stories-by-shanna-p

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Thorin Oakenshield x FEM Reader Fic RECS (will update as I read)

He's so cute :))))

TUMBLR

AO3

Fire & Gold by N0va_Blue

Learning Khuzdul by QuieroEscribir (orphan_account)

Braid Of Gold by Hexidecimal

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Moonlight Meetings | Izzy Hands x Reader

Summary: You knew Stede Bonnet from his days of being married to your dearest friend, Mary. Although Mary was your best friend, you were still there for Stede during his conflicting feelings about his marriage and wanting to sail the seas and explore the world and, well, become a pirate, and without judgment, too. You wished you had gone with him when he had left, but you stayed loyal to Mary. But upon Stede's return and him and Mary giving and getting the closure they mutually needed, as well as her assisting him in faking his death so he could truly go and live the life he's wanted to pursue without guilt, you do end up going with him this time. You actually reveal yourself to be a skilled navigator and trader, but even before this knowledge, the crew accepted you with open arms. Even a certain first mate who was weary at first (you are Stede's friend, after all) comes around, although you tried to take over his late night thinking spot as your own. You end up sharing said spot and looking forward to your encounters and conversations every night, even throughout the days.

Warnings: slight inconsistency with plot of OFMD (just the stuff with when Stede returns after leaving again, it's really not too evident or bothersome i don't think), some strong language, briefest mention of blood ever, some light angst, brief mentions of troubling past, brief explorations of anxiety, kissing

This honestly took me a few days to write, and Tumblr didn't save some of it, so that was frustrating, anyhow—I truly hope you all enjoy this! I enjoyed writing it. I have a few requests that I will be fulfilling hopefully tomorrow as well, or at least in the next couple of days especially after recent events if you know what I mean...I love you all so dearly and I cannot thank you enough for all the love you've shown me so far. I've enjoyed talking with you all whether it's through the comments or my inbox or even messages :) Keep the requests coming, and have a wonderful day (or night!)

Word Count: 5461

You had never fathomed that the sun could even shine this brightly. For once in your life, its beams didn't berate you but rather seemed to engulf you in a warm embrace as a sort of sendoff on your new endeavors, encouraging you, almost—reassuring you that this was in fact the right choice.

Ever since Stede had taken off to start his new life as a pirate amongst the ocean, you couldn't help but feel envious. You would have given anything to be able to do the same, to leave everything behind and start fresh, especially upon the saltwater seas. Barbados was all you had ever known and it never truly felt like your home. But even just the thought, the daydream of sailing the seas and discovering places you never imagined existed, felt like absolute bliss and paradise. You were sad to see Stede go, too, but you knew it would be good for him. You knew he would be happier than he was living here with Mary and his children, living the life his parents designed for him. You were undeniably happy for him. But you couldn't help but also be extremely jealous, too. Though of course, you would never express these feelings harshly—you really were over the moon for Stede. You just wished for something beyond the life that was handed to you, too. You knew he understood that, too.

Whenever you and Stede would whisper about his plans in corners at all of those socialite gatherings in the rare moments when no one was watching, he would always suggest for you to go with him, but you felt like you had no choice but to stay, especially with Mary. She was your dearest friend, and you felt strongly about your loyalty towards her. You'd never admit you were also terrified of your name being slandered and that your new reputation would follow you out there forever if you had left with him, at least at that time, in those circumstances.

But, Stede returned briefly, and all had been rekindled with Mary. They sincerely wished each other well, and she even helped him pull off a grandiose stunt—faking his death, and you knew that now, he was finally able to live the life he yearned for in peace and free of guilt. He killed off the Stede Bonnet of Barbados, and truly began to grow into the person he wanted to be—Stede Bonnet of the sea, The Gentleman Pirate.

Once he pulled it off, you walked over with him to the sand to send him off once again. There was a lingering moment between the two of you, both knowing that this would not be farewell.

"I'm going to ask you again," Stede started. "Do you want to come with me? Please, come with me, it's amazing out there. And the crew, oh!—you'd just love the crew! Please?"

How could you resist this time? Even before he had formally asked again, you were already on board, ready for whatever awaited you on this journey.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The first few weeks aboard The Revenge had been nothing short of wonderful. You already felt well acquainted with your crew, and there were even a particular few you felt yourself getting closer to already, and hoped you all would continue to. But there were parts of it that were terrifying, too—it would hit you in the most out of nowhere moments that you just up and left your last life. It's not like anything, let alone anyone was waiting for you back there, but nonetheless it shocked you from time to time that you had even left. You felt like an entirely new person—you knew that in your core you were still you, but your identity felt a bit lost in this new environment somewhere. You hardly mourned this, as you were excited to explore a new you, but that didn't erase the fact that it was frightening. There were nights where you found yourself confiding in Stede about this for hours, but you eventually stopped as you noticed Ed would already be in his quarters when you arrived and you wanted to give them privacy. Still, you couldn't stand to be alone in your own quarters, but you weren't sure which of your crew mates' doors you could knock on just yet. The only place left was to check out the main deck, see if there were any nooks and crannies you may have missed.

After a few minutes of searching, you found the perfect spot—you couldn't really be seen by anyone else on the deck, if anyone decided to walk onto it, but you could still stare out at the water and the moonlight. The moon's reflection rippling across the ocean was one of your favorite sights—it brought you such peace, so you were honestly glad that you strayed from being holed up in Stede's room and wound up here instead. You were about to sit when you felt someone else's presence beside you. You jumped, immediately turning around to see who it was, your hand instinctively reaching for your sword.

"It's just me," Izzy sighed. "You can put your fucking sword away. Just me.

You let out a sigh of relief upon the sight of the first mate. You knew that his presence unsettled, or really just annoyed the others, but not you. His presence made you feel safe and looked after, even if he was a bit harsh a lot of the time.

"This is my spot, you know," he sighed once again.

"Your spot?"

"It's where I come to think every single night, even when I'm not on watch," he explained to you surprisingly patiently.

"Do you want me to leave?" you pondered, almost frantically. You didn't want to feel like you had invaded yet another space. You knew you would start spiraling, start thinking that maybe there wasn't a place for you aboard The Revenge. And honestly, Izzy wanted to be alone, but the look on your face almost pierced through his heart. He didn't have the heart to tell you off.

"You don't have to," he shrugged, sitting down beside you. "It's fine."

You both stared out at the sea. You were beyond grateful to have some company, honestly—company beyond the moon itself. Not long after, a sigh escaped your own lips. Izzy tried to fight off the urge to talk to you, but he couldn't deny that he felt so drawn to you, even when you first arrived on the ship.

"Something wrong?" he finally asked, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. He intended to keep you in his periphery.

"I guess I've just been feeling kind of like an outsider," you shrugged, continuing. "Being here is all I've ever wanted and more, but I just feel like such a burden to everyone all the time. I don't really have anyone to talk to, and even when Stede left our village, I only had one friend. Now I just feel even more alone...It's silly, I know."

"It's not," Izzy protested. "I get it. I do."

"You do?"

Izzy nodded. "You don't ever see me talking to anyone, do you?"

You paused to ponder. "Not unless they need something."

"Exactly."

"Do you ever get lonely, Izzy?"

Such an innocent inquiry was enough to almost make Izzy's heart stop. Looking at you from the corner of his eye wasn't enough anymore. He turned his head to face you, witnessing the genuine expression on your face. You truly cared, and you truly wanted to know. No one had ever looked at Izzy this way before, and he wasn't sure of how it was supposed to make him feel—frustrated? Sad? Sorry? Joyous, even? He subtly put his gloved hand upon his chest, thinking somehow it would slow his quickly-paced heartbeat. He wasn't used to this, he couldn't even believe this was happening. He even felt he was reading too much into this—but, you cared, and he knew it right away. He didn't know what to do with that. But it was a pleasant feeling, teetering on bittersweet. Upon realizing your question was still hanging in the air, he quickly spoke again, his mind not exactly in sync with his mouth.

"I suppose."

Izzy's response hung in the air just as your query had. It felt relieving to put such a thing out into the universe, but it also felt dreadful facing this reality. Was this the reason behind the occasionally random sharp pains in his chest, almost reminiscent of someone stabbing him right through his heart with a sword? These physical sensations never came without a looming feeling of gloominess, after all. He almost exhaled at the thought. He wasn't sure whether or not he was ready to explore any of this, let alone if he even wanted to do so. His gaze was still fixated on you, as if he were awaiting to hear something from you as well. For once in his life, hope could be seen in his eyes, though he didn't know it.

Finally, you spoke. "I'll be the moon."

A laugh almost boomed from Izzy's chest. "What?"

"I'll be here every night, if you'll have me. If there's ever a particularly hard day, just remember that the moon will rise at the end of the day and be there for you to lament all your sorrows to," you stood up by this point, speaking sort of dramatically, but it was apparent that you meant it sincerely. "And even during the day, did you know you can still see the moon? So, I'll be there during the day, too."

Izzy was in complete and utter disbelief in the best way possible. He was truly at a loss for words, and he swore his head was going to hurt from how much he was nodding. You smiled at this sight, and held your hand out to help Izzy up. He looked at you, confusing written all over his expression, but you kept your hand there. Finally, he allowed himself to put his hand in yours and before he knew it, he was back on his feet again, in more ways than one.

