staycharming

[staycharming]

Little Memories, Lost

Last month I had my work bag stolen from my car, which contained a laptop and a few other personal effects. Most of the stuff was replaceable or had little value, so it didn’t feel like a colossal loss until I remembered a journal I kept was in there too. It was a journal I started when I found out my wife was pregnant with our first child in which I documented significant milestones in the pregnancy, the birth of our child, our scare in the NICU, what it meant to be a father, how inspiring my wife’s strength is, and all of our baby’s firsts up to his eight months before I lost the journal. I called it Little Memories. The name signifies documenting the journey and growth of our baby. Still, most of all, it was to help me remember all the small details of the past year as my memory is notoriously unreliable. I wanted something to bring me back to any given day over the last year to recall any small achievement our baby accomplished or how awful I felt the next morning after sleepless nights. Bringing it with me daily to work felt like keeping a pocket-sized, sentimental part of my baby boy everywhere I went. They were short, mundane journal entries to anyone else, but meaningful core intimate reflections that I hoped to relive years later at the flip of a page. They were memories that I hoped to pass down to my child, so he could one day have the ability to vividly recount an experience in which he was the main character but would have no existing recollection. It’s not lost on me how silly it even sounds to say it, but losing my notebook felt akin to losing part of myself. These memories feel like a hazy dream that I am clinging to, desperately trying to remember, but all the details keep changing the more I try to recall them. I honestly wish I could start over and rewrite them, but these once hyperspecific details are illegible scribbles etched in the walls of my brain. Attempting to go back to rewrite them would merely be like writing fiction. Ultimately, I hoped these journal entries would forever serve as a testament to my pride in my son and an unending love letter to my wife, but now they don’t belong to anyone, and they’re starting to fade from my memory. I’ve become emotionally enveloped in this material loss, and any closure at this point seems impossible. Suddenly everything in my life feels extra fragile. Like I can lose everything I love in an instant. The silver lining of this experience is that it has given me some new perspective on attempting to live more in the moment and a reminder to love the people and things I can hold right now. Still, I’ve always been a sucker for nostalgia, and like these precious memories, this journal now only exists in the past. I don’t exactly know why I’m writing this or who it’s for, but I’ve found myself incapacitated by a state of arrested development, yet the world keeps going.

#Little Memories

[staycharming]

Yes, I Am Blind

No, I can't see the good things

Just the bad things of the world

[staycharming]

[staycharming]

A Ghost Story

[staycharming]

[staycharming]

[staycharming]

[staycharming]

I'm sorry in advance.

#alice in wonderland

[staycharming]

[staycharming]

20 Resolutions for 2023

My last post on Tumblr was my resolutions for 2020. They didn't go as well as I had hoped. So I figured my return to Tumblr should be my new resolutions for the new year, and hopefully I'll be more active this time and look back on these resolutions to hold myself accountable and track my progress.

Work out in VR every day

Read every day

Write at least one page a day

Be the best father I can

Travel somewhere new as a family

Write a new song

Eat at home more

Finish paying off all debt this year

Unsubscribe from all promotional emails

Accept that I can't change everything

Stop buying things

Fill up a box and donate it every month

Learn to let things go, emotionally and physically

Tumble more

Stop saving nice things for only special occasions

Share things I love with the people I love

Replace things I want with experiences instead

Work on managing my road rage, or just drive less

Reach out to my friends more and ask them how they're doing

Make sure my wife and son know I love them everyday

#new years resolution #2023

[staycharming]

20 Resolutions for 2020

Since this will be my first and only post on Tumblr for the rest of the year, I figured it might as well be a couple resolutions I will probably forget about and neglect, just like Tumblr. So here are my 20!

1. Practice French every day

2. Save at least 15% of my total annual income

3. Travel to France in July

4. Finish 6 books

5. Workout a minimum of 3 times a week

6. Find a place I love to work by the end of the year

7. Create something with the Waifu. (Not a baby)

8. Eat better everyday

9. Get more organized/declutter life

10. Give away more things as donations

11. Renew passport

12. Stay off phone for one hour or more a day

13. Collaborate with Jacob every week

14. Focus more on the things I love

15. Update resume

16. Apply for grad school

17. Develop Personal website

18. Finish at least one creative project this year

19. Establish freelance business

20. Remain a vigilant cyber citizen

#new year's resolutions

[staycharming]

[staycharming]

Looking back at 2018, I’m slowly becoming the person I want to be someday. I moved out, I paid off my car, I got promoted at work and I started rebuilding a relationship with some family and friends that are really important to me. But first and foremost, I’ve begun to lay down the brickwork in my life around the person I look forward to spending every day with. In 2019, I will have known Melissa for 10 years; it's also the year we get married. When we met in the fall of 2009, something in my gut told me she would always be someone really special to me. I’ve had many feelings in my gut, most of them from Mexican food, but I’m glad this is one that has stayed with me. Anyone that has ever met her knows exactly why I would ask her to marry me. Anyone that has ever met me probably can’t understand why she would say yes, but all I can say is that I’m glad she did. She means the world to me and I can’t wait to begin this crazy life together. #jetaime #miamor #7.13 https://www.instagram.com/staycharming/p/BsMLIw1noPVVyU8Bvi8_M_l-sM2SHBoa8Gan6A0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1daualvpel3qu

#jetaime #miamor #7

[staycharming]

Feels Like I Only Go Backwards

As my first post of 2019, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on a few personal accomplishments from 2018. Maybe I’ll post new resolutions for 2019, but probably not. So here are 18 things I was proud of from last year:

1) Paid off my car 2) Moved out to my own place 3) Saw Funhaus, my favorite YouTube Channel, live 4) Reconnected with my best friend Danny 5) Booked our wedding venue 6) Started a podcast with my best mate Jacob 7) Settled my lawsuit 8) Got promoted at work 9) Asked all my groomsmen to be in the wedding 10) Paid off half the wedding 11) Became close with my dad 12) Paid off wedding ring 13) Ran my first 5K 14) Got a new guitar 15) Successfully completed 5 escape rooms 16) Went to the gym every week 17) Saw Nine Inch Nails live 18) Threw a wicked New Year’s Eve party with my friends

#New person #Same old mistakes #New Year #Accomplishments #2018

[staycharming]

[staycharming]

Late post, but I couldn't forget to wish our family dog Mimi a happy second birthday! 🎂 Now that she's a young teen, she's developed a sassy attitude and likes to style her hair as if she's about to ask for your manager. They grow up so fast. #dogsofinstagram https://www.instagram.com/staycharming/p/BrPPRdoHsDpyEmGQE7Hhr4qwSFvyeMV0N_sKEk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=w46e6ze9vcfd

#dogsofinstagram

[staycharming]

So far, my favorite photo with Maron. Boomer Lives! https://www.instagram.com/staycharming/p/BrG2QtlHcbar2eIR3huQ8YxDvaMVI6O4fhm9sI0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11jc65ejle58q