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sugarbabymagnolia · 9 years

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This is great!

And advice for what to say as starter messages on SA? I don't wanna sound like its scripted but i don't wanna leave out my own twist. Is there any templates to help a baby get started for messaging? I'm looking for something h can use universal but add my own spice to it so each SA match feels special. Tracks in advance!!

I get asked this question too many times and I don’t like to answer it because when empirestatesugar ( I miss that chick so much ) was in the bowl she made a masterclass post on it. I tried searching for it on tumblr but not much comes up when you search her name. Luckily I saved this shit in a word document like a year ago. I used this technique a while ago when I used to be active on SA and so many men pointed out how lovely and personalised my message was. ….Which makes me wonder what kind of message some other people are sending? (100% shade)

The gold about the template below is when you personalise it to the a PrePOTs profile, he feels special ( he doesn’t realise that you basically sent the same shit to every man you have spoken to)

I’ll state the obvious and say you shouldn’t use this template. Make your own!

So here it goes. May nobody ask me ‘how to message’ ever again.

All Credit goes to EmpireStateSugar, non of the material below is mine.

“Why I message

Realistically, everyone on these sites is talking with multiplepeople at once, but as humans we love to feel uniquely noticed. So the two keythings I try to remember for an initial spam message are to stroke theego and elicit interest. You’re doing a really great job withtaking initiative but now it’s time to crank up your messages and get theresponses you want and deserve, girl!

Think of an initial message like a voicemail. If you get avoicemail saying, “Hey it’s Andy. Call me back.” You’ll be like what does thisbitch want? If you get a voicemail saying, “Hey, gorgeous. It’s Andy! Haven’theard from you in a while. I have the FUNNIEST story to tell you. You’re gonnadie. Call me back some time tonight before 10pm or else I’ll be asleep. Can’twait to hear from you. Bye!” What are the key differences here? The first onelacks motive or reason and has no sense of urgency. You have no idea why Andycalled or what he wants. Consequently, it’s not enticing and it’ll either takeyou hours/days to call Andy back or you’ll text him and say “Hey got yourvoicemail. What’s up?” You never want a POT to have to ‘What’s Up’ (aka wtf doyou want) you! When people write on their profiles “Not a fan of endlessemails/texting” THIS IS WHY. Make your point and make sure your point is a goodone! The second voicemail not only makes the point but it leaves the receiverbegging for more. What’s Andy’s story? I’ve got to hear it! I might even walkout in the middle of class just to call Andy back and hear what he has to say.This is the difference between a green check next to ‘sent messages’ and aninbox full of responses.

When I Message

On SA, there’s a daily quota of how many messages you can sendso choose wisely! Winks are unlimited per day, but as I mentioned above, theyare the crutch of the lazy and unimaginative. Your words carry much more clout!Rather than wasting messages on men who are too cheap/indecisive to pay for apremium membership, always make sure that the yellow “Premium” is highlightedon the banner on his profile. This way he can actually see, read, and respondto your messages!

How I Message

This might go without saying, but don’t waste your time reachingout to splenda, salt, and meatsuits. Just because BigDickDaddy69lives 10minutes away from you and has a million dollar income doesn’t mean meeting withhim will be worth your time (but if you want a free dinner, go for it girl!).READ THEIR PROFILES. Ctrl + F for “sex”, “kinky”, “stamina”, and other TRIGGERWARNING: TACKY AS FUCK words. If he’s in the clear, move on to extractingtidbits about him that you find interesting – his career, places he’s visited,sports he’s into, activities he loves, etc. Ctrl + T his profile in a tab rightnext to the message you’re writing for him so that you can refer back to itquickly if need be (I say this because Doctor is technologically challenged andidk you might be too lol). While spamming out your daily email quota should nottake more than 30-60 minutes and you are not here to write each individual manan ode, you do want to have some specifics.

Who I message

Assuming I’ve found a premium member who is not a meatsuit,there are two categories that he’ll fall in: Silent Sam and Fun Freddy.