"Goodnight, Izzy."

"Right. Yes. Goodnight."

The thought of Izzy didn't leave your mind even as you retreated to your quarters, nor when you succumbed to sleep for the remainder of the night's reign. Little did you know that Izzy thought of you, too. That you weren't just going to be his moonlight, but also, his sunshine. But he didn't know that just yet.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You rose right as the sun did the next day, never having been more ready to take on a day until now. Something was even more enchanting about watching the transition of grey hues into orange into light blue, but this process in reverse would always have your heart. The rest of the crew woke up shortly after you, some still yawning, some stumbling upon the main deck from exhaustion. You couldn't help but giggle at such sights. None other than Izzy Hands followed behind them and your heart almost skipped a beat. Usually when this happened it was because you were overcome with worry, but, not this time and you knew that deep down. When you swore no one else was looking, you glanced over and sent a grin his way, to which he slightly returned—blinked, and you would have missed it. Your smile grew even larger, and you had to turn away to conceal it. Before you knew it, you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders, causing you to gasp.

"Someone's chipper this morning."

"Stede!" you exclaimed, laughing so hard that your stomach would probably hurt later. You swiveled around to face him. "Scared the ever living shit out of me."

"Sorry about that," Stede couldn't help but chuckle. "I just wanted to check in with you...are you feeling happy here? You settling in okay? I know it's a lot to just up and leave your life."

"Honestly, I've never been better," you admitted, your smile still existing upon you. And your smile was radiant—it had almost everyone's head turns toward you, their hearts feeling warm. Even Izzy. Especially Izzy. "I am so glad I did this. I regret not joining you sooner, but I—"

"I know," Stede jumped in to assure you, which you were endlessly grateful for. He knew of your tendency to spiral, and he wanted to cultivate a space where you didn't feel like you had to do so. "And I admire your loyalty. It's been an asset on this ship so far."

You sent a glance of gratitude his way before he walked off upon the sight of Ed emerging from his quarters, finally. You laughed as they made their ways over to one another. You were beyond happy to see your dear friend so happy, so in love. So in his element, where he truly belonged.

"Everyone, get to work!" Izzy suddenly shouted, to which the crew immediately scurried off to their designated areas. This didn't startle you, though. You made your way over to the kitchen to assist Roach in organizing the rations, accidentally brushing hands with Izzy as you did. You stopped in your tracks and looked at him from over your shoulder. He was looking at you, too, the smallest smile on his face. He couldn't look away, even though he wanted to just in case his face flushed or he smiled any further or, gods forbid, anyone else saw. You weren't afraid to keep smiling, and after what felt like forever of engaging in this staring match with the first mate, you finally ducked into the kitchen, so as not to keep Roach waiting. If you had, he would know something happened and he would pester you about it for the rest of your life.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Night fell sooner than you could realize it and for that, you were entirely grateful. You had been distracted the entirety of the day; the thought of whatever you and Izzy may have to share later dancing around in your mind, causing your heart to do pirouettes whenever you daydreamed about it. You almost couldn't even wait until everyone was asleep—but you knew this would run the risk of revealing your and Izzy's secret spot, and that would be less than ideal for the both of you. The last thing you wanted was to ruin a good thing that was only just beginning to blossom.

But tonight, Izzy was early. He found himself inhabited in the very same spot as the previous night, just as he had promised. Without a word, you plopped down right beside him, sending one of your signature smiles his way.

"I've never wished a day away like I had today," you laughed breathlessly.

"Nor have I. Yet, here we are." You could tell that there wasn't resentment behind Izzy's statement, but rather, a sort of joy. You discreetly moved a bit closer to him, your knees almost brushing against one another. Izzy also moved toward you at the same time, causing said collision. You were grateful for the dark concealing the rose tint creeping upon your cheeks. Izzy was grateful for the dark concealing the smile creeping upon his lips.

Izzy exhaled almost sharply, preparing to speak again, really speak. "I don't mean to scare off the crew, you know."

"I don't think you scare them one bit," you were quick to reassure him. "It's just how times were in the time where you sailed with Blackbeard, right?"

Izzy nodded almost rapidly, in utter shock that you already had such a good read on him. "Times were different, that's for sure."

"I can tell you care," you told him sincerely. "You just have a way of showing it that the crew isn't used to. I mean, they have Stede fucking Bonnet as one of their captains."

Izzy didn't hesitate to laugh at that. "Yeah. Stupid fucking Stede Bonnet...but what was it like?"

"What was what like?"

"Being a part of...that world. His world."

You rolled your eyes somewhat playfully. "It was...a lot, all at once. Lots of uncomfortable clothes, powder on my face that made me look sickly but everyone would swear I was beautiful. But I never felt like a real fucking person. Ever. It was honestly exhausting."

Izzy listened intently, leaning in a bit to further demonstrate this. He nodded as you spoke, nods that spoke: I understand. That does sound like a lot. That does sound exhausting. It's amazing that you left that life behind. You're destined for so much more than what you were given. But all Izzy could manage to say, was, "No wonder you left. That sounded awful." He was mentally punching himself for not thinking of anything better to say. You deserved words in which were beautifully and artfully strung together. He knew that.

But, you laughed, knowing he empathized just by the way he looked at you. You were no stranger to these sorts of glances—sure, no one had ever looked at you that way before, but it was all you read about in your favorite romance novels, described so vividly that once you did encounter a moment like this, you would immediately recognize it, and, you did. "I'm better now. Much better. Where I need to be."

Once again, Izzy nodded. "You've been a great addition to this crew."

"Really?" you asked, almost in disbelief, but you were flattered to say the very least.

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." To anyone else, this would have sounded harsh. To you, these were the most reassuring words you had ever heard. He looked over at you, insecurity rushing through his bloodstream and you could see this. Even in the light of the moon, you could see the paleness of Izzy's face.

"Thank you, Izzy." You spoke sincerely, and suddenly all pigment re-entered Izzy's once ghostly features. Such words felt so foreign and out of reach for him, until you had confidently brought them into existence. From you, this declaration wasn't a whisper—he could tell that you meant it with your entire heart. He couldn't even recall the last time someone had shown him a shred of gratitude, or if anyone ever had at all before this. Just those three words were enough to send warmth all throughout his body even as the breeze threatened to send shivers down both of your spines and force you underneath the warmth of your blankets in your respective quarters. This would be a warmth that would carry on every time he saw you from this point on—you would be the start to the fireplace in his heart, and part of him knew this was going to begin to happen from this moment forward. As long as you were going to be around, he knew he would at least never be entirely freezing again.

All Israel Hands could manage to do now was look at you. There were stars in his eyes paired tears hat threatened to cascade down his cheeks like waterfalls and he hoped so much that you weren't able to see, that the moon would spare him at least a bit. But you so badly wanted to reach out and wipe away the water from the corners of his eyes, though you wanted his complete trust even more, and that seemed like the last way to get it, at least this early on.

"My eyes just get dry," Izzy quickly defended in case you had seen anything.

You stifled a quiet laugh. "It is pretty windy out here."

"So, see you tomorrow, then?"

"Tomorrow," you confirmed, not even trying to conceal the corners of your lips rising to form a smile.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Tomorrow's would unfold every single night, not one ever missed. There were even a few nights that you happened to be in the midst of a cold but you insisted to be in your spot with Izzy, to which he would protest and you would compromise by allowing your meetings to happen in your quarters as he got Roach to make you soup, and you were better within the next few days. And even on the days where Izzy felt like absolutely screaming and cursing at the world, perhaps directing this to Blackbeard and Stede, he would still eagerly await your time together—it would be beyond enough to get him through those days.

It had now been quite some time since these meetings began. You were really beginning to solve the riddle that was Izzy Hands, and you quite liked what you were finding, and it only made you yearn to uncover even more. But, there were many nights and even days spent where you worried—worried that perhaps Izzy was ashamed of the connection that you two had formed, and that was why your encounters took place at night. Or, perhaps he was just lonely, or he had nothing better to do. You did your best to push these thoughts to the back of your mind but you usually had no luck. And, it was even harder to deny the blossoming feelings you had for the man.

Even before the first time you two had really conversed, you knew there was something about the first mate that you were drawn to, and these nights with Izzy had only confirmed that.

Little did you know that the same fears, and probably even more, existed within Izzy. Of all the people in the crew, why had you taken interest in him? He knew that even Stede Bonnet was probably of more interest, with his fancy wears and his everlasting bookshelves. Or Frenchie perhaps, with his instrument and his voice that the crew never got sick of hearing. Or Lucius with his sketches and his wit. Or hell, even Blackbeard himself, with all of the anecdotes he had up his sleeve—but why him? Why Israel Hands? This thought often plagued him to the point where his head would begin to hurt just a bit, and whenever it did (and, you knew when it did—he wasn't the best at hiding the wincing at all), he would just cake it to the changes in weather, or something that had happened that day, or even not drinking enough water. You always knew these excuses were, well, excuses, but you also knew it wasn't best to press.

Sometimes, part of Izzy wished that you would press. It was you, so he wouldn't mind as much. It wasn't likely that he would pour out his concerns, but he would appreciate yours.

