strosmkai-rum

[strosmkai-rum]

actually i want to update this again and say that i got a uti on amtrak

update post — everything that's happened since july 3rd, 2022

hi everyone!

a little over a year and a half ago i stopped posting or using tumblr at all. long story short, i don't think it was a hiatus, and i don't think i am coming back.

a lot has happened since then! i mostly stopped being a part of the elder scrolls fandom. i don't really play skyrim anymore, and i sure as hell don't make content anymore. i've also (mostly) stopped writing, but the little i do write, i can't justify in posting. i stopped making tumblr posts, even on other blogs. all of the time i spend on tumblr now is scrolling through hashtags.

i've tried several times to rekindle the attachment that i had for skyrim and tumblr and in hindsight, i think i was more attached to the memories i've made in this fandom and on tumblr than anything else.

seeing as this blog started out as an elder scrolls blog, i've decided that i should archive this blog and properly say goodbye. it's a lot of work maintaining more than one social media, and i have too long of a list of irl commitments that will only continue to grow. but i want to thank everyone i've met here for all the wonderful memories! i was mostly active here during a not great point in my life and i don't think i would have gotten out as easily if i didn't have y'all. thank you.

if anyone would like to stay in touch, you can dm me for my discord (i'm primarily active there atp).

[strosmkai-rum]

update post — everything that's happened since july 3rd, 2022

hi everyone!

a little over a year and a half ago i stopped posting or using tumblr at all. long story short, i don't think it was a hiatus, and i don't think i am coming back.

a lot has happened since then! i mostly stopped being a part of the elder scrolls fandom. i don't really play skyrim anymore, and i sure as hell don't make content anymore. i've also (mostly) stopped writing, but the little i do write, i can't justify in posting. i stopped making tumblr posts, even on other blogs. all of the time i spend on tumblr now is scrolling through hashtags.

i've tried several times to rekindle the attachment that i had for skyrim and tumblr and in hindsight, i think i was more attached to the memories i've made in this fandom and on tumblr than anything else.

seeing as this blog started out as an elder scrolls blog, i've decided that i should archive this blog and properly say goodbye. it's a lot of work maintaining more than one social media, and i have too long of a list of irl commitments that will only continue to grow. but i want to thank everyone i've met here for all the wonderful memories! i was mostly active here during a not great point in my life and i don't think i would have gotten out as easily if i didn't have y'all. thank you.

if anyone would like to stay in touch, you can dm me for my discord (i'm primarily active there atp).

#my mad ramblings #elder scrolls #also smaller updates! #i'm 18 now #i graduated high school and went to university #i thought i'd become less ambitious when i was met with a LOT of challenges but no #so right now i'm doing a dual degree in math and physics and hopefully i'll be interning at my university's hospital next year #i had a moment where i was like 'i'll never stop being defined by whatever happened to me' #and then it became 'i'm only defined by what i make of it' #and i like to think i've grown since i was 16 and very very very very VERY stupid #my degree choices fluctuate every now and then but i'm definitely solid on double majoring #i also smoked weed for the first time and i experienced every dimension at the same time it was wild #i'm open to server invites btw bc rn i'm mainly haunting the few servers i'm active in

[strosmkai-rum]

im gonna buy the tumblr shoelaces

#my mad ramblings #not a drill

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i literally have my 44 credits to graduate i want to go home and not come back to that hell hoel

#my mad ramblings #ny state says that i need 4 years of gym and english and history to graduate bc they wanna keep everyone in school for the full 4 years #which. fine okay whatever i'll stay for 3 classes #and then my school doubles down on that and says 'you need 5 majors each year and they don't stack' #which means it doesn't matter if i took 2 english + 2 gym + 2 science (with labs) classes this year #they don't count for next year #which means i have to do this shit all over again

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To all the Tumblr users who tend to use tags very liberally:

#you kill me #also #whatevs #when #why is he so hot #i hate how true this is #look. #because #lowkey over i could never leave y'all mfs #????? the fuck

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went outside and died like it did in skyrim

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Firien: *ponders* *contemplates* *yearns* *seethes*

#*summons spider* #great so i'm scrolling through tumblr in the bathroom and i read this post and just so happen to look down to see a spider right there #she summoned a spider into my fucking bathroom thanks

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@the-videodame

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Apparently writing an adult character finally opening up about when she was 15-17 years old and killed two children (among others) in an act of revenge to soothe her aching heart, only to realize it didn’t work, and just made things worse, and having other characters (who live in a place like Skyrim) react to the story from a place of sympathy and understanding, rather than outrage and hatred is horrific writing and means all characters involved are sociopaths.

ok.

