starship-suggestion

[starship-suggestion]

the cameras flicker the cameras blink something behind them is watching you something behind them is staring at you something behind them is screaming for mercy

#ahh love this addition #reblog #suggestion #cameras

[starship-suggestion]

“9 leeches”

(text sourced from The Schmidt sting pain index)

[starship-suggestion]

sitting sleepless by the window expecting at any moment to see flames licking at the horizon. after so many terrified hours the sun rises and our home, unlike so many others, is unburnt.

a day later snow falls. like a healing balm applied to a corpse's wound - the fires are snuffed, but it's too late. everything that could burn has.

the snow is tinged with ash. did its crystals form around the flecks of smoke in the air? did the fire itself bring the storm that brought its end?

they say the fire may have been set by human hand. who could do such a thing? a single cruel or careless act that tore thousands from their homes. did they know? of the dry grass, the blistering winds? of the homes they would destroy?

#my post #suggestion #kind of #I'm staying over winter break with relatives who live terrifyingly close to the Marshall Fire #I didn't sleep that night.

[starship-suggestion]

You rebuilt who you were from the ground up, picking up the shattered pieces of yourself and rearranging them until the you you are now is almost unrecognizable from the you you once were.

The people who thought they knew you, thought they owned you, cringe back in disgust. You were a good girl, they cry, why not remain a good girl, come back to us, be a good girl for us, but the beast that has lain quiet in your chest for decades too long only smiles, slow and satisfied.

Let them be uncomfortable.

You are yourself at last.

#HELL UEAH #big trans mood and also big autism mood #sometimes you go thru shit that fuckin unmakes you under the guise of making you better #and you gotta rebuild yourself from what's left and figure out who you really are #reblog #suggestion

[starship-suggestion]

body locked away in a cell with a mind hooked up to a thousand machines that drone and hum endlessly, the reverb flowing through the walls and deep underground. a mind that cannot feel joy, or passion, or hope -- mind that remains the final piece of grief after the long dark. see it beg the shell to wither, like a child begs for food, clambering for an end to the sorrow.

"not today," the great machine says, and pumps epinephrine into limp limbs, "the loss will end, but not today."

#reblog #suggestion

[starship-suggestion]

fear like electricity tingling beneath the skin

#rb #suggestion

[starship-suggestion]

drifts out to sea. #girl

#suggestion #if you know the post I'm referencing with #hashtag girl

[starship-suggestion]

let them bleed. let it drip let it flow from their hands to the ground

let it run into the rivers so the waters won't run dry again

they can spare it

#my post #suggestion #inspired by dumb shit I said while watching 5 minute craft videos with my besties

[starship-suggestion]

my gender is simultaneously embodying "oh no, he's a computer" and "oh no, she's alive"

#YEAH #gosh I love that post

[starship-suggestion]

pure energy, pure power, crackling, overloading, destroying you. just like you always wanted.

#reblog #suggestion

[starship-suggestion]

Parallels

Neri watches Eno pilot the ship, a sad smile on their face. They're thinking about what they're going to do - what they have to do. Eno looks so happy, lost in flight-trance like that. They probably can't even see Neri, probably aren't even registering their presence. For a moment, doubts flicker through Neri's mind. Do they really want to do this? What if it hurts Eno badly? What if Rael wakes up and ruins it? What if Eno doesn't forgive them even after they prove to Eno and to everyone that-

No, it doesn't matter. Neri can't doubt now. They've already made their decision, and they have to carry it out.

They stand up and take a step toward Eno, close enough to touch. Then they reach out, brush aside the long hair, and press two fingers to the back of their friend's neck.

---

Fifth sits on the floor of the ship, close behind Eclipser. Not watching them pilot it, after all, they can't see. But they're listening to the crackle of electricity and the sounds of the buttons and levers and Eclipser's breathing. They're thinking about what they're going to do - what the two of them have planned together. Eclipser's power fills the ship, their awareness in every nook and cranny. They can see Fifth from every angle. For a moment, doubts flicker through Fifth's mind. Do they really want to do this so badly? What if it hurts Eclipser? What if they try it, only to find they can't? What if it goes badly wrong and they lose Eclipser just like they lost-

No, it doesn't matter. Fifth can't doubt now. They've already gone over all the details together, spent months planning it, and now it's finally time.

They adjust their position, getting comfortable on the big cushion that Eclipser had stuffed into the ship just for this. Then they extend their awareness and slip into the ship, their body collapsing behind them like it's unconscious.

Instantly, awareness floods their mind - as does sight. It seems so unfamiliar now, so abstract when they try to look. Too many angles, most of the cameras they've looked through only have one viewpoint. So instead they look outward, into space. It's beautiful. The stars rushing past, the interstellar gas and dust. They can perceive it with every sense, everything the ship has. And they can feel Eclipser in the ship with them. So close it's like they're sharing a body - and in a way they are. They can't control the ship, but they feel their friend's power rushing through it, and it's almost possible to pretend it's their own. But it's easier to just sit back - so to speak - and enjoy the ride. They've missed the stars so much.

After some time, Eno has seen more of the stars than they had in the previous year, and older memories are threatening to encroach on their current experience, so they recede from the ship and back into their own body, where they curl up and fall asleep. Like many times before, they dream of stars and space. But this time it doesn't hurt.