As soon as you arose, you already spotted Black Pete and Lucius, who absolutely qualified for the cutest couple award, if there were such a thing—you wouldn't be surprised if Stede had established that just for them. But, your heart sank just a bit, knowing you couldn't express your growing love for Izzy like that. You weren't even sure you would know if he returned your feelings, and the last thing you wanted to do was ruin such a beautiful thing between the both of you with such knowledge, especially if he truly didn't feel the same. But every morning, your heart would ache, and it became harder and harder to keep all of this love to yourself. You wanted more than anything for it to pour out of you like a fountain that never stopped flowing. You reserved such ardor for Izzy and Izzy alone. Never had you carried such affection, such fondness for another, and not only did that excite you, but it also scared the hell out of you.

The crew noticed this after the first few weeks—oh, you were far from subtle. You practically glowed whenever Izzy entered a room, even if you appeared completely composed.

Finally, Izzy rose from his quarters and your heart leapt in your chest. You couldn't hold it in anymore, and there was no way you were waiting for the moon to rise tonight. You waltzed right over to Izzy, gently pulling him aside. He didn't resist your touch at all—it felt almost familiar, and peaceful.

"Do you have a moment?" you suddenly asked.

"For you? Always. For anything else? Probably not," he chuckled.

Before you were about to speak once again, Stede had announced that the ship had docked. You sighed, slumping against the railing that you and Izzy were propped up against.

"Can it wait?" Izzy asked you sheepishly, his eyes apologizing.

"Oh. Yes. Yes, it can," you sighed.

"Not for long," Izzy assured you as he rushed off in order to ensure the ship's safe docking. It only took a few moments before he gestured for you to follow him off of the ship. You perked up at this, grabbing your satchel and running over to him.

"So, what is it you wanted to talk about?" he asked as you walked along the pathway of the Republic of Pirates.

"I...It's nothing. Not here, at least."

"Then where?" Izzy sent a playful smile your way.

"Could we actually head back to the ship? Just for a moment?"

Izzy pondered this—for just a moment. "I suppose no one would really notice, and if they did, they wouldn't care all that much."

This time, Izzy followed you. You were already beginning to regret this quite a bit, and beads of sweat were forming upon your temple. You wiped them away carefully, fanning yourself with your hand. You led Izzy to your shared spot, barely being able to breathe. Nor was Izzy with the way you were practically running back, and he had to do his best to keep up the pace. But the thought that something could be wrong was beginning to plague him.

"I couldn't wait until tonight," you finally admit, nervous laughter bubbling out of you.

"Most days, I can't either," Izzy sent a reassuring, but equally as nervous smile your way. "All of the time, actually."

All you could manage to do was sit there and just glow. You glowed underneath the sun's beams and the sight of it made Izzy absolutely melt, and not from the heat.

"Is everything alright? Just wanted to talk?"

Your eyes stayed fixated upon the man before you, the person whom you carried so much love for that it almost overflowed out of you. And, it was no secret that you had never felt this way about anyone before, and Stede Bonnet himself could and would be overjoyed to confirm it. You were often urged to find some sort of attachment toward a plethora of potential "worthy" suitors, but none of them ever caught your eye, nor had much to offer you despite all of their pleas. You always had this feeling deep down that none of them were truly suitable, and so you bore no hesitation saving yourself and your heart for someone that was. And Israel Hands was beyond anything you had ever dreamed of. He suited you so perfectly. He was worthy of all of the love in the world and so much more—you just hoped yours was enough for him. You hoped he would want any of it—it was his if he did.

And oh, did he want it. He yearned for you. Izzy's heart ached when the two of you were forced to retreat to your quarters after hours of conversation. He could spend forever just sitting there with you, his arm wrapped around you as you witnessed the sky's change every day, together. To him, that would be absolute paradise. Every second he spent with you, and even when you were apart, he knew in his heart that he held this special sort of feeling for you. Dare he call it love, as he didn't want his heart to shatter into a million pieces that he wouldn't be able to pick up. But, you were it for him, and he knew that deep down. He could see it in your eyes, or at least, he hoped that was what he was seeing. You did look at him with stars in your eyes, and you knew that.

"Please, don't hate me," you started, biting your lip so harshly that it almost drew blood.

"Hate you?" Izzy repeated, absolutely puzzled. "I couldn't hate you even if I tried."

You inhaled so sharply that you almost choked on air. You laughed it off, though Izzy instinctively placed his arm on the small of your back, tracing small patterns into it. With this, you collapsed into his arms and he was already set up to catch you. Sobs escaped your lips as he moved one of his hands to the back of your head, running his fingers through your hair in an attempt to hopefully soothe you. These weren't instincts he was familiar with, yet, he felt as if he was meant to do these things. "You can tell me. Take your time, of course," he assured you as you continued to cry. After a moment, you managed to compose yourself a bit and you felt okay enough to pull away, but Izzy kept his hands on your upper arms gently, just in case. He was really starting to grow concerned, his stomach churning.

"You won't hate me?"

Izzy laughed, to which you managed the smallest of smiles. "I could never."

"I...I feel very connected to you, Izzy," you began. "And our conversations have really confirmed that for me. I don't just think about you at night before we talk—do you know that? You are the first thing that enters my mind each morning and then I can't wait to see you, really see you and talk to you and be close to you. And some days on this ship are hard, Izzy, but you make things so much easier. You take so much weight off of my shoulders."

"The thought of getting to talk to you gets me out of bed every day," Izzy admitted. "I've been doing this a long time and sometimes I don't know what it's all for anymore, why I even bother. But if I get to see your smile, it's all worth it."

You swore you were about to become a blubbering mess if you opened your mouth to speak at all. As you took a step forward towards him, your fingers intertwining as you approached. His other hand gently landed upon your waist, and your eyes met at the same second. The gap between you both was too much, too much, and neither of you could take its existence anymore—he gently reeled you in and you pressed your lips against his. He quietly gasped in surprise, though it was quickly followed by a sort of sigh of relief as he returned your kiss, returned your sentiments. You smiled against his lips and he couldn't help but do the same, there was no denying that your smile was contagious. He felt as if he were meant to do this, meant to show you such tenderness and care and love. And you would do anything in your power to show him that he was worthy of all of yours.

"I..." Izzy whispered against your lips. "I love you." The words almost got stuck in his throat—they felt unfamiliar, and unfamiliar was rarely not terrifying or dreadful. Right now, unfamiliar was exhilarating. Those three words were the truest he had ever spoken. You lit up more than the sun, the stars, and the moon combined.

"I love you, Israel." You had saved those three words for someone special, someone whom you truly adored without any question, and Izzy happened to be that someone. Anyone else would never, ever compare. He engulfed you in another embrace, your shirt becoming slightly stained by his tears. "I was meant to."

"Meant to what?"

"I was meant to love you. Made for it, probably," you laughed.

Izzy took hold of your hand once again, disentangling himself from your embrace to face you. With his free hand, he cupped your cheek and his thumb caressed it softly. "I think perhaps the moon knew to bring us together. But I loved...I loved you even before then. Or at least, I had a strong feeling I was going to. That, I'm certain about."

"Think we still have some time before everyone notices we're gone?" you asked, hope wavering in your voice.

"Oh, we've got ample long as they're at Spanish Jackie's," he couldn't help but chuckle. "We've got all the time in the world, my love."

"All of the time in the world," you repeated. "I love the sound of that."

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Rainy Day

[stories-by-shanna-p]

why him?

See my full list of works here!

Part of the 500 Follower Celebration Requested by: @fictive-sl0th

Summary: An invitation to a Thanksgiving family reunion was sent addressed to you and Loki, and you're not exactly all that excited to face everyone after over a decade of no contact.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: Audrey and her grade-A parenting…and she's got friends this time; family drama; hints of Loki's insecurity over his brother if you squint; language (get over it, Rogers) [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: established relationship

The air was unreasonably thick as the car drove through the streets of your old neighborhood, the layout hauntingly familiar to you and growing increasingly stifling as you passed each picturesque home. Every single one of those houses looked like they didn't age a day, the paint jobs pristinely done to ensure they looked as good as when its owners moved in over a decade and a half ago.

The lawns were a uniform obnoxious radiant green, a blatant show of affluence that yes, you were in a neighborhood that could afford to allocate obscene amounts of water to maintain the lush green hue of a patch of land that nobody could walk on. All for the sake of display.

"My love, I rarely ever say these words to anyone besides myself, but you must calm yourself." The feel of a large hand taking yours and fingers lacing through yours brought you out of your trance, not realizing that you'd been incessantly shaking your leg until Loki placed his free hand on top of it to stop you. "We can still turn around and head home instead. We need not face these people if even the thought of seeing them again has you shaking this way."

"I just don't get it," you murmured, relaxing your posture to let the god maneuver you and place you onto his lap, resting your head on his shoulder. You could practically feel your nerves melting away as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, the backs of his fingers stroking along your spine making you lean into him all the more. "Why now? After all this time?"

"Perhaps they wish to show you off," he grunted, sighing when he felt you tense up again after his words. "I don't wish to think ill of the very people that brought you into this world as I owe them a great debt for that alone, but if they had made the monumental mistake of ceasing to be a part of your life for so long, then my mind cannot help but think of ulterior motives on their part."