#this is relevant again

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im very convinced firien is just very pro choice and honestly? good for her.

Can't believe Firien is being slandered by pro-lifers

#THIS ASK IS SENDING ME HEEELP

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absolutely amazing to me how so many people in fandom have deluded themselves into believing that they are absolutely above criticism. better yet, that anyone who does criticize them is morally bankrupt for telling them what they don't like about the thing they posted online for anyone to see.

i'm convinced it's this attitude that's led to the epidemic of published authors having public twitter meltdowns over goodread reviews. maybe instead of raising your hackles when someone on the internet hurts your feelings, either log off or realize that maybe what theyre saying actually has merit

#. did i just see someone compare fanfiction to a real life mass shooting #i'm sorry i have no words

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So I've been sitting on coming forward about this for some time, opting to keep quiet to avoid stirring fandom drama, but I don't think I want to keep quiet about it anymore, because people in this fandom, good and honest writers who just want to enjoy themselves, need to know who they're dealing with. I understand this might flop, or create backlash against me, but I don't really care. All I care about is that I have done my part by informing the fandom of how these people behave when not putting up a public front, and that I've told my story.

Since TES Fest last year, I've had instances of plagiarism and copying condoned and dismissed by memaidraws (memai on ao3) and dumpsterhipster (filigreebee on ao3) and dealt with unsolicited "constructive" criticism from nientedenada (joyofthejoui on ao3) and an anonymous commenter on ao3 who goes by branson, who I would bet anything is related to them, given my previous instances with this group on discord, ao3, and here on tumblr.

I'm not going to waste anyone's time explaining any drama or situations that lead up to this, but I am open to DMs with any questions regarding. Before moving forward, though, I do want to state that the person who copied my fic has come forward of their own accord, apologized, and changed their work to be more their own thing, and we are still friends to this day. Bori (dumpsterhipster) had gone out of her way to try and cause problems between us, and I'm happy to say her attempts failed. My post is not about this individual, as they did everything to make it right. This is about people in the fandom who are very active here and on ao3, who have openly condoned plagiarism and dismissed and invalidated my feelings regarding.

That said, here it goes, and I apologize for strange image formatting. I had to work really hard to get around tumblr's image limit to include the most important parts.

First of all, memai excusing/condoning plagiarism. I have confrontation anxiety and vented about the first occurrence (there were two separate people who copied me) in a discord server. In some ways regarding me having a conversation with them, she was right, but as for saying plagiarism isn't as bad because it's fanfiction? Yeah. Not a good perspective to have. Especially in a server full of writers for a fandom that relies pretty heavily on fan content being expressed through writing.

Secondly, the second time it happened, Bori told me it was only happening because I was looking for it. I was not. I was reading a friend's fic to be supportive of them. The scene in question was not "similar ideas." It was a play-by-play of exactly what I had written with a few minor differences. I did have concrete proof of it, she just chose to ignore it in favor of dismissing my feelings.

Related, my friend came forward and apologized and owned up to it, and told me someone had told them I was upset. I asked who and they told me it was Bori. Bori took it upon herself to tell them that I should be flattered by what they did and it was sad I didn't. It was not her place to confront this friend for me, and I have no doubt in my mind that she did it with malicious intent. This friend even stated they felt her motives for messaging them were less than pure. My friend admitted what they did and she continued to tell them that I was the one in the wrong here. Their actual fic is nothing like mine, and it's enjoyable to read! There was just this one scene that was the same as mine. Bori didn't agree with that apparently.

I feel it is also important to note here that this woman is in her thirties and she's blatantly trying to manipulate someone who is just over half her age. They knew what they did was harmful, and she still insisted that they hadn't done anything wrong, and that I was in the wrong here. Not to mention, she's lying about how I handled the situation in the server, as well. I was not "really pissed," I was upset and hurt. I did not tell her to fuck off, and neither did the mod. The mod told her that they wouldn't stand for condoning plagiarism and I told her to stop invalidating me. I do have screenshots of these instances if needed, but I opted to leave them out due to tumblr's image limit.