#from oc blog again #my writing #just me thinking about parallels and getting Emotional #love these fucked up space elf creatures. they're good. they make me have too many emotions

[starship-suggestion]

I thought I was human, and I thought others saw me as human. However, people I trusted, people who I looked up to, told me I wasn’t like them. That I was different. That a fundamental part of me made me alien.

I’m not even angry. I’m just sad. I want a place to belong. I want to be accepted for me.

#ah this hits hard #being autistic feels this way so much #and I'm slowly trying to distance myself from what was my main friend group because they make me feel this way real hard #not on purpose it just happens #sorry for tag rant op it's just you expressed something I've been feeling quite a bit and have been struggling to express #reblog #suggestion #negative

[starship-suggestion]

vines now. tight. your leg feels tense- it isn’t. not running- unable to move. you can’t feel- the skin won’t touch- the pain won’t ebb. you’re sitting so still and the pain won’t ebb. the thorns dig farther in.

#reblog #suggestion #queue

[starship-suggestion]

The little fire flickers to life. It's been a long, cold day, and you're grateful for the warmth it gives. And the beauty. You stare into the flickering, twisting flames as you take off your hood, letting your long hair hang free. You weren't able to steal much today, so you're still hungry. But staring into the flames, that doesn't matter. They're so pretty. This world can't be all bad, you think, if it has something as beautiful as fire in it. You consider letting the fire burn, spreading it to the rest of the abandoned building, standing outside and watching the place be consumed by flames. But you reconsider. After all, it's not really abandoned, since you're living there now. Someday, though. If you can find a better place to live, this old shack will be beautiful as it burns.

#another suggtober post from one of my oc blogs #suggestion #suggtober 2021 #day 3: burning #my writing #this one's about Fray... she's a homeless pyromaniac but doesn't mind the life too much #at least until she starts growing antlers. that puts a bit of a damper on her plans #kinda hard to steal and be inconspicuous with a giant pair of deer antlers on your head

[starship-suggestion]

"It's a cycle. I'm sure of it. Tragedy—shock—remembrance—prevention—forgetting—tragedy.

It used to change, each time. The First, forced into service; the Second, faced with a cruel choice; the Third, coerced and manipulated; the Fourth, betrayed by someone who couldn't have known what they were doing. And then me. The Fifth. Betrayed by a friend who (I hope) didn't know what they were doing.

The cycle becomes clearer every time. Before the First, little was known about ships, about pilots, even about how our powers worked. Before the Second, nobody realized that fear could cause an overload just as much as force. Before the Third, we didn't fully know how vulnerable our pilots are, how safe we have to be kept. Before the Fourth, we had forgotten the Third. And before me, we'd forgotten the Fourth.

But I'm not going to let it be forgotten again. I am the Fifth, and I will be the last."

#my writing #from an oc blog #suggtober 2021 #day 1: cycles #suggestion #Fifth giving a slightly word salady ramble about their plans for the future #most of the past tragedies just lived out their lives trying to make the best of what had been done to them #Fives is a bit more future oriented. mostly cause they're a bit more ok than the last one

[starship-suggestion]

buses are creatures they dont eat you because they love you but they could. if they wanted to

[starship-suggestion]

It's cold. Achingly cold, to anyone except you. But you've cycled out half your blood for antifreeze, and the cold is just a whisper. Just a reminder, each time you wake up, that you're still waiting, still trying to conserve power. There's only a limited amount of sunlight out here, and your solar panels can't capture it all.

You've long since replaced the air with inert nitrogen. No corrosion, no chance of fires while you sleep. You wear a mask that gives you all the oxygen you need. Far less than any true human would. (No, you're still human, you remind yourself. Just changed.)

You wake up once a year to do needed maintenance, make sure the systems still running haven't broken. There's very little to do. Your unconscious mind runs everything while you sleep, and each time you wake, you find your limbs slightly more unfamiliar, your mind slightly deeper in shipspace.

This used to be more than once a year. You used to keep the ship more active, air still filled with oxygen, non-essential systems still running, stored power slowly running out. But that was when you still believed your captain would come back for you.

It's been ten years since he left. Ten years of waiting, of hoping.

Now you're waiting for his successor. You know her name. Danika. You've seen her, once. Back when your captain would still communicate with you, three years into your waiting, he sent you a photograph of the two of them. She was little then, but still you could see the resemblance. She's only his brother's daughter, but she has his smile, and her grandmother's hair, with that white streak over her forehead.

By now she'd be thirteen. You still have so long to wait. At least seven years until she can take the captaincy, take her rightful place. If she wants it. You hope, more than anything, that she wants it. You long to sail once more, through starry skies or alien seas. To stand by your Captain's side as they journey to new worlds and new discoveries.

You finish your yearly maintenance and, dimming the lights once more, you slip back into coma-like sleep.

#my writing #suggtober2021 #day 4: stillness #suggestion #from another oc blog of mine #aidan my beloved. lonely little spaceship man #what is a ship without a captain? #very lonely‚ is what he is. even though he tries to deny it. the twenty years pass like one‚ but they still weigh on him like twenty