"Maybe they need me to win a pissing contest," you added, rolling your eyes. "But if that's the case then why didn't they reach out when I got into the Avengers Program? When Tony announced me as a new member of the team? How come after years of my mother voicing how disappointed she's been in me straying from the family business, suddenly we're--Holy fuck I know what it is." His light squeeze at your side prompted you to continue. "It's you."

"I'm afraid you've lost me there, darling. How is it--"

"Think about it," you kept going. "What happened days before we got the invitation? And just the fact that they addressed the invitation to both of us. Not just me and telling me that I can bring my boyfriend. The invitation said Y/N and Loki. They're not out to brag about me to their pretentious fuckwits at the country club. They're out to brag about you."

"Y/N that's absurd--"

"It's makes complete sense and you know it," you insisted. "We went public just a few days before we got that invitation--" He cut you off with a pointed look, challenging your spin on the situation. "Okay fine, people took photos of us out on a date and before theories got out of hand I tweeted 'Yeah we're dating. Deal with it.' and gave Pepper a migraine, same difference. Anyway, that happens, and suddenly they want me at Thanksgiving? That's not a coincidence, sweetie."

He pressed his forehead to yours, letting out a long sigh as he wrapped his arms tighter around you. "Say the word and we can call off this charade. I will speak with Stark and tell him we truly do not need these people as stakeholders if it comes at the cost of your peace."

Your heart swelled at his offer, knowing full well that he was more than ready to put an end to this shitstorm before it even began. But you also knew that a guilt would always eat away at you if you didn't so much as try. You owed Tony a great deal, after all, especially considering that he didn't even hold it against you when you outright refused to participate in that skirmish back in Germany and also proceeded to refer to all the parties that took part in it "a bunch of babies incapable of just talking it out instead".

"I have to at least try," you muttered, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. "At the very least it'd be nice to see my little sister again. Scare her fiancé within an inch of his sanity if he even thinks of hurting her."

"If you're sure, darling. But if at any point you wish to leave, let me know. We'll be home in seconds. Leave Stark's transportation behind. Surely Hogan will be able to find his way back to the compound."

"I heard that," a voice broke through the speakers on your side of the divider. "Look if you two have to make the dramatic exit a heads up would be nice is all I'm saying. Don't wanna have to spend a second longer in here than we have to, you know?"

"Happy I get you, but I'm sure you know by now that if we're gonna be texting you about a dramatic exit, by the time you read it, we'll already be back in our apartment." His groan over the speakers was all the agreement you needed. "Just--if anyone in that house asks you any questions, say it's classified information under Tony's orders or some shit. I don't want anyone in there knowing a goddamn thing. Nosy pretentious asshats." You grumbled the last part under your breath, earning a chuckle from the god still cradling you in his arms.

"Well I hope your poker face is ready, Y/N," Happy spoke up again. "Because we're about three houses away and a woman that looks like an older Botox'd to the high heavens and bleach blonde version of you is waiting by the mailbox."

"I'm assuming the woman he's describing is your mother?"

You nodded, refusing to lift your head from Loki's shoulder as if it would somehow prolong -- maybe even prevent -- the inevitable. "Fucking Audrey."

"Should I be especially cautious around anyone?"

You scoffed at the question. "Everyone. Just as a rule of thumb, if any of my aunts corner you and ask you about sleeping habits or stamina, call me. If anyone touches you anywhere that only I should be touching and not in front of a live audience unless we're feeling especially risqué, shout and I'll beat them up and make a scene so crazy it'll make Wade proud."

"I don't think you should pride yourself on your ability to incur that Wilson's pride, darling," he cautioned you with a soft chuckle. "But I will make sure to take your words to heart." You let out a whiny whimper as he eased you off his lap and seated you beside him, feeling the car coming to a stop. "Shall we?"

You placed your hand in his, lacing your fingers together as he exited the car before helping you out as well. When you saw the obviously newly bleached blonde middle aged woman approaching you, you could feel Loki's thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand the moment you began to tense up. "Mother," you spoke up, smiling through gritted teeth. "Thank you for extending the invitation. Let me introduce you to Loki, we work together and we…also live together. He's my boyfriend."

Every nerve in your body tensed itself for a fight the second she gave him a head-to-toe look, her eyes so visibly dismissive and judgmental. "It was your father that extended the invitation. Come on, we shouldn't keep him waiting." And then she turned around and walked back toward the house, completely ignoring the god's outstretched hand to shake.

"What in the actual fuck?" you muttered, both of you giving each other a look before following Audrey into your childhood home.

The second the door opened you saw a familiar dark-haired ball of energy running toward you for a hug. "Y/N holy fuck you actually came!" your sister Stella squealed, the impact of her embrace making you let go of your boyfriend's hand. "I fucking missed you so much!"

"It's great to see you too, sis," you chuckled, returning her embrace as you took a look around the house that barely resembled your home from years past. "Any idea why they sent the invite, though? I mean I don't wanna sound like a right bitch but--"

"The short version is that Dad saw a video of you on a mission last year and he started missing you. When you went viral a few weeks ago after those photos of you and your boyfriend went around, he decided it's been too long since he's seen you and he wanted to meet you. And Loki. He just wants to meet the guy who made you smile the way you do in the pictures. You seem really happy with him."

You beamed at her words. "I really am, Stell. Actually I was wondering if you and your fiancé would be up to it, we could all meet up next time you're in the city." If it was possible, her smile got even wider at your offer. "I never wanted to be the first to show weakness since Audrey would fucking jump in glee at that but…I really fucking missed you, too, моя маленькая сестра."

The wonder that entered her eyes tugged at your heartstrings, reminding you so much of how she looked before you'd left home all those years ago. Back when she was still smack dab in the middle of high school. "What was that you just said?"

"My little sister." She let out a childlike giggle as she wrapped her arms around you again. "Nat's been teaching me mainly so we can talk shit. The only ones who can tell what we're talking about are Loki, his brother, and Bucky."

"Ohh if you knew how fucking thirsty everyone's been on the family group chat over literally everyone you just mentioned. Oop--you should probably go save your mans from some of them because our aunts? Well, let's just say they got handsy over my Nate, and he's nowhere near as built as your--"

"Say less," you muttered, walking toward the aunts in question. There were three of them standing in front of your boyfriend, the closest being Brenda who was basically the slutty wine mom version of Audrey, and she was about to reach out and place an overly manicured hand complete with long coffin acrylic nails on Loki's arm.

You put a stop to her wine-aided show of interest in people that weren't hers inches before acrylic met cotton, your hand catching her wrist in a thinly-veiled death grip and earning you an incredulous head-to-toe look from her. "Why, little horsey, what's gotten into--"

"Touch him, and it will be the last time you have hands, Brenda," you seethed, placing enough pressure against the joint of her thumb to let her know you weren't kidding. "I might be one of the non-enhanced members of my team, but that doesn't mean I can't break your hand like a fucking toothpick. And since you can't seem to remember anything you were taught as a child, let me just refresh your decaying memory. Touch that which belongs to someone else and lose a fucking limb."

She struggled to free her hand from your grip for a few moments before you made a show of "graciously" letting go, the three women stumbling away from you and the raven-haired Asgardian, a look of caution in their eyes as they made their way back to the kitchen. "Can I steal that line from you, little bunny?"

You turned towards the source of the new voice, a smile stretching across your face as you met eyes with you father. The only other friendly face you'd seen so far besides Stella since stepping foot in this house. This time around you were the one running for a hug, nearly sending him stumbling back from the impact. "I'll even teach you where to apply pressure."

"Horse? Bunny?" You broke the embrace to turn back towards Loki. "Any particular reason why your familial nicknames are based on animals?"

"When my permanent teeth were coming in, my front teeth looked a little too big for my face, so…" You trapped your bottom lip under your front teeth and wiggled your nose like a bunny, making him chuckle as you stepped back into his embrace before pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Horse is because I had an overbite and despite growing into it, Brenda always fucking neighed whenever I stepped into  the room."

"Darling, that's horrid."

"That's Brenda for you," your dad retorted, holding out a hand toward the god. "I'm Thatcher. I apologize for Y/N's mother. And her sisters. And my sisters."

The tension that had knots forming all over you began to relax by the slightest as you slipped out of Loki's hold, leaving him to talk with your father in relative peace compared to how you began your re-entry into this chapter of your life that felt too full of ghosts you thought you'd exorcised a long time ago.

"The last time I saw her this happy she was a little girl twirling around in a yellow princess dress getting ready for Halloween trick or treating around the neighborhood. Do you--have that? Back in…?"

"Asgard?" Loki finished for your father. "We do not. In truth Y/N was the one that kept me apprised of all the traditions mortals have in this realm. And the sweets that children tend to hoard during that time of year. We still have some from this year's festivities in our apartment left over from when she handed them out to the children."

"Is that how you and her became a thing?"

The god let out a mix between a chuckle and a sharp exhale as the memories of the early days of your relationship came back to him. "No. Those days we were simply friends. I'd only started truly courting her earlier this year. It was my brother that tipped us both off that we were as you mortals would say…dancing around each other? Truly I'd been taken with her the moment we met, I just never dared think she would return the sentiment. Since then I'd barely ever left her side." He looked to you, speaking with your sister once more as you both walked down the hall toward the kitchen, heart pounding in his chest as his mind was bombarded with the thought of perhaps living in a home similar to this with you one day, perhaps starting a family of your own. "You raised a remarkable woman, you should be very proud of her."