Here we have joyofthejoui/nientedenada offering unsolicited "concrit" that strays into blatant bullying. The issue at hand is objective, I understand, but they openly admit that they hadn't read anything prior to the 45th chapter and proceeded to insult my characters (and by extension, my writing) while putting up a false front of "concerned third party." Notice a theme here with this group of people? I'm not making this post to defend my writing, but if they had actually read anything prior to this event they would know Firien's entire story is her own redemption arc, and they are also holding my interpretation of a violent, dog-eat-dog fantasy world to modern day, real world standards, which just isn't a sensible thing to do.

More on that matter here.

I was very direct in how I viewed their "constructive" criticism but they dug their heels in and refused to acknowledge that they were in the wrong. Concrit should only be given when asked for, or when an offer to do so is accepted. This isn't concrit. This is straight up criticism at best and bullying at worst.

Evidence this is nientedenada and tags from memai on the matter (note the date on Niente's comments and the date on Memai's reblog. It doesn't take a genius to piece together what happened here).

Finally, my comments from Branson. I was hesitant to include this since the comments are anonymous, but I truly have no doubt in my mind that Branson is either Bori or Niente due to the nature of the criticism, the fact that it was, again, thinly-veiled criticism under the guise of concrit. Similarly to Niente's implications throughout their comment, Branson ended a comment with how they hope I'm "more open" to criticism. The final comment infers that it's someone I have blocked who is finding a way around to look at my blog (which is... somehow a win for them? ok bud). Why else would they mention my "terrible" privacy settings? I have their entire group blocked because all they have done is target me.

That's all I really have to say for now. I'm open to questions anyone may have, but I feel this all needed to be said. Whether or not you agree with the criticism I got isn't what I care about. I care that these people are going around and acting like the holiest saints the fandom has to offer, but this is really how they treat people they disagree with/don't like. They condone plagiarism, attack writing, bully, and harass. I never did anything to them aside from tell Bori to stop dismissing my feelings regarding having my hard work being copied. If it happened to me, who else has it happened to? Who is next?

I stayed quiet about this for far too long, but now I'm speaking up about it because I'm tired of seeing them interact with my friends, knowing they're my friends, and acting like they haven't done anything to hurt me. But my friends are aware of what they've done, and that's bitten them in the ass lately. My friends standing up for me is what led me to have the courage to finally post this.

They can try to deny it all they want, but the screenshots don't lie. You don't want your name attached to the shit you've done? Consider not doing that shit to begin with.

They are active in the Arcana fandom, the Fallout fandom, and the Elder Scrolls fandom. I don't know what else they may be into, but I will be tagging this accordingly. People can do with this information what they will, but I want them to know who they might be dealing with.

#i'm glad you're speaking up about this man #we're right behind you and anyone on the contrary can catch these hands #seconding cozy rn #i've raised hell before over this and i'll do it again

[strosmkai-rum]

i love you mfs and tes is my True Fandom but dc beat me to death in an alleyway with an aluminum bat and as soon as i get the gall to write for it..... its over

#lowkey over i could never leave y'all mfs #my mad ramblings

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#VIGILANTE LMAO #gotham type beat

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bro i know you seeing this please just either reblock me or tell me what you want

it's been a year please why are you doing this

#someone told me you want to apologize to me? for what #i thought we were over this like we barely even knew each other #you don't need to apologize if you don't want to i forgave you a long time ago for what did or didn't happen between us

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it's been a year please why are you doing this

#i won't make a big deal about it i just want to know what you want

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martin: *traps a wasp under a cup*

sedaryn: *appears and sets down two more identical cups*

martin: no.

sedaryn: *starts to shuffle them*

===

aderyn: i am the most responsible person in this friend group.

jauffre: 'friend' group?

martin: you just set the kitchen on fire...?

aderyn: and i take full responsibility for that.

jauffre: hold on. you think we're friends?

===

anyone: are you two married?

jena: no, we're en-gay-ged.

caroline: and i'd like an early divorce.

===

aderyn: what am i doing wrong here?

roliand: do you want an answer as a friend, or a therapist?

aderyn: as a friend.

roliand: see a therapist.

===

jena: martin, have you seen baurus?

martin: i'm not seeing baurus!

jena: what?

martin: what?

tagging: @nine-blessed-hero @mishkakagehishka @arcane-elder-scrolls

#incorrect quotes