stupidbookworm

[stupidbookworm]

Tried my best to find info about ep 19 insert song. Here's what I found:

Title : Sōkū no Honō (そうくうのほのお - 蒼空の炎)

Artist: 竹中だいち (Takenaka Daichi)

I found this twitter post about it: https://twitter.com/TakenakaDaichi/status/1758892344831889827

The song doesn't seem to be out yet unfortunately.

Continue reading for translation and research stuff I found. (My Japanese skills are close to nil, so this is all my own interpretation of my research)

The title means 'Flame of the blue sky' (at least that's what I got from an online translator). The ceremonial building in which the ceremony took place is called 'Altar of the Sapphire Sky' (this is from the subtitles).

In Japanese, it's 蒼穹檀 (そうきゅうダン- Sōkyūdan).

Both the song title and the altar's name use the character 蒼 which translates to 'blue'.

From there, my guess is the song's name would be 'Flame of the Sapphire Sky', which would be a direct link to the building's name.

I wish I could read the lyrics already. I feel like they would be so heartbreaking though, considering the scene it was in and its title.

#kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #knh episode 19 #maomao #jinshi #japanese #song #research stuff #translation

[stupidbookworm]

It’s incredibly important to me that the anime decided to include this scene that wasn’t in the manga. In the manga, Maomao does pass out in Jinshi’s lap after saving him from what was obviously an assassination attempt.

HOWEVER, the manga cuts off at this point, keeping strictly in Maomao’s perspective, and cuts straight to when she regains consciousness in bed after being treated for her injuries. The manga doesn’t show how she got back. They SAY how, and she briefly mentions, “wow that must have been embarrassing; he carried me back,” but we don’t SEE it. We don’t get to feel the true impact of what that means. But the anime DID show us, and holy shit.

They SHOW us how taboo this is. They show Jinshi carrying her out of the temple, after a public attempt on his life.

They show us the shock and horror on Lakan’s face as Jinshi silently walks past him. Horror at the state his daughter is in, horror at another man—a man with a status he could never dare to question—staking such a public claim over his child, horror at the fact that he could never have this level of closeness with her (as Maomao would never allow it).

Everyone hides their gazes, as is their custom when someone of his rank passes by, but the air is different this time. Jinshi is furious, he’s terrified, and he could not give a single shit about how inappropriate it looks to these palace officials.

The shot that slowly follows her trail of blood—even though it’s a small detail—that in particular leaves such a intense impression of how poignant this is for him.

Maomao talked about this scene in the manga like it was nothing to her. She did what she set out to do: she saved the person who was targeted by the attack. She didn’t even know the target would be someone she knew. But she has no idea that this happened afterwards as a result of her bravery. To her, it likely wasn’t even an act of bravery at all. She acted on impulse; she did what she knew to be the right thing to do.

The anime didn’t need to include this, because the manga didn’t show it. But damn, I’m so glad they did.

#thank you for putting that into words #i wasn't breathing at all #the absolute shock lakan was in #the silent fury jinshi was exuding #everyone around half in shock from the incident half in shock of him walking out #the silence too #like goddamn they knew not make a noise #the scene with all the officials around especially #they're not in their organized lines outside the pavillion yet they knew better than dare move or say anything when jinshi passed by #the apothecary diaries #kusuriya no hitorigoto #maomao #jinshi #lakan #apothecary diaries #apothecary diaries maomao #knh #knh episode 19

[stupidbookworm]

It's so fun how often I see people being agender, asexual/ace-spec AND aromantic/aro-spec. Like y'all simply said "fuck it. I ain't dealing with this" and became an AAA battery

#pretty much the thought process yeah #like #oh no! anyways #once you accept one #the other two are like #can't i just... not? #asexual #aromantic #agender #Also the flags are so pretty #aaa battery

[stupidbookworm]

"the a stands for ally" enough of you. one thousand years ice prison.