"I have been. I've always been. Honestly the only reason I haven't reached out to her sooner is I knew she wouldn't want to see most of the people in this house since they're the ones that practically drove her out all those years ago. But getting hit with the realization that my little girl was building a future that I wasn't going to be a part of felt so wrong to me. I only wanted for us to reconnect but the second Audrey and the rest of the family heard I was planning to reach out they took over. Invited themselves. Turned it into this entire thing."

"Apologies but I don't quite follow. She talked as if she knew that this would be a full family affair. Braced herself for it, even."

"That's only because she knows her mother painfully well, always sticking her business in places it didn't belong," he grumbled. "I don't know if she told you, but her mother and I have been separated since years before she even left the house. Our families have just been so tangled up with one another that I can't seem to escape as cleanly as my daughter did. Really I only planned for this to have been a simple meal shared with maybe Stella and her fiancé. I should have met with her instead, fuck I really clowned with this whole thing."

"Something that Y/N told me throughout my acclimation into this realm was…we learn as we go." Your father snapped his gaze towards you the moment Loki said the words. "She said you taught her that."

Thatcher straightened his stance and faced the god once more. "Do you love my daughter?"

He didn't hesitate to give his answer. "More than anything."

A lump formed in Loki's throat as your father reached into his pocket, pulling out a ring box that seemed generations old, set in a black leather and gold detailing. "The second I saw those pictures of the two of you, I recognized that look in your eyes. It's the same one I saw in Nate when he looked at Stella. When you're ready, and more importantly when she's ready, all I want is to be able to walk my baby down the aisle. But until then, keep this somewhere safe."

With a wave of his hand, Loki made the box disappear in a flash of green, keeping it in the safest place he could. "I'm sure she would love to have you walk her--"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Audrey??" The sound of your voice going shrill had him ready to march over to you. "So not only did you have the fucking audacity to invite yourself to this, bring your air-headed sisters along with you, and disrespect me and my boyfriend within sixty seconds of getting out the fucking car, but now you think you're in a position to pass your judgment and tell everyone how you think I 'picked the wrong Asgardian'."

A chill spread throughout Loki's body at your words. Despite the knowledge that yes, Thor was in fact the one that practically pushed you two to finally admit to your feelings towards one another, there would always be a deep-seated fear in him that you would wake up one day and choose differently. As so many before did in their youth.

"I'm just saying, little horsey, that if I was given the choice between two brothers, I would have picked the one that could make me a queen of a whole planet. Not the alien equivalent of an ex-con," your mother sneered at you, making his skin bristle at the sight of your rage visibly beginning to build. "Then again I shouldn't be surprised. You always did make it so difficult for us to tell any of our friends about you. Turning your back on the family business, specializing in a field that could do nothing for the image of my family, and now we can't even tell anyone you're dating a prince because all they're gonna see is the guy on YouTube back in Stuttgart that told everyone to--"

"Audrey, you finish that sentence I'm gonna make you fucking kneel," you seethed, shoulders squaring as you took a step toward them. "You haven't had a single good thing to say about me since I got first runner up in that stupid pageant you dragged me into when I was three. I turned my back on the family business because I refused to participate in a cycle of helping raise a new generation of girls that would turn out to be as brainless and shallow as you lot. I specialized in technological advancements in sustainable energy so I could actually do some good in the world and it got me an internship in Stark Industries that led to my training at SHIELD that led me into the Avengers program.

"And I don't give a single flying fuck if you can't brag to your friends at the country club about who I share a home with! Tell them whatever the fuck you want, but the long and short of it is this: I am dating a god. And a King." You lowered your voice as a smirk tugged at the side of your mouth, picking up a book that had been placed on top of the counter and waving it in their direction. "And these big boy blue-skinned ice aliens you're thirsting over in your horny wine moms book club?" You tossed the book back on the countertop with a resounding smack. "I'm dating that, too."

Your sister's jaw dropped to the ground as her gaze flickered between the scene in front of her and towards the front door where Loki still stood watching along with your father. "You go, sis," he heard her mutter before she cleared her throat. "If it helps, she's unimpressed with Nate being a neurosurgeon, too."

Somehow that sentiment caused you to chuckle, your stance a touch more relaxed now. "You know for such unimpressive women, you seem to have impossible standards for what you think is impressive to you. And the funniest thing is that somehow you all got it into your heads that the blonde himbo I call one of my best friends, that got banished to Earth for trying to destroy an entire realm because he was always a little too excited to wage war 'in his youth'…The same blonde himbo that had to grab and shake my shoulders to knock some sense into me because apparently my not so subtle crush on his brother was reciprocated and we were being idiots friendzoning ourselves? That Thor? Somehow you think you know better than I do and that he's somehow the better option? Fucking. Laughable.

"When I choose who I give my heart to, Audrey, that's it. I don't do the stupid thing and look around and see if there's greener pastures somewhere because I was raised better than that. By someone with more character in his pinky toenail than you have in your entire body, you bumbling idiot. Fact is there is no better option and there will never be a better option. Not for me. Thor doesn't even begin to compete. He's just the matchmaker. And if you can't even suck up your ego for five seconds and show me a modicum of respect then I don't need to tolerate your pretentious ass for one more minute."

As you walked out of the kitchen, marching your way back to him, Loki could see a fierce protectiveness in your eyes that he only ever saw out in the field. He'd come to terms that he would never see you donning that look over himself because out there he was better equipped and more than willing to be the one protecting you. He had to admit, however, that seeing it now had his heart doing somersaults in his chest.

I'm going to marry this woman, he thought to himself, a smile stretching across his face once you'd reached him and stepped into his outstretched arm, your own hand sliding across his lower back as you both settled into a familiar embrace.

"Sorry to rain down on this whole thing, Dad. I know you tried." You and your father gave each other mirroring shrugs. "Maybe you could--go to New York next time? Bring Stella with you? Y'know…just because I never wanna see those sad sacks of silicone and bleach ever again doesn't mean I wanna live the rest of my life without you two."

"I'll reach out next time I find myself in your neck of the woods, little bunny. Might be sooner than you think."

Your hold on him tightened the slightest bit as if to draw his attention back to you. It was adorable that you thought it ever left. "Let's go home." The way your tone audibly softened as soon as you turned to face him had the god unable to hold back from pressing a kiss to the top of your head before turning toward the door.

"Home?" a new voice perked up, making you both turn and face the dark-blond haired man who stepped in next to your sister. "I take it Audrey fucked up that fast, huh?" He set the grocery bags in his hands down, wiping his hands on his trouser legs before extending one towards you. "I'm Nate."

"The neurosurgeon, right?" you answered, taking his hand in what Loki knew was a handshake a touch firmer than necessary. "You know I work with someone who used to be a neurosurgeon, too. And…" The god stifled a chuckle as your grip tightened and tilted his hand to a point of discomfort. "If you ever even think about hurting my little sister, I will make what Stephen Strange went through look like a walk in the fucking park."

"Wouldn't dream of it," the Midgardian healer squeaked, letting out a breath of relief when you relinquished your hold on his hand. "Sorry you have to leave so early. Would've loved the opportunity to get to know the woman Stella can never seem to stop talking about. She's an entire fangirl whenever she sees you on the news."

"Shut up I am not!" Your sister faced you with a slightly sheepish look not too dissimilar from a look he occasionally saw from you. "Okay maybe I am a little bit. I mean I can't help it! My sister's a superhero!"

The sentiment had you nearly mirroring her jovial tone as you stepped out of his hold to pull her into an embrace. "I love you, too, sis. Come see me if you're ever in New York, okay?" When you pulled away from one another, you held her shoulders as you imparted one final piece of advice to both her and her intended. "You don't have to tolerate her behavior. Neither of you do. Today or--any other day of your lives."

It was just before dark when you and Loki got back to the Avengers Compound, already bracing yourself for what Tony was about to say once you stepped through the threshold. You knew you fucked up any chance of a new stakeholder for the Avengers the second you walked out of that house hand in hand with Loki, but you couldn't bring yourself to tolerate Audrey and her vapid posse a second longer.

Nobody got to pass judgment on you and your choices like that, especially when the choice they were so dismissively passing their judgment on was the love of your life. You should have broken their hands the second they started talking about how they thought you fumbled so badly for not choosing Thor.

"Thanks for not leaving Happy in hoity toity upper middle class Suburbia, you two," Stark hollered seconds after you stepped through the compound's main entrance.

"Tony I'm sorry--"

"For what?" he cut you off. "While you two were on the road your dad called me, said he wanted to invest in the Avengers Program, even offered his consulting company to be in our roster of resources. On one condition."

"And that would be?"

"Regular visits. At least once a quarter, he said. With you as the official liaison. Said he doesn't wanna miss any more of your life if he can help it."

A grin threatened to split your face, your heart warming at the knowledge that when your father said 'might be sooner than you think', he truly meant it. You no longer had to "all or nothing" your embargo on your family. "I think that can be arranged."

