sleep with all their like, owl gauntlets on, maybe.

PAZ: We just read the beginning of Rising Storm about how owls eat all the kits.

LIZ: Bluestar voice, why is this owl fucking talking to me?

PAZ: We have to end this. Mistakes were made.

LIZ: I'm too weakened to go on. 

JULIAN: You're the one who ends things, Paz. Pull the trigger, Piglet.

PAZ: You can find the show @staircast on Twitter. You can support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/staircast. You can send us emails to [email protected]. That's it. Bye, everyone. May StarClan light your path. Bye.

LIZ: Is it lighting ours?

JULIAN: No.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: We've been abandoned. Bye, everyone.

[outro music]

PAZ: Liz, you betrayed our direct orders.

LIZ: Fuck the warrior code.

PAZ: You'll never become a warrior.

LIZ: I'm not gonna remember shit in like three episodes. Don't worry. Paz, I asked you last night what did we have for breakfast like two nights ago and I didn't know? 

PAZ: That's different. 

LIZ: Is it?

JULIAN: Fucking Chris Pratt as Cloudpaw over here. I'm sorry, Liz.

LIZ: That made me feel all icky.

PAZ: We didn't even check what date that was like posted.

LIZ: I think the Chris Pratt one was from at least two years ago.

PAZ: That's different from Chris Pratt being cast as Mario in 2021.

LIZ: It got so dark while we recorded.

PAZ: I know. Let's clap.

#ep 28 #transcript #adam sandler as darkstripe #rising storm ep

[staircasttext]

Episode 52: Chapters 25-27

Chapter 25

Whitestorm talks to Firestar about the possible consequences of the approaching battle with Scourge, asking if leaving the forest is a possibility because cats will inevitably die fighting BloodClan. Firestar is grateful for his perspective but is adamant that they shouldn’t leave the forest. Afterward, Firestar is unable to sleep and decides to take a walk alone, ending up at Sunningrocks. He looks to Silverpelt, beseeching StarClan for any guidance and wondering if Bluestar was right to lose faith in them. Exhausted, he falls asleep in a hollow and has a dream about StarClan. 

In his dream are new and old familiar cats, and for once Firestar is angry enough to ask why they allowed Tigerstar to come to power and why they won’t help ThunderClan, since they are the ones who rule the forest. Bluestar appears and says StarClan doesn’t rule the forest and that while they watch over the cats, they don’t interfere so that everyone will still have free will. She also says that Firestar is their chosen one and that his faith will give him the strength he needs, which restores Firestar’s confidence in both himself and StarClan as he wakes up to a new day.

Chapter 26

As Firestar awakens, he looks over to RiverClan and wonders how Leopardstar is coping. He suddenly realizes that the four forest clans can become one, like StarClan said, and fight against BloodClan together. A ThunderClan patrol (Cloudtail, Graystripe, Sandstorm, and Bramblepaw) shows up and he quickly tells him his new plan to talk to Leopardstar. They head to the old TigerClan camp and Bramblepaw asks if he can speak with Tawnypaw, to which Firestar says yes.

At the camp, Bonehill is crumbling and ShadowClan and RiverClan cats are there together, looking haunted and defeated. Leopardstar looks like shit but is still trying to lead as the “sole leader of TigerClan”, with the ShadowClan deputy nearby. They are both skeptical about Firestar’s plan to join all the forest clans, but listen anyway, having no other options. They also talk about Tigerstar’s motivations for bringing in BloodClan. A ShadowClan cat, Boulder, reveals how he was forced to introduce Tigerstar to Scourge because he was a former BloodClan member. 

While Leopardstar and the ShadowClan deputy make their decision, Bramblepaw and Firestar talk to Tawnypaw. She speaks about how the other cats shunned her for being Tigerstar’s daughter. Firestar apologizes for his own treatment of both her and Bramblepaw and Bramblepaw is hopeful that she’ll be allowed back in the clan, but Tawnypaw refuses. She decides to stay in ShadowClan for herself and to be a better warrior. Eventually RiverClan and ShadowClan agree  with Firestar’s plan, asking him to lead them. Darkstripe, who is also there, is disgusted and leaves. Leopardstar and the others begin to take apart the Bonehill. Firestar, despite his success, feels a sense of foreboding for the future.

Chapter 27

The morning before the battle, Firestar worries and tries to get the clan prepared. He talks to Cinderpelt about her own preparations, mentioning his StarClan dream to her but saying there is no time to discuss it, hoping that it’s a good omen anyway. He then talks to Speckletail, trying to tactfully ask her to stay behind with the other elders and Willowpelt’s kits, ostensibly because she can protect them if something goes wrong at camp, but also because she is elderly too. She agrees. Meanwhile, Firestar finally lets Brightheart know that she can come fight with the other warriors. As he watches everyone in the camp prepare and help each other, he feels a surge of pride and warmth for them. He and Whitestorm have lunch together, wherein Whitestorm gives off his biggest death flag yet, telling Firestar how proud he is to have been his deputy. Afterward, Firestar gathers everyone for some final words of encouragement and they all head toward Fourtrees.

