strongsurvivor18

[strongsurvivor18]

I’m proud to show this. It’s sexual abuse awareness month. And this is all my things showing awareness. We, as survivors, have gone through hell, but we will get through this! We all have different stories but we can’t compare. Everyone who has gone through rape, abuse, assault, or molestation.....it is NOT your fault. I don’t care if you were 2, 8, or 31.....it was the perpetrator’s fault!! My abuser was my brother-in-law. I am not proud of what he did to me. But I am proud what it has made me today. Yes I still have my days. My days of flashbacks. Depression. Anxiety. PTSD. Suicidal thoughts. Intrusive thoughts. But I know that I can get through this. I know God will get me through this time. I am only in the beginning stage of my healing journey and it’s tremendously hard!! But through this time, it’s going to make me a survivor. No matter what we went through, it doesn’t define who we are. No matter what our mental health does to us, it doesn’t define who we are. You are a survivor. I want to be a court advocate or a detective when I am older. I want to help the people who are going through abuse, or the people who have. I will always believe victims no matter what.

#may be triggering #becoming aware #survivor #fighter #abuse #ptsd tw #SA awareness month #christian #ask to tag #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw assault #recovery reminders #important

[strongsurvivor18]

This month is sexual abuse awareness month. Dealing with quarantine, a lot of survivors are being abused by their abusers. It’s very sad to know. But I would like to just say you can get through this!

I was sexually abused myself. I barely survived. I was suicidal, depressed, anxious, and angry. My move was always freezing when things happened to me. But that’s me. My brain protected me that way.

I am now here. I still do struggle with PTSD, anxiety, depression, and OCD. But I can get through this. I have to chose to let Satan win. Or I chose to let myself win. I will never let my abuser win either. For a year and two months, I struggled with the legal system. But I got justice. 20 years. That seems to be amazing? But no. I still struggle. Even if my abuser got the death penalty, life, or a longer sentencing. I still would have to face my healing journey. This is part of my healing. And it’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay. Your gonna have those days when you feel like you can’t handle your life. But when you look back, you’re gonna be proud of yourself. I am proud of myself. For 6 years, I had to go through hell. If it wasn’t abuse, it was court. If it wasn’t court, it was abuse. I lost friends. I lost people in my life that I would think that would stick by me. But I knew they weren’t the true people in my life. Even though I wish I still had them at times, I realized I can’t have those toxic people in my life.

Your not a victim.....YOU ARE A SURVIVOR ❤️

#self healing #may be triggering #becoming aware #speakup #strong #anxitey #trauma #survivor #narcisistic #complex ptsd #family #itsoknottobeok #repost

[strongsurvivor18]

[strongsurvivor18]

When he touches you in your sleep and pretends he doesn’t know.

[strongsurvivor18]

To The Pathetic Man That Assaulted Me for 6 Years...

Dear You, “You.” It seems strange that I don’t even know what to call you, considering you almost ruined my life. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, but I am all too aware of my assault every day of the year. Sometimes, I wonder what was going through your head.. What could have possibly made you think you had the right to violate an eight-year-old girl — to take her innocence and rip it away from her? What kind of delusion led you to tell her that her parents would hate her if she told them? I wonder how you live with yourself after you touched me, and then told me it was my fault. You used to tell me it was because my clothes, I was eight years old, wearing little girl clothing and you’re going to blame my outfits? It took me almost six years to start wearing shorts again because of you.

I wonder if you remember all those times as clear as I do - as I probably always will, for the rest of my life. I’m not sure if I remember the very first time, because I was so young, young and fragile; but I do remember times after that. I thought I would never get a break. You took everything I thought would be my choice away from me.

It started out me wanting a ride on the four-wheeler and you’d take me. You would stop in the woods, turn around and pull my shirt down and try to look at my breasts. You tried to kiss me there, and play with them. It was so frightening I didn’t know what to do, I felt as if I couldn’t scream. I just let it happen and I tried to push you off me. You were so much bigger than I was though, what more could a little eight year old do?

My mom and dad fought often and sometimes one or the other would move out and go somewhere else. My mom went and stayed with her friend and I went along with her, little did I know you would stay there too, sometimes. I remember sleeping in the bed and you came into the bed with me, while I was sleeping, and put my hand on your junk. I remember punching so you’d stop. Time after time this happened.

I got older, about eleven, but the older I was I grew more scared. You were drinking one night, and being rude so I was being rude too. You choked me out, and I went into a seizure almost. I remember shaking and crying, my mom put me in the bath. There was one bathroom at the time, what a coincidence you’d have to use the bathroom the second I was in the bath. You came in there trying to look at me, and touch me. I cried, but I never said anything, to anyone.

Time and time again you’d do this to me. When I was sleeping, when we’d be home alone, anytime, didn’t matter when, didn’t matter who was there.. One day though, I woke up without pants on and I couldn’t remember what happened. I was horrified. This is when I spoke up, I asked my little sister if you came into the room that night, she didn’t know, so I explained to her what had been happening to me.

It got to the point where I didn’t even want to shower because I was scared of you coming in there. It didn’t matter if I locked the door or not, you’d just unlock it anyways. I would just wash my hair and go on about the day, because quite frankly I wouldn’t care if I washed my body or not. That’s how scared you made me. One time, it was just us at the house. I thought you were sleeping so I hopped in the shower, you violated my rights; unlocked the door and came in spying on me, I was 15 years old then.

I finally came out about it to my grandma the day you hit me and she blamed it on your "illness”, your “illness” is you’re a druggie. I told her, she didn’t believe me, and the thing she said was, “was he high? he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s high” That’s not true, you didn’t do drugs when you did this to me the first three years. You knew EXACTLY what you were doing. She asked why I never came out about it and I said it was because I started when I was young. She asked me how young and when I told her right, she replied “oh pfftttt…” as if I made it up, just so she could protect her little pathetic “son”.

You almost ruined my life; until I started talking. I hope you get what you deserve, and nothing less. I will never be the same again. I will no longer live in fear because of something a piece of scum did to me. I am stronger that that, I am a stronger person because of what you did to me and what I went through. I am strong, but weak.

Sincerely, A strong survivor.

[strongsurvivor18]

im so tired of everything

[strongsurvivor18]

Consent.

[strongsurvivor18]

I relate too much

There is this side of you. That no one knows about. That you keep hidden. You’re ashamed to have people see this side because it is too horrific for their simplistic mind to wrap their head around and even if they understood, they never will because they are not you.

There is a younger side of you. That no one knows about. That you keep hidden. You’re ashamed for people to see her, that kid you were who’s battered hiding in a corner and all you want to do is run and hide from her.

But she is you too. And you cannot escape from that.

[strongsurvivor18]

This has been my life that pass few months. Keep fighting survivors

“Recovering from abuse is so hard. Right now I’m going through the stage of anger and it’s awful. I want to hurt my family just like they did to me but I don’t want to hurt anyone.. I’m supposed to love them but how do you love someone who did you wrong and never took the blame? How do I confort my younger self? I know this is temporary and necessary but it’s not easy.”

—

[strongsurvivor18]

Strongsurvivor18 hits me at home. I was sexually abused at a young age. I am still on the healing journey. I am strong. I am a survivor. And 18 means 2018 when I spoke up to my family what was happening. It has been a tremendously hard road but I am so happy that I am out now. I am here for anyone who’s going through this or have gone through this. Trust me, I know how hard this is. I love y’all ❤️ thank you for reading.

#survivor #fighter #ptsdsupport #ptsdsurvivor #ptsd recovery #complex ptsd #ptsdwarrior #ptsd tw #support #dontgiveup #keepfighting #staystrong