A/N: If you got that book reference, let's be best friends. And that name drop.

I'm so glad to knock another request off the 500-follower list! And this was honestly so much fun to write because I got to create a larger family dynamic that wasn't all bad for Reader but also showed that a few bad elements can really just throw off the whole vibe that that in itself is a good enough reason to walk away. (aka fuck u Audrey)

And also writing scenes where Reader tells Audrey off will never not be cathartic for me 😂🫡

Thank you so much for sending the request in, Camille! I hope you love the story as much as I loved creating it 💖💛

'everything' taglist: @sailorholly @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @sarahscribbles @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @dangertoozmanykids101 @elizabethmidnight2017 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina

Loki taglist: @calumance @severuslovebot @moonlightreader649 @i-stand-with-loki @nixymarvelkins @infinitystoner @lokisgoodgirl @purplegrrl27 @thedistractedagglomeration

[stories-by-shanna-p]

This posted on my Facebook feed as one of those “on this day x years ago” and I had to share! Loki was such a little kitten back then—he a big kitty now! But he still loves being my writing buddy ^^ #writingBuddy #Loki #Cat #WritingCat #ThrowbackTuesday #GuardianOfTheManuscript https://www.instagram.com/p/CqDlxWksQmf/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#writingbuddy #loki #cat #writingcat #throwbacktuesday #guardianofthemanuscript

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Are you looking for a new event and ways to connect with new authors? Be sure to check out #RRBB2023 #RomanceRendezvousBookBlast There will be so many amazing authors and stories for you to read! ❤️ #Books #Authors #AuthorEvent #Romance #RomanceBooks https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp2dxRdOQT1/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#rrbb2023 #romancerendezvousbookblast #books #authors #authorevent #romance #romancebooks

[stories-by-shanna-p]

I’m looking for some “Cozy Reads”. What books would you suggest? What cozy reads have been your favorite so far this year? #bookstagram #Bookrec #cozyreads #RecommendMeBooks #LookingForNewReads https://www.instagram.com/p/CpkvobfL7wJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#bookstagram #bookrec #cozyreads #recommendmebooks #lookingfornewreads

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Newsletter Changes & Life Updates

Newsletter Changes As you could probably infer from the subject line, my newsletter will be moving from Mailchimp to another platform. Mailchimp has recently updated its terms of service for how many campaigns (emails) are allowed, how many followers, etc. I’m not so popular to have reached those monuments yet, but to avoid an issue in the future, I will be moving my newsletter to this blog! For…

View On WordPress

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Meet my new addiction—smoothie bowls. A new place opened up near me and I’m loving it! It’s such a great treat when I get my writing goals done! #BigAcai #SmoothieBowl #HealthySnack #FreshFruit #WritingTreat https://www.instagram.com/p/CpTOI0wvfmY/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#bigacai #smoothiebowl #healthysnack #freshfruit #writingtreat

[stories-by-shanna-p]

How are your #2023ReadingGoals going so far? I’m ahead of the game, but I bet that will change soon! 🤣 #Reading #Books #Bookstagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CpLOykdOvtF/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#2023readinggoals #reading #books #bookstagram

[stories-by-shanna-p]

…so…the For You page is just whatever your last search was.

Got it.

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Mr. Frey is ready to get to work! 🤣 My husband sent me this to raise my spirits at work, I hope it helps raise your joy as well! #Cats #WorkingCat #WritingCat #CuteCat #MrFrey #Positivity https://www.instagram.com/p/CoLHnQwP7K5/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#cats #workingcat #writingcat #cutecat #mrfrey #positivity

[stories-by-shanna-p]

hi!! I have an Eddie request!😊 basically something where the new girl (super shy and nervous cause AH I love it😂) at Hawkins is trying to find a seat at lunch, and decides to go up to Eddie at his table, and he treats her like a literal princess cause no girl has ever willingly wanted to sit with Hellfire

hi ty for the request!!! i hope u like it!!! | 0.6k fluff and shy!reader

Switching schools is scary. Especially during your senior year.

It’s even scarier when you have a hard time talking to new people in the first place. It makes friends hard to find, the adjustment lonely and nerve-wracking.

Lunch is by far the worst part. Every single friendship and clique in one room. Each table is dedicated to a group. Jocks, cheerleaders, or simply friends that so clearly belong together. There’s not one empty table for you to escape to.

You scan the room slowly, standing awkwardly with your tray in hand.

Already, your heart beats faster, your palms clammy. You glance around and the first empty seat you find is at a table with a group of boys in matching shirts. You shake your head and walk over, telling yourself over and over that it’ll be fine.

The closer you get, the less the noise of the room is one big mess. You can make out the voices coming from the table, the laughter.

You wind up standing a bit behind the head of the table, a head of black curls occupying the seat. You clear your throat to try and get his attention, but you aren’t loud enough over the rest of the room. You take a deep breath and shuffle over until you’re next to the chair.

Silence falls over the group, every pair of eyes lands on you. Shit.

Eddie’s stunned when he sees you standing next to his seat, shuffling on your feet, a nervous look on the prettiest face he’s ever seen. You’re new. He knows that because there’s absolutely no way he wouldn’t have noticed you before if you weren’t.

“Can we help you?” Mike says.

“Sorry, um, I was just wondering if I could sit here?” You fiddle with the fork sitting on your tray. “The other tables seem pretty full.”

“Uh-” Mike starts to reply but Eddie kicks him under the table.

“‘Course you can,” he says. He directs his attention to Mike and Dustin, “move down.”

“What?”

“Move down.”

They do, sending Eddie two annoyed looks as they do.

“There you go,” Eddie gestures for you to sit at the corner next to him.

“Thank you so much. You won’t even know I’m here, promise.”

Eddie finds that hard to believe. He’s known you for about a minute and already he can’t stop looking at you. Nobody ever comes near the Hellfire table, and here you are, all sweet and shy and something out of a dream.

“None of that. What’s your name?” He asks.

You tell him, and he repeats it, testing it out.

“That’s pretty. I’m Eddie, nice to meet you.”

Eddie.

Eddie’s a pretty boy. Like really, really pretty. From the curls framing his face and dangling over his forehead, to the softest brown eyes, to the rings adorning his fingers. As if you weren’t nervous enough already.

The rest of the table is caught up in a new conversation, but Eddie can’t bring himself to care. He’s sure you’re more interesting anyway.

“How you liking Hawkins?” He asks.

“Um, it’s okay.”

“It’s shit, you don’t have to lie.”

“No! It’s just, everyone seems to know each other already, you know?”

“Don’t worry about that. Most of ‘em suck anyway. Besides, you know me now, so that’s something.”

He doesn’t tell you that it’s actually cause for the entire school to tease him about finally having a girl pay attention to him or some shit. Like he said, they suck. You don’t.

“I guess that’s true.”

When lunch comes to a close and you start packing up, Eddie stops you before you get up with a gentle hand on your wrist.

“You can come sit here again tomorrow, if you want to.”

“Thank you, Eddie.”

After meeting him, you think maybe a new school won’t be so bad.

[stories-by-shanna-p]

pls take your time w/ it but maybe eddie x reader who has asthma? maybe they get it triggered when he smokes?

Thanks for the request!!!

—CLUTCHED IN YOUR HOLD

EDDIE MUNSON X GN!READER

WARNING(S): cussing, triggered asthma, hurt/comfort? eddie and reader have been together for only a few months, still new to the relationship. Not proofread.

. . .

Eddie never knew. So when it suddenly happened, it was utter consternation.

The brief seconds it took for it to all settle in before he was struggling to pull out— whatever it was you were gesturing to— with released curses. But it wasn’t entirely on him for his lagged response. You never told him, it just at the time, wasn’t something that seemed to come up, until now. And maybe, just maybe, you thought you should’ve told him. (Sense the tone).

It never bugged you that he smoked, or would get stoned every so often. Even if the results could have you suffering. 

But what bugged you was your lack of honesty with him every time he plucked out a smoke and you, by ‘chance,’ left the room or made an excuse as to where you were going.

You knew that your asthma was hypersensitive, even something as simple as weather changes could send you into wheezes. Sometimes it wasn’t so severe and others, it was. You’ve learned to cope with it, it’s been like that ever since you were a child. So, it was nothing new. 

. . .

The leaves crunched underneath your steps, trying to steady your breaths as you went. Well, it was more like you were trying not to take such heavy inhales and breathe through your nose.

It was that time of year when allergy season settled in, plus with the sultry temperatures– your asthma was more prone to react to them. Which meant you really had to watch out and keep your inhaler close by in case you were sent into a fit.

You were meeting Eddie behind the school, the usual spot where he made his dealings or would just generally be when he never felt like showing up to class. It was only the beginning of your guys relationship, having been together for just a few months after much pining. 

Fluttering when you saw him already seated at the table. His head tucked low as he fumbled with something in hand.

Eddie looked up when he heard someone, his form tensing for a second before he was loosening up once again at the sight of you. The smoke in his hand was forgotten, yet to be met with the lighter, but still kept between his fingers.

“Hello there,” He croons, extending his arm for you to take as he gets up and pulls you over to the side he was on. “If it isn’t my person— my one and only.” Eddie nudges your shoulder.

