strawberry-metal

[strawberry-metal]

Went to the doctor because I literally can't handle any form of noise anymore. It's all extremely loud to me and keeps causing me to breakdown in private and in public. It's gotten to the point where it's painful and I feel like I'm going insane. I'm also getting migraines in the frontal lobe area everyday now. I keep exploding now, can't control my emotions, and have no patience anymore. It's theorized I may have some sort of disorder where the muscles in my ear can't regulate volume control anymore. I'll be going in to get a cat scan. They haven't called yet so I don't have an exact day.

I haven't told you guys about any of this because I complain enough about my problems. Seeing as it's gotten this serious though, I figured I should probably provide this update. I'm still going to Mikuexpo tomorrow but I will be wearing headphones to hopefully make noise more manageable....

#mun #update

[strawberry-metal]

Hey, hold on there Strawberry!! I attended the Expo this year knowing full well about Miku being trapped in the screen. My friend gave me his ticket after finding out. Anyway... the concert itself might not have been what we all wanted, but it was still a GREAT time. Just a ton of fellow Vocaloid fans having a blast together <3 I hope you can enjoy it too, it was really fun for me even though I went in with expectations on the floor. - 🐟

Thank you, fish anon. As long as we can see the screen from the front, hopefully we can still have fun at the concert together....

#mun #fish anon

[strawberry-metal]

Hey girl, just want you to know I'm just coming down from a long stint of manic depression and I'm finally starting to feel better. You will too. ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💜

Thank you lovely anon <3333

#mun

[strawberry-metal]

Welcome to another week! I hope it's a good one for you and getting better all the time 😘

Thank you <3 I'll be going to Mikuexpo on Wednesday. I'm kinda nervous because of the LED tv and every other controversy that's been happening. I waited my whole life to finally get to go to a Mikuexpo concert and my first experience is gonna be.... this. And it was supposed to be apart of my bf and I's anniversary to eachother too. u.u

#mun

[strawberry-metal]

Finally, Saturday @_@ Have a great one Strawb, don't overdo it!!

HELLO FROM SUNDAY I AM VERY TIRED :D

#Mun

[strawberry-metal]

Dio beating meat

Dio (c) Reol1999 Proscuitto (c) elina099 Pesci (c) elina099 Train Stage (c) AmiAmy111

HgSAO (c) 針金 o_toPaleProcColor (c) Otamon o_Bleach-bypass (Otamon PowerDOF (c) Beamman CheapLens (c) Sovoro Diffusion (c) Sovoro ColorShift (c) Elle

All other effects added in Photoscape

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyō na bōken #MMD #MikuMikuDance #Dio #Dio Brando #Proscuitto #jjba #jojo #part 5 #vento aureo #golden wind #3D #3D art #3D model #anime #caffeinated-chaos-bean

[strawberry-metal]

Ohh, looking great so far! I'm glad I scrolled down~ - 🌶

Thank you!!!

#Mun #chili pepper anon

[strawberry-metal]

Oh my gosh, I can't wait to be able to get your edit!!

Awww anon! Thank you! Your interest makes me so happy! It will be in a Koron head pack! It’ll contain five head edits by yours truly!

#Mun

[strawberry-metal]

Thank you so much, the support I’ve received from you guys regarding this has helped so much. ;w; The edited photos made me feel alot better about myself, and I can actually like the photoset now.

#Mun

[strawberry-metal]

The hair down Jolyne photoset has been changed to the edited ones on my DA, and two of them that I removed a year ago have been reuploaded edited!

#mun #update

[strawberry-metal]

PRETTY

Thanks!

#Mun

[strawberry-metal]

Girl your EYELASHES - ☠️

Took me three hours because Koron doesn’t have alot of vertices in the lashes so it took awhile to make them look right, AND NOW ALL THE EYE FACIALS ARE BROKEN AND I GOTTA FIX THEM AAAAAA

worth it though lol

#Mun #skull anon

[strawberry-metal]

P A I N

#MMD #face edit #MikuMikuDance #doing my best lol #Comparison #before and after #MMDC #Wip #work in progress

[strawberry-metal]

This face edit is killing me, why did I add so many lashes (ಥ﹏ಥ)

#mun

[strawberry-metal]

Hey everyone… sorry but I’m gonna make this response short because I’m exhausted and haven’t been doing great today mentally, which sucks because I was great yesterday. I’m really sorry about the vent. I originally only meant to give the update but then the vent just kinda… happened. The original photoset will stay on my tumblr and the edited set will be on my deviantart. Thank you so much for the messages and I appreciate every single one of you. Truly.

I hope one day I can feel comfortable in my own body again and see myself the same way all of you see me. Also… thank you for not being disappointed in me.

#Mun #pizza anon #Dio anon

[strawberry-metal]

Ok. I couldn’t take it anymore. I got my Jolyne hair down cosplay photoset edited on my deviantart now. I had my stomach and chin edited in them. I can’t stand my own body. I hate it so much. I eat once a day, I exercise, I take diet pills, but it just doesn’t go down despite my best efforts. The internet is also a very cruel place and I now get horrible anxiety leaving this photoset up unedited. I’m sorry, I don’t blame anyone if they’re disappointed in me. 

Please, remember not every image on the internet is real, alot of the time there’s filters and edits. Just because your body doesn’t look like an edited one doesn’t mean you’re not attractive. I just wish I could of shown the same kindness towards myself. 

Below is how I looked just two years ago. Two years ago I actually liked my body and was confident and now I absolutely fucking hate myself. I lost all this the moment my psychiatrist thought it was a good idea to put me on three medications that have weight gain as a side effect. What’s the point of anti depressants and anxiety meds if it just gives you another reason to be suicidal.

#Mun #tw suicidal #tw depression

[strawberry-metal]

Like father, like daughter

#Cute #lol #JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure #family #Jotaro Kujo #Holly Kujo #Joseph Joestar #jjba #jojo #jojo no kimyō na bōken #part 3 #sdc #stardust crusaders