sullivanwrites

[sullivanwrites]

people w words like cool friendly nice friend buddy guy etc in their URL I automatically trust u

[sullivanwrites]

Don’t get me wrong, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

But, I had that feeling. The “this is where the credits would roll” moment.

In other words my time HERE is done. I need to leave, to see what else I can do with myself, see where else I could fit in. I had my movie moments, now it’s time for my soft epilogue despite being only 20

I need to see places I’ve never been, meet people I can’t find anywhere else besides their element, love people I haven’t met yet.

I can’t leave until someone else reaches their ending though. So I’ll sit with him through his doctors appointments and surgeries as he slowly withers away and I defer my dreams for a few more years, trapped here in the suffocating Midwest

[sullivanwrites]

Radio silence

I tell myself it’s okay

We’re both busy

It’s okay

You’re getting back to an old life

I’m molding a new one

You’re working

I’m singing

But like clockwork

I check my phone

Praying the radio silence has ended

The phone works both ways

But I can’t keep double,

Triple texting

Just in hopes we’ll talk again

Like old times

When you left we didn’t say goodbye

Despite neither of us daring to sleep

Just so we wouldn’t miss a moment together

We said “I’ll see you soon”

I promised I wouldn’t get attached

I knew the ending before we really started

One wanderer

One tethered to the Midwest

I knew it would break my heart

So I tried to not fall

But I did

I did

I did

Now it’s torture

I can’t tell you

It’s not fair to me

It’s not fair to you

So I’ll fuck around on weekends

Taking shots

So the nights blur together

But I know even in those shaky moments

Your name is still on my lips

As others try and get close enough

To let their hands wander across my skin

It’s your jacket I wear

It’s your eyes on my mind

I’m simply a lover

Lovelorn for a fool

I’ll see maybe once a year if I’m lucky

I want the radio silence to end

But if it does

I’ll keep this pain in my heart longer

I don’t know when to give up

So either keep me around

Or give up for me

#nblm #mlm #queer yearning #gay yearning #queer love #punk love #love poem #heartbreak poetry

[sullivanwrites]

Pining

Like clockwork

Here you stand

Pining after me

After you left

So the next shot I swallow

Is for you

Here’s to those who left

But are desperately,

Pathetically,

Missing me.

You and the dozen others

I know you’ll never forget me

How could you

I see your playlist

Not deleted

But constantly being edited

All for me

Isn’t it sweet?

You’re no different

Than the old hookups

Hitting me up

Because the taste of me

Still haunts

My smile, my eyes, my voice

Still holding you in a vice

As I move on and bloom

You wither and decay,

Rotting away

To the memories of me

While those who are worthy

Watch and laugh as you try

And try

And try

To grow the balls you need

In order to approach me once more

[sullivanwrites]

Millennial Battinson and Generation-Alpha Dick Grayson:

Bruce, trying to introduce a nine year old Dick Grayson to Nirvana, which is totally age-appropriate and not at all irresponsible: Music is important to me. It helps me express myself. Keeps the darkness within me from consuming my soul.

Dick: oh ye I like music too!!

Bruce: Hn. What do you li-

Dick, twirling around: ~We don't talk about Bruno, no no no~

Bruce: who is bruno

-

Bruce, seeing that Dick is sad: Do you want to watch a movie?

Dick: Aladdin!!!

Bruce, grinning a little tiny bit: Okay. *puts on Aladdin (1992)*

Dick: This isn’t Aladdin, this is a cartoon.

Bruce: *short-circuits*

—

Dick, leaning against Bruce as he works on a case: Can you get me a Pop-It?? Everyone at school has them!

Bruce: a what

Dick: A pop-it!! It's a fidget toy with little bubbles you can pop in and out! My teacher said I would probably like one.

Bruce: Okay? *hands Dick his credit card*

Dick, going on his iPad: Okay thankie!! I'm getting the unicorn.

Bruce, looking over Dick's shoulder: ...willyougetmeonetoo

Dick: Do you want a dino one?