“How’re you, huh?” He leans in to peck your temple before giving you a knuckle head. Expected, though nonetheless, you shook your head at how he could be sometimes. Not even a few seconds previous, he was pressing gentle gestures to you. It’s Eddie though, and he was everything but subtle. He tried but it never went well for him, guess he was just too verbal— in every language there was.

“We saw each other last class– nothing has changed, Munson.” You chuckle, putting your feet on the table as you lean back into him, your back to his chest.

“Oh, but it has. Because a whole hour went by without seeing you and not knowing how you were during the time we were away from the other. So, c’mon, tell Eddie.” And so you did. You were choosing to just make it brief but Eddie was having none of it. Telling you to tell him everything, from the minute you left his side to now. 

And as you were shrugging off what went on, you hadn’t seen him pull the lighter out for his smoke. It wasn’t until you went to release a breath that you smelt it and by then you had leaned up to question it– the smoke then wavering in your face.

It was quick and sudden. What seemed like a cough to Eddie because of the inhale, turned into a huge fit. Your hand at your chest as you try to steady yourself. 

“Fuck.” Eddie’s response was a little too late, quickly putting the smoke out just as quick as it was lit and getting to his feet to console you. His hand on your back rubbing as he stared at you. But when it seemed to get worse, and those coughs and clutches turned into wheezes, his eyes widened and his nerves went through the roof.

He wasn’t sure entirely what was happening, still taken back by your reaction. He hadn’t meant for it to get in your face, he should’ve told you something.

Not only that but it wasn’t until then that he remembered how you often seemed to leave whenever he smoked. He thought it was just you not liking it and was too nervous to tell him to stop. It was the beginning of your guys relationship and you both were trying to get to know the other more so clearly you were a little on the unsure side.

“Y/L/N, l-listen to me– listen to me. Show me what it is you need?” Eddie had your shoulder in his hold, not meaning how he shook you like he had but he was freaking out.

With you trying, your hand went for your coat that was thrown on the table. And it felt like the pocket where your inhaler was tucked in was further away than it looked— Eddie’s eyes on where your hand was gesturing to.

Not letting more time go by as he felt over the pockets until he took hold of the item that was in the left one. An inhaler.

He held it to your mouth, your hand going over his as you pressed onto the button. Your eyes shutting briefly at the feeling of change in your chest.

You kept your breaths small, slowly and surely steadying it like before.

It went still between you guys for a while. The only sounds to be heard was his breathing as he tried to relieve his nerves. His hands were trembling from the fear of what just happened, and his head full with thoughts– knowing that he had caused that. He had triggered your asthma and he couldn’t help but let the guilt come in.

You were leaned back into him once more, your eyes shut as you breathed through your nose– reveling the feeling of Eddie thumbing over your features. He was uttering things under his breath since he could never really keep quiet for long, plus it seemed to keep you settled.

His voice was always something you could never get used to, but it was more trying to get used to knowing that he was yours. That he was with you. 

And when you heard him snuffle, you opened your them— seeing him wipe the tears that fled down his cheeks.

“M’sorry.” He mumbled wetly, clearly not at all holding well.

You leaned up and turned so you were facing him, holding his hands in yours as you looked at him.

“No, don’t be. It wasn’t you,” features scrunching when you heard yourself, plus the look he was giving you told you he was thinking what you were. “Let me rephrase that. It was you but how could you have known, huh?” You thumbed his cheek, just below his eye.

“I hadn’t told you, which I should’ve done. M’sorry, not you– me.” You said.

“Could we both be sorry?” Eddie questioned, looking at you with puffy eyes and you nodded, pulling him into you. Eddie clutched you in his hold as he breathed you in. And in return, you rubbed his back with one hand and the other cupping his head. Not letting go until he was ready.

“M’never smoking again.” 

“Well, that seems a little stretched, don’t you think?” You spoke muffled into his shoulder.

Eddie pulled back with a look of disbelief. Not buying it whatsoever.

“Uh no. No. It’s totally stood for.” 

You understood what he was referring to but it doesn’t mean he has to quit.

“Or you could just not do it near me or when m’with you? Level with me, Munson.” You suggest. Eddie had an empty look on his face– like he wasn’t really content with your offer.

Though he nodded his head softly when he was through.

“Deal. But don’t ever keep something like that from me, understood?” His forefinger poked at you, a stern look in his eyes. “M’not even going to keep my smokes nearby, they’re getting tucked away.”

. . .

A/N: feedback and reblogs are appreciated.

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Dearest Friend | Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: You and Eddie are best friends. But you want to ruin your friendship. Based on the TikTok trend “Ruin our friendship” and the song “Jenny” by Studio Killers.

AN: Massive, massive, massive thanks to @eddieandbird for making the notes for this fic. It looks exactly like how I pictured it!!

Putting distance between you and your best friend was the hardest thing you ever did. You and Eddie basically grew up together, you were thick as thieves, always supporting each other and living basically attached to the hip.

You really didn’t have a single happy memory without Eddie in it.

Then why were you trying to put distance between the two of you?

Because in the past few months you developed a massive crush on him. It started when Eddie began showing interest in dating and asking girls out. The jealousy you felt when he mentioned having a crush on Chrissy caught you by surprise, you always assumed you would be happy for him when the time came. Instead you went home and cried.

You cried over his crush on another girl, you cried over the fear of losing your best friend, and you cried for the lost innocence as you realized you weren’t kids anymore.

-

Eddie noticed your absence in his life right away. Suddenly you were too busy for movie nights at the trailer, or to hang out in his van after school. You avoided him during class, and started sitting far away from him during lunch.

He didn’t like that. He missed you.

He decided he couldn’t take your silence anymore when one morning you completely ignored him during Biology class, even though he was literally sitting on the desk next to yours.

You were taking notes when a folded piece of paper was slid across your desk. You looked up to see Eddie looking at you, his knee bouncing nervously.

You unfolded the paper and read his note.

You sighed, your heart breaking a little. You took your pen and started writing underneath Eddie’s note.

You passed the note back and hoped that was it. But soon enough he passed the note back.

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down. You knew this could happen. Correction. You knew that this would eventually happen. Eddie deserved to know the truth.

So you took your pen and started writing with a shaky hand.

Eddie quickly replied.

You couldn’t help but smile at him, he was so dramatic.

You passed the note, hoping he would understand what you were trying to say and save you from the embarrassment. 

You had no such luck.

You wanted to scream out of frustration. He could be so dense sometimes.

This was it, no more running around.

You passed the note and looked away. You weren’t sure you could handle seeing Eddie’s reaction to your words. Instead you looked back to the teacher in the front of the classroom and waited for Eddie’s reply.

But it never came. 

Eventually you glanced at him and found him reading and rereading your note. His leg wasn’t bouncing anymore, in fact, he looked very tense.

You sighed and looked away sadly.

You got what you wanted: you definitely ruined your friendship.

The bell rang and it was lunch time. You picked your things and walked out of the classroom, but you didn’t make it very far before Eddie stopped you by grabbing your wrist.

He placed a piece of paper on your palm and kissed your cheek.

You stood dumbfounded in the hall as you watched him walk away. 

Then you unfolded the paper and read his note.

[stories-by-shanna-p]

leap of faith | eddie munson

eddie munson has never liked summer, but he likes you a whole lot

Eddie Munson has never claimed to like summer. In fact, everything about the season was essentially the opposite of the boy. His long dark hair, black jeans, and the two jackets that he claimed were part of his ‘essence’. 

You, however, thrived under the hot Indiana sun. Summer meant sundresses, picnics, swimming, and poolside parties with your ragtag group of friends who had tirelessly saved Hawkins multiple times. From the outside, you and Eddie were an odd pair, the two of you laughing about it late at night after getting multiple double takes while sharing a strawberry shake at the diner. 

Today, you were parked up in Steve’s backyard floating in the pool with the younger boys playing chicken at one end and Max and Robin at the other poking fun at your boyfriend who was parked up in one of Steve’s pool loungers, still wearing most of his usual clothing. You had managed to convince to at least take off his two jackets once you had arrived, whispering softly in his ear and pressing kisses to his cheeks all too aware of the lingering self consciousness he held about his scars from those bats in the Upside Down. 

You knew Steve felt a similar way to Eddie, the bats using him as a chew toy just as much as your beloved boyfriend, but he couldn’t deny how hot an Indiana summer could get. You watched him shrug off his shirt and cannonball into the pool, right between Dustin and Will, the shock throwing them off of Lucas and Mike’s shoulders. 

The chaos allowed you to slip out of the pool and kneel next to where Eddie was laying on the lounger. “You sure you don’t wanna join, Teddy? I know you must be sweating under there,” you whispered to him, pressing a soft kiss to his jawline to sweeten the deal. Eddie turned to you to press an impossibly softer, sweeter kiss to your lips, “You know I can’t darling, but you don’t have to miss out just because I’m sitting up here.” 

He watched as a wave of emotions came over your face. He knew what happened to him had affected you, weeks of you sitting at his bedside, holding his hand, whispering words of encouragement as he worked through physical therapy; your first kiss shared after a particularly grueling day with Eddie walking completely unassisted for the first time. 