#summary #the darkest hour ep

[staircasttext]

Episode 51: Chapters 21-24

Chapter 21

The next day, everyone is preparing for the meeting at Fourtrees with Tigerstar. Firestar decides to leave Whitestorm and many warriors behind to protect the camp in case Tigerstar tries a sneak attack. Then Firestar asks Cinderpelt if she’s had any visions from StarClan. When she says no, he becomes worried why they wouldn’t speak to their clan before an event like today, but Cinderpelt is resolute that StarClan hasn’t forsaken them.

Firestar and his warriors go to Fourtrees, where they meet Tallstar and the WindClan cats, who look scarred but more determined than ever. He thinks about their two clans as LionClan, fighting together. When Tigerstar and his group arrive, he and Firestar trade jabs about the escape of the RiverClan prisoners from TigerClan. Then Tigerstar cuts to the chase--join TigerClan or be destroyed. ThunderClan and WindClan remain resolute in their refusal, but at that moment Bramblepaw sees Tawnypaw behind a ShadowClan warrior. Tigerstar says she joined TigerClan willingly and asks Bramblepaw to do the same, but Bramblepaw rejects him completely. As they all prepare to fight, Tigerstar’s deputy makes a signal and a group of incredibly stinky unknown cats comes into the clearing, obviously not from the forest.

Chapter 22

At first, it looks like the unknown cats may be kittypets because some of them have collars. Among them are a huge muscular black and white cat and a smaller black cat. To everyone’s shock, Tigerstar introduces the group of cats as BloodClan and says they’ve come from Twolegplace to join him and fight ThunderClan and WindClan. They realize these must be the rogues scented around ThunderClan. As Tigerstar gloats that he’s become more powerful than StarClan, Firestar refuses to join again and prepares to fight. However, when Tigerstar orders BloodClan to attack, not a single cat moves.

Scourge, the small black cat, introduces himself as BloodClan’s leader and says his cats will only listen to him. Tigerstar is in disbelief at Scourge, so Firestar takes the opportunity to stoke the flames of drama and sow some seeds of discontent between the two leaders. He notices Scourge is wearing lots of teeth, including cat teeth, presumably from killing other cats. Firestar greets Scourge and calls Tigerstar out for being a dishonorable murderer who will betray any promises he made, listing all the cats he’s killed and hurt, and ending with his plan to destroy ThunderClan with the dog pack and his failure to do so. Scourge looks thoughtful and reveals that he knew about the dog plan, but not that Tigerstar had failed, and decides his Clan will not fight today at all.

Tigerstar is furious and attacks Scourge, but Scourge easily knocks him over and slashes at him with his dog teeth-enforced claws to deliver a fatal stomach wound. Firestar and the others watch in horror as Tigerstar bleeds out through all nine of his lives, the wound being so terrible that not even StarClan could heal them. All the TigerClan warriors flee in panic while WindClan and ThunderClan try to stay firm. As Firestar struggles with his shock at Tigerstar’s death, Scourge states that this is what happens to those who try to control BloodClan and that they have no home to return to. He gives Firestar three days to decide to leave to fight them.

Chapter 23

As Scourge leaves, Firestar is still grappling with what has just happened. He feels an unexpected grief for Tigerstar’s death and terror for what will happen next. Tallstar reiterates WindClan’s determination to stay and fight together with ThunderClan and both clans return home for now. On the way back, Bramblepaw talks to Fireheart about how he hated his father but never wanted him to die like that. Firestar tries to comfort him, but Bramblepaw remains unsure of whether he’ll ever escape his father’s shadow. He hopes his sister will be allowed back into the clan, distraught at why she would choose to leave, but knows her chances are slim.

When they’re back home, Firestar tells the rest of the clan about BloodClan and immediately starts making preparations for battle. He orders extra patrols both for protection and to see what happened to RiverClan, announces that everyone in the clan has to be prepared to fight, and asks Sandstorm to help train the kits to defend themselves if the camp is attacked. Graystripe is picked as a training supervisor (??????), Brightheart volunteers to fight and Fireheart offers her a warrior assessment, and Fernpaw is tasked with helping Cinderpelt as she prepares.