Bruce, vibrating: yes

—

Dick: Everyone at school has Pokémon cards except me :(

Bruce: *stands up, exits Batcave, returns ten minutes later with shoebox full of Pokémon cards*

Dick: 🤩

Bruce: Do not lose my first edition Charzard.

—

Dick: Bruce you stink

Bruce: so do you

—

Dick: What’s for dinner?

Bruce: Delivery. Alfred is busy.

Bruce and Dick, in tandem: Chicken tenders.

—

Dick: *angery* >:-(

Bruce: What's wrong?

Dick: ...Everyone at school made Mother's Day cards and I had to do a coloring page instead.

Bruce: oh

Dick: >:-(

Bruce, shuffling, eyes fixed on the ground: Do you...want to go get ice cream? Alfred always got me ice cream on Mother's Day.

Dick: ...okay, Bruce. Let's go get ice cream.

Bruce: *grins, still not making eye contact*

Dick: And then we can watch Encanto again?

Bruce, who has every single line to that movie memorized and who has had the goddamned Bruno song stuck in his head for three (3) months: Sure. We can watch Encanto again.

[sullivanwrites]

I need everyone to see this

[sullivanwrites]

[sullivanwrites]

"wow my dash is so violent today!!!... Oh wait it's March"

[sullivanwrites]

I’ve never been one for drinking

But maybe I don’t mind the taste of beer

As long as it’s on your lips.

I’ve always been a independent man

But when my shivering hands couldn’t light my cigarette

I didn’t mind letting you help as you mumbled

“Pretty boys shouldn’t light their own cigarettes.”

I’m not going to get attached

For you’re one of those wondering souls

And I’m tethered to all that I know at home

But I’ll be damned if you aren’t my type

#queer punk #punk #queer #lgbtq #queer artist #trans artist #queer love #nblm #mlm #punk love #sully writes

[sullivanwrites]

untitled, antonio lee // mirages: the unexpurgated diary of anais nin (1939-1947), anais nin // your name engraved herein, dir. kuang-hui liu (2020) // memoirs of a dutiful daughter, simone de beauvoir // another day another girl, melissa huang // perfect day, alex dimitrov // ghosts of future past, louis dazy.

[sullivanwrites]

Apologies

I have been too dramatic in the past

The Victorian twink I was in a past life resurfaced

[sullivanwrites]

I will not delete the love of you I wrote

It will sit among these cobwebs

Because it was far too real

For me at least

To abandon

The way you did to me

[sullivanwrites]

Oh that triumph!

You are failing!!

I am thriving!!

Me the one you left to rot!!

Oh I am happy!!

And you??

You are not!!

[sullivanwrites]

The past

You crept in my mind

While my eyes took a rest

But it wasn’t you

Not the you I know

But the you

I fell for all those months ago

In a house I haven’t called home

In such a long time

But with you

And other ghosts I once knew

That place was home again

And My heart sang your name

Yet the morning rolled in

And I remembered

I do not love you

The you, you are now

And that building is nothing

But hollow bones

And ruined hearts

Those ghosts are gone

Those loves are dead

And I’m still here

Housing echos

Of the past

#poem #poetry

[sullivanwrites]

Not again

I’m not doing this

Not again

I’m not going to get attached

Not to you

You wondering soul

Who will never know the words “home”

For I have found mine

In the incessant city

You made your way to my home

And found me

As souls like yours often do

So I’ll entertain

But I won’t get attached

Not again

For souls like yours

Never stay long

So I won’t get attached

No

Not again

#queer punk #punk #queer #lgbtq #queer artist #trans masc #trans artist #punk love #love poem #nblm #yearning #queer yearning #queer poem

[sullivanwrites]

[sullivanwrites]

How strange it is to finally let myself let you go

To plan things with people who have never met you

To plan things with new suitors

To not tell you how well I’m doing

And god how freeing it it

To separate myself from you

To see how poorly you’re doing

It might be harsh

But I’m glad I’m thriving

While you’re drowning

I’m glad I left when I did