As much as you wanted to push him and have him join your friends in the pool, you understood how he felt. Pressing a smattering of kisses from one temple to the other, you smiled sweetly at him and turned back to the pool, joining Nancy and El as they sat on the edge with their feet dangling in the water. 

With your back turned to him, Eddie made up his mind. He knew it was never going to get better unless he started pushing himself. Sneaking inside, he stripped off his black jeans and faded t-shirt, right down to his boxers, cursing himself for not even considering bringing shorts to swim him. 

He caught Steve’s eye as he crept back outside, he held a finger to his lips to keep quiet. Steve caught on immediately, pulling your attention to him to allow head to come outside unnoticed. Slowly, more of the gang could see what was happening, smiles sent Eddie’s way while you continued to talk to Nancy, completely oblivious to what was unfolding behind you. 

Just as you went to turn and check on Eddie, he jumped. It took you a minute to realise what happened. You hadn’t even considered Eddie would change his mind and join you in the pool. He swam to you with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face that you had ever seen and you knew you were sending one right back to him. Sliding back into the water, you moved right into his open arms and kissed him until you couldn’t breathe anymore. 

Your friends cheered around you, knowing how big of a deal this was for Eddie, for all of you. What you had all gone through together just a few short months ago was still fresh in everyone’s minds. Eddie’s leap of faith, knowing that you and all your friends would be there to catch him, felt like the turning of a new page for all of you. 

thank you for reading!!! <3

[stories-by-shanna-p]

Okay but eddie hooking up with a very sweet girl who just likes him bc he's him. The morning after he's getting dressed to leave and she follows him around the room trying to talk to him and basically trying to get him to stay he's speaking to her but not too munch engaged just assuming she didn't want to be seen with him afterwards she finally asks him in a broken voice if he's leaving and he said yes because everyone else wants him to it can end with him jumping back into bed with her once he realizes she truly does like him because he's himself maybe some smut thrown in at end

Are you leaving?

A/N: Thank you so much for leaving this request! I hope I made it justice, I noticed that worked in quite a lot of backstory. In my mind this takes place sometime before the events of season 4. 

Summary: After your first night with Eddie, he thinks that he’s supposed to leave unnoticed, but you change his mind. 

Content warnings: Slight angst, slight Hurt/comfort, mentions & hints at smut, mutual pining. Fluff.

Masterlist

Eddie opened his eyes and remembered that he wasn't home. 

He looked around the room and took everything in, the bedspread, cushions and two random stuffed animals that were now in a pile on the floor. A bookshelf that held everything from pride and prejudice to the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. Among the books there were small trinkets, things collected from trips, gifts and Polaroids in frames. Eddie recognises most of the people in the photos from school, 

One of them portrayed a picnic scene, on the blanket Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington were sat, throwing grapes at each other. Eddie found himself wondering what exactly happened to the two of them? After a moment he figured that he would never know. In the picture you could also see a yellow converse. One he recognised from last night, because it belonged to the woman next to him.

He looked down at you. You looked so peaceful whilst asleep, with one hand above your head, nose slightly twitching, lips, still plump from kissing all over Eddie last night, slightly parted, letting out soft sighs as you were sleeping.

Eddie wanted to reach out and softly wake you, he wanted to bring you into his arms, to hold you in his embrace, maybe sneak another kiss or two, but mostly he just wanted to be around you. He found you so genuinely kind, such an excellent mixture of pretty and witty.

He noticed things about you that often passed others by. 

 Eddie had fallen for you long ago, when he heard you passionately rant to your friends about this book you just read. 

Your friend had sighed and said something about hearing that the movie was coming out soon and that they’d rather wait and watch it instead. 

Eddie remembered exactly what you had said in response. 

”But reading is so much more unique, when you read something, it’s your own mind that gets to fill in the teeny tiny gaps, and in a sense that what makes every book you read a tiny bit yours. A movie can never be that” 

Since that day Eddie had admired you and the way your mind worked. That’s why he got visibly nervous at last night’s party when you pushed through the crowd to get to him. He was only really there to deliver goods to some stoners. But when you, slightly drunk, with twinkling eyes looked into Eddie’s face and said;

“Munson, make out with me? Please?” 

How could he deny you anything?

This morning he was filled to the brim with worry and regret. He didn’t regret being with you, everything had been exactly what he had hoped for and more.

What he did worry about was your social status. Would people at school treat you like they treated him if they saw you together?

He had been through this before, semi-popular girls had sex with him and then refused to even interact with him afterwards. Sometimes he was invited to stay the night, but mostly he was being pulled into a bedroom only to be pushed out the door an hour later. He and the way he presented himself was a fantasy to these women. But being seen with him was an equal amount of social-suicide for them. 

He didn´t want that for you, he cared to much about you. 

Eddie carefully wiggled out of bed to not wake you, and began searching the floor for his pants. 

He found them draped over this chair and carefully shoved his feet in them, trying to not jiggled the chain hanging on his pants too much. 

He stopped by your bookshelf again whilst buttoning his jeans, looking at your neat and tidy copy of lord of the rings. He thought of his own copy, how battered and torn apart it was from him reading it so many times. 

You woke up to see him standing there, his big, calloused, ringed hands running so lightly over the spine of the book. He was shirtless, his long, messy locks fell perfectly unperfect down his bare back. The jeans clung to his hips and he were all kinds of beautiful, there really weren’t words to explained the way your heart felt as you looked at him. 

You first fell for him when you learned how he wasn’t what everyone thought he was. It was back when you were a freshmen in high school, a fight broke out in the cafeteria, between Eddie and Jason Carver, no one really noticed what the fight actually was about but everyone blamed Eddie, called him a freak. Not even the teachers gave Eddie the benefit of the doubt. 

When you left the cafeteria you saw Eddie in a deserted corner of the school, near your locker, he was talking to a blond boy from your class, if you remembered correctly his name was Gareth. 

You grabbed your books without them noticing and the conversation you happened to hear was something that stuck with you for way longer than you would have guessed. 

“Thank you for saving my ass in there… I’m sorry, I should had thought it through before saying shit that provokes Jason. I know that it’s easier to lie when around him.” Gareth said. 

“hey, okay, no. That bullshit mindset will kill your sprit.” Eddie said, “If Jason-Asshat-Carver thinks you’re weird, then show the fucker weird.“ 

Gareth laughed and you heard by the way he was breathing that he had been crying previously. 

“Honestly man, he properly thinks I worship satan. What I really do is tell fairytales and rolls dice with other nerds. but he thinks I’m a freak, so then I am, simply because it creeps him the fuck out, which actually gives me the upperhand.” Eddie explained. 

it grew quiet, a silence that you later found was Gareth, thinking.

“Are there any open seats?” you heard Gareth ask carefully. “With the freaks?” 

“There is always seats open with the freaks,” Eddie said. 

The fact that he never conformed, was what you liked about Eddie the most, he was all kinds of special and never pretended to be anything less or anything more. 

You threw your feet over the edge of the bed and stood. 

Eddie jumped slightly as you put your hand on his back. 

“oh, morning” Eddie mumbled as he saw you. 

You smiled warmly at him, and you reached out and plucked the lord of the rings from the shelf. 

“Have you read it?” you asked. Eddie didn’t meet your gaze, he looked around the floor, and only said a small “yeah” in response to your question.

It hurt Eddie to not engage in conversation with you. This was essentially all he had dreamt about, but if it hurt you in the long run it wasn’t worth it. 

He picked up his shirt from the floor, as you were opening up the book, preparing to show Eddie how you had small post-its in all your favourite places. 

“I fell in love with it from the get-go” you started to ramble. Your eyes were shining with passion for the subject and Eddies own eyes stung as he tried to control himself and not lose it all to this own self negative thoughts. 

“What do you think of this part here, cause I really think it symbolises…” you had looked down into the book and now when you looked up again you saw a sad looking Eddie Munson putting on his leather jacket. 

You felt your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. 

Last night you had finally gained the courage to take the first step, you had worked yourself up for that moment and it as gone so incredibly well. 

Were you not what he expected? Were you not good enough? Was he really leaving? Your eyes filled with tears, all your hope hanging in the air, crashing toward the floor with every step he took out the door. 

“Are you leaving?” You sounded more small and broken than you had hoped. 

“I´ve already stayed for too long” Eddie said, barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry”

You reached out for him, dropping the book on the bed, grabbing Eddie’s hand. 

“Why are you sorry?” you asked, tears rolling down your cheek. 

“I’ll ruin so much for you sweetheart” Eddie said, the petname slipping out accidentally. “I’m not what’s meant to be for you. No matter how much I want to be it.”

“Eddie” you said sounding desperate. You tugged him close to you, wrapping your arms around his waist, laying your head against his chest.  “Stay, please.” 

“Sweetheart, I’d love too, but are you sure?” Eddie said, instinctively wrapping his arms around you. 

“I want you because you are you Eddie, not because of anything else.” you said, relaxing in his hold. “please tell me you’ll stay.” 

“I’ll stay” Eddie said, a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Can we get back into bed?” you asked looking up at him, with a hopeful gleam in your eye. 

“Of course.” Eddie said, letting go of you to shrug out of his jacket. “Do you want to show me your favourite part of lord of the rings or do you want a repeat of last night?” 

You smirked at him.

“It’s your pick” you said, “But either way, take your pants off.”