Silent Sam is the standard SA user who, for reasons of extremediscretion, novice sugar profile experience, weak self-selling game, or allthree, lacks a well-defined profile. His About Me and About You are brief andvague with phrases like “let’s talk”, “message me for more”, “Handsome, fit,gentleman seeks SB”, “looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement” or otherNO DUH type shit. He may have little to no photos, or, worse, have severaltailored-suit or beach bod selfie shots thinking that his looks speak for him.He is probably using a vague username like “NYCbanker” or a fake name like“Mike.” Although his hazy wants and needs are frustrating, he is not to bediscounted for reasons such as his high income/net worth, high allowance (or itmay be open/negotiable but his income is high enough), handsome photos, orideal location. Thus, I conclude that Silent Sam has the potential to be a goodSD and simply needs me to extract this from him.

Fun Freddy, unlike Silent Sam, details his love of Russianballet and need for an SB who shares it at length on his profile. Indeed, hiswants, needs, hobbies, etc. are described explicitly on his About Me and AboutYou which are each a solid one or two paragraphs at least. He may have severalphotos, or still have little to none for needs of discretion or otherwise. LikeSilent Sam, his income/net worth, allowance, and location work well for you buthe has a leg up on Sam in that his personality and ideal arrangement align withyours as well.

What I message

(I’ve italicized the template and the rest is just content Iscraped from his profile)

Subject: Hey there, (Sam/handsome/nothing if he has noname or photos)! :)

Body: SO jealous that you live in Neptune! It’s a mere fourplanets away from me so I drive out often for the amazing rock climbing scene.Do you dabble in that at all? Unfortunately there’s not much of that on Earthwhere I’m from but it’s probably my favorite hobby. Have you ever been to Earthbefore? As a Management Consultant, I’m sure that you travel to several funplanets and I can tell there’s a ton I’d love to pick your brain about as I tooenjoy sight-seeing in various corners of our galaxy. I’ve enjoyed yourprofile thus far and would love to hear a bit more about you and your idealarrangement sometime soon.

Cheers,

Kelly Clarkson

^ Silent Sam is more time-consuming to message because you haveto pull teeth to fatten up your template. You can’t spew generic complimentslike “You’re so handsome!” or “You seem like a fun, active guy” when you haveno idea about either. You must rely a bit more on speculation. But thismessage does a great job of inserting yourself into the narrative of hislife. Now he knows that you’re available to meet for coffee in Neptuneoften. He knows you love to travel and he doesn’t have to feel shy about askingyou to join him on his bi-weekly business trips to Pluto. You also shoot him afew questions highlighting your interest in his life and give him action-steps(tell me more about yourself and your arrangement) to steer the conversationwhere you want to go and to give HIM a template for how to respond. Nothingworse than a message from a guy that says “How are you?” right? Ugh! This makes YOU have to do all of the guesswork. Don’t be that guy. Save yourbusy CEO the trouble and give him three or four key points to come back at youwith, which will be helpful as you’re trying to learn more about him in spiteof his blank ass profile. Ultimately, this message shows that you’re impressed withhim all off of a few words that he wrote down – what an incentive to divulgemore!

Subject: Hey there, (Fred/handsome/nothing if he has noname or photos)! :)

Body: I couldn’t help but gush over your profile! Notonly are your photos absolutely scrumptious, but you write so eloquently! It’sevident that you are an intelligent, successful, well-traveled gentleman whoknows how to have a lot of fun. We definitely share a lot of values andpassions in common. I LOVE that you’re a veterinarian – I have twopuppies myself. What made you want to study that line of medicine?Your photoline-dancing was very handsome! Have you ever tried salsa before? If not, I’llsimply have to teach you as it is my favorite form of dance :) You seemlike you’d be an absolute blast to spend time with and I’d love the chance tofind that out for myself. Can’t wait to hear more about you andyour ideal arrangement soon!

