I am …not doing good so if anyone wants to like…talk idk message or send an ask or anything thatd be…a welcome distraction
“Your eating disorder wants you dead. At the end of the day, that’s really all it wants. That’s something you’re going to have to accept, that you are not in control, that this time will not be different. You can’t keep acting on those behaviors and expect to live a happy life, and the sooner you accept that the better. I have seen people go down that path and never come back. You’ll have to do things that make you anxious and that you don’t want to do, but you are worth the effort it takes to get out.”
— strong words from my psychiatrist, who knows what I needed to hear
sometimes i just want to scream that i’m fcking traumatized!! cut me a break!! i’m trying my hardest but i never learned how to have a healthy relationship i never learned that i’m valuable i never learned what it’s like to live with a healthy brain please please GIVE ME A BREAK IM TRYING !!!!!
I think, I think one of the worst things about realizing you’ve been abused is the actual realization. Slowly learning what’s normal and what isn’t. Having it smack you in the face that “oh god that wasn’t normal that’s not normal all” and it’s just this horrifying realization
And it gets worse. You remember more trauma. You remember more of the hell they put you through. You wonder how they still think they did nothing wrong?
You doubt. You refuse to doubt. You panic. You become this mess of “is this real” and “I know this is real” and “I don’t want this to be real”
Tumblr : Is Everything Okay?
Praying to any and all deities that will listen
PLEASE let me be the kinda guy to loose weight on t and not GAIN
Fun fact my ugw would put my bmi at 16.5 🙃