Chapter 24

The next morning, everyone is preparing in some way--training, patching up camp barriers, and catching fresh-kill. Then Ravenpaw and Barley arrive, offering to help and some information too. Barley reveals that he was born in Twolegplace and was once a member of BloodClan. He talks about the cruelty of BloodClan toward even its own clanmates and how he eventually escaped to the farm he lives at now. He says Scourge’s greatest weapon and weakness is that he doesn’t believe in StarClan, meaning they don’t follow the warrior code. Ravenpaw and Barley both promise to help in the upcoming battle, which Firestar is deeply grateful for.

Later on, Longtail reports that BloodClan is hiding in ShadowClan territory and that ShadowClan and RiverClan are likely hiding in RiverClan together. Graystripe updates Firestar with how well the training is going with everyone, Sandstorm’s training of the kits is going so well that they all want her for a mentor when they’re old enough, and Brightheart’s battle training is going very well. Firestar then asks Cloudtail to come with him and they quickly go to visit Princess and warn her to stay inside because of the dangers of Scourge and BloodClan. She already suspected something was happening but wishes them well and promises to stay careful.

#summary #the darkest hour ep

[staircasttext]

Episode 49: Chapters 13-16

Chapter 13

After the storm, Firestar leads everyone back to camp and is relieved to see that Tigerstar hasn't attacked yet. He tells Whitestorm and some other warriors what happened with Tigerstar and his new TigerClan. When Firestar orders extra patrols as a precaution, Cloudtail is eager to volunteer. Firestar also asks Cinderpelt if she really thinks the storm was a sign from StarClan, which she doesn't believe.

Later on, Firestar is training Bramblepaw and is happy with how he is progressing. Then Bramblepaw asks why it's such a bad idea to join into one big Clan like TigerClan, which upsets Firestar. He explains to Bramblepaw that Tigerstar wouldn't share but would control everyone instead. The question worries him and makes him wonder if Bramblepaw is as loyal as he'd been starting to hope.

Some time later, Cloudtail asks Firestar to observe how his and Brightheart's training has been going. Firestar is initially and internally skeptical, but quickly changes his tune when he sees how well Brightheart is doing as even joins in the training himself. He encourages her to keep practicing and says she might be able to teach something to the clan in the future.

After the storm, food is hard to find. While out in the forest, Firestar sees a vision in a stream of a lion in his own reflection and then a vision of Spottedleaf. He is confused and in disbelief, wondering if StarClan means for a new clan to arise, like the great clans of legend, and for him to lead it.

Chapter 14

Graystripe is about to ask Firestar something when he sees Tawnypaw storm out of the elders den, followed by a worried-looking Bramblepaw. When Firestar asks her what's wrong, Tawnypaw says that Smallear bullies her because Tigerstar is her father. Firestar tries to calm her down with mixed success. When she storms off again, he promises Bramblepaw that he'll talk to Smallear later.

Afterward, Graystripe speaks to him again and says he needs to check on his kits because Tigerstar has taken over RiverClan. Firestar knows it's a bad idea and instead proposes a worse idea: he, the new leader of an enemy clan, will go with Graystripe too. In secret, without telling anyone. As they head out, they bump into Ravenpaw who has come to the camp to pay his respects to Bluestar. They instantly tell him their plan as well as the TigerClan update, and Ravenpaw immediately decides to help them.

The three of them sneak into RiverClan territory and encounter rotting freshkill leading to an unknown clearing. In the clearing is the hill of bones from Firestar's dream, surrounded by ShadowClan cats and carrion. Tigerstar leaps onto the bone hill to call a meeting, ordering for the "prisoners" to be brought out: Stonefur and Graystripe's kits, Featherpaw and Stormpaw.

Chapter 15

Graystripe is horrified and wants to jump in and save his kits, but Firestar and Ravenpaw hold him back. Tigerstar makes a grand speech about loyalty and how half-Clan cats like Stonefur and the two apprentices could never be loyal, which Stonefur furiously protests, saying he has always been loyal to RiverClan. Tigerstar says he can prove it by killing Graystripe's kits. Leopardstar is there and seems in over her head, unable and unwilling to defend her deputy. Stonefur refuses and Tigerstar orders Darkstripe to kill him. Even weakened, Stonefur puts up a good fight but when Tigerstar orders his own deputy to help, he is finally killed.

Chapter 16

Tigerstar mocks Darkstripe for not being able to kill Stonefur on his own and decides to keep Featherpaw and Stormpaw alive for now. The meeting ends and the apprentices are taken back to their prison. Graystripe wants to rescue them right away, but the others convince him to follow a plan instead. Ravenpaw suggests they roll in some rotten fresh kill to disguise their scent. They find that the kits are being held in a hole guarded by Jaggedtooth, and Ravenpaw pretends to be a RiverClan warrior with a message from Tigerstar to send Jaggedtooth away. They manage to sneak Graystripe's kits and Mistyfoot out but their escape is soon noticed.

#summary #the darkest hour ep