#my ethics teacher once presented the lgbtqia acronym and saud that #baby ace me was not confident to correct in front of the whole class #but i did go up to them at the end of class #was so freaking scary lol #ace #acespec #asexual #ace rage #aroace #aro #aromantic #arospec

[stupidbookworm]

On coming to terms with my aromanticism

I remember the first time I saw the word asexual outside of science class. (Funnily enough, it was a Tumblr post screenshot reposted on insta) I didn't know much at the time about anything, but reading those few lines about what asexuality was felt like homecoming. It just clicked.

That's me, I'm not alone!

(Still took me a good 4-5 years before I completely, unashamedly accepted it. Thanks allonormativity --)

For some reason, aromanticism was much harder to come to terms with. I didn't want to think about it, didn't want to entertain the possibility—probably because I already knew on some level.

Asexuality was a warm embrace after a long night out.

Aromanticism was a plunge in freezing water. It was (is) terrifying.

My guess is this has to do with how society encourages and rewards innocent romantic relationships. Growing up, I never thought about sex being a defining part of a romantic relationship, and it's not like adults were going to spell it out to kid me either.

But romantic attraction has always been the main attraction. I was 4 in kindergarten and already the idea of finding a romantic partner was ingrained in my head. I was 10 in elementary seeing others fuss over their crush and how much they wanted a significant other. I was 14 in secondary school barely able to think of myself as asexual without feeling like I'd failed the human experience. I was 19 realizing a close friend wanted more yet I couldn't imagine myself reciprocating, no matter the person on the other side.

I am 20, scared senseless of my lack of romantic attraction.

I am 20, learning to live in a world molded into a heart shape.

Still, I catch myself thinking maybe I'll meet someone who'll change my mind. It's just too early, right?

What a painful thought, when I know it won't change anything. I'd take a best friend over a lover any day. Platonic over romantic love is an evidence, yet I can't help myself feeling like an incomplete puzzle.

It will take me some time still before I will wholly feel okay in my own skin. But the warmth and acceptance found in the aroace community will never fail to remind me I'm not alone.

Happy Aro week, hope everyone gets to enjoy their favourite chocolate.

#asexuality #aromantism #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aro #ace #aromanticism is so scary for no reason #wdym im not gonna experience falling in love #on second thought i'd rather not #asexual to aromantic pipeline #rant #random #i actually forgot valentine's day was coming up #chocolate

[stupidbookworm]

It always makes me laugh when people say aro + ace people aren't part of the lgbtqia+ community because they're not discriminated against, and then go on to discriminate against them. Like you can't say "Aro + ace people don't get hate!!" And then immediately after say "THEY'RE NOT REAL!! THEY'RE SO FAKE AND I HATE THEM!! GROW UP AND STOP ATTACKING THE LGBTQIA+ COMMUNITY!!!! GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!" Like dude you're disproving your own point literally as SOON as you made it

[stupidbookworm]

Dear Aspecs and Singles, don’t feel bad that it’s Valentine’s Day and you don’t have/don’t want bitches! This day can be about platonic or self love too! Spend time with your friends, or if you’re an anxiety-ridden introvert, like me, grab yourself a nice bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red(tm) and buy yourself a box of chocolates for a change! :D

#funny you say buy yourselves chocolate #cuz i went and bought myself 4 bars of my fave last weekend #i actually forgot valentine's day was coming up #they were on sale #cost me 10 to get 4 #did i get a stomachache? #yes #and what #chocolate comes first #asexual #ace #valentines day #asexuality #aspec #aroace #aromantic #aro #aromanticism

[stupidbookworm]

alr where’s my ace/aro/aroace ppl at

#asexual

[stupidbookworm]

"do you consider aroace people lgbt+?" bitch what do you think the A in lgbtqia+ is 😭😭😭

edit: it also obviously includes everyone else, such as agender

#i so want to tag my sibling #but also we dont follow e/o on here #just out of spite ya know #cuz that's exactly what they should learn #i'll send them a bajillion tiktoks instead i guess #aroace #asexual

[stupidbookworm]

If you don't think cis asexual people, cis aromantic people or cis aroace people are valid you can unfollow me right now.

