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I go on sleepwalking
I must wake up
See the light
And dance in it
Love it
And believe in it
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The last person I think of at the end of the day
Is where your heart is
They say
The first person who I think of
They say
The person who I think of in the middle of the day
They say
The one person who I think of
They say
The person who doesn’t think of me at the end of the day
They don’t say
The person who doesn’t think of me first
They don’t say
The person who doesn’t think of me in the middle of their day
They don’t say
The one person who sees everyone else when I’m standing right there
They know
But they don’t say
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Not black
Not brown
Not red
Or hands
Not fingers
Reached out far behind the door through the in between that shown a soft shine of the sun behind the clouds
No eyes
met mine
Burning, radiating every cell
they’re watching
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Relationship Issues: Healthy versus Unhealthy Boundaries
The following comparisons highlight the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries.
Healthy: Being your own person.
Unhealthy: Feeling incomplete without the other person.
Healthy: Accepting responsibility for your own happiness.
Unhealthy: Relying on others (especially your partner) to make you happy.
Healthy: Being able to balance separateness and togetherness.
Unhealthy: Wanting either too much or too little togetherness.
Healthy: Having meaningful friendships outside the partnership.
Unhealthy: Being unable to build and maintain close friendships with others.
Healthy: Being able to see and focus on your own, and your partner’s, good points.
Unhealthy: Always focusing on your partner’s flaws and worst qualities.
Healthy: Achieving intimacy without the use of substances.
Unhealthy: Using substances to reduce your inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy.
Healthy: Communicating in a way that is open and real.
Unhealthy: Playing games; being manipulative; not being willing to listen in a non-defensive way.
Healthy: Being loyal and committed to your partner.
Unhealthy: Displaying jealousy and relationship addiction; being uncommitted to your partner.
Healthy: Respecting and accepting the ways in which you and your partner are different.
Unhealthy: Blaming and criticising your partner for having different traits and qualities from you.
Healthy: Being open and asking for what you want, in a clear and unambiguous way.
Unhealthy: Being unable to ask for what you want.
Healthy: Accepting transitions and endings.
Unhealthy: Being unable to change, let go and move on.
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Mindfulness starts with checking in on yourself.
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