Xoxo,

Beyonce

^ This dude could be the most boring guy in the world but I’mstill gonna what? Stroke that ego! I act like his profile blew me away. BestI’ve read since I joined the site. He worked really hard to craft thoseparagraphs so I reward him accordingly. As Drake says, “I’m telling every girlshe’s the one for me, when I ain’t even planning to call.” Make him thinkthat you think that he is the shit! You might be wary of doingso because then he’ll think you’re puddy in his hands, but it really has theopposite effect. These men get dozens of messages that commit thebelow-mentioned offenses (or are boring like yours lol) and to read fromsomeone passionate, exciting, and lively is a breath of fresh air. Remember thevoicemail thing. If you have ten “Hey call me back” voicemails and oneenthusiastic, inquiring, fun voicemail, who are you going to call back first?The more interest I show in him, the happier and more inclined to learn aboutme he will be. Moreover, just like your message to Silent Sam, you’re seekingto insert yourself in the narrative of his life by allowing him to envision youtwo salsa dancing together. Once you plant this image in his mind, he’ll simplyhave to make it a reality!

AN INITIAL MESSAGE IS NOT THE TIME FOR:

Rapid-fire interrogation into his merits as an SD OR to bring uphow much allowance I want.

“Hey there, John! I’ve loved your profile. So tell me, whatbrings you to SA rather than a more traditional site such as eHarmony? Have youever been a sugar daddy before? If so how much allowance did she get? And whydid it end? Can’t wait to hear back from you!”

^Hey there, SB, you’re hot. Why are you on SA? Do you like oldermen a lot? The harrier the better? How many older men have you been with? Didyou let them do anal? How deep? ………………..Are you uncomfortable yet? This neitherstrokes the ego nor elicits interest. Instead, I pocket these key questions forthe next message or two. Like real dating, sugar dating isabout a personality match initially so I start off seeing what we have incommon and then (soon, don’t wait forever) move on to see if our arrangementexpectations align. As so many SBs say, treat him like a person, not an ATM.

Regurgitating my entire profile.

“Hey there, John! I’m a fun, sexy, college student at Universityof Tampa who is majoring in psychology. I love to dance, travel, and play withmy cats. I keep in shape by running four miles a day and I’m training for myfirst marathon coming up this summer. Blah. Blah. Blah. Copy and paste from myprofile.”

^After a guy reads my message, he will immediately go to yourprofile to learn more about me. So let’s give him more to learn! Don’t just sayeverything you’ve already said before. Your profile should do the telling andyour message should do the showing. If you say you’re fun, flexible and like totravel – show it! This probably won’t elicit interest since it’s not anythinghe couldn’t find from just reading your profile. And it certainly doesn’t doanything to stroke the ego since it’s all about you.

Ultimatums.

“Hey there, John! I’m a fun, sexy, college student who islooking for a man to spend time with two to three times a month for wining& dining, enriching experiences, and a mutual beneficial arrangement with,on my part, a monthly allowance of $5000. Is that YOU? :)” ^ It can be temptingto send the latter message because it seemingly weeds out guys who aren’t whatI’m looking for, right? Especially since guys send us these messages all thetime a la, “I’m not looking to waste either of our time so here’s what I wantyada yada yada.” Well these type of gun to the head messages are a big turn-offto a lot of people (especially shy newbies like Silent Sam); it’s better tostart light and then delve into what you’re looking for a message or two later.While this message may elicit some interest, if anything, it hurts the ego bymeasuring this man against my standards right off the bat. Don’t be a saltbaby. Don’t make it “Are you good enough for me? Why should I choose you?” Butinstead “are we good enough for eachother?” (at least not to his face)

SA winks and literal winks “;)” as they are universally tackyand creepy lol.

RECAP, AN INITIAL MESSAGE IS THE TIME TO:

Reveal specifically what I find appealing about a man.

Reveal my fun personality to this man.

Enable him to envision the exponential surge in his quality oflife with me as his SB.”

__ empirestatesugar -deactivated :(

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sugarbabymagnolia · 9 years

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1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 4. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 5. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 6. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 7. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 8. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 9. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 10. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 11. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 13. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 14. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 15. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

A self care list. I’ve been working on this. I promise it’s worth it. (via

splitterherzen

)

Good for the soul!

(via

aloha-misssugar

)

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