#you see that heh #go ahead admit your defeat #:)

[stupidbookworm]

they were so funny for this

[stupidbookworm]

A list of rules when interacting with an aroace person, by an aroace person:

- Do not romantic our platonic. We will not hesitate to smash a rock into your skull.

- Do not piss us off. We're all attached by invisible walkie-talkies. It's like roaches--if there's one, there's definitely another one nearby.

- Do not say things like 'when you're married' or 'when you meet that special person'. Trust me, coming to terms with an aroace identity in a romance-centered world is not a fun, quirky choice.

- Do not assume that we don't like seeing romance/sex in the media. I'm aroace and one of my favourite genres is romance.

- WE ARE LGBTQIA+. Doesn't matter if we're cis, heterosexual but aromantic or heteroromantic but asexual or any other combination of all the various shades of aspec, WE COUNT AS QUEER PEOPLE.

- Do not equate being aroace or on the aspectrum to being celibate. It's not the same thing. Being aroace is not a choice.

- Being aroace does not mean we're all lonely or sad. Eating garlic bread is scientifically shown to boost your serotonin levels (don't fact check me on this)

- Living with someone or wanting to live with someone doesn't mean we want them romantically! If you have the option to establish a hideout for you and all your buddies, why wouldn't you?

This was, again, a list of rules when interacting with an aroace person, shown to reduce chances of dying by burnt breadsticks and pasta by 100%!

#asexual #ace pride #aromanticism #aroace #aromantic #lgbtq #we're not straight #we're not 'just inexperienced' #asexuality is not 'basically straight' #would it be too mean to tag that one person who said that to me? #heh #you know who you are #i'm still mad #it's a specific kind of hell to come out to the one person you thought it go well and have them answer 'basically straight' #atone for your sins

[stupidbookworm]

I don't have anything new for Sizhui's birthday. So here's a drawing of A-Yuan and Wangxian I did a while ago that I fixed up. 🤍❤

[stupidbookworm]

He knows

[stupidbookworm]

#incorrect quotes #but one of them is correct #and canon #legit what he said #hilarious still #and well executed #the apothecary diaries #jinshi #maomao #jinmao

[stupidbookworm]

guy who enjoys it when Maomao looks down on him like he's a worm finally has the opportunity to openly indulge in his kink and is having a field day

(aka a glimpse into what their life as a married couple will probably look like if you remove all the rank/social distinctions lmao)

[stupidbookworm]

thinking about Jinshi and roles. like it's not really a gender thing here, but because he's pretty, certain things are expected of him. like the rest of the rear court, and the whole society really. doesn't matter if he wants to be seen as a pragmatic person, or a strategic person, because what he IS to those around him is a pretty person. he has to make his true personality secondary -- a "surprising hidden side" of himself -- because of things he didn't choose.

I think it's a significant point of connection between him and Maomao, because she also experiences that, by virtue of being a lower-class woman. she wants to be an apothecary, she wants to be left alone to work on her research, but she has to make that secondary to her ultimate place in the society.

both of them are bound by birth and coincidence to roles they don't identify with, and both of them excel at using those roles to their advantage. Maomao uses her connections to make deals, and her knowledge to gain a foothold of authority (see: her sex ed lesson last episode). she uses her nearly-invisible position as an unattractive servant girl to go places without suspicion, and can roll blame to her employers if necessary.

Jinshi (my phone keeps trying to autocorrect that to "kinship") plays up the assumed attributes of a highly attractive person -- smiling and flirting and being more forceful than necessary -- so that his peers in rank don't see him as a threat. he's already in a precarious position, due to the circumstances of his birth, so playing a predictable part is crucial to his survival. he gets men and women alike to let their guards down (I see those looks, Doc) and tell him things that they would otherwise keep close. likewise, even his position as a eunuch in the rear court attemps to "place" him in his "proper role" and remove the possibility of him attempting to claim the throne.

neither Maomao nor Jinshi chose the roles that they wield like weapons, and both of them are cut just as deeply by them as they cut others. "Garden and cage", as Maomao says.

#very true #my autocorrector also tries to corrwct jinshi to kinship #each time it makes me laugh #cuz it's jinshi #and kinship #and the